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138 – Complete work of fiction – #9

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Submission. No Comments on 138 – Complete work of fiction – #9

Please consider reading the previous complete work of fiction (or all of them really… starting here) if you haven’t already. Because i just hate repeating all of the beginning and just want to dive right into our fictitious story that hasn’t happened anywhere in reality, and exists solely in my mind!

It was a habit. Sir asked me a question and i responded with the trained response, “Yes Sir.” But the very second the words were out of my mouth, i realized what i’d done.

And then i smiled. Maybe it was kinda-sorta-on-purpose. Maybe i wanted to test Sir. i didn’t consciously or intentionally think through this from the start really. It just happened. But after i did it, i can’t say i was upset about it either. i had to wonder what would he do, especially with this new dynamic of us with this couple in front of us right here and now.

My words didn’t go unnoticed by any of them though. Madam started jumping up and down like a school girl, clapping her hands, and saying, “oh goodie! She already fucked up. I can’t wait to discipline her!!”

And she looked to SS and said, “you’ll let me, won’t you??” i saw her bottom lip come out as she begged her Sir to be allowed to have her way with me.

With his eyes locked on my Sir’s, not looking at her at all, he said aloud, “I’m not sure what David has in mind, but I have no doubt Marie will be regretting her actions. It isn’t my place to allow my wife to discipline his without his ultimate decision on this.”

And David looked at both of them and said, “well if this dynamic is going to work as intended, and as Marie has so obviously screwed up already by uttering words aloud…”

His eyes turned to look me dead in the eye while clearly still speaking to them, he continued by saying, “I think we will ALL have an opportunity to make Marie regret her actions tonight.”

Damn. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. All of it. Everything about this. Seriously, having THREE dominants allowed to discipline me? i was suddenly second guessing all of this. It sounded intriguing at the start, but i never anticipated having all of this at once either. And sometimes the idea of something can be way better than the actuality of it too!

i suddenly felt very unsure, insecure, and quite little. Not in a “little” submissive way, but in a small and insignificant way. Doubt had found its way to my mind.

i hung my head low. Tears were welling up in me. i wasn’t even sure if i could lay my head on Sir’s chest and ask to be enveloped in his arms for a reassuring hug, so i put my head in my hands and stood there feeling sadness overwhelm me and starting to sob.

That’s when Madam got giddy and said, “oh look, our little subby is crying. That’s so wonderful. It will now be easier to make her regret her actions as she’s halfway there already.”

i’m not sure i like her at all. In fact, i am sure i don’t.

But i quickly felt somewhat vindicated in this thought when Sir said to her, “while Marie did in fact disobey, we won’t be building a good relationship together if this is how you want to start it. Marie is a good girl to submit at all and now she’s going to be submitting to all of us. While we need to guide and train her altogether now to be the good submissive slut wife and girlfriend that we ultimately want her to be, we won’t be making her feel afraid of us in the process.”

SS looked at her and said, “Honey, your actions are less than productive here. I told you to remember who you submit to too. David is to be your Sir, as well as Marie’s. So while we are allowing you to grow in your dominant side that you switch to, I suggest you take a cue out of Marie’s book and settle yourself down because you too will now need to receive discipline!”

Oh, maybe i could indeed get used to this after all. At least i now know that Sir and SS are indeed ultimately the ones in control. So while Madam seems to have a wicked dominant side to her, that i will probably always both hate and love, it will be held in check by our men dominants too.

As i heard all this, i quieted my sobs and had emerged from my hands. i was feeling a bit better, but still very unsure of myself. David must’ve known though as he turned to me, and said, “Remember Marie, I asked you to trust me and you said you would. This new dynamic will be a good thing, but every good relationship has its bumps in the road. Do you trust me still?”

With my head looking downward, i nodded. David put his hand to my chin and tilted my face up to his so that he was once again looking directly into my eyes. He kissed me on the lips and said, “that’s my good girl.”

He pulled away and continued, “but we do have this matter of discipline to deal with now too.”

He grabbed my hand and started to forcefully walk, pulling me behind him. He looked at Madam and SS and said, “Follow me.”

This entire exchange had happened while we were just outside leaving the restaurant while standing on the sidewalk in public. i wasn’t certain where we were going or what would come next. But i did know the direction we were walking was NOT towards our cars!

David reached the end of the building and turned down the side of it into the alley way between the restaurant and another building just beside it. There was maybe 10-feet or so separating the two, just enough to walk between them but not enough space to drive there either. It was relatively dark in the alleyway and while anyone walking by could see us if they happened to look between the buildings, it was still semi secluded too.

David stopped and pushed my hand that he was holding up against the brick wall side of the building. He said, “Put both of your hands firmly on the wall at your chest level.”

Oh crap! He was going to spank me right here in public! In front of Madam and SS too. Since i knew that the thing that landed me here in the first place was speaking words aloud, i wasn’t about to object either.

In so many ways, this show of bravado, domination was such a fucking hot turn on! i was proud of David for the dominant Sir i have always wanted him and needed him to be, even if i was about to find my ass turned red right here and now! While i was suddenly filled with a bit of excitement, it was mixed with a bit of fear too. Fear of how this punishment was about to play out, whether we’d be seen by someone walking by, and how badly my butt was going to be burning in just a few minutes too. And what was everyone thinking right about now too!

But i didn’t have much time to think about all that because he said, “with your hands still on the wall, take one step backward so that you will be semi-bent over at the waist and your ass will be made available to us.”

i immediately did as told.

No sooner had i gotten into position, had he flipped my skirt up onto my back.

Second Sir said, “ohhhh how wonderful. Marie you got to cum at dinner by my fingers, but it seems that may be the last for you for awhile. I love the way David thinks and finding you here in this delectable position is so empowering for us. You are being such a good submissive right now.”

With these words of praise, i felt my pussy release some juices. Thankfully, none of my now-Dominants knew. How could i have felt so insecure 5-minutes ago, and now am so turned on? This deluge of emotions was so much to take in. But i was growing more confident that while this was a humiliating position to find myself in so soon, and my ass was about to be on fire, i was in the right place at the right time with the right people.

i heard David say, “who wants to go first?”

And Madam said in a more humble tone, “Please Sir, May I?”

To which David responded, “why certainly. Just remember though, she’s here to receive punishment for her poor behavior.”

He wasn’t hardly done speaking and i felt her presence close in on me. That’s when i felt a hard smack to my ass. Her hand slapped my right cheek so hard i cringed and my knees buckled. She must’ve anticipated my movement though because as i did so, i wasn’t able to move far because it was then that i felt her hand between my legs. She grabbed hard and pinched at my pussy and used that leverage to pull me back into position on the wall. Damn that was erotic but equally painful too!

She said, “stand upright Marie. You don’t get to move on the first slap. And I felt how wet you are. Don’t even think about orgasming. That’s not what this is about at all.”

And she proceeded to slap at my ass over and over again as i tried fervently to stand upright. Every time i fell off balance though, her hand was on my pussy and she used it to pull me back into place. Her fingers pinching my pussy as she wasn’t intending to use it as anything but leverage to pull me back into place, it served to cause both my ass and my pussy to feel simultaneous pain.

But i would be lying if i didn’t also admit to pleasure i felt too. i know she’s going to be hard on me whenever she’s given the chance to dominant me, but i just might like it too. The way she grabbed at my pussy made me hope her fingers would slide inward, but they never did. She made sure i knew this was a tease on her part. And a reminder to be a good sub in order to feel her touch in a seductive soft way that may come in the future instead of this harsh punishment way. i know i want to please her now too.

After just a couple of intense minutes of some hard smacks to my ass and feeling the pinch of my pussy, she moved aside and said, “Sirs, I do know my place and I’ve had my fun with Marie. So I know it is your turn to see to her now.”

Second Sir spoke up and said, “Honey, you did great getting Marie’s ass warmed up, and for also stepping aside. I’m proud of you but just know this doesn’t get you out of your punishment either.”

That’s when i heard SS say, “David, may I use my belt on our shared submissive?”

David said, “I’ve rarely used a belt on her, so she’s not used to that feel, but yes, feel free to train her in the way you wish.”

And i heard the sound of SS’s belt coming free from his pants. i braced myself for the pain i was about to feel. But nothing can truly prepare you for that first sting either.

i yelped as it landed. i wasn’t sure if this counted as speaking or not, since it was just guttural sounds that expressed the pain i felt. Thankfully no one commented to that effect. It surprised me when i heard the sound escape from my lips though too. i was sure to realize i needed to quiet myself to avoid anyone on the street from cracking notice also.

SS came up beside my head and leaned in to whisper near my ear, “I think that hurt. Good. It was supposed to. I’m going to give you 10 more.” So now i know ……he can and will give me pleasure under the table at dinner, but pain when necessary too.

And he returned to my backside. In my head i counted out each one. All were equally painful. Tears were starting to come down too. But i was determined to take all the strokes he promised to deliver with grace as the submissive i was. i was holding back the sobs when he was done. My ass was completely on fire and i hoped David wouldn’t take a turn or if he did it would be swift and manageable.

i heard David speak aloud, “THAT was amazing! I loved watching that. Truly a work of art in motion.”

i held my position against the wall. Wondering how much longer i’d be made to feel this pain and humiliation, while still praying there would be no one walk by and see us also. As well i heard my mind repeating the phrase, “please don’t take a turn, please don’t take a turn.”

SS said, “thank you David. Your compliments are kind. It’s now your turn, but if you don’t mind….. I’d normally have made our sub thank me for each swat I laid that belt on her ass, but seeings as she couldn’t speak, I’d like to take my thanks in another way.”

David asked, “what did you have in mind?”

He said, “I’d like it very much if on the way home she would suck my cock for the duration.”

David said, “yes, that’s a wonderful plan. And I do believe you both took an Uber here so we could ride home together, correct?”

SS said, “we did.”

That’s when David reached over and pulled my skirt back down, and pulled me into an upright position and looking all nice again. He looked at me and said, “I think you’ve taken enough punishment for now. Besides, we have better things to do tonight still too. You’ll sit in the backseat with your Second, while Honey sits in the front with me. I expect to hear your sloppy mouth keeping his cock hard all the way home. But you are not allowed to cum at all. And if you do cum, or if you don’t keep SS happy, I will take my turn at punishing you when we are home too. Do you understand?”

This time i was smart enough to simply nod with no actual audible words!

David said, “Good. Let’s head to the car now.”

That’s when SS grabbed one of my hands and said, “David’s right. No orgasms for you now. And you best not get me off either. I want to enjoy the ride home feeling your warm, tantalizing tongue on my cock, but I have more plans for when we are home. So don’t go ruining things by getting me off in the car. Your job is to thank me for the discipline, but not suck me dry. Otherwise David’s promise of more discipline will be assuredly in your immediate future! A precarious balance you must maintain.”

Yes, a precarious balance indeed.

To be continued……

Hugs,

Marie

137 – masochist … am i?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 137 – masochist … am i?

A few weeks back, i started talking about the various (numerous!) labels of a submissive and never finished those thoughts. Since that’s been on my mind lately, i am now circling back there.

i happen to think ANY AND ALL submissives willing to bend over and receive discipline IS indeed a masochist. (i also think the dominant willing to administer the discipline is also a sadist. But that’s an entirely different topic series so i’ll just set that down right there and leave it.)

Maybe. Probably. At least on some level. Y-E-S. Every sub is a masochist.

Why do i say that?

Masochist by definition is a person who takes pleasure in pain and suffering.

And typically that pleasure and pain is derived from sexual activity, although it doesn’t have to be.

Okay, so YES. i DO take pleasure in pain and suffering. So YES, i AM a masochist.

But that pleasure may not be quite (probably) how you may thinking though too. NO, i don’t derive joy from the actual pain. i truly don’t! While i do sometimes get a little bit wet between the legs, it is never something that i am even aware of. And usually when you are sexually turners on, you are well aware. David does sometimes put his fingers down there to check, and he almost always comments about what he finds. He especially and most often does this when we are doing maintenance sessions. And most times, he will continue to fondle my puss until i orgasm, but this is never a given and only at David’s discretion.

And i am ALWAYS surprised when he tells me i am wet. i have never once felt sexually aroused at the pain of a spanking. i have tried to analyze the “why” this could happen without feeling mentally or being aware of how i am physically aroused. To no avail. i’ll maybe write about that some time too. But that’s another post as well!

i do take pleasure, however, in pleasing David. And in times that i accept punishment for wrong doing, it ultimately means having to accept pain and suffering. And when he is pleased at how i have accepted it with grace (and submission), THAT makes me happy.

So my pleasure in pain and suffering is nothing more than a math formula. A= B, and B= C, so A= C. In this math problem —- >

A= my pleasure,

B= discipline to accept correction,

C= pain and suffering.

Maybe it is the fact that i know i am making David happy when i recognize/agree with him that discipline is necessary to fix bad behaviors, such that I willingly accept discipline, that it causes me to be wet between the legs. But again, i didn’t say “sexual pleasure is coming from experiencing pain and suffering.”

So yes, i think i am a masochist. But not in the most traditional definition of it either.

All that said – i was out shopping a bit with my sister today at a couple of quaint little antique-type shops when i spied a well-used razor strop. And i immediately thought, “i wonder if its well-used-position was a result of really making a razor sharp, or someone’s back side red?!!?!”

The picture here is that strop i saw. i couldn’t help but pull out my phone and snap a pic. Will it cause pleasure, pain, or suffering or all of the above?!

My sister doesn’t really know about our dynamic, not really, so i didn’t say my thoughts out loud. But i won’t deny, i contemplated buying it and having David test its strength on my backside. And all of these thoughts did make me wet! Today i felt the telltale sign of the release of liquid from my puss, right there in the shop. So maybe i AM a masochist in the truest sexual pain equals pleasure equation too! (Everyone knows that by rearranging the algebra equation you get an entirely different answer! Who ever said you didn’t need algebra in real world life was so incorrect!)

No matter – i will own the masochist submissive title – one way or the other!

What do you think… am i a masochist … traditionally or otherwise? What about you…. are you a masochist or are you dominating one? i think the answers are all YES!

Hugs,

Marie

134 – Permission or Forgiveness?

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Sometimes asking permission is better than asking forgiveness. And sometimes not. But most of the time, especially in my marriage, i think it is.

The phrase “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission,” has been used to justify some less than altruistic purposes over the years. But that was never the intention when Admiral Grace Hopper popularized the phrase in 1982. What she meant was that (sometimes) it is better to act decisively and apologize for it later, than to seek approval to act and risk delay, objections, etc. and if you read the quote (exactly) as it is above, you can easily see that she’s saying, “if it’s a GOOD idea….(THEN move forward).”

When Navy officer Hopper was quoted with these words, she was talking specifically about her work on computers during WWII. At the time, 99% of Americans (maybe all people worldwide) had never seen a computer, and likely most didn’t know what it would be used for even if they had seen one.

Because she knew she was in the military (government), probably the biggest red tape society that ever existed, asking permission may have been tantamount to nothing more than an exercise in learning patience and the zen practices of relaxation. For all the waiting…… AND waiting…she’d have to do if she asked permission for everything she wanted to do. So she decided to go for it and ask forgiveness later.

In my normal/daily/ boring life, and especially at work, i agree with Hopper. i think that taking calculated risks that are ultimately designed for the better, is a good thing! Much of the time, this is successful and other people appreciate the initiative taken by those that just went for it. And in those few times where it is not successful, you ask forgiveness and hope the non-success wasn’t too detrimental in the end and that the forgiveness is granted!

But in my marriage, it is FAR better to ask permission than forgiveness. Permission is zen and peaceful, whereas forgiveness is loud and painful (when the paddle collides with my rear end)!

So i recently asked for a spanking when i really kinda thought i didn’t need to or shouldn’t have to have one. While i thought my anger was justified, i knew i wasn’t full of submissive or respectful thoughts about and towards my husband. It was the anger and stress that i was feeling that caused me to think i needed to be spanked. If nothing else, i figures that the spanking would promote stress relief. So i asked permission to receive a spanking.

But that spanking did NOT happen, as i had expected!

David decided i did not need it. At all. While i wasn’t in a submissive mindset at the time, i handled the situation wayyyyyy better than i might would have in the past (Aka: pre-DD). For that alone, i was indeed acting submissive!

He respected that i asked for (permission) a spanking and admitted to my less-than-submissive thoughts too.

So by ASKING for a spanking…. and admitting my fault, he told me a spanking was simply not necessary.

He also said that if i had not admitted my stress or non-submissive mindset, or if i had actually yelled at him… i assuredly would have had a hard time sitting down after that.

So by asking permission and not just going for it to have to ask for forgiveness, my actions were positively rewarded!

He also explained that as he was talking to me about the problem at hand…….. the one he wanted me to call about…… the more annoyed he became at the Company. So that’s when he decided i would likely have “been nice” to them if i had talked to them directly so he decided to call himself and try to get it done directly.

He apologized for having wasted my time and for not telling me he decided to call himself. And all in all…. he recognized he was not in the right.

i was validated! And avoided punishment and got an apology. All because i held my temper and my tongue and was willing to submit to a spanking … if for no other reason than stress relief!

So see……submissiveness really works!

Of course, then the next day was a Friday so there’s the maintenance session(s) anyway! But still. i avoided TWO spankings for the week at least!

i think i’ll talk more about maintenance again soon. It’s just so hard to explain why i actually like it, and why it too is a good thing. But i’ll give it another try.

Hugs,

Marie

133 – How VERY normal i am

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 133 – How VERY normal i am

i know the things i blog about are very much NOT the norm for most people. But that’s what makes it very crazy and very fun to read… and well…. to live and write about to.

But i quite literally tell you about the only very crazy part of my life. i don’t tell you the very boring parts. Why? Because they are quite simply ….very boring.

i live in a very suburban neighborhood, a very average suburban house, and work at a very normal day job.

i wear (mostly) very conservative clothing to work because i do live and work in Texas, a very (overall) conservative views state. And while people say my career is very boring, i like my job very much. i would be very sad if my job were to end.

In fact, aside from our marriage dynamic, i am a very boring, very average, very normal everyday person.

i am SO very average, that i have said for many years i must be a chameleon. i look like every other common person on the planet!

While it hasn’t happened lately, frequently over the years when i meet new people, they say things like, “I’ve met you before.” And they proceed to rack their brain for any commonality that could lead them to the ephiphany moment of where we met before. This happens while i sit thinking, “i don’t know you and …. oh no…. here we go again….. how do i politely tell them that no, we do NOT know each other??”

Once was i was in a grocery store, a complete stranger was so very sure she knew me and said hello. Then she realized i was not the person she thought i was, but was still so very sure she had met me somewhere. When i politely said i really don’t think we have met, she was insistent and became determined to figure it out. She asked me, “do you go xyz church?” (No) …. “Did you go to xyz High school? (No)

i kindly excused myself and went to the next aisle. When she turned the corner too (we were coming from opposite ends toward each other), she then asked if i had a child in xyz sporting event. (No).

And this continued in the next aisle too! Was i related to so-and-so? (No). That’s when i got smart and skipped two aisles and managed to avoid her after that!

i say all this because i think people think i am some very strange person to WANT all this DD in my life. i also wonder if you are in a similar D/s relationship and may sometimes think, “my Dom isn’t as good/ strict/good as hers” or even, “I’m not as good a sub as she is.”

Well, i think you’d be surprised to know, and i dare say, if you saw me on the street, i would be your very average girl/mom walking by. i am so very ordinary in fact, that you may not even take notice otherwise!

All that really means is that i keep my very crazy shenanigans on the very down low.

However, that’s not really very hard to do since all my very crazy activities revolves solely in my marriage too. It doesn’t spill into my very ordinary life at all.

Additionally, while i am talking about how very average i am, i want to say – so are you. And that’s a good thing! That means – we are very much alike.

So don’t compare what you read about my Sir/Dom to yours or compare your submissiveness (or your relationship altogether) to mine. Why? Because first, we are all different. But second, it’s really very hard to keep this D/s dynamic going on a 24/7 basis. And third, remember you are reading about the “newsworthy” stuff. That means we all very much have very normal lives. i just chose to tell you about the very crazy moments in my life. But the rest of it….. well…. it’s very boring!

So don’t read stuff on the Internet or in a book and think, “they have it altogether, all figured out, and ‘perfect’. I sure wish my life was that way.” Because no one’s life is that way. You are simply reading about the stuff they chose to tell you….. which in most cases is, “newsworthy.”

i love how very average and very normal and very chameleon-like i (and you!) am. And i hope you like you too!

[Did you notice all the times i wrote “very”? i recently had a conversation where a friend told me she hates that word and wishes it could be struck from the English language. It also reminded me of an English teacher in HS who said the same thing also. Here are some synonyms for very: extremely, precise, actual, immensely, tremendously, exceedingly, powerfully, extra. And i could go on. But i won’t. i’ll just tell you….. i really had a very, VERY, V-E-R-Y good time writing that word in today’s VERY boring, normal post about life! It made it VERY exciting and newsworthy!]

Hugs!

Marie

132 – Submission… put to the test

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 132 – Submission… put to the test

i have said before that when i am stressed at work, i am NOT the best submissive at all. i tend to be short-tempered, have no time (or tolerance) for small talk, and want to get answers/solutions – not problems!

Today was one of those days.

Sir called me at work and asked me to do something. i barely had time to talk on the phone and he’s like, “So do you know anything about this situation….. and can you call and find out? I’d call, but the account is in your name and I’m not sure they will talk to me.”

What I heard was, “blah, blah, blah…. I’m taking up your time …. you need to call.…. ok, so I’m going to talk some more and take up even more of your time even though I know you don’t have it, if for no other reason than …. I can.”

And what i said was, “Yes, great. i’ll call right now.”

Well….. so i knew i needed to probably not speak to him “that” short, and even throw in a “Sir” word here or there, but it was better than saying what i really wanted to too. i just wanted off the phone and to make this call right away to get it off my to-do list. So when we hung up, i called. Immediately.

But that’s when i needed a 2-way authentication code to “verify i am who i say i am,” but it was one that was sent to his phone. When i texted him to get the code from him, he didn’t answer or give me the code before it timed out. So then i was even more annoyed!

i texted saying, “please tell me when i can send the get the code resent to you that you’ll be able to respond timely.”

(Ok, so i already told you i am NOT submissive and more of a ‘cut to the chase and let’s get this done’ person when i get stressed….. but at least i did say “please”. Ha!)

That’s when he texted back, “I’m on the phone with them right now.”

And all I could think was, “WTF!?! You wasted my time talking about this between you/i and NOW even more wasted time as i try to get this done!!! And NOW you just went and did it anyway!?! And didn’t bother to tell me either?!?”

That’s when i was at least smart enough to put my phone down and not text or talk to him. And i went back to my original to-do list that had me stressed out in the first place.

Instead, i vented to a friend all about this. She is also in a similar D/s with DD marriage. So i knew she’d understand! She is very wise and i respect her words and perspective fully.

As always, her perspective did indeed help me! She said, “Now… let’s brain storm how you can handle things so that when you get home you avoid a red ass.”

(Even she knew i was in hot water for the way i was speaking to Sir….. which if i didn’t calm down this to respond better, that my rear end would be on the losing end if i continued on this path!)

She suggested i request to be spanked to relieve the stress.

i told her i didn’t want to do that.

WHY would i want to request a spanking politely if i could simply spew my anger, and earn one legitimately?!?

That’s when she asked, “What aspect of the spanking do you not want? David’s dominance, the pain, admitting to both D & yourself that you reacted poorly to the situation, the relief that’ll come after? Something I’m missing???”

And i responded to her by saying, “I want the relief after …. but I don’t want any of that first part. No, you aren’t missing anything. You know me too damn well!”

But the part i didn’t want to admit to her, and possibly even to myself, was THE aspect i didn’t like the most was the “admitting to both D & yourself that you reacted poorly to the situation”. Because while i did do that (react poorly), i felt like he was wrong in how he acted. He knew i was stressed, facing deadlines, and had zero time. And then he didn’t bother to even tell me he was just going to take care of it anyway!

But……..

Let’s face it, we all know “two wrongs don’t make a right” and i’ve already told you that it just doesn’t matter! Submit anyway!

And she said, “I just want my beautiful friend to feel better. But you probably know what you need to do too.”

So before i changed my mind, i texted David, “i need to be spanked. Soon.”

And he wrote back, “I agree.”

Then he asked, “I know why I think you do, but why do you think you do?”

Great. Trick question. i told him the truth. How he made me made and my thoughts. But ultimately how my thoughts were far from submissive.

He wrote, “I could tell you were mad, but I didn’t know why.”

So he agreed.

i already felt relief come over me. So could we just skip the spanking-pain part ?!?!

The rest of the day was way more productive than beforehand. When i got home, we didn’t talk about this. i know it will happen in the morning. Our son doesn’t know about the spanking and we like to keep it that way. So i have no doubt when he’s off to school, i will he told to Assume The Position. And i gladly will….. although again, can we just skip this part now??

While the pain will suck, the ultimate relief will be good. And i do want David’s dominance, but i don’t want the humiliation of having to ask for it or say it out loud either.

What i know is my wise friend thinks a lot like me, so she’s easy to talk to and helps me do things i don’t want to do, but i know i need to do. And she saved me today from yelling at my husband, causing an even bigger problem.

(See D/s with DD works!)

But do i ultimately still think he’s wrong? Would i have possibly avoided a spanking if i had not asked for it? Would i have gotten (stress) relief some other way?

i don’t know the answers to those questions and i never will…. but i suspect the answer is “yes.”

But does it matter? i asked to submit from the start of our D/s dynamic, i still (really) want it, and …. it works. Really, it does! Even when i’m mad, he’s wrong, and i don’t want to submit.

Hugs,

Marie