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Tag: my submissiveness

189 – Saturday Road Trip

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Sometimes being submissive isn’t about bending over, being spanked, or saying Yes Sir.

Sometimes it’s about getting in the car and seeing the countryside …. with my Sir…. with a happy heart and an adventurous mindset.

Just the two of us left the house this morning at 8:30 am and we won’t be home until probably around 10:00 pm.

Our mission is to eat great Texas BBQ, be out of the house, spend time together and see the countryside…. with Texas BlueBonnets in bloom.

The Bluebonnet is the Texas State Flower. The flower gets its name because the petals resemble the bonnet that women used to wear to shield their face from the sun.

The flower became the State flower the year i was born here too. And as a result of Lady Bird Johnson’s highway beautification initiative, bluebonnets were planted across the state along our highways, making springtime in Texas a beautiful sight to see!

My entire job today is to be kind, considerate, and relax for the ride. Sometimes i say things cheeky, unkind, or get a bad attitude and that’s the kind of ways that are deemed NOT submissive or appropriate… especially today on our road trip together.

So all i have to do is have a good time with a good attitude … and if i don’t (have a good time), pretend to do so!! And don’t forget to do so with a positive attitude too!

Sir has already indicated i may be on the side of the road with my pants down getting a spanking with a few of the comments i have already made. And he said “change the attitude.”

i don’t really think he’d actually do that (spank me on the side of the road), because he’s not really about being on display or show like that. Nor are either of us wanting to be arrested for indecent exposure OR someone thinking i am being beaten. But it wouldn’t stop him from doing spanking me when we get home.

What’s my point? Sometimes people think submission is about being naked or sexual or being a sex slave or… … well….. just sex. And sometimes, frankly most of the time, submission is nothing more than a daily process and the way of living where i need to sit back, relax, and think/talk positively and respectfully.

As the road rolls on today, submission is easy. i think. i hope.

Hugs,

Marie

163 – It’s a dildo day

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In my last post i mentioned wearing a dildo to work.

i will tell you all about what happened….. and in the end, ask you again, “Am i a sex slave and submissive wife? Or just slave? Or just a submissive!” Where the line from sub ends and slave begins is my unanswered question at the moment.

But maybe it’s not really important what title i (or you) put on it. It just might be more important that i was following a directive from my Sir. And i was submitting…….

He said, “Bring me the inflatable dildo.”

Yes Sir. And i did.

He said, “Spread your legs.”

And i did.

And he pushed it up inside me. (i wear no panties, per his instruction from long ago. In fact, he took them away and i haven’t seen them since. i can’t wear them if i wanted to.)

He said, “Set an alarm for 60-minutes. Every hour, you will pump the bulb twice. And then report that to me in person or text.”

“Don’t miss or forget to do it, every hour. Both the pumping and the reporting.”

And he grabbed the pump bulb and squeezed it 5-times to give a start.

And off to work i went. The entire dildo fits right up inside me, but after it is squeezed many times and it inflates it becomes difficult to keep it inside. When i mentioned that to Sir, he said, “squeeze your legs tight to keep it inside.”

And that’s basically what i did. i had to or else it would have fallen out … into my pants and would’ve slid down my leg until it came out. NOT happening to me while at work!

Every hour. All day. The alarm went off, i gave two good pumps, and texted, “Another hour. 2-more pumps.”

By the day’s end, i had received 25-total pumps. The dildo was quite large. It felt fine while inside. But when i had to take it out for a restroom break, pushing it back inside was a major effort for sure! It i wasn’t going to disappoint my Sir, and i followed his instructions to the T.

And mid-way through the morning, in addition to the dildo, i received a text. It said, “Time to edge.”

i stared at it for a minute and texted back, “at work? Now?”

And he texted back, “Yes. That’s what i said.”

Thankfully i have my own office and have a birds eye view of anyone approaching, so i pushed my hand down in my pants and found my clit. i rubbed it until i almost exploded. i was at “the edge” of orgasm. And i wanted it. i wanted that orgasm.

It took everything in me to stop. But i did.

Why did i stop? Because i am a submissive (or a slave?) and i was told to edge. i was not told to orgasm. Orgasms from my body do not belong to me. i agreed long ago to never orgasm without permission. And i haven’t been given permission on this day to do anything other than go to the edge of orgasm.

i texted and said, “i have done it. But i really want to cum.”

He texted back, “Good girl. No. Do it again. Now.”

Holy crap. i did it again. It took about ONE minute and i nearly went over the edge. In fact, for a split second i actually thought i had gone over the edge (and orgasmed).

i felt panic rise in me. You see, because i am submissive, i want to please him. And had i gone over the edge, i would’ve felt badly. You’d think i would enjoy an orgasm and relish in the moment. But no, i would have no pleasure in an orgasm that is not allowed. And i wouldn’t want to see Sir’s face when i had to tell him i orgasmed without permission.

i was relieved when i knew that i had … quite literally…. gone to THE EDGE but had NOT gone over.

i told Sir all these things and he was quite pleased with me.

He said, “You will receive your reward when you are home. Now two more pumps and don’t forget to continue.”

By the end of the day, my puss was sore and stretched. But i was happy!

Upon getting home, Sir said to lay on the bed and wait for him. When he came in, he played a bit with the dildo pushing it further in and back out again. When he pulled it out fully, he commented on just how inflated it was and was impressed.

Then he put all five fingers inside me and pushed all the way to his knuckles. And pushed in and out. Then while in, he moved his fingers rapidly.

i begged him to allow me to cum. When he said no, i responded with, “Please Sir… either stop or allow me to cum… otherwise i will go over the edge without permission and i do not want to.”

He smiled and said, “Orgasm all you want.” And his fingers moved easily inside me and he felt me squeeze and release all over them! He kept going and i felt the ripple of more orgasms flow from me freely.

When he pulled out, i was exhausted.

We were both disappointed that he couldn’t get his hand all the way inside me, but we have determined his hand is simply too large. He said he will find a female suitable to do it for us, and when he does, he will take pictures. i will be ready!

i followed orders and was rewarded with multiple orgasms at my Sir’s hand… quite literally. i pleased him and he pleased me!

That all happened yesterday. Today, my puss is sore and thankfully allowed to rest. Will wait to see what tomorrow holds.

So what do you think…. submissive? Slave? Some combination of both? Or does it even matter….. i do as i am told, and i am rewarded. And when i don’t, i am punished. i happily accept both!

Hugs,

Marie

161 – Clothing optional

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As i said before, i am having a hard time being naked now that it is winter. For two reasons:

1) it’s cold. Are you shivering as you walk around the house!? Or do you sit under many blankets on the couch… making it where you may well not officially have clothing on, but you are still covered up? (Making the naked part a moot point?!)

i am too cold… and practical…. so i want my clothes on.

2) i guess i don’t “enjoy” being naked. What i do enjoy is him noticing, seeing, touching freely, and being happy. Some might call that being an Exhibitionist, including ME. Exploring labels for myself was a short-lived series of posts, but maybe i should revisit that list to see if longer posts are in order… including Exhibitionism because i DO like being on display!

But if those things – Sir noticing, touching, commenting about my nakedness – don’t happen, well….. what’s the point? ……… And then i tell you to see #1 above. Circular referencing… leads to putting clothes on in Winter especially.

But…. you all gave me some ideas in that last post about clothing and i felt inspired. i decided to try something. i don’t have to be wearing full on Winter Wooly (not-sexy) PJ’s just to stay warm.

The first thing i have done is many (many!) searches for “crotchless PJ bottoms” and “PJ bottoms with snaps in the crotch” and “easy access PJ’s”.

i haven’t really found anything that would give David access and me warmth/comfort. What i have found is a lot of lingerie, onesies for smalls to wear diapers underneath, or just regular ole’ PJ’s. Come to think of it, this might be a great product/ business idea…. creating sexy PJ’s that allow for easy access, but warm – when privates are not in use – too! If you have some, or find some on the internet, comment with a link! i want to buy them! or maybe i need to sew some!

Failing that search….. last night i asked to take a bath and David said yes.

FYI: It is a rule that i have to ask to do things i find pleasurable. And i must always ask to get in the tub because i am naked, alone, tits and puss right there to see, fondle, arouse… and well… you get it. This could also be a topic for another post so i will stop here on this and get back to it.

After David granted permission for me to soak in the tub, i decided to make it extra warm. Not scolding, but warm enough that upon exiting i would feel my blood pumping and essentially be “overheated.” To make it where i needed to cool off, rather than add on winter-thick PJ’s.

So this is what i did. And when i got out, i decided to sleep nude. i thought this was a win-win. Not cold, AND able to be on display for his viewing pleasure.

As i walked to my side of the bed, on the wall side, i passed David, on the bathroom side. He had just gotten in bed to read himself and he noticed me walking naked. (As i said … win-win!)

He said, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

i said, “No, not unless you’d like me to be covered up Sir.”

He said, “Won’t you be cold?” (Even he knows how cold i get).

i told him what i had done, and he smiled. That’s when he reached over and played with my (still pierced) nipple. He likes pulling them outward, and especially now when the nipple is semi-erect all the time anyway. Yet another longer post idea, so will also stop here on this too.

As he played with my nipples more, i began to feel aroused and he could see it on my face. He said, “What will happen if you wake up in the middle of the night horny? Will you play with yourself??”

i said, “No Sir. i will have to ignore it and go back to sleep…… OR ….. (insert devious smile on my face)….. i could go down on you and suck you hard, then climb on top of you, and fuck you til i cum. And THEN go back to sleep.”

He smiled and said, “if you can do accomplish all that, then go for it!”

Well, i slept well and never woke til morning. Upon waking today, he said, “i didn’t sleep through my blow job, did I?”

When i responded with, “No Sir,” he asked why i didn’t do it. Of course i told him how i didn’t wake up. Which was all said while putting on a PJ top, to which he asked why.

To that question, i said “because it is cooler in the living room than the bedroom, and besides, i am not covered up by a pile of blankets.”

He responded with only a “hmmmm”.

i think maybe he DOES enjoy seeing my naked body and being able to fondle me at will. Maybe i need to sleep naked more often again too. And when i DO wake up in the middle of the night, even with him sound asleep, fuck him hard… for my own pleasure… it would be for my pleasure until he wakes up and joins with pleasure of his own. 😉

So i get #2 above satisfied with prancing through the bedroom on display for David to notice, and #1 satisfied when we snuggle in to sleep… under the 9-blankets already on the bed!! Making this circular reference go in the best possible order!

Have a great Monday…. Christmas is almost here!

Hugs,

Marie

154 – Winter is hard

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Winter is Hard….. to feel sexy…. for SO many reasons.

1) Darkness. Whoever invented Day Light Savings (DST) Time was a genius. (DST is the time we have during the summer… when we “fall back” we go back to “Standard time” (ST)). But the person who thought switching it back to ST was idiotic.

It gets too dark too quick. i get nothing done after work. i feel like all i do is work. It gets light about the time to go to work, and dark shortly after getting home.

i read an interesting article from the Farmer’s Almanac dispelling the myth that Farmers started it all! They actually are the biggest opponents to it and argue against it as much as possible! They say the sun dictates their day, not the hour on the clock. The sun tells the crops when to grow and the animals when to wake and eat.

So of course when all i do is “work,” i feel tired and ready for bed. Which means… i am NOT ready for ANY sexual activity.

i would vote in favor of DST year round! Just saying!

2) Holidays galore. i LOVE Halloween and Thanksgiving, but especially Christmas. It is the only holiday that we all decorate our houses inside and out, we greet one another with something other than “hello” and “goodbye” (typically Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays), and everyone gets a gift . And let’s not forget the parties or special events (concerts, theater productions, etc) that are themed and timed all around these particular dates.

Now don’t get onto me about the words “all” and “everyone”, because i recognize not all decorate or that not everyone gets a gift. But… more do than don’t. So meaning, there is no other holiday where even half the people on any given street would decorate the outside of their house, and especially no other holiday with lights too. And no other holiday where we all get gifts, unlike your birthday where it’s just you, or mother’s/Father’s Day where it is just that sex. So it becomes a festive and (literally) bright holiday.

But…. all these festivities require more things be added to the to-do list too. And that means more “work” has to be done to prepare for all this fun and festivity. So we already have fewer daylight hours and now we have more to do in them!

3) allergies and head colds set in. i have been battling this for a week now. My head hurts all the time from a too-stopped-up or a won’t-stop-running nose. That is wearing me down for sure.

But… it gets dark early, soooooo…. off to bed for me! [ALWAYS ways to find the positive!]

4) But the biggest and most primary reason of all that Winter is Hard to be sexy…..We have SO many clothes on!

i’ve experimented with No Clothes on in the house. It was hard to do in the summer for my own modesty (self consciousness) and our teen son in the house. But NOW… because i would be shivering all day everyday. In fact, i have on more clothes now than i did then.

SO WHAT TO DO?

So how to change these negative trends? How do you combat the “winter blah” and still look, feel, and act sexy… to keep the marriage sparks flaming?!

Good question. Glad you asked. Oh wait.. i asked YOU! i want to know…. what do YOU do to stay sexy in the winter-blah months?

i’ve been absent from here lately (and i know you know and i am grateful to those that have asked me about it …. knowing someone cares is sexy all by itself)…… but….. i think it’s time to come back. To embrace the un-sexy part of winter.

You tell me today what you do… and i will tell you tomorrow what i do! Deal? Ok then… give me a comment below then!

Hugs,

Marie

127 – Orgasm control

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(i thought this picture was hot and the words completely described my situation…. except of course have to reverse the pronouns to substitute “him” for “her.” So i used it. 🥰)

As i was laying in bed relaxing and reading before sleep last night, David came in too. But instead of just laying down beside me, he pulled back my covers and spread my legs.

Part of being truly submissive to David is whenever and wherever he wants to have sex, or any kind of sexual activity at all, i do NOT deny him. It’s not an official rule, per se but it doesn’t need to be. It is SO very understood that we don’t even need to have it as a rule. Once he said that if i ever deny him, “it better be for a damn good reason!” Most of the time, it’s all good though and veryyyyyy seldom do i even want to deny him. So no real complaints from me, mostly because it benefits me too!

Definitely not this week. This week there’s a lot of teasing and no “benefits.” David said he wants to, “get me super excited” (and ready) for our date on Friday. As if i’m not already.

So this week will be only about edging … which is getting me super close to orgasm and stop. And repeat. And never quite getting to go over the “edge” to actually be allowed to orgasm….. until Friday.

Sir then moved down between my legs, and he looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “you better not cum!”

And he pressed his face to my pussy and assaulted my clit with his tongue in such a delightful way. His tongue felt simply amazing on my clit. i started to moan in ecstasy and he pulled back and said, “you better tell me before you go over the edge!”

i must always ask to orgasm. There is never a time i don’t have to ask, including during intercourse. If i don’t, there is punishment. And sometimes that punishment is immediate with something like a slap to my pussy or the sex coming to an immediate halt or an immediate spanking. Most of the time the punishment is that the next time i ask to orgasm, the answer is, “No, you already did it the last time without permission. So you don’t get to now.” And i am denied the pleasure. If and when i do ask though, about 90% of the time, i am told yes. So it is ultimately more about respecting the rule (this is a rule), his authority, and being submissive to wait for the answer.

But this week…. there’s no point in asking. i know the answer is no. And if i didn’t know before, he made it plainly obvious when he stopped licking my needy cunt to say, “you better not cum…. if you know what’s good for you!”

That’s when he immediately put his wet and warm tongue back on my inviting pussy, playing with my clit even more. It didn’t take much and i had to (quite literally) tap him out and barely eeked out the words, “please stop Sir.”

And he did. i knew he would, but i was hoping that 1% chance would reconsider allowing me to orgasm. But it was NOT!

That’s when he asked, “how was that?”

i responded with, “Amazing. Until i had to ask you to stop.”

In truth it was bitter sweet…. awesome AND terrible… because i HAD to ask him to stop when i absolutely did NOT want to!

Not only did i not want him to stop, but i had to ask aloud for him to stop too. He knew this was an action on my part. It was a decision to acknowledge his authority, follow the rules through my submission, and an active decision to obey. Ultimately this was about more than just orgasm control! It was our D/s dynamic at work.

He said, “you didn’t want to stop.”

i said “no Sir, i did not.”

And he said, “it’s great practice for Friday! You’ll be very ready to cum then.”

He continued, “it was a great accomplishment that you stopped. You should be proud!”

Again, this was about more than just orgasm control. It was truly about submission. While he was acknowledging the actual act of stopping him and denying my own orgasm, he’s also saying he’s proud of me for submitting. And we both knew it.

i kinda mumbled a “uh huh” sound and he laughed. He said, “this is good character building. Besides B&J will get the benefits now too.”

i also think all this edging might be a bit about (preemptively eliminating) nerves too. In the past, when we meet someone, while i want to be there and do this swinging thing, i get nervous and jittery. i tend to get all shy and reserved, which Sir does not understand at all which leads to (almost) having a panic attack on my part. If i am so sexed up that i can hardly wait to take my clothes off before we even get there… well…. no nervousness and all courage! Great topic to expand on in the next post. Stay tuned for more…..

Hugs,

Marie