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Tag: husband in control

101 – consequences just don’t matter

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When our son was little (and long before D/s or DD…..and before “submission” was a word in my everyday vocabulary!) there was a family of 4-daughters who lived directly across the street. They made for amazing babysitters and it was just so absolutely wonderful, not to mention convenient!

Once when the oldest was over babysitting, she and i were chatting for a minute and i happened to ask her what her plans were for the rest of the weekend.

She said, “Unpack, wash/dry, and put away all the clothes and toiletries, plus my suitcase from our trip.” (They had just been back the day before from a 2-week long vacation.)

i remember commenting that was a lot considering they had JUST gotten back. And she said, “that’s what Dad said was the deadline. So I’ll get it done.”

That’s when i was curious, so i asked her, “what if you don’t?”

And she had a confused look about her and said, “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

i clarified and said, “well, what if you get busy or something comes up and you just don’t get it all cleaned and put away. What will happen?”

She said, “oh I’ll get it done. Nothing will get in the way of that.”

And i pressed her on it and said, “but what if you don’t?”

She just looked at me and squarely said, “I have no idea. Because it won’t happen. I WILL get it done because when my Dad tells me to do something, I do it. So the consequences are irrelevant.”

i remember being surprised that a teenager wouldn’t know what happened when she disobeyed. But the fact that she didn’t know, told me she submitted to her father’s authority and consequences were indeed irrelevant because she would never dream of committing the unthinkable.

Now as a submissive wife, i can look back on this and completely see where her head was at. This is basically true for me now too.

i wore a chastity belt to sleep, despite having the key. Despite knowing i could unlock myself if i really wanted to. But i didn’t. Why? Because i wanted to submit and to obey my husband’s wishes. i really don’t know what the ultimate consequences had been if i had unlocked myself (without good reason constituting an “emergency”).

There’s NO reason to know the consequences if they just don’t matter. Because knowing (or needing to know) the consequences is (IMO) akin to weighing your options… “how bad would it be if i DON’T do what i’m supposed to do?” With the ultimate thought basically being, “if the consequences aren’t too bad, then it won’t matter if i break the rule(s). And i just might do it!”

But that’s not how i want to think or to be. Being a true submissive wife calls for me to WANT to do what’s right and what he wants me to do. As opposed to me doing only what i want to do …. based on how bad the consequences are or what punishment i’m willing to endure (that day).

All this does is leads to strife. And too much strife in anyone’s life is just ….. “too much”. And that can and often does lead to bitterness, resentment, and turning away…. which can lead to a miserable life together OR divorce to find a better life apart.

So a submissive wife is one who wants to do right by him and doesn’t care what the consequences are. Because ultimately, the consequences just don’t matter as she won’t do it anyway……because in her mind…. it’s not an option.

And if i still fail to do what i’m supposed to…. DD will happen. Spanking. Domestic discipline enacted.

Why? Because we’ve made it where the consequences DO matter … we won’t “just” get in a fight…. there will be more!

And i accept it.

Hugs,

Marie

91 – what does it feel like?

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i get asked this question a lot….. with many things….. and of course, most recently with the chastity. But previously with getting nipples pierced. And frequently and quite regularly with spanking. And always with submission-in-general.

With the exception of the “submission,” i don’t think the question is aimed at asking how i feel emotionally, but rather how does it feel physically.

i suppose much of how i write is more about the emotional than the physical, but even then, sometimes it’s more from an objective standpoint than a “me” standpoint. For example, “i received a harsh spanking but i did xyz…”. That statement is rather objective and i don’t exactly say how it felt… either physical or emotional.

So i guess i can appreciate why i get asked to describe more of the feeling of things. So i’ll describe the physical AND the emotional FEELING…..

So i’ll just start with……..

CHASTITY….

Physical:

First off, i want to make it clear that it does NOT hurt. At all.

It is (somewhat) uncomfortable as it is tight and unforgiving in the restriction it imposed. But that’s the whole idea and how it’s supposed to be too!

Because it is steel, it moves as one full unit. Meaning, if you press on the back, the front moves and the same with side to side too.

i can’t get into or out of it by myself. Because it is metal, it is stiff. And all 3 of the prongs/parts have to come together and held in place, while the lock is put on. And logistically, it takes 2-hands to hold it in place and one more to apply the lock. Oh probably after some effort, i suppose i could get it on and off by myself but it wouldn’t be easy.

i suppose the difficulty comes from it being so tight. But if it weren’t so tight though, it wouldn’t do what it is supposed to: restrict access.

Now don’t misunderstand, it’s not so tight that i can’t breath, move, walk, or talk. It’s not those things, remember i already said, “it does NOT hurt.”

It does restrict access, specifically to my clit and any penetration of my puss. i suppose if i suck in air and my stomach with it, i could get my fingers between the metal and my clit. But as soon as i breath out, it would squeeze my fingers and likely cause pain. So trying to do that long enough to achieve orgasm is NOT likely!

Sir has frequently told me i touch myself way too much and i needed to control it. But …. the temptation has been too great for far too long.

In fact, touching myself without permission was the reason for a spanking gone wrong. Admittedly, i don’t touch my breasts or ass, so this is truly achieving what he wants….. controlling my ability to touch, pleasure, or orgasm without permission.

Going to the bathroom is a bit strange. i lift my dress and sit down. Because the Chastity is stainless steel and designed for 24/7 use, there is a hole in the back for poo and a grate in the front for pee. But sitting down on the toilet with the equivalent of (hard, tight, metal) panties still on and to relax enough to pee is a bit of a mental game for sure. But it does work really easily after i relax. The biggest challenge is wiping… the metal first, the sides next, and then the back. And when i don’t do it well enough, it drips down my leg. It takes a lot more time but it seems to be working.

i haven’t taken a shower with it on so i have no idea about that……

Mentally:

The chastity belt is a constant reminder that my body isn’t mine to control.

It’s kinda strange to put my hand in front of me and feel hard metal instead of soft skin, but again, a very constant and continual reminder that i should not be pleasuring myself at all. So it is both simultaneously (mentally) stimulating AND forcing me to think about other things too.

Typically when our son isn’t around and i have no panties on, i find ways to lower my puss onto Sir’s knee and seductively ask, “you want to touch it? You want to make it cum?”

But not today. Today, locked in chastity, we have talked about very non-seductive things…. tv shows, plans for dinner, what work holds this week, craft projects i have in the works, etc.

i have always loved enticing David to touch me and hoping that it was making him happy.

But in a lot of ways, i can see now (while in chastity) that those “enticements” were me putting suggestions in David’s head and it was ultimately about ME. It was me telling myself i was being submissive, because i ultimately gave him the choice to touch me or not. But that wasn’t really true, was it?

TODAY…..

Today i have been in chastity since getting out of the shower at 8:00 am and it is now approaching bed time ….more than 12-consecutive-hours.

Day 1 was only a few hours, yesterday.

Day 2 has been a very long time, today.

Even after all these hours, what i wrote above is true…. it doesn’t hurt, but a bit uncomfortable, not so unbearable i want it off. And the longer it goes, the more i am submissive in my mindset too!

Earlier in the afternoon, Sir did reach up and put his hand under my dress and tease the sides of my labia with his hand and said, “too bad you are all covered up and not possible to play with! I might’ve let you cum!”

i said, “if you want me to take it off, i can…..” (although as noted above, i probably can’t really get out of it on my own…..A-N-D……. i am NOT the one who holds the key anyway!!)

He said, “Noooooooo……If I wanted you out, I’d get you out! There’s no reason to get you out.”

And he walked away.

Later in the afternoon, Sir told me to do something and i immediately responded with, “but that’s not right…. blah blah”

And he cut me off and said, “Marie! You need to listen to me!” i immediately responded with, “i’m sorry Sir” and wished i wasn’t so quick to have responded.

He looked at me and smiled saying, “do you feel sufficiently chastised??”

i responded with, “oh yes, most definitely!”

He knew the double meaning when he used the word “chastised” and it was intentional! We both laughed.

Then as i was dressing for bed, Sir said, “you have a choice…. sleep with it in or take it off and get to cum.”

i cringed. i don’t like these types of choices. i don’t know what the “right” answer is. And i told him so.

He said, “There’s no right or wrong answer. I want to see how you’ll respond. Do what you want here.”

And i asked to be unlocked.

And to cum.

And i got it! At his hand. Not mine.

So i’m not sure how much i’ll ultimately wear it …. in any given day or how many days in general. Sir has made it clear it won’t be worn “permanently,” or “indefinitely”, but now today after having been in chastity all day, i can see the benefits of it and would willingly submit both my body and my mind to it regularly!

Maybe i’ll get to wear it overnight someday ….. and test my ultimate endurance….. but even then, i am NOT in control…. of anything. And it is VERY obvious to me while i AM in chastity!

The rest of the topics?!? Well… that will make good blog topics in the next few days. So, i’ll just end this here…..

While i’m unclear about the ultimate plan, i am happy to not know and to just submit!

Hugs,

Marie

88 – It Has Arrived

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 88 – It Has Arrived

The chastity belt. It came in the mail today.

i won’t deny, the idea of it was hot. When i looked at it, live and in-person, it is a bit overwhelming. Ok, actually, i’m going to scratch the word “a bit”and replace it with “a lot!”

It did take some time to get it all set up and fitted properly. Then i cleaned it… i mean, it is about to be worn right up next to my private parts, so ya know… cleanliness is key.

And then i sat it on the bathroom countertop.

And i walked away.

Sir said, “Put it on. Lock it up!”

And i said, “maybe we should wait to try this out this weekend.” (Today being Thursday).

He agreed. And i felt relief flood in!

It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. In fact, as i was getting it adjusted to fit properly, it really was more comfortable than i anticipated actually.

It just looks more intimidating, more threatening, more than i bargained for, more than i expected…. in fact, maybe just stop with the word “more” and that’s a good description right there!

i mean, i will wear it. i will adjust to it. Just like i adjusted to no bra, no panties, and now… a chastity belt.

It has a steel grate in front to allow pee and a hole in back to allow poo, so in theory, it can be worn all-the-time. And there will be NO touching because there’s just not that much room!

i don’t know yet if it is no to be permanent/ wear all the time. Or just when we focus on orgasm control and edging type things. Or when i get in trouble as punishment.

i just need time to swallow down the fear of “what if”…. something goes wrong, i need to get out of it, someone figures out what i am wearing, it it hurts, it’s too tight, etc etc.

There’s really just SO many unknowns!

Maybe i need to show it some TLC and bond with it… maybe give it a name… i mean, it is about to become a part of me. So maybe by naming it, i’ll kinda “own it” and make it be “mine”.

Let’s see…. maybe TRex. It is big and intimidating. Or Steely. It is made of steel and there’s NO wearing it through any scanner/security without setting off all sorts of alarms! Or ….uhm…. i dunno….. you got any suggestions?

So i’ll just let it sit there until tomorrow after work… and maybe even Saturday morning too….

And then i’m quite sure i’ll end up putting it on, applying the lock, and handing Sir the key. To which i am sure he will smile.

Hugs,

Marie

87 – Got my wish

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Sir used me in a way that pleased us both!

And i didn’t say a word to him. i just decided to trust him and be happy in it. No matter what came of it…. or didn’t. And he allowed me to orgasm over and over.

(Thank you D for your comments… it made me think about trust, about letting him be in control, and about the sub mindset…. and i appreciated it so very much!)

i’m very pleasantly happy as i go to sleep!

Hugs,

Marie

86 – out of town

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Our son is going out of town tomorrow for an overnight trip to the beach with friends. i hope Sir uses me to the best of his ability while our son is gone.

But it’s times like this that i get my hopes up, get all excited… get things in my own head (!!!) that are not in his. And i don’t exactly know how to tell him without topping from the bottom… but if i don’t find some way to tell him, i’ll likely end up being squirrelly-cranky by the end, which is likely to cause problems.

Pre-DD solutions……

And those “problems” in the past would have probably led to a fight. i can hear it in my head now….

David: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No, I didn’t tell you, but I assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when I dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why I was dressed (or not) the way I was.

David: I’m NOT a mind reader!

Me: And how exactly should I say, “hey, use me now?”

David: Just like that!

Me: Yes, but I wanted you to want me. Not me telling you to want (and use) me!

David: whatever. You are impossible to please!

(And now we use the silent treatment on one another for awhile and at some point apologize and it’s never discussed again. Leaving me disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat bitter that T-H-I-S wasn’t what I wanted at all!)

*** did you notice that David was not my Sir? Did you notice I was capitalized?

Post–DD solutions…..

Problems…. if i don’t find a way to tell him and he doesn’t think to use me and i do get squirrelly-crazy … this is how the problem would be solved:

Sir: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No Sir, i didn’t tell you, but i assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when i dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why i was dressed (or not) the way i was.

(Now to this point, it is exactly the same as before.. except now he’s my Sir and i am little)

Sir: So i have a few things to say and you will listen.

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: 1st, I am not a mind reader. 2nd, you know you are to dress sexy for me and in a way I like so that’s nothing new. 3rd, i have enjoyed seeing you in less clothing since it’s been unnecessary but I chose to look and enjoy in my way. As such, I have used you! And 4th and last, go assume the position because this assuming that you did, tell-me-after-the-fact how you feel, cranky attitude is never how we deal things now. If you’d found a way to N-O-T assume and to instead speak up earlier than now, this would not be ending this way. I’ll be there in a minute and you should be ready.

Me: Yes Sir

(Notice how he’s firmly in control, i am not, and the rules are pretty clear… and so are the consequences? And most importantly no fighting! And no lingering crankiness, grumpy, sulking ways.)

Back to now……

So knowing all this above… how do i tell him now to use me more than just for eye candy in the next 2-days rather than be sulky and lead to a red ass at the end … without topping from the bottom too? (i seriously struggle with this!)

Suggestions readily accepted…. but make it quick! (key is quick since this alone-time starts tomorrow!)

Hugs,

Marie