So we are only just truly beginning this journey, but i feel inspired and excited and hopeful and turned on … all-the-time now.
And i wondered what that “first time” would be like… first time ….for spanking.
i wondered all sorts of things about it – would it hurt (i hoped so, but would i regret that ‘hope’ should it come to fruition), if it hurt how long, would i ask for more, would i cry, would i regret wanting this lifestyle afterward, would i have to find a way ‘out’ of it if i did regret it, what have i gotten myself into.. among the few anyway.
And that’s when it occurred to me that i was NOT being submissive with this thinking. God says “don’t worry” about anything … for any reason … anytime. And well, let’s be honest, i wasn’t ‘wondering’ about the spanking, but i was rather “WORRYING” about it and what it represented. And i asked for this life. And i needed to trust my husband AND God.
But thankfully i didn’t have to ‘wonder’ for long.
ACTING OUT: i did it on purpose. i was bad. My actions were intentional. i egged my husband (Sir David) on! i wanted him to react! If he didn’t react, i would’ve thought lesser of him. i would’ve thought he thought this whole thing was some sexual fantasy or maybe just a joke. i wanted a spanking!
SPANKING I GOT! David wasn’t mad. But he was stern. He ordered me to the bedroom. To strip naked. Feet on the floor. Hands on the bed. Hands only. No arms or head on the bed. Only hands. Feet/ legs spread apart.
He came. (not orgasm, literally walked into the room.)
my heart raced. my pussy got wet. i felt it drip. i wondered if he would notice. i figured he would.
He got the paddle out. i felt it pressed against my butt. my face cringed. i knew this was the moment. i said a prayer, “God, please let me endure whatever is about to happen. Please be with David as he administers this wanted and desired discipline. Be with us as we go into this new adventure. Please give me strength now and in the future to continue in the way you want. Help me be submissive”.
WOW! CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
1-SWAT. 2-SWAT. 3-SWAT.
It was amazing. Amazingly painful. And yet, amazingly wonderful. David told me to use my safe word (Tiger) if i needed it. i was determined, on the first spanking ever (!) to NOT use it. But then i started wondering if that was the right way to think. Was being that obstinate smart or stupid?, dominant or submissive? i really didn’t know.
But the fire quickly flaring on my ass made me focus. i quickly had to put everything out of my mind but to focus on the paddle.
“Do you know why you are here? ”
“Because I deliberately made you mad. I tested you.”
“Exactly. Was that smart?”
“So do you regret your actions?'”
“No SIR! i’m actually very happy that i did it. i needed to know you believe in me as your submissive. That you desire this relationship change that i’ve requested. That you are willing and able to administer the discipline i desire. i respect you more now that i know you can and will do this. i willingly submit!”
And then ….KISSES and HUGS. And reassurance of what a good submissive wife i am. That he was proud of me. And to expect discipline. It is now apart of our life and He likes it and the response it is eliciting. And i smiled. And said, “me too!”
NO doubt about it…. It was not easy. Every-single-one was delivered with force. Without warm-up. So for a first spanking, while i have nothing to compare it to, i felt this was amazing. My bottom was flaring red. And it stung.
And my fears were alleviated. My worry was for not. God knows his promises and he keeps them true… by having my husband be the Head of House & the head of me.
i’m excited about the future and the new marriage we are forging. We’ve been married for 17 years, and i wish i’d found this way of life long before now.
Until next time, janet