Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 87 – Got my wish
Sir used me in a way that pleased us both!
And i didn’t say a word to him. i just decided to trust him and be happy in it. No matter what came of it…. or didn’t. And he allowed me to orgasm over and over.
(Thank you D for your comments… it made me think about trust, about letting him be in control, and about the sub mindset…. and i appreciated it so very much!)
i’m very pleasantly happy as i go to sleep!
Hugs,
Marie
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 86 – out of town
Our son is going out of town tomorrow for an overnight trip to the beach with friends. i hope Sir uses me to the best of his ability while our son is gone.
But it’s times like this that i get my hopes up, get all excited… get things in my own head (!!!) that are not in his. And i don’t exactly know how to tell him without topping from the bottom… but if i don’t find some way to tell him, i’ll likely end up being squirrelly-cranky by the end, which is likely to cause problems.
Pre-DD solutions……
And those “problems” in the past would have probably led to a fight. i can hear it in my head now….
David: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?
Me: No, I didn’t tell you, but I assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when I dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why I was dressed (or not) the way I was.
David: I’m NOT a mind reader!
Me: And how exactly should I say, “hey, use me now?”
David: Just like that!
Me: Yes, but I wanted you to want me. Not me telling you to want (and use) me!
David: whatever. You are impossible to please!
(And now we use the silent treatment on one another for awhile and at some point apologize and it’s never discussed again. Leaving me disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat bitter that T-H-I-S wasn’t what I wanted at all!)
*** did you notice that David was not my Sir? Did you notice I was capitalized?
Post–DD solutions…..
Problems…. if i don’t find a way to tell him and he doesn’t think to use me and i do get squirrelly-crazy … this is how the problem would be solved:
Sir: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?
Me: No Sir, i didn’t tell you, but i assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when i dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why i was dressed (or not) the way i was.
(Now to this point, it is exactly the same as before.. except now he’s my Sir and i am little)
Sir: So i have a few things to say and you will listen.
Me: Yes Sir.
Sir: 1st, I am not a mind reader. 2nd, you know you are to dress sexy for me and in a way I like so that’s nothing new. 3rd, i have enjoyed seeing you in less clothing since it’s been unnecessary but I chose to look and enjoy in my way. As such, I have used you! And 4th and last, go assume the position because this assuming that you did, tell-me-after-the-fact how you feel, cranky attitude is never how we deal things now. If you’d found a way to N-O-T assume and to instead speak up earlier than now, this would not be ending this way. I’ll be there in a minute and you should be ready.
Me: Yes Sir
(Notice how he’s firmly in control, i am not, and the rules are pretty clear… and so are the consequences? And most importantly no fighting! And no lingering crankiness, grumpy, sulking ways.)
Back to now……
So knowing all this above… how do i tell him now to use me more than just for eye candy in the next 2-days rather than be sulky and lead to a red ass at the end … without topping from the bottom too? (i seriously struggle with this!)
Suggestions readily accepted…. but make it quick! (key is quick since this alone-time starts tomorrow!)
Hugs,
Marie
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 85 – My ass just shouldn’t gamble.
Yeah, well, you guessed it… i did NOT win the double or nothing bet. My ass was sore in more ways than one yesterday!
The plug didn’t stay in… just started hurting so it came out. And i happen to think David was happy about it as he got to turn it a very bright shade of red. He said, “now the outside hurts as much as the inside! Don’t you wish you’d not gambled with your ass on the line?”
Uh yeah! Most definitely.
The double part was double the strength of his swing. It was 105 very strong smacks with the wooden paddle.
Sir seemed giddy when he said, “ok, it’s time!”
And i went to the bedroom and got into position. The wooden paddle is always placed (by me) in the small of my back for any spanking, per my instructions. He picked it up and said, “ready or not….” and the first swat hit my ass!
Ouch! No warm up was to be had!
And i started counting. It’s always hard to keep count, but it keeps me focused on something other than the pain!
My heels lifted off the floor. And he swiftly saw it and said, “put your heels back down.”.
Man this was a stupid bet on my part. i’ve never succeeded in wearing a plug that long…. what was i thinking?
Why 105? i have no idea…. but i counted. i don’t think he intended it to be 105, but when he was swinging away and he figured out i was counting (he doesn’t make me count out loud), i think it was then that he decided to stop at an “unexpected number”.
Because my ass was red and sore, i really wanted to lay on my stomach to sleep but that caused my pierced nipples to be sore. They are still tender and for 6-more weeks, David doesn’t get to touch them… healing process ya know!
Needless to say, i am extra tired tonight from not having slept much last night. At least i don’t have another spanking in store. i think i’ll try to avoid that this week! 😂
In the end though, i did gamble…. and everyone knows …. the house always wins!
Hugs,
Marie
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 84 – Double or nothing
This morning was supposed to be maintenance morning (MM). But David woke up later than usual and he had an appointment that he had to leave for so he said, “MM will be tonight.”
And i was secretly happy! Because after yesterday’s evening spanking, my rear is still a bit red and tender so i was NOT looking forward to this morning’s reinforcement.
After Sir left the house, i texted and told him these things.
And he responded with a challenge…..
“Should you decide to accept this challenge……. Wear a plug today. If you come home with it in, there will be no MM. but if comes out before you get home…. the MM will be doubled.”
Me: And if i don’t accept?
Sir: then you’ll get MM anyway.
Me: when you say “doubled”…. does that mean extra hard in one sitting or do two sittings (like today and again tomorrow)?
Sir: I haven’t decided yet, but that will be my decision.
Me: OK. Challenge accepted!
So i now sit at work…. plugged. And trying to convince myself (already just an hour in) this was a good idea! sometimes things sound great at the time…. “i can do this”….. and only just an hour later i think, “what were you thinking??”
i’m already thinking how it’s quite likely i won’t be able to sit down much of the weekend……
Hugs,
Marie
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 1 Comment on 83 – Remorse… or lack thereof.
Today i orgasmed…. Without permission. It’s been a long established rule… that is NOT allowed.
This. After having just done so well with edging AND David being so kind just one day prior. 🥴
For a long time now, David & i both have known that i love to have my puss filled. Like really filled. Completely Full.
He has been working toward the ultimate goal of fisting. And it gets me super turned on when he decides he wants to try it. And this morning David told me he wanted to try.
To date we have not succeeded in this. But to even get close (to fisting) it takes a lot of lube, so he told me start edging, get myself (naturally) wet, and he would be in afterward. So i was excited. Super excited. And started.
When he came in, i was getting fairly wet already. He liked it.
He took the bottle of lube and squeezed some out onto my clit as i was also touching it. As he was about to start taking over where i was working, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “I like what I see!”
And that sent me over the edge!
i orgasmed without permission.
And he looked at me with incredulity and said, “Did you just cum? Without permission?”
And i started laughing. Out loud.
Not the right emotion, but i was still technically in the midst of the orgasm, and his surprise and response made me smile… and laugh.
He smiled and said, “well, that’s all you get then! Get dressed and off to work with you!” (And he didn’t seem mad at all. But was most definitely done.)
A few hours later, i got a text, “do you feel remorse?”
i thought about it for a hot second… and… i didn’t.
So, i texted, “No Sir”
And he responded, “you should.”
i responded, “i’d agree.”
He said, “but you don’t, do you?”
i texted, “does it count that i know i should be?? 😉”
He said, “No. Expect repercussions.”
Tonight….. after watching tv for awhile, he said, “are you feeling remorse now?”
Me: not really.
Him: then it’s time. Go Assume the Position.
And i did.
And now i sit here typing …. feeling a lot more remorseful than i did a mere 30-minutes ago. My ass is red and sensitive to the touch,
And he then said, “and don’t think for a minute that this is also your maintenance. That will happen as always (on Friday morning….which is tomorrow…. approximately 12-hours from now.)”
Sure wishing i’d felt a lot more remorseful on my own accord. Maybe at the end of maintenance he will try to fist me, cuz i sure didn’t get any filled-to-the-top feelings today! But i kinda doubt it.
Hugs,
Marie