So i haven’t been here since September 2019 and it is now JANUARY 2020! Mainly because Sir and i got into a HUGE fight … my fault…. and we stopped doing D/s and DD altogether…….
Life was good. Mostly. But not entirely.
In my humble opinion, Sir was being lazy. He kept threatening to discipline, for true or believed transgressions, and then never did. He’d say, “Tonight after our (15-year old) son is not within ear shot, you will be spanked.” And then, “Oh, I’m too tired. Maybe tomorrow.” And tomorrow he’d forget, not care, say something like, “I’m sure you’ll do better today and let’s forget about it.” Of course, his laziness led to my rebelliousness. i’m blaming him now for being the start of it, but like everything in life, there’s no real start or finish so maybe it was me that started it so maybe i’m to blame?!?!
So i was irritated and felt rebellious…. i decided what i did (or didn’t do) didn’t matter. As there are no ‘real’ consequences.
And i got out my vibrator and decided to make myself happy. And i did. i left it out in plain sight, on purpose, daring him to say something. And he did. i was actually happy he did, because he wasn’t ignoring me or the behavior.
He asked me, “Why is this out?”
i said, “Because i used it.”
He said, “Did you cum? Without permission?”
And i said, “Yes”
And he said, “Why? You know all you had to do was ask and I’d have said yes.”
i said, “Because i knew you’d say yes, so i decided it didn’t matter if i asked or not, so i just did it.”
That’s when he said, “you’ll have to be spanked tonight.” (here we go again….)
i rolled my eyes and said, “Ok”. and went about my business.
i was mad for multiply reasons:
1) i think my point is valid – if he’s ALWAYS going to say yes, WHY ask?! What’s the point? and
2) And furthermore, what are the odds of him ACTUALLY following through on a spanking …. none!
So …. i was irritated.
To my complete shock, about 3 hours later, while watching football (His FAVORITE!!!!), he said, “it’s time to get a spanking,” and he laughed and smiled. i honestly thought he was joking because it was football season, a weekend, and he was watching the game.
So i didn’t move but just said, “oh, okay.” (knowing this basically was daring him to do something, but honestly believing he wouldn’t!)
That’s when he got mad and said, “NOW!” and he stood up, grabbed me up off the couch, and basically pulled me into the bedroom when he then (in an angry voice) said, “I shouldn’t have to miss MY game to discipline you! Nor should I have to tell you twice to move! And I shouldn’t have to force you in here! Don’t make me do this again!”
i knew he was serious so i dropped my pants and laid across the bed. But i was SO mad. i was thinking, “WHY NOW? Over an orgasm?! Seriously?! What about the time i did (fill in the blank) and that didn’t matter?!?” But all this was just in my head. i didn’t say this out loud of course.
With no preamble, he grabbed the wooden paddle and swung. HARD. It HURT. and then again. There was NO warm up… it was a “get the job done so I can get back to my game” type of event. And with every swing, i got madder yet!
On the third swing i was VERY mad. i felt he was being unreasonable. And i decided this whole lifestyle was stupid. i was getting spanked for cumming. (SERIOUSLY!?!?)
So i stood up, looked at him and said, “I’M DONE!” and walked to the closet to put on clothes.
He followed me in there and said, “NO you are NOT done! Get out here and into position!”
And i basically yelled, “NO!” and walked out.
He threw the paddle down and said, “FINE! NO MORE ANYTHING! GET RID OF ALL THE SEX TOYS AND EVERY DISCIPLINE INSTRUMENTS TODAY! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE! BECAUSE SHORT OF ABUSE, I CAN’T MAKE YOU DO THIS!”
And i yelled, “FINE!”
and with that…. we haven’t spoken about any of it since……Until….. 2 days ago, when i texted him a simple message that said, “i miss spanking.” and he responded with, “Me too.”
i’ll tell you more about what’s happened in between then and now … in the next post.