On a previous post, a fellow blogger suggested that i may well be a “brat.” When she suggested it, i indicated i would research it. And i have.
And i must admit, it probably does describe me. Okay, fine, it DOES define me. Scratch the word
probably from that sentence before.
But i didn’t exactly want it to be true though! The word “brat,” conjures up thoughts of a cranky, little child who is likely throwing a temper tantrum in order (to try) to get things their way. And the parent becoming incredibly annoyed that their child is acting this way, causing frustration that the parent even has to deal with this behavior.
It’s a negative behavior. Or so it seemed anyway. And i don’t want to be negative, troublesome, or to be problematic.
So all this is quite ironic because when i started googling various words and phrases about bratting, in my mind i heard myself saying things like, “i don’t even know why i am bothering to look this up. This is a waste of time. i am not a brat!!! This is just SO stupid to think this might describe me! This is SO not me!”
Kinda sounds like a cranky little kid throwing a temper tantrum, doesn’t it??? Oh my! Palm plant to the face now!
Ok…. so… after some time to “change the attitude,” i reread her exact comment that she made and it said, “Bratting isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Daddy happens to love it about me.”
Okay, so if it isn’t necessarily bad, then it could be inherently good! And she even said her Daddy likes it about her. That’s when i restarted the google search with a much improved attitude… looking for the good and not just bad.
i did this second search as i laid in bed next to Sir. One site described a submissive brat as:
“A brat is a BDSM submissive, usually female, who enjoys being mischievous, disobedient and cheeky to their dominant, usually in a lighthearted manner. A brat’s qualities will usually be fundamental to their dynamic. Brattiness may be temporary or enduring”.
When i read this (silently), i started to giggle (out loud). David asked me what was so funny and i said, “Listen to this….” and i read him that paragraph above. No preamble or backstory for him to even know what prompted the search or the read to begin with.
His response was to nod his head in agreement, to raise his eyebrows upward, and say, “oh yeah! That definitely defines you!”
He continued, “its the mischievous and cheeky words, typically in a lighthearted manner, that seem especially applicable. I always know if you are being cheeky or intentionally disobedient. You keep it fun… most of the time.”
This got me to thinking about how our entire relationship has ALWAYS been this way. We have always said things that can and often do trigger one another. But we typically do it in a lighthearted and fun way. Although in the past, when it did sometimes go too far and over the edge of acceptable, it became contentious which sometimes led to fights.
Now…… we don’t fight. We settle things according to our way of DD. It’s in these times when i particularly pushthe limit of acceptability that i find myself Assuming the Position for a spanking where often i end up regretting my actions!
But all this research and label-making got me to thinking about my entire life and things i’ve done that might’ve been brat-like-behavior. Often at the time i do it, i find myself thinking, “why did i do that??” and more often than not the answers that come back include, “because it’s fun…”, or “because i can” or “because i want to see their response.”
i ultimately don’t ever do things that truly, intentionally cause harm or pain or difficulty to others. Just enough to cause them to move out of their comfort zone and provide a good laugh (for me especially)! FYI….. While i think April Fools day is fun, i don’t typically do a lot…. because i get fearful that my idea of a joke may not be received as well (lighthearted and cheeky) as i intend it to be!
So an example of what i do do…. in public groups, i have noticed people tend to sit in the exact same place every time, like it is their assigned seat. But.. we know… it’s not. Not really anyway. So i like to disrupt their pattern.
Here’s a particular example…. i used to belong to a networking group designed to help build your customer base. We met over breakfast every week. Same day, same time, same place and for the most part… same people. And i noticed after several months of going … those same people sat in the same exact spot too.
And one day… i decided to mix it up.
i arrived a couple of minutes early and put my things in one lady (Mary) “assigned seat,” effectively ousting her and claiming it as my own. i then walked around, mixed/mingled, and waited to see her come in and discover her seat was taken…. and ultimately to see her reaction.
i wasn’t far from “the seat,” when Mary arrived. i saw her but she didn’t know i was watching her response or that i was the trouble-maker. Alright… go time!
She stopped short. Looked around. Looked confused. And then proceeded to have a “oh well” look and selected the next seat to the right. She put her things down and went to get water/bathroom before the meeting started. ohhhhh this just got interesting because that is Jeff’s spot! So the plot thickens!
So now Jeff arrives and sees his spot taken, and says in a questioning but in a calm/comfortable tone, “Who took my spot?” loud enough for most of us to hear. Well since Mary was in the bathroom no one really responded to him. So Monica is always the helpful, peace-maker, and offered up that he could sit next to her and he did. But T-H-A-T spot belonged to Lisa!! So at this point, i am smiling outwardly and giggling inwardly. i am SO bad, but this is SO fun. And i didn’t ultimately cause any real HARM. i just mixed things up ….. just a little…..
When the meeting came to order and everyone was seated, Mary says aloud, “Marie! So you are the one who took my seat…. and caused the trickle down effect…. resulting in half the room needing stronger coffee this morning!” Okay, guilty as charged… but wasn’t this fun mixing things up? (While they laughed…. i don’t think they had as much fun as i did!!)
My sister says i am a, “shit-starter,” and she rolls her eyes at me, and smiles as she says it. So i suppose on some level it makes sense that i’d be the same way with David too.
But since he’s now known me for almost 25-years now… i’d say he likes me and my crazy shenanigans so i am probably ok here! But now with DD, he even has a way to respond (positively/ no fighting) when i go too far too.
i guess I will own the label…. bratty submissive. But only the good parts.
And i’ll share some other labels in coming posts that i think would or could also apply too! i wouldn’t want to limit myself to JUST ONE! 😜
Go have a great day…. and mix up someone’s routine by taking their seat today…. it will be fun!!