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Tag: respect

295 – Chastity Belt – SOP

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 7 Comments on 295 – Chastity Belt – SOP

As i was thinking it may happen, it’s now official! i have a clear directive – or Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) – has now been decided and communicated to me.

i am to “assume there is a standing order to wear the belt, unless told otherwise with a specifically communicated reason to not wear it.”

i have now had the Fancy Steel, permanent and more durable and more fitted, Chastity Belt for one week now. i have been in-belt more than out-of-belt during the last week too.

Thinking about the times i have been out-of-belt the most over this last week, it has been overnight. i have only slept in the belt one night so far.

Yesterday evening, i asked permission to be out-of-belt as David had heated up our pool and i wanted to go swimming. While i ended up NOT swimming (not a relevant point), i was given permission to be out-of-belt. So it was off from (about) 7p last night and is still off now at 5:30p. It is now (about) 22’ish consecutive hours out-of-belt. While i haven’t officially calculated it out, it’s probably the longest consecutive amount of time out-of-belt in the last 7-days.

But the belt will go back on as soon as i home from work, which is to happen in the next hour.

The directive for the now SOP came late this morning when i had been at work for just a bit.

i was struggling with what to do (wear or not wear the belt, ask or not ask if i should, etc!), so i started a text dialogue with David, as follows:

So as i was preparing for work, i decided to take some leftovers from last night’s dinner for my lunch today. i was getting out the plastic/ storage dishes and scooping food into the smaller ones to take “just some” of it to work, when David came into the kitchen and inquired about what i was doing.

When i told him, he said, “Just take the whole (full) container” and i said (with a little sharper tone and demeanor than i had intended), “No. i don’t need all this. And i don’t want to stand at the microwave (at work for lunch) heating this entire dish of food, when i want just a small portion.”

Well. Sir said, “it doesn’t look like the new container that you are using is much smaller than the one that has the original food. Just take it all.”

“Yes, i know. We just don’t own many small single-serve storage containers. But i don’t need to take all this with me so this is easier.” (Again, too much “tone” went with this statement!)

That was when David’s eyebrows raised up and he asked in a stern voice, “why are you talking to me in this tone?! And why are you not just doing as I told you to?”

i was a bit snappy for sure. My response was, “i just don’t need the entire container at work is all.”

That’s when he didn’t appreciate me NOT recognizing or apologizing for the tone i used and said, “bend over the counter!”

And so he gave me a small (clothing on) spanking with his hand, that i definitely felt, and that we were both aware was to make a point more than anything. It was a reminder. Of what could come if i continue on.

He then said, “if you want to keep this up, the next spanking will be worse.”

“Yes Sir. i’m sorry Sir.” And then i was off to work (with my smaller containers of portion-appropriate food in hand).

Soooo when he asked me the question above about whether the belt was on or off when i was arguing this morning, that was what it was in reference to.

And this was the next part of our texting conversation:

i admitted to him (and you too), i was snarky.

Sir didn’t have to say it. i knew. He thinks that i am more submissive when i am in-belt than when i am out-of-belt. i’m not sure if that’s true or not, but it may well be. i just don’t know. But i think we are nearing the point where we will be finding out soon!

And then i waited to hear more. We went radio-silent for a bit. i knew he needed time to think and i couldn’t demand an immediate answer. That’s understandable.

But that understanding didn’t seem to last too long. About an hour later, this was the next part:

So. Now i know. The SOP is to “assume the belt goes on. Until or unless it is explicitly said otherwise.”

AND i got a positive confirmation that he still intends to use and play with me. So there’s that!

The very last of our conversation went like this:

So i said thanks, and acknowledged/ admitted i will willingly submit.

If i’m being honest, i’m not certain how i feel about this.

This is no longer a fantasy, or a “scene,” but instead it now a way of life. While i expected it, and we’ve been moving ever closer to this really, knowing it and living it aren’t entirely the same. The very true and full reality that my control is completely taken away is about to hit me hard.

i think i will like it, but i am a bit nervous too. i will keep you posted!

What i know without a doubt is that now the “Belt Rules” are all feeling super real!

Lastly – if you are curious about the “get it fixed” part…. Well…. that will be expanded on as part of my “full belt review” still to come.

Hugs,

Marie

263 – And just like that, i was spanked. HARD!

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My ass turned a brilliant color of red, hurt to sit, and the next day is STILL tender and bruising.

Yah. So. i knew it was coming. i took it like a champ, but it hurttttttt.

i didn’t know the exact time David’s plane would land back home. i only knew it was around 11a. So i started watching Life 360 for location updates around 10:30. i KNEW i HAD to be in position on time or it would be a double whammy. And i was NOT going there!

Life 360 showed his plane on the ground about 11:05. i watched as his little icon moved slowly, presumably as he walked throughthe airport. Once i knew he was on the road and headed home, i started to get ready.

i was previously told to Assume the Position at the time i knew he had left the airport.

We live about 30’ish minutes from the airport, so i knew the wait would be a test of itself. i went to our bedroom and fully undressed. i pulled the bed covers back. i got the paddle out of its drawer. i grabbed a pillow and set it midway down the bed. i climbed on the bed. i tucked the pillow under my hips, to raise my butt up in the air. i grabbed the paddle, and bent over at my waist. i placed the paddle on my lower back/ upper ass. i tucked my arms under my head. i laid my head on the bed.

And i waited.

And waited.

And i ALMOST fell asleep! Laying on the bed, without anything to do except wait and contemplate my (very) immediate future, caused me to get bored and drift off. Thankfully i did NOT actually fall asleep. i can’t imagine his response had he found me asleep! (Oh my!)

As soon as i heard the garage door open, my heart started racing.

Please Dear God allow me to accept this discipline with grace. Be with David as he delivers this discipline. Lead him in your will. Guide him to know when justice has been served, and without HIS remorse but instead my own.

And he walked in.

“Hello Sir.”

“Hello. I’m glad to see you in position. Are you ready?”

“No, i am not ready, but i know i need to accept this anyway.”

And he picked up the paddle from my lower back/upper butt, and i held my breathe expecting the first swat to land. Instead, it softly touched my bottom. He held it there for what felt like several minutes, but was in reality most likely only several seconds.

i heard, “do you understand why you are here?”

“Yes Sir. i got unnecessarily mad at you and defied your authority, which was disrespectful to you.”

SMACK!

Ouch! Man that hurt. Ok…. Breathe!

As he smacked my butt, my whole body moved forward toward the top of the bed. No warm up today!

Get back in position and relax your muscles. Accept this with grace! You knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant!

“Yes, you are correct.”

He held it against my bottom again. He spoke again, “And was there a better way?”

“Yea Sir. i should have just talked to you.”

Swat, (pause), swat, (pause), SWAT! (and a pause)

Ahhh crap this hurts! Get back in position and relax again!

He said nothing, but as my body moved with the intense smacks he delivered. He gave me enough time to reset and prepare for the next one. Each one was delivered with intensity and intention and purpose.

And we started another round. One. After. Another. i lost count. i tried hard to keep count, but Sir didn’t make me count aloud. Thankfully. As i found it took everything in me to accept each smack, in a respectful manner as i knew i needed to.

This hurt so bad. It is serving its purpose… to correct bad behavior!

After a few more, Sir held the paddle up against my ass again. He must have known i was (unintentionally) holding my breathe as each swat found its mark. This was a chance to recover and be prepared for more. i wasn’t sure if the pause was good or bad really!

After each one, Sir gave me about 5-seconds to reset and release my breathe. And smack!

And release, and Smack!

Then he held the paddle to my ass once again. He spoke again. “Have you learned anything today?”

“Yes Sir. i WON’T be doing this again.”

“Good!”

As he said that, i felt the paddle pull away from the seat of my bottom. As it did, i pulled in my breathe, gritted my teeth, and expected the next swat to make its mark.

But i felt nothing.

Could we be done?!

S-M-A-C-K!

Ouchie…. This was the worst one yet! Wow! This one was intense.

Maybe it was because i wasn’t able to anticipate it so well with the dramatic pause, but i swear Sir added more power to this one for sure!

Even before now, i knew they would get progressively worse too!

i felt several more too!

My resistance was lessening. i was resigning and relaxing into it. This is usually when i start to tear up and the water starts leaking out of my eyes. i felt a few more spanks collide with my ass and i could tell the tears were starting to form.

David knew i was resigned to accept it now. He knew i was feeling the remorse. He also knew how red my ass was already showing too.

He held the paddle against my ass again and asked me, “Do you have anything more to say?”

“Yes Sir. i am sorry.”

With that, he pulled the paddle back and i prepared for another. But it didn’t come.

Instead, he pulled my upper body up from the mattress and into a hug. He kissed my lips and said, “I love you and your submission. All is done.”

i hugged him right back. And i reciprocated my love for my Sir.

And he said, “let’s go enjoy lunch out and do some shopping.”

i didn’t know what shopping he had in mind, but i was feeling incredibly humble and wasn’t about to say a word about that. i said, “thank you Sir for loving me enough to lead and discipline me.”

i wore a cotton dress to lunch. i knew i needed the soft fabric against my burning bottom. The dress was lowwww cut and showed off my cleavage in a polite, but sexy way. i wore nothing underneath. In fact, besides my sandals, the only other thing i put on was my collar. The collar was to remind me who i am (and not earn a repeat visit to the Position any too soon!)

We went out to lunch.

The seat of my Sir’s truck felt like it was on fire. It was SO hot! Or maybe it was the heat radiating from my ass and trapped between the cotton dress and the leather seat that was causing the problem.

When we got to the restaurant, i requested a booth, where the cushioned bench would be so much better than the wood chairs. Sir laughed but agreed. All throughout lunch he made references to my “hot ass.” i knew he wasn’t making flirtatious comments either.

When we left there, we went to the sex toy shop, Adam & Eve. i had no idea his “shopping” would be for sex toys! He found a few things i would not have bought, mainly for cost! One thing he got was a new whipping tool. Not sure what to call it but i will have to find a way to describe it to you at some point, after it tears up my ass no doubt!

Another thing he found was a rabbit vibratory that had an electric shock function too. i have never owned any electric shock toys. Wasn’t sure if this would be good or bad! As Sir handed me the toys he said to go check out, and i did.

i have NO doubt the two cashiers noticed my low cut dress, my lack of a bra, and my collar. They spoke to me politely enough, but admittedly much of their conversation was directed to Sir. They explained that the electric shock function works “differently inside a body, compared to being on the outside. When you have this inside her, touch the button to start the electricity function. It will cause her muscles to contract where she will reach orgasm much quicker.”

He said, “good to know.” And he smiled at me. As he said this to them, i wondered, “will i get to orgasm or will he stop it just short?!”

After we paid, we came home.

He told me to get undressed and lay on the couch. He used the new electric toy on my needy pussy and he allowed me to orgasm… over and over again! That new electric shock delivered, just as the ladies said it would. i was in multiple orgasm, subspace heaven! i lost count for the second time in one day.

The day started on a humbling note and ended on a super high note. As i laid in bed going off to sleep, i felt really special and happy, despite my rear end still throbbing and showing signs of one continuous bruise. My badge of honor that i was pleased to accept!

That was all yesterday.

Today i was allowed to give Sir a blow job, where i got super horny. i so badly wanted to climb on his cock and ride it like nobody’s business, but he did not allow that. He stopped me from it, saying he knew i was thinking selfish (get an orgasm out of it) thoughts. He was not wrong!

And but a short few minutes later, he wanted to “try out the new whip toy.”

i knew i wasn’t in trouble, but i wasn’t thrilled to have my still-bruised-and-still-tender-bottom spanked. i didn’t complain though. Instead, i leaned over the side of the bed and spread my legs wide. He used this new tool to turn my ass a bright red! It stung as it collided with my ass. He didn’t spank me too long, but it was long enough too. i think Sir enjoyed it. i may be seeing more of this thing, that i’m not sure how to describe. Maybe i need to take a picture, post it, and ask you how to describe it or tell me it’s name!

This all made me SO wet! i don’t quite know why, but every time i am spanked my puss gets sopping sloppy wet. (Yesterday i was dripping down my own leg!)

But he did NOT touch me. NO orgasms today!

When he didn’t allow me to ride his cock, nor did he touch my pussy after he spanked my ass, i knew an orgasm was NOT in my immediate future so i went and put the chastity belt on for tonight. i needed to save me from myself! As i came out of the closet, Sir held his hand out and i placed the key in it. He smirked and said, “I like it!”

After he read in his book, he just now turned out the light and with a half laugh told me to “enjoy your frustration tonight.”

i pouted and said, “i don’t think i will Sir.”

He laughed and said, “I will!”

In a joking tone, i poked at him and said, “i think you rather seem to like having me frustrated Sir.”

And he responded back, “I definitely do!”

One of the worst spankings i have had to date and the first time to receive two in two days too, even though the second one was a bit of a maintenance type than a discipline type.

And i am frustrated tonight, but still proud of who i am. i am His submissive wife, and i have accepted all this with the grace i prayed for!

Hugs,

Marie

233 – i prayed for patience

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 233 – i prayed for patience

Quite a long time ago….. like nearly 20-years ago now, i prayed to God to teach me patience. After about a year of enduring situations that demanded patience, i heard myself begging God to let me take back that same prayer… “Yeah, God… uhm… can we forget we had this little talk, shall we?”

i hated it! The only way to learn patience is to experience it….. to be patient. And wait.

To this day, i do not think God forgot. i think He merely laughed. And He put me into other various situations to continue to test my endurance… and patience.

Patience often means self control, which also means self discipline. i don’t mean self discipline as in self inflicted spankings, but rather more like controlling myself to avoid getting into a situation needing physical discipline at all.

Self discipline and self control are very much related and/or the same thing, but so is patience really. We all must learn these virtues throughout life. It’s what keeps us out of trouble.

So all of this can be hard under normal circumstances but add to it a D/s dynamic and it [being patience!] becomes very nearly required and yet… sometimes impossible.

i find myself having to exert a LOT of patience these days as i wait on David to decide if/when he wants to be in an (active) D/s relationship…. And let me tell you, it is pure torture.

But today i see it is already starting to payoff. i know what you are thinking…. “It’s just been a few days!”

But that’s because i only just told you about it. i just didn’t have the courage to tell you. Or maybe it was more like, i didn’t want to admit it… even to myself!

We started not (actively) living this lifestyle just after Christmas. It wasn’t a particular day or time that we decided to stop but rather the D/s activities just started to fade away over time.

So i have been praying and waiting and enduring …. And practiced building PATIENCE…

Today, i saw a small change. But it felt huge!

David & i were at an event with several friends. David made a comment to one of the friends where he spoke about something and i was quick to correct him. i didn’t mean to snap, but i had information that he didn’t and i blurted it out, effectively making him look (and probably feel) inadequate.

He looked sternly at me where in a hushed voice which was clearly audible for only my ears, he said, “you don’t need to be so snarky!”

i just responded with, “Yes. i agree.”

And i stopped.

Later in the day, hours after the event concluded, out of the blue he texted, “I noticed you listened.”

i knew what he was referring to immediately and i smiled. He noticed! i texted back, “as i mentioned, i intent to be the best submissive wife i can be. If you choose to enforce it, i would love that. But i know it needs to be your decision too.”

A minute later, i saw the tell tale blinking …. The Dots….. he was texting back….

And i waited more…. Exercising more patience!

That’s when his message came through and it said, “I likely will.”

And i feel confident, he will. Just can’t wait til he does…..

Ok.

i know.

i have to.

Wait.

BE PATIENT!

Hugs,

Marie

231 – Can’t force it. Just let it be.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 231 – Can’t force it. Just let it be.

Sometimes you learn exactly what you are, and exactly how to act, and exactly why you do what you do. And sometimes that happens all on your own.

That’s what’s happened to me.

While i have been incredibly happy to submit, for years now, i know that David has not always been so receptive. In fact, sometimes if it weren’t for me FORCING our relationship into the box i wanted it to be (one of D/s or DD), D/s wouldn’t be a thing for us.

Don’t misunderstand, he has loved my submissiveness. He just hasn’t always liked the Dominant role i thrust him into.

In times where i have been absent from this blog is primarily the same times that i have given up on the whole idea and thought, “This is dumb!” The “Whole idea” being both about D/s AND this blog.

In times where we have been spot-on and doing/living the D/s dynamic, we are great. We are alive with newness and excitement, and we never fight. Because we don’t need to fight. Because we are exactly aligned. Which is exactly why i love the dynamic and living it too.

But if it’s forced, it’s not good.

i decided with the new year for 2022, i just wouldn’t. i wouldn’t fight for it or force it or try to make it to happen in any way. i haven’t pressured David to do what HE doesn’t want to, or that HE didn’t initiate.

While we’ve had a good 2022 in these many months, it’s been almost exclusively with a vanilla/normal relationship. It was as if the D/s dynamic just faded away until its just nothing more than a memory to talk about in a nostalgic way… like “remember when we used to….” type way.

The fact he doesn’t ever bring it up or talk about it, let alone act on it, and has told me that he’s just not that into it. So i have let it drop. Mostly.

It saddens me to NOT have it, but it is what it is. i can’t be submissive and force him to be a Dominate at the same time. He isn’t a puppet to just merely act the part that i have written the script for.

But i know who i am. And i am submissive.

To Him.

Only.

i have tried to pretend its not me, that it’s not who i am. i have tried to forget about it too, and act “normal”. But. i can’t. i can’t forget. And i realize MY normal is being a submissive.

i have come to realize all this all on my own. i can’t change him into what i want. He has to want it. But likewise, he can’t change me into what he wants me to be either.

What i know without a doubt = i am His submissive.

And i have decided to start acting it more than talking about it. i have also decided to stop trying to force him to act like he’s my Dom too. If or when he wants to, he will have an open door.

i decided to tell him all this today, much in the same way i just told you. i think it surprised him as i think he has assumed i was over it. i think he thought it was a fad for me. And now that we haven’t done it (lived or forced it to happen) for many months now, it was a long-ago-forgotten memory.

i don’t know what this means or how it will play out exactly. But what i do know is that he’s always been and always will be my Sir. And i will acknowledge and show him the respect that entails for as long as i live.

Maybe one day he will want to be my Dom all on his own too. In the meantime, i won’t force it, demand it, or try to just get it to happen. i will be the submissive wife i have proclaimed to be. And let the rest all be what it will be.

i don’t know what that means for this blog either. i will probably be here telling you about me and my side of the story, but … that’s pretty much what i have already done for more than 2-years too! So … probably no real changes there. Ha!

For the first time ever though, i am going to absolutely refuse to top-from-the-bottom now…. i always knew i was kind of doing this, but now i know it’s not ok.

i will say prayers that David decides to be my Dominant Husband, and not just my Vanilla Husband. But either way, i will be his submissive.

Hugs,

Marie

230 – Sir. SIR. SIR! And….. S-I-R!

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 230 – Sir. SIR. SIR! And….. S-I-R!

Sometimes rules must be tailored to be a good fit for our relationship. Sometimes the fit is just perfect, but needs to be refreshed.

Saying “Sir” is one of those things for us! It is absolutely something that fits, but it is in need of refreshment.

Yet, somehow, over the years i have not always said it, nor has David always expected it. Or maybe he has always expected it, but never enforced it. i’m not entirely sure which.

Let me go back a minute and remind you (and myself) why i say Sir at all anyway…..

When i decided to look up the word’s definition, i found this:

Do you see the first sentence there? Used as a “respectful way of addressing a man, especially one in a position of authority.”

Sir is a term used a fair bit in the bdsm and d/s lifestyles and is used to refer to one’s dominant. The term is used to reference the power exchange, or imbalance as some would say, and it is there as well to denote a level of respect.

David is absolutely in a position of authority in my life. And he has every bit of power in our relationship. As well, i have said before there are times where i need to have a physical or tangible reminder of my submission (and his dominance). When i speak the word “Sir” it is a verbal word that also serves as a reminder for myself. So it seems that the word SIR is applicable in every way!

Me saying Sir has not been a new thing for us either. Saying Sir has been a thing for a longggggg time now. It was one of the first things we negotiated and one of the first things i ever wrote about.

Unfortunately though, when something isn’t spoken aloud (or enforced), it’s hard to know if the other even cares about it. And if it doesn’t seem important, pretty soon the habit is dropped. And pretty soon after that, it becomes a non-event altogether. i’d say this is true of anything in life really.

Anytime something isn’t practiced, it’s forgotten, which is pretty much the source of the phrase “use it or lose it.” You could pretty much say i lost it…. The muscle memory to say “Sir” has not been too much of a thing for us as of late.

Oh i have said it. Just not frequently. i have said it when i felt like it, but i wouldn’t say it was altogether frequently either. i have used it more like a treat or an extra special event. He hasn’t brought attention to its use or rather i should say lack of it’s use is more like it!

But that is changing now. The last couple of days, he has absolutely let me know in a passive-aggressive way but meant to make an impression all the same too, that saying SIR is something i should be doing far more than ithat have been.

Like today, he asked me a question and i just said, “no”. To which he said, “No….. what?!” and of course i knew he wanted the “Sir” and i spoke it aloud immediately.

And yesterday after i thanked him for helping me with something, he said, “want to say that properly?”

So i said, “thank you Sir.”

While he hasn’t exactly said that what i say (without Sir) was wrong, through that passive-aggressive way he’s now used, i know he thinks it is an incomplete response too.

The opposite has been true though too. When i get it right (and use the word Sir), he has made no comment about it, doesn’t praise it, or otherwise really make mention of it.

i think that’s because it is expected. Like anything expected, it doesn’t give rise to an occasion worthy of mention. For example, taking a shower or getting dressed or going to work or cooking dinner. Those are all normal activities. Those activities aren’t things that are specifically talked about or praised. Can you imagine saying, “oh good girl! You went to work today!” ? Uhm… no.

Using the same thought process, Sir has not said anything like, “oh wonderful Marie, you used the word Sir.” it just hasn’t been talked about.

Unfortunately i mistakenly assumed his lack of discussion about it as indication that it did not matter to him. Of course, his lack of punishment for NOT using it seemed to also give indication that he didn’t care about its use either. But again, i mistakenly assumed he did not care.

Today though, when he corrected me, i decided to ask about it. i told him much of what I have said here. i specifically said that i didn’t think he cared (anymore) about it as he hadn’t said anything about it until (of course) the most recent days.

To which he responded with one sentence, “The next time I have to correct you, your butt will feel it.”

“Yes SIR. Understood SIR.”

So while it may have been along time ago now that he first told me to use it, the applicability is still very much appropriate!

And because I never took exception to it in the first place, but rather simply grew lazy about it, i will use it frequently again as i have NO desire to feel the cane anytime too soon… or even later!

Of course, easier said than done. As even this first day has moved onward, David asked me to help in the kitchen and i said, “ok” and forgot the word S-I-R. i am fairly sure he didn’t hear me respond though, so i was “safe” for now. But i really have to stay in the moment for awhile and be intentional about this… at least until it becomes a regular thing again and the muscle memory is committed to memory again!

Hugs,

Marie