Skip to main content

Tag: my submissiveness

Day 20: my submissiveness

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on Day 20: my submissiveness

DAY 20: KINK CURIOUS…Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about or don’t understand.

Curious…. well… there so much. i guess that’s why i associate with being an experimentalist. And one day (bucket list!) i will exhaust all the possibilities and/or run out of ideas of things to try. Is that even possible?

Don’t understand?…. uhm…. i don’t understand why so many people are judgmental and close minded. Wait, that’s me in LIFE, not necessarily just really in kink. Seriously though. Why are so many people convinced that their way is the right way?

Disclaimer: i may or may not have gone off the rails with the rest of this post. Maybe i am sick or maybe i have covid! Maybe that’s the reason for this crazy opinion filled post. i’ll let you be the judge….

(While unintentional, i guess this links back a bit to my previous posts about what to do when he is wrong).

Right and wrong… in many instances there is no true right or true wrong, rather it is opinion. At the risk of all of you revolting with crazy comments to me about how WRONG i am, i am going to broach a sensitive topic here and offer up the following example…..

Masks.

Do masks work? Any mask? Or just particular ones? Or none at all?

Now i haven’t actually even given you my OPINION on the topic, but i suspect you already have your opinion. And it’s just that: opinion. Okay, now some of you are going, “no, it’s fact because i can find something on the internet to support my opinion, therefore, making it fact.”

i was waiting to check out in a store recently when an older gentleman (without a mask on) was in front of me. When he got to the counter, the cashier stood straight backed and said proud and firm, “Sir, it is the store’s policy to have everyone wear a mask. If you don’t want to be asked to leave, you need to put on a mask.”

And he responded, equally proud and firm, “then you best check me out quickly so I can get out of here equally quick before you are forced to ask me to leave.”

The cashier was stunned at his response and momentarily paralyzed really. (What do you think happened next?? What do you think is the Right answer… to the situation, what should’ve happened next, or what actually did happen next?)

So do you see the craziness here? We are all so busy trying to prove we are right, that we miss the ultimate point…. if you are so close minded and confined you are right, you may not have the right answer at all. And miss it altogether in the process of being so adamant about your opinion.

And yes, there are so many options right now regarding COVID… mask/not and go out in public/stay home, officially quarantine/not. The only things we seem to universally agree on is that washing hands and staying 6 ft apart works. (But even that,.. who decided SIX feet was the magical distancing space required? i mean, why not 7 or 8 or just 5? And has this FACT been studied to confirm it is RIGHT too? Or is that just an OPINION as well?)

Ok, so what’s my point? It’s that if there are so many opinions about everything from covid to sex…. then why can’t people be a bit more open-minded overall? Maybe recognize your thoughts are just opinions. And if you were open minded, you’d be able to objectively hear another perspective and sometimes find that your way was indeed wrong and what you are hearing at that moment is actually right.

By the way, i’m not suggesting you have to accept these opinions as your own. You just have to open enough o hear them out… and allow others to accept them as their own. i’ve said for years that, “you do you and i will do me. We can recognize we have different ways without imposing our ways on each other. And if our ways coincide, that’s even better. But in the meantime, i’ll still hear you out too.”

So ultimately i guess i just don’t understand what makes the people of the world be so adamant about their way being the only RIGHT way. And being so close minded in the process.

Do you have any opinions … or fact…. on what makes people so sure their way is the right way?

Hugs,

Marie

Day 17: My Submissiveness

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on Day 17: My Submissiveness

DAY 17: “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT … “What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?”

Where do i start?? Lol! Ok, seriously, i feel like i could talk about quite a few. But THE one i’ll talk about here is….

Kinky people are not abnormal. (See that double negative there… that means kinky people ARE normal).

When you hear the word “kinky,” it is in reference to (and an adjective of ) how they like their sex. So in that sense, i admit kinky people are not mainstream, but they (we!) are indeed still normal.

Yet, i would like to even out forth the argument that they ARE mainstream, just in the closet. i happen to think that kinky sex people are the new closet-lurkers that used to be inhabited by the gay/lesbian community. But once the gay/lesbian people evacuated the closet, kinky sex people took their place.

Or maybe kinky sex people were always in the closet, yet with gay/lesbian standing at the front (nearest the exit), no one noticed us there. Until of course, gay/lesbians decided to open the door and outted themselves.

i think kinky became the new closet-lurkers with the release of 50 Shades. i think EL James let the world know, “we are here, now in the closet alone, which is cool by us because this just gives us more room to spread out in here and to explore our sexual preferences… yet still in the dark too.”

i think the word “kinky” could be replaced with “adventurous” or “adrenaline junky” too.

i think it humorous when people want to scare themselves intentionally via watching a horror movie, or getting on an extreme roller coaster, or skydiving from an otherwise perfectly good airplane – and yet – having adventurous sex seems abnormal, odd, strange, or unusual.

So somehow getting my type of adrenaline junky adventure on has deemed me odd, strange, or unusual. Yet scaring myself until i cry, urinate myself, or otherwise cause my heart to race itself into a premature attack is deemed acceptable. (Okay, so sometimes maybe kinky sex causes crying, urination, and heart attacks too…. but … again, that just goes to show we are normal and why is our adrenaline seeking methods less acceptable than others?)

i dare say, like gay/lesbians, we are probably enjoying better and more frequent sex than the nay-saying, mainstream community has ever had.

i have asked the questions above about “why are kinky people’s methods deemed abnormal when the other mainstream activities are not.?” But you and i both ultimately know the answer…. because it’s not the way we were raised, because we aren’t supposed to be with more than one lover at a time, because we shouldn’t like being spanked or treated like a child or otherwise degraded….. or so it would seem to the outsider anyway!

And yet…. we do.

Our likes (and dislikes) don’t make us abnormal. i’d say maybe judgements and misunderstandings should be deemed the abnormal behavior here and the mainstream should be forced to bend a little. Oh wait…. that’s already happened by those gay/lesbian peeps before us. Honestly, while i think kinky people are ready to also evacuate the closet, we will probably just ease out slowly and walk along the path that those gay/lesbian (and EL James) Trail Blazers already cut for the rest of us!

So when someone at work, who you deem “normal” tells you some crazy and kinky story about their sex life…. don’t change your opinions about them one iota. They are still normal too!

Oh – and if/when mainstream DOES “bend a little” – i hope it’s so they bend OVER to get spanked or at least to have some of the best sex of their lives!

Hugs ~

Marie

109 – Complete work of Fiction. # 3

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Submission. No Comments on 109 – Complete work of Fiction. # 3

If you haven’t read parts 1 & part 2, i would suggest maybe you should. It will likely help to know the introduction and the middle before reading this ending. (Yes, it is the ending!But prepare yourself for a long read too!)

MY 50th BIRTHDAY.… was off to an amazing start! i have full intentions of making my 50’s even better than the 40’s and definitely better than the 30’s! And David is already helping me get it started in grand fashion.

These are all the thoughts i had as i was drying off from the shower and walked to the bedroom to see what he’d laid out for me to wear for the day. He doesn’t normally pick my clothes out, but i do find it sexy when he does.

What i found there on the bed was a solid leather collar, wrist and ankle cuffs…all were purple…. Sir’s favorite color. That was all. Nothing else. We don’t do a lot of bondage, but when we do, it is typically when he wants me to be in a super-submissive mindset and to be made fully aware that he is in control. i already knew that was what today would be about anyway, and that already made me happy and let’s be honest… wet between the legs too!

There was nothing else on the bed so i knew I’d be spending most, if not all, of the day naked. i’ve come to rather like being naked, as Sir has gradually encouraged, and sometimes required me to be naked when it’s just the two of us. He rather enjoys looking at me whenever he wants to and i like him doing it too! He’s rarely naked though. He knows i’d like that for him too, but it’s because i’d like it that he doesn’t do it too often. He teases me like that.

So as i walked to the living room, with only my collar and 4-cuffs on, i was not surprised to see him fully dressed. In fact, he was pretty dressed up for the day so THAT did surprise me. He had on slacks, a button down shirt, a shirt coat, and dress shoes. Wow. That is my favorite look on him and he knows it!

i smiled as i saw him and said, “i love the outfits you picked out for both of us Sir! Quite sexy!”

He said, “Yes indeed. You look equally amazing!”

Because it was Thanksgiving not just my birthday, he was cooking a thanksgiving meal already too. He ALWAYS cooks. We have a deal of he cooks, i clean. So i asked if i could help and so we went to both preparing the lunch meal together.

We had it pretty well completed at about 11. And it was a LOT of food, to which, i still had no idea who or how many people would even be joining us. But i trusted Sir and knew i didn’t need to even be concerned about it.

That’s when he told me, “Now it’s time to set the table. You are first.”

i had no idea what that even meant and he could tell from the confusion on my face. He let out a bit of a laugh and grabbed my hand as we walked to the dining room.

He said, “climb up on the table and lay on your back.”

“ON the table Sir?”

“Yes. That’s what I said. I didn’t stutter, did I?”

“No sir.” And so for the first time ever, i climbed onto our dining room table and laid on my back.

He said, “Great. Now i am going to put these cuffs to good use. Spread your arms and legs toward each of the 4-corners.”

So i did as told as he walked to one of the 4-corners himself. Apparently he had put the under-the-bed restraint system under-the-dining-room-table. And he attached the hooks to each of my cuffs one by one so that i was able to move, but only slightly!

He then proceeded to set the table with plates, silver ware, and glassware all around me. i was indeed the centerpiece of the table as a decoration of sorts. He then placed the prepared dishes all around as well. The turkey and dressing, and all the typical Thanksgiving food affairs! The food smelled so grand, the table was so full, and i wondered just how this would ultimately happen. And all he kept saying was, “patience my dear,” as i waited.

And that’s when the doorbell rang. He looked me in the eye and said, “Right on schedule!” He leaned down and kissed me and said, “No matter what happens today, never doubt my love for you! You are free to speak, unless specifically told otherwise. Just remember though, if you do as you are told, today will be absolutely perfect!”

“i trust you Sir.”

Sir went to the door and greeted a man who David seemed to know, but who’s voice i had never heard. i could feel my heart racing and told myself, “Calm yourself. This will be good!” And i closed my eyes as i concentrated on slowing my heart rate.

i heard footsteps and knew they were coming towards me. David said, “Marie, I’d like you to meet Sir #2.”

i opened my eyes and looked at David and said, “My Sir, with all respect, i am confused. Can you please explain ‘Sir #2’ please”.

David said, “You will meet several people today for the first time. You will let them use you anyway they please. And the one that pleases us both the best, and to which i approve the most, will become your second Sir…. (and he paused for dramatic effect and with a smile he added)……..or Ma’am.”

He continued, “I sometimes find you difficult to manage on my own to the level that you need, mentally and physically. You sometimes need to have your holes used or you need to be disciplined more than I have the mental energy to exert. So I have decided a Second would be quite appropriate. It will hold you to a higher standard and allow me a break when needed too.

And let’s face it, with sexual activity involved too, i could benefit too if the Second is a female. As you are fully aware, i am a very straight man. So i already have a predetermined preference to having the chosen Second ultimately be a female, but i know you will respond to both! So we shall see who proves to be the best Second today.”

Then he said, “Do not misunderstand…. I will always be your Sir, husband, and first love. And each of these individuals know that i am your ultimate Alpha. They’ve all been made aware that as it relates to you, they will have full access and ability to dominate you, unless of course, I am exercising my right first. I’m only choosing to share you in order to get you to a more submissive level on a more regular and continued basis.

This is the dynamic I wish to have for us going into your 50’s. So I decided that today would be the perfect opportunity to be an interview day for all of these individuals, who I have of course already previously met and vetted. They have all agreed to spend this day altogether with us enjoying YOU on Thanksgiving in a festive and fun setting. But make no mistake, they are here to demonstrate their ability to Dominant and to see which one you respond to the best. Are you agreeable to this arrangement?”

i looked David in the eye and said, “Yes Sir, i am agreeable! In fact, this will be an amazing and fun day! This is the best present ever!”

David said, “I’m glad you are pleased. Now please greet our first guest.”

i turned my eyes to the gentleman, who was dressed up in a similar manner to David, and quite politely said, “Very nice to meet you Sir #2.”

And he grinned. And then the doorbell rang… again and again. i greeted each one in turn, Sir #3, Ma’am #4, Sir #5 and so on. They had no names only numbers. i wondered if i’d ever know their true names, but i wasn’t sure it even mattered too.

After i greeted each one, and they were all present, i saw there were a total of 10 total…. 6 men and 4 women all surrounding our dining room table. All were dressed up with nice attire as if they were at an evening dinner event out rather than a Thanksgiving luncheon in our home. And of course, i was completely naked, save the collar and cuffs…. restrained and spread eagle on the dining room table.

TO BE CONTINUED……

Okay friends…. i know what i said about being the “end”, but this seems like a good place to stop and the post is already quite long. Soooooo…… wait until the next installment of “Complete Work of Fiction” to find out more….. which really WILL be the end. i sure hope one day i can report this is NOT fiction, but reality! 😉❤️🥳

Hugs,

Marie

Day 16 – My Submissiveness

Written by Marie on . Posted in my submissiveness, Submission. No Comments on Day 16 – My Submissiveness

DAY 16: DIFFICULTIES…What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Hmm. This is a hard one for me to answer really. Probably because admitting your faults (or difficulties) is never a fun thing to do or talk about. But i guess i’d have to say…..

Not taking over. Not snatching back the authority i gave up. i do this a lot …. with David AND God.

When i was little, my Mom would tell me to “Give it to God.” And so i would. i would pray. And a day (or two) later, i’d (more or less) decide God took too long and i’d go “fix it myself.” Of course, this never worked then or now… but it feels like i am “doing” something!

Some of this “take it back” attitude basically comes from the idea of “empowerment”. Ok, even i’m not sure that makes complete sense in just one sentence, so let me explain…..

i grew up believing some of the rhetoric we hear in life, like “if you want it done right, do it yourself.” And like Nike says, “Just Do it.” And don’t forget the idea of, “you can do anything you set your mind to.”

So…. i have. Just done it. Myself. Anything i wanted to.

Couple this with the fact that i absolutely HATE asking for help. NO, i am NOT too stubborn or too prideful to accept it. Rather i know when i ask for help, i (feel like i) am putting someone else out to have them stop what they are doing and to help me. And i feel bad that i did that to them. (Never mind the fact that sometimes it is/ was their JOB to do what i need… i’ve still felt bad that i imposed upon them.)

The trouble is: i can’t always do everything myself. There are things i am simply not strong enough or have time enough to do myself.

i’ve read several business-minded self-help books that tell you, to know your strengths AND your weaknesses. Focus on your strengths yourself, and hire out (to an expert) your weaknesses, thereby making your weakness into a strength also.

So WHY is giving up control… and not snatching it back…. hard for me?

Because when it isn’t done in my timetable or to my level of standards, i get the attitude of, “get out of my way and i’ll just do this myself already!”

And maybe in some parts of my life (and especially at work!) this works.

But not in my marriage. Or with God.

In our D/s lifestyle, this type of behavior is more commonly called, “Topping from the bottom.” Because the person on “top” should be the Dom setting the standard/pace and in charge. While the person on “bottom” should be the sub, who listens/follows directives and is NOT in charge. So if/when i try to do David’s part from my position, i am topping from the bottom.

It has taken a lot of concentration and focus on my part to NOT snatch back the control i gave up… or might never have even had … and to wait. On David AND God.

Be Patient.

Recognize my way isn’t the only way.

Heck, my way may not even be the best or right way!

And if i stay in my role and do what i’m supposed to do, greater things lie ahead than what even i have dreamt of.

[i’ve been told to pray and ask God to give me patience. i did that once. Never again. i wouldn’t say i learned patience, but rather i learned just how impatient i really am! oh my!]

i won’t tell you i have mastered the “stay on bottom” part, but i do try hard(er) now than ever before. In part because of this blog and a follower. She told me in a comment that was what i was doing, and my first reaction was, “no i’m not. You just don’t know me/David.” i didn’t type that though in my response to her comment, instead i only thought it in my head. Yet, it weighed heavy on me until i changed my thought to be, “ok, maybe you are right.” And eventually i deleted the word, “maybe” from that sentence and let it simply be, “ok, you are right.”

Once i got to that place of acceptance, i have worked to be more submissive……… and patient, waiting on directive, staying in my lane, doing my part.

And when i succeed, i get rewards …… but when i fail, i get a raw bottom.

i will keep fighting against my impatience, work harder, and relish the benefits when they come…. and accept the punishments when they come too …… because as we all know, at that point it’s deserved.

But that is definitely my weakest point and most difficult part as a submissive.

Hugs,

Marie

Day 15: My Submissiveness

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on Day 15: My Submissiveness

DAY 15: “I WOULD LIKE TO…”Write about a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

There are several things i’d like to try actually…..in no particular order…..

1) All-inclusive-clothing-optional vacation. i’ve read about resorts (Hedonism in Jamaica) or a cruise (Bliss Cruise) where clothing is substantial unnecessary. i think this would be an amazing vaca! And since “people-watching” is always a favorite pastime, i think i’d VERY much enjoy that trip! [Anyone here want to join me??]

2) center-of-attention at a house party, maybe even blindfolded and tied up too. i’ve read what is probably nothing more than fictional erotica where the submissive/slave is the “party favor” for all the guests to enjoy… i’d love to be that favor. Talk about getting to a “Bliss”ful place in a hurry!

3) For a day… not permanently….. i’d like to be a submissive to my husband AND a mistress. It would be a serious turn on to be made to watch, edge, be denied while they play together for a bit, then they take me in anyway they want. But together i am made to serve their needs and mine are last, of at all. [This is a huge question for me if it would be better in my fictional thoughts than in a non-fictional reality!]

4) i’d like to be naked in my house all the time, including to answer the door for a delivery. 😉

That’s all i can think of at the moment, but if i gave it more time, i could probably think up more….

What would you add to this list?

Hugs,

Marie