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142 – Toughest Part

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 142 – Toughest Part

*** had problems with the site and this post dropped off for some unknown reason. Reposting it now. If you read it when it was here before, it’s the same now.

i was recently asked, “What was the toughest part of transitioning to this lifestyle?”

It occurred to me maybe others wonder this too. SO…. i decided to post about this. And maybe some of my favorite people (with even more experience than me!) can comment also and give even more insight on their experiences too!

There have been a few things that have been hard actually. Here’s a couple that i can immediately think of: 1) learning to forgive myself. When David says penance has been served and it is truly “over” it really is! and 2) to not give up on this lifestyle when it doesn’t work right away, but to communicate and work out the details and try again.

But the single thing that has personally been “the” hardest for me, and i want to spend the rest of this post talking about is……

Learning to curb my tongue.

In the past, when i had something to say, i said it! Without any real regard to how it was said…. tone, wording, timing. None of it.

i felt i had the right to speak my mind to my husband…. anytime i wanted and specivically in any way i wanted. We were equals after all!

But looking back on it now, i realize i said things in ways that were quite frankly rude, disrespectful, or even demeaning.

i’d tell you that i spoke to coworkers or friends in ways that were better than how i spoke to David. i didn’t mean to and i never saw it that way then. But i certainly do now. Now my eye glass lenses have been adjusted to see with 20/20 vision! And i don’t especially like what i see now for how things were then.

i felt though that i could “speak my mind in honesty” with him, where i couldn’t with others. And while that is still true now (that i can speak my mind to him), i didn’t pay any attention to HOW i said it to him. Whereas now, i absolutely do!

Also i never had the right to speak down to him (or to coworkers about him) that used words that (effectively) raise me up above him. But i did. i’d say things like, “Are you sureeeeee that’s the best way to do that?” implying that MY way was better or more superior, but of course, making him guess what that was or even goading him into asking me “and what way is that?”

At the time, i didn’t ever see it tis way (demeaning, degrading) at all. Not really anyway. Oh i suppose there were times that i’d think, “I probably shouldn’t have said it like that.” But that was that and i’d subsequently think, “oh well” too.

With clearer eye sight, it’s easy to see things differently now. i now don’t see my behavior then as acceptable at all. Honestly, i was out of line. Even “IF” we were equal, and i had the right to speak my mind, the way it was done was not at all respectful or kind. i know that now. In fact, i am now rather embarrassed at how i acted then.

But through these new lenses, this negative way of speaking to or about your spouse seems to be what i see as the norm for a lot of people. So in some ways, i guess you could say i only did what others do. But that doesn’t make it right!

Here’s an example…. My coworkers say things like, “yeah, my husband was a dumb ass this weekend…” and proceed to tell us what so-called stupid thing their husband did. And of course, her words already set the stage to imply she wouldn’t’ have done it that way and her way was more superior. Raising herself up and ultimately putting him down too.

Or another coworkers said this week, “I have to leave early to take my daughter to the doctor. My husband screwed it up last time. So I’m going to do it myself today.” Obviously saying she could get it done “right” compared to him not being able to. And further, he’s not even capable (or worth her time) to try to educate him on what this “right” way is also!

But … it’s been a “process” to change. And one i have had to truly commit to and work at. i’ve had to be very intentional to hold my tongue, reword things in a positive/ better way, determine what really should be said (or not), and how to defer to him. Always.

And honestly, David has held me to it too. He raises his eyebrows or says, “you sure you wnat to continue speaking to me this way?” It tells me that he never really liked the way i treated or talked to him before, but he rather just tolerated it.

But now he has authority to do something about it too! Before if there was something he didn’t like, there wasn’t much that could be done. And now an “attitude adjustment” ensues if i were to continue on the negative talk path.

i’m glad i made the transition. i’m glad i show, act, and display more respect to my husband directly, but also to my coworkers and friends. i no longer engage in office banter about how “stupid” my husband was, but rather i speak the opposite. “We had an amazing weekend where i got to enjoy spending time with my husband. He makes me happy.”

And it’s true. i do believe it with my whole heart – he does make me happy! And yet, curbing my tongue was a process and definitely not an easy one!

And because of a second glitch, the next post… if you wanted to read the, in order of how i had originally posted it, please click here on my blue words. Otherwise, you will read them in order of how the site posted them and that’s ok too.

Hugs,
Marie

141 – what was i thinking?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 141 – what was i thinking?

A couple of posts back, i was struggling with creativity/ideas of what to write about and needed inspiration. You have come through in a big way! i have received some emails lately with some interesting questions that as i ponder the answers, i decided would make great blog content (for several posts coming up too!). So here goes…..

What was i thinking….and what went through my mind as i was asking for D/s?

The first thing to know is that, at THE moment i asked David for this lifestyle, there was very little going through my head except, “say it out loud – just do it!” Because i had already done my homework, had the security and assurance that this is indeed what i wanted, and i only needed the confidence to say it out loud.

But before i got to that part, there was a TON of stuff going through my head. The first things that went through my head was a series of unending questions that included:

1) What is wrong with me? 2) WHY do i want this? 3) Why would i have to be disciplined like a child of some sort?! 4) Who would want to give up control (like a child) of things that (as an adult) i am realistically entitled to? 5) And by “discipline,” does that translate to and simply amount to asking to be physically abused?

So W-H-Y was this even something to consider, let alone ask for?!

All these questions kept cycling though my mind and i was struggling! Yes, i truly considered the thought that i was already, or in the process of becoming, crazy!

And then my next set of questions that ran through my head was more related to David: 1) if i think i am crazy, won’t he also think the same? 2) How will he react? 3) Will he want to discipline me? 4) Will he like disciplining me?…… And if he does, does that mean he will ultimately feel empowered to perhaps abuse me?

So honestly, i had more questions than answers and wasn’t even sure how to process all this in my head at first. And the one person, David, who i wanted to talk to the most …… i felt like i couldn’t. And that made me sad.

As a result, it took a lot of time for me to even bring it up to him. Like probably close to a year! i wish now that i had found courage sooner and had just talked to him from the start. We could’ve worked through these things together. Instead, i found my own answers and sorted through it on my own, which was good AND bad!

It was good because by the time i was able to talk to him about it, i was completely committed and knew this is absolutely what we both needed. We just had to do it! It was bad though because at the time i said it out loud, he was right back where i had started…. with uncertainty, and lots of questions. i had to give him time to process it, work through it all, and give him the space he needed to figure it all out. i was disappointed to say the least! But this is a process.

Thankfully while he was in shock and surprised, he was still willing to consider it and to find out more. So it took us a total of about 1 1/2-2 years before we actually did anything. Which was sad for having wasted so much time before coming together on this, because we are more happy now with it than we probably ever were without it.

If you are thinking of trying to talk to your spouse about this from either the Dom or sub side, the best piece of advice i can give you: TALK! SOONER than later!

Open your mouth and speak from your heart and be genuine. Just start with something like, “I don’t have all the answers, in fact I probably have more questions than anything, but can we consider this together?”

And so on my own though, before i could ask for this…. i needed answers.

i started with the internet. This is such an easy and free resource, it made sense to start here.

When i found that it was Biblical to submit, i already felt a lot better. This was encouragement that i was (maybe!) not crazy. Then i started thinking about “submission” in a general sense. And finally realizing that this would force us to communicate more, that it would likely bring us together more, and i was wanting to be more dependent upon my husband. And all these things propelled me to move forward…. and to ask David about it.

Let me break down those thoughts for a second too…..

Online. i found some amazing blogs online. Many of them gave me a lot of encouragement but not one of them was exactly what i thought we needed. And that was ok, in fact it was good! It caused me to seek what was right for us, take a little of this and a little of that, to form what could work for us.

And of course, i found a lot about submission from a biblical sense. “Christian Domestic Discipline” has taken a beating on the internet. And most of the criticisms seem to stem from the idea that it is just abuse cloaked in Christianity. i don’t believe this at all. i think Domestic Discipline is a way to keep things in line with how we want them to be, and submission is Christian based.

Submission in general. Okay, so if this is Christian based, shouldn’t we all be submissive?? But if we are ALL submissive, then who’s left to be dominant? But the Bible doesn’t say ALL people are to be submissive, but instead just the wives. Whereas the husband should lead and love her unconditionally.

And then i started seeing submission everywhere.

When you go to work and your boss is mad at you, let’s say for something you didn’t even do. But he/she is SO mad they are going off on you. How do you react? Most of us would probably stand there and take it, at least mostly. Sometimes the annoyance or anger we feel might boil over and come out, but even when it does, we typically try to contain the anger and chose our words wisely. Isn’t that submission? You submitted to their authority! And you even did it with respect towards them.

Okay…. so if this D/s thing is online, working for others, biblical and submission is what i am to do, and i do it already in other parts of my life…… why wouldn’t i do it in my marriage also?

Now my thinking had come full circle! i was suddenly looking for reasons NOT to submit.

So IS DD just domestic spousal abuse? Clearly, i think it is not! Or i wouldn’t be doing it! And i suppose this could be apart of my next post – which came from the next question i’ve been asked……

Why would i want to be dependent on my husband and how does he take on this responsibility without effectively having to become my parent?

And i will leave it right there and that will be my next blog posting!

Hugs,

Marie

139 – Ass Access

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 139 – Ass Access

*** i wrote this on Sunday, now 5-days ago, and i wasn’t sure if i liked it or not. i’m still unsure if i like it, but i am having “writer’s block” and decided to post this anyway. Hopefully tomorrow i’ll have inspiration to write something else too.

**** so if you have some inspiration, things you want to inspire me about, things you want to know and could give me good stuff to write about … email or post a comment. i’ll gladly accept all your ideas l. 🙂

As a submissive, it is a bit confusing to me why some deny their ass to their dominant. i think you should submit FULLY.

i understand it is a hard limit and a BIG-ASS-NO! (Yes, pun intended!) for many people. But i don’t understand why.

Allowing my husband access to my body anytime and anywhere …. and any part of it…. seems to me as just part of the job title. Aside from health/medical reasons, i don’t see any reason why a submissive should deny their dominant that pleasure.

i simply don’t want to be sending a message that says, “you are in charge here and here… but NOT here.” i agreed to be his submissive in Full. All the time. So why would one particular hole be off limits?

i think many women are against it for a couple of reasons…..

1) Fear….of pain. Yes, it does take a bit of going slow in the beginning to get a big cock in that hole. The sphincter muscle is tight and doesn’t want to stretch. With lube and going slowly though, you can press past it, where it relaxes enough to allow his cock inside. And once it’s inside, then a few times moving slowly in and out, and the pain all evaporates and is replaced with pure pleasure!

2) Humility. The best position to have anal sex, in my opinion, is with her on all fours like a dog. And he enters her from behind, mounting her, like a dog. Hence “doggie style.” So getting on the bed, on your knees, opening your legs, and letting someone go there can be humiliating. But it can also be humbling, as well as humiliating. i happen think “humble” is what every submissive should be though anyway. And with having to bend over every week for spankings, this isn’t a new position for me, so i just don’t have this particular problem. And every good submissive should draw on their humility side to summon the courage to assume this position.

3) Filth. Ok, so the ass does have a lot of unclean messy poo that can be a turn off. And it does take an “adult mentality” to deal with this side of things. i have learned that giving myself an enema a few hours before we have anal sex, it cleans everything out pretty good overall. Yes, this is also a bit gross. And again, an adult mentality about it has to be assumed. Enemas aren’t painful, very effective, and not hard to administer. It takes about 2-3 minutes to put it in, and takes another 2-3 minutes to get it all out (it just comes out!). And of course, if you aren’t willing or able to plan an enema well, anal hole sex or play can get messy and possibly a lot of clean up required afterward too. Yes, i am absolutely talking about “gross stuff.” But my point is, this shouldn’t be THE reason to withhold your ass from your dominant as this is really very manageable too!

4) Inexperience. Causes nervousness. Causes us to say no. But don’t be afraid to try new things. Ever. You can miss out on some amazing things just for fear of saying “yes.” And plugs can be a great way to train for it. Plugs come in different sizes and shapes and styles and prices. Try wearing one for a bit (even 5-minutes!) to get used to the feeling of having your ass filled.

And speaking of plugs…. this entire post has been inspired by the fact i have one in my ass right now. Earlier today Sir said, “I want to fill your ass.”

Again, as a submissive, i allow David access to ALL my holes whenever he wants. So even though it was 2:00 pm on a Sunday and our son was upstairs, i said, “Yes Sir. Of course Sir.”

And i went to the bedroom and undressed.

i started to climb on the bed and get on all fours, like a dog and preparing myself (mentally) to have him between my legs. That’s when he said, “go get out the black plug and lube it up.”

So i did. And i handed it to him.

And that’s when i climbed on the bed on all fours. He didn’t have to tell me to do this as it was understood.

i put my head down and my ass up. Sir said, “hold your cheeks open.” This causes me to basically lay on my shoulders and face in the bed. So yes, this is humiliating. But i chose to say “humble” instead. i know that i am making Sir happy by submitting and bending to his will.

That’s when i felt the tip of the plug at my anal hole opening. Sir started to push it in. Because it has been awhile since we’ve done anything anal, i knew this was going to hurt to push past the sphincter muscle. But i’ve been here before so i know what to expect. The best way to allow the plug entry is to push down from the inside, to use the muscles that you’d use to have a bowel movement, causes the muscle to open up. So i did that.

David went reasonably slow, by pushing in a bit and pulling it out, and repeating the process with it going in just a bit further each time.

The last push was absolutely one that took my breath away and i cringed. But it was in! It was fully seated in my ass.

He stood me up, kissed me, and said, “don’t forget… what I put in, only I take out! And I will let you know when it is to come out.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

It was then that i asked him, “is it the act of putting it in or knowing my ass is filled that makes you feel good?”

He responded, “Both!”

i also asked him, “and how does this exactly make you feel?”

He said, “Powerful.” And he leaned in and kissed me again.

i won’t deny… when the plug comes out, i’m hoping something “else” goes in! (Wink wink!) Time will tell.

It makes me happy to be submissive… fully… my ass included. And i wonder if i am alone or if you also allow your dominant access to ALL your holes also?!?

Hugs,

Marie

138 – Complete work of fiction – #9

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Submission. No Comments on 138 – Complete work of fiction – #9

Please consider reading the previous complete work of fiction (or all of them really… starting here) if you haven’t already. Because i just hate repeating all of the beginning and just want to dive right into our fictitious story that hasn’t happened anywhere in reality, and exists solely in my mind!

It was a habit. Sir asked me a question and i responded with the trained response, “Yes Sir.” But the very second the words were out of my mouth, i realized what i’d done.

And then i smiled. Maybe it was kinda-sorta-on-purpose. Maybe i wanted to test Sir. i didn’t consciously or intentionally think through this from the start really. It just happened. But after i did it, i can’t say i was upset about it either. i had to wonder what would he do, especially with this new dynamic of us with this couple in front of us right here and now.

My words didn’t go unnoticed by any of them though. Madam started jumping up and down like a school girl, clapping her hands, and saying, “oh goodie! She already fucked up. I can’t wait to discipline her!!”

And she looked to SS and said, “you’ll let me, won’t you??” i saw her bottom lip come out as she begged her Sir to be allowed to have her way with me.

With his eyes locked on my Sir’s, not looking at her at all, he said aloud, “I’m not sure what David has in mind, but I have no doubt Marie will be regretting her actions. It isn’t my place to allow my wife to discipline his without his ultimate decision on this.”

And David looked at both of them and said, “well if this dynamic is going to work as intended, and as Marie has so obviously screwed up already by uttering words aloud…”

His eyes turned to look me dead in the eye while clearly still speaking to them, he continued by saying, “I think we will ALL have an opportunity to make Marie regret her actions tonight.”

Damn. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. All of it. Everything about this. Seriously, having THREE dominants allowed to discipline me? i was suddenly second guessing all of this. It sounded intriguing at the start, but i never anticipated having all of this at once either. And sometimes the idea of something can be way better than the actuality of it too!

i suddenly felt very unsure, insecure, and quite little. Not in a “little” submissive way, but in a small and insignificant way. Doubt had found its way to my mind.

i hung my head low. Tears were welling up in me. i wasn’t even sure if i could lay my head on Sir’s chest and ask to be enveloped in his arms for a reassuring hug, so i put my head in my hands and stood there feeling sadness overwhelm me and starting to sob.

That’s when Madam got giddy and said, “oh look, our little subby is crying. That’s so wonderful. It will now be easier to make her regret her actions as she’s halfway there already.”

i’m not sure i like her at all. In fact, i am sure i don’t.

But i quickly felt somewhat vindicated in this thought when Sir said to her, “while Marie did in fact disobey, we won’t be building a good relationship together if this is how you want to start it. Marie is a good girl to submit at all and now she’s going to be submitting to all of us. While we need to guide and train her altogether now to be the good submissive slut wife and girlfriend that we ultimately want her to be, we won’t be making her feel afraid of us in the process.”

SS looked at her and said, “Honey, your actions are less than productive here. I told you to remember who you submit to too. David is to be your Sir, as well as Marie’s. So while we are allowing you to grow in your dominant side that you switch to, I suggest you take a cue out of Marie’s book and settle yourself down because you too will now need to receive discipline!”

Oh, maybe i could indeed get used to this after all. At least i now know that Sir and SS are indeed ultimately the ones in control. So while Madam seems to have a wicked dominant side to her, that i will probably always both hate and love, it will be held in check by our men dominants too.

As i heard all this, i quieted my sobs and had emerged from my hands. i was feeling a bit better, but still very unsure of myself. David must’ve known though as he turned to me, and said, “Remember Marie, I asked you to trust me and you said you would. This new dynamic will be a good thing, but every good relationship has its bumps in the road. Do you trust me still?”

With my head looking downward, i nodded. David put his hand to my chin and tilted my face up to his so that he was once again looking directly into my eyes. He kissed me on the lips and said, “that’s my good girl.”

He pulled away and continued, “but we do have this matter of discipline to deal with now too.”

He grabbed my hand and started to forcefully walk, pulling me behind him. He looked at Madam and SS and said, “Follow me.”

This entire exchange had happened while we were just outside leaving the restaurant while standing on the sidewalk in public. i wasn’t certain where we were going or what would come next. But i did know the direction we were walking was NOT towards our cars!

David reached the end of the building and turned down the side of it into the alley way between the restaurant and another building just beside it. There was maybe 10-feet or so separating the two, just enough to walk between them but not enough space to drive there either. It was relatively dark in the alleyway and while anyone walking by could see us if they happened to look between the buildings, it was still semi secluded too.

David stopped and pushed my hand that he was holding up against the brick wall side of the building. He said, “Put both of your hands firmly on the wall at your chest level.”

Oh crap! He was going to spank me right here in public! In front of Madam and SS too. Since i knew that the thing that landed me here in the first place was speaking words aloud, i wasn’t about to object either.

In so many ways, this show of bravado, domination was such a fucking hot turn on! i was proud of David for the dominant Sir i have always wanted him and needed him to be, even if i was about to find my ass turned red right here and now! While i was suddenly filled with a bit of excitement, it was mixed with a bit of fear too. Fear of how this punishment was about to play out, whether we’d be seen by someone walking by, and how badly my butt was going to be burning in just a few minutes too. And what was everyone thinking right about now too!

But i didn’t have much time to think about all that because he said, “with your hands still on the wall, take one step backward so that you will be semi-bent over at the waist and your ass will be made available to us.”

i immediately did as told.

No sooner had i gotten into position, had he flipped my skirt up onto my back.

Second Sir said, “ohhhh how wonderful. Marie you got to cum at dinner by my fingers, but it seems that may be the last for you for awhile. I love the way David thinks and finding you here in this delectable position is so empowering for us. You are being such a good submissive right now.”

With these words of praise, i felt my pussy release some juices. Thankfully, none of my now-Dominants knew. How could i have felt so insecure 5-minutes ago, and now am so turned on? This deluge of emotions was so much to take in. But i was growing more confident that while this was a humiliating position to find myself in so soon, and my ass was about to be on fire, i was in the right place at the right time with the right people.

i heard David say, “who wants to go first?”

And Madam said in a more humble tone, “Please Sir, May I?”

To which David responded, “why certainly. Just remember though, she’s here to receive punishment for her poor behavior.”

He wasn’t hardly done speaking and i felt her presence close in on me. That’s when i felt a hard smack to my ass. Her hand slapped my right cheek so hard i cringed and my knees buckled. She must’ve anticipated my movement though because as i did so, i wasn’t able to move far because it was then that i felt her hand between my legs. She grabbed hard and pinched at my pussy and used that leverage to pull me back into position on the wall. Damn that was erotic but equally painful too!

She said, “stand upright Marie. You don’t get to move on the first slap. And I felt how wet you are. Don’t even think about orgasming. That’s not what this is about at all.”

And she proceeded to slap at my ass over and over again as i tried fervently to stand upright. Every time i fell off balance though, her hand was on my pussy and she used it to pull me back into place. Her fingers pinching my pussy as she wasn’t intending to use it as anything but leverage to pull me back into place, it served to cause both my ass and my pussy to feel simultaneous pain.

But i would be lying if i didn’t also admit to pleasure i felt too. i know she’s going to be hard on me whenever she’s given the chance to dominant me, but i just might like it too. The way she grabbed at my pussy made me hope her fingers would slide inward, but they never did. She made sure i knew this was a tease on her part. And a reminder to be a good sub in order to feel her touch in a seductive soft way that may come in the future instead of this harsh punishment way. i know i want to please her now too.

After just a couple of intense minutes of some hard smacks to my ass and feeling the pinch of my pussy, she moved aside and said, “Sirs, I do know my place and I’ve had my fun with Marie. So I know it is your turn to see to her now.”

Second Sir spoke up and said, “Honey, you did great getting Marie’s ass warmed up, and for also stepping aside. I’m proud of you but just know this doesn’t get you out of your punishment either.”

That’s when i heard SS say, “David, may I use my belt on our shared submissive?”

David said, “I’ve rarely used a belt on her, so she’s not used to that feel, but yes, feel free to train her in the way you wish.”

And i heard the sound of SS’s belt coming free from his pants. i braced myself for the pain i was about to feel. But nothing can truly prepare you for that first sting either.

i yelped as it landed. i wasn’t sure if this counted as speaking or not, since it was just guttural sounds that expressed the pain i felt. Thankfully no one commented to that effect. It surprised me when i heard the sound escape from my lips though too. i was sure to realize i needed to quiet myself to avoid anyone on the street from cracking notice also.

SS came up beside my head and leaned in to whisper near my ear, “I think that hurt. Good. It was supposed to. I’m going to give you 10 more.” So now i know ……he can and will give me pleasure under the table at dinner, but pain when necessary too.

And he returned to my backside. In my head i counted out each one. All were equally painful. Tears were starting to come down too. But i was determined to take all the strokes he promised to deliver with grace as the submissive i was. i was holding back the sobs when he was done. My ass was completely on fire and i hoped David wouldn’t take a turn or if he did it would be swift and manageable.

i heard David speak aloud, “THAT was amazing! I loved watching that. Truly a work of art in motion.”

i held my position against the wall. Wondering how much longer i’d be made to feel this pain and humiliation, while still praying there would be no one walk by and see us also. As well i heard my mind repeating the phrase, “please don’t take a turn, please don’t take a turn.”

SS said, “thank you David. Your compliments are kind. It’s now your turn, but if you don’t mind….. I’d normally have made our sub thank me for each swat I laid that belt on her ass, but seeings as she couldn’t speak, I’d like to take my thanks in another way.”

David asked, “what did you have in mind?”

He said, “I’d like it very much if on the way home she would suck my cock for the duration.”

David said, “yes, that’s a wonderful plan. And I do believe you both took an Uber here so we could ride home together, correct?”

SS said, “we did.”

That’s when David reached over and pulled my skirt back down, and pulled me into an upright position and looking all nice again. He looked at me and said, “I think you’ve taken enough punishment for now. Besides, we have better things to do tonight still too. You’ll sit in the backseat with your Second, while Honey sits in the front with me. I expect to hear your sloppy mouth keeping his cock hard all the way home. But you are not allowed to cum at all. And if you do cum, or if you don’t keep SS happy, I will take my turn at punishing you when we are home too. Do you understand?”

This time i was smart enough to simply nod with no actual audible words!

David said, “Good. Let’s head to the car now.”

That’s when SS grabbed one of my hands and said, “David’s right. No orgasms for you now. And you best not get me off either. I want to enjoy the ride home feeling your warm, tantalizing tongue on my cock, but I have more plans for when we are home. So don’t go ruining things by getting me off in the car. Your job is to thank me for the discipline, but not suck me dry. Otherwise David’s promise of more discipline will be assuredly in your immediate future! A precarious balance you must maintain.”

Yes, a precarious balance indeed.

To be continued……

Hugs,

Marie

133 – How VERY normal i am

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 133 – How VERY normal i am

i know the things i blog about are very much NOT the norm for most people. But that’s what makes it very crazy and very fun to read… and well…. to live and write about to.

But i quite literally tell you about the only very crazy part of my life. i don’t tell you the very boring parts. Why? Because they are quite simply ….very boring.

i live in a very suburban neighborhood, a very average suburban house, and work at a very normal day job.

i wear (mostly) very conservative clothing to work because i do live and work in Texas, a very (overall) conservative views state. And while people say my career is very boring, i like my job very much. i would be very sad if my job were to end.

In fact, aside from our marriage dynamic, i am a very boring, very average, very normal everyday person.

i am SO very average, that i have said for many years i must be a chameleon. i look like every other common person on the planet!

While it hasn’t happened lately, frequently over the years when i meet new people, they say things like, “I’ve met you before.” And they proceed to rack their brain for any commonality that could lead them to the ephiphany moment of where we met before. This happens while i sit thinking, “i don’t know you and …. oh no…. here we go again….. how do i politely tell them that no, we do NOT know each other??”

Once was i was in a grocery store, a complete stranger was so very sure she knew me and said hello. Then she realized i was not the person she thought i was, but was still so very sure she had met me somewhere. When i politely said i really don’t think we have met, she was insistent and became determined to figure it out. She asked me, “do you go xyz church?” (No) …. “Did you go to xyz High school? (No)

i kindly excused myself and went to the next aisle. When she turned the corner too (we were coming from opposite ends toward each other), she then asked if i had a child in xyz sporting event. (No).

And this continued in the next aisle too! Was i related to so-and-so? (No). That’s when i got smart and skipped two aisles and managed to avoid her after that!

i say all this because i think people think i am some very strange person to WANT all this DD in my life. i also wonder if you are in a similar D/s relationship and may sometimes think, “my Dom isn’t as good/ strict/good as hers” or even, “I’m not as good a sub as she is.”

Well, i think you’d be surprised to know, and i dare say, if you saw me on the street, i would be your very average girl/mom walking by. i am so very ordinary in fact, that you may not even take notice otherwise!

All that really means is that i keep my very crazy shenanigans on the very down low.

However, that’s not really very hard to do since all my very crazy activities revolves solely in my marriage too. It doesn’t spill into my very ordinary life at all.

Additionally, while i am talking about how very average i am, i want to say – so are you. And that’s a good thing! That means – we are very much alike.

So don’t compare what you read about my Sir/Dom to yours or compare your submissiveness (or your relationship altogether) to mine. Why? Because first, we are all different. But second, it’s really very hard to keep this D/s dynamic going on a 24/7 basis. And third, remember you are reading about the “newsworthy” stuff. That means we all very much have very normal lives. i just chose to tell you about the very crazy moments in my life. But the rest of it….. well…. it’s very boring!

So don’t read stuff on the Internet or in a book and think, “they have it altogether, all figured out, and ‘perfect’. I sure wish my life was that way.” Because no one’s life is that way. You are simply reading about the stuff they chose to tell you….. which in most cases is, “newsworthy.”

i love how very average and very normal and very chameleon-like i (and you!) am. And i hope you like you too!

[Did you notice all the times i wrote “very”? i recently had a conversation where a friend told me she hates that word and wishes it could be struck from the English language. It also reminded me of an English teacher in HS who said the same thing also. Here are some synonyms for very: extremely, precise, actual, immensely, tremendously, exceedingly, powerfully, extra. And i could go on. But i won’t. i’ll just tell you….. i really had a very, VERY, V-E-R-Y good time writing that word in today’s VERY boring, normal post about life! It made it VERY exciting and newsworthy!]

Hugs!

Marie