148 – It takes a Strong Sir

…… to satisfy a needy sub.

Especially one who is having “sub frenzy” moments. (This would be a good time to have a Second Sir or Ma’am in real life!)

It took me a long time to even really understand what this meant or was about. Sub frenzy i mean. And admittedly, i am still not totally sure i get it.

Let me explain first what i think it is and then how i currently feel.

Most people define sub frenzy as (paraphrasing here) being so overzealous to be submissive that you do whatever it takes to get it, even to your own detriment. Most define it as relating to new subs and not experienced ones, because they are so eager to discover how to be submissive that they do everything at once.

i agree with that definition, except i don’t think it just pertains to new submissives but rather all submissives at some point. Kind of how the water ebbs and flows, i think so does this craving to be “more submissive.”

An experienced submissive knows what she likes, what works, what she wants to maintain. So when it’s lost (even in part), she yearns and strives to get it back. So she becomes obsessive about going after it, even (possibly) to her own detriment.

But an experienced submissive does this knowingly, whereas a new submissive does it unintentionally. The eagerness to submit but also the detriment part is what i am speaking of. i know what i am going after and i know the consequences too.

So …… i feel i am come down with a bad case of “sub frenzy.” Probably brought on from having been stressed at work, been “in control” there, and not had time to be the best submissive lately.

Lately, i have felt like i have been less submissive than i need to be or even than i should be. And i feel like David hasn’t held me accountable the way he should. i told you this a few days ago too.

And i told him too. This week. i told him.

After i went to work, i texted him. i find it so much easier to hide behind my phone, and that’s what i did this time too. (Not proud of that, but it is what it is. In some ways, and in my defense, i say, “at least i find a way to tell him in some way.” But yes, i should talk in person too. i tend to get embarrassed though and i sometimes wonder what he may say or how he may react, so it seems easier to do it from afar and via text. That’s probably another post too! Ok but that’s not for this one and now i need to get back to this one…..)

This is what i texted him……

Sir – I think you ought to consider doing a spanking discipline for “additional maintenance” (or reinforcing or reinstalling) every day for awhile.

And I don’t mean “lightly” either. If you decide to do this and at the time you carry it out, I want it to be hard enough that I regret these words.

I think I REALLY need to know & appreciate your power, strength and authority.

And i waited for an answer. He didn’t make me wait for long though.

He responded with two words… and an exclamation point:

I agree!

So that’s when i stared at my phone and thought, “oh geez. What have i gone and done now??!!?!”

i was already regretting these words. And it hadn’t even been 10-minutes!

And yet, i wasn’t! In SO many ways, i was NOT regretting this move and was wishing i had actually said these words in person. If it had been in person, i could’ve gone straight to the bedroom to Assume The Position at that very moment and be spanked right then!

See this is why i think i have a case of “Sub Frenzy.” i have done nothing wrong – officially anyway – that would warrant or deserve this. But i am craving it, needing it, and trying to make it happen. i need to feel his power and authority over me. No, i don’t need to be spanked, what i need is to be made to submit thoroughly. And if that comes best in the form of a spanking, then by all means… let’s do it! i try to be a good submissive wife intentionally anyway, but when i slip from this behavior, i want to to be put back in place. Again, THIS is what i would deem a “sub frenzy” mentality.

Just to be clear though, sub frenzy is NOT about me wanting to get myself hurt or hurting myself intentionally. i am not craving a sore bottom. i am craving his authority, attention, and him taking control.

When i came home and i was changing out of my work clothes, David came to the bedroom and saw me naked. He said, “perfect timing. Assume The Position. NOW.”

And he proceeded to spank my bottom. And while he did, he said things to me like, “Careful what you wish for. But then again, we both wish for you to be a good submissive. And to show more respect to me, your Sir.”

And i couldn’t have been more turned on! It was exactly as i needed! It was the most amazing sexy thing my man could do….. show me who was in control of me!

B-U-T …… then………. it stopped.

i wanted more. And more. And MORE!

THIS is me in sub frenzy. i want to submit so badly that i have to remember that i am NOT in control, by design. And that i have to trust his judgement. He stopped spanking on purpose at that moment. If i had my way, i would’ve (probably) been physically hurt. Which again, is sub frenzy as you strive to achieve the elusive “best submissive ever” title, even to your own detriment.

B-U-T….. tomorrow i’ll get another chance to be submissive …. and maybe to be spanked into it. And maybe not. At some point, the “natural submissive” in me will snap back into its place and this frenzy mentality will cease once again.

Oh – and then – i saw (remembered, noticed) that i had actually sent David TWO back-to-back posts that actually saw at the same time . The one above was the second post. The first one was………

Unless you think these beers in the frig – that have been there since last dec when we had that party are any good still – we should probably consider throwing them away.

(FYI … we buy beer for others, and we rarely drink it ourselves. We typically drink red wine.)

And after he received BOTH texts is when i had actually received the single response of, “I agree!”

So which one did Sir really respond and agree with?!?! 😂🤣🤔🤔🤔




  1. I can so relate to this, Marie. I want and need my husband to dominate me and make me stay in line. We have so many unhealthy issues in our marriage right now, that I just deeply desire him to lead and make me soft under his lead. I want him to be in control, he says we are equals and cannot do this for me. But, I deeply desire for him to be the HOH in our home and I also want him to STOP denying me what is mine. That being said, we do not do anything intimate he hasn’t touched me in years. I am getting counselling from Aron he is wonderful and he is so encouraging. I love his writings and I also love how he is so godly in leading his wife. He says such wonderful things about hiw a marriage should be and I want that kind of marriage he talks about. I have really missed your blogs lately, thanks for sharing with us, it was right on time. Take care Marie and God Bless you.

  2. I’ve suffered with OCD as long as I can remember and despite being well medicated I still have periodic days where I am completely overwhelmed…. that’s when I get like that and honestly being truly dominated, feeling his strength and becoming serenely submissive helps more than any drugs. It helps get my mental health back on track xx

  3. Marie, I love this post. I can relate to so many things in it too. Here are the words I love the most, ” NOT about me wanting to get myself hurt or hurting myself intentionally. i am not craving a sore bottom. i am craving his authority, attention, and him taking control.” More people need to understand that.

    • Marie,

      My wife and I have been in a D/s relationship for 10 years. If I get to busy and don’t make time to administer her regular maintenance spanking. She tells me she misses it terribly and does not feel as close to me.
      She does go into sub-frenzy sometimes hours leading up to and after I administer her punishment spanking.

  4. I’m not sure how I missed this post. Anyway can I make a suggestion? Not on how to, but maybe something to think about. The first few years we did ttwd, I too needed a lot of physical. However, it turned out ( and I realize everyone is different so this might not apply to you) that it wasn’t the physical I was needing. B (not saying this is David) was not ‘getting’ it, and who could blame him I didn’t know either, I needed to submit in other ways beyond the physical. I needed him to capture my mind- and while spanking took the edge off, it didn’t settle deep in my bones (leading me to want more). It wasn’t until he started capturing my time, my space that he started to capture my mind and my submissiveness began to flourish even if he was coasting for a bit. It also seemed to train him to watch how my demeanor changed and then he’d preemptively set my heart right again- physically.

    This is not to say that I didn’t end up wanting more from him, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted more so I could feel more of what I already did, but not because I was missing something. There really is no substitute for a Dom initiated reset.


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