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229 – Caned on Christmas!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 12 Comments on 229 – Caned on Christmas!

i think it’s been nearly a year ago that we bought a cane. When i say we, i really mean ME! i was fascinated by it and wanted to know what it felt like. i wanted to know if it was better, worse, or just different than the paddle.

i asked David if i could buy one and he agreed. If i remember correctly, his words were something like, “be careful what you wish for.” And i (naively) said, “challenge accepted!” and i was super excited and got a cane.

We used it a couple of times for pure fun. David discovered how silent it was. He threatened to use it on vacations or at other similar times where silence (or near silence) is necessary to spank me for discipline reasons. i say “he threatened,” because we have not taken it out of town with us, nor have i otherwise been disciplined with it…. ever… until today!

After feeling the cane the first time, i decided i liked it better than the paddle.

In terms of how it compares to the paddle, it is actually a bit of a similar feeling. i wouldn’t exactly call it pain, but rather a stinging feel. The biggest difference is the coverage of my ass. The cane is extremely localized as the cane itself is quite thin, compared to the paddle that pretty much covers my entire ass in one smack as it is just bigger.

To better describe the feel, the best analogy i can think of is that the paddle is like the stinging you feel when your foot falls asleep and then try to walk on it immediately after. When your foot falls asleep, it hurts to stand up on it as it feels like needles are stinging all over. Of course, when your foot wakes up, the stinging subsides and eventually stops. That’s where the analogy breaks down because with the paddle, the sting builds more and more rather than dissipating. Oh eventually it does dissipate, but that is (typically hours) later and only after the intensity had of course amped up, not immediately down.

To better describe the cane, it feels like a bee sting. It is localized and specific in the coverage, but the actual stinging feel is the same really.

That was at least how i thought of the cane….until today. Today, changed my opinion of it. As i realized that a for-fun caning and a for-discipline caning are NOT the same!

But i suppose that ultimately, until today, i did not respect the cane the way i should have. Now i do!

i now think i ultimately decided before that i liked the cane better because it takes longer to feel the sting all over because of the localized feel. It takes longer to feel the sting on the entire land space of my ass. (i don’t have a big ass, but when i describe the paddle and cane here, it sounds like my rear is ginormous!). But little stings can be super intense and super stingy (is that a word?) even without the coverage. And today, i felt the true cane’s impact.

SO WHAT HAPPENED ANYWAY?

Ok, alright…. i will tell you….

Today did not start out as the Merry Christmas it should have been! But the holiday is ending super well, so all’s well that ends well.

SO WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY?

Well… so… this morning David’s parents called his phone to wish us a Merry Christmas and thank us for the gifts we sent. He put the phone on speaker and started talking to my in-laws, whom i love and adore.

Well…. As they must’ve also been on their speaker phone, both of them started talking while David was too. They were having a lovely conversation wishing Merry Christmas’, thanking for the gifts we sent, and describing what else they also received. And i really had no opportunity to speak but i knew i should too.

When they asked about what i received (new clothes), David pushed me from behind onto my shoulder. If i had been standing, it would’ve been like he was pressing me forward but of course i was seated. Instead of me speaking and answering though, before i even knew it, they were saying other stuff and then soon after hanging up, where I said absolutely nothing. i never even wished them a Merry Christmas or said goodbye.

i didn’t intend to NOT speak at ALL to them, but i guess I didn’t really try too hard to speak either.

David IMMEDIATELY came around in front of me and was angry. He said, “THAT was incredibly rude! Go to the bedroom. N-O-W!”

i stuttered. i tried to start into an explanation about why i didn’t speak. But the same as my words to his parents never materialized, neither did my words to him! Not that he even cared then because of course, the time to speak had passed.

Instead of me speaking or him listening, he spoke. He said, “I don’t care W-H-Y you didn’t speak. You didn’t try hard enough. Not a single word came out. GO! NOW!”

He was angry! As you might think he would be!

He followed me to the bedroom. As i got undressed and into position (on the bed with a pillow under my hips raising my rear higher in the air, and my head-shoulders-arms on the bed), he went to get what i thought at the time was the paddle but i soon found out it was the cane.

Our son was in the house and this was the first time ever that he intended to spank me when our son would hear. The paddle is rather noisy, but then so am i too! But sound wouldn’t be a problem with the cane. There would be none, unless it was from my lips, which i refused to do and we both knew it.

You might would think i would be afraid…. i mean, David was angry! But i wasn’t afraid. i never am.

i KNOW David is a good man and will NEVER hurt me more than i deserve. He will never abuse his power of authority, but rather enforce it to the extent needed. And he is ALWAYS in control of himself. i have only ever, in 25-years of being with him, seen him out of control twice. And even then, he regained his composure about as quickly as he lost it.

As immediately as i was in position, i felt the thwack of the cane. i didn’t hear the swish sound in the air. Probably because i wasn’t listening or anticipating it. But i sure as hell felt it!

He swung the cane with ease, but in full control and with intention to cause pain and regret. It collided easily with my ass and i immediately knew David’s plan. i had never had a discipline spanking from the cane, but i was about to now!

He swung the cane the second time and it swished in the air. i heard it this time and one second later i felt it too.

Many times in a row, he moved it up and down my ass and the more i felt it hit my rear, the more pain i felt.

At first he didn’t speak, which made me even more unsettled and upset. That was when i started talking to explain why I didn’t speak, he then started to talk to me about how rude i had been. And that i shouldn’t have been. And that i knew better.

And He was right.

Thwack! Thwack!

i began to squirm unmercifully. My head/shoulders came up off the bed. He said, “Get back in position!” in a voice that was uncannily calm, which unsettled me further.

i did as i was told.

Swish, Thwack! Squish, Thwack!

i heard myself saying, “i can’t take anymore” in no time at all.

He said, “you know what you have to say for this to stop!”

“I’M SORRY SIR.”

Swish….

Thwack, Thwack, Thwack!

“i know i should have spoken. i just didn’t. They were talking. You were talking. And i didn’t try hard enough. i am so sorry Sir.”

“Will this ever happen again?”

Thwack!!!

“NO SIR!”

Thwack!

“Are you sure?”

“YES SIR!”

Thwack! Thwack!

“Done. I believe you are remorseful. You are now done.“

He pulled me upright and he kissed me. He told me he loved me. And then said, “now let’s go get ready for Christmas lunch. Merry Christmas!”

And almost like it was on cue, my sister and her family walked into our house (the front door, not my bedroom door), our son came down the stairs, David went back to finishing our meal, and the merriment truly began.

i struggled to act completely “normal” as i greeted her family, but thankfully the holiday activities quickly provided a natural diversion. We started to open presents, and talk, all while my ass was stinging so badly and i just wanted the heat to dissipate!

i opened my presents standing up. i was able to make it look natural as my presents were on the coffee table too.

Only one other reference was made to the situation or the spanking the rest of the day when David quietly asked me one time when it was just he and i, “how are you feeling?”

i knew he was meaning to ask about my ass. I said, “sore. But it’s ok. It was needed.”

And he said, “and you accepted it like a good girl.”

i NEVER want to feel the cane again as a discipline. And i’m pretty certain David knows that now too, which makes me sure the cane will be his go-to punishment spanking implement now.

i had COMPLETELY underestimated the power of the cane! Never again!

My rear end has been sore all day, as a constant reminder of my submission. And while i don’t want to repeat that event ever, i am happy.

My day, my family, and my gifts were all wonderful. Including the gift of my husband teaching me a lesson i needed to learn. And of course, the gift of Jesus being the best of all!

Merry Christmas!

Hugs,

Marie

228 – Hidden in plain sight

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 228 – Hidden in plain sight

Sometimes Submission is obvious. When you know what it looks like. Frequently though, people are not looking or aware.

i walk through the grocery store with David and to anyone knowing what a submissive wife looks like, you’d see it plainly when looking at me as we walk together.

Then there’s the non-submissive wives (or husbands) that anyone can see too. NO criticism, just saying they are obvious to me too.

Those are usually the couples who are bickering or even fighting about this or that as they go through the store. They are the ones who can’t seem to agree whether $2.99 for a lb of grapes is reasonable or not. i would tell you one of the biggest reasons to submit is because of the harmony it creates. Life is so much more enjoyable when it is done with joy and harmony. (i wouldn’t argue with David if he said that was too much for grapes. i would simply say “ok” and that’s that!)

And the opposite is true too. i walk through the store watching others as we go, and i see submissiveness in others. When i see another submissive wife, we usually make eye contact, smile, and it signifies the other know how much we approve of one another.

It’s clear if you know what to look for AND you are paying attention. And if you do not or are not paying attention, a D/s relationship becomes hidden in plain sight.

So what does a submissive wife look like in the grocery store anyway? That’s an easy question to answer, because it’s me! i will just tell you how i look and act in the store!

First i will tell you how i look.

In the spirit of A-L-W-A-Y-S have something in or on my body as a reminder of my submission, today i asked David as i was getting dressing, “open or closed?”

He was confused and asked, “what?”

i smiled and said, “Today i was thinking i should either wear the crotchless pants or the chastity belt as the submissive item of the day. So my puss would either be very open or very closed, which would you prefer?”

He smiled at me and said, “while I think you need to have it locked up, I want to have it open today.” So open it should be!

i am physically dressed today with my stretch, yoga-style pants, that have no crotch. There is an opening from the very front to the very back. On my top, i wear a shirt that is extra long, which is more than enough to cover myself. It has a (relatively) deep V-cut neckline, but not too deep. It shows just the top edge of the crevice between each breast, giving a bit of a tease to any onlooker yet leaving much to the imagination too. And lastly, i wear two pieces of jewelry: my wedding ring and a stylish silver choker collar.

There is no bra, and of course, no panties either. There would be absolutely no point in wearing panties with crotchless pants, right?!

When you lay your eyes on me, if you were observant you would likely notice my nipples poking through my shirt, or maybe not. You may also notice my necklace, or maybe not as well. Both are in plain sight. Of course, most people either don’t see or if they do, don’t realize the significance of seeing either of them so my submission is therefore hidden.

Most people assume seeing my nipples is a sign of me being either risqué, a slut, or both. This is at least one reason why i almost always wear my wedding ring and am always standing near my husband. Then again, if they want to assume i am one of those, that’s their decision and i am ok with that. i am proud of being submissive and not ashamed.

And my collar. A submissive collar usually has a circle on it, as does mine. i have more than one collar. i still owe you a post about my collar but that’s not this post either and you’ll have to wait for that one still. i will tell you now though that i frequently wear one of my collars in public. To someone in the know, and observantly watching, they would know it’s a sign of my submission but if you weren’t aware, you’d just think it was a pretty silver choker necklace. Next time you see a choker necklace on a girl while in public, and there’s a circle on it, you’ll now know that she’s a sub! Again, i will tell you more about the collar(s) i own and wear in another post.

Lastly, you wouldn’t see this at all about me but rather David. He sneaks small touches of my puss as we move about the produce aisle, turn the corner to the next aisle, or when reaching to pick up an item. You probably won’t see this though as he does it subtly and you’d have to be paying a LOT for attention to find this. But IF you do see it, you’ll see me allowing it too.

Next i will tell you how i act.

As i have somewhat already said above, i stand tall. i am not afraid to have people see my submission, nor am i embarrassed or worried or turned off or otherwise stressed. In fact, i am proud.

When i walked through the store today, i held my head high and my shoulders back. That’s when you’d have possibly seen my nipples poking through!

If you were to see me, you’d have likely found me following behind David. While i sometimes walk next to him and there’s no official rule about where i must stand in relation to him, the store can be crowded allowing only just enough room to walk in a single file line. When that’s the case, i walk behind. Never in front. Never EVER in front. i follow. i never lead, physically or mentally! This is by choice that i follow and of course mentally too.

If and when you did actually lay eyes on me, i make eye contact and smile. Sometimes i talk to you and say hello, but not always. If you speak to me, i will always speak back though too. If you knew i was submissive, you might be surprised to see that i am not an introvert really and will not appear to shrink when seen or spoken to. i am proud of who i am. i am submissive for sure, but i am not ashamed or afraid of people seeing the real me which is NOT an introvert!

Because i am proud, if you were to ask me about anything, including about my submission, i would answer honestly. People frequently aren’t confident enough to speak to someone else at all, but especially about something so private as a submission collar around her neck even when you know me well! (i wear my collar to work quite frequently and most people think it is a “very lovely necklace!” And no one, absolutely no ONE has ever asked… but i am sure that at least 3-suspect!)

i always walk close to David. He is always within my eye sight, if not within arm’s length. The only exception to that (ever) is if he tells me to go pick up something further away, in which case i oblige.

i generally push the cart and he fills it up. He cooks and i clean. That’s always been our deal, so in the store, he decides what to buy and i just wait for the cart to be filled and we leave.

We make jokes and references about submission when we are in public fairly frequently too. Like today, there was a woman on a mission with her shopping cart. She was rather oblivious about her surroundings and seemingly uncaring too. She took up the entire aisle, criss-crossed, and was set on going where she wanted to. Had the rest of us not moved out of her way, she likely would have plowed into someone. David made a comment about her, to which i said, “Some people think they own the place and that they are in charge.”

David laughed and said, “You never think that. Do you?”

“Absolutely not! But she did.”

“Yes, she did indeed. Maybe someone needs to teach her a lesson.”

And we laugh.

The entire conversation is quiet enough that most wouldn’t hear, but if you did, you’d know it was about submission too.

Today when we left the store, as we drove home David reached over and drew up my shirt exposing my pussy to him. He commented about how pretty it looked just hanging out there.

And then his hand started exploring and playing with it. It swelled at his touch. i became very turned on and was enjoying the attention. He played as he drove. i should have been concerned about his distraction, but i suppose i was distracted beyond the point of concern. Of course, i NEVER say no to his touch. His hand, tongue, or cock is ALWAYS welcome on (or in) my body any day or night or location!

He talked to me and said, “you were a good girl at the store. i love how you wore this outfit today making it easy for me, yet never said a word on the way here.”

i commented, “i knew you knew it was available to you Sir. i knew i didn’t have to say anything, but i was hoping you’d touch me too!”

The more he played, the more aroused i became. i found myself asking to orgasm and he said yes. So i did. i orgasmed right there, in the car, on the freeway, with my puss on display for anyone to see.

Yet, no one did. No one saw me orgasm because they weren’t looking. Just like it’s probable that no one noticed or saw me in the store either.

There’s so much around us that we just don’t notice because we really are just not looking.

So many things are hidden in plain sight. i might can prove to you now that even you weren’t paying attention….. did you look at the photo? What does it look like? Did you see the animals?

Did you see the THREE animals in the photo above? Yes, there are three…. Here ya go!

Hugs,

Marie

227 – Party (and Maintenance) Friday

Written by Marie on . Posted in Maintenance, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 227 – Party (and Maintenance) Friday

S-U-C-C-E-S-S! Our Christmas party was a grand success indeed.

Ultimately it was! Of course, not without some trouble during the day… naturally no day is ever really perfectly organized.

And today was no exception.

We started the day with a Maintenance Friday (MFer!) of grand proportions. David had promised it would be a more difficult maintenance spanking, and it was.

At first, David said he was too busy and maybe we wouldn’t have time for it. It didn’t take but a minute though for me to stress out about rather small things and for David to become completely aware that indeed a rather intense maintenance session was needed.

i was setting out all the alcohol for the event, and it was much. i felt compelled to organize it by type and was stressed about the exact place,ent of it. Thinking of it now seems rather silly actually, but in the moment, it was important to me.

As i was preparing for the party, i was doing so nude in an attempt to be completely exposed … and calm. When i am naked, i have no physical place to hide. Literally. And usually, it keeps my minds calm too. But…. Not on Friday morn.

As i was in a tizzy about the alcohol’s organization, David saw me and asked what i was doing. When I told him, he became rather perturbed. He said, “Maintenance is sorely needed! Go get on the bed now. I will be there when I’m good and ready!”

i kept organizing the alcohol though, and David grabbed up my hand, and looked at me square in the eye and said quite sternly, “Go get on the damn bed NOW!”

So i did.

He left me there for many long minutes. i said prayers as i waited. i asked God to make me calm, to bring David’s hand to help that too, and to let me relax and accept the spanking as i needed to.

And i did. i accepted it. In truth, i needed it. Spankings ground me. They bring me to THAT moment. i can’t mentally or physically be anywhere else. It causes all other stress, thoughts, angst to evaporate. i was actually rather happy to have it.

As he spanked my bottom quite red, in no time at all, he talked to me. He was saying things that required me to focus on his words rather than the intensity of the swats he was delivering.

He said things like, “is there any reason to stress about alcohol?”

And, “You will be calm today, won’t you?”

And, “Does it matter if the alcohol, or anything else, is not organized precisely?”

And, “you have co-workers who can read to find their own alcohol preferences, correct?”

And, “you’ll stop acting like a crazed woman now, won’t you?”

And, “if you do NOT calm yourself, I will bring you right back here tonight and spank your ass for all to hear, even during the party. Do you want that?”

And, “Do you believe that I’ll spank you for all your co-workers to hear?”

And finally, “will you be a more calm, better woman now?”

And with that response, my ass was stinging and bright red. Tears were forming, but not flowing.

He sat me upright, kissed my lips and said, “Now. Will you my good girl today?”

While many of the questions required a yes or a no, and i had to focus on the question at hand to answer properly while in the midst of each swat hitting my ass with extreme intentional intensity, the last question was clear and i answered just as clearly…..

“Yes Sir.”

With that, we continued to prepare for the party. After lunch, the tenuous started building again. David said, “it’s time. I can tell your stress is rising. And with that, you need to be reminded to be submissive. Go put the plug in now!”

So i did. It went in quick, but not without any pain. Sometimes it feels bigger than it is. And of course, of all days, this one it was feeling particularly large! So on top of my ass being turned red on the outside earlier, now it was about to be turned red on the inside too.

i was able to get comfortable with it in, but i knew the night would be long too. Thankfully, it was no time at all and we were off to the restaurant to pick up the food that we had ordered. As we drove, David intentionally went quickly over the speed bumps. When i mentioned how intense the plug felt he said, “that’s good. It will remind you to be submissive even more!”

When we got to the restaurant, the food was NOT ready. In fact, the restaurant seemed confused about the order at all. When David produced the emailed receipt and details of the order, they immediately set about getting the food started. But the timing of the party start time was looming large and the amount of food we needed, made me think we simply didn’t have time. People would be arriving and we wouldn’t even be home!

i said absolutely nothing. But David knows me well enough to know i was am absolute mess inside! With a plug inside and knowing i was to be submissive, i was trying desperately to keep myself in check.

At that moment, i was grateful for the plug! i decided to squeeze my anal muscles on the plug, and release immediately once again. I decided to do it over and again as a reminder to be calm, and to remain Submissive!

David looked at the restaurant staff and said, “she needs a drink.” And he proceeded to take charge of the order and me. He ordered a large, frozen strawberry margarita. When they sat it in front of me, he looked at me and said, “the food will be ready in about 20 minutes. We have plenty of time. We are here early for this express purpose. You need to trust me on this. And you also need to drink this drink in its entirety before we leave here.”

i said just two mere word. “Yes Sir.”

And i sat and drank. And let him be in charge.

Things ended up working out exactly like David said. We were back home in plenty of time. We enjoyed the party thoroughly.

My ass was filled for the duration of the party. i can’t lie, the alcohol did as much for my insides as the plug did. The alcohol allowed the plug to feel so much nicer too! Both the alcohol and the plug allowed me to be the best submissive wife all night long. i stood by David’s side, spoke with kindness, refused to be argumentative, and was calm.

As i climbed into our bed at the end of the night, he praised my ability to be calm. And submissive. Then David touched me sexually. He brought me to orgasm almost immediately. i relished in the feeling as it washed over me thoroughly.

As we turned out the lights he said, “I am sure this was a successful day. We need to do this exact thing every time in the future. Would you agree?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Next party will be so much better now. Sleep well. I love you.”

“I love you too Sir.”

And the lights were turned off and we slept quite well.

See…. It turned out better than the last party! All in all…. an amazing day!

Hugs,

Marie

224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

i have a tendency to touch stuff, including stuff i should not.

Once when we were in an art museum in England, where there were tons of very old art pieces dating back many centuries…. i touched one. Despite ALL the signs, the guards in each room and the fact the oils from my finger could ruin a piece forever… i did it. i touched one. We were nearly thrown out of the museum and David was quite annoyed (ok, angry!) with me, but i did it. i touched it. i just felt like i had to! So i did!

i never buy clothing online because i can’t feel what it feels like before spending money on it. When i shop, i touch more stuff than i even realize just to know the texture. i have found myself doing it all the time, even when i am not buying something like clothing. For example, i walked through Walmart the other day and had to pass the men’s clothing department. i ran my hands along the displays of men’s shorts as i passed them, despite the fact i was not going to be buying them at all.

And you all should know by now that i touch my body including parts i should not. And it gets me in trouble fairly frequently, as you know as well!

But touching myself is not exactly what i am wanting to talk about now.

Whatever i wear for the day, i touch it regularly too. Like for example with my earrings or necklace that i wear on any given day, i tend to fiddle with them all throughout the day. i don’t do it always conscientiously, in fact, frequently it is not.

As i touch, i sometimes then think about how or when it came to be. So whatever i have on for the day, tends to be a very tangible reminder to me of anything and everything all day long.

i was talking to David about how much having something tangible on (or IN) my body serves as a constant reminder to me ….of places, events, or activities from where or how i received it.

He then said to me, “you need to A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something that reminds you of my submission.“

i said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S?”

And he said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S!”

We then talked about what that “something” is or what it should be. He said, “the something should be your collar, your bracelet, an anal plug, a vibratory, a dildo, or your chastity belt. You can take your pick. But you should A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something.”

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

So today.. i wore my collar. i will tell you more about it in another post and what it means and how it came to be.

But today… every time i touched it, whether consciously or subconsciously, i was reminded of it and exactly what it means…. Which it ultimately means that i belong to David…. As his good, submissive wife.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

Hugs,

Marie

223 – December Blinders

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, My Dominant Sir, my submissiveness, Submission. No Comments on 223 – December Blinders

December is supposed to be the “most wonderful season of all,” at least according to all the Christmas season songs. i find it can be the most hectic and busiest time of all.

And when i get busy… i get stressed…. And the way i deal with stress is to get laser focused on the task at hand, get it done, and checked off the list. Kinda like a race horse with blinders on, i put on my blinders and get focused.

Blinders, as shown in the photo, on a race horse is done to allow it to just focus on what’s straight ahead: the finish line.

As i was searching for the perfect race horse blinder photo, i saw these words on a website that described why a race horse wears the blinders:

Horses wear blinders in order to keep them focused on the job in front of them, not on any external disturbances such as cars, sirens, fireworks, or horse-drawn carriages that would otherwise cause the horse to spook and possibly cause damages or harm to itself.

That first sentence…. “Focused on the job in front of them,” resonates with me. While i do NOT wear actual blinders (come on peeps, i am not that crazy…. Or am i? Lol), that’s how my mind gets when i get stressed with a to-do list a mile long… focused.

Well….. THAT is when i am not at my most-best-submissive self either.

And THAT leads to trouble.

i mean, i have things to do. Who has time to slow down, chose my words properly, deliver the words with correct tone, and say “Sir.” That is all superfluous. Right?? W-R-O-N-G!

So yes, my friends, i went from being the most-submissive wife last month (while being denied O’s) to being on-a-mission to get stuff done and forgetting to be my husband’s submissive wife this month.

NOT a recipe for success.

Yesterday was one such day. We had several of my husband’s coworkers to our house for a Christmas party. Beforehand, as we were setting up, we were working together to get stuff set out and doing well. Until we weren’t.

David asked me, “should we move these chairs?” as he was referring to the dining room chairs set around the table that was now repurposed for the food in a buffet line and wouldn’t be used as a seating/earring table.

So i said, “where?” As in, “ok, let’s move them… but i’m not sure where would be best… just back away or to a useful place? What did you have in mind?”

What David heard was, “And where would you think we should put them? There’s no logical place, and it’s not necessary, people can move the, if they get in the way… we have other things to do, so ……”

Again… laser focused, no time for excess words…. And … yah, in trouble i was!

He was immediately angry. He looked at me and said, “When I make a suggestion, it’s important. You do not need to question me. Either you’ll be submissive and do as I say or we won’t do this at all. Do I make myself clear?”

i was in shock honestly. i didn’t understand what the problem was actually. Here’s what went through my head……

i said, “where?” What was there that i was questioning? Why is he mad? i thought i was being helpful, submissive, and getting things done. What does he mean by “you’ll be submissive..or we won’t do this at all.”….. being submissive is who i am, not an air i put on. i can’t NOT do it. Does he mean he won’t be my Sir? He wasn’t saying we wouldn’t be married and we won’t do MARRIAGE at all, was he?”

I WAS CONFUSED.

So when he said, “Do I make myself clear?” My ultimate thought was “ NO, not really!”

Thankfully, what came out of my mouth next was, “YES.”

But…. Of course…. i didn’t say, “Sir.” Nor did i respond any too quickly. There was a distinct pause in my response (see above for all the things i was thinking about!! That took a hot minute!)

That’s when he said, “your response makes your position clear.”

And he stood there staring at me, expecting a better response and more words to come from my mouth. Of which, i strongly debated if i should stay silent OR spew out all the paragraph of thoughts that went through my mind! (See above again.)

i knew if i said anything at all, we would be in a fight. I also knew he was expecting more from me.

Oh-good-grief. What a disastrous start to this party! Now i was just annoyed.

And at that very moment, i was saved by the bell. Literally, our door bell rang. Our first guest arrived. And he went to answer it. Thankful for the reprieve, the party was officially started. (It had to get better from here, right?? YES it did!)

i honestly figured all would be done and forgotten then as we entertained, ate, drank, and hours of conversation passed. But at the end, after all the guests left and we were cleaning up, David looked at me and said, “so…. Tell me what you were thinking when the door bell rang.”

OH CRAP. Really?? Ok, fine, i will tell you. But you just TOLD me to tell you. i can’t together in trouble for speaking my mind when i was told to, right??

So i told him. Just like i told you above.

And no, i didn’t get in trouble. Nor did we get in a fight. It’s probable it would’ve done one of those (trouble or fight), had I said it earlier, because there was emotion involved. However, by the time the words flowed, the emotion had subsided on both sides, which was a good thing!

Instead of trouble, he put his arms around my neck, leaned down and kissed me, and said, “I guess my suggestion should have been worded differently, but so should your response. Would you agree?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good girl. Now let’s go to sleep and do better tomorrow, shall we?”

“Yes Sir.”

And it ended well. But….. i need to take the blinders OFF some too. i don’t need to be so laser focused on perfection, getting to the finish line, or getting everything done even!

That same horse website mentioned previously said this about “why doesn’t the horse wear blinders all the time?”…

If worn all the time, however, blinders would get in a horse’s way. He may not spot the cool stream to his left or the tasty mound of hay to his right. He could run through a wide meadow unable to quench his thirst or satisfy his hunger.

i need to remember to slow down, look around, and remember who i am….

David’s submissive wife.

(Or else next time i likely WILL run into real trouble!)

Hugs,

Marie