137 – masochist … am i?

A few weeks back, i started talking about the various (numerous!) labels of a submissive and never finished those thoughts. Since that’s been on my mind lately, i am now circling back there.

i happen to think ANY AND ALL submissives willing to bend over and receive discipline IS indeed a masochist. (i also think the dominant willing to administer the discipline is also a sadist. But that’s an entirely different topic series so i’ll just set that down right there and leave it.)

Maybe. Probably. At least on some level. Y-E-S. Every sub is a masochist.

Why do i say that?

Masochist by definition is a person who takes pleasure in pain and suffering.

And typically that pleasure and pain is derived from sexual activity, although it doesn’t have to be.

Okay, so YES. i DO take pleasure in pain and suffering. So YES, i AM a masochist.

But that pleasure may not be quite (probably) how you may thinking though too. NO, i don’t derive joy from the actual pain. i truly don’t! While i do sometimes get a little bit wet between the legs, it is never something that i am even aware of. And usually when you are sexually turners on, you are well aware. David does sometimes put his fingers down there to check, and he almost always comments about what he finds. He especially and most often does this when we are doing maintenance sessions. And most times, he will continue to fondle my puss until i orgasm, but this is never a given and only at David’s discretion.

And i am ALWAYS surprised when he tells me i am wet. i have never once felt sexually aroused at the pain of a spanking. i have tried to analyze the “why” this could happen without feeling mentally or being aware of how i am physically aroused. To no avail. i’ll maybe write about that some time too. But that’s another post as well!

i do take pleasure, however, in pleasing David. And in times that i accept punishment for wrong doing, it ultimately means having to accept pain and suffering. And when he is pleased at how i have accepted it with grace (and submission), THAT makes me happy.

So my pleasure in pain and suffering is nothing more than a math formula. A= B, and B= C, so A= C. In this math problem —- >

A= my pleasure,

B= discipline to accept correction,

C= pain and suffering.

Maybe it is the fact that i know i am making David happy when i recognize/agree with him that discipline is necessary to fix bad behaviors, such that I willingly accept discipline, that it causes me to be wet between the legs. But again, i didn’t say “sexual pleasure is coming from experiencing pain and suffering.”

So yes, i think i am a masochist. But not in the most traditional definition of it either.

All that said – i was out shopping a bit with my sister today at a couple of quaint little antique-type shops when i spied a well-used razor strop. And i immediately thought, “i wonder if its well-used-position was a result of really making a razor sharp, or someone’s back side red?!!?!”

The picture here is that strop i saw. i couldn’t help but pull out my phone and snap a pic. Will it cause pleasure, pain, or suffering or all of the above?!

My sister doesn’t really know about our dynamic, not really, so i didn’t say my thoughts out loud. But i won’t deny, i contemplated buying it and having David test its strength on my backside. And all of these thoughts did make me wet! Today i felt the telltale sign of the release of liquid from my puss, right there in the shop. So maybe i AM a masochist in the truest sexual pain equals pleasure equation too! (Everyone knows that by rearranging the algebra equation you get an entirely different answer! Who ever said you didn’t need algebra in real world life was so incorrect!)

No matter – i will own the masochist submissive title – one way or the other!

What do you think… am i a masochist … traditionally or otherwise? What about you…. are you a masochist or are you dominating one? i think the answers are all YES!




  1. I always get turned on/excited by the prospect of a spanking, not the actual spanking itself. I know beyond doubt it will hurt like blazes but I am always wet with anticipation at the moment I know the spanking is going to happen. I think it’s something to do with the way our bodies react to certain stimuli, a counter balance to the pain perhaps? I always thought it was just me, I am masochistic for sure, I revel in sharp pain and it brings it’s own kind of pleasure. Ergo, I am masochist. I’ll own that tag happily. I do however have a sadistic streak in me, I will willingly inflict pain as well as receive it, although to a much lesser degree. So, I guess I must be a sadomasochist. Interesting and thought provoking post Marie! I enjoyed exploring my own reactions because of it. xx

  2. I must agree with Gem! I am always turned on by the prospect of a spanking, but when it actually starts I cannot wait for it to be over! I imagine this does make me a masochist. I also think that I would quite enjoy dominating another woman and making her suffer…so, I guess there is probably a sadist hiding within me as well, though I am doubtful that she will ever come out and play.
    And…you should have purchased this razor strop… I think my new mission, once everything opens back up, will be to scour the antique shops looking for one…and I am sure that I will greatly regret that should I find one!

    • I think it’s the endorphins and the feeling of “excitement” that endorphins create and release. But I’m not a scientist or a doctor, so I won’t go any further into that…. since I really do not know! Lol.

      Yes, weird indeed!!

    • Not so much weird I don’t think as knowledgeable and in tune with our needs! If I see a piece of fillet steak on a plate my mouth waters, I know how it will taste in my mouth, the texture of it and the anticipation builds. I can’t wait for that flavour to satisfy my taste buds. It doesn’t exactly excite me, it just fills me with delightful anticipation for something I know I will enjoy. For me, that reaction is no different to the reaction I get when I am anticipating a spanking except it’s much more heightened! 😀 xx

  3. What a complicated subject. I think it has to do with a multitude of physiological, emotional, hormonal, life experiences and emotional aspects. I think they all play into it. I am sure scholars could write papers on this. My husband and I are CDD couple. We met online at a CDD dating site. When my husband gets all ‘dom’ on me I melt! Including between my legs. He does not have to lay a spanking hand on me he can make my qwirm qwiver! There is something about a man being a man and taking charge that turns me on. It always has. Why that is…I have no clue other than God made man/husbands to be in charge and women/wives to submit. It is a turn on. When my husband spanks me it is painful. The pain in itself does nothing for me; it is me being over my husbands lap bare naked being held down and my butt is being punished by the man I love. Now that jarring to my butt is real close to my ‘woman hood’. I know he is looking at it. I just think it is natural and ok. Masochist ….I don’t know. I would get very angry if I was punished anywhere else but my butt including the hole of course. But this is a good subject.


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