101 – consequences just don’t matter

When our son was little (and long before D/s or DD…..and before “submission” was a word in my everyday vocabulary!) there was a family of 4-daughters who lived directly across the street. They made for amazing babysitters and it was just so absolutely wonderful, not to mention convenient!

Once when the oldest was over babysitting, she and i were chatting for a minute and i happened to ask her what her plans were for the rest of the weekend.

She said, “Unpack, wash/dry, and put away all the clothes and toiletries, plus my suitcase from our trip.” (They had just been back the day before from a 2-week long vacation.)

i remember commenting that was a lot considering they had JUST gotten back. And she said, “that’s what Dad said was the deadline. So I’ll get it done.”

That’s when i was curious, so i asked her, “what if you don’t?”

And she had a confused look about her and said, “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

i clarified and said, “well, what if you get busy or something comes up and you just don’t get it all cleaned and put away. What will happen?”

She said, “oh I’ll get it done. Nothing will get in the way of that.”

And i pressed her on it and said, “but what if you don’t?”

She just looked at me and squarely said, “I have no idea. Because it won’t happen. I WILL get it done because when my Dad tells me to do something, I do it. So the consequences are irrelevant.”

i remember being surprised that a teenager wouldn’t know what happened when she disobeyed. But the fact that she didn’t know, told me she submitted to her father’s authority and consequences were indeed irrelevant because she would never dream of committing the unthinkable.

Now as a submissive wife, i can look back on this and completely see where her head was at. This is basically true for me now too.

i wore a chastity belt to sleep, despite having the key. Despite knowing i could unlock myself if i really wanted to. But i didn’t. Why? Because i wanted to submit and to obey my husband’s wishes. i really don’t know what the ultimate consequences had been if i had unlocked myself (without good reason constituting an “emergency”).

There’s NO reason to know the consequences if they just don’t matter. Because knowing (or needing to know) the consequences is (IMO) akin to weighing your options… “how bad would it be if i DON’T do what i’m supposed to do?” With the ultimate thought basically being, “if the consequences aren’t too bad, then it won’t matter if i break the rule(s). And i just might do it!”

But that’s not how i want to think or to be. Being a true submissive wife calls for me to WANT to do what’s right and what he wants me to do. As opposed to me doing only what i want to do …. based on how bad the consequences are or what punishment i’m willing to endure (that day).

All this does is leads to strife. And too much strife in anyone’s life is just ….. “too much”. And that can and often does lead to bitterness, resentment, and turning away…. which can lead to a miserable life together OR divorce to find a better life apart.

So a submissive wife is one who wants to do right by him and doesn’t care what the consequences are. Because ultimately, the consequences just don’t matter as she won’t do it anyway……because in her mind…. it’s not an option.

And if i still fail to do what i’m supposed to…. DD will happen. Spanking. Domestic discipline enacted.

Why? Because we’ve made it where the consequences DO matter … we won’t “just” get in a fight…. there will be more!

And i accept it.




  1. I have to confess when I am not entirely in my submissive heartset, sometimes I obey because the consequences to me, how I feel about myself if I do not, still overrule his disappointment in me. If I am standing on my submissive bullseye well then it is all about him 😉

    There could be another reason why this young girl might not care about the consequences, even if she believes there would be none. She truly believes that obeying her father is very important to him. That is a very, very powerful insensitive . I find that most people have the desire to please others, especially those who identify with being submissive, so a person being disappointed in you can certainly be enough for many people to achieve what is required of them. Unlike this girl, some of us need to see things via action before we believe and then the once the belief is really there, it is easier to follow/obey

    Let’s take your chastity belt for an example. David’s instructions to put on the chastity belt (perhaps) signified to you that you not masturbating was important to him. And yes I suppose you could have gotten the key, but why would you? He has reinforced his desire for you to obey by making it (almost) impossible for you not to. Now if he just said, don’t touch yourself or worse nothing at all, would your drive to please him keep you from doing that? Maybe, maybe not. For me at least, the fact that he made an effort makes his rule seem more believably important to him and therefore me.

    I have noticed in both my dynamic, and others that after a few years there does seem to be a time, whether due to health, life circumstances or something we can’t put our finger on, that this dynamic can stall or pause for a bit- at the very least not running on the full throttle for the submissive like it did. During times like that it is common for the submissive to feel that their obedience in some areas really doesn’t seem that important to their Dominants. It eventually ( hopefully) gets cleared up, but before that happens often the Dominant has to implement the consequences in full force so the submissive believes again that s/he requires their submission. I don’t believe many of them question their ability to submit during these times, but you will hear, “What’s the point” thrown about. Not because they WANT the consequences but more because they want to believe again that this dynamic is equally as important to their Dominant.

    Sorry for the ramble. LOL. I just basically wanted to say that while having the ideal mindset that consequences don’t matter, or shouldn’t, and it is something we all strive for, it is much easier to do so if we believe there are. Not because we want them ( though some do) but because it is a reinforcement in our minds to THEIR commitment to our dynamic and submission.


    • Willie, you gave me a different perspective here with these comments. I guess maybe I should’ve said something like, “I know there are consequences, but they entail or how severe, that definitely does not matter…. but sometimes whether they even exist doesn’t matter.” I love your comments and insight! Marie

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