A few Deep Thoughts on Spanking… the “just because” kind… or Maintenance… whatever you want to call it.
Whatever you call it, the gist is common and goes like this, “Because I like what you are doing, and I want it to continue, so I’m going to spank you to reinforce that behavior.”
i have to admit this entire concept has been a struggle for me. If i haven’t done anything WRONG, then WHY do i DESERVE a punishment? Shouldn’t you just punish the bad and reward the good?
And WHY have i struggled with this? Okay, so i see a cause/effect relationship between that goes like this: doing something wrong equals spankings. Doing what is expected equals NOT getting spankings.
But when there is NOTHING to spank for, but a spanking results, well, isn’t it then …….abuse? (That is a little word with a HUGE implication! Trust me, keep reading…)
i probably ought to tell you how i define “abuse”. Quite simply, i think it is “unwilling”. Unwilling to submit, unwilling to agree to be spanked (or any type of discipline), or un-desirable of what is happening…. but if it were to happen anyway…. that would equal abuse.
So how to reconcile all of this?!? Well today, i changed my attitude about this.
Let me back up just a tad and lay the ground work to tell you HOW i got to the place that resulted in this changed attitude…..
As of late, i’ve had a lottttt to do at work and its caused a lottttt of stress. Well, when i get stressed, i struggle to submit. In fact, i struggle to be anything but selfish. Generally, i don’t treat many people with respect, and certainly not David, to whom i have been married to for 18 years now.
Not that i intend to be “mean” to anyone really, especially David, but just like that phrase, “We take it out on the ones we love the most”, that’s basically what happens for me. Let me say that this behavior isn’t an out-an-out “bad girl and deserve a spanking right NOW” kind of struggle. Rather it’s more of a short, snappy, rude, and well, disrespectful responses. And as an aside, since beginning DD, i’ve actually been LESS rude and LESS inappropriate than it would’ve been before DD. But still.
So today, i knew i’d gone too far really. i knew that Sir was being kind to me and letting things slide because of this stress i’ve had. But, in a way, i’ve abused him (emotionally) by being so mean and so rude and so disrepectful!
Realistically, i knew the answer was to encourage Sir to administer a spanking. i told Sir how i think regular maintenance would be good. It would reinforce the good, discourage the bad….
And let’s face it… Maintenance keeps things running properly.
Even my A/C needs maintenance. It’s cheaper when the AC company comes and checks on it BEFORE it breaks. It also creates far fewer of the less-than-desirable hot house days (when it breaks, it would be miserable in Texas!).
So using that same analogy… but applying it to maintenance spankings….. it is far better to reinforce the positive, keep things on track before it has a chance to break, and far less miserable if the ‘bad behavior’ were to NOT happen and cause things would break.
Hence – maintenance is GOOD for my AC and for ME. 🙂
Sir didn’t disappoint. He prefers the paddle. So much so, we’ve never used the belt. i requested that he use the belt today. And it stung in **the** spot it hit. The end of it ‘snapped’ at my bottom and stung exactly where it hit. Unfortunately for me, Sir kept hitting in the exact-same-spot. So wow, did it really stink!
i debated if it would be out of line to ask Sir to move to a different spot. But since i already asked for maintenance AND the belt, i decided to keep my mouth shut at this third request in the midst of the spanking moment.
And sure enough, after he was done, he asked me how i felt. (Glad i didn’t open my mouth in the middle!). i said, “the maintenance was needed. i hope to have that happen regularly. And to the belt, when it hit over and over again in the exact same spot, it stung pretty good and was more painful than the paddle – but only in THAT spot. Whereas the paddle stings ALL over due to the all over coverage. If possible, in the future, if you could move around a bit more it would be better.”
To which he said, “First off, you are TELLING me how to administer spankings… and I don’t care for that! But second, you say ‘better’ if I move around. Better for WHO? YOU?” and he shook his finger at me and continued with “THAT is not your call either”.
But i bet the next time he uses the belt, he will move it around. 🙂
So to maintenance or not to maintenance is the question at hand? Well, assuming there is a “next time”….for maintenance… or with the belt…..but frankly, i hope there IS a next time. Because i don’t see this as “ABUSE” in any way because NOW i see the positive and i am willingly submitting to Sir. And i don’t want to ABUSE him either. His kindness is overwhelming and i shouldn’t have the ability to use it (to my advantage) to the point that it becomes a way to tip the power/ control in my favor… or inflict mental abuse on Sir.
So i’m pretty sure there will be a next time.
And TO MAINTENANCE is my verdict and final answer.
Hugs and Kisses ~