Skip to main content

99 – YES i am still here and all is fine; mostly anyway.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 99 – YES i am still here and all is fine; mostly anyway.

i feel SO loved! Many of you have worried about me as i haven’t been here for 2-days now and you’ve taken the time to ask me via email. i am in awe that you love me so!!

i am ok. But i have had a rough week in many ways, but nothing permanent or lasting.

i seem to measure everything pre-COVID and post-COVID. And the last time i went anywhere was PRE!

i think i have suffered (this week) from what i’d maybe call “COVID burnout”. i have had quite a few situations this week that wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for COVID.

And i have yelled at quite a few people in my frustrations….. N-O-T my most submissive moments. Thankfully very little has been directed towards David, but i have had him ask me, “Do we need to go have an attitude adjustment??”

Me: “No Sir.” Okay, maybe we should. Maybe it would help.

But instead, i’ve just managed to “get through it” and i wouldn’t necessarily say i’ve gotten through it “well” either. Of course, tomorrow is Friday… aka Maintenance Day. So attitude adjustment is a-coming-up-soon!

Again, nothing major at all really bad has happened. Everything that happened that caused me stress has been small. And taken individually, not a big deal but when they pile up all at once, it became overwhelming.

And when i stressed and was overwhelmed, i ended up working late. Then coming home cranky, then packing for our trip, and all that has just lead to being so tired i just fell into bed and didn’t post anything. In fact, i write this at 11:00 pm, which is an hour i am typically asleep! But i couldn’t sleep and i felt bad that i had some of you worried about me, so figured i would take a minute and reassure you that i am alive and well… mostly anyway. Lol.

Tomorrow we get on a plane to go to CO for our vaca. i won’t lie, i am stressed about the trip in these COVID times. We are a family who travel a lot, but haven’t now been on a plane since Christmas and that seems like an enternity ago!

i am not at all worried about the trip, just the plane ride. We are staying with friends who have an insanely large house in the mountains. So contracting Covid while there will be very slim possibility. While we are there we are going to white water rafting and ride horses. i am really looking forward to it too!

Ok, i am off to try to sleep.

But i really am happy and honored at the outreach for my answer, thank you for caring enough to notice and to ask!

Hugs,

Marie

98 – O-B-E-Y an action and more!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 98 – O-B-E-Y an action and more!

The word “obey” has been everywhere for me lately. It has popped up in ways i wouldn’t typically expect. It’s been everywhere… that’s how the word O-B-E-Y has surrounded me.

It started on Sunday at church. Our pastor’s sermon was posed around the question, “what does it mean to O-B-E-Y God?” And the entire sermon was all about obeying God. i heard the word obey about 30’ish times, about once per minute. Enough to cause it to stick in my head as a word of the day.

Ironically though, the word O-B-E-Y apparently wants to be more than just the word of the day! Because it has crossed my path several more times in as many days.

After church we went to lunch at a burger place nearby. The kind of place where you go to the register to order, and with self-serve drinks, pay, and wait for food to be delivered to your table. After our son ordered, he went off to get his drink. Then Sir ordered for me (he rarely does this, but i love it when he does!) and finished with his own order too. And while we were waiting for the credit card to process, he noticed the cashier had a grey shirt on with the single word O-B-E-Y on it.

As we both stood there waiting for the card to finish processing, he said to her, “Is that word OBEY meant for you or others?”

She turned red and said, “uhm.. it’s just a tshirt brand.”

He just shrugged and said, “ahh, I see. Well, that’s a shame.” Then he turned to me and said, “We need to get you one of these, don’t we?”

i looked at him and said, “Yes Sir.”

And then i looked at her and she caught my eye but immediately turned to hand David his card. i think she was unsure what to make of the entire exchange really. He smiled and said, “have a great day!” And we went off to get our drinks, not even waiting for her response. i now have an O-B-E-Y shirt on order…. and mine will have more meaning than “just a tshirt”.

Well apparently the word stuck in Sir’s head the way it did mine then because now i’ve heard him use it a couple of times also. Specifically with him asking me if i want to O-B-E-Y him, which was the point he was making when he told me i’d be sleeping in chastity for the first time the next day on Monday night. And of course, i do want to O-B-E-Y, so i did sleep in chastity without questioning it. (Which by the way was SUPER easy! i was skeptical, but it was no big deal. Thankfully.)

And now this morning on the way to work, on the radio station, the morning crew typically keep it light and upbeat. But today, they started talking a little more intently about different things and one said how “you should O-B-E-Y what God lays on your heart.” The announcers continued this conversation between songs for my entire commute, so i heard this message to OBEY all the way to work.

i decided to google the official definition of O-B-E-Y.

It says:

verb (used with object)

to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of; to submit or conform in action to (some guiding principle, impulse, one’s conscience, etc.).

i am first struck by the type of word it is….. verb…. an action. It isn’t something done to me or for me. No, it is something i chose to do and work to do. Active participation required. Additionally it is a continued effort….by me. It isn’t one and done. Oh, i suppose it could be done just once, but it isn’t too effective unless it is continually implemented. It does take effort to O-B-E-Y.

i chose to O-B-E-Y God and my husband. Everyday. Even when it doesn’t suit me. And sometimes it doesn’t!

And when i fail to O-B-E-Y, punishment ensues which is most often in the form of Domestic Discipline …. or said more plainly….. spanking. i happen to think i’m a pretty strong-willed person overall, which is why sometimes even i surprise myself at how much i want to O-B-E-Y (in theory), but don’t put it to use (in practice)…. resulting in a very red ass!

Why does punishment have to happen if something doesn’t suit me? Aren’t i allowed to disagree? Well, certainly yes, i am. But it is most often the way i reacted or responded that caused the punishment. i am still expected to handle myself appropriately and to still O-B-E-Y … or in other words…. i am still expected to follow instructions, restrictions, or the wishes of Sir even when it doesn’t suit me. And when i disagree (appropriately), Sir considers my opinions and sometimes changes the instructions, but not always.

My life is pretty easy when i just do what the pastor says, the tshirt says, or the radio announcers say… JUST O-B-EY!

And let it become my action of the day, but more than that too…. action of week, month, and years to come! And the new tshirt will be a tangible reminder every time i wear it too!

Hugs,

Marie

97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

So David doesn’t read too many of my blog posts, but on occasion, he does indeed do just that.

And he read the last one about Reverse Psychology during the daytime hours when we were both at work. Afterward, he then texted me and said, “So the whole reason you want to be in chastity is because you will succumb to temptation and you consider yourself weak?”

i responded with, “Yes Sir. Plus it would then keep me being a good girl.”

He texted back, “you should be a good girl without instruments or assistance.”

i said, “the mind is strong, the flesh is weak.”

He responded back, “Hmm”

And that was the end of it…. until today.

i had a massive sinus headache yesterday and went to sleep taking two Benadryl. When i woke, the headache was gone, but i was still groggy. And i just got up and did the “old” routine of go to the kitchen for coffee and sit surfing while drinking coffee and waking up instead of the new routine of going straight to the shower.

And Sir was ready to leave by the time i drank coffee and THEN showered. So before leaving he said, “you didn’t adhere to the new routine. So because I’m leaving now, we need to put you in chastity.”

i was a bit surprised as i didn’t expect that, especially after the last (texting) conversation and all that he’s said about not being a “regular” thing. But i merely said, “yes Sir.” And we put it on.

That’s when he kissed me goodbye and smiled saying, “have a good day… and be a good girl!”

i just said, “Yes Sir, you have a good day too.” Thinking, “of course i’ll be a good girl. i don’t exactly have a choice... but THIS is what you wanted… to have your choice taken away to make it easier to submit. So be glad in it!”

So work was interesting.. for me anyway. i had not gone to work in chastity with a “normal” routine until now. But absolutely no one knew anything was different about me. It is surprisingly well-hidden under all clothing really. And thankfully, i have made appropriate adjustments to wear it long-term without any chafing at all. i have figured out that the tighter it is, the better. Because then it has NO ability to move around, and hence, no chafing.

Well, when i got home from work i expected him to say we would take it off, because i was a good girl today. i didn’t ask to not wear it, i didn’t ask to take it off, and i didn’t complain about wearing it. But when he didn’t tell me i could take it off, i asked if it could come off.

He said, “No. I’d like to keep it on. In fact, I’d like you to sleep with it. Ohhh and we are drinking wine with dinner.”

He KNOWS i get very turned on and very sexted up when i drink wine! And typically, i get sex or orgasm(s) or both when we share a bottle of wine. But no way while in chastity!

i must’ve had a surprised look on my face because that’s when he smirked and said, “well, you said you weren’t strong and your flesh was weak and you needed help…. so…. I’m giving you that help you so need.”

So here i am, locked up, feeling horny after drinking wine and SO wanting to suck or be sucked. i asked him if i could suck his cock. He said, “No. when i want you to do that, i will tell you. And tonight is not it.”

So instead, i get ready for sleep. And as we climb into bed, Sir says, “you gonna be able to sleep in chastity?”

i responded, “do i have a choice?”

He laughed and said, “no, not really…. although officially and technically you do since you have the key.” (Which he gave to me this morning for “emergency use only”)

i asked, “what will happen if i use it?”

He said, “do you really want to go there?”

Me, “No Sir”

Sir, “I didn’t really think so.”

Ultimate lesson learned: Careful what you wish for…….. or write on your blog! 😉

But… that said…… i couldn’t be happier than now with Sir taking charge, giving me direction, guidance, and leading me in every way! THIS is what i really want… to have him lead and know that he is respected and as such, i will obey. That even when i have the key and can make my own choice to unlock myself… we both know that i won’t!

Hugs,

Marie

90 – My Shiny New Toy

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 90 – My Shiny New Toy

The chastity belt is seemingly something that David thinks is good…. and seems to be Christmas in July for me!

While David wasn’t happy that i can’t keep my hands off my clit (causing the need for the belt), the chastity was really my idea as a solution. So i did the research, found one and ordered it. Of course, he didn’t argue or disagree, and ultimately i got his approval prior to ordering it…. so he clearly approves the idea of it.

But then…. my mind is my own worst enemy…. i wasn’t too sure when he saw it what he’d actually think. And whether this was one of MY ideas, and NOT being very submissive at all was a question in my own mind.

i guess i am one who needs reassurance. A lot of it. And when he didn’t say much about it, i just wasn’t too sure either. And i started to doubt.

But now as the day has gone on, i can tell he does like it. He told me he “liked snapping the lock in place and knowing (he) has complete control, especially when we are apart.”

Then i sent him some pictures. And he responded with “love that!”

Just now i asked him “do you have a plan for when you will release me?”

And he said, “the 31st”….. which is 2-weeks from now. i truly think he was kidding, but maybe that’s just me kidding myself.

i did say that if “you have me in it that long, you may as just make it a permanent thing.” To which he responded with, “hmmmm”.

So maybe i’ll be in it for awhile, or maybe no time at all….. i just don’t know.

But my doubt has subsided too!

And a few hours later…..

He released me. To which i was glad because the chafing did indeed start. i could tell some adjustments were needed.

In doing research, i found a lot of belts priced from $150’ish to (quite literally) $1,000+. The $150 are made in China, and like everything there, it’s made on the cheap. The $1,000+ are custom made with lotssssss of tailoring specific measurements.

The China ones are considered to be “starter” ones, and that’s what i got. So while there’s a lot of places to adjust the fit, ultimately, it is made on the cheap and (likely) to cause chafing somewhere/sometime.

So while i made adjustments and will just take time to adjust to, David definitely decided i will wear it again but not 24/7 either.

My thoughts on chastity….

To be honest, though….. i’d kinda like to try wearing it full time. i’d like to have it put back on, the key taken away, and when i want out it has to be asked for and (clearly) approved.

Why? Well, when i had it on, it was a solid (pun intended – get it – metal is solid?!? 😂🤣) reminder that i AM submissive.

And as a submissive – i am NOT in control. And i do NOT hold the key! In fact, i (literally and figuratively!) gave that key to my Sir. And not being able to touch the most private parts of myself without permission and being allowed, feels like the ultimate submission for me.

But David disagrees. And he does not want me to wear it full time. i am a bit disappointed that’s how he feels, but he DID decide this. So as such, i need to respect and appreciate and be happy in that decision! He is my Sir and i am his submissive. And no matter what he decides about anything, even though i have the ability to share my opinions (and trust me, i do!) when his opinion is one i don’t agree with, i have to respect and abide by it in the end.

Maybe this chastity thing is just my newest shiniest toy and i need to recognize thats “all” it is or might be!

So i did not sleep in chastity.

Now today….. Sunday….

Even with David saying no to full-time, with these adjustments in place, i am back in chastity now as i type this.

Going to church on this Sunday morn.

And let’s do a check –

Bra – nope.

Steel panties – yep!

i’ll just have to see how long this goes today. i kinda hope a longgggg time. Maybe overnight and into tomorrow! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

88 – It Has Arrived

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 88 – It Has Arrived

The chastity belt. It came in the mail today.

i won’t deny, the idea of it was hot. When i looked at it, live and in-person, it is a bit overwhelming. Ok, actually, i’m going to scratch the word “a bit”and replace it with “a lot!”

It did take some time to get it all set up and fitted properly. Then i cleaned it… i mean, it is about to be worn right up next to my private parts, so ya know… cleanliness is key.

And then i sat it on the bathroom countertop.

And i walked away.

Sir said, “Put it on. Lock it up!”

And i said, “maybe we should wait to try this out this weekend.” (Today being Thursday).

He agreed. And i felt relief flood in!

It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. In fact, as i was getting it adjusted to fit properly, it really was more comfortable than i anticipated actually.

It just looks more intimidating, more threatening, more than i bargained for, more than i expected…. in fact, maybe just stop with the word “more” and that’s a good description right there!

i mean, i will wear it. i will adjust to it. Just like i adjusted to no bra, no panties, and now… a chastity belt.

It has a steel grate in front to allow pee and a hole in back to allow poo, so in theory, it can be worn all-the-time. And there will be NO touching because there’s just not that much room!

i don’t know yet if it is no to be permanent/ wear all the time. Or just when we focus on orgasm control and edging type things. Or when i get in trouble as punishment.

i just need time to swallow down the fear of “what if”…. something goes wrong, i need to get out of it, someone figures out what i am wearing, it it hurts, it’s too tight, etc etc.

There’s really just SO many unknowns!

Maybe i need to show it some TLC and bond with it… maybe give it a name… i mean, it is about to become a part of me. So maybe by naming it, i’ll kinda “own it” and make it be “mine”.

Let’s see…. maybe TRex. It is big and intimidating. Or Steely. It is made of steel and there’s NO wearing it through any scanner/security without setting off all sorts of alarms! Or ….uhm…. i dunno….. you got any suggestions?

So i’ll just let it sit there until tomorrow after work… and maybe even Saturday morning too….

And then i’m quite sure i’ll end up putting it on, applying the lock, and handing Sir the key. To which i am sure he will smile.

Hugs,

Marie