i now know the intensity to which Sir can swing the paddle!
i did not realize how much i have underestimated his commitment to enforcing the lifestyle we have with him being (truly) in control. Until today.
And that makes you ask, “what happened?” Ok, i’ll tell you how i got here….. “here” being sitting ever-so-cautiously on my ever-so-reddened-and-already-bruised-ass! (It hurts SO bad just sitting right now! It is throbbing and i am SO very aware of it with every breath!)
(NO, that photo is NOT me…. but it probably should have been. And it almost was. And my ass is currently redder than that one is too!)
A little bit of backstory……
When we met, he taught me how to play golf. That was almost 25-years ago. He always has been and always will be better than i am. We both know this, and it’s all good and we regularly play together.
Because he taught me to play, he continues to “teach” me ……all the time…. and i don’t accept it (anymore) as graciously as i should or used to. Oh sometimes i like it even now, and i used to always like it… back when i still endeavored to play better. But now, i am to the place that i have a good “enough” game that i know i can play with anyone, so i can just want to go have fun!
So with the “help” that Sir (continually) offers, i feel like every decision i make… club choice, stance, target, alignment, swing, follow through, and …..my attitude…. is under a microscope and all of this takes the fun out of it. Again, at this point in my life and skill set, i just go out to have fun and enjoy the friendship with Sir and others we play with too. And i truly don’t care about improving.
i have considered quitting the game altogether, but i keep thinking i will find a way to tell him, “i just want to have FUN! Please Sir talk about something – anything – except for how to improve my game.” If i could do that, i would still be able to go out to enjoy the game and time together with my Sir. But i continue to fail in this endeavor.
And today’s failure was epic!
We went out this morning and were playing with some friends. This is all good.. so far anyway.
When we were still warming up, he offered some “help,” and i said, “i got this.” And i guess i said it too aggressively or annoyed or something because he came back at me and said, “Don’t test me! You know you are to submit! If you don’t, I won’t hesitate to take you in the woods and use my belt on your ass!”
i said, “Yes Sir” out loud…..
But THEN a minute later i added, “While i heard what you said, i truly don’t think you’d do that. You aren’t going to embarrass either of us in front of all these people or make an awkward moment for our friends.”
And he asked me, “Are you testing me?”
To which in my head, i thought, “Indeed i am! i truly don’t think you’d do any of that! So why even say things we both know aren’t true or really EVER going to happen!?!??”………
But out of my mouth, i said, “No Sir.” (i do keep my mouth shut sometimes! But not often! Lol)
And with that, we were off to the first hole. Then it was on the 3rd hole, is when the real problem occurred!
i was about to putt when he said, “It’s uphill.” (Meaning, hit it a bit harder.) And i thought, “Ignore it. Just have fun.”
But that’s when i slammed the putt and sent the ball wayyyyyyyyyy past the hole. That’s when i looked at him and said, “Yes, i knew it was uphill.” And while the rest of our group heckled me for hitting the ball into another state, David was angry.
As we got back into our cart, he said, “Do not EVER speak to me that way again. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for!”
To which i responded, “Yes Sir.”
And while i was silent then on, it went downhill from there. A few holes later, after we had sat in complete silence…..he said, “You need to walk home. Now!”
So while i was COMPLETELY angry and did NOT think this was necessary…. i did as i was told. i reallyyyyyyyy wanted to tell him that this was extreme and uncalled for. But i didn’t. i didn’t say a word at all actually, and got out of the cart and started walking. It was probably a 1/2 mile back to the clubhouse, and we live 6-miles from the club too. i did NOT want to do this but i also knew i had to! And i decided that by the time i would be home, not only would i get my steps in for the day, but i would have worked out this anger too.
When i was gone about 5-minutes (not long), Sir texted me and said, “Do not EVER blame me again for something you did!”
Well…….. i knew i should’ve simply said, “Yes Sir” and left it alone. But i didn’t (🤭). Instead, i said, “i heard you the first time and i said ‘Yes Sir’ then and i was silent afterward. And then you tell me to walk home.” (Yeah… i know…. not smart!)
He wrote, “Yes I did! And do you have an issue with that?”
Again, the right answer would be, “No Sir” and be done… but nah…. that’s not my style….. sooooooo….. i wrote……
“YES i do! i did as i was told, yet, you are still mad and taking it out on me!”
And he wrote, “So you are refusing to submit?”
i wrote back, “So i AM doing as told, and i AM walking home. But YES, i do have an issue with it!”
And that’s when i just “had to add”……
“and when i pass out on the road – you have only yourself to blame!”
Yeah, i know…. i was COMPLETELY out of line…. but hey…. go big or go home…. oh, wait, i WAS going home! 🤣🤣🤣
And we texted no more.
i probably walked a mile from the course when he pulled up beside me. And i got in and we drove home in complete silence. (i was pretty grateful when drove up because i was pretty concerned if i’d be able to walk ALL the way home without bodily damage… aka: blisters, heat stroke, severe aches/pains. There IS a reason i want to Exercise… but three days in, i’m NOT in good shape…, yet!)
When we pulled in the driveway, he said, “Go inside and Assume The Position Immediately.”
And i did as i was told. Still in complete silence.
He came in and picked up the paddle and wasted NO time in getting to the point.
Three in a row. NO warm up AT ALL! All with such intensity that i was already cringing and moving around.
Five before he said a word! He asked me, “what makes you think that you only have to submit to me inside our home? “
“Why do you regularly test me and my authority when we leave home??”
“Do you think you are in charge and can only submit when YOU want to?”
Eight in. He never let up long enough for me to respond, so i wasn’t sure if i should try. But i was hyperventilating and felt the tears welling up. He has never hit with such intensity before. i was in shock and surprise.
While we DO have safe words and i debated using it today, i KNEW i HAD to accept this punishment in all that he would administer. So i know now that i will NEVER use those safe words. i don’t need to. i AM already safe. i trust Sir implicitly. i know he will give me what i need and deserve. i also know he will never abuse the power we have both agreed belongs to him. And i will always submit to everything he gives me!
When will it be over? Should i speak now? We’re all those questions rhetorical? We both know the answers already anyway!
Ten. Maybe that’s all.
He said, “Do you know who is in charge?”
This time, i did respond, “Yes Sir. You are.”
“Do you intend to submit 100% of the time from now on?”
Crap… more. i can barely breath or talk and the tears are in my eyes. How many more??
That’s when he stood me up and hugged me for a good long time….. fully until i was able to breathe again and completely calm. Then he said, “we are done. But you’ll do better in the future. Correct?”
And i put my head down and walked to the bathroom to shower and truly/completely recover.
That’s when i thought it was over…… And i was wrong!
He came in about 5-minutes later. i was still in the shower yet. And he said, “I didn’t get the impression you were truly remorseful. We may need to start all over.”
And he left.
That was confusing. Now what? Do i re-Assume The Position or not? Please no! My ass stings so badly and the shower water feels like it is spanking me too as i clean it!
But i got out of the shower, went to him, and said, “i am remorseful, but if you don’t think i have acted so, i will submit to a repeat session.”
And he looked me square in the eye and said, “I think we do! Let’s go! Right NOW!”
And he followed me in the bedroom. And we repeated it!
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
And just like that… the hyperventilating and tears returned.
After FIVE more and no pause or words in between, he said, “why did you slink off to the shower? You didn’t seem remorseful but rather still angry. Inappropriate!”
As i was trying to breathe, unsure if another lick was about to fall, and trying to compose myself and thoughts enough to speak…. i said, “i was feeling surprised, humiliated, and trying to stay out of more trouble by just keeping my head down.”
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
“WHO is in control?”
“You are Sir!”
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
“You Sir. i’m so sorry Sir.”
“Say it again!”
“You are in control Sir and i am sorry Sir.”
Breathe….. prepare for another…. it isn’t coming…. he isn’t speaking….. wait….. breathe slower…. get a grip…..no more are falling, i think maybe it’s over….. this is a long pause….. i am nervous. But i WILL SUBMIT and simply wait!
He stood me up and looked at me.
i looked him in the eye and said, “i am sorry Sir. Thank you for the discipline and your leadership.”
He then said, “I now believe you are remorseful. Why didn’t you apologize the first time?”
“i was embarrassed. And surprised at your intensity. And at your commitment to being in charge. And i wasn’t sure how to respond exactly.”
“In the future, you look me in the eye and you thank me. You don’t slink off or put your head down. Or else we will repeat the punishment again and again until you do.”
“Yes Sir. i love you Sir.”
And he hugged me, and said, “I love you too!”
And it was (finally) over.
And now my ass is more sore than it has EVER been. It hurts to walk, sit, or stand. It is bruised. And it’s no wonder, with 24 very hard and fast whacks in a span of about 20-minutes.
i have NO doubt it will hurt still tomorrow too!
But… it’s over. And it’s ok. i am OK!
i actually respect him more. He is indeed in control. And i have NO doubt he will do what it takes to ensure order remains inside AND out of our house too!
Final words….. so while i names this post “worst spanking ever”…. ,Anne it was the “BEST spanking ever” because we had a break through. A lot changed today….namely: my perspective. And appreciation. And respect. For David. My Sir.
If i had any doubt before, i have NO doubt now……. he is indeed my Sir. And i will always very happily submit to him!
Final (final) words…. to DOMINANTS…… while i can’t speak for all submissives, it is my opinion that we respect you MORE for taking control and doing what needs to be done. Instead of giving a pass, letting something slide, or shying away from discipline altogether. Remember…. many of us, including me, asked you to implement this lifestyle. We know what we signed up for. Please do! Embrace it. Go all in!
And that’s how i feel…. more respect now than ever…. at least until the next time i sit down. JJ. Lol.