43 – Spanking gone wrong. :(

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So i haven’t been here since September 2019 and it is now JANUARY 2020! Mainly because Sir and i got into a HUGE fight … my fault…. and we stopped doing D/s and DD altogether…….

Life was good. Mostly. But not entirely.

In my humble opinion, Sir was being lazy. He kept threatening to discipline, for true or believed transgressions, and then never did. He’d say, “Tonight after our (15-year old) son is not within ear shot, you will be spanked.” And then, “Oh, I’m too tired. Maybe tomorrow.” And tomorrow he’d forget, not care, say something like, “I’m sure you’ll do better today and let’s forget about it.” Of course, his laziness led to my rebelliousness. i’m blaming him now for being the start of it, but like everything in life, there’s no real start or finish so maybe it was me that started it so maybe i’m to blame?!?!

So i was irritated and felt rebellious…. i decided what i did (or didn’t do) didn’t matter. As there are no ‘real’ consequences.

And i got out my vibrator and decided to make myself happy. And i did. i left it out in plain sight, on purpose, daring him to say something. And he did. i was actually happy he did, because he wasn’t ignoring me or the behavior.

He asked me, “Why is this out?”

i said, “Because i used it.”

He said, “Did you cum? Without permission?”

And i said, “Yes”

And he said, “Why? You know all you had to do was ask and I’d have said yes.”

i said, “Because i knew you’d say yes, so i decided it didn’t matter if i asked or not, so i just did it.”

That’s when he said, “you’ll have to be spanked tonight.” (here we go again….)

i rolled my eyes and said, “Ok”. and went about my business.

i was mad for multiply reasons:

1) i think my point is valid – if he’s ALWAYS going to say yes, WHY ask?! What’s the point? and

2) And furthermore, what are the odds of him ACTUALLY following through on a spanking …. none!

So …. i was irritated.

To my complete shock, about 3 hours later, while watching football (His FAVORITE!!!!), he said, “it’s time to get a spanking,” and he laughed and smiled. i honestly thought he was joking because it was football season, a weekend, and he was watching the game.

So i didn’t move but just said, “oh, okay.” (knowing this basically was daring him to do something, but honestly believing he wouldn’t!)

That’s when he got mad and said, “NOW!” and he stood up, grabbed me up off the couch, and basically pulled me into the bedroom when he then (in an angry voice) said, “I shouldn’t have to miss MY game to discipline you! Nor should I have to tell you twice to move! And I shouldn’t have to force you in here! Don’t make me do this again!”

i knew he was serious so i dropped my pants and laid across the bed. But i was SO mad. i was thinking, “WHY NOW? Over an orgasm?! Seriously?! What about the time i did (fill in the blank) and that didn’t matter?!?” But all this was just in my head. i didn’t say this out loud of course.

With no preamble, he grabbed the wooden paddle and swung. HARD. It HURT. and then again. There was NO warm up… it was a “get the job done so I can get back to my game” type of event. And with every swing, i got madder yet!

On the third swing i was VERY mad. i felt he was being unreasonable. And i decided this whole lifestyle was stupid. i was getting spanked for cumming. (SERIOUSLY!?!?)

So i stood up, looked at him and said, “I’M DONE!” and walked to the closet to put on clothes.

He followed me in there and said, “NO you are NOT done! Get out here and into position!”

And i basically yelled, “NO!” and walked out.


And i yelled, “FINE!”

and with that…. we haven’t spoken about any of it since……Until….. 2 days ago, when i texted him a simple message that said, “i miss spanking.” and he responded with, “Me too.”

i’ll tell you more about what’s happened in between then and now … in the next post.




  1. Good luck!! ♥
    I have a couple points to offer from my experience. Take them as you wish. 🙂 Being a full time sub is hard work!!!

    First, my Daddy’s style of domination is not through force and control, but based on His desire for me to want to please Him. We’ve been in a M/s relationship for a year and half. (We’ve always been M/s) In all this time He’s NEVER punished me. For a fair amount of time when we started living together 24/7 I felt like He wasn’t really a Dom and I could get away with anything. I opted to push Him a few times. There was one time I pushed too far. The punishment He gave was being ANGRY at me and pulling away. I ended up in tears and He had to put me back together I was so upset.

    Second, Daddy has told me a zillion times that if He ever needs to punish me, He won’t spank me because it’s an activity I enjoy. I don’t get to choose the punishment, when, where or how. As the Dom, it’s up to Him to decide those things.

    Lastly, I had a Dom prior to Daddy whose punishment was to tell me he would punish me when he was ready. He never specified what either. He told me it wasn’t up to me when or what. That was the punishment in and of itself. The anxiety of walking on egg shells being extra good to stay in his good graces. He knew for me, the worst punishment was keeping me waiting and worrying about it. He also knew that his disappointment in me was more than enough to set me straight. I’ve only been punished by a Dom once.

    A good thing to remember as a sub is that you can’t top from the bottom. That’s not being a sub!!! Obedience and respect are the hallmarks of submission. If you’re looking for what you can get away with and seeking punishment it’s more bratting behavior. Brats are a totally different beast than being submissive. I have a fair dose of both. I know of what I speak!!! Not all Doms are able or want to be Doms to brats. They require a totally different skill set and personality.

    I know I said that was my last point. Just one more, I promise. Since things are hard and you’ve taken time away from D/s and DD, I highly suggest that the two of you start from the beginning with negotiations, kink checklists, written rules and roles. They should be negotiable, but mostly set. You both need to be 100% clear about your expectations from each other and yourselves.

      • You’re very welcome. ♥ I’m glad that even a little resonates. I wish I had more guidance and wisdom from other subs coming my way when I was new in the lifestyle. Keep us posted on how things are going!!! ♥♥♥

  2. Wow. Thanks for sharing. I think sometimes it takes an incident like this for couples to understand what they are missing and what they truly enjoy. Consistency is so so important and it is up to the Dom to be consistent. Our weekly Maintenance Meetings are invaluable in ensuring both of us are behaving in ways that fulfill the relationship.

  3. Hmmm, I run across a spiral of negative on a rare calm morning that sees me stop by. “But wait” she says…. Let me wonder on to see how they handle this.

    Hope you have been well ma’am.

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