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Tag: domestic discipline

149 – When Tone matters… or not!

Sometimes David says things to me in the form of a question, but it’s not at all intended that way. And sometimes he says things that sound like i actually have a say -so, but we both know it isn’t. And sometimes i call him out on it… in a Passive-Aggressive way.

Why do i call him out?…………..Because sometimes i can’t help but think, “Just say it. Just direct me. Quit giving me directives disguised as options.”

And today was one of those days. That he gave a question-directive and i called him out on it.

i told you about me texting him, requesting he be more dominant. He hasn’t done “much,” until this morning. So it probably wasn’t in my best interest to act this way today. But… alas, i did!

i was drinking coffee and playing on my phone when David said, “is it time to go edge?”

(Now he hasn’t asked/told me i had to edge in a long time now. So i was a bit taken back when he said this. And i was focused on coffee and still waking up…… so i said…… )

“No, i don’t think so.” And i kept drinking my coffee.

(Here’s the passive-aggressive part)

He said, “I think it IS time.”

i don’t think he saw, but i rolled my eyes at that moment. i did set my phone and coffee down and walked towards the bedroom. But i was annoyed for sure.

And i went to undress and lay on the bed, when he said, “You knew I was telling you to go do this.”

i said, “i suppose i did, but you did ask a question. It wasn’t a command, or said with much authority.”

(Okay, this wasn’t really passive-aggressive so much as just aggressive.)

He said, “My tone shouldn’t factor into your decision to listen to what I say. Correct?”

And i paused. (Yeah, probably shouldn’t have paused, but i was back to passive-aggressive).

When i spoke, i said one word, “Correct.”

That’s when he took action and said, “Assume the Position.” And he followed me to the bed, got out the paddle and it collided with my rear immediately. Multiple times and without warm up. As it did, i heard, “your tone needs to change. The sass needs to end. I’m really tired of it!”

(i did have sassiness. We both knew it. i was calling him out on his passive-aggressive ways with my passive AND aggressive ways.)

“Should my tone matter?”

No Sir.

“Will you follow my directive more quickly next time?”

Yes Sir.

And with several more BIG SWATS….. my ass was stinging!

Then i heard, “are you going to do better?”

Yes Sir.

And then he said, “Now turn over… and start to edge. Like i told you to do the first time.”

And i did. My rear was stinging so much it hurt to lay on it, but i wasn’t about to argue at ALL.

And i put the vibrator to my clit. It was a bit hard to be “in the mood,” when i had no interest in doing this. But i did it.

David proceeded to get dressed, including shoes and socks on, while watching – but ignoring – me. That’s when he leaned in and out two fingers in the front and two fingers in the back. It felt A-M-A-Z-I-N-G… especially after i had been edging for a good 10-minutes at that point. Because try as i had been, anytime you put a vibe on a clit for any length of time, and it WILL respond.

That’s when he moved his fingers in and out and said, “DO NOT even THINK about cumming!”

He did this for several more minutes and i was truly begging him to pleaseeeeeee let me cummmmmm.

And finally…. he did! i exploded all over his fingers in a magnificent way.

That’s when he said, “this will be the last time you get to cum when you haven’t listened and responded properly to my directive… whatever tone I use. Do you understand?”

Yes Sir, i do indeed understand.

[Careful what you wish – and ask – for!]

My Sir has truly shown me who is in control….. just like i knew i needed. i just hope i don’t have to endure much more of the spankings like this morning…. next time, i’ll try to keep my big ,outhitting shut!

That said though, while my rear end was tender for a bit today… every time i sat down, it ultimately made me happy.

Hugs,

Marie

148 – It takes a Strong Sir

…… to satisfy a needy sub.

Especially one who is having “sub frenzy” moments. (This would be a good time to have a Second Sir or Ma’am in real life!)

It took me a long time to even really understand what this meant or was about. Sub frenzy i mean. And admittedly, i am still not totally sure i get it.

Let me explain first what i think it is and then how i currently feel.

Most people define sub frenzy as (paraphrasing here) being so overzealous to be submissive that you do whatever it takes to get it, even to your own detriment. Most define it as relating to new subs and not experienced ones, because they are so eager to discover how to be submissive that they do everything at once.

i agree with that definition, except i don’t think it just pertains to new submissives but rather all submissives at some point. Kind of how the water ebbs and flows, i think so does this craving to be “more submissive.”

An experienced submissive knows what she likes, what works, what she wants to maintain. So when it’s lost (even in part), she yearns and strives to get it back. So she becomes obsessive about going after it, even (possibly) to her own detriment.

But an experienced submissive does this knowingly, whereas a new submissive does it unintentionally. The eagerness to submit but also the detriment part is what i am speaking of. i know what i am going after and i know the consequences too.

So …… i feel i am come down with a bad case of “sub frenzy.” Probably brought on from having been stressed at work, been “in control” there, and not had time to be the best submissive lately.

Lately, i have felt like i have been less submissive than i need to be or even than i should be. And i feel like David hasn’t held me accountable the way he should. i told you this a few days ago too.

And i told him too. This week. i told him.

After i went to work, i texted him. i find it so much easier to hide behind my phone, and that’s what i did this time too. (Not proud of that, but it is what it is. In some ways, and in my defense, i say, “at least i find a way to tell him in some way.” But yes, i should talk in person too. i tend to get embarrassed though and i sometimes wonder what he may say or how he may react, so it seems easier to do it from afar and via text. That’s probably another post too! Ok but that’s not for this one and now i need to get back to this one…..)

This is what i texted him……

Sir – I think you ought to consider doing a spanking discipline for “additional maintenance” (or reinforcing or reinstalling) every day for awhile.

And I don’t mean “lightly” either. If you decide to do this and at the time you carry it out, I want it to be hard enough that I regret these words.

I think I REALLY need to know & appreciate your power, strength and authority.

And i waited for an answer. He didn’t make me wait for long though.

He responded with two words… and an exclamation point:

I agree!

So that’s when i stared at my phone and thought, “oh geez. What have i gone and done now??!!?!”

i was already regretting these words. And it hadn’t even been 10-minutes!

And yet, i wasn’t! In SO many ways, i was NOT regretting this move and was wishing i had actually said these words in person. If it had been in person, i could’ve gone straight to the bedroom to Assume The Position at that very moment and be spanked right then!

See this is why i think i have a case of “Sub Frenzy.” i have done nothing wrong – officially anyway – that would warrant or deserve this. But i am craving it, needing it, and trying to make it happen. i need to feel his power and authority over me. No, i don’t need to be spanked, what i need is to be made to submit thoroughly. And if that comes best in the form of a spanking, then by all means… let’s do it! i try to be a good submissive wife intentionally anyway, but when i slip from this behavior, i want to to be put back in place. Again, THIS is what i would deem a “sub frenzy” mentality.

Just to be clear though, sub frenzy is NOT about me wanting to get myself hurt or hurting myself intentionally. i am not craving a sore bottom. i am craving his authority, attention, and him taking control.

When i came home and i was changing out of my work clothes, David came to the bedroom and saw me naked. He said, “perfect timing. Assume The Position. NOW.”

And he proceeded to spank my bottom. And while he did, he said things to me like, “Careful what you wish for. But then again, we both wish for you to be a good submissive. And to show more respect to me, your Sir.”

And i couldn’t have been more turned on! It was exactly as i needed! It was the most amazing sexy thing my man could do….. show me who was in control of me!

B-U-T …… then………. it stopped.

i wanted more. And more. And MORE!

THIS is me in sub frenzy. i want to submit so badly that i have to remember that i am NOT in control, by design. And that i have to trust his judgement. He stopped spanking on purpose at that moment. If i had my way, i would’ve (probably) been physically hurt. Which again, is sub frenzy as you strive to achieve the elusive “best submissive ever” title, even to your own detriment.

B-U-T….. tomorrow i’ll get another chance to be submissive …. and maybe to be spanked into it. And maybe not. At some point, the “natural submissive” in me will snap back into its place and this frenzy mentality will cease once again.

Oh – and then – i saw (remembered, noticed) that i had actually sent David TWO back-to-back posts that actually saw at the same time . The one above was the second post. The first one was………

Unless you think these beers in the frig – that have been there since last dec when we had that party are any good still – we should probably consider throwing them away.

(FYI … we buy beer for others, and we rarely drink it ourselves. We typically drink red wine.)

And after he received BOTH texts is when i had actually received the single response of, “I agree!”

So which one did Sir really respond and agree with?!?! 😂🤣🤔🤔🤔

Hugs,

Marie

147 – How to Start Domestic a Discipline Relationship

i get asked quite a bit…….

“how do you recommend we should start?”

i will answer as best i can, by telling you about our personal start. i think we probably started differently than most others have.

Ultimately though, no matter how you end up going about starting, in the words of Nike, “Just do it!”

Don’t over analyze the best or right okay to do it. Just like a race, when the gun goes off – you have to start running. But of course, most people have trained and prepared before they got to the starting line too.

So… on your marks…. Get set…….. and GO! !

Ok, fine… maybe you want (need!) more information than that. i’ll give it to you, but just know… in the end: START!

And with that…….

When i read about how others have started, many talk about how they started with the rules. Negotiated them out and drew up a contract. The contract lists out all the rules to be followed, the types of punishment to be given for infractions, and even the length of time the current contract is to be in effect. This is definitely one way to do it. And i can absolutely see the benefits. However, we didn’t do this. We have been doing Domestic Discipline (DD) now for 2-years and we have never had a contract.

The reason we have never had a contract has nothing to do with the legitimacy or beliefs of it though. We didn’t do it because we didn’t know what to set out as the rules we would use at the start of this.

If you know what you want the rules to be, then i happen to think a contract is absolutely the best way to start. Because that makes the commitment to do DD, the expectations and consequences, and the time frame all very legitimate and clearly stated.

Taking those concepts one at a time, i want to spend a minute endorsing a contract. Again, i think the key here is knowing what you want the rules to be though, and i’ll tell you about our way after this too and what we did when we didn’t know what rules to put in place.

To begin though, why is a contract even a good thing? Well, it is communication between you. Written at that. Just like a business contract, if it’s in writing, you can refer back to it, look for clarity, and like my sister says, “if it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen.” But when it IS in writing, it DID happen. So when you write out a contract and sign, all the parties are committed and agreeing to the arrangement, and knowledgeable about the expectations (and consequences) for success (and failure) to abide by the contract that is set in place.

Stop for a second and i want to add, a contract – whether written or verbal – even helps the Dom. He knows what he expects of her… and he knows that she knows too! And if she doesn’t follow the rules, there is clearly a transgression that must be dealt with. And you, the Dom, didn’t commit the wrong but you are charged with carrying out the correction. You don’t need to feel guilty, give second chances, or think anything more than, “there was a wrong, and I will set it back to right.” So written or oral, rules are good for both sides!

The rules though, in writing, gives the submissive something to look at and see. They don’t get to change on a whim for either of the Head of House (HoH) or his submissive. So no disagreements should arise from unexpected rules put in place or noncompliance of these non stated rules. But the time frame or length of the contract, i would say is even more important, especially when you first start.

The time frame says from this day to this day, this is how we will live. And i think this would likely be the best part of having a contract. There was one particular day that i got so mad that i decided we weren’t doing DD anymore, and screamed, refused the discipline, and walked off. We were in a massive fight and went into The Cold War (of sorts anyway) regarding DD, until the silence was finally broken and we reimplemented it. Had i had a time frame that, at least to start, i would know “this DD lifestyle will end, unless renegotiated and reinstated, on xx/xx date,” i might would’ve not acted the way i did. And instead, tried to be the best submissive possible for the duration, to truly KNOW if this is what i wanted (and needed). people seem to make this be 3- or 6-month increments. This is long enough to commit to this lifestyle, determine if it works, have time to find of these rules are the right ones….. and yet, not so long that if someone wants to change the rules or punishments, or even quit, that there is a time to do it. When the contract nears expiration, you sit down and renegotiate the terms and sign for another term. Especially when you start with DD, this can be especially helpful to know the end date, so you commit to the duration, but if you truly just hate it, it has an end date. But now you can say, “I tried” and truly know you did indeed do just that.

Since we have never had a contract, i have gleaned all that after reading other DD blogs and googling. You can also get ideas and examples of contracts this way too.

But again, that’s not how we did it. The primary reasons we never implemented a contract is because at the very start, i had NO idea what rules to implement! Or which would be good or bad, too much or too little, or ones we both would like or not.

So in my traditional fashion and lifestyle in general, i jumped in with both feet and said, “Let’s just do this!” ……. (ready, set, GO!).

The first thing that i did was to buy a wooden paddle from Amazon, the same one we still use. When it arrived, i said to David, “Let’s start here. Let’s start now.”

i proceeded to immediately go to the bedroom, got naked, and laid on the bed to wait for him. He came in soon after with the paddle and gave me the first ever spanking. It was a very weak paddling. We both knew it. But he had never done this and i had never felt it, so we eased into it from the start. At the time, i was disappointed. But looking back now, i happen to think this was the best way. It gave him an idea of what force to use to get what result. He quickly learned that at THAT level, not much happens. So he now had the base line to work u from there. And so did i.

While i was disappointed, it (the spanking) definitely still stung. But i had wanted and hoped it would H-U-R-T. i wanted to feel his strength, know he was in control, to not be able to sit for a week, to be made to submit, etc. (THAT is a sub frenzy mentality…. and i’m half done with a post on it , so that will be next post up!).

Even though i was disappointed, it already gave me the full taste of what it meant to be submissive. But actually more in the mental sense than the physical sense. Oh, i did know even that day that he had the ability to apply a firm(er) hand and it would most definitely hurt if he were to have gone further, i already knew then that He was in control, not me. He decided how much was enough, not me. He was to be respected and be the one with the “power,” and i was to yield to it. That single first spanking spoke more to my mind than my rear.

And that was how we then started developing, slowly/ one by one, the rules we wanted to implement. As we set them in place, we didn’t ever write them down or make a contract. By the time we got to the place where we knew what we would write down or have in that contract, the contract wasn’t really necessary.

The first rules we set in place were really very simple…… and went like this:

1) When disrespect is shown, punishment will ensue. Respect involves…… (this one is hard because it’s really a matter of opinion) speaking kindly and positively.

As another sign of respect, eventually we added that i am to call him Sir. While i kinda, sometimes said this already, he wanted it to be way more frequently than i was doing.

(In Tx where we live, Sir and Ma’am are used fairly regularly in daily life as a sign of respect. It isn’t just reserved for Dom/sub situations. For example, i say it to employees and clients at work, from a sign of respect. It is most often used when being told to do something. Like if a client says, “I need your firm to help me with xyz.” i might would respond with, “Yes Sir, we can do that.” It is typically on,y used upward in a chain of command, so that the person saying it recognizes the person it is being said to is the one in control and with authority. So i wouldn’t probably ever say it to my son, unless it was to be sarcastic and in a tone that would imply the “who is in control here anyway??” To which, my son would likely recognize that and say something of an apologetic nature and to yield authority back to me. For example, my son might say, “you need to buy me new pencils for school.” And i would resound, “OK, yes Sir!” And he would say, “I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”. Point is, Sir is an outward expression of respect and David wanted me to show and say it more frequently than i was.)

2) The very first rule though that i fully endorse is instituting safe words. If a submissive doesn’t have these, real damage – mentally or physically – can be done accidently or on purpose by the Dom. This is needed especially when being punished. The purpose is to be able to have a way to have things/the situation STOP if you are NOT consenting you it. You don’t need a reason to stop. Inserting, but you need a way to do it. This is it!

Most people employ a red light system. David assumes i am Green, all good to go, unless i call out another color. He knows that while i may not be happy about the situation i am in (and the pain i am feeling from being spanked), he also knows that mentally i am ok and accepting. And still consenting!

If, however, i call out “yellow,” it means i am feeling like we need to slow down. But i am still accepting. And lastly, if i call “Red,” whether stated or screamed, i need him to stop immediately. And he would. And every (good) Dom should and would also!

But every submissive should know this is to be used sparingly also! It is not to be overused, or used when not needed. NEVER cry-wolf …. ever. Remember: You have already agreed to this dynamic and you did do something to land you in this place….. but you are NOT allowing him to abuse you either.

This system allows me to control the ultimate outcome. It gives me piece of mind to know that if i ever feel as if i am in trouble, being abused… or just DON’T CONSENT ANYMORE, i have a way out. Which is why EVERY Dom should stop immediately if they hear “Red”. Or whatever safe word you chose.

i have only ever called out yellow once and never red. And it was a time that David was striving to get me there already anyway. So the first spanking established the low end of the range and this one that i called yellow was when he wanted to know what was my high.

From there, over time, we added things as we went along. We still to this day refine the rules often. If you know what you want them to be upfront, even if it is say for 3-months at a time, then by all means write out a contract. But for us, we were experimenting, exploring, and well…. novice. So we made it up as we went along.

Ultimately though, i would tell you to get started you need to do the following:

1) talk about it and agree to it…. written OR verbally. In order to get a general idea of what is expected of one another, and the consequences thereof.

2) decide if you want to make it up at the start or as you go along. This is kinda important because if the sub thinks she knows all the rules and the Dom throws a new one on her, it may not go well unless she already knew this may happen.

3) maybe consider a “practice spanking,” which is what i call our first one now. You don’t have to have a paddle… a hair brush, a wooden spoon, or a belt are all easy at-home-already implements to consider, but a hand works very well also!

And get started! As i said before………

Ready….Set…. GO!

Let me know your thoughts:

If you are a novice, did this help?

If you are experienced, would you add or subtract anything? If so, what?

Hugs,

Marie

146 – Got Spanked?

Welp, i was right. i just knew things weren’t quite as they should be between David & i lately.

i have been snippy and sassy lately. With words and facial expressions both. And he has been tolerant.

He knew i have not been as-submissive-as-i-ought-to-be. But all he did was raise an eyebrow or make a comment like, “watch it!” So he has issued warnings. But warnings are only good for so long and then you have to do something about it. Or else quit calling out the warnings because they are nothing more than idle threats at that point!

Warnings can be effective for awhile, but at some point, they are no longer a useful tool.

So i also say…. He has been lazy. Yes, that is me calling him out right now. While i didn’t do these things simply to test him, when he allows me to get away with regular and continual disrespect he is being lazy.

And i will add that this can lead to a bad never-ending circle of habits and behaviors on both sides. When i know there is nothing more than a warning coming, i tend to lose (some/temporary) respect for David. i tend to be so annoyed that i roll my eyes and think, “whatever! He won’t do anything. Why should i act better when it won’t matter anyway?”

i will circle back to this idea of how it makes me feel throughout this post too, but right now i will start with…

Why would a dominant be lazy?

Well, i don’t think my Sir intends to be lazy. Sometimes i doubt he even realizes he has been! But i think some of the lazy comes from:

1) Overthinking. Like all of us, sometimes we all get too far in our own heads, including our dominants too. i think he wonders if: a) he gave enough notice/warnings, b) he was in a bad mood and overreacted, c) i wasn’t aware of what i did because i was stressed. Etc etc.

i could come up with a lot of reasons why David may overthink discipline. And so he hesitates.

And so he delays the discipline.

2) Tired. Sometimes fatigue – physical and/or mental happens – even to our dominants. Sometimes we all just want “peace and quiet” and to do our own thing, including our dominant. And they probably think that we should just do the right thing anyway.

So he delays the discipline again.

3) Discipline can be a to-do item. Sometimes it is just another “I have to do (blank) today.” Which becomes a chore. this is sometimes how we both feel about Maintenance on Friday’s. We both know it’s good to do, but sometimes, it just feels like a to-do item.

And he doesn’t want to do that to-do, so he delays discipline even more.

4) Even as a to-do item, does it have to be done “right now”? An analogy comes to mind here ….. doing the dishes. You know you have to clean the dishes. But does it matter if it is right after dinner, before bed, or the next morning? Probably not. But it still does have to get done at some point. And if you don’t do it even the next morning, the next dinner meal comes around and the dishes are likely now still not done.

This causes clutter. Pots and pans are in the way and not allowing any place to cook the next meal, the pans are dirty so what can you cook in anyway, and when it is cooked what will you eat off of since the plates and forks are all dirty still too?

And so the discipline was delayed.. again!!

But at some point…. THE DISCIPLINE HAS TO GET DONE.

Just like the dishes, there can be excuses, call it a to-do, or a hope the submissive does the right thing…. but allowing it to continue is not acceptable. And a warning is now nothing more than an empty threat if the discipline isn’t carried out.

This now sets up a pattern of bad behavior. If the submissive has bad behavior, the dominant does nothing about it, the submissive will (probably – and definitely will in my case!) continue the bad behavior, the bad behavior may even get worse, and at some point…. everything and everyone explodes.

i happen to think this vicious circle is what lead to the (most recent) “Worst Spanking ever.” But this time, i decided to not let it go that far.

Instead of continuing this terrible cycle of bad behavior, i told David, “i have not acted right. i know you know it too. And i need you to spank me. It needs to be hard enough to create remorse on my part. And it should cause you to be put back in place as the HoH and me as your submissive wife.”

Now of course, that sounds like i was the one who took the high ground here and did the right thing. But… i didn’t have the courage to say these words aloud.

i texted David after i left for work!

He wrote back, “when you get home, you need to go assume the position.” [to be spanked…. naked, feet on the floor, bend over at the waist onto the bed, with the paddle resting in the small of my back.]

i simply responded with, “Yes Sir.”

When i got home though, our 16-yr old son was hungry, time for dinner, and other chores took priority. But the minute we ate, i immediately cleaned up the dishes. And announced to our son i was going to our bedroom. He said ok.

David came in almost 15-minutes later and praised me for not having to be reminded to assume the position, despite not having it happen immediately after work.

That was a very long 15 minutes to wait in that position too! My legs were stiff and my back started to hurt from not moving (much) to ensure the paddle didn’t fall from its place.

i typically pray during these times. i pray that God instills a submissive mindset in me, gives David the confidence to discipline as much as i need (not just the making i want… because the “want” is always less than the “need”!), and that i am strong enough to accept the discipline with grace and love in my heart (and mind) to create a change in me.

This day was no different.

And David did indeed spank me more than i wanted. And it did indeed created a change in me. i have been more respectful this last 4-days than i was in the previous 2-weeks.

It hurt! All spankings should! It is always a time that i should, and typically do, get to the mindset of, “why did i do (blank)? This could’ve been avoided. This hurts. This is way worse than what i did to get to this place!”

While many don’t agree with Domestic Discipline (DD), we do. It restores order and cleanliness to our lives. Like having a clean kitchen, it is pretty, neat, more appealing, and ready to be used again the next time out. This is what happens in our marriage when we regularly have DD working-as-intended.

So like cleaning the dishes restores order to the kitchen, DD does that for our marriage. With mutual respect, kindness, compassion, and love … Our marriage is stronger because of it. We both know who is the leader and who is the follower. And that was just as God planned it to be, with my Sir leading my family and me following. But the clutter just happens sometimes in a marriage the same as in a kitchen, with daily use. And like the kitchen dishes, the clutter has to be dealt with and cleaned up. Some marriages don’t ever clean up the clutter for not having a good way to do it, or laziness. We prefer to deal with our marital difficulties with DD. When it is administered, things are cleared up and put back in order.

So now our vicious (bad) cycle has been broken. For now anyway. As much as i wish it weren’t true, i have no doubt this day will come back around again. Because like the dishes, clutter in our marriage happens. But we will deal with it, and set things straight again.

But it does require no one to be (regularly or continually) lazy too. So if all it takes is for me to send a text that basically could’ve said, “please don’t be lazy. i need to know you are in charge and in control. i need to have you show me your strength and ability to lead me and our family everyday. And that means you have to do more than just call out idle threats and DO something. Please turn me over and spank me hard,” then i will do it every time!

To some, asking and accepting a spanking is a challenge. To others, giving a deserved spanking is a challenge. But it works. Every time.

i love my disciplined life!

Hugs,

Marie

144 – General Update on Me

i have had some deadlines at work prohibiting me to be here as much as i have been in recent months. But now most of that is behind me and i should be able to post more frequently again.

But i thought a general all-around update could be nice for those who wonder these things…..

COVID – has of course caused everyone anxiety and stress. And we are all dealing with it in our own ways.

Overall, i think i have mentally adjusted to the new-Normal. For us in Texas but also personally, that means masks worn in public places, and especially inside buildings. And always inside any building, unless eating and drinking. Stay reasonably and as far apart from others as possible. Don’t shake hands, or even fist/elbow bumps. Just don’t touch!

But other than that, our lives are “pretty much the way they were before covid.” So people asking about us going out – to dinner, to shop, to the movies, etc – my life is about the same as it was before.

i actually went to the movies just yesterday with my sister. We were the ONLY people in the theater. Literally. It was quite nice. i happen to think people are afraid of the germs (at say the theater) so they don’t go there. But that’s what makes it best for me…. when everyone else stays home, i get to go …. alone! No germs AND get popcorn too!

PIERCINGS – All of the piercings have healed quite nicely. The nipples are a tad sensitive when David gets too crazy pinching/pulling on them. But he’s aware of when that is and he stops. And the clit is the same really.

David says he likes putting his mouth on the jewelry and letting his tongue play with it. And i rather like letting him too! 🥰

i am about ready to go back to get the jewelry changed to something less about function and more about beauty. i am a bit afraid to change it out myself the first time, so i’ll go and watch them (and have them teach me) this first time. But now to pick out something that i deem “beautiful” too!

CHASTITY – hasn’t been done since before our Colorado summer vacation. i don’t want to do it now with the clit piercing. At least not for awhile. It fits so tightly, by design, i am afraid the clit piercing may get hurt, damaged, pull/pinch, etc. so i am intentionally not wanting it right now.

But i’m not really sure David ever much liked it anyway. He wanted me to control my urges to NOT play with myself without permission. And absent that, then fine, apply the chastity. But instead it was really me who wanted it. To help me control myself. i think David saw it as a crutch for myself. i think he wants me to want to submit…. voluntarily…. even if it’s hard. Whereas a chastity belt meant i had the ability to be (mentally) lazy and just rely on it. i feel i will need it again sometime, and i don’t think it was being lazy but rather helpful. So we shall see. But not for a bit until i absolutely know the clit is completely 100% healed.

BRA AND PANTIES– while i was given them back, i wear them sparingly. It isn’t a given that they just go on in the morning. i don’t have to report to David when i wear them, but he still more-or-less expects that they are worn when necessary – and definitely not around him.

i happen to think that this will just always be my norm. i have basically not worn a bra now for 16-months and panties for close to the same. And i am good with this!

It worked on my favor yesterday when i was dressing for work and getting ready to leave. David came up behind me, and hugged me in a spooning way. His arms wrapped around me and cupped my breasts. He said, “yum… no bra!” And i smiled and said, “yes, of course, Sir”. He then moved his hands south and pulled up my dress and said, “no panties too! Perfect! Now go lay on the bed and get your reward”

And he proceeded to get me wet until i was allowed to orgasm….. (yes, i ask permission to orgasm every time too. Still.).

NAKED – i am still struggling with this. i am not sure i like it… but not sure i don’t. i have gotten used to being naked to sleep. But then when i awake, i want to put clothes on. i suspect some of it is “that’s what you are supposed to do.” But some of it is practicality, with our son at home … but also i get cold without clothes on!

Our son is a Junior in HS . So in another 2-years he will be off to college. Maybe by then, i will have embraced the nakedness and with him out of the house, do it all the time.

(Or maybe by then, my clit will have healed and i’ll have embraced chastity again and sport that around the house! Lol)

EXERCISE – well… chocolate still calls my name periodically and i have to tell her to sit down and shut up. And that’s hard. And Exercise still calls my name too, and i want to tell her to sit down and shut up. But i don’t. i walk 2-miles a day, most days. On days of bad weather, i don’t. But otherwise, that’s become the norm. i have lost 5 lbs, and i am happy with the progress. Hopefully it continues! i am thinking of getting a treadmill though because with the shorter/winter days starting to become a thing, i get scared to walk alone at night. And i am afraid this pattern (of walking and getting exercise) may end if i am not vigilant.

BJ – well, like i have said before, it is super hard to find 4-people who ALL like one another. So this started with promise, but looks to have faded. And unfortunately will likely die out. Maybe not enough sunshine, or water…. but the relationship grew and then suddenly the green-thumb turned brown. Makes me sad, but it isn’t entirely unexpected. If we ever find a couple that we are entirely compatible with, i will be thrilled. But i am highly skeptical too. So we will continue to just have periodic fun as it comes about.

ADDITIONAL FICTION STORIES– Probably coming soon. i was thinking of moving it to a website like Literotica though too. i realize that it is kinda an extension of me. It’s not real, and hasn’t ever been. Instead it is the things that go on in my head and start as a result of something that was real. Kinda like “x and y happened in real life. And then it got me to thinking that z would’ve been a nice next step.” So it sometimes gets confusing to me, and i think possibly some of you also. As in “what is real-real and what is not??”

SPANKING – and Discipline – and Maintenance – Because of my big deadline at work, David gave me a free pass on the Maintenance Friday sessions. We haven’t done it now for 3-weeks.

And i’ve been a good-girl and haven’t had to receive punishment in a long time now.

All very good! But as much as i’d tell you i am not a fan of the actual discipline, the knowledge of my place in our marriage and letting David be in control makes me very happy.

And when we aren’t doing as much discipline (like now), i can always tell when things are slipping “out of the ordinary” and needing to be “put back in place.” And we are about there.

So i may have to ask to be spanked soon, but i really HATE the actual discipline too. So it’s a double edged sword. i will likely insist on it on Friday. And i have no doubt, my bottom will end up quite sore from me insisting it happens and it is “appropriately intense.” But i truly think i am to the place that i NEED it.

i sometimes think needing to be spanked feels like an addiction… where at the moment, i am going through withdrawal and detox. And i don’t like it. So i crave the discipline. Chew on that for just a hot minute!!

That’s it!

That’s all i can think of for now. Anything i missed?

And i have been receiving more emails too, so i’ll probably continue to work my way through those in upcoming posts as well.

Hugs,

Marie