Skip to main content

Tag: marriage

110 – Complete Work of Fiction. #4

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction. No Comments on 110 – Complete Work of Fiction. #4

So i seriously teased you with thoughts of “the end” in the last post, so i won’t officially declare that just yet for this post being “the end” since maybe that was a tad mean of me last time. (sorry… not sorry!).

i did truly think it would be the end when i started Complete Work of Fiction #3, but by the end of that post, i knew i needed at least one more…. so… here’s the “at least one more” version…..

And like last time, if you hated already read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first… i suggest you should.

NAKED AND TIED TO THE KITCHEN TABLE, with 10 fully dressed people all surrounding me was humiliating, exciting, scary, but most of all… such a freaking turn on!

i knew that David had a great surprise in mind for me on my 50th birthday, that happened to land on Thanksgiving Day, but THIS was beyond my imagination for sure!

He offered all his guests a drink. i say “his” guests because i was essentially the entertainment really…. and while i am quite literally THE CENTER of attention, it was effectively his party. Or should i say, his “interview”!?!

After everyone had a drink in hand and had met one another, and greeted me, they gathered around the dining room table. (Even though i say that everyone “met” one another, they referred to themselves only be a number. The number that coincided with the order that they arrived at our house was how they referred to one another… #2, #3, 4 and so on. Of course they didn’t say Sir or Ma’am, that word was just reserved for me to use. But i found it intriguing that no one knew anyone else’s name and they never would either!)

David started speaking to the group by thanking them all for coming to our home, enjoying the day of Thanksgiving together, and in celebration of my birthday. He reminded them that while they were here to ultimately ‘interview’ to be a Second Dom/Domme for me, that he expected everyone to play nice together too. And if the urge struck to play with one another, as well as me, they could partake of those activities also. But everyone was to ultimately remember the focus of the day was giving thanks …. for me …. for having turned 50 so serendipitously on Thanksgiving that has provided an opportunity to gather today.

He continued, “If it seems that anyone should not be playing nice, or at the time that I decide you are simply not going to be our Second for any reason, I will politely ask you to leave. And the last person to remain at our home today will be deemed our Second. Trust me though, even if today’s party ends up being your only time to play with us, our hope and plan is that everyone will still have plenty of opportunity to leave here feeling quite full… in every way imaginable!”

And he continued, “As I mentioned when I first met each of you, I intend for the last person here, the one crowned our Second, to stay the rest of the weekend with us as well. It will be throughout the weekend that we would work out the complete details of how Marie will submit to us both and what expectations we will set for her….while putting her through her paces and getting to play with her all weekend long too! So for the Second, our celebration will most definitely NOT be ending today.”

Wow. So at the end of today, i will have a Sir and a Second. And an ENTIRE weekend to serve them both. What a grand start to this new relationship… and my 50’s! Just hearing Sir talk about all this SO wet between the legs already! i wonder if our guests can see or know this yet!

i’m pretty sure that was moment i reached sub-space already! And barely heard what he said next….

“So Marie is here to serve and be served today. As you can see, she’s presently on the table as our centerpiece. She’s been restrained so as to not be able to move until we allow it. The first thing we will do is have a meal together and we will just see where the day goes from here. Just remember she hasn’t eaten lunch yet either. So while you are busy filling her holes, be sure to fill her mouth occasionally with food and drink too. That’s the extent of where we will serve her, but everything else will be about her serving us! Otherwise, she is fully at our mercy and willing to serve us in any way we please. Isn’t that right my submissive slut wife?”

And i responded with, “Yes Sir.”

He looked around and said, “See! What’d I tell ya?” Since no one wanted to interrupt David, Sir #9 was the first to move when he raised his glass and said, “I can certainly drink to that!” And everyone laughed, agreed, and took a drink. And i thought about how bold and confident he was to be the first to speak.

Ma’am #10 said, “I may have been the last to arrive, but I have no intention of being the first to leave!” And she leaned in to me and said, “open your mouth Marie,” so i did as told. She proceeded to pour some of her drink into my mouth so i could also drink. But to make it fun, she had held the glass quite high above my head so the drink splattered a bit over my face and chest while some did get into my mouth also.

While smiling, she said in a very sly voice, “oh dear, look at the mess I’ve made! I guess I’ll have to be cleaning that up soon… with my tongue!” As she winked at me, a smile came over my face. She asked me, “Do you like that?” And of course i did, so i said, “Yes Ma’am. But i’ll like the clean up even more!” i could tell Ma’am #10 was here to impress. Serving her was going to be a challenge for sure! Challenge accepted! (Wink, wink)

That’s when David asked me, “Are you ready to be used today? And to submit? And to find our Second?”

i smiled and said, “Yes, of course Sir. More than ever! Thank you Sir!”

David looked at the guests and said, “See everyone! She’s already excited! Let’s make this a super fun-filled day for all!”

And they all clinked their glasses once more and took a deep swallow as i waited for what came next.

It certainly didn’t take long as one of the lady guests, Ma’am #7, said to David, “Can I kiss her now?”

David smiled and responded, “Most definitely! Let the party begin!”

She took a big swig from her glass before leaning in to kiss me. i opened my mouth to accept her kiss when she let the alcohol drip into my mouth and i swallowed it. It tasted so sweet and was immediately also followed by her tongue in a passionate kiss! When she pulled away i said, “Thank You Ma’am!” And she smiled a wicked smile at me, to which i knew could spell excitement or danger or both as the day progressed from here.

The Ma’am’s first move was the cue that others were waiting for too, so while she was still kissing me, i felt someone touch my clit with their fingers and had started to rub on it. And another had grabbed one of my pierced nipples and was twisting it taut. And yet another had put their lips to my other nipple and was sucking hard on it. i also felt ice touch my belly button while my leg was stroked and someone else started rubbing one of my feet while i felt a tongue touch the toes of my other foot.

There wasn’t a single part of me that seemed untouched at this moment.

i think everyone was starting to enjoy the “dessert” before the main meal. Or maybe i was the main meal and the turkey and dressing were just the side dishes! i didn’t rightly know, but i also didn’t care! i was already feeling used in the most beautiful and completely possible way and it felt amazing!

So it didn’t take long before i practically yelled out, “Sir, may i come?” David said, “Yes you may my love… as much as you want!”

That’s when Sir #3 unzipped his pants and climbed up on the table to stick his thick cock in my mouth. He said, “I am so fucking turned on by all of this. I’m going to give you some of my cum to fill your belly and maybe some turkey after that if you really are the good girl your Sir has said you are!” And he jammed his cock down my throat until i started to gag. His cock would definitely be something i’d always look forward to if he became our Second!

Perhaps it was this Sir’s mention of eating turkey that reminded them of the food on the table, but i heard a Ma’am’s voice ask someone to pass the corn, which lead to more talking and alighted too. Thats when i started to ear a steady stream of dishes clinking, glasses being filled, and silverware being used as everyone started to pass food to enjoy the meal …. while also enjoying ME too, all at once!

And from that moment on, at least one (and more!) of my holes seemed to always be filled, causing me to moan and beg for release. Absolutely no one had trouble eating, drinking, and having fun with me all simultaneously as clothes were shed and fun was had. Since David allowed me to cum freely, it happened so much, i lost count. My belly became full with food and drink, but also the natural juices that these Sirs & Ma’am’s rewarded me with as they released their orgasms down my throat too. And this was just the start of the day too!

Even if the only things they each got was a day of great food, thrilling fuckery, a lot of sex, and getting to Dom/Domme me for the day, i knew absolutely everyone would go away saying how absolutely A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and memorable this Thanksgiving had been for all. (And i’d also be rewarded with the lasting present of a Second to serve tomorrow and the next day and the next day too!)

That’s when i felt David’s presence by my head. He placed a a hand to gently stroke my left cheek as he brought his head down and whispered in my ear, “Happy 50th birthday my sweet, loving, submissive wife! The first 50 was nothing compared to the next 50 that I intend to provide to you… starting now!”

THE END

Or maybe not “the end”……. Maybe the next Complete Work of Fiction will take you into me serving my Sir AND my Second…. what happened over the weekend? who knows! Is my Second a male or female? Who knows that either?!

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁

(Anyone want to submit an application now for a chance to spend Thanksgiving 2021 at our house? 🙋‍♀️🙋🙋‍♀️🙋)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hugs,

Marie

107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

One year (and one day) ago, i wrote post #39 about Domestic Discipline – in life. And i think it’s interesting that i was thinking about life, marriage, DD, etc this morning…. one year (and a day) later. So it got me to reflecting back and comparing the past or the present.

So after rereading that blog and i see how things have changed…. AND stayed the same. There’s a lot of both!

Just to make it easy to know what i’m referring to, and without flipping back and forth, here’s a screenshot of how it started……

Starting at the top, if i were to write those same paragraphs now, with TODAY’s opinions (but same gist)….. this is how the post would NOW go……..

i know i almost always talk about our lifestyle with reference to sex…..and spanking….. while that can and sometimes is a big part of it, it really isn’t JUST that. It’s more than that. In fact, it’s a daily activity. It’s something that never stops.

Ultimately i’d say that our Domestic Discipline (DD) life is more about showing respect and kindness than anything else. Especially from me to David, but it definitely goes in reverse too. And while this is something that everyone should do, but people frequently just don’t. (In fact, i think the world could use more of it … but that’s a whole other post altogether!)

Before DD, David would frequently tell me that i don’t “respect” him. i always thought i did, and in fact, i still think that. But now i know what i didn’t do then, but do now, is SHOW it to him. i speak with gentler and kinder words now than i ever did before. Instead of saying things like, “Will you take out the trash?” i now say something more like, “i would love it if you’d take the trash to the garage when you could, please Sir.” That’s not tremendously different, but it IS different. i make a point to let him know how much i would LOVE his help. But i don’t assume i’ll get it. Whereas before, i assumed he would do it so my words were more of a commandment than a question.

And i also ask with a “please.” Because ultimately it is his decision to do (or not) do it and please is the word to ASK for help, rather than just assume it is there. Where before DD, i just expected him to do it and while i’d word it in the form of a question, it was more of an expectation and a command rather than a true question. Now, it is truly a question, and while i am hopeful (and it is probable) that he will help, i know he might not. And if he doesn’t, i have to be ok with his decision too.

Now it’s really in the second paragraph (referring to the screenshot above from a year ago) that i see the biggest differences from then to now. And paragraphs 2 &3 are essentially the same, just more detail really. So here is today’s version…….

i used to say i would be much stricter than Sir. i know that we are really in sync now though… most days anyway. He’s grown in the last year as the leader of our house, and has ultimately gotten stricter. But i have also grown in my submission to him and more accepting of his leadership too. So we have effectively met in the middle! We both know the expectations… and consequences…. quite clearly. And he’s not afraid or shy or otherwise reserved to implement the consequences either.

(i think it’s maybe a tad hard to read all italics all the time, so i’m going to flip back to standard font, but otherwise, simply continuing on…..).

Some (even “many”) DD relationships have written rules. While we have rules, they aren’t written. We don’t have an official contract or signed agreement. While i can certainly see the benefit of this, when we first started this, neither of us knew what we wanted. i’d even say that at the time, this lifestyle was likely more of an experiment than a lifestyle. And while we may have had intentions of it being a lifestyle, it may have been like other things (diet and exercise for example), that you start strong and it fades away. So putting rules or an agreement in place wasn’t really possible, when all we had was a pen and a blank piece of paper in front of us. So you might say we had to experiment a bit first to find the right fit.

And perhaps it was the lack of a contract that has caused us to have a bit of a rocky start too…..where i thought he should be more strict and he didn’t think i even knew what i was asking for. But with or without a contract, in any good marriage of any lifestyle preference, communication is key.

We don’t always get it right…. no one does though. But we do strive to have effective communication always. Sometimes i struggle to find the right way to speak in a submissive tone, especially when i am stressed, angry, or adamant about a topic. This too is a learning process for both of us and likely always will be.

The biggest area of communication that causes the most strife for us typically starts with David speaking to me where he uses words that sound like i have a choice. The problem lies when i can’t tell if it is a true choice or not. Instead of telling me to do something, he might phrase it where it is optional.

For example, if we were to be having dinner out at a restaurant, David might say something like, “I think you need to get ready to go.” Now that’s not too confusing. While worded like a thought or his opinion, it’s really him informing me to go do it. This is especially true if i knew we were having dinner out. But say i was intending to wear what i had on at that moment out, what does that mean now? i thought i WAS ready, but now he is clearly indicating he doesn’t think so.

So now i have worked to communicate, in a respectful tone, my confusion. i’d probably say something like, “Please Sir could you use more direct words? i am not understanding your intentions.”

And he might would then say, “You are dressed too casual for the restaurant we are going to. You should wear pants (or a dress) rather than the shorts you have on.”

Now it’s clear to me. And i will get up and go change. Right then. I’d do it right then because that too shows respect. i find his directive something of importance to be followed RIGHT THEN and he appreciates that. So in this case, actions speak louder than words in expressing my respect towards him.

So back to the contract part…. we didn’t draft one at the start because we didn’t even know what it might would contain. And now, it kinda seems unnecessary. i know the rules. Again, they aren’t written, but like anything in life … you figure out what you can/can’t do or what you should/shouldn’t do. So my rules are ultimately still very clearly me.

i am to: be respectful, use kind words, never assume he will do something just because i ask, make my body available to him when he wants, do not touch myself in a sexual way without his permission, do not assume his body is available to me without asking permission, and orgasms have to be allowed (i have to ask first!) before i do so. And if these things are not done, expect consequences….. or said plainly: punishment…. in various forms, but primarily spanking.

And again, David isn’t afraid to enforce the rules. Nor is he remorseful about enforcing the rules. He will say something like, “You knew what to do. You didn’t do it. You know the consequences. So I’ll administer that now. And it will be over and done.”

Because ultimately, i’d tell you that while he enforces things, it’s the submissive who has control….. control to do as we have both agreed. Or to accept the consequences. i still have a lot of control, even though it may not seem like it at first.

So in reflecting from One Year (and a Day) ago to today…. i’m happy to say this IS a lifestyle, and also happy to say that i am NOT more strict than David. And instead, David is firmly in control. And always prepared to administer punishment if i don’t make wise decisions. And i love my discipline life!

The more things change….. the more they stay the same!

Hugs,

Marie

106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 7 Comments on 106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

More backstory…..About the Worst Spanking Everrrrr.

i heard your concern. And i truly love all of you for feeling comfortable enough to express yourself.

But i think maybe i need to share more with you about what led up to The Worst Spanking Everrrr too. Because context is everything and frankly, i just am not sure i have given you enough.

i always debate how much backstory to give, how much is enough or not enough. i always worry i will bore you (and me too!!) with all these unnecessary tedious details. So sometimes, and this may have been one of those times, some of the details are NOT unnecessary and NOT tedious …. so here goes…..

Did you happen to notice i didn’t give you a lot of info about our vacation? YES it went well. YES what i said was true. i just didn’t go into a lot of detail either……until now…..

Soooo while we stayed in someone else’s house and with our son there too, we knew the discipline would be nonexistent. And i also knew from prior experiences that while David TALKS a lot about keeping a list, tracking the transgressions, making amends upon return…. he almost never follows through.

And i knew it. So every time something happened on vacation that i didn’t like or agree with, i told him. Quite plainly. Quite intentionally. Quite literally….. to test him.

Ok, so that last bit….. testing him….. that was raw and it hurt to type it. i wish i hadn’t said some of the things i did while on vacation. And i was MUCH more bold at the start than at the end. But what’s done is done!

At the start of the week, i was bold and proud and stated what i wanted to in any way i wanted! And he would say, “watch it” and i said “ok”. And he’d say, “I mean it!” And i’d say, “Yes Sir.” But it didn’t deter me. Not really anyway.

This pattern of “edgy – not-so-submissive” attitude and behavior continued. i knew i was playing with fire, but like a fire…. i expected it would eventually flame out and by the time we were home, it would be nothing more than ash.

Since i haven’t given you even one example of what i’m talking about, let me give you one now….

And i was reminded of this particular one because of the word “fire”…….

The people’s home that we stayed in had an outdoor hot tub and fire pit next to one another. We went and got stuff to make s’mores. And i asked David to find out about how to start the fire pit (gas, logs, etc). But he didn’t. And the next day, i said, “we want to do this and you should see about asking today!” He (again) warned me to watch the tone. And i said, “ok.”

Later that day, he started the fire and told us. But our son and i were playing a board game at the time (that easily could have been paused!) and i just said, “ok, we will finish this first.”

And he said, “The fire will go out soon if you don’t get out here and do this.”

i responded, “well fine then!” (In a sarcastic tone). And we went outside.

Then after s’mores, he cleaned up all the remnants (wrappers, extra supplies), and put out the fire while we got in the hot tub. i don’t remember even thanking him, and being honest, i was wondering why he was taking the time to get water and douse the fire logs to put out the fire (100%). i thought it unnecessary since the fire pit was a brick/stand alone put and it seemed a waste of time. ………. (Never mind the fact that “IF” it was needed and NOT done, the whole house could’ve burned down! So the real risk was NOT putting out the entire fire, compared to taking a few trips to get cups of water to fully extinguish the flames.)

Just to put a bit of “good” in this post…. here’s a picture of the sunset view we had that night…. from the hot tub…… (isn’t it absolutely beautiful????)

Now i know that wasn’t such a “terrible” situation but it wasn’t anywhere near “great” either. i was sassy and showed no respect for David. Equally, i also didn’t even appreciate the fact that he not only asked (the homeowners) about the fire …. but he actually went and started it too! And then put it out. And then allowed me and our son to sit and relax in the hot tub too.

And after that attitude and behavior are repeated over and over …. all week long…… it adds up.

And again, i was more or less … testing him. But again, i didn’t figure the Fire would be even be a lit when we were home, so i gave no concern!

Like before, with my previous Post, i guess i haven’t still given you a bunch of examples or specifics. But like before too, i don’t know if all that is necessary or not. If you think it IS necessary to have those details, go ahead and ask!

Then when we were leaving the airport to head home in our vehicle, it seemed David was driving unnecessarily aggressive. i think he was just ready to be home. So i said, “we aren’t in a rush. You need to slow down. This is aggressive driving and not necessary.”

He just glared at me at me and said, “quite enough!”

So i didn’t exactly slip back to submissive ways upon arriving back home! And while what i observed about his driving was indeed true, i didn’t say it at all kind! And our son heard it too. So i didn’t set any sort of positive/good example either!

And just like that… We were home….. and no punishment happened.

It seemed i was right…. the fire had died and only the ash remained. As usual. Per always. No big deal.

There’s NO burn from just ash!

Except it was….. A big deal…..To Me! i didn’t think that’s how it should go. If he isn’t going to follow through, then why waste the breath to say the words? Why even start the fire?? And if you are, then just use that breath to blow it out right then and there!?!

Then you come to yesterday…….

i have told David in (a few) words here and there that i don’t want all the golf lessons. But not very directly or clearly.

i went out to the course with an attitude. i knew it when i got in the car! And it showed itself when i was warming up. And he warned me then.

If you remember, that was when he said he’d take me to the woods and spank me then and there. And i called his bluff. i knew he wouldn’t do it! And i told him so!

So when i blamed him on the course for me having a bad putt…. and he KNEW that i knew to watch the tone and attitude and he had ALREADY WARNED ME!

THAT was when he got angry. And THAT was when he took action. And THAT was when he told me to walk home.

Now ….. i feel like you need a bit of my backstory/thoughts on this too……

We have a LONG history of getting mad at one another and leaving/walking away. Instead of me just doing it (or him just doing it), this time he tested me. i had tested him for over a week and now he was testing me.

He wanted to see how stubborn i was going to be. OR would i submit. Would i actually listen!?!

Additionally, i asked him to help me get into shape and Exercise. And what he didn’t tell me was that he planned all along to quit playing golf longgggg before i was home and to pick me up. Because he wasn’t having any fun at that point either. But he didn’t tell me that…. because again, it was a test. For me. To see what level of difficulty or attitude he was really dealing with. But in the meantime, i would walk (a bit!) and get the exercise i would get anyway.

And when he picked me up, the part i didn’t tell you before…. because i truly never know what detail(s) are enough, too much, just right……

i didn’t jump in the car immediately. He drove beside me and stopped. And i kept walking. He moved up and stopped. And that’s when he said, “Are you getting in?”

And i gave the biggest smart ass answer of all. i said, “i dunno. You haven’t given me permission to get in!”

That’s when he got Reallyyyyy angry. He said, “get in the car now or you will be walking all the way home!”

But it took my own self-talk of, “don’t be stubborn. Just get in the damn car!” To actually get me in the car. So i did.

By the time we got home…. ALL of these things had piled up between us. And neither of us had to speak because we both were angry. We both knew that the way i have been acting is inappropriate.

The fire was NOT just ash… it was flaming high! And my bottom was about to touch it!

He has NO problem listening to me speak …. when i do it in the right way. But the way i’ve been doing it poorly for 10-days now. Even i know, it wasn’t respectful or kind….. and most definitely not submissive!

So maybe that helps you to understand WHY i never saw any of this as extreme. It was overdue actually. It was necessary actions by him that were brought on by me.

SOMETIMES SUBMISSION HURTS.

Sometimes it is not so glamorous. And the pain is real. But submissiveness, in our house, isn’t JUST erotic and sexy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes… it’s not. And it isn’t just INSIDE our house either. But that’s how i’ve acted about it. That’s how i’ve treated it lately especially.

So sometimes, my mind needs a reset by causing my ass to be sore.

And that’s when submission can truly hurt! My ass is still sore but my attitude is infinitely better!

Even so…. i am OK! In fact, i’m better than ok!

And when i played with the Fire…. i got burned. A real butt-burner indeed!

Hugs,

Marie

102 – consent! Consent! CONSENT!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 102 – consent! Consent! CONSENT!

i feel the need to clarify —

i fully C-O-N-S-E-N-T to being spanked!

i am truly amazed at those who believe i am an abused, brainwashed, and an enslaved wife.

I …….A-M ……..N-O-T!

i want to tell you a bit about what does NOT happen ….

– i have never cried. i think this is normal though for many people in a D/s or DD relationship. i don’t know why i haven’t cried. i’m unsure if it’s not intense/hard enough, or if i am not remorseful enough, or maybe i mentally separate myself. i dunno. But if David intended time abuse me, i feel sure i’d be in a LOT of tears quite often.

– We have only ever used a belt and a paddle. While i’d love to experiment and experience some other instruments (tawse, crop, whip, etc), we haven’t. i bought a Loopy John, (here’s a pic….)

and David thought it looked interesting so he swatted at my butt one time right after it came in the mail… with my clothes on. And when i yelped, he asked to see my rear end. It left a mark, he apologized/felt bad (!), and while temporary and was gone in a few hours, David says he will never use it again. If he wanted to abuse me, he would have kept on with it!

– David has only once has it left welts on my rear. To which, at the time it happened, i was pretty surprised as i didn’t think the paddle was used enough to create that result. And David was too!

One time, i didn’t want to continue with the spanking and i stood up and refused to let it continue. David through up his hands and while we got into a huge fight, he did NOT continue! If i were abused or enslaved, he could’ve easily tied me down or locked me in cuffs or the room and forced me to take the spanking – it maybe at that point it would be more appropriate to call it a Beating!

– He has NEVER broke anything – mentally or physically on me or our home. If he was an out-of-control Dominant, he could easily do these things (He’s a big guy!) He has no desire to use brute strength to force me to do anything!

– All of everything we do (DD; D/s) has been MY idea from the start! i had to talk him into it. While he sees it works now, it took me the better part of 2-years to convince him to lay a hand (or belt or paddle) on me. And he ONLY does it when he’s calm. NEVER from a place of anger or frustration, which he could easily do!

In the end – i want you to know this is CONSENSUAL in every-single-way! i may be submissive but i have a voice and i am quite capable of speaking my mind! And when i do it with respect and in a calm tone, he hears me loud and clear. And it always results in me getting what i want, need, or deserve.

So please know: i am NOT abused, enslaved, or otherwise brainwashed into this! If anything, David has been brainwashed to my way of thinking!! ☺️. Lol!

But in the end – this works for us! It resolves difficulties and differences quickly and super easily. It keeps respect, truth, and loyalty in our marriage too.

Oh – and – if you think i am crazy, well, i’ve already said…. i just might be!

i would hug you in person and tell you this with my voice if that were possible, but in the meantime – accept my virtual hugs – and trust that i am OK! Actually – scratch that – i am MORE than ok ….. i am happy, thriving, loving life and couldn’t be happier in and with my marriage!

Hugs,

Marie

100 – Stress: N-O-T my thing…

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 100 – Stress: N-O-T my thing…

This week has been so annoying and stressful. i started this post about 4-days ago, and now i an finishing it while on VACATION and relaxing.

It’s always interesting to me when i write something (and don’t post immediately) how when i come back to it, something things have changed…. namely…. my perspective.

When in the midst of a situation(s), frequently it can seem overwhelming and (almost) insurmountable. And even just a mere day later, it isn’t as big of a deal anymore. Oh, a lot of times the “thing” is still going on, but my reaction to it can often be completely different.

And over the years i have learned that when i am stressed and IN the moment…. i struggle to be submissive!

It’s not that i don’t want to be submissive, it’s that i want things to change, improve, drive toward conclusion. And in the middle of it, being submissive seems passive. It feels like i am not “doing” anything to change the result or the answer or the outcome to just …..(be submissive) …… and wait.

Let me just give you some real-life examples of what happened this week… in the moment and the next day…..

EXAMPLE 1:

Big Bang is still problematic! Over 60-days now past the accident, and we still don’t have the completely-totaled-car done and gone. While i was not deemed the “at fault” party in an accident where i was the middle of a 3-car pileup, we had to get our own insurance involved. If it weren’t for them, i still wouldn’t have a new vehicle!

Here’s the players that effected me this week:

A) insurance 1 (the girl at the front who police said WAS at fault),

B) insurance 2 (the guy at the back who slammed into me, causing me to slam into girl at front,

C) insurance 3 (our own insurance),

D) AND insurance 4 (our own GAP insurance). FYI: i has GAP on my vehicle and if you aren’t familiar with GAP – it “fills in the gap” between all the other insurances if/when more is owed than they pay).

So this week i got a call from our insurance (#3) saying insurance 2 is filing a “medical claim” against all other people involved, including us (He was walking and talking at the scene withOUT issue), which upon notice having been given to insurance 1, they are now referring this over to a lawyer on their part. AND because of the “open issues” now too, insurance 3 won’t pay off the loan of the vehicle, causing insurance 4 (GAP) to not be able to do their part, causing me to have excess debt on my credit now!

OKAY – In the moment and the day of …….i went home… told Sir alllllll about it.

And (unfortunately) NOT in a respectful tone, so when i was done, i heard the words, “Do we need to go change your attitude?”

Me: “NO! Spanking my ass won’t make all this better!”

Sir: “oh yes, yes it will!”

[INSERT spanking story and my ass turned red right here!]

The next day…… after i calmed down and had a sore rear end, i realized…. there’s nothing i can DO to make this better than talk to the insurance agents, let them sort it all out…. and wait. So by NOT being submissive, all i achieved was a sore ass! My goal of “doing” something amounted to getting naked, bending over, and accepting punishment.

EXAMPLE 2:

So i started to write a bunch of other examples…. Son’s school, A situation at work, ok so several things at work, and an event planned for our vacation…… but …….

The details don’t really matter.

As i typed away all the details about all my week’s wrongs plus all my efforts to “fix” things… i realized there’s ONE thing they ALL have in common:

i had NO (ultimate) ability to change the outcome!

Oh, yes certainly i do agree, i had some ability… the ability to set things in motion…. call the school and wait for them to take action, talk to employees and set them in action, and to call up the event coordinator and set them in motion too…….

But ultimately….. ALL i had control of was how i responded to the situation!

And none of my actions really drove anything to conclusion, fixed the problem, or changed much of anything.

What DID change was my attitude about it.

The DAY AFTER…. i realized that when i depart from being my submissive-self, ALL that happens is that i cause strife between me and David!

i have to remember this the next time i have a super hard and stressful weeks!

And now… we are onto V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!!

Hugs,

Marie