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199 – Variations on “Defer to his authority”

i have written wrote about “the rules” before and i am working on another such post. Our rules are set. Unchanging. And so,etc,es there there are impromptu or for-today or because-i-can rules set into motion too.

Ultimately these would fall under the general category of “deferral.” The fact he has ultimate authority and decision-making power means that he can set into motion any new rule he wants to. And my job is to defer to him and his authority. Now mind you, i trust he won’t set anything in motion that i would ultimately take disagreement to anyway… but he ever did, I know i can talk reason into him too.

Today he decided I needed to wear an anal plug to work. For no reason really.

Maybe the “reason” is to serve as a reminder that he’s in charge. Or maybe as a tangible and constant FEELING of his authority. Or maybe just to see if i’d obey, which i will. Or maybe he wants me to think of him allllll day.

Or maybe he intends to use that hole for his personal pleasure and is getting it ready today. Or maybe to get me sexually charged up with NO ability to do anything about it (i am headed to work after all!)

Or maybe to mess with my mind and make me wonder about all these things and it’s nothing at all.

Not only did he decide an anal plug would escort me to work today, but he was to be the one to put it in its place too. He said, “get a plug, get it ready (with lube), and get into position.”

This position means to bend over, spread my legs, and hold my ass cheeks apart.

He came and said, “what a pretty sight to see my little girl.” And with that, he picked up the plug and i felt the tip press against my opening.

i held my breath as he pressed it inside. I always know the EXACT moment it pushes past the sphincter muscle as the pressure immediately subsides.

Even though i knew it was in, i also knew not to move just yet. He pressed it deep and played with the plug just a moment saying, “it won’t go any further in unless I press it in. Do you like that feeling?“

Now, i wouldn’t say i liked the feeling, but i did like that he liked it! So by a roundabout, i did indeed like it. i told him this too. And he slapped my ass in a hard, but good-fun way, and said, “ok, free to go to work now.”

As i let go of my ass cheeks and stood up, i felt the plug position itself between my legs and deeply in my ass. He always has me wear a thong on plug days so it holds it in as far as possible too. In fact, the thong is really about 1-2 sizes too small, which makes the string part ride up between my ass cheeks further, so it serves its purpose even better.

As always, i said, “thank you Sir.” And i kissed him.

So now i am off to work. i have no doubt he will ask me a couple of times today how it is feeling, and of course, as the day goes on it will become increasingly less pleasurable. But the fact that he wants it there and i am his submissive and intend to do as i am told…. It will be in its place a very LONG time today.

Have an amazing day my friends!

Hugs,

Marie

191 – Fiction: All Tied Up

He woke me up saying, “My sweet Baby Girl, it’s time to wake up. Today is Sunday and I have a lot in store for us. Your day is going to be all tied up. So be prepared.”

I had no idea what that really meant, but my only response was to smile at my Sir and say, “I can’t wait to see what the day holds Sir.” And I meant it too.

I got out of bed, naked as always, and asked Sir, “whatever do you have in mind Sir? How should I dress for the day?”

As he raised his hand to motion toward me he simply said, “Exactly as you are now my love.”

I smiled and said, “ok, then I am almost ready to begin the day. May I go wake up with my (usual) morning coffee?”

He smiled back and said, “of course. But come to me when you are done and we will begin the day.”

“Yes Sir.”

I was intrigued by the way my day was starting and wondering what all it would entail or just how it would end, but … as always….. coffee first!

Once I was awake with coffee ingested, I went to the home office where my Sir was and kneeled on my mat beside him. He kept keying away at his keyboard, but he knew I was there.

It didn’t take long and he turned toward me. He opened his desk drawer and pulled a familiar object out. My collar. To be specific, my submissive slut wife collar. This was the collar I wore when we are about to have sexual activity and I suddenly knew that whatever Sir had in mind, I wouldn’t be wearing any clothes at all today!

Sir bent down and kissed me on the cheek, while putting the collar around my neck. He asked me, “are you ready for today?”

“Absolutely and always ready for you Sir!” And I was!

As he buckled the collar in its place, I noticed he buckled it a bit tighter than usual. He said, “I mean business today!” Just by placing a collar on my neck, and by it being a notch tighter than usual, I was already going to my favorite submissive headspace and knew today was going to be A-mazing!

As I heard the lock snap into place securing the collar tightly to my neck, I felt the first release of precum drip from my pussy.

That’s when his hand rubbed against my cheek, he smiled at me, and said, “You are such a beautiful bride and my soulmate. My heart, head, and my cock all love you dearly. You already look so amazing today my wife.” I loved it when he looked at me with such love in his heart and happiness on his face. My heart was racing with equal excitement and happiness.

He turned back to his desk and grabbed something else. He turned back to me and said, “Today I intend to tie you up. Literally. Little bit by little bit all throughout the day. So that by day’s end, you’ll be in the exact position I want and if all goes well, I’ll be so turned on by your obedience and positioning that I intend to fuck your brains out. How does that sound my sweet girl?”

I looked at my Sir and with the biggest grin, and feeling giddy, I said, “absolutely wonderful!” And I felt the second release of precum drip from my pussy, all for my Sir.

He said, “This is a new breast harness I’ve had made for you.” I could tell the basics of this breast harness were like a bra, but not too similar either. Instead of having arm straps, it had two straps at the top of it, to which he used the clip to attach it to the loop in the front of my collar so that the actual harness was now hanging down between my boobs. He then separated the sides and wrapped it around my chest and told me to turn around. On my back I heard a lock click into place where I knew Sir had locked me into this harness from the back. When he turned back to my front, he pulled the leather straps apart. I could tell there was one for each breast and they had a bottom curve and sides to them, something like a shelf bra but with a U-shape to it too. He moved each breast so that it sat on top of the shelf and was squeezed inside the edges. It made my breasts stand on end and point outward for easy access to Sir. The U-shapes were kind of tight, but I knew it would only serve to keep my breasts perky and accessible to him and wouldn’t really hurt either. It really made my nipples quite obviously point straight outward, which I think was Sir’s intention really.

That’s when he sat back and smiled. He grabbed his phone and said, “I intend to take pictures today as I create my masterpiece. I do not want you to smile in any of them. Just look at me and express whatever your mood is at the time.” And I did. I hoped my look expressed exactly how much love I was feeling at this moment as I sat taller on my mat with my collar and chest bound and pointing straight outward. And he snapped the photo.

And as he did, I was so proud of who I am and that my Sir saw my pussy was dripping wet for him!

Without another word, he turned back to his computer and did some more work while I sat still on my mat for a good long time.

I started to doze off as the time ticked by and my posture became slouched. Sir apparently noticed as I suddenly felt a sharp squeeze to one of my nipples and he started talking saying, “So apparently this part of things has grown comfortable already.”

He brought a familiar nipple clamp with chain out. Each nipple had a clamp attached to it and he said one word, “Open.”

I knew he meant my mouth, so I did. And he placed the chain in my tongue and said, “Close”.

Now when I moved my head my nipples would feel it. And I couldn’t exactly talk too well with my mouth full also.

It wasn’t long and he said he was moving to the living room and I was to follow. I have a mat there too that I started to kneel on when he said, “No, stand beside the couch and spread your legs.”

He had the spreader bar that had thigh cuffs on it. A tight metal bar forces my legs apart on the inside of my thighs, while held in place by the cuffs at each end that are attached to my thighs. Sir applied each cuff individually, locking those in place too. Now my legs were forced apart and held in place by this bar that was locked to each thigh. He reached down and touched two fingers to my clit, which was so easily showing on display now without any ability for me to close my legs or deny him access. Sir smiled and said, “I love my masterpiece already! Don’t you my sweet girl??”

And he raised his phone and said, “Another picture is in order.” And started snapping away. Even if I’d wanted to smile, with a chain in my mouth and my nipples starting to throb, it really wasn’t possible.

That’s when he said, “Turn around.” And I did. I had my back to him and was facing the couch. I felt him come up behind me and he wrapped his arms around my waist and with his head near my ear he said, “you are the most amazing submissive slut wife I could’ve ever asked for!”

He let go of my waist with his right hand only and I felt it go to my back and push me forward. With his left hand still in place on my stomach, his right hand was bending me over at the waist.

He said, “put your head on the couch and your arms in the small of your back.” And I did.

I felt his hand go between my legs and rub on my clit. His fingers were finding their happy place and my cunt was sucking up his love! He made a sound of happiness and he said, “oh, I love how wet you are my dear. You know I love it how you are always ready for me. I’ve worked so hard to train you to always be ready and I’m so pleased it works now every time!”

He released his touch and proceeded to put a leather cuff on each wrist and I heard the clip attach one to the other. I was handcuffed behind my back. While I knew he didn’t actually lock them together with a lock and key, he didn’t need to. The way the cuffs were made, and behind my back, I couldn’t get myself out if I’d wanted to either.

He stood me back upright and turned me to face him. His hands on my shoulders and he took one step back to look me up and down where he admired his handiwork. He smiled and said, “time for breakfast now.”

He told me to take a seat at the breakfast table while he prepared our meal. When he was done, he made one plate and came and sat beside me. He said, “Because you won’t have the use of your hands, I’ll be doing most all of your basic functions for you today. I know you recognize me as your dominant master, but sometimes I need to know you rely on me to make your every decision and to care for you fully. Today will be one of those days.”

He continued, “Now obviously you can’t eat with a chain in your mouth so spit it out and release it for me now.”

I did.

He took hold of the chain and with a devilish grin he was pulling back on the chain, causing my nipples to be pulled towards him too, he said, “are you ready??”

I cringed as I knew what was coming next but I had no power to change my destiny either.

He pulled it taut causing a jolt of pain to go straight to my nipples and said, “I asked you a question and I expect an answer Little Missy!”

I responded honestly, “Nooooo Sir, I am not rea-d-yyyy.”

But as I got to the end of the word “ready”, it was too late. He jerked hard on the chain and just like that, my nipples were freed from the captive teeth of the clamps. The blood flowed fast into the tips and they burned like fire. I yelled out as the pain was so intense and my nipples throbbed with such intensity I thought they could explode. I so wished I could reach to them and give them soothing comfort to ease their pain, but with my hands tied behind my back that was nothing but a mere wish.

Instead I looked down at them expecting to see something different, but they looked the same as always: perky and upright and yet now very red too.

I heard the familiar sound of the camera click. Sir was taking more photos of me. And he was loving every minute of his time with me this way too.

After putting down the camera and picking up a fork full of eggs, he said, “Open.” And he began to feed me like a child. Just this simple act made me keenly aware of how dependent I was upon him and how much power I had willingly yielded to him. And yet, even if I’d been told at the start this was where I’d be I’d have yielded my power just as quickly too.

He said, “Don’t make me tell you to open for every bite. After you chew and swallow, reopen your mouth willingly and wait. I will feed you when I want to, and how much I want to too. I want this meal to be filled with silence this morning as I enjoy my meal and your predicament.”

I knew this wasn’t a time to say a single word, so I just did as told and reopened my mouth. He smiled and said, “That’s my good baby girl. You ARE my baby girl right now, helpless and dependent upon your Daddy Sir to provide for you. You do know that, right?”

I didn’t respond here either. We both knew it was a rhetorical question and required no response at all.

We ate in silence and Sir gave me plenty of food and drink both. I’ve never worried about his judgement or ability to meet my needs and today wasn’t a day to start either.

When our meal was done, he said, “I imagine you need to use the restroom and empty your bladder so go to the toilet and I will be there shortly.”

He has never wiped me before so I wasn’t sure how this would go really and was embarrassed at the thought, but I had no other options with the use of my hands restricted too. And he was right, my bladder was aching for its release too.

As I was finishing he came and said, “stand up now. Since your legs are spread already, this will be easy for both of us.”

He gently and kindly wiped me clean and it wasn’t nearly as humiliating as I’d actually imagined in my mind.

And this is how our day progressed. After lunch, he said, “I want you to take a nap and rest for what I still have planned to come today. You will nap in our bed until I come for you.”

I said, “Yes Sir. I understand Sir. But… may I ask…..”

He said, “Spit it out child. What do you have to ask me?”

“Sir, my arms are aching from being tied for so long behind my back. May you please release them?”

He thought for a minute and as he made a motion for me to turn around, he grabbed the clip and released my arms from one another.

I took the moment of freedom to stretch my arms and rub my forearms. And shortly thereafter, he said, “put both arms by each side now.”

That’s when he clipped each one to the thigh cuffs pinning my arms to my sides. Again, no need to put a lock and key on them because I couldn’t reach the clip with just one hand if i had wanted to! And just like that, I was pinned once more, but now in a different position at least too.

He turned and slapped me hard on the butt and said, “Now off to nap time with you young lady.”

While getting myself comfortable was a challenge, I started to drift off to sleep. But before I was able to get to a full sleep, I heard Sir come in as he was talking on the phone. He said, “Just a minute Julie, I’ll see if I can find her.”

After muting the phone, he said in a questioning tone to me, “Apparently you told Julie you’d spend some time with her today?”

“Oh crap! I forgot. I did! I told her we could go to the mall and have an afternoon of drinks too.”

Sir said, “well, not anymore you aren’t. You need to tell her something now to get yourself out of this commitment and I’ll put the phone to your ear. You have 2-minutes and I’ll watch the clock and hang up on her at that time, so make it short and to the point or else she’s going to think you were a rude Bitch who just hung up on her.”

“Yes Sir.”

And he put the phone to my ear and in my sweet southern lady voice I said, “Oh hi Julie. …… Yes, I did forget………Oh yes, I know it’s been so long indeed but I’m a bit tied up at the moment.” (Pause) “well, you know, with things that I just can’t get out of right now.”

Sir looked at the clock and I could tell my time was about to be up.

“Julie, we will just have to reschedule. I sure love our friendship and I know you’ll understand.”

With that, Sir was taking the phone from my ear and I spit out the words, “Take care and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Click.

Sir patted me on the head and said, “what a good girl, now take a nap and rest your eyes for awhile. I’ll be in soon enough.”

“To be sure you do as you are told, I’ve decided I want to secure you to the bed. He reached up and grabbed the rope that was securely attached to the bed frame that he’d installed last year, and he clipped the end to my collar. And since my arms were secured to my legs, there was no need to attach a lock or key as I couldn’t reach my arm to my neck to release myself, not that I wanted to anyway really.

As he backed away from me, he walked backward while facing me. With phone in hand, he snapped even more photos. When I started to smile to him, not for the photos but to my loving husband, he was quick to say, “Turn your face away! I told you I didn’t want you to smile so look away if you must.”

As I thought he was going to leave, he must’ve changed his mind since he then said, “you know what? I want to tie up those breasts even further. Turn onto your back now.” And he moved into our closet.

When he came back he had a rope and he said, “I’m loving the harness but those tits just aren’t sticking out enough. I’m going to bind them tighter with this rope.”

That’s when he started winding the rope around each breast and then through the middle to wrap the other. He created a perfect figure eight shape, while wrapping each breast tighter and closer to one another. He continued until they were protruding straight away. He tucked the rope and finished it off. As he did, he stepped back and grabbed his phone once again. He smiled saying, “I love it! So damn beautiful!” Click, click, click.

With that, he turned and as he was leaving he said, “sleep well!” Although i had no real idea how I was going to do that at all! So instead, I found myself wondering about what Julie really thought. I’ve never gotten on and off the phone with her in a mere 2-minutes, which has always been irksome to Sir and it’s been a raw topic between us over the ages.

Despite the bindings, I put that thought out of my mind and found myself drifting off to sleep. I’d have to try to explain it better to her when i see her next time…. probably tomorrow.

When I woke, it was to having my Sir’s mouth attached to a protruded nipple and his fingers quickly found their favorite spot further south. I’m always wet for him, even with just a moment’s notice, so his fingers slid right into my pussy without issue.

As his tongue released my nipple from its grip, he said, “Time to wake up and perform your services for me now. I’ve finished my work and I am needing to bury my cock in this wet needy pussy. My cock needs to be worked out and drop a load of cum deep into your cunt. You’re okay with that, am I right my sweet slut?”

I smiled as I opened my eyes and said, “Absolutely Sir. You know my body is always here to provide service to you and give your cock with the deserving home it seeks!”

I heard his pants unzip. He said, “I’m going to move you to the side of the bed so your head will fall from the edge. Then I’m going to jam my cock into your mouth and you need to suck my cock until it’s rock hard.”

I was already on my back, so he loosened the bed rope attached to my collar to allow me to move sideways. He pulled me so that my neck was on the edge of the bed and I let my head flop to the side. I opened my mouth instinctively and immediately I felt his cock his the back of my throat. I almost gagged on such a fast intrusion, but I know better than to gag on my Sir’s cock. Such an act would’ve been perceived as rejection of the gift he’s provided me today, and I’d never insult him in such a way!

As he started to throat fuck my mouth, my nose kept touching my Sir’s ball sack. I felt his balls move back and forth I found it hard to stay still for him to fuck my mouth. I started squirming trying to move where my nose would be clear to breathe.

I felt his hands grab my tits and use them as leverage to push back and forth. He was intent on his mission and as I moved he commanded me to, “Stay still you fucking cunt. I need to get hard already!”

That was the exact moment when she came into our bedroom and I heard Julie spit out the words, “What the fuck is going on? What the hell did you call your WIFE and my friend??”

She started coming at my Sir and tried pushing him off of me. She obviously heard the last sentence where he called me his favorite pet name, his cunt. She saw me tied up and must’ve jumped to conclusions of abuse. Maybe she thought I was being held against my will. I said, “Julie, it’s not what you think! I’m ok. I promise you!”

Sir got pissed though and said, “She IS my wife and what the fuck are you doing in our bedroom? I have every right to treat her the way we are accustom to.”

Julie started to stutter and said, “the garage door was up and your car was here, so after she hung up so rudely on me i came to see what was going on. And now I see she’s being abused! I won’t let you do this to her!”

There it was. I was right. She assumed what she saw was against my will. But she was so wrong. Obviously I couldn’t go to her, so I just said again, “Julie, this is my desire. I am his submissive slut wife, and I LIKE it.”

She then started to show reduced anger and it was replaced with confusion. She said, “when I knocked and no one answered, I came in looking for answers. I wanted to know what was so pressing that you had to cancel on me.”

I said, “what was pressing was actually my Sir’s cock in my throat. The very same one I was about to get fucked by when you interrupted us.”

I heard Sir say, “Julie, she told you she was all tied up. She wasn’t lying.”

Julie looked in shock and said, “You said you were all tied up, but I didn’t take that literal!”

Julie looked at him and said, “obviously.”

That’s when her anger truly subsided and she said, “I guess I need to go. I’m… I’m…. sorry.” She was now embarrassed and at that moment, she just wanted to get away.

But Sir grabbed her by the arm and said, “Julie, all is well here. You know that right?”

Julie started to look at the ground as she was now going into shock at what she’d seen. I said, “Julie, I’m fine. Actually I’m better than fine. I am in my favorite place, serving my dominant Master Husband. If you want to stay, and watch to see that I speak truth, I feel like Sir would welcome that.”

Julie looked at me in surprise and said, “You… you… you want me to stay???”

I smiled and said, “well… yes.”

Sir handed her his phone and said, “I’ve been taking pictures all day. How about you take pictures of anything you see that you like… or rather maybe something you think we would like….”

Julie stared at the phone and barely spoke. All she could say was, “oh, well, Uhm… thanks, but … uhm….”

I laughed and said, “surely you’ve seen people have sex before! And surely you wouldn’t show dishonor to my Sir by saying no to his request.”

She reluctantly took the phone and said, “oh wow. Uhm. Well. Ok.”

And with that, my loving husband looked at me and said, “it seems your friend now knows how submissive and slutty you really are. Put on a show for her to have some picture worthy moments.”

I said, “Yes Sir!”

That’s when Sir said, “Now, open that mouth and let’s see about getting my cock ready to fuck your cunt once more.”

I opened my mouth and he started to fuck my face with even more eagerness than before.

My husband started talking as if Julie wasn’t even present by saying, “What an amazing day this is shaping up to be…. Woman, suck my cock hard! You make me a happy man. And while your mouth has talent, what my cock really wants is to be balls deep in that pussy of mine. Are you ready?”

I mumbled, “Yes Sir” since his cock was still jamming deep in my throat. That’s when he pulled his rock hard cock out of my mouth and he said, “So Julie. You think you can get some great shots of my submissive slut devouring my cock right into her needy pussy?”

She said, “uhm, I think so. But I may need to move to get a better shot.”

My Sir said, “That’s the way to think! Go for it. So move anyway you want and take whatever pics you can. She won’t object, will you my beautiful slut?”

All I could manage to say was, “Like I told you before, I’m all tied up today… and I have nowhere to go!”

All from then on, all I heard was the familiar sound……. click, click, click.

The end.

Hugs,

Marie

190 – Naked Housewife Headspace

While yesterday i told you that my submission isn’t just about sex or sexual activity, and that is indeed true, when i am in my most submissive headspace i do tend to think about sex and my sexual submission all the time .

i have an ongoing dialogue in my head about things that if i were in charge, what i would tell myself. Sometimes i share these thoughts with David. And on occasion he indulges me, but most of the time, he does his own thing in the end.

i do think he likes hearing my thoughts because he can see/hear what i think. He can see how submissive i want to be for him.

Today i had one of those convos in my head and i texted it to David. i was in the bathtub soaking and relaxing, while he was out walking.

Here is what i told him……..

I think you need to do some or all of this soon/maybe today……

You: “when you get so focused on sex, you start to be too horny for your own good. It’s a recipe for disaster. When you get too focused on getting your orgasm, you show unsubmissive tendencies, because it seems to be the sole focus of your thoughts to the point where you only want it and show disregard for all else. This is exactly the behavior that I don’t care for. So while I want to flame those sexual fires, I want it done my way. For the next month, these are the rules for you:

1) no orgasms. Unless it it by my hand, cock, or directive. Don’t even ask me if you can orgasm or masturbate. The answer is no if you ask. If I want you to orgasm, I will tell you.

2) if you feel the urge to ask me, instead you need to go put something on or in your holes. This can be a dildo, anal plug, a spoon, a hairbrush, or other similar thing. Of course, if you think all those will just cause you to touch yourself more then you should put on your chastity belt and promptly hand me the keys.

3) since I am forbidding you from asking me, I want to be able to see more. Whenever possible, you are to be naked in our house. And if not naked, you need to have on as little as possible at all times. When I see a belt on you or a plug in your ass, I will know that you are being compliant and yet acting like the horny slut wife you are.

4) if or when I suspect you have orgasmed at your own will or hand, I will spank you immediately and it will be to punish you, so expect the full blunt of the paddle to hurt. While I discipline you, you will tell me why you chose to disappoint me with a direct and intentional violation of your rules. You’ll tell me how you’ll do better, and thank me for the correction and guidance you so obviously need.

And if I should have to actually discipline you like this, then your month will start over.

Do I make myself clear?”

That was all that i texted to David. And he read it in no time at all. And i waited for his response.

What do you think he said?

i’ll tell you…… maybe.

But not today.

Hugs!!

Marie

177 – Craving submission

i have mentioned how i am a strong person outside our home. And i am. i wouldn’t say or call myself “Dominant” to the people outside our home on purpose because i wouldn’t necessarily say that is true. But maybe “normal” or “just like everyone else” is definitely true. And definitely more “dominant” outside my home than my “submission” inside the home.

In other words, dial up the dominant a notch …. or three, and dial down the submissive that same amount when i am outside our home (without David). That last part is important, because whenever I am with David i am the same submissive wife, regardless if i am inside or out. But sometimes that’s hard to do (be submissive outside the home) when i am with others AND David at the same time. But that may be inspiration for another post as well.

When i am outside our home, without David, maybe a little Dominant too. But i would define dominant as in …. the ordinary and normal ways of the world. At work, i have a job where lots of decisions are made, i direct a lot of people’s activities, and am asked for a lot of information….. and i do it all with complete confidence.

And then i go on “overload”. Too many questions, too many required decisions cause me to yearn for easy days, doubt seeps in, indecision starts to happen… and i start to overthink and then i do think, “no more! Time out!”

And i just want to go home…. and be a submissive wife!

i crave submission.

That happened yesterday. And when that happens, i go to my submissive mindset. i mentally withdraw from the world and go to my Submissive-self.

i will say it again….

i crave submission.

i start to find ways to get it. It feels a bit like an addiction …. or maybe a life-line is really a better way to describe it. It has a “i am going crazy here and need to escape to a good, safe place” feeling about it.

My safe place is my submissive wife mindset. It’s not a physical place, but a mental place. It is definitely the physical place of my home… but as mentioned above, it is also outside my home when i am with David.

i don’t do drugs of any kind, unless prescribed. And yet, in a mental-way, being submissive is my drug of choice. My addiction is being a submissive wife to my husband.

That’s usually when i come home and say stuff to David like, “i need maintenance.” Or something like that anyway.

Most of the time, he says “ok, let’s do it.” And i go assume the position to be spanked and then it releases the endorphins, in both of us really, to be calm and let the outside world be … well, ….outside.

This time i didn’t do that though. i didn’t ask for maintenance. i didn’t really get the release i was craving or needing.

W-H-Y?

Well, David has been really stressed out from work for a month or so now. He has a lot of work to be done, and his team isn’t getting it done, which means he has to pick up their slack. That means he is working more than usual and with more intensity and stress.

The stress at my job and me craving to submit, doesn’t mean i can come home and “demand” he manage me too. If i did demand for him to be my dominant, my Sir, pay attention to me, or even just spank the endorphins out…. i would probably call that “topping from the bottom.”

Topping from the Bottom isn’t really submissive at all, but rather telling him how to dominate and ultimately causing him to be submissive to me.

Yet…. it’s a tricky place too. i need to be able to have open communication about how i am feeling ….. and craving submission….. while not telling him what to do too.

This might be a time where i could “brat” too. And sometimes i have in the past. Meaning that I would do something bad to test or dare him to stand up and take action. To see how dominant he really is. To see if he will tolerate bad behaviors. But testing our loved ones isn’t a good way to act or a good place to be. While he might respond well, it could also set you both up for failure really.

So instead of doing those things….. and getting a much-over-due spanking (or discipline) …. i just acted like an adult and said, “i know it’s because we have both been stressed, but i am craving submission. And i hope you are craving dominance, because i’d like to amp it up again. To put it back where it belongs.” (With “it” being our relationship dynamic.)

He said, “I agree. We both need it.”

We have been a bit “removed” from our usual selves and withdrawn from one another lately because of our work demands. And i don’t even mean just our dynamic, but quite literally physically and mostly mentally, removed from one another. When we get overwhelmed with “anything” we have no more capacity for anything else to be added, so we block out that other thing. So lately the part that has been blocked out has been “us” and our dynamic.

It’s not all bad, as we haven’t been fighting or anything like that. But we haven’t been in our D/s typical home dynamic either…… which is why i haven’t written lately.

Besides stress of work, there hasn’t been much to write about! Not much inspiration to tell you about!

But i do have some fiction stories I my head that will probably make their way to this site soon too…. 😉

Anyway… after me nudging David back into being my dominant, and me telling him i am craving his dominant hand…. i suspect i may have more inspiration here quite soon again.

(And this coming week we are taking a 3-day road trip to do two official university tours with our son. It’s quite probable that the D/s dynamic outside our home may well be tested in full! So i may have even MORE inspiration to write about than i even know! Stay tuned!!).

Hugs,

Marie

187 – what is “submissive service”

(This is a long post, but after reading through it several times trying to find things that i thought could/should be cut… i didn’t want to…. so… it is what it is.)

i have talked a bit about this before. But i feel like talking again. So i will. Ha. And in reading this nonfiction book that i mentioned before, “Real Service” by Tenpenny and Kaldera, i have new thoughts to add, at least i hope anyway.

But before i dive in, i want to give a couple of (only my opinion) thoughts of “what’s the difference between a submissive and a slave. Because while i’d love to be a “sexual slave,” to my husband, i am not. i am quite thoroughly and completely “just a submissive wife” in every aspect.

And why do i make a point to make this distinction? Well… keep reading and it will hopefully become more obvious.

Similarities: Both a submissive and a slave conform to a Dominant’s will, both defer to another’s authority and both ultimately find their own pleasure in making someone else happy. At its core, a submissive and a slave provide a service(s) to a Dominant.

Differences: And while both submissive and slave have a lot in common, they are still quite different too. At its core, a submissive is more free and has more control than a slave. Not to say a submissive is “less” than a slave, because i am NOT diminishing the significance or importance of a submissive whatsoever! It’s just that a submissive has more free-thinking-authority than a slave.

A slave has less control of one self than a submissive. A slave makes less decisions than a submissive. A slave has their decisions taken away from them (freely) whereas a submissive makes decisions (within the given authority of the Dominant). A slave requires more effort of the Dominant (to control and make the decisions for the slave), than what is required of a Dominant with a submissive.

So i guess my ideal combination would be to submit to my husband in everything… except sex. For sex, i would much prefer to have all my control and decisions be taken from me and to be his slave. But it’s not up to me. i suppose in an odd way of thinking of it, having no control over this decision… makes me a slave to the situation!?! (Hmm, not sure if i think that sentence is true really, but having “no control” is at the essence of a slave’s situation/persona… so maybe ??)

What is in my control is learning to be the best submissive wife i can be… which i would ultimately have to admit… includes sex too.

Submissive wife:

i am my husband’s best friend… and submissive wife. (And he is my best friend…. and Dominant husband).

When people say you can’t live a D/s or kinky lifestyle 24/7, i disagree. This is exactly what and how we do it. i am his submissive wife 24/7. That is at least until we slip out of our ways of doing things because of stupid things like “work stress” monopolizing our “home life”…. which is another topic of “how exactly do you maintain the ways of doing things 365-days a year without slipping away from it.” (Good question… i haven’t mastered it!)

i recently saw someone else post a blog that was basically where we have been lately, and she called the “out of the D/s routine” as being in a “rut.” And i suppose that’s a great way to think and a great word for it too. (Again, how to NOT go into a “rut” isn’t in my wheelhouse just yet… and back to today’s blog….)

While i agree there are some things that you simply can’t do 24/7 due to its extreme level/intensity, there are a lot of dominance and submission that absolutely can be done 24/7.

As i mentioned, i am reading the non-fiction book, “Real Service,” where the authors make a point to say and explain how a submissive provides service to a Dominant. And that “service” comes in many forms, including sexual but not just sexual. Service tasks range in its complexity from mundane of housework, errands/shopping, and paying bills, up to other specific things that would fit this particular D/s dynamic like secretarial, being a chauffeur, butler, or chef… and always companionship.

The key is ensuring that whatever services are provided from the sub to the Dom is what the DOM WANTS! The service is meaningless if the Dom doesn’t want (or need) it.

In one section of the book, the author (a Dom) talks about how his sub was performing tasks that the sub thought the Dom wanted, but in fact the Dom did not. The Dom realized he was upsetting his sub when in fact what the sub was doing wasn’t at all important, needed, or valued by the Dom.

The author writes, “Faced with his [the sub’s] disappointment, I had two choices: I could beat myself up for not being able to do this [“this” meaning the Master trying to become satisfied with what the sub was doing for the Master], or we could work together on making the activities that were meaningful for me likewise meaningful for him. And we chose the second option.”

The first key point or takeaway i have here is:

Even if i want to do it, if it means nothing to David…. it isn’t what i should be doing. i need to be doing what David wants, not what i want or what i think he wants.

Sometimes if i were being fully honest, i think i do things trying to impress him and ultimately find favor in order to receive his praise. Only for him to find that he didn’t want or need it, but he now has to decide to: 1) hurt my feelings by telling me it wasn’t wanted, 2) learn to like what i did, 3) give praise for something he neither wanted, asked for, or needed. And let’s face it, options #2 &3 are lying/deceitful to me (and forcing him to bend to me) and may make me think he liked my efforts, leading me to repeat them to get #2 &3 to occur again… vicious circle. All the while, i was just trying to provide a (good) service go/for him but going about it in all the wrong ways.

That seems obvious at its core, i get that. But sometimes i (and maybe other subs too) am certain i know what will make him happy and set out to do these things, only to be disappointed upon figuring out that wasn’t at all what i should be focused on and it didn’t make David happy one iota. And likewise, it puts David in a position to either accept (and learn to like) the service i am giving him… or for him to teach/train me to give the service he is actually wanting (and for me to be happy doing that task instead).

So being reminded to do what he wants, not what I think he wants, is pretty key!

Going back to the submissive versus slave part, i would love nothing more than to be David’s sex-slave not “just” his submissive. But it’s just not what he wants. He wants me to be a submissive wife…. in ALL aspects, including sex.

When it comes to sex specifically, being a submissive doesn’t feel like it is “enough”. At least not for me. But i’d say David thinks being a submissive, even for sex, is plenty enough. So at the end of the day, i am fully aware that what i’d like to do or be… a sex slave… is irrelevant.

i would like to be told (“made”) to…….

Be naked as much as possible, strut in front of him, sit on the floor beside him, not be allowed to be out of his sight, have my mouth stuffed with his cock regularly, sit on his cock and do all the work to get him to orgasm, stuffed with a dildo to stretch enough to accommodate him without any difficulty, be spanked if not wet at the moment he wants/needs me to be, to be punished if unwanted pubic hair is ever found, to wear a butt plug to stretch the back whenever he wants, to be taken when i am sleeping for no other reason than because he wants me, to be tied up or gagged in positions that he has full access, to wear a chastity belt most of the time, to be shared if he wants to, and and and ……i could go on…….

Don’t misinterpret what i am saying to mean i am not my husband’s submissive for sex… because i am. But i want to be MORE than just submissive for sex. i want to be owned, and to have no other options available to me, as it comes to sex. (i love being his submissive wife for all the mundane things of life, but i would really love to be his sexual slave to in the bedroom too.)

But….. that’s not really what i think David wants. If he did want these things, he’d be doing it. Or maybe he does want it, but it’s just not a practical way to live 24-7, 365-a year. So maybe “just” being a submissive is the better way to do things…. most of the time and a sex-slave “only on occasion.”

The author continued by saying, “The servant is obligated to do things the master’s way, and if they’re a good servant, they should work on not acting too resentful while they’re doing it. A good thought process…..might be “No one is going to die if I do things Master’s way.””

This is true for all service rendered by a sub to her Dom. And for me, in the daily-submissive-wife-things i typically do think this way. i often find myself thinking, “while this isn’t how i would do it, my way isn’t necessarily better or his worse even… so just do it his way and be ok with it.”

But when it comes to wanting to be “more” for sexual activities (read “sex-slave”), i ultimately want to have my entire sexual being become his play toy at any time or any place he wants. But David wants it a different way. And i need to be be ok with that. i need to learn to do it his way, which for me feels “less” than what i want to give and what i think he deserves. But at the end of the day, …..I never want to be the source of his disappointment or him having to figure out how to like what i want to give and let’s face it: “no one is going to die if i do things Master’s [David’s] way.”

i suppose most of this is common sense really, but it was also a lightbulb moment for me in that thinking of…. “of course that makes sense. It’s the best way for the D/s relationship to truly work in harmony”. That said, if it was ALL common sense for everyone, there wouldn’t be a need for the Book i am reading to have been written at all! Right??

Anyway…. i have realized my submissive wife homework is to become more in tune with:

1) is this service (any service, including sexual) something David wants or is it something i want him to want?

2) if it’s the latter, what would he want?

3) and if it’s the former, am i doing it in a way that’s fully pleasing to him?

i am really enjoying this book… maybe you should consider reading it too. It’s not just for subs either!

Hugs,

Marie