139 – Ass Access

*** i wrote this on Sunday, now 5-days ago, and i wasn’t sure if i liked it or not. i’m still unsure if i like it, but i am having “writer’s block” and decided to post this anyway. Hopefully tomorrow i’ll have inspiration to write something else too.

**** so if you have some inspiration, things you want to inspire me about, things you want to know and could give me good stuff to write about … email or post a comment. i’ll gladly accept all your ideas l. 🙂

As a submissive, it is a bit confusing to me why some deny their ass to their dominant. i think you should submit FULLY.

i understand it is a hard limit and a BIG-ASS-NO! (Yes, pun intended!) for many people. But i don’t understand why.

Allowing my husband access to my body anytime and anywhere …. and any part of it…. seems to me as just part of the job title. Aside from health/medical reasons, i don’t see any reason why a submissive should deny their dominant that pleasure.

i simply don’t want to be sending a message that says, “you are in charge here and here… but NOT here.” i agreed to be his submissive in Full. All the time. So why would one particular hole be off limits?

i think many women are against it for a couple of reasons…..

1) Fear….of pain. Yes, it does take a bit of going slow in the beginning to get a big cock in that hole. The sphincter muscle is tight and doesn’t want to stretch. With lube and going slowly though, you can press past it, where it relaxes enough to allow his cock inside. And once it’s inside, then a few times moving slowly in and out, and the pain all evaporates and is replaced with pure pleasure!

2) Humility. The best position to have anal sex, in my opinion, is with her on all fours like a dog. And he enters her from behind, mounting her, like a dog. Hence “doggie style.” So getting on the bed, on your knees, opening your legs, and letting someone go there can be humiliating. But it can also be humbling, as well as humiliating. i happen think “humble” is what every submissive should be though anyway. And with having to bend over every week for spankings, this isn’t a new position for me, so i just don’t have this particular problem. And every good submissive should draw on their humility side to summon the courage to assume this position.

3) Filth. Ok, so the ass does have a lot of unclean messy poo that can be a turn off. And it does take an “adult mentality” to deal with this side of things. i have learned that giving myself an enema a few hours before we have anal sex, it cleans everything out pretty good overall. Yes, this is also a bit gross. And again, an adult mentality about it has to be assumed. Enemas aren’t painful, very effective, and not hard to administer. It takes about 2-3 minutes to put it in, and takes another 2-3 minutes to get it all out (it just comes out!). And of course, if you aren’t willing or able to plan an enema well, anal hole sex or play can get messy and possibly a lot of clean up required afterward too. Yes, i am absolutely talking about “gross stuff.” But my point is, this shouldn’t be THE reason to withhold your ass from your dominant as this is really very manageable too!

4) Inexperience. Causes nervousness. Causes us to say no. But don’t be afraid to try new things. Ever. You can miss out on some amazing things just for fear of saying “yes.” And plugs can be a great way to train for it. Plugs come in different sizes and shapes and styles and prices. Try wearing one for a bit (even 5-minutes!) to get used to the feeling of having your ass filled.

And speaking of plugs…. this entire post has been inspired by the fact i have one in my ass right now. Earlier today Sir said, “I want to fill your ass.”

Again, as a submissive, i allow David access to ALL my holes whenever he wants. So even though it was 2:00 pm on a Sunday and our son was upstairs, i said, “Yes Sir. Of course Sir.”

And i went to the bedroom and undressed.

i started to climb on the bed and get on all fours, like a dog and preparing myself (mentally) to have him between my legs. That’s when he said, “go get out the black plug and lube it up.”

So i did. And i handed it to him.

And that’s when i climbed on the bed on all fours. He didn’t have to tell me to do this as it was understood.

i put my head down and my ass up. Sir said, “hold your cheeks open.” This causes me to basically lay on my shoulders and face in the bed. So yes, this is humiliating. But i chose to say “humble” instead. i know that i am making Sir happy by submitting and bending to his will.

That’s when i felt the tip of the plug at my anal hole opening. Sir started to push it in. Because it has been awhile since we’ve done anything anal, i knew this was going to hurt to push past the sphincter muscle. But i’ve been here before so i know what to expect. The best way to allow the plug entry is to push down from the inside, to use the muscles that you’d use to have a bowel movement, causes the muscle to open up. So i did that.

David went reasonably slow, by pushing in a bit and pulling it out, and repeating the process with it going in just a bit further each time.

The last push was absolutely one that took my breath away and i cringed. But it was in! It was fully seated in my ass.

He stood me up, kissed me, and said, “don’t forget… what I put in, only I take out! And I will let you know when it is to come out.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

It was then that i asked him, “is it the act of putting it in or knowing my ass is filled that makes you feel good?”

He responded, “Both!”

i also asked him, “and how does this exactly make you feel?”

He said, “Powerful.” And he leaned in and kissed me again.

i won’t deny… when the plug comes out, i’m hoping something “else” goes in! (Wink wink!) Time will tell.

It makes me happy to be submissive… fully… my ass included. And i wonder if i am alone or if you also allow your dominant access to ALL your holes also?!?




  1. (WordPress seems to hate me today- sorry if you end up with multiple posting of the same comment. Perhaps this is my sign from the universe to give up- but I wrote all these words…LMAO)

    Hey Marie,

    Once again I’m going to try to word this very carefully so as not to offend anyone ;). First off I better answer your question, so anyone reading my response will not have any preconceived notions ( thinking, perhaps that I am being defensive). Do B and I partake in anal ? Yes – but we didn’t always ( his choice for the most part). It has been probably 6 years or so, a good two plus years into our dynamic. It evolved with our dynamic.

    “i think you should submit FULLY.” I think that we all start out in different places and certainly end up in different places. To me submission is yielding to another. I have a difficult time with the word “allowing’ when we are discussing submission. The term *to me* lends to thoughts of being in control itself. It shouldn’t because setting boundaries, whatever they are is also a key part in any relationship, D/s included. Be that as it may, I do not identify as a slave, as I’m sure many submissives do not- and even slaves have hard limits.

    My belief is, if a submissive is not comfortable ( for whatever reason, or for no real known reason) to submit to anal-so be it. There is no one way to do this thing. To me not submitting to anal does not make someone any less submissive than a submissive who does not get physically punished. I for one said to B years ago, ” Please don’t ever slap me across the face. I don’t think I could handle it, and this dynamic would come to an end”. I set out my boundaries. That does not make me less submissive because I don’t want him to do that. His dominance runs deeper than staying away from things that make me feel uncomfortable. That is not to say he hasn’t pushed areas I thought were my limits. There are some out there argue that if you enjoy something it really isn’t submission at all. It has to ‘cost something’.

    People grow at different rates- not saying eventually having ‘anal’ is a benchmark of growth. But for some people allowing themselves to feel submissive to another is challenging enough without having to give every single aspect of their physical being to another. Some hold back parts of their physical body, others are not comfortable exposing all of their inner most thoughts and emotions ( I often fall into the latter category)

    . I think as a submissive in a community it isn’t up to us to get it as far as others are concerned, it can put a divisive line between us. It is all subjective, ever changing and completely different for every individual. That is the beauty of D/s


    • Willie,
      Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I don’t associate myself with being a slave either, so your comments are welcomed and very appreciated even from that perspective. I suppose it could be a whole post in and of itself…. slave vs submissive and how they are alike and different. And I guess at the very essence of it, submissives probably have more limits than slaves. (Maybe? I dunno. I’d have to explore that thought more before definitively stating that.)

      So I didn’t mean to insinuate that a submissive should be a slave and/or have no hard limits. So perhaps the wording of “submit FULLY” wasn’t good either, because it does seem to imply that’s what I was trying to say ….(that a submissive should be a slave.). So I do ultimately agree with you.

      I was attempting to dive into the reasons why people may have anal as a hard limit, and explore how that barrier might be one to consider breaking down. Or at least to say try it once before you say no to it too.

      Thank you again for your insight! Marie

      • Thanks for your kind response.

        There are lost of things I don’t need to try to know I don’t wish to be a part of…being deficated on, being in a poly relationship, being exposed in public. I’m good with that. I’m also good with people who are with that.

        Maybe the ideas if what we/others do/don’t do should just fall under,” Your kink isn’t my kink and that’s okay” ?

  2. James has never broached the topic of anal sex with me, but if he did it would be a hard no from me. Idk if that makes me less submissive, but that type of sexual activity is in no way appealing to me and I don’t feel like my being submissive means I need to give up 100% of agency over my body. No judgement towards those who do enjoy that type of activity though 😉 but I think women should only agree to anal if it is something they truly want, not something they must be ordered into doing.

    • Do you allow it or do you like it? For some, it may not lend to the idea of becoming better. It may not be a tool for that aim. I don’t see why not. It’s not a big deal to me and I can take it or leave it.

      • MP – thanks for the comments and the questions too. I would say I allow it, which makes him happy, which leads to me liking it. It turns me on, but I can’t say for certain if it is the idea of pleasing him or the actually act that causes the most pleasure for me too. I suppose I would add… if a Dom doesn’t want the sub to allow it, then there really isn’t any point at all so allowing or liking, both would be irrelevant. Thoughts? Marie

  3. I have never inserted Angus into anyone’s anal cavity. I had a couple of women interested in it, but when they saw how thick Angus was, they changed their minds. And that’s ok. My Queen says that is an exit only hole on her body. But she has pegged me on occasion. She likes it, but doesn’t like the mess. So I have to do an enema and I don’t think I’m very good at doing them. Still when she wants me too, I do. I did orgasm once from anal penetration. It was a little weird as Angus wasn’t really erect. It the sensations were just like a regular orgasm and I did ejaculate semen. No stimulation to Angus at all.

  4. Thank you- Marie for this how to do anal sex- much needed. You have very good suggestions- I agree with those suggestion–(used them in the past)

    I agree with your words, “The best position to have anal sex, in my opinion, is with her on all fours like a dog. And he enters her from behind, mounting her, like a dog. Hence “doggie style.” So getting on the bed, on your knees,” On the bed at the edge of the bed– with feet off the bed– bottom near the edge– He can stand and put it in either hole– and have some very strong thrust. Doggie is best bad after hard spanking where your bottom is red hot– he can feel your heat on every deep thrust.

    I am so glad you addressed the “gross stuff.” you said, -” so the ass does have a lot of unclean messy poo that can be a turn off. And it does take an “adult mentality” to deal with this side of things. i have learned that giving myself an enema a few hours before we have anal sex,
    We used enema less than 5 percent of the time- he did seem to mind have some my poo on his penis afterwards, I have found like my man, many spanker are very anal–We did all types of anal play.
    After some punishment spanking he gave me a big enema – for a triple punishment. Then after a clean up he often used rectum. Question Marie– did you use a “fleets enema” or a bag enema (2 quarts).

    We had a small collection of butt plugs. (more on that later)

    You asked, “And i wonder if i am alone or if you also allow your dominant access to ALL your holes also?!?” No your not alone-All holes used.

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