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Tag: respect

140 – FULLY

In my last post i wrote that a submissive should submit “fully”. And then Willie replied showing me how that’s not exactly true. Even for me.

My intentions in that post were ultimately just to explore the reasons people may not have anal sex or anal play. And to give some thoughts about considering breaking down that hard limit. But i’m afraid the post missed the mark too.

i do still understand and appreciate that everyone has hard limits, and there are multiple reasons for them, and they are there to stay…. and it’s ok. Really – it is! (i have them too.)

So after Willie’s comment, i got to thinking more about “fully submissive” and what that means (or doesn’t).

But even stop for a second and let’s talk about the word “FULLY” all by itself. It means to the top, completely, to the furthest extent, not possible to go anymore.

So i really think anyone living a D/s lifestyle, trying to be the best submissive spouse possible, and doing it in the way that works for them —- IS FULLY SUBMISSIVE.

Yet, even for a “FULLY SUBMISSIVE” person, there are things that it does NOT mean. There are hard limits. Even for me too.

And that’s GOOD. It means you have a brain in the head that’s sitting on your shoulders, and you aren’t afraid to use it.

So what won’t i do as a FULLY submissive wife?

Here’s a few……

1) The same as Willie mentioned, i refuse to be slapped in the face. i feel that is offensive and abusive. And just unnecessary. There are so many other places to spank, that the face shouldn’t be the go-to.

2) i don’t want to be treated like an animal. i don’t want to be made to be on all 4’s, not allowed to eat with my hands/silverware, or while sitting at the table. i might like this as a one-time/ sexual scene. But not as an everyday dynamic. Because we don’t just do D/s with DD in the bedroom (it is 24/7), we try to do things that are reasonable and manageable for every day life.

3) i won’t be verbally scolded and told to be a submissive. That seems trivial at first, but what it means to me is my R-I-G-H-T to chose to be submissive. If someone TELLS me to do it or be it, it seems like it has taken away my right. And i can’t and won’t have that. In fact, if i were told to be submissive, i suspect that would be enough for me to say “NO!” And rebel against it!

There’s others too, and maybe that will be another post too. And maybe the things i mention are ones that you might say i should consider breaking down that barrier and give me reasons to have it not be a hard limit. (The way i tried to do in the anal access previous post). And i would probably listen, and yet, probably NOT accept your way of thinking! And that’s ok too! Because i listened, heard, and rejected it as the way for me.

So if that’s what you did with the last post, i get it and i accept that.

My ultimate point is that, i do know and respect that everyone has different hard limits for various reasons. And i did a poor job (in the last post) of saying that i understand and respect that.

Soooo i fully agree – you are fully submissive – in the way you do things. (And so am i too).

So what ARE your hard limits anyway, besides anal? Would you ever consider changing any of them? Tell me more.

Have an an amazing week my friends!

Hugs,

Marie

129 – BJ

This morning our son left for school and i went to shower. When i was out, and before dressing, i asked David, “should i assume the position now?”

(i mean it IS Friday…. and that is Maintenance day!)

Instead of a “yes,” what i heard surprised me. He said, “no, get dressed and come see me before you leave (for work).”

i was pretty surprised we were skipping maintenance, but it worked for me! Although i wasn’t sure what the “come see me” part was about either…. but whatever. No big deal.

Then i finished preparing for work – i dressed, hair/make up, jewelry and i went to see him….

He said, “get on your knees. You’re going to suck my cock now.”

He has never been that bold or direct really, especially about a BJ. (He uses a lot of passive-aggressive sentences which i really don’t like at all!)

So i was a bit surprised and my face must’ve shown it as he said, “don’t look at me like that. Just do it”. And he dropped his shorts and i dropped to my knees.

As i gave him a BJ, he made comments like “it would’ve been nice to make your ass a bright red today.”

And “I could’ve fucked your ass if I didn’t think you’d try to orgasm.”

And “this is about me. I made you put clothes on for a reason. You don’t get yours until tonight!”

(i think my ass was on his mind…. no complaints from me!)

Hearing him say those things made me so wet! And he even said, “I bet you are dripping right now. Like I said, there’s a reason I had you fully clothed to do this. You would’ve wanted to touch yourself and you are just needing to wait a bit longer.”

Well……. i was indeed SO super wet, that i was dripping! When i was done, there was a huge wet spot on the outside of my jeans that i had to change my pants! It was so visible from the outside it just wasn’t acceptable to go out of the house that way.

When he saw it, Sir asked me, “you didn’t cum, did you???”

And i said, “No Sir. Just ready for tonight. And us being together with BJ.”

He said, “yeah, I get TWO BJ’s today…. from you now and them later.” (Oh how funny was that little pun!)

So i need to hang on for a few more hours to get my own BJ also!

Have a great day….. i know i will!!

Hugs,

Marie

127 – Orgasm control

(i thought this picture was hot and the words completely described my situation…. except of course have to reverse the pronouns to substitute “him” for “her.” So i used it. 🥰)

As i was laying in bed relaxing and reading before sleep last night, David came in too. But instead of just laying down beside me, he pulled back my covers and spread my legs.

Part of being truly submissive to David is whenever and wherever he wants to have sex, or any kind of sexual activity at all, i do NOT deny him. It’s not an official rule, per se but it doesn’t need to be. It is SO very understood that we don’t even need to have it as a rule. Once he said that if i ever deny him, “it better be for a damn good reason!” Most of the time, it’s all good though and veryyyyyy seldom do i even want to deny him. So no real complaints from me, mostly because it benefits me too!

Definitely not this week. This week there’s a lot of teasing and no “benefits.” David said he wants to, “get me super excited” (and ready) for our date on Friday. As if i’m not already.

So this week will be only about edging … which is getting me super close to orgasm and stop. And repeat. And never quite getting to go over the “edge” to actually be allowed to orgasm….. until Friday.

Sir then moved down between my legs, and he looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “you better not cum!”

And he pressed his face to my pussy and assaulted my clit with his tongue in such a delightful way. His tongue felt simply amazing on my clit. i started to moan in ecstasy and he pulled back and said, “you better tell me before you go over the edge!”

i must always ask to orgasm. There is never a time i don’t have to ask, including during intercourse. If i don’t, there is punishment. And sometimes that punishment is immediate with something like a slap to my pussy or the sex coming to an immediate halt or an immediate spanking. Most of the time the punishment is that the next time i ask to orgasm, the answer is, “No, you already did it the last time without permission. So you don’t get to now.” And i am denied the pleasure. If and when i do ask though, about 90% of the time, i am told yes. So it is ultimately more about respecting the rule (this is a rule), his authority, and being submissive to wait for the answer.

But this week…. there’s no point in asking. i know the answer is no. And if i didn’t know before, he made it plainly obvious when he stopped licking my needy cunt to say, “you better not cum…. if you know what’s good for you!”

That’s when he immediately put his wet and warm tongue back on my inviting pussy, playing with my clit even more. It didn’t take much and i had to (quite literally) tap him out and barely eeked out the words, “please stop Sir.”

And he did. i knew he would, but i was hoping that 1% chance would reconsider allowing me to orgasm. But it was NOT!

That’s when he asked, “how was that?”

i responded with, “Amazing. Until i had to ask you to stop.”

In truth it was bitter sweet…. awesome AND terrible… because i HAD to ask him to stop when i absolutely did NOT want to!

Not only did i not want him to stop, but i had to ask aloud for him to stop too. He knew this was an action on my part. It was a decision to acknowledge his authority, follow the rules through my submission, and an active decision to obey. Ultimately this was about more than just orgasm control! It was our D/s dynamic at work.

He said, “you didn’t want to stop.”

i said “no Sir, i did not.”

And he said, “it’s great practice for Friday! You’ll be very ready to cum then.”

He continued, “it was a great accomplishment that you stopped. You should be proud!”

Again, this was about more than just orgasm control. It was truly about submission. While he was acknowledging the actual act of stopping him and denying my own orgasm, he’s also saying he’s proud of me for submitting. And we both knew it.

i kinda mumbled a “uh huh” sound and he laughed. He said, “this is good character building. Besides B&J will get the benefits now too.”

i also think all this edging might be a bit about (preemptively eliminating) nerves too. In the past, when we meet someone, while i want to be there and do this swinging thing, i get nervous and jittery. i tend to get all shy and reserved, which Sir does not understand at all which leads to (almost) having a panic attack on my part. If i am so sexed up that i can hardly wait to take my clothes off before we even get there… well…. no nervousness and all courage! Great topic to expand on in the next post. Stay tuned for more…..

Hugs,

Marie

121 – Complete Work of Fiction #6

Many of you have written to me and said i have talent writing fiction so i decided maybe i ought to do a bit more.

Of course, David has ordered me to keep my day job…. 🤣😂🤣. Sooooo….. Since i won’t be changing careers anytime soon, you get my next work of art here….

This installment is truly fiction, but ….it then again, it could be nonfiction too…. you just don’t really know for sure!

HERE GOES……

As i’ve been writing all the fiction stories, David has been reading them too. He asked me if anyone responded or volunteered to be interviewed for a spot at the 50th Birthday Thanksgiving feast.

At the time he asked, i did have to honestly say no. But that has since changed!

i recently received an email that had a subject line of, “Application within.” When i opened the email, it said, “I’m a fan of your blog and I’d like to know more about what I’d have to do to be considered for a chance to be your Second.”

That’s all it said, except for the signature which was simply the initials of, “SS”.

Oh now this is intriguing! How to respond?!

Of course i consulted David. He asked me if “SS” was a male or a female. And i had to say i had no idea really.

He said, “Respond and find out a name, their sex, sexual orientation, and where they live. It may be difficult if they live too far away anyway.”

So i set out to typing, “Hello SS, Thanks for being a fan of the blog. And sending an email. David and i are both intrigued and want to know more about you.”

And i asked the questions David wanted to know about. And hit send.

Now to wait. Possibly forever. Who knows if he (OR she) would actually respond. i checked my email a lot that day!!

But….. a few hours later, a response came back! It read, “Hi again Marie! I am male, married. I am a Dominant. And my wife and I read your blog together. It was at her suggestion that I sent the first email as she said I should apply to be your male second.”

And he signed it again “SS.”

Then there was a “PS…. I live in Texas like you.”

Interesting for sure now!

But of course, Texas is a VERY big place, so who knows what that even really means! [Fun fact, did you know it is closer to go from El Paso, Tx to San Fran, CA (west) than it is to go from El Paso to the LA/TX border (east). And that’s just East to West, same is true North to South too! Just saying,.. Texas is big!]

Anyway, of course David said, “don’t go getting yourself all worked up and excited yet! You should know that information really means nothing! And he still didn’t tell us his name either. He could be some psycho internet stalker for all we know!”

And David then told me “in fact, I think you need to forward that email to me and I’ll decide if we will pursue this or not. You you are not to email him directly anymore.” So i did as told.

That was almost 3-weeks ago. i didn’t even know for sure if David emailed him, and frankly i had forgotten about it.

Then today out of the blue, David asked me, “Do you trust me?”

This is a strange question….. So i responded with, “Is this a trick question?“

He cocked his head and said in a firm voice, “NO, it is not. Answer me before you get your bottom side turned red!”

i said, “Yes, of course i do, Sir. Why do you ask? “

He ignored my question and instead responded with, “Good. Then tonight we are going out. I will pick out your clothes and you will be ready to leave at 6 prompt.”

That’s when i asked, “Where are we going?”

With a smirk on his face, he reached up with his hand and cupped my cheek while he said, “You said you trusted me. So … trust me! And quite asking so many questions already.”

i had to accept his answer and so my only response then was, “Yes Sir.”

And that’s all he told me.

FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE….

I knew she’d be surprised at my secretiveness and she’d want to know more. She’s always been so curious and wants to know everything, but this time, she just needed to trust me………starting now.

I picked out a dress that I’ve always loved on her. It hugs her hips just right and has a deep cut on top allowing me to see much of her breasts without being too rated X in public.

She did get ready and put on the dress… no panties and no bra, of course (!). She knows how I feel about being punctual, so she didn’t disappoint. And we left the house on time.

When we got moving in the car, I started teasing her saying, “you don’t know where we are going!” I did it on purpose too. I knew her curiosity would get the best of her at some point. I just didn’t know how soon she’d break either. I was going to test that though tonight and see how far she could go!

That’s when I also said, “pull your dress up so I can see my favorite pussy.”

And while she rolled her eyes at me and seemed to respond with a bit of hesitancy, she did as I instructed. That’s when I reached over and gave her pussy a quick snappy smack! She let out a “ouch” and flinched to which I ignored. Instead I said, “next time don’t roll your eyes at me and act like I’m putting you out to be able to see what’s mine.”

She did give me the two words I love to hear, “Yes Sir.” And then I put my hand down softly on her clit and started to rub my middle finger over it. She responded nicely this time!

I said, “this is what I was intending to do and you could’ve avoided the swat had you responded properly the first time. I shouldn’t give you this pleasure now even, but I do want to in spite of your hesitation.”

Her back was arching, she was squirming in her seat, and her eyes were rolling back in her head so she didn’t respond verbally, but I knew she was happy.

I continued to finger her pussy until she got near orgasming and when she asked me if she could cum (she always does as that’s a rule!), I said no and stopped. And she pouted. And I said to stop. And so she did. And so I went back to fingering her. Until she asked to orgasm. And I said no. And we repeated this all the way to the restaurant.

She was so turned on and so frustrated with her inability to gain that release that by the time we got to the restaurant she was having a full on emotional battle between mental angst and physical pleasure. I had her exactly where I wanted her. She was attentive to my words and my touch!

As we neared the restaurant, I stopped touching her and said, “you said you trusted me and so far so good. But tonight may well be a true test of your trust. Are you ready for that?”

Marie responded with, “well Sir, i do trust you but i won’t deny all the cloak and dagger has me a little worried too.”

I just laughed and said, “don’t worry my love. This will be great! But I do have to tell you the rules of the night too.”

She said, “okkkkkkk”. I could tell she was getting nervous, but that was fantastic too! I truly did have her just where I wanted her!

I continued, “you basically have one rule tonight. You are NOT to say a single word tonight. No matter what you see, hear, or who speaks to you. You are to simply let me be in charge and your job is to submit by following your ONE rule. This shouldn’t be hard when you only have to follow ONE simple rule, correct?”

She looked at me and with a raised eyebrow, she said, “Yes Sir.”

I told her, “Great! Do you have any questions?”

She said, “Sir i have SO many questions i don’t even know where to start!”

I chuckled and said, “Then just don’t even start. Keep it all in. And know you just need to trust me… and follow your one rule! Do not speak a single word tonight. No matter what!”

She said, “Yes Sir.”

And I said, “Now that that is settled, let’s start now. Your rule is officially in effect. The rule will expire when the night is officially over and the time turns 12:01 am. Kinda like Cinderella, until the coach turns back to a pumpkin, you are no longer allowed to speak.”

And she nodded at me. And I smiled and said, “Good girl! You learn quickly. I love your submissiveness already! Now let’s go inside.”

TO BE CONTINUED……

Hugs,

Marie

106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

More backstory…..About the Worst Spanking Everrrrr.

i heard your concern. And i truly love all of you for feeling comfortable enough to express yourself.

But i think maybe i need to share more with you about what led up to The Worst Spanking Everrrr too. Because context is everything and frankly, i just am not sure i have given you enough.

i always debate how much backstory to give, how much is enough or not enough. i always worry i will bore you (and me too!!) with all these unnecessary tedious details. So sometimes, and this may have been one of those times, some of the details are NOT unnecessary and NOT tedious …. so here goes…..

Did you happen to notice i didn’t give you a lot of info about our vacation? YES it went well. YES what i said was true. i just didn’t go into a lot of detail either……until now…..

Soooo while we stayed in someone else’s house and with our son there too, we knew the discipline would be nonexistent. And i also knew from prior experiences that while David TALKS a lot about keeping a list, tracking the transgressions, making amends upon return…. he almost never follows through.

And i knew it. So every time something happened on vacation that i didn’t like or agree with, i told him. Quite plainly. Quite intentionally. Quite literally….. to test him.

Ok, so that last bit….. testing him….. that was raw and it hurt to type it. i wish i hadn’t said some of the things i did while on vacation. And i was MUCH more bold at the start than at the end. But what’s done is done!

At the start of the week, i was bold and proud and stated what i wanted to in any way i wanted! And he would say, “watch it” and i said “ok”. And he’d say, “I mean it!” And i’d say, “Yes Sir.” But it didn’t deter me. Not really anyway.

This pattern of “edgy – not-so-submissive” attitude and behavior continued. i knew i was playing with fire, but like a fire…. i expected it would eventually flame out and by the time we were home, it would be nothing more than ash.

Since i haven’t given you even one example of what i’m talking about, let me give you one now….

And i was reminded of this particular one because of the word “fire”…….

The people’s home that we stayed in had an outdoor hot tub and fire pit next to one another. We went and got stuff to make s’mores. And i asked David to find out about how to start the fire pit (gas, logs, etc). But he didn’t. And the next day, i said, “we want to do this and you should see about asking today!” He (again) warned me to watch the tone. And i said, “ok.”

Later that day, he started the fire and told us. But our son and i were playing a board game at the time (that easily could have been paused!) and i just said, “ok, we will finish this first.”

And he said, “The fire will go out soon if you don’t get out here and do this.”

i responded, “well fine then!” (In a sarcastic tone). And we went outside.

Then after s’mores, he cleaned up all the remnants (wrappers, extra supplies), and put out the fire while we got in the hot tub. i don’t remember even thanking him, and being honest, i was wondering why he was taking the time to get water and douse the fire logs to put out the fire (100%). i thought it unnecessary since the fire pit was a brick/stand alone put and it seemed a waste of time. ………. (Never mind the fact that “IF” it was needed and NOT done, the whole house could’ve burned down! So the real risk was NOT putting out the entire fire, compared to taking a few trips to get cups of water to fully extinguish the flames.)

Just to put a bit of “good” in this post…. here’s a picture of the sunset view we had that night…. from the hot tub…… (isn’t it absolutely beautiful????)

Now i know that wasn’t such a “terrible” situation but it wasn’t anywhere near “great” either. i was sassy and showed no respect for David. Equally, i also didn’t even appreciate the fact that he not only asked (the homeowners) about the fire …. but he actually went and started it too! And then put it out. And then allowed me and our son to sit and relax in the hot tub too.

And after that attitude and behavior are repeated over and over …. all week long…… it adds up.

And again, i was more or less … testing him. But again, i didn’t figure the Fire would be even be a lit when we were home, so i gave no concern!

Like before, with my previous Post, i guess i haven’t still given you a bunch of examples or specifics. But like before too, i don’t know if all that is necessary or not. If you think it IS necessary to have those details, go ahead and ask!

Then when we were leaving the airport to head home in our vehicle, it seemed David was driving unnecessarily aggressive. i think he was just ready to be home. So i said, “we aren’t in a rush. You need to slow down. This is aggressive driving and not necessary.”

He just glared at me at me and said, “quite enough!”

So i didn’t exactly slip back to submissive ways upon arriving back home! And while what i observed about his driving was indeed true, i didn’t say it at all kind! And our son heard it too. So i didn’t set any sort of positive/good example either!

And just like that… We were home….. and no punishment happened.

It seemed i was right…. the fire had died and only the ash remained. As usual. Per always. No big deal.

There’s NO burn from just ash!

Except it was….. A big deal…..To Me! i didn’t think that’s how it should go. If he isn’t going to follow through, then why waste the breath to say the words? Why even start the fire?? And if you are, then just use that breath to blow it out right then and there!?!

Then you come to yesterday…….

i have told David in (a few) words here and there that i don’t want all the golf lessons. But not very directly or clearly.

i went out to the course with an attitude. i knew it when i got in the car! And it showed itself when i was warming up. And he warned me then.

If you remember, that was when he said he’d take me to the woods and spank me then and there. And i called his bluff. i knew he wouldn’t do it! And i told him so!

So when i blamed him on the course for me having a bad putt…. and he KNEW that i knew to watch the tone and attitude and he had ALREADY WARNED ME!

THAT was when he got angry. And THAT was when he took action. And THAT was when he told me to walk home.

Now ….. i feel like you need a bit of my backstory/thoughts on this too……

We have a LONG history of getting mad at one another and leaving/walking away. Instead of me just doing it (or him just doing it), this time he tested me. i had tested him for over a week and now he was testing me.

He wanted to see how stubborn i was going to be. OR would i submit. Would i actually listen!?!

Additionally, i asked him to help me get into shape and Exercise. And what he didn’t tell me was that he planned all along to quit playing golf longgggg before i was home and to pick me up. Because he wasn’t having any fun at that point either. But he didn’t tell me that…. because again, it was a test. For me. To see what level of difficulty or attitude he was really dealing with. But in the meantime, i would walk (a bit!) and get the exercise i would get anyway.

And when he picked me up, the part i didn’t tell you before…. because i truly never know what detail(s) are enough, too much, just right……

i didn’t jump in the car immediately. He drove beside me and stopped. And i kept walking. He moved up and stopped. And that’s when he said, “Are you getting in?”

And i gave the biggest smart ass answer of all. i said, “i dunno. You haven’t given me permission to get in!”

That’s when he got Reallyyyyy angry. He said, “get in the car now or you will be walking all the way home!”

But it took my own self-talk of, “don’t be stubborn. Just get in the damn car!” To actually get me in the car. So i did.

By the time we got home…. ALL of these things had piled up between us. And neither of us had to speak because we both were angry. We both knew that the way i have been acting is inappropriate.

The fire was NOT just ash… it was flaming high! And my bottom was about to touch it!

He has NO problem listening to me speak …. when i do it in the right way. But the way i’ve been doing it poorly for 10-days now. Even i know, it wasn’t respectful or kind….. and most definitely not submissive!

So maybe that helps you to understand WHY i never saw any of this as extreme. It was overdue actually. It was necessary actions by him that were brought on by me.

SOMETIMES SUBMISSION HURTS.

Sometimes it is not so glamorous. And the pain is real. But submissiveness, in our house, isn’t JUST erotic and sexy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes… it’s not. And it isn’t just INSIDE our house either. But that’s how i’ve acted about it. That’s how i’ve treated it lately especially.

So sometimes, my mind needs a reset by causing my ass to be sore.

And that’s when submission can truly hurt! My ass is still sore but my attitude is infinitely better!

Even so…. i am OK! In fact, i’m better than ok!

And when i played with the Fire…. i got burned. A real butt-burner indeed!

Hugs,

Marie