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47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Domestic Discipline, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Punishment, Spanking, Submission, Submissive Wife, Wife Spanking. No Comments on 47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Most days, submission is easy. Some days…. not so.

SUBMISSION – it isn’t a difficult concept really.

RULES = FOLLOWED = REWARDS

RULES = NOT FOLLOWED = PUNISHMENTS

And the rules i have, just really aren’t a big deal. i mean, David is fair and reasonable. And he doesn’t demand much. In fact, if i were in charge, i’d have more rules and require more compliance… but that would lead to bigger rewards and especially more punishment too!

But i think, in some sense anyway, because David is sooooo very reasonable, i probably use that to my advantage. i don’t exactly think this through mind you. It’s not like, i’m over here going, “Hey, let me take advantage of Sir to my benefit and get what i want under the guise of submission.” i’m NOT thinking that what-so-ever! But maybe, on some level, that may be kinda-sorta-what’s happening – i dunno?!?!?!

So what am i specifically rambling about?!? Okay – here’s the message of the day….

David had to go out of the country for work for almost a week. And where we was at, is/ was 7 hours ahead of me. i tend to get sexually wound-up in the evenings, which was in the middle of the night where he was. i have a “RULE OF SUBMISSION” to ask permission to masturbate and orgasm. But HOW can i do that when he’s sleeping?!

Okay, you probably know what happened…..

Y-E-S – okay, i did it! Without permission. Twice. Okay, so maybe once was a ‘oops, i should have asked’ but the second time…. no excuse, right? well…… i happen to agree. But i felt like i ‘needed‘ it. There are times when i feel like i just HAVE to cum….RIGHT….NOW. And i don’t know how to control that. And when i couldn’t ask… well… i just let things happen. uncontrollable.

And the day before David came home, i confessed. He said very little. When i asked about what he was thinking or why he hadn’t said anything, his response was, “There’s nothing I can do from here. And when I get home, I will deal with this. Until then, we will not discuss it.”

Yikes.

Okay, i deserve it.

When he got home… my ass was turned VERY RED. i got a spanking that hurt-like-hell. We do have yellow (slow down) and red (STOP) emergency words, but i have NEVER used either one and i have ZERO plans to EVER do so. i figure if i ever get close to that trouble, i will use it, but honestly, i deserve the punishment at the time i get it. Because, again, i don’t really get into trouble much and when i do get in trouble, David is very reasonable. And again, i’d be much more harsh than he is if i were in control.

He made me stand in the corner. Naked. And wait.

And wait.

And when he came to the bedroom, he said, “Assume the position”. Which means i stand with feet on the floor, hands on the bed, and ready to be spanked. i did.

He got the paddle out. i could hear it. i cringed. But he couldn’t see my face because he’s behind me. And yet, i’m accepting. i know this is going to hurt.

And he hits my ass about 10 x’s all over. Warm up. Already it hurts and this is JUST a warm up.

And then he pulls back and paused. i cringed more as i knew it was about to start.

S-M-A-C-K. WOW. It came hard.

Again, and again and again. And it happened so many times i lost count. He doesn’t make me count. But i do. Somewhere around 25 i lost complete count and had to focus on not saying yellow. i didn’t want to say that at all. i knew it was earned fair-and-square.

And finally, when tears were in my eyes, he stopped.

When he asked me if i was regretting my actions, i had to stop and think. i knew the right answer was ‘yes’ and in THIs moment i was…..but frankly, when i get horny and feel like i’m not in control of my emotions, i would do it again. And again. Without asking. So i told him that i want to be regretful, but i don’t know that i am.

David decided that if i can’t help myself, maybe i need to be helped.

There’s preventative and detective type of punishment. Detective is after the fact getting punished. And then there’s preventative, as in, can’t get in trouble if you aren’t in that position in the first place.

So …. David told me i need preventative help…..

And now we are investigating and looking into locking female chastity belts. i am equally excited and fearful of this.

But so far – the ones we’ve found are SO DAMN EXPENSIVE! (HOLY CRAP!!!).

Anyone use or wear or buy these? Any you’d recommend? That are effective AND price-conscious?!

46 – First spanking in 2020

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking. No Comments on 46 – First spanking in 2020

So it didn’t take me long! In our re-start of D/s, i wasted NO time in getting my backside set in pain.. in grand form.

Hindsight is 20/20. Get it?! HIND and the year is 2020? Okay, maybe a bad joke. But i liked it. lol.

So this happened yesterday. i got soooo mad at a client at work. And that was right before i came home, so the entire commute home i stewed about it. So when i got home, i was still mad.

When David asked me how my day was, i told him (calmly.. …mostly…… okay, maybe not at all calmly…. i tried!) about how mad i was at this client and why. That’s when he started giving me advice and suggestions for how to deal with the client and the situation. The only thing was, i didn’t want or need his advice. i only told him … (okay, i’ll admit it ….NOT so calmly) … because he asked.

i do recognize that David was only trying to help. But i didn’t want his help. And i let him know…. in a not-so-calm kind of way.

i raised my voice … in frustration really.. and said, “i know all that already. This client is unreasonable and there’s no solution. So stop trying to help. And of course i was standing in front of him when i said this, so i ended with “can i go now?” i wasn’t even sure if i needed to ask if i could go, but given how i got to that moment, it felt natural to say outloud to him.

That’s when he said, “Excuse me? T-H-A-T is inappropriate. I think you might need to have an attitude adjustment.”

i very calmly (yes, it was calm this time because i knew i’d gone over the edge at this point)….said, “might or definite?”

He said, “Definite. N-O-W. Go get undressed and prepare yourself. i have things to do and i’ll be there when i’m there” i knew he was mad. Rightfully so.

So i did as instructed. i didn’t argue. i knew i shouldn’t have used the tone i did. But i was just so mad and he sent me over the edge.. and i lost control of myself. You know how you ‘take it out on the ones you love most”?? Well, that’s what happened. i clearly couldn’t yell at my client, so i yelled at David. Inappropriately.

i went to our bedroom and prepared for the spanking. i got undressed. Completely. As required. i assumed the spank position, which is where i stand on the floor, feet shoulder-width apart, hands on the bed, face looking at the bed (and my hands), feet squarely on the floor.

He likes for me to keep my heels on the floor when getting spanked and NOT MOVE. Impossible. No-can-do. As much as i try, i’ve NEVER succeeded in this. And that gets me into even more trouble. i happen to think physics won’t allow it. i mean when you spank, you send the butt forward, which causes the heels to leave the floor. Am i right or wrong? If wrong, any suggestions for being successful with this?!? i’ll gladly listen!!

i waited.

i’m not sure how long, but it felt about 15 minutes. Maybe longer. It was definitely long enough to really think about my situation and how i treated Sir. How it should have gone. How it will now be properly corrected. And to make my legs and arms a bit stiff from being in position. But i know better than to move too.

He came in. He said, “Do you know why we are here?”

“Yes Sir. i disrespected you by yelling at you and taking my anger out on you when you were only trying to help.”

“So are you prepared to accept your punishment now?”
“Yes Sir, i am”.

And he pulled the paddle out of the drawer. i couldn’t see it, but i know where it’s kept and i definitely recognized the sound of the drawer opening and closing. The paddle is Sir’s favorite tool. It hurts. It is big enough that with just one swing it covers my entire ass, so every single swing is a complete and total sting to my complete butt. No escape even when he moves his aim. It’s all the same. Pain all over from the first to the last swing of the paddle.

And the first one came. (H-O-L-Y CRAPPPPP….. it’s been a LONG time since we’ve done this. And i forgot just how painful that paddle is. And i knew he was reserving his swing to warm me up, but probably also to do the same for himself since we both were out of practice. And my heels came off the floor. Of course.)

And the second one. (how many can i take today? and my heels came off the floor and i’m already doing a little dance. Unacceptable and i know it!)

That’s when he says, “We are trying something different. Follow me. Now”.

So he walks to the kitchen. David does all the cooking in our house. i found this really cool, custom made Lazy Susan for the table to give him for Christmas. He pulled it to the edge of the table. He said, “Rest your hands, palm down, on this Lazy Susan. If it moves, or if your hands come off of it, you’ll regret it and receive even more punishment.”

THAT was a sexy turn on for me. i absolutely LOVE it when he takes charge and tells me what to do.. even when i’m in trouble. i felt my pussy let out it’s juices.

i did as i was told.

And immediately, i felt the next swing of the paddle hit. And my hands moved the Lazy Susan. Sir said, “Oh that was bad.”

And then he peppered my ass with a bunch of swats over and over and over. And i was surprised at how fast they came and they were causing my ass to sting something fierce. It was on fire!

i wasn’t good about the Lazy Susan not moving OR the heels coming off the floor at all. So Sir said, “you are not doing well with my instructions. I’m going to make your ass pay for this.”

And he did. Over and over again.

i tried to keep count, but i failed. Sir doesn’t make me count out loud, but i do try to do it in my head as it gives me something to focus on. But he was going so fast and hard that i lost count in a hurry.

And not only that, my ass was burning so badly with every-single-swing of the big ass-covering sized paddle that it was all i could do to try to take it with grace.

i felt the tears well up. i’ve never cried. i don’t know if i felt tears because of how long it had been since i was in this position and out of shape, or if Sir was going extra hard for having gotten mad and making a point here, or maybe it was my own mind working to break my spirited self. No matter ‘why’ i suppose really.

But as soon as i felt the tears forming, Sir said, “we are done with this spanking.” And i stood up, and he hugged me and kissed me. Told me he was proud of me and i did as i always do, i said, “Thank you Sir for the discipline. Thank you for being my head of house and thank you for your love.”

To which i thought then all would be forgiven, but instead, Sir said, “We aren’t quite done with the discipline though.” THIS is new…

He took me to the food pantry – still very naked and with a VERY sore butt that was throbbing in high gear – and said, “Stick out your tongue.”

And he grabbed the hot sauce. i HATE HOT STUFF. And Sir knows it. He LOVES hot stuff. So he has multiple bottles of it with varying heat. Thankfully, he chose a low-level heat sauce. (i’m not so sure the next time will be with the low-heat hot sauce).

He opened the bottle, poured some into his hand, and said, “Lick my hand clean.”

i cringed. But i did it. And immediately felt my tongue go hot. And then i swallowed. HOLY CRAP the back of my throat is on FIRE now.

He said, “You received the spanking for the disrespect and anger you showed, but this is for the volume you used. Next time you should consider chosing your words and volume more carefully.”

i said very simply, “Yes Sir.”

And then i swallowed. And it burned even more. That fire was in my throat for about 30-minutes and the tears came back to my eyes.

That’s when he said, “All is forgiven now.”
To which i responded with a simple, “Thank you Sir”

And waited for the burn in my ass and on my throat to subside.

That’s when i went to get dressed. i was surprised to find that my nipples were erect and my pussy was very wet. i didn’t expect to find that much arousal from this, but i know i love David so much for the discipline he administers and for being the Head of my life that it does get me excited. So i suppose i wasn’t really surprised for being wet.. but rather at how wet i was. He didn’t touch me sexually. He doesn’t when it is true discipline and i’m glad for that because that just gets confusing then.

So even though my renewed D/s first week hasn’t gone toooooo swell for my tongue or my ass, i’m grateful for Sir’s leadership and reinstalled corrections. The rest of the night was without issue and all really was forgiven and forgotten, to which i’m grateful for as well. Pre D/s the first time or even in recent months, we would have been in a huge fight and it would have lasted hours. Not now. We have effective resolution management.

In case you are wondering, my ass is still a bit sore today and slightly bruised. And tomorrow is when we resume our weekly maintenance day. Oh-My.

Hugs,

Marie

45 – New and Old Rules.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 45 – New and Old Rules.

After David and i talked a LOT, we started talking about what rules (or not) that we would have (or not). We aren’t officially formal like with a contract like some DD relationships are, but i know what’s expected. (i knew before too, but chose not to do it!). So we reestablished some old rules and created some new ones too.

Some of the old rules that we reestablished are:

  • No bra. (i’d started wearing it again. i mean, why not?!?)
  • No taking a (warm/ relaxing) bath without permission. (Ugh…. ok)
  • Refer to Sir as Sir. (not a problem. i rather missed this one)
  • Wear a corset to shape my body (i’d completely stopped this one because sometimes corsets aren’t comfortable at all)
  • Show respect at all times (of course, i’d unintentionally reverted to pre-DD style – see last post for more info really)
  • And … you guessed it …. NO MASTURBATION WITHOUT PERMISSION. (okay, i mean, THIS is the one that got me in trouble and caused all the trouble, so i KNEW this one was coming back!)

i decided to ask Sir, “Can i ask Why? i mean, i could see if you said no sometimes. But you don’t. And before when i didn’t ask, it was because i didn’t really think you cared enough to ever say no anyway.”

His answer, “sometimes i want you to know that you are MINE. And when you have to ask to touch yourself, it is forcing you to give up YOU and recognize – and respect – ME, our marriage, and my authority.”

Okay – i should have just asked the first time and not assumed so much or acted the way i did. i admit it. Now. Wish i hadn’t wasted 4-months figuring this out. But i guess this time off hasn’t been terrible either. NO not the best months of our marriage, but it was good for me. Because while i thought i wanted a DD relationship before… NOW I KNOW I DO!

And NOW i know there is not EVER any going back. I LOVE THIS MAN and the way we do this life, marriage, and DD relationship!

SO – a few NEW rules too….

  • NO PANTIES. EVER. (well this one will be a new experience!)
  • NO Pajamas either. (He’s never liked my soft, cotton, Mom-style PJ’s… and this too will be a new experience).
  • Dresses should be worn when possible. (Not ‘required’, but preferred. Because now there will be easy access with no bra and no panties on!)
  • Maintenance Spankings. Every Friday. (We technically had a rule about these before, but now they going to have a protocol that includes corner time and will ALWAYS be made up if missed for any reason… like our son/ holidays/ sickness/ etc… so my rear will hurt every weekend now)
  • And the biggest new thing…. a locking Chastity Belt. (for enforcing the last old rule above – NO MASTURBATION WITHOUT PERMISSION.

THIS is currently on order, been shipped, and expected to arrive at our house sometime soon…….

Image result for female chastity

Now i wonder what you are thinking. i certainly know what i was thinking….. “WHOA, what’s this about? WHY?” And then we talked about it. i’m not going to be locked in it 24/7, but rather to be worn at times when i need to be reminded that masturbation and orgasms are NOT my decision. That’s when i’ll be made to wear it. And should i decide i need to do so, it is better to lock myself into it and/or ask for it prior to making an error in judgement (aka: masturbating without permission!) than to be found out afterward. This is much more desirable than to choosing disobedience for the rules Sir has laid out, and made very clear.

So when it arrives, i’ll wear it for awhile. Not sure how long that is, but he will put it on and lock me in it and he will have the key. The only key.

Thankfully it has holes in it so i can use the bathroom without too much trouble really, but that may be even better to keep me locked up even longer without anyone ever knowing. (i’ll keep you posted what i think after wearing it for a bit).

In the end after thinking about it for a couple of days now, i’m actually good with this. Honestly, i think this is a good compromise. It gives me the ability to be disciplined without Sir having to do much, but it could be used for orgasm control too. i think it could be a good solution to forcing me to ask permission to touch myself. And it will cause me to recognize the authority he has in my life and what i’ve voluntarily given up.

And just looking at it, i’m kinda turned on and ready to have a new adventure with this new ‘rule’… and bringing back the old rules already just feel like i’m sliding into an old glove that fits oh-so-well!

So now – back to our normal. The way we do things fits us well. And i’ll tell you about the two spankings i’ve already gotten — maintenance really – in my next posts. But not tonight… you’ll have to wait. i know the spanking types will come back for that! 🙂

Hugs,

Marie

43 – Spanking gone wrong. :(

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 43 – Spanking gone wrong. :(

So i haven’t been here since September 2019 and it is now JANUARY 2020! Mainly because Sir and i got into a HUGE fight … my fault…. and we stopped doing D/s and DD altogether…….

Life was good. Mostly. But not entirely.

In my humble opinion, Sir was being lazy. He kept threatening to discipline, for true or believed transgressions, and then never did. He’d say, “Tonight after our (15-year old) son is not within ear shot, you will be spanked.” And then, “Oh, I’m too tired. Maybe tomorrow.” And tomorrow he’d forget, not care, say something like, “I’m sure you’ll do better today and let’s forget about it.” Of course, his laziness led to my rebelliousness. i’m blaming him now for being the start of it, but like everything in life, there’s no real start or finish so maybe it was me that started it so maybe i’m to blame?!?!

So i was irritated and felt rebellious…. i decided what i did (or didn’t do) didn’t matter. As there are no ‘real’ consequences.

And i got out my vibrator and decided to make myself happy. And i did. i left it out in plain sight, on purpose, daring him to say something. And he did. i was actually happy he did, because he wasn’t ignoring me or the behavior.

He asked me, “Why is this out?”

i said, “Because i used it.”

He said, “Did you cum? Without permission?”

And i said, “Yes”

And he said, “Why? You know all you had to do was ask and I’d have said yes.”

i said, “Because i knew you’d say yes, so i decided it didn’t matter if i asked or not, so i just did it.”

That’s when he said, “you’ll have to be spanked tonight.” (here we go again….)

i rolled my eyes and said, “Ok”. and went about my business.

i was mad for multiply reasons:

1) i think my point is valid – if he’s ALWAYS going to say yes, WHY ask?! What’s the point? and

2) And furthermore, what are the odds of him ACTUALLY following through on a spanking …. none!

So …. i was irritated.

To my complete shock, about 3 hours later, while watching football (His FAVORITE!!!!), he said, “it’s time to get a spanking,” and he laughed and smiled. i honestly thought he was joking because it was football season, a weekend, and he was watching the game.

So i didn’t move but just said, “oh, okay.” (knowing this basically was daring him to do something, but honestly believing he wouldn’t!)

That’s when he got mad and said, “NOW!” and he stood up, grabbed me up off the couch, and basically pulled me into the bedroom when he then (in an angry voice) said, “I shouldn’t have to miss MY game to discipline you! Nor should I have to tell you twice to move! And I shouldn’t have to force you in here! Don’t make me do this again!”

i knew he was serious so i dropped my pants and laid across the bed. But i was SO mad. i was thinking, “WHY NOW? Over an orgasm?! Seriously?! What about the time i did (fill in the blank) and that didn’t matter?!?” But all this was just in my head. i didn’t say this out loud of course.

With no preamble, he grabbed the wooden paddle and swung. HARD. It HURT. and then again. There was NO warm up… it was a “get the job done so I can get back to my game” type of event. And with every swing, i got madder yet!

On the third swing i was VERY mad. i felt he was being unreasonable. And i decided this whole lifestyle was stupid. i was getting spanked for cumming. (SERIOUSLY!?!?)

So i stood up, looked at him and said, “I’M DONE!” and walked to the closet to put on clothes.

He followed me in there and said, “NO you are NOT done! Get out here and into position!”

And i basically yelled, “NO!” and walked out.

He threw the paddle down and said, “FINE! NO MORE ANYTHING! GET RID OF ALL THE SEX TOYS AND EVERY DISCIPLINE INSTRUMENTS TODAY! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE! BECAUSE SHORT OF ABUSE, I CAN’T MAKE YOU DO THIS!”

And i yelled, “FINE!”

and with that…. we haven’t spoken about any of it since……Until….. 2 days ago, when i texted him a simple message that said, “i miss spanking.” and he responded with, “Me too.”

i’ll tell you more about what’s happened in between then and now … in the next post.

Hugs,

Marie

37 – Moment of Truth – how it ended

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 37 – Moment of Truth – how it ended

So i decided you’ve been in suspense long enough… third post is the lucky charm and i’ll reveal what happened.

But first, let me summarize…..

  • i was suppose to wear a butt plug to sleep. After an hour, i took it out. i told the truth about it, but still, the damage was done.
  • AND – David was out of town – and we have a ‘no bra, outside of 8-5, Mon-Fri’, which i adhere to. Except i didn’t.

THEN – Sir went out of town for 4-days….

(If you want to know more specifics, read the previous two blog posts and you’ll get the full scoop!)

So that’s the current state of affairs. That’s the situation i was coming home to last night. Knowing that while i told the truth, and that did count for ‘something’ at least, it wasn’t with full submission and obedience from the start. (hence, having to admit the truth!).

i got home from work and David was already home. i greeted him and was glad to have him home from out of town. And i went to change out of work clothes. (i already had the bra off because it now comes off AT 5:00, in the car, on the way home!)

But i took off my work pants and grabbed for the shorts when i heard Sir say, “Come in here.” And i knew it was time.

So i left my pants off. i figured the rest of my clothes were coming off too. And i was right.

i cringed hard, but knew it was time to pay the price.

i sat on the bed and he said, “Do you think you deserve punishment?”

To which i readily admitted and said, “yes Sir”.

And he said, “Good, we are in agreement. While I’m happy you admitted the problems readily, there shouldn’t have been problems at all.”

To which I said, “i understand.”

And he said, “turn over”.

And i got into position. i took off the remaining clothes and positioned myself with my feet on the floor, bent over the bed, with my bed and arms tucked underneath my upper body.

And i felt him smack my ass hard with his hand. And he did it again, and again. My butt was feeling quite warm and stinging, but it wasn’t a ‘true hurt’ yet either. He kept going for several minutes. And then he stopped and said, “This is a nice rosy pink color now!”

At that point, he went to get the belt. i felt it smack against my ass and it stung. As he continued to reign down the belt on my ass and i was starting to anticipate the sting, he said, “I understand why you took the plug out but you still should have tried longer than you did. And as for the braless rule – while I know you don’t especially like it, I do! A LOT! And you need to learn to like it and embrace it too!”

i didn’t speak. While i can speak during spankings, it is not expected and i was starting to feel the burn in my ass, so i chose to focus on it instead. As the belt came down many times over, i was starting to get very warm in the butt.

And then he stopped. And he said, “Go get all your bras for me now.”

So i did.

And he said, “I’m going to be keeping these now. You’ll have to ask me for one if you want to wear one and if I feel like giving you one, I will. Otherwise, you will be braless.”

That’s when he said, “Back in position now.” And i laid back down with my ass in the air and arms and body on the bed.

And he took out the paddle. i got 10 very hard spanks with the paddle. After each one, i started to yelp in pain, squirm a lot, and pinch my butt tight in anticipation of the next one.

He said very calmly, “Legs apart and quit clinching.”

And so i did. And it went on.

After 10, he said, “Have you learned your lesson that you should follow orders more readily?”

And i merely said, “yes Sir”.

Then it was complete. He hugged and kissed on me and told me i was a good girl and all is forgiven. And that he loved me. And i know he does, as i love him also!

But now, this week – at home AND at work – i’ve been braless. He said no to bras for work this week. And i’m having to adjust and figure out how to wear clothes to (a conservative office!) for work and not be obvious about my behavior or my looks.

Someone reading this might say, “why does she agree to this?” And the ultimate answer is, “because i love my husband, i love how he is in control of our house, our marriage, and my life. And the fact that there are consequences to my actions is reasonable. It’s really how life works. Consequences for bad decisions, and rewards for good ones. And i accept that. Not to mention, when the punishment is over, so is the transgression. Everything is done and better. The slate wiped clean. So if you really wonder why i do this, i’d actually turn it around and ask you… why don’t YOU?

Hugs,

Marie