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Tag: respect

105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 17 Comments on 105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

i now know the intensity to which Sir can swing the paddle!

i did not realize how much i have underestimated his commitment to enforcing the lifestyle we have with him being (truly) in control. Until today.

And that makes you ask, “what happened?” Ok, i’ll tell you how i got here….. “here” being sitting ever-so-cautiously on my ever-so-reddened-and-already-bruised-ass! (It hurts SO bad just sitting right now! It is throbbing and i am SO very aware of it with every breath!)

(NO, that photo is NOT me…. but it probably should have been. And it almost was. And my ass is currently redder than that one is too!)

A little bit of backstory……

When we met, he taught me how to play golf. That was almost 25-years ago. He always has been and always will be better than i am. We both know this, and it’s all good and we regularly play together.

Because he taught me to play, he continues to “teach” me ……all the time…. and i don’t accept it (anymore) as graciously as i should or used to. Oh sometimes i like it even now, and i used to always like it… back when i still endeavored to play better. But now, i am to the place that i have a good “enough” game that i know i can play with anyone, so i can just want to go have fun!

So with the “help” that Sir (continually) offers, i feel like every decision i make… club choice, stance, target, alignment, swing, follow through, and …..my attitude…. is under a microscope and all of this takes the fun out of it. Again, at this point in my life and skill set, i just go out to have fun and enjoy the friendship with Sir and others we play with too. And i truly don’t care about improving.

i have considered quitting the game altogether, but i keep thinking i will find a way to tell him, “i just want to have FUN! Please Sir talk about something – anything – except for how to improve my game.” If i could do that, i would still be able to go out to enjoy the game and time together with my Sir. But i continue to fail in this endeavor.

And today’s failure was epic!

We went out this morning and were playing with some friends. This is all good.. so far anyway.

When we were still warming up, he offered some “help,” and i said, “i got this.” And i guess i said it too aggressively or annoyed or something because he came back at me and said, “Don’t test me! You know you are to submit! If you don’t, I won’t hesitate to take you in the woods and use my belt on your ass!”

i said, “Yes Sir” out loud…..

But THEN a minute later i added, “While i heard what you said, i truly don’t think you’d do that. You aren’t going to embarrass either of us in front of all these people or make an awkward moment for our friends.”

And he asked me, “Are you testing me?”

To which in my head, i thought, “Indeed i am! i truly don’t think you’d do any of that! So why even say things we both know aren’t true or really EVER going to happen!?!??”………

But out of my mouth, i said, “No Sir.” (i do keep my mouth shut sometimes! But not often! Lol)

And with that, we were off to the first hole. Then it was on the 3rd hole, is when the real problem occurred!

i was about to putt when he said, “It’s uphill.” (Meaning, hit it a bit harder.) And i thought, “Ignore it. Just have fun.”

But that’s when i slammed the putt and sent the ball wayyyyyyyyyy past the hole. That’s when i looked at him and said, “Yes, i knew it was uphill.” And while the rest of our group heckled me for hitting the ball into another state, David was angry.

As we got back into our cart, he said, “Do not EVER speak to me that way again. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for!”

To which i responded, “Yes Sir.”

And while i was silent then on, it went downhill from there. A few holes later, after we had sat in complete silence…..he said, “You need to walk home. Now!”

So while i was COMPLETELY angry and did NOT think this was necessary…. i did as i was told. i reallyyyyyyyy wanted to tell him that this was extreme and uncalled for. But i didn’t. i didn’t say a word at all actually, and got out of the cart and started walking. It was probably a 1/2 mile back to the clubhouse, and we live 6-miles from the club too. i did NOT want to do this but i also knew i had to! And i decided that by the time i would be home, not only would i get my steps in for the day, but i would have worked out this anger too.

When i was gone about 5-minutes (not long), Sir texted me and said, “Do not EVER blame me again for something you did!”

Well…….. i knew i should’ve simply said, “Yes Sir” and left it alone. But i didn’t (🤭). Instead, i said, “i heard you the first time and i said ‘Yes Sir’ then and i was silent afterward. And then you tell me to walk home.” (Yeah… i know…. not smart!)

He wrote, “Yes I did! And do you have an issue with that?”

Again, the right answer would be, “No Sir” and be done… but nah…. that’s not my style….. sooooooo….. i wrote……

“YES i do! i did as i was told, yet, you are still mad and taking it out on me!”

And he wrote, “So you are refusing to submit?”

i wrote back, “So i AM doing as told, and i AM walking home. But YES, i do have an issue with it!”

And that’s when i just “had to add”……

“and when i pass out on the road – you have only yourself to blame!”

Yeah, i know…. i was COMPLETELY out of line…. but hey…. go big or go home…. oh, wait, i WAS going home! 🤣🤣🤣

And we texted no more.

i probably walked a mile from the course when he pulled up beside me. And i got in and we drove home in complete silence. (i was pretty grateful when drove up because i was pretty concerned if i’d be able to walk ALL the way home without bodily damage… aka: blisters, heat stroke, severe aches/pains. There IS a reason i want to Exercise… but three days in, i’m NOT in good shape…, yet!)

When we pulled in the driveway, he said, “Go inside and Assume The Position Immediately.”

And i did as i was told. Still in complete silence.

He came in and picked up the paddle and wasted NO time in getting to the point.

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

Three in a row. NO warm up AT ALL! All with such intensity that i was already cringing and moving around.

WHACK!

WHACK!

Five before he said a word! He asked me, “what makes you think that you only have to submit to me inside our home? “

WHACK!

“Why do you regularly test me and my authority when we leave home??”

WHACK!

“Do you think you are in charge and can only submit when YOU want to?”

WHACK!

Eight in. He never let up long enough for me to respond, so i wasn’t sure if i should try. But i was hyperventilating and felt the tears welling up. He has never hit with such intensity before. i was in shock and surprise.

While we DO have safe words and i debated using it today, i KNEW i HAD to accept this punishment in all that he would administer. So i know now that i will NEVER use those safe words. i don’t need to. i AM already safe. i trust Sir implicitly. i know he will give me what i need and deserve. i also know he will never abuse the power we have both agreed belongs to him. And i will always submit to everything he gives me!

WHACK!

When will it be over? Should i speak now? We’re all those questions rhetorical? We both know the answers already anyway!

WHACK!

Ten. Maybe that’s all.

He said, “Do you know who is in charge?”

This time, i did respond, “Yes Sir. You are.”

“Do you intend to submit 100% of the time from now on?”

“Yes Sir.”

WHACK!

Crap… more. i can barely breath or talk and the tears are in my eyes. How many more??

That’s when he stood me up and hugged me for a good long time….. fully until i was able to breathe again and completely calm. Then he said, “we are done. But you’ll do better in the future. Correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

And i put my head down and walked to the bathroom to shower and truly/completely recover.

That’s when i thought it was over…… And i was wrong!

He came in about 5-minutes later. i was still in the shower yet. And he said, “I didn’t get the impression you were truly remorseful. We may need to start all over.”

And he left.

That was confusing. Now what? Do i re-Assume The Position or not? Please no! My ass stings so badly and the shower water feels like it is spanking me too as i clean it!

But i got out of the shower, went to him, and said, “i am remorseful, but if you don’t think i have acted so, i will submit to a repeat session.”

And he looked me square in the eye and said, “I think we do! Let’s go! Right NOW!”

And he followed me in the bedroom. And we repeated it!

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

And just like that… the hyperventilating and tears returned.

After FIVE more and no pause or words in between, he said, “why did you slink off to the shower? You didn’t seem remorseful but rather still angry. Inappropriate!”

As i was trying to breathe, unsure if another lick was about to fall, and trying to compose myself and thoughts enough to speak…. i said, “i was feeling surprised, humiliated, and trying to stay out of more trouble by just keeping my head down.”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO is in control?”

“You are Sir!”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO?”

“You Sir. i’m so sorry Sir.”

WHACK!

“Say it again!”

“You are in control Sir and i am sorry Sir.”

Breathe….. prepare for another…. it isn’t coming…. he isn’t speaking….. wait….. breathe slower…. get a grip…..no more are falling, i think maybe it’s over….. this is a long pause….. i am nervous. But i WILL SUBMIT and simply wait!

He stood me up and looked at me.

i looked him in the eye and said, “i am sorry Sir. Thank you for the discipline and your leadership.”

He then said, “I now believe you are remorseful. Why didn’t you apologize the first time?”

“i was embarrassed. And surprised at your intensity. And at your commitment to being in charge. And i wasn’t sure how to respond exactly.”

“In the future, you look me in the eye and you thank me. You don’t slink off or put your head down. Or else we will repeat the punishment again and again until you do.”

“Yes Sir. i love you Sir.”

And he hugged me, and said, “I love you too!”

And it was (finally) over.

And now my ass is more sore than it has EVER been. It hurts to walk, sit, or stand. It is bruised. And it’s no wonder, with 24 very hard and fast whacks in a span of about 20-minutes.

i have NO doubt it will hurt still tomorrow too!

But… it’s over. And it’s ok. i am OK!

i actually respect him more. He is indeed in control. And i have NO doubt he will do what it takes to ensure order remains inside AND out of our house too!

Final words….. so while i names this post “worst spanking ever”…. ,Anne it was the “BEST spanking ever” because we had a break through. A lot changed today….namely: my perspective. And appreciation. And respect. For David. My Sir.

If i had any doubt before, i have NO doubt now……. he is indeed my Sir. And i will always very happily submit to him!

Final (final) words…. to DOMINANTS…… while i can’t speak for all submissives, it is my opinion that we respect you MORE for taking control and doing what needs to be done. Instead of giving a pass, letting something slide, or shying away from discipline altogether. Remember…. many of us, including me, asked you to implement this lifestyle. We know what we signed up for. Please do! Embrace it. Go all in!

And that’s how i feel…. more respect now than ever…. at least until the next time i sit down. JJ. Lol.

Hugs,

Marie

86 – out of town

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 86 – out of town

Our son is going out of town tomorrow for an overnight trip to the beach with friends. i hope Sir uses me to the best of his ability while our son is gone.

But it’s times like this that i get my hopes up, get all excited… get things in my own head (!!!) that are not in his. And i don’t exactly know how to tell him without topping from the bottom… but if i don’t find some way to tell him, i’ll likely end up being squirrelly-cranky by the end, which is likely to cause problems.

Pre-DD solutions……

And those “problems” in the past would have probably led to a fight. i can hear it in my head now….

David: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No, I didn’t tell you, but I assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when I dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why I was dressed (or not) the way I was.

David: I’m NOT a mind reader!

Me: And how exactly should I say, “hey, use me now?”

David: Just like that!

Me: Yes, but I wanted you to want me. Not me telling you to want (and use) me!

David: whatever. You are impossible to please!

(And now we use the silent treatment on one another for awhile and at some point apologize and it’s never discussed again. Leaving me disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat bitter that T-H-I-S wasn’t what I wanted at all!)

*** did you notice that David was not my Sir? Did you notice I was capitalized?

Post–DD solutions…..

Problems…. if i don’t find a way to tell him and he doesn’t think to use me and i do get squirrelly-crazy … this is how the problem would be solved:

Sir: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No Sir, i didn’t tell you, but i assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when i dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why i was dressed (or not) the way i was.

(Now to this point, it is exactly the same as before.. except now he’s my Sir and i am little)

Sir: So i have a few things to say and you will listen.

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: 1st, I am not a mind reader. 2nd, you know you are to dress sexy for me and in a way I like so that’s nothing new. 3rd, i have enjoyed seeing you in less clothing since it’s been unnecessary but I chose to look and enjoy in my way. As such, I have used you! And 4th and last, go assume the position because this assuming that you did, tell-me-after-the-fact how you feel, cranky attitude is never how we deal things now. If you’d found a way to N-O-T assume and to instead speak up earlier than now, this would not be ending this way. I’ll be there in a minute and you should be ready.

Me: Yes Sir

(Notice how he’s firmly in control, i am not, and the rules are pretty clear… and so are the consequences? And most importantly no fighting! And no lingering crankiness, grumpy, sulking ways.)

Back to now……

So knowing all this above… how do i tell him now to use me more than just for eye candy in the next 2-days rather than be sulky and lead to a red ass at the end … without topping from the bottom too? (i seriously struggle with this!)

Suggestions readily accepted…. but make it quick! (key is quick since this alone-time starts tomorrow!)

Hugs,

Marie

81 – Time will tell

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 81 – Time will tell

Sometimes i dream up scenarios in my head about how D/s with DD could go.

i don’t know if you’d call that a “fantasy” or not, but here’s one such fictional story that i imagined in my head today…….

BACKGROUND:

i have a chastity belt on order. And i just finished a 7-day Edging challenge. In truth, i am equally happy AND fearful of this chastity belt. i think i am fearful because of the unknown… i just don’t know what exactly to expect. Hence, why i think i dreamed you a scenario of how it “might” go.

So as i wait the arrival of the belt, i’ve thought about how it will feel, how often i will have to wear it, and how things with it will go.

NOW:

i specifically envisioned this conversation in my head…..

Sir: go to the bedroom and edge. Stop only long enough to ensure you don’t cross over the edge. Do NOT cum! And I’ll be there shortly.

Me: Yes Sir.

And i do as told. About 10-minutes later, Sir comes in. And sits on the bed beside me.

Sir: are you frustrated?

Me: Yes Sir. Can i cum now that you are here?

Sir: no. But you can stop edging.

i start to get up.

Sir: I never said you could get up. Lay back down and open your legs.

i do as told. He touches me and it feels SO good!

Me: Please Sir, may i pleaseeee cum?

Sir: NO!

And he stops the touching.

Sir: Now let’s get your belt on you for the day. I want you to want me. To hear you beg to let you cum. To make sure you know you only get to cum when I allow it. I want to get you to the place where I walk by you and your juices flow down your leg because you are so well trained to be wet for me, that I don’t even have to speak. And if I said “cum now” you would, without me even touching you! That is the goal my love!

Me: Yes Sir.

And he locks me up, and afterward twirls the key in his hand.

Sir: I guess you better hope I don’t lose this key now! Right?? And if you are my good girl, you’ll maybe get to cum tonight. But you have to be good, don’t you?

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: now kiss me, thank me, and get ready for work.

And i do as told.

TRUTH: i have no idea how this belt will go and that conversation above hasn’t happened. And in writing, it sounds hot. In practice, i may not like it too much. Time will tell.

Tick-Tock……..

Hugs,

Marie

70 – insecurity and reassurance needed

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 70 – insecurity and reassurance needed

If you think i am confident in my own skin, lifestyle, and person… you are mostly right, but like everyone, sometimes doubt creeps in and i question everything. Okay, maybe not “everything”, but still.

Today was one of those days.

i reallyyyyyyy like my nipple piercings. (If you haven’t already, read this post first — > Happy Birthday to Sir).

i did both of them. It didn’t hurt nearly like i expect either during or now after. In fact, they don’t really hurt at all sometimes and i forgot i even did it. And at its worst, i’d categorize the pain at a “level 2”, so not much. But today… i doubted myself.

The pain comes and goes and when at “level 2”, the pain is a throbbing feeling. i think it is the blood flow learning to move around differently and it causes some throbbing. i know this will ease and eventually that won’t even be a thing.

But as it was throbbing, i pulled my shirt down and looked at my pierced nipples. As in, REALLY LOOKED at them. And i found fault.

Not in the piercing itself, but everything else… here were my thoughts…..

“my nipples aren’t that big, the aureolas aren’t that big. Those bar bells look stupid being so big. Why did i do this?”

“i am almost 50-years old. This was not something that someone my age should have done. Will i die with these in? What will someone think when i am 70- with these in?”

“i acted irrationally and just ‘did this’ too quickly. i didn’t even think this through. Maybe i just did it to please Sir and i don’t even know if he ‘r-e-a-l-l-y’ likes them”

TIMEOUT….. in my not-so-deep-in-my-head moments…

While some of it is true… my boobs are large (38-D) but nips and aur’s are small(er), i DID think about the piercings a LOT. i did do it for me, and yes Sir too, but not JUST him), and I DO like them and i KNOW he loves them!

But yesterday, i was my own worst enemy and lost confidence and doubted my recent actions.

i was alone at the time, and that was probably my first problem! But it was also about the time when i got a text from Sir. It said, “I just got a 90-minute massage all focused on my back. In talking with the masseuse, she pierced her nipples the same day as you.”

And then a pic of her pierced nipples came through too.

Now some of you may be wondering about his fidelity to me, why was he looking at her nips, etc. but that’s not what this post is about and i wasn’t the least bit concerned about that. i’ll address that another day.

What’s more is… i didn’t even think about the fact that he had a pic of her, that he was actually talking about mine, nothing.

What i focused on when i saw that pic was all the things that i was not. She had about the same size breasts as me, but larger nipples. And her jewelry had pink barbells, where mine is just ordinary plain silver. And i decided i liked hers more and got even more “upset” with myself in the process.

Sir had NO idea i was “in my head” at the time. He has been known to tell me, “get out of your head and join us in the real world.” And had he known what i was doing and thinking at the time, he likely would’ve said this to me.

i texted him back and said, “hers look better than mine with her larger nipples. i’ve never liked my smaller nipples and i don’t know that the piercings look as good on me as they do on her.”

He immediately wrote back, “I like yours. I have always liked yours and they look even better now with the piercings! She likes yours too. She basically said the same about yours as you did about hers.” (We took “before and after” pics of mine…..and if i get brave enough and David approves for me to ever show a pic of myself on here, i will show you…. but not now…sorry!. But he definitely must’ve showed her those pics of me).

TIMEOUT again…………

So this is where i truly sat back, rewound, and gave this whole situation more thought……..

Sir is CLEARLY …..V-E-R-Y … happy with ME…. before piercings and even more after! So much so, he is talking to a masseuse he just met, when he’s not with me, and “I” am on his mind! (i capitalized that “I” to emphasize that “I” was who he was thinking about. “I” was who he’s talking about. And “I” am who he is in love with!)

When i responded to his text, i just said, “really?” And he said, “YES. Are you doubting me?”

And i thought to myself, “No, i was actually doubting myself.”

Reassurance …. sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it comes in ways we wouldn’t expect (getting a text of another woman’s pierced nipples). Sometimes it comes when we need it most (when he talks about me to a complete stranger – Because he’s in love with ME and then tells me about it). Sometimes it’s in his touch (when he got home, while he knows he can’t touch the piercings until they are healed or it could risk infection, he instead cupped my breasts and squeezed the bottom sides and smiled big at me….. then proceeded to kiss me with passion and desire… like a “you are mine, ownership” desire.

And suddenly, i was in love with my nipples and the piercings they hold. And of course, my David. My husband, HoH, lover, and best friend!

(And btw… after the healing occurs, in about 2-months, i’ll change out the jewelry to pretty-pretty stuff…. maybe hoops that he can attach a chain from the nips to the clit…. 😋🙋‍♀️🥰😍☺️)

Hugs,

Marie

61 – who would volunteer?

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 61 – who would volunteer?

One question i find to be a bit silly is “do we need to have an attitude adjustment?”

When i was asked this as a kid and now as a submissive wife in a DD relationship, i know that the “attitude adjustment” is punishment…. aka: spanking.

Who would ever say, “why Y-E-S, we do need an attitude adjustment!” Let’s go get that done now!”

🧐🧐🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔

i mean seriously, if you think i need an attitude adjustment.. just do it already. But maybe it was just an opportunity to change my behavior before HE decided i needed an attitude adjustment. Either way……

No. Not me.

So guess what i said today when asked that? NO. Capitalized. But not rude. Just firm.

Just curious … what do YOU say?!?!

Hugs,

Marie