While i’ve mentioned this, i haven’t talked too much about this week’s challenge or you could call it an assigned task. That was intentional because i was busy distracting myself from it with my Memoir story(s). But it’s never too far away either. 21-times, 7 days = edging. TO-THE-VERY-EDGE!
i am sooooo tempted to go over the edge. And i’m equally soooooo trying to obey. But Sir is making it hard. Intentionally. This is a fun game this week he is playing with me.
He said, “this will strengthen your self-discipline to listen and obey. It will also make you want me even more.”
Let’s just say it’s working!
The first night, he made me edge while watching a 30-minute porn video. He read his book while watching me. The girl in the video got to cum at the end. i did not. Sir kept saying, “don’t you dare cum!” all throughout. And when the porn star did, he asked me if i was jealous. (Uh, yeah!)
The second night, he played with my clit until i was so close to orgasm i arched my back and closed my eyes, which is when he slapped his hand down several times on my clit and said, “NO CUMMING for you.” It hurt! It definitely took me OFF the edge…. Until he resumed the process. Again and again.
The third night i had to get the remote control egg, turn it on, put it inside, and give him the remote. He turned it on and off most of the evening. All during dinner, watching tv, and of course getting ready for bed. Every time he could see me getting close, it went off. For about 10-minutes. And then it went back on. Over and over.
The fourth night has been the cruelest yet. He turned on porn again, got out the inflatable dildo and pushed it inside me. Then he pumped it up a few times, and told me to “move it in and out, make it fuck you… but remember… NO CUMMING!” That’s when he took off his clothes, laid on the bed, and masturbated beside me. He said, “look we are doing it together.” And laughed.
i asked if he’d put it in my puss and use me, and he said, “no, you might cum that way.” So i asked about my ass, and he said, “no, you’d cum that way too,”. And he proceeded to masturbate until he came. He kissed me and told me i was a good girl to use the dildo without cumming, and to stop and clean up and ready for bed.
Then on the 5th morning i was surprised to find my natural body-lubricating fluid dripping down my leg when he turned on the electric razor and it sounded like a vibrator. Pavlov’s dogs at its finest!
His last words to me every night are, “NO CUMMING”. And his last words in the morning before leaving are, “Be a Good Girl today!” And we both know what that’s intended to mean too.
To which i typically just say, “Yes Sir.”
Although this morning after he said it, i said, “Yes Sir… i know….”
He then said, “you said that with an attitude. Watch the tone! You can get as frustrated as you want, but pouting it inappropriate. Don’t think for a minute I won’t extend this for another week if I have to.”
i am beyond (sexually) frustrated. i was pretty cranky about this on Day 2 and i guess again today really with that smart-ass comment. i have to remind myself that this is good discipline and training. Everything good in life is worth waiting for. And to change my attitude. To be happy that i have a Sir wiling to care and love me so much he spends time with me, gives me instructions, and guidance to be a better submissive wife.
Tonight i was seriously trying to intentionally be positive about this and in doing so, i passed a test that i didn’t even know i had! Sir decided to masturbate… and cum… again. i didn’t know it, but he made sure to tell me.
When i said, “you didn’t use me. Why didn’t you have me help?” He said, “I was being selfish… because I can. What are you going to do about it??? I did get off to the thought of my ability to orgasm and your lack of it.”
i wasn’t sure what to say, so i just said, “i am happy to hear you were thinking of me. Thank you Sir.”
That’s when he added, “are you jealous?”
i responded with, “yes Sir. i really want to cum, but i know you know that. i’m just grateful you are my Dominant and you were thinking of me.”
That’s when he told me it was a test to see if i was going to pout, complain, whine, or otherwise be ungrateful. And if i had been, the time was going to be extended! But because i passed, i am scheduled to be done in 4-more-edging events… one more tonight, and 3-tomorrow. i feel sure Sir will allow me to cum this time tomorrow…. 24-hours and counting!!
So while i haven’t wanted these tests, i know it’s working! i am more submissive than i’ve been in awhile (overall, save the frustration part of course!) and i am doing it with love and kindness in my actions, thoughts, and words!
i even sent him this picture:
And told him “while we haven’t really been into positions much before, you know if you want to, you just need to let me know. And then after that, you can get me into whatever position you want in order to, say, service your cock.”
(We haven’t been into positions because it’s a challenge to do when you have a kid at home!)
i said, “if you want to, you could say for example, ‘get ready to please’, take my cock from my pants, and suck it until I tell you to stop”.
And i added, “you can just start telling me to kneel because it shows respect. Period. No other reason!”
And he said, “I think we’ll have to start that!”
So – yes – as much as i don’t want to admit it, edging is working as intended! i am more submissive than ever, wanting to please him more than ever, and hoping he will use me to make him happy – which will all make me extremely happy in the end!
i just want to cum already! 😩