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Tag: punishment

144 – General Update on Me

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 144 – General Update on Me

i have had some deadlines at work prohibiting me to be here as much as i have been in recent months. But now most of that is behind me and i should be able to post more frequently again.

But i thought a general all-around update could be nice for those who wonder these things…..

COVID – has of course caused everyone anxiety and stress. And we are all dealing with it in our own ways.

Overall, i think i have mentally adjusted to the new-Normal. For us in Texas but also personally, that means masks worn in public places, and especially inside buildings. And always inside any building, unless eating and drinking. Stay reasonably and as far apart from others as possible. Don’t shake hands, or even fist/elbow bumps. Just don’t touch!

But other than that, our lives are “pretty much the way they were before covid.” So people asking about us going out – to dinner, to shop, to the movies, etc – my life is about the same as it was before.

i actually went to the movies just yesterday with my sister. We were the ONLY people in the theater. Literally. It was quite nice. i happen to think people are afraid of the germs (at say the theater) so they don’t go there. But that’s what makes it best for me…. when everyone else stays home, i get to go …. alone! No germs AND get popcorn too!

PIERCINGS – All of the piercings have healed quite nicely. The nipples are a tad sensitive when David gets too crazy pinching/pulling on them. But he’s aware of when that is and he stops. And the clit is the same really.

David says he likes putting his mouth on the jewelry and letting his tongue play with it. And i rather like letting him too! 🥰

i am about ready to go back to get the jewelry changed to something less about function and more about beauty. i am a bit afraid to change it out myself the first time, so i’ll go and watch them (and have them teach me) this first time. But now to pick out something that i deem “beautiful” too!

CHASTITY – hasn’t been done since before our Colorado summer vacation. i don’t want to do it now with the clit piercing. At least not for awhile. It fits so tightly, by design, i am afraid the clit piercing may get hurt, damaged, pull/pinch, etc. so i am intentionally not wanting it right now.

But i’m not really sure David ever much liked it anyway. He wanted me to control my urges to NOT play with myself without permission. And absent that, then fine, apply the chastity. But instead it was really me who wanted it. To help me control myself. i think David saw it as a crutch for myself. i think he wants me to want to submit…. voluntarily…. even if it’s hard. Whereas a chastity belt meant i had the ability to be (mentally) lazy and just rely on it. i feel i will need it again sometime, and i don’t think it was being lazy but rather helpful. So we shall see. But not for a bit until i absolutely know the clit is completely 100% healed.

BRA AND PANTIES– while i was given them back, i wear them sparingly. It isn’t a given that they just go on in the morning. i don’t have to report to David when i wear them, but he still more-or-less expects that they are worn when necessary – and definitely not around him.

i happen to think that this will just always be my norm. i have basically not worn a bra now for 16-months and panties for close to the same. And i am good with this!

It worked on my favor yesterday when i was dressing for work and getting ready to leave. David came up behind me, and hugged me in a spooning way. His arms wrapped around me and cupped my breasts. He said, “yum… no bra!” And i smiled and said, “yes, of course, Sir”. He then moved his hands south and pulled up my dress and said, “no panties too! Perfect! Now go lay on the bed and get your reward”

And he proceeded to get me wet until i was allowed to orgasm….. (yes, i ask permission to orgasm every time too. Still.).

NAKED – i am still struggling with this. i am not sure i like it… but not sure i don’t. i have gotten used to being naked to sleep. But then when i awake, i want to put clothes on. i suspect some of it is “that’s what you are supposed to do.” But some of it is practicality, with our son at home … but also i get cold without clothes on!

Our son is a Junior in HS . So in another 2-years he will be off to college. Maybe by then, i will have embraced the nakedness and with him out of the house, do it all the time.

(Or maybe by then, my clit will have healed and i’ll have embraced chastity again and sport that around the house! Lol)

EXERCISE – well… chocolate still calls my name periodically and i have to tell her to sit down and shut up. And that’s hard. And Exercise still calls my name too, and i want to tell her to sit down and shut up. But i don’t. i walk 2-miles a day, most days. On days of bad weather, i don’t. But otherwise, that’s become the norm. i have lost 5 lbs, and i am happy with the progress. Hopefully it continues! i am thinking of getting a treadmill though because with the shorter/winter days starting to become a thing, i get scared to walk alone at night. And i am afraid this pattern (of walking and getting exercise) may end if i am not vigilant.

BJ – well, like i have said before, it is super hard to find 4-people who ALL like one another. So this started with promise, but looks to have faded. And unfortunately will likely die out. Maybe not enough sunshine, or water…. but the relationship grew and then suddenly the green-thumb turned brown. Makes me sad, but it isn’t entirely unexpected. If we ever find a couple that we are entirely compatible with, i will be thrilled. But i am highly skeptical too. So we will continue to just have periodic fun as it comes about.

ADDITIONAL FICTION STORIES– Probably coming soon. i was thinking of moving it to a website like Literotica though too. i realize that it is kinda an extension of me. It’s not real, and hasn’t ever been. Instead it is the things that go on in my head and start as a result of something that was real. Kinda like “x and y happened in real life. And then it got me to thinking that z would’ve been a nice next step.” So it sometimes gets confusing to me, and i think possibly some of you also. As in “what is real-real and what is not??”

SPANKING – and Discipline – and Maintenance – Because of my big deadline at work, David gave me a free pass on the Maintenance Friday sessions. We haven’t done it now for 3-weeks.

And i’ve been a good-girl and haven’t had to receive punishment in a long time now.

All very good! But as much as i’d tell you i am not a fan of the actual discipline, the knowledge of my place in our marriage and letting David be in control makes me very happy.

And when we aren’t doing as much discipline (like now), i can always tell when things are slipping “out of the ordinary” and needing to be “put back in place.” And we are about there.

So i may have to ask to be spanked soon, but i really HATE the actual discipline too. So it’s a double edged sword. i will likely insist on it on Friday. And i have no doubt, my bottom will end up quite sore from me insisting it happens and it is “appropriately intense.” But i truly think i am to the place that i NEED it.

i sometimes think needing to be spanked feels like an addiction… where at the moment, i am going through withdrawal and detox. And i don’t like it. So i crave the discipline. Chew on that for just a hot minute!!

That’s it!

That’s all i can think of for now. Anything i missed?

And i have been receiving more emails too, so i’ll probably continue to work my way through those in upcoming posts as well.

Hugs,

Marie

134 – Permission or Forgiveness?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 134 – Permission or Forgiveness?

Sometimes asking permission is better than asking forgiveness. And sometimes not. But most of the time, especially in my marriage, i think it is.

The phrase “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission,” has been used to justify some less than altruistic purposes over the years. But that was never the intention when Admiral Grace Hopper popularized the phrase in 1982. What she meant was that (sometimes) it is better to act decisively and apologize for it later, than to seek approval to act and risk delay, objections, etc. and if you read the quote (exactly) as it is above, you can easily see that she’s saying, “if it’s a GOOD idea….(THEN move forward).”

When Navy officer Hopper was quoted with these words, she was talking specifically about her work on computers during WWII. At the time, 99% of Americans (maybe all people worldwide) had never seen a computer, and likely most didn’t know what it would be used for even if they had seen one.

Because she knew she was in the military (government), probably the biggest red tape society that ever existed, asking permission may have been tantamount to nothing more than an exercise in learning patience and the zen practices of relaxation. For all the waiting…… AND waiting…she’d have to do if she asked permission for everything she wanted to do. So she decided to go for it and ask forgiveness later.

In my normal/daily/ boring life, and especially at work, i agree with Hopper. i think that taking calculated risks that are ultimately designed for the better, is a good thing! Much of the time, this is successful and other people appreciate the initiative taken by those that just went for it. And in those few times where it is not successful, you ask forgiveness and hope the non-success wasn’t too detrimental in the end and that the forgiveness is granted!

But in my marriage, it is FAR better to ask permission than forgiveness. Permission is zen and peaceful, whereas forgiveness is loud and painful (when the paddle collides with my rear end)!

So i recently asked for a spanking when i really kinda thought i didn’t need to or shouldn’t have to have one. While i thought my anger was justified, i knew i wasn’t full of submissive or respectful thoughts about and towards my husband. It was the anger and stress that i was feeling that caused me to think i needed to be spanked. If nothing else, i figures that the spanking would promote stress relief. So i asked permission to receive a spanking.

But that spanking did NOT happen, as i had expected!

David decided i did not need it. At all. While i wasn’t in a submissive mindset at the time, i handled the situation wayyyyyy better than i might would have in the past (Aka: pre-DD). For that alone, i was indeed acting submissive!

He respected that i asked for (permission) a spanking and admitted to my less-than-submissive thoughts too.

So by ASKING for a spanking…. and admitting my fault, he told me a spanking was simply not necessary.

He also said that if i had not admitted my stress or non-submissive mindset, or if i had actually yelled at him… i assuredly would have had a hard time sitting down after that.

So by asking permission and not just going for it to have to ask for forgiveness, my actions were positively rewarded!

He also explained that as he was talking to me about the problem at hand…….. the one he wanted me to call about…… the more annoyed he became at the Company. So that’s when he decided i would likely have “been nice” to them if i had talked to them directly so he decided to call himself and try to get it done directly.

He apologized for having wasted my time and for not telling me he decided to call himself. And all in all…. he recognized he was not in the right.

i was validated! And avoided punishment and got an apology. All because i held my temper and my tongue and was willing to submit to a spanking … if for no other reason than stress relief!

So see……submissiveness really works!

Of course, then the next day was a Friday so there’s the maintenance session(s) anyway! But still. i avoided TWO spankings for the week at least!

i think i’ll talk more about maintenance again soon. It’s just so hard to explain why i actually like it, and why it too is a good thing. But i’ll give it another try.

Hugs,

Marie

106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 7 Comments on 106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

More backstory…..About the Worst Spanking Everrrrr.

i heard your concern. And i truly love all of you for feeling comfortable enough to express yourself.

But i think maybe i need to share more with you about what led up to The Worst Spanking Everrrr too. Because context is everything and frankly, i just am not sure i have given you enough.

i always debate how much backstory to give, how much is enough or not enough. i always worry i will bore you (and me too!!) with all these unnecessary tedious details. So sometimes, and this may have been one of those times, some of the details are NOT unnecessary and NOT tedious …. so here goes…..

Did you happen to notice i didn’t give you a lot of info about our vacation? YES it went well. YES what i said was true. i just didn’t go into a lot of detail either……until now…..

Soooo while we stayed in someone else’s house and with our son there too, we knew the discipline would be nonexistent. And i also knew from prior experiences that while David TALKS a lot about keeping a list, tracking the transgressions, making amends upon return…. he almost never follows through.

And i knew it. So every time something happened on vacation that i didn’t like or agree with, i told him. Quite plainly. Quite intentionally. Quite literally….. to test him.

Ok, so that last bit….. testing him….. that was raw and it hurt to type it. i wish i hadn’t said some of the things i did while on vacation. And i was MUCH more bold at the start than at the end. But what’s done is done!

At the start of the week, i was bold and proud and stated what i wanted to in any way i wanted! And he would say, “watch it” and i said “ok”. And he’d say, “I mean it!” And i’d say, “Yes Sir.” But it didn’t deter me. Not really anyway.

This pattern of “edgy – not-so-submissive” attitude and behavior continued. i knew i was playing with fire, but like a fire…. i expected it would eventually flame out and by the time we were home, it would be nothing more than ash.

Since i haven’t given you even one example of what i’m talking about, let me give you one now….

And i was reminded of this particular one because of the word “fire”…….

The people’s home that we stayed in had an outdoor hot tub and fire pit next to one another. We went and got stuff to make s’mores. And i asked David to find out about how to start the fire pit (gas, logs, etc). But he didn’t. And the next day, i said, “we want to do this and you should see about asking today!” He (again) warned me to watch the tone. And i said, “ok.”

Later that day, he started the fire and told us. But our son and i were playing a board game at the time (that easily could have been paused!) and i just said, “ok, we will finish this first.”

And he said, “The fire will go out soon if you don’t get out here and do this.”

i responded, “well fine then!” (In a sarcastic tone). And we went outside.

Then after s’mores, he cleaned up all the remnants (wrappers, extra supplies), and put out the fire while we got in the hot tub. i don’t remember even thanking him, and being honest, i was wondering why he was taking the time to get water and douse the fire logs to put out the fire (100%). i thought it unnecessary since the fire pit was a brick/stand alone put and it seemed a waste of time. ………. (Never mind the fact that “IF” it was needed and NOT done, the whole house could’ve burned down! So the real risk was NOT putting out the entire fire, compared to taking a few trips to get cups of water to fully extinguish the flames.)

Just to put a bit of “good” in this post…. here’s a picture of the sunset view we had that night…. from the hot tub…… (isn’t it absolutely beautiful????)

Now i know that wasn’t such a “terrible” situation but it wasn’t anywhere near “great” either. i was sassy and showed no respect for David. Equally, i also didn’t even appreciate the fact that he not only asked (the homeowners) about the fire …. but he actually went and started it too! And then put it out. And then allowed me and our son to sit and relax in the hot tub too.

And after that attitude and behavior are repeated over and over …. all week long…… it adds up.

And again, i was more or less … testing him. But again, i didn’t figure the Fire would be even be a lit when we were home, so i gave no concern!

Like before, with my previous Post, i guess i haven’t still given you a bunch of examples or specifics. But like before too, i don’t know if all that is necessary or not. If you think it IS necessary to have those details, go ahead and ask!

Then when we were leaving the airport to head home in our vehicle, it seemed David was driving unnecessarily aggressive. i think he was just ready to be home. So i said, “we aren’t in a rush. You need to slow down. This is aggressive driving and not necessary.”

He just glared at me at me and said, “quite enough!”

So i didn’t exactly slip back to submissive ways upon arriving back home! And while what i observed about his driving was indeed true, i didn’t say it at all kind! And our son heard it too. So i didn’t set any sort of positive/good example either!

And just like that… We were home….. and no punishment happened.

It seemed i was right…. the fire had died and only the ash remained. As usual. Per always. No big deal.

There’s NO burn from just ash!

Except it was….. A big deal…..To Me! i didn’t think that’s how it should go. If he isn’t going to follow through, then why waste the breath to say the words? Why even start the fire?? And if you are, then just use that breath to blow it out right then and there!?!

Then you come to yesterday…….

i have told David in (a few) words here and there that i don’t want all the golf lessons. But not very directly or clearly.

i went out to the course with an attitude. i knew it when i got in the car! And it showed itself when i was warming up. And he warned me then.

If you remember, that was when he said he’d take me to the woods and spank me then and there. And i called his bluff. i knew he wouldn’t do it! And i told him so!

So when i blamed him on the course for me having a bad putt…. and he KNEW that i knew to watch the tone and attitude and he had ALREADY WARNED ME!

THAT was when he got angry. And THAT was when he took action. And THAT was when he told me to walk home.

Now ….. i feel like you need a bit of my backstory/thoughts on this too……

We have a LONG history of getting mad at one another and leaving/walking away. Instead of me just doing it (or him just doing it), this time he tested me. i had tested him for over a week and now he was testing me.

He wanted to see how stubborn i was going to be. OR would i submit. Would i actually listen!?!

Additionally, i asked him to help me get into shape and Exercise. And what he didn’t tell me was that he planned all along to quit playing golf longgggg before i was home and to pick me up. Because he wasn’t having any fun at that point either. But he didn’t tell me that…. because again, it was a test. For me. To see what level of difficulty or attitude he was really dealing with. But in the meantime, i would walk (a bit!) and get the exercise i would get anyway.

And when he picked me up, the part i didn’t tell you before…. because i truly never know what detail(s) are enough, too much, just right……

i didn’t jump in the car immediately. He drove beside me and stopped. And i kept walking. He moved up and stopped. And that’s when he said, “Are you getting in?”

And i gave the biggest smart ass answer of all. i said, “i dunno. You haven’t given me permission to get in!”

That’s when he got Reallyyyyy angry. He said, “get in the car now or you will be walking all the way home!”

But it took my own self-talk of, “don’t be stubborn. Just get in the damn car!” To actually get me in the car. So i did.

By the time we got home…. ALL of these things had piled up between us. And neither of us had to speak because we both were angry. We both knew that the way i have been acting is inappropriate.

The fire was NOT just ash… it was flaming high! And my bottom was about to touch it!

He has NO problem listening to me speak …. when i do it in the right way. But the way i’ve been doing it poorly for 10-days now. Even i know, it wasn’t respectful or kind….. and most definitely not submissive!

So maybe that helps you to understand WHY i never saw any of this as extreme. It was overdue actually. It was necessary actions by him that were brought on by me.

SOMETIMES SUBMISSION HURTS.

Sometimes it is not so glamorous. And the pain is real. But submissiveness, in our house, isn’t JUST erotic and sexy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes… it’s not. And it isn’t just INSIDE our house either. But that’s how i’ve acted about it. That’s how i’ve treated it lately especially.

So sometimes, my mind needs a reset by causing my ass to be sore.

And that’s when submission can truly hurt! My ass is still sore but my attitude is infinitely better!

Even so…. i am OK! In fact, i’m better than ok!

And when i played with the Fire…. i got burned. A real butt-burner indeed!

Hugs,

Marie

105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 17 Comments on 105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

i now know the intensity to which Sir can swing the paddle!

i did not realize how much i have underestimated his commitment to enforcing the lifestyle we have with him being (truly) in control. Until today.

And that makes you ask, “what happened?” Ok, i’ll tell you how i got here….. “here” being sitting ever-so-cautiously on my ever-so-reddened-and-already-bruised-ass! (It hurts SO bad just sitting right now! It is throbbing and i am SO very aware of it with every breath!)

(NO, that photo is NOT me…. but it probably should have been. And it almost was. And my ass is currently redder than that one is too!)

A little bit of backstory……

When we met, he taught me how to play golf. That was almost 25-years ago. He always has been and always will be better than i am. We both know this, and it’s all good and we regularly play together.

Because he taught me to play, he continues to “teach” me ……all the time…. and i don’t accept it (anymore) as graciously as i should or used to. Oh sometimes i like it even now, and i used to always like it… back when i still endeavored to play better. But now, i am to the place that i have a good “enough” game that i know i can play with anyone, so i can just want to go have fun!

So with the “help” that Sir (continually) offers, i feel like every decision i make… club choice, stance, target, alignment, swing, follow through, and …..my attitude…. is under a microscope and all of this takes the fun out of it. Again, at this point in my life and skill set, i just go out to have fun and enjoy the friendship with Sir and others we play with too. And i truly don’t care about improving.

i have considered quitting the game altogether, but i keep thinking i will find a way to tell him, “i just want to have FUN! Please Sir talk about something – anything – except for how to improve my game.” If i could do that, i would still be able to go out to enjoy the game and time together with my Sir. But i continue to fail in this endeavor.

And today’s failure was epic!

We went out this morning and were playing with some friends. This is all good.. so far anyway.

When we were still warming up, he offered some “help,” and i said, “i got this.” And i guess i said it too aggressively or annoyed or something because he came back at me and said, “Don’t test me! You know you are to submit! If you don’t, I won’t hesitate to take you in the woods and use my belt on your ass!”

i said, “Yes Sir” out loud…..

But THEN a minute later i added, “While i heard what you said, i truly don’t think you’d do that. You aren’t going to embarrass either of us in front of all these people or make an awkward moment for our friends.”

And he asked me, “Are you testing me?”

To which in my head, i thought, “Indeed i am! i truly don’t think you’d do any of that! So why even say things we both know aren’t true or really EVER going to happen!?!??”………

But out of my mouth, i said, “No Sir.” (i do keep my mouth shut sometimes! But not often! Lol)

And with that, we were off to the first hole. Then it was on the 3rd hole, is when the real problem occurred!

i was about to putt when he said, “It’s uphill.” (Meaning, hit it a bit harder.) And i thought, “Ignore it. Just have fun.”

But that’s when i slammed the putt and sent the ball wayyyyyyyyyy past the hole. That’s when i looked at him and said, “Yes, i knew it was uphill.” And while the rest of our group heckled me for hitting the ball into another state, David was angry.

As we got back into our cart, he said, “Do not EVER speak to me that way again. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for!”

To which i responded, “Yes Sir.”

And while i was silent then on, it went downhill from there. A few holes later, after we had sat in complete silence…..he said, “You need to walk home. Now!”

So while i was COMPLETELY angry and did NOT think this was necessary…. i did as i was told. i reallyyyyyyyy wanted to tell him that this was extreme and uncalled for. But i didn’t. i didn’t say a word at all actually, and got out of the cart and started walking. It was probably a 1/2 mile back to the clubhouse, and we live 6-miles from the club too. i did NOT want to do this but i also knew i had to! And i decided that by the time i would be home, not only would i get my steps in for the day, but i would have worked out this anger too.

When i was gone about 5-minutes (not long), Sir texted me and said, “Do not EVER blame me again for something you did!”

Well…….. i knew i should’ve simply said, “Yes Sir” and left it alone. But i didn’t (🤭). Instead, i said, “i heard you the first time and i said ‘Yes Sir’ then and i was silent afterward. And then you tell me to walk home.” (Yeah… i know…. not smart!)

He wrote, “Yes I did! And do you have an issue with that?”

Again, the right answer would be, “No Sir” and be done… but nah…. that’s not my style….. sooooooo….. i wrote……

“YES i do! i did as i was told, yet, you are still mad and taking it out on me!”

And he wrote, “So you are refusing to submit?”

i wrote back, “So i AM doing as told, and i AM walking home. But YES, i do have an issue with it!”

And that’s when i just “had to add”……

“and when i pass out on the road – you have only yourself to blame!”

Yeah, i know…. i was COMPLETELY out of line…. but hey…. go big or go home…. oh, wait, i WAS going home! 🤣🤣🤣

And we texted no more.

i probably walked a mile from the course when he pulled up beside me. And i got in and we drove home in complete silence. (i was pretty grateful when drove up because i was pretty concerned if i’d be able to walk ALL the way home without bodily damage… aka: blisters, heat stroke, severe aches/pains. There IS a reason i want to Exercise… but three days in, i’m NOT in good shape…, yet!)

When we pulled in the driveway, he said, “Go inside and Assume The Position Immediately.”

And i did as i was told. Still in complete silence.

He came in and picked up the paddle and wasted NO time in getting to the point.

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

Three in a row. NO warm up AT ALL! All with such intensity that i was already cringing and moving around.

WHACK!

WHACK!

Five before he said a word! He asked me, “what makes you think that you only have to submit to me inside our home? “

WHACK!

“Why do you regularly test me and my authority when we leave home??”

WHACK!

“Do you think you are in charge and can only submit when YOU want to?”

WHACK!

Eight in. He never let up long enough for me to respond, so i wasn’t sure if i should try. But i was hyperventilating and felt the tears welling up. He has never hit with such intensity before. i was in shock and surprise.

While we DO have safe words and i debated using it today, i KNEW i HAD to accept this punishment in all that he would administer. So i know now that i will NEVER use those safe words. i don’t need to. i AM already safe. i trust Sir implicitly. i know he will give me what i need and deserve. i also know he will never abuse the power we have both agreed belongs to him. And i will always submit to everything he gives me!

WHACK!

When will it be over? Should i speak now? We’re all those questions rhetorical? We both know the answers already anyway!

WHACK!

Ten. Maybe that’s all.

He said, “Do you know who is in charge?”

This time, i did respond, “Yes Sir. You are.”

“Do you intend to submit 100% of the time from now on?”

“Yes Sir.”

WHACK!

Crap… more. i can barely breath or talk and the tears are in my eyes. How many more??

That’s when he stood me up and hugged me for a good long time….. fully until i was able to breathe again and completely calm. Then he said, “we are done. But you’ll do better in the future. Correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

And i put my head down and walked to the bathroom to shower and truly/completely recover.

That’s when i thought it was over…… And i was wrong!

He came in about 5-minutes later. i was still in the shower yet. And he said, “I didn’t get the impression you were truly remorseful. We may need to start all over.”

And he left.

That was confusing. Now what? Do i re-Assume The Position or not? Please no! My ass stings so badly and the shower water feels like it is spanking me too as i clean it!

But i got out of the shower, went to him, and said, “i am remorseful, but if you don’t think i have acted so, i will submit to a repeat session.”

And he looked me square in the eye and said, “I think we do! Let’s go! Right NOW!”

And he followed me in the bedroom. And we repeated it!

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

And just like that… the hyperventilating and tears returned.

After FIVE more and no pause or words in between, he said, “why did you slink off to the shower? You didn’t seem remorseful but rather still angry. Inappropriate!”

As i was trying to breathe, unsure if another lick was about to fall, and trying to compose myself and thoughts enough to speak…. i said, “i was feeling surprised, humiliated, and trying to stay out of more trouble by just keeping my head down.”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO is in control?”

“You are Sir!”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO?”

“You Sir. i’m so sorry Sir.”

WHACK!

“Say it again!”

“You are in control Sir and i am sorry Sir.”

Breathe….. prepare for another…. it isn’t coming…. he isn’t speaking….. wait….. breathe slower…. get a grip…..no more are falling, i think maybe it’s over….. this is a long pause….. i am nervous. But i WILL SUBMIT and simply wait!

He stood me up and looked at me.

i looked him in the eye and said, “i am sorry Sir. Thank you for the discipline and your leadership.”

He then said, “I now believe you are remorseful. Why didn’t you apologize the first time?”

“i was embarrassed. And surprised at your intensity. And at your commitment to being in charge. And i wasn’t sure how to respond exactly.”

“In the future, you look me in the eye and you thank me. You don’t slink off or put your head down. Or else we will repeat the punishment again and again until you do.”

“Yes Sir. i love you Sir.”

And he hugged me, and said, “I love you too!”

And it was (finally) over.

And now my ass is more sore than it has EVER been. It hurts to walk, sit, or stand. It is bruised. And it’s no wonder, with 24 very hard and fast whacks in a span of about 20-minutes.

i have NO doubt it will hurt still tomorrow too!

But… it’s over. And it’s ok. i am OK!

i actually respect him more. He is indeed in control. And i have NO doubt he will do what it takes to ensure order remains inside AND out of our house too!

Final words….. so while i names this post “worst spanking ever”…. ,Anne it was the “BEST spanking ever” because we had a break through. A lot changed today….namely: my perspective. And appreciation. And respect. For David. My Sir.

If i had any doubt before, i have NO doubt now……. he is indeed my Sir. And i will always very happily submit to him!

Final (final) words…. to DOMINANTS…… while i can’t speak for all submissives, it is my opinion that we respect you MORE for taking control and doing what needs to be done. Instead of giving a pass, letting something slide, or shying away from discipline altogether. Remember…. many of us, including me, asked you to implement this lifestyle. We know what we signed up for. Please do! Embrace it. Go all in!

And that’s how i feel…. more respect now than ever…. at least until the next time i sit down. JJ. Lol.

Hugs,

Marie

92 – Spankings hurt! Always!

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Yesterday i told you about how it feels to be in chastity and i was going to tell you about how pierced nipples feel today…. but as luck would have it, i landed myself in a punishment position so i am choosing to tell you about spankings today instead since it is quite ripe on my rear and in my brain too!

So today, i chose to talk about……

How does it feel…. to be spanked.

TODAY….

So because i got spanked just a few raw minutes ago, i am keenly aware of exactly how it feels and how to describe it with complete accuracy. But first i have to give you some background as to what happened to cause this….

i had to go to the dentist. Unlike many people, i am not at all afraid of the dentist, so this was a non-event for me. And…. my sister needed a new bed and our fav furniture store is on the way to the dentist. So i asked her if she wanted to go early enough, i’d shop with her and then i’d continue on to the dentist afterward. She agreed. (And i told David, and he was all good too). And we were off.

While there, i decided to walk around myself, which is when i spied a couch set i really liked. i had previously told David i thought ours were wearing out and maybe we could start looking for new ones so when i found a set i liked, i texted him pictures and info.

Well… then the time came to leave to head on to the dentist and i did. It seemed though that David was onboard with me buying this couch set and i was super excited. i didn’t actually buy it because we were still talking about it when i had to leave, but we both knew i would be driving right back by it on the return trip anyway.

But being excited, i was a distracted driver. And as such, i was driving along a road with many stop lights… and i didn’t even see the light…. so i absolutely did NOT see it was SUPER RED either! Until i was in the middle of the intersection and running that light as if it wasn’t even there!

It was ONLY by the Grace of God that the other drivers from the opposite direction saw me coming and stopped. While i was NOT in an accident, i was so very upset! i was shaking and my heart was racing and i thought i was even possibly going to throw up!

And i told David all about it. He was NOT happy about my lack of attention and being distracted. He was, of course, happy i was not in a second accident in less than ONE MONTH…..but still… that was only a small positive in an otherwise bad situation.

And he told me to go …….. Assume The Position.

HOW DOES IT FEEL…….

PHYSICAL: Unlike the chastity that does not hurt… spankings do!

At least, they should. And David does a great job of ensuring they do! The main purpose of them is to hurt the backside of my rear end. To prove a point. To reinforce the positive and punish the negative. It is a consequence that should NOT be desirable and should be painful as a result.

i assumed the position. Naked, bent over the bed, feet on the floor, and solid wooden paddle placed in the small of my back. And i wait.

MENTAL: Sir typically comes in about 5-10 minutes, and today he did as well. During that time, i pray. Today, i prayed, “Lord, give me the strength to accept this punishment with grace. The punishment that i know i have earned and deserve. i know you have given David the ability to lead our family well, and that i am to follow his leadership as his submissive wife. And i know that today, his leadership results in a spanking. Guide his hand and his mind throughout so he has the strength to discipline me in the way that leads to a better decisions on my part. Thank you Lord for keeping me safe from my own distraction in the car earlier, but also thank you for keeping me safe in the knowledge that you are always in control. Thank you Lord.”

PHYSICAL: He came in and picked up the paddle. And i immediately cringe as i wait to feel the first smack against my bare ass. And it does. And it STINGS! Hard! The first one always seems the worst. It’s like i forget how intense that sting is.

The paddle covers a lot of land mass due to its shear size. So when it hits, it is firm and solid. While Sir typically moves around his swings to different landing spots, there’s a lot of spots that end up being smacked multiple times. But he does move up and down and left to right. He usually only hits the same spot two or maybe three times without moving, unless he’s feeling particularly and especially like the punishment needs to be severe, which is rare.

Today was one of those rare times. He hit 4-5 times in the same spot. And each and every one stung like nobody’s business!

Do you remember when we used to roll up a kitchen towel and pop each other with it? And you’d yelp as it stung really bad? Yes! That’s the best analogy of how it feels. Only that sting isn’t just one little spot with a spanking, but ALL-over-my-ass! And repeat…. and repeat!

i try to stay bent over the bed, but it is SO hard to stay in place as the swats come as the stinging becomes ever present and vivid in my backside too. So i tend to stand upright, kinda dance around, and end up squeezing my legs and ass tight. It doesn’t help, but it is a natural response. And often, Sir will put his free hand on my back and press me back down and into place, while sometimes even saying (quite calmly), “resume your position,” but never stopping the swats intensity or frequency. If he were to stop/slow down, we both know it would achieve what i (subconsciously) was hoping for: a reprieve.

MENTAL: i don’t ever ask for Sir to stop, slow down, move around, or anything else. Because i am NOT in control!

There’s a reason i am here. i agreed to submit and obey, and i haven’t done that. At the beginning of this spanking, i prayed that the Lord help me accept this discipline with GRACE. And that He guide Sir with strength in his arm and mind to give this punishment to me properly. So i trust that David will know when to stop. And he always does. So i need to too.

i do have “safe words”, being consistent with most D/s relationships of “yellow”… slow down as i am approaching my max, and “Red” … stop now, i can’t take anymore.

i have only ever used Yellow one time, and never used Red. David intentionally got me to yellow just one time, in a maintenance spanking, to see: 1) if he could trust me that i’d actually use it, and 2) what level would trigger it so he’d have a base of knowledge for future spankings too.

Why don’t i use them more? Because i love being submissive. i love David pushing me to do more than i thought possible. To allow David to be the leader of our family that God wants him to be. To accept discipline as a part of growing in becoming a better and completely submissive wife.

PHYSICAL: David doesn’t swing with a lot of force. If i were to guess, he probably doesn’t even use 50% of his total ability to swing the paddle most of the time. He doesn’t have to. The paddle does a lot of the work for him.

If it is a maintenance spanking, which we do every Friday morning — not because i’m in trouble but as a reminder of what is expected — the spanking starts with a warm-up period. These are a lot of small swats that are with VERY little force, but encourage blood flow to the backside and “warm up” before the real spanking starts. This results in less pain/stinging and typically also lessens the chances of bruising.

But today and like every punishment spanking, there’s no warm up. He just starts in with intensity and intention. He does this to allow the full sting to hit and register in my backside and my brain both.

i don’t have to count, but sometimes i do in my head. i didn’t today, but if i were to guess, it was around 30. And believe me, i felt every-single-one!

MENTAL: As Sir spanked my ass, he asked me questions, “why were you a distracted driver?” And “was this a good example to our son?” And “do you really understand what will happen to our insurance coverage if you are in another accident?” And “what is your primary responsibility when you are behind a wheel?” And, “Did you drive in a safe way today?” And ending with ….. “Did you deserve this discipline today?” And “Have you learned your lesson?”

And he expects answers. He doesn’t pause the paddle to let me speak. He just keeps swinging and expects me to talk. And i squeak out the answers, which aren’t really necessary as we all know the answers too….(you included!)

But after i answer, he says, “so if we both know the right answers, and you didn’t act the proper way, did you deserve this spanking and discipline?”

To which i merely responded with a simple, “Yes Sir”.

And he stopped.

PHYSICAL… AND a bit of MENTAL: At the end of maintenance spankings, while i am still in position, Sir typically puts his hand between my legs and spreads them wide. And he fingers my clit, my puss, and quite frequently also my ass until i orgasm. It is a treat that doesn’t always happen, but i cherish it when it does! It is a reward for having been good, a reminder that not all spankings are discipline for bad behavior and a great ending to a maintenance spanking.

But today wasn’t about maintenance or treats, it was straight up discipline and a punishment. And those never end in rewards! Instead, he did end by standing me up, put his arms around me in a big hug, leaned down and kissed me and said, “I love you. Will this happen again?”

i said, “Thank you Sir for the discipline. No Sir, it will not happen again. And i love you also.”

PHYSICAL: The repetitive nature of hitting the same spots creates an intense sting in my ass that lasts quite awhile after the smacks end for any spanking. It causes my ass to turn red and hot to the touch. It feels a lot like a sunburn or even a burn from touching a hot pan on the stove when he’s done.

And just like a sunburn, the sting lingers for awhile but typically only several hours. It doesn’t “hurt” to sit down afterward really, but like a sunburn, it is tender to the touch so i sit quite gingerly too.

And the next day, frequently, my ass is still tender and sometimes bruised. Depending on where the bruise is exactly, it can be hard to sit down for a few days while it heals. But more often than not, there’s not a “huge” bruise covering my entire ass but rather just a “specific” spot that bruises. And that spot is different every time, and i couldn’t tell you why a spot bruised or doesn’t as there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.

MENTAL: Those bruises only last 1-2 days though and are just reminders of what landed me in that place from the start anyway. And they are physical, and NOT mental! It is a reminder to make better choices in the future, to avoid this outcome though too.

i do focus on trying to make better choices, but believe me when i tell you…. after the spanking is complete. So is the punishment. There are no lingering hatred, ill-will, bad feelings, or other negativity between us either way. We don’t bring it up again in “the next fight” (or spanking) either. It is gone and done. Forgiven. The ONLY time it is ever brought up again is if that bad-behavior is repetitive and occurs again.

Instead of ill-will, i actually APPRECIATE this discipline and way of correcting wrongs. If or today’s situation, i am grateful that THIS is ALL that has come of my bad choice to be distracted about (possible) new furniture. And that it was a darn good thing that more harm didn’t befall me and my 2nd new car in just a few months!

[Oh.. and i didn’t stop on the way home to get new couches, but we may get them later this week instead now. Maybe. i had to come home instead to have discipline administered.]

So in the end, i do accept discipline and spankings that leave my ass stinging, red, hot, and sometimes bruised…. because in many cases it is a small price to pay and….

…….because i am called to be Submissive and Obedient.

Hugs,

Marie