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127 – Orgasm control

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(i thought this picture was hot and the words completely described my situation…. except of course have to reverse the pronouns to substitute “him” for “her.” So i used it. 🥰)

As i was laying in bed relaxing and reading before sleep last night, David came in too. But instead of just laying down beside me, he pulled back my covers and spread my legs.

Part of being truly submissive to David is whenever and wherever he wants to have sex, or any kind of sexual activity at all, i do NOT deny him. It’s not an official rule, per se but it doesn’t need to be. It is SO very understood that we don’t even need to have it as a rule. Once he said that if i ever deny him, “it better be for a damn good reason!” Most of the time, it’s all good though and veryyyyyy seldom do i even want to deny him. So no real complaints from me, mostly because it benefits me too!

Definitely not this week. This week there’s a lot of teasing and no “benefits.” David said he wants to, “get me super excited” (and ready) for our date on Friday. As if i’m not already.

So this week will be only about edging … which is getting me super close to orgasm and stop. And repeat. And never quite getting to go over the “edge” to actually be allowed to orgasm….. until Friday.

Sir then moved down between my legs, and he looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “you better not cum!”

And he pressed his face to my pussy and assaulted my clit with his tongue in such a delightful way. His tongue felt simply amazing on my clit. i started to moan in ecstasy and he pulled back and said, “you better tell me before you go over the edge!”

i must always ask to orgasm. There is never a time i don’t have to ask, including during intercourse. If i don’t, there is punishment. And sometimes that punishment is immediate with something like a slap to my pussy or the sex coming to an immediate halt or an immediate spanking. Most of the time the punishment is that the next time i ask to orgasm, the answer is, “No, you already did it the last time without permission. So you don’t get to now.” And i am denied the pleasure. If and when i do ask though, about 90% of the time, i am told yes. So it is ultimately more about respecting the rule (this is a rule), his authority, and being submissive to wait for the answer.

But this week…. there’s no point in asking. i know the answer is no. And if i didn’t know before, he made it plainly obvious when he stopped licking my needy cunt to say, “you better not cum…. if you know what’s good for you!”

That’s when he immediately put his wet and warm tongue back on my inviting pussy, playing with my clit even more. It didn’t take much and i had to (quite literally) tap him out and barely eeked out the words, “please stop Sir.”

And he did. i knew he would, but i was hoping that 1% chance would reconsider allowing me to orgasm. But it was NOT!

That’s when he asked, “how was that?”

i responded with, “Amazing. Until i had to ask you to stop.”

In truth it was bitter sweet…. awesome AND terrible… because i HAD to ask him to stop when i absolutely did NOT want to!

Not only did i not want him to stop, but i had to ask aloud for him to stop too. He knew this was an action on my part. It was a decision to acknowledge his authority, follow the rules through my submission, and an active decision to obey. Ultimately this was about more than just orgasm control! It was our D/s dynamic at work.

He said, “you didn’t want to stop.”

i said “no Sir, i did not.”

And he said, “it’s great practice for Friday! You’ll be very ready to cum then.”

He continued, “it was a great accomplishment that you stopped. You should be proud!”

Again, this was about more than just orgasm control. It was truly about submission. While he was acknowledging the actual act of stopping him and denying my own orgasm, he’s also saying he’s proud of me for submitting. And we both knew it.

i kinda mumbled a “uh huh” sound and he laughed. He said, “this is good character building. Besides B&J will get the benefits now too.”

i also think all this edging might be a bit about (preemptively eliminating) nerves too. In the past, when we meet someone, while i want to be there and do this swinging thing, i get nervous and jittery. i tend to get all shy and reserved, which Sir does not understand at all which leads to (almost) having a panic attack on my part. If i am so sexed up that i can hardly wait to take my clothes off before we even get there… well…. no nervousness and all courage! Great topic to expand on in the next post. Stay tuned for more…..

Hugs,

Marie

126 – Spring Break ends

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Finally! Today is the first Day of School for our Son since Friday March 13…..

T-H-A-T explains everything……. the last day of school was Friday the 13th! That’s what caused COVID and home school and the longest Spring Break ever. Glad to finally have all the answers! Ha!

Seriously, today is the first day back to school and the first one he’s gotten to drive himself too! (He turned 16 in the middle of the shutdown.).

So i did not drink my coffee in the nude this morning. But our Son was hardly out of the driveway and David said, “You should probably go edge now.”

While i knew that meant there really was no maybe, should, could, might to it…. that’s not what he S-A-I-D. So i got all cheeky ….. or one might say bratty….. and said, “i think you should drop the passive and just be aggressive when speaking to me.” And i immediately got my ass out of the chair and went to do it. (i got a raised eyebrow and a look but i didn’t land myself in trouble! Thank Goodness!)

Then i got in the shower. And he came in and said, “you chose to shower instead of edge??”

i said, “i already edged.”

He said, “that wasn’t long enough.”

i said, “you weren’t explicit or clear about the time either. i need details if you have something in your head.”

He said, “when you get out, edge again. And then come find me so i can check how wet you are.”

So i did. i was definitely wet!

And he proceeded to play with my puss then too. He knows from my facial expressions when i am close to orgasm. He said, “Don’t cum! You don’t get to do that until Friday…. with B&J! We will do this daily to be sure you are wet and ready for them too!”

Great…. a (work) week of edging. Again…. this week just can’t go by fast enough!!!!!

Sooooo ready to see BJ on Friday night! Time to get schooled properly!!

And our son made it to school on time, early in fact, and texted me to tell me he was there. He was actually happy to start school and be back “to normal”. Now for the rest of us to get there too!!

Hugs,

Marie

125 – Exciting weekend

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Not this past one…. but the one Coming up!

You may remember me telling you about our hot date Friday night’s (2-in a row) with BJ.

Well we have still been talking and it’s been two more weeks now. We haven’t been able to make our schedules work to get together since the last dinner. But we all want to.

i won’t deny, our schedule has been the primary problem and i worried that BJ would think we were giving them a brush-off. i’m still a little worried about it, but since we are all still chatting daily, i’m not toooooo worried.

And it seems this Friday coming up (today is Monday), we are going to get together.

This time it WILL be to get naked. We have all agreed and discussed that’s what we want next. That’s the thing about swingers…. we actually TALK and tell one another, “I want to get naked and fuck you.” Whereas when you are (unmarried) and dating, most people tend to not talk and tend to make one another “guess” what the other might be thinking or wanting.

This is why swingers are amazing!

So with our latest chat with BJ (i just love putting their initials together like that!! He he!!), we intend to get naked, fuck one another, and have fun…. this Friday! We have to still work out logistics like where…. and what to tell the kids (they have one teen in the house too). But we have a preliminary plan!

And i couldn’t be more excited!!

Typically if it’s a match sexually, then swingers meet again (and again). And at some point, they become your friends AND lovers. And you even break off in smaller groups – like maybe just me and B would go out and have sex, or just me and J, or David & J. Or do “everyday stuff” like movies or shopping together too! But we haven’t really made it too far with too many couples really. We have gotten to a “few more dates” stage before, but that’s usually when someone isn’t interested or it gets boring or schedules conflict or or or. i haven’t gotten that vibe at all with BJ, which is amazing! i feel they may be our soul-mates for awhile! ❤️. But i suppose we will know more in the coming week(s)…. especially after this Friday!

So this week needs to flyyyyy by fast! Can you distract me from watching the clock with some interesting tid bit in your life?!?!

Hugs,

Marie

124 – Being Naked

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i have been experimenting with being naked. i’ve never been one it want to be naked. I feel …. exposed. Nowhere to hide. All of my flaws are out on display.

i think my feelings (fears!) are normal. While i haven’t asked anyone specifically, i did ask Google.

i found several articles stating the many benefits of being nude, with the primary ones being to grow self-esteem, self-respect, and become less self-conscience.

i started with just sleeping naked. And even that was hard. i like to cover up. All the fat, scars, and imperfections! So i slept with a lot of covers pulled all the way to my neck.

And when i got hot….. it was an intentional decision to then shed some of the covers.

But it turns out that sleeping nude is a health benefit too. Your body has a lot to “do” when we sleep – regenerate cells and digest food among them – and having a lower body temp can promote that. So having less clothing is ideal to help your body find its best natural state, u less of course you out on SO many covers you raise your body temp instead of lowering it!!

So despite the articles and encouragement from Google, i still feel…. exposed. After giving birth, and being a mature adult…. of course i have scars and “life” shows itself on my body.

And yet, David likes it. He said it is sexy to see all that’s his on display. Or easy access. Or both!

(And easy access promotes sexual activities, which is also stated as a benefit of being nude!)

Being naked (more) was my idea at the start and it grew into something that now he likes too. Ok, fine…. he probably liked it from the start! But now he’s told me he likes it.

He says he won’t be naked…. even to sleep. Because that’s his purview to decide that and he decided no. (Big tease!)

So i am learning to like it. But i don’t know if i like-like it yet either. That’s how i am…. try it on for size and if it fits, then keep it. Otherwise, shrug it off and try on something new.

After “just” sleeping, now i have expanded to drinking my coffee in the morning in the nude too. (The new routine in the morning didn’t last long! i am just not a “get out of bed and ‘go’ kinda person! i’ve tried!)

i now sit on the couch drinking coffee, reading emails, surfing the internet and writing posts….. while nude. And Sir walks by, looks, and smiles. Sometimes he touches but most of the time he doesn’t. (Which adds to the self conscience feelings since i’m nude and he is not…. and he is now looking at me).

But now it’s even grown to the place that when we are alone (Aka: our son not home), he wants me to shed clothes and be naked as much as possible.

i suppose this might be like the no panties and no bra thing. i now don’t think twice about those things. And i am extremely comfortable with it. i hardly ever wear those things now….. and when i do it actually feels odd now. But it took awhile to embrace that too. So this will probably be the same!

So right now, i’m not sure if i like this new thing or not. i want to like it. Does that count?

Maybe i’ll get to go to a nude beach sometime too…. but that may not happen til next summer…. or at all, especially if David continues to exercise his right to keep his clothes on.

Oh – and since winter is upon us, maybe this nude thing won’t last either…. i mean, it’s cold in winter! And really, that’s a big problem for me around the house already….. i am cold! Hmmm. We shall see!

i guess i need to read more articles and build up my self confidence even more!

What about you? Do you spend time nude? How was it in the beginning?

Hugs,

Marie

Day 20: my submissiveness

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DAY 20: KINK CURIOUS…Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about or don’t understand.

Curious…. well… there so much. i guess that’s why i associate with being an experimentalist. And one day (bucket list!) i will exhaust all the possibilities and/or run out of ideas of things to try. Is that even possible?

Don’t understand?…. uhm…. i don’t understand why so many people are judgmental and close minded. Wait, that’s me in LIFE, not necessarily just really in kink. Seriously though. Why are so many people convinced that their way is the right way?

Disclaimer: i may or may not have gone off the rails with the rest of this post. Maybe i am sick or maybe i have covid! Maybe that’s the reason for this crazy opinion filled post. i’ll let you be the judge….

(While unintentional, i guess this links back a bit to my previous posts about what to do when he is wrong).

Right and wrong… in many instances there is no true right or true wrong, rather it is opinion. At the risk of all of you revolting with crazy comments to me about how WRONG i am, i am going to broach a sensitive topic here and offer up the following example…..

Masks.

Do masks work? Any mask? Or just particular ones? Or none at all?

Now i haven’t actually even given you my OPINION on the topic, but i suspect you already have your opinion. And it’s just that: opinion. Okay, now some of you are going, “no, it’s fact because i can find something on the internet to support my opinion, therefore, making it fact.”

i was waiting to check out in a store recently when an older gentleman (without a mask on) was in front of me. When he got to the counter, the cashier stood straight backed and said proud and firm, “Sir, it is the store’s policy to have everyone wear a mask. If you don’t want to be asked to leave, you need to put on a mask.”

And he responded, equally proud and firm, “then you best check me out quickly so I can get out of here equally quick before you are forced to ask me to leave.”

The cashier was stunned at his response and momentarily paralyzed really. (What do you think happened next?? What do you think is the Right answer… to the situation, what should’ve happened next, or what actually did happen next?)

So do you see the craziness here? We are all so busy trying to prove we are right, that we miss the ultimate point…. if you are so close minded and confined you are right, you may not have the right answer at all. And miss it altogether in the process of being so adamant about your opinion.

And yes, there are so many options right now regarding COVID… mask/not and go out in public/stay home, officially quarantine/not. The only things we seem to universally agree on is that washing hands and staying 6 ft apart works. (But even that,.. who decided SIX feet was the magical distancing space required? i mean, why not 7 or 8 or just 5? And has this FACT been studied to confirm it is RIGHT too? Or is that just an OPINION as well?)

Ok, so what’s my point? It’s that if there are so many opinions about everything from covid to sex…. then why can’t people be a bit more open-minded overall? Maybe recognize your thoughts are just opinions. And if you were open minded, you’d be able to objectively hear another perspective and sometimes find that your way was indeed wrong and what you are hearing at that moment is actually right.

By the way, i’m not suggesting you have to accept these opinions as your own. You just have to open enough o hear them out… and allow others to accept them as their own. i’ve said for years that, “you do you and i will do me. We can recognize we have different ways without imposing our ways on each other. And if our ways coincide, that’s even better. But in the meantime, i’ll still hear you out too.”

So ultimately i guess i just don’t understand what makes the people of the world be so adamant about their way being the only RIGHT way. And being so close minded in the process.

Do you have any opinions … or fact…. on what makes people so sure their way is the right way?

Hugs,

Marie