i get asked this question a lot….. with many things….. and of course, most recently with the chastity. But previously with getting nipples pierced. And frequently and quite regularly with spanking. And always with submission-in-general.
With the exception of the “submission,” i don’t think the question is aimed at asking how i feel emotionally, but rather how does it feel physically.
i suppose much of how i write is more about the emotional than the physical, but even then, sometimes it’s more from an objective standpoint than a “me” standpoint. For example, “i received a harsh spanking but i did xyz…”. That statement is rather objective and i don’t exactly say how it felt… either physical or emotional.
So i guess i can appreciate why i get asked to describe more of the feeling of things. So i’ll describe the physical AND the emotional FEELING…..
So i’ll just start with……..
CHASTITY….
Physical:
First off, i want to make it clear that it does NOT hurt. At all.
It is (somewhat) uncomfortable as it is tight and unforgiving in the restriction it imposed. But that’s the whole idea and how it’s supposed to be too!
Because it is steel, it moves as one full unit. Meaning, if you press on the back, the front moves and the same with side to side too.
i can’t get into or out of it by myself. Because it is metal, it is stiff. And all 3 of the prongs/parts have to come together and held in place, while the lock is put on. And logistically, it takes 2-hands to hold it in place and one more to apply the lock. Oh probably after some effort, i suppose i could get it on and off by myself but it wouldn’t be easy.
i suppose the difficulty comes from it being so tight. But if it weren’t so tight though, it wouldn’t do what it is supposed to: restrict access.
Now don’t misunderstand, it’s not so tight that i can’t breath, move, walk, or talk. It’s not those things, remember i already said, “it does NOT hurt.”
It does restrict access, specifically to my clit and any penetration of my puss. i suppose if i suck in air and my stomach with it, i could get my fingers between the metal and my clit. But as soon as i breath out, it would squeeze my fingers and likely cause pain. So trying to do that long enough to achieve orgasm is NOT likely!
Sir has frequently told me i touch myself way too much and i needed to control it. But …. the temptation has been too great for far too long.
In fact, touching myself without permission was the reason for a spanking gone wrong. Admittedly, i don’t touch my breasts or ass, so this is truly achieving what he wants….. controlling my ability to touch, pleasure, or orgasm without permission.
Going to the bathroom is a bit strange. i lift my dress and sit down. Because the Chastity is stainless steel and designed for 24/7 use, there is a hole in the back for poo and a grate in the front for pee. But sitting down on the toilet with the equivalent of (hard, tight, metal) panties still on and to relax enough to pee is a bit of a mental game for sure. But it does work really easily after i relax. The biggest challenge is wiping… the metal first, the sides next, and then the back. And when i don’t do it well enough, it drips down my leg. It takes a lot more time but it seems to be working.
i haven’t taken a shower with it on so i have no idea about that……
Mentally:
The chastity belt is a constant reminder that my body isn’t mine to control.
It’s kinda strange to put my hand in front of me and feel hard metal instead of soft skin, but again, a very constant and continual reminder that i should not be pleasuring myself at all. So it is both simultaneously (mentally) stimulating AND forcing me to think about other things too.
Typically when our son isn’t around and i have no panties on, i find ways to lower my puss onto Sir’s knee and seductively ask, “you want to touch it? You want to make it cum?”
But not today. Today, locked in chastity, we have talked about very non-seductive things…. tv shows, plans for dinner, what work holds this week, craft projects i have in the works, etc.
i have always loved enticing David to touch me and hoping that it was making him happy.
But in a lot of ways, i can see now (while in chastity) that those “enticements” were me putting suggestions in David’s head and it was ultimately about ME. It was me telling myself i was being submissive, because i ultimately gave him the choice to touch me or not. But that wasn’t really true, was it?
TODAY…..
Today i have been in chastity since getting out of the shower at 8:00 am and it is now approaching bed time ….more than 12-consecutive-hours.
Day 1 was only a few hours, yesterday.
Day 2 has been a very long time, today.
Even after all these hours, what i wrote above is true…. it doesn’t hurt, but a bit uncomfortable, not so unbearable i want it off. And the longer it goes, the more i am submissive in my mindset too!
Earlier in the afternoon, Sir did reach up and put his hand under my dress and tease the sides of my labia with his hand and said, “too bad you are all covered up and not possible to play with! I might’ve let you cum!”
i said, “if you want me to take it off, i can…..” (although as noted above, i probably can’t really get out of it on my own…..A-N-D……. i am NOT the one who holds the key anyway!!)
He said, “Noooooooo……If I wanted you out, I’d get you out! There’s no reason to get you out.”
And he walked away.
Later in the afternoon, Sir told me to do something and i immediately responded with, “but that’s not right…. blah blah”
And he cut me off and said, “Marie! You need to listen to me!” i immediately responded with, “i’m sorry Sir” and wished i wasn’t so quick to have responded.
He looked at me and smiled saying, “do you feel sufficiently chastised??”
i responded with, “oh yes, most definitely!”
He knew the double meaning when he used the word “chastised” and it was intentional! We both laughed.
Then as i was dressing for bed, Sir said, “you have a choice…. sleep with it in or take it off and get to cum.”
i cringed. i don’t like these types of choices. i don’t know what the “right” answer is. And i told him so.
He said, “There’s no right or wrong answer. I want to see how you’ll respond. Do what you want here.”
And i asked to be unlocked.
And to cum.
And i got it! At his hand. Not mine.
So i’m not sure how much i’ll ultimately wear it …. in any given day or how many days in general. Sir has made it clear it won’t be worn “permanently,” or “indefinitely”, but now today after having been in chastity all day, i can see the benefits of it and would willingly submit both my body and my mind to it regularly!
Maybe i’ll get to wear it overnight someday ….. and test my ultimate endurance….. but even then, i am NOT in control…. of anything. And it is VERY obvious to me while i AM in chastity!
The rest of the topics?!? Well… that will make good blog topics in the next few days. So, i’ll just end this here…..
While i’m unclear about the ultimate plan, i am happy to not know and to just submit!
Hugs,
Marie
