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106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 7 Comments on 106 – Sometimes Submission Hurts.

More backstory…..About the Worst Spanking Everrrrr.

i heard your concern. And i truly love all of you for feeling comfortable enough to express yourself.

But i think maybe i need to share more with you about what led up to The Worst Spanking Everrrr too. Because context is everything and frankly, i just am not sure i have given you enough.

i always debate how much backstory to give, how much is enough or not enough. i always worry i will bore you (and me too!!) with all these unnecessary tedious details. So sometimes, and this may have been one of those times, some of the details are NOT unnecessary and NOT tedious …. so here goes…..

Did you happen to notice i didn’t give you a lot of info about our vacation? YES it went well. YES what i said was true. i just didn’t go into a lot of detail either……until now…..

Soooo while we stayed in someone else’s house and with our son there too, we knew the discipline would be nonexistent. And i also knew from prior experiences that while David TALKS a lot about keeping a list, tracking the transgressions, making amends upon return…. he almost never follows through.

And i knew it. So every time something happened on vacation that i didn’t like or agree with, i told him. Quite plainly. Quite intentionally. Quite literally….. to test him.

Ok, so that last bit….. testing him….. that was raw and it hurt to type it. i wish i hadn’t said some of the things i did while on vacation. And i was MUCH more bold at the start than at the end. But what’s done is done!

At the start of the week, i was bold and proud and stated what i wanted to in any way i wanted! And he would say, “watch it” and i said “ok”. And he’d say, “I mean it!” And i’d say, “Yes Sir.” But it didn’t deter me. Not really anyway.

This pattern of “edgy – not-so-submissive” attitude and behavior continued. i knew i was playing with fire, but like a fire…. i expected it would eventually flame out and by the time we were home, it would be nothing more than ash.

Since i haven’t given you even one example of what i’m talking about, let me give you one now….

And i was reminded of this particular one because of the word “fire”…….

The people’s home that we stayed in had an outdoor hot tub and fire pit next to one another. We went and got stuff to make s’mores. And i asked David to find out about how to start the fire pit (gas, logs, etc). But he didn’t. And the next day, i said, “we want to do this and you should see about asking today!” He (again) warned me to watch the tone. And i said, “ok.”

Later that day, he started the fire and told us. But our son and i were playing a board game at the time (that easily could have been paused!) and i just said, “ok, we will finish this first.”

And he said, “The fire will go out soon if you don’t get out here and do this.”

i responded, “well fine then!” (In a sarcastic tone). And we went outside.

Then after s’mores, he cleaned up all the remnants (wrappers, extra supplies), and put out the fire while we got in the hot tub. i don’t remember even thanking him, and being honest, i was wondering why he was taking the time to get water and douse the fire logs to put out the fire (100%). i thought it unnecessary since the fire pit was a brick/stand alone put and it seemed a waste of time. ………. (Never mind the fact that “IF” it was needed and NOT done, the whole house could’ve burned down! So the real risk was NOT putting out the entire fire, compared to taking a few trips to get cups of water to fully extinguish the flames.)

Just to put a bit of “good” in this post…. here’s a picture of the sunset view we had that night…. from the hot tub…… (isn’t it absolutely beautiful????)

Now i know that wasn’t such a “terrible” situation but it wasn’t anywhere near “great” either. i was sassy and showed no respect for David. Equally, i also didn’t even appreciate the fact that he not only asked (the homeowners) about the fire …. but he actually went and started it too! And then put it out. And then allowed me and our son to sit and relax in the hot tub too.

And after that attitude and behavior are repeated over and over …. all week long…… it adds up.

And again, i was more or less … testing him. But again, i didn’t figure the Fire would be even be a lit when we were home, so i gave no concern!

Like before, with my previous Post, i guess i haven’t still given you a bunch of examples or specifics. But like before too, i don’t know if all that is necessary or not. If you think it IS necessary to have those details, go ahead and ask!

Then when we were leaving the airport to head home in our vehicle, it seemed David was driving unnecessarily aggressive. i think he was just ready to be home. So i said, “we aren’t in a rush. You need to slow down. This is aggressive driving and not necessary.”

He just glared at me at me and said, “quite enough!”

So i didn’t exactly slip back to submissive ways upon arriving back home! And while what i observed about his driving was indeed true, i didn’t say it at all kind! And our son heard it too. So i didn’t set any sort of positive/good example either!

And just like that… We were home….. and no punishment happened.

It seemed i was right…. the fire had died and only the ash remained. As usual. Per always. No big deal.

There’s NO burn from just ash!

Except it was….. A big deal…..To Me! i didn’t think that’s how it should go. If he isn’t going to follow through, then why waste the breath to say the words? Why even start the fire?? And if you are, then just use that breath to blow it out right then and there!?!

Then you come to yesterday…….

i have told David in (a few) words here and there that i don’t want all the golf lessons. But not very directly or clearly.

i went out to the course with an attitude. i knew it when i got in the car! And it showed itself when i was warming up. And he warned me then.

If you remember, that was when he said he’d take me to the woods and spank me then and there. And i called his bluff. i knew he wouldn’t do it! And i told him so!

So when i blamed him on the course for me having a bad putt…. and he KNEW that i knew to watch the tone and attitude and he had ALREADY WARNED ME!

THAT was when he got angry. And THAT was when he took action. And THAT was when he told me to walk home.

Now ….. i feel like you need a bit of my backstory/thoughts on this too……

We have a LONG history of getting mad at one another and leaving/walking away. Instead of me just doing it (or him just doing it), this time he tested me. i had tested him for over a week and now he was testing me.

He wanted to see how stubborn i was going to be. OR would i submit. Would i actually listen!?!

Additionally, i asked him to help me get into shape and Exercise. And what he didn’t tell me was that he planned all along to quit playing golf longgggg before i was home and to pick me up. Because he wasn’t having any fun at that point either. But he didn’t tell me that…. because again, it was a test. For me. To see what level of difficulty or attitude he was really dealing with. But in the meantime, i would walk (a bit!) and get the exercise i would get anyway.

And when he picked me up, the part i didn’t tell you before…. because i truly never know what detail(s) are enough, too much, just right……

i didn’t jump in the car immediately. He drove beside me and stopped. And i kept walking. He moved up and stopped. And that’s when he said, “Are you getting in?”

And i gave the biggest smart ass answer of all. i said, “i dunno. You haven’t given me permission to get in!”

That’s when he got Reallyyyyy angry. He said, “get in the car now or you will be walking all the way home!”

But it took my own self-talk of, “don’t be stubborn. Just get in the damn car!” To actually get me in the car. So i did.

By the time we got home…. ALL of these things had piled up between us. And neither of us had to speak because we both were angry. We both knew that the way i have been acting is inappropriate.

The fire was NOT just ash… it was flaming high! And my bottom was about to touch it!

He has NO problem listening to me speak …. when i do it in the right way. But the way i’ve been doing it poorly for 10-days now. Even i know, it wasn’t respectful or kind….. and most definitely not submissive!

So maybe that helps you to understand WHY i never saw any of this as extreme. It was overdue actually. It was necessary actions by him that were brought on by me.

SOMETIMES SUBMISSION HURTS.

Sometimes it is not so glamorous. And the pain is real. But submissiveness, in our house, isn’t JUST erotic and sexy. Sometimes it is, but sometimes… it’s not. And it isn’t just INSIDE our house either. But that’s how i’ve acted about it. That’s how i’ve treated it lately especially.

So sometimes, my mind needs a reset by causing my ass to be sore.

And that’s when submission can truly hurt! My ass is still sore but my attitude is infinitely better!

Even so…. i am OK! In fact, i’m better than ok!

And when i played with the Fire…. i got burned. A real butt-burner indeed!

Hugs,

Marie

105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 17 Comments on 105 – Worst Spanking Everrrrrrrrr

i now know the intensity to which Sir can swing the paddle!

i did not realize how much i have underestimated his commitment to enforcing the lifestyle we have with him being (truly) in control. Until today.

And that makes you ask, “what happened?” Ok, i’ll tell you how i got here….. “here” being sitting ever-so-cautiously on my ever-so-reddened-and-already-bruised-ass! (It hurts SO bad just sitting right now! It is throbbing and i am SO very aware of it with every breath!)

(NO, that photo is NOT me…. but it probably should have been. And it almost was. And my ass is currently redder than that one is too!)

A little bit of backstory……

When we met, he taught me how to play golf. That was almost 25-years ago. He always has been and always will be better than i am. We both know this, and it’s all good and we regularly play together.

Because he taught me to play, he continues to “teach” me ……all the time…. and i don’t accept it (anymore) as graciously as i should or used to. Oh sometimes i like it even now, and i used to always like it… back when i still endeavored to play better. But now, i am to the place that i have a good “enough” game that i know i can play with anyone, so i can just want to go have fun!

So with the “help” that Sir (continually) offers, i feel like every decision i make… club choice, stance, target, alignment, swing, follow through, and …..my attitude…. is under a microscope and all of this takes the fun out of it. Again, at this point in my life and skill set, i just go out to have fun and enjoy the friendship with Sir and others we play with too. And i truly don’t care about improving.

i have considered quitting the game altogether, but i keep thinking i will find a way to tell him, “i just want to have FUN! Please Sir talk about something – anything – except for how to improve my game.” If i could do that, i would still be able to go out to enjoy the game and time together with my Sir. But i continue to fail in this endeavor.

And today’s failure was epic!

We went out this morning and were playing with some friends. This is all good.. so far anyway.

When we were still warming up, he offered some “help,” and i said, “i got this.” And i guess i said it too aggressively or annoyed or something because he came back at me and said, “Don’t test me! You know you are to submit! If you don’t, I won’t hesitate to take you in the woods and use my belt on your ass!”

i said, “Yes Sir” out loud…..

But THEN a minute later i added, “While i heard what you said, i truly don’t think you’d do that. You aren’t going to embarrass either of us in front of all these people or make an awkward moment for our friends.”

And he asked me, “Are you testing me?”

To which in my head, i thought, “Indeed i am! i truly don’t think you’d do any of that! So why even say things we both know aren’t true or really EVER going to happen!?!??”………

But out of my mouth, i said, “No Sir.” (i do keep my mouth shut sometimes! But not often! Lol)

And with that, we were off to the first hole. Then it was on the 3rd hole, is when the real problem occurred!

i was about to putt when he said, “It’s uphill.” (Meaning, hit it a bit harder.) And i thought, “Ignore it. Just have fun.”

But that’s when i slammed the putt and sent the ball wayyyyyyyyyy past the hole. That’s when i looked at him and said, “Yes, i knew it was uphill.” And while the rest of our group heckled me for hitting the ball into another state, David was angry.

As we got back into our cart, he said, “Do not EVER speak to me that way again. It was completely unnecessary and uncalled for!”

To which i responded, “Yes Sir.”

And while i was silent then on, it went downhill from there. A few holes later, after we had sat in complete silence…..he said, “You need to walk home. Now!”

So while i was COMPLETELY angry and did NOT think this was necessary…. i did as i was told. i reallyyyyyyyy wanted to tell him that this was extreme and uncalled for. But i didn’t. i didn’t say a word at all actually, and got out of the cart and started walking. It was probably a 1/2 mile back to the clubhouse, and we live 6-miles from the club too. i did NOT want to do this but i also knew i had to! And i decided that by the time i would be home, not only would i get my steps in for the day, but i would have worked out this anger too.

When i was gone about 5-minutes (not long), Sir texted me and said, “Do not EVER blame me again for something you did!”

Well…….. i knew i should’ve simply said, “Yes Sir” and left it alone. But i didn’t (🤭). Instead, i said, “i heard you the first time and i said ‘Yes Sir’ then and i was silent afterward. And then you tell me to walk home.” (Yeah… i know…. not smart!)

He wrote, “Yes I did! And do you have an issue with that?”

Again, the right answer would be, “No Sir” and be done… but nah…. that’s not my style….. sooooooo….. i wrote……

“YES i do! i did as i was told, yet, you are still mad and taking it out on me!”

And he wrote, “So you are refusing to submit?”

i wrote back, “So i AM doing as told, and i AM walking home. But YES, i do have an issue with it!”

And that’s when i just “had to add”……

“and when i pass out on the road – you have only yourself to blame!”

Yeah, i know…. i was COMPLETELY out of line…. but hey…. go big or go home…. oh, wait, i WAS going home! 🤣🤣🤣

And we texted no more.

i probably walked a mile from the course when he pulled up beside me. And i got in and we drove home in complete silence. (i was pretty grateful when drove up because i was pretty concerned if i’d be able to walk ALL the way home without bodily damage… aka: blisters, heat stroke, severe aches/pains. There IS a reason i want to Exercise… but three days in, i’m NOT in good shape…, yet!)

When we pulled in the driveway, he said, “Go inside and Assume The Position Immediately.”

And i did as i was told. Still in complete silence.

He came in and picked up the paddle and wasted NO time in getting to the point.

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

Three in a row. NO warm up AT ALL! All with such intensity that i was already cringing and moving around.

WHACK!

WHACK!

Five before he said a word! He asked me, “what makes you think that you only have to submit to me inside our home? “

WHACK!

“Why do you regularly test me and my authority when we leave home??”

WHACK!

“Do you think you are in charge and can only submit when YOU want to?”

WHACK!

Eight in. He never let up long enough for me to respond, so i wasn’t sure if i should try. But i was hyperventilating and felt the tears welling up. He has never hit with such intensity before. i was in shock and surprise.

While we DO have safe words and i debated using it today, i KNEW i HAD to accept this punishment in all that he would administer. So i know now that i will NEVER use those safe words. i don’t need to. i AM already safe. i trust Sir implicitly. i know he will give me what i need and deserve. i also know he will never abuse the power we have both agreed belongs to him. And i will always submit to everything he gives me!

WHACK!

When will it be over? Should i speak now? We’re all those questions rhetorical? We both know the answers already anyway!

WHACK!

Ten. Maybe that’s all.

He said, “Do you know who is in charge?”

This time, i did respond, “Yes Sir. You are.”

“Do you intend to submit 100% of the time from now on?”

“Yes Sir.”

WHACK!

Crap… more. i can barely breath or talk and the tears are in my eyes. How many more??

That’s when he stood me up and hugged me for a good long time….. fully until i was able to breathe again and completely calm. Then he said, “we are done. But you’ll do better in the future. Correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

And i put my head down and walked to the bathroom to shower and truly/completely recover.

That’s when i thought it was over…… And i was wrong!

He came in about 5-minutes later. i was still in the shower yet. And he said, “I didn’t get the impression you were truly remorseful. We may need to start all over.”

And he left.

That was confusing. Now what? Do i re-Assume The Position or not? Please no! My ass stings so badly and the shower water feels like it is spanking me too as i clean it!

But i got out of the shower, went to him, and said, “i am remorseful, but if you don’t think i have acted so, i will submit to a repeat session.”

And he looked me square in the eye and said, “I think we do! Let’s go! Right NOW!”

And he followed me in the bedroom. And we repeated it!

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

And just like that… the hyperventilating and tears returned.

After FIVE more and no pause or words in between, he said, “why did you slink off to the shower? You didn’t seem remorseful but rather still angry. Inappropriate!”

As i was trying to breathe, unsure if another lick was about to fall, and trying to compose myself and thoughts enough to speak…. i said, “i was feeling surprised, humiliated, and trying to stay out of more trouble by just keeping my head down.”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO is in control?”

“You are Sir!”

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

“WHO?”

“You Sir. i’m so sorry Sir.”

WHACK!

“Say it again!”

“You are in control Sir and i am sorry Sir.”

Breathe….. prepare for another…. it isn’t coming…. he isn’t speaking….. wait….. breathe slower…. get a grip…..no more are falling, i think maybe it’s over….. this is a long pause….. i am nervous. But i WILL SUBMIT and simply wait!

He stood me up and looked at me.

i looked him in the eye and said, “i am sorry Sir. Thank you for the discipline and your leadership.”

He then said, “I now believe you are remorseful. Why didn’t you apologize the first time?”

“i was embarrassed. And surprised at your intensity. And at your commitment to being in charge. And i wasn’t sure how to respond exactly.”

“In the future, you look me in the eye and you thank me. You don’t slink off or put your head down. Or else we will repeat the punishment again and again until you do.”

“Yes Sir. i love you Sir.”

And he hugged me, and said, “I love you too!”

And it was (finally) over.

And now my ass is more sore than it has EVER been. It hurts to walk, sit, or stand. It is bruised. And it’s no wonder, with 24 very hard and fast whacks in a span of about 20-minutes.

i have NO doubt it will hurt still tomorrow too!

But… it’s over. And it’s ok. i am OK!

i actually respect him more. He is indeed in control. And i have NO doubt he will do what it takes to ensure order remains inside AND out of our house too!

Final words….. so while i names this post “worst spanking ever”…. ,Anne it was the “BEST spanking ever” because we had a break through. A lot changed today….namely: my perspective. And appreciation. And respect. For David. My Sir.

If i had any doubt before, i have NO doubt now……. he is indeed my Sir. And i will always very happily submit to him!

Final (final) words…. to DOMINANTS…… while i can’t speak for all submissives, it is my opinion that we respect you MORE for taking control and doing what needs to be done. Instead of giving a pass, letting something slide, or shying away from discipline altogether. Remember…. many of us, including me, asked you to implement this lifestyle. We know what we signed up for. Please do! Embrace it. Go all in!

And that’s how i feel…. more respect now than ever…. at least until the next time i sit down. JJ. Lol.

Hugs,

Marie

81 – Time will tell

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 81 – Time will tell

Sometimes i dream up scenarios in my head about how D/s with DD could go.

i don’t know if you’d call that a “fantasy” or not, but here’s one such fictional story that i imagined in my head today…….

BACKGROUND:

i have a chastity belt on order. And i just finished a 7-day Edging challenge. In truth, i am equally happy AND fearful of this chastity belt. i think i am fearful because of the unknown… i just don’t know what exactly to expect. Hence, why i think i dreamed you a scenario of how it “might” go.

So as i wait the arrival of the belt, i’ve thought about how it will feel, how often i will have to wear it, and how things with it will go.

NOW:

i specifically envisioned this conversation in my head…..

Sir: go to the bedroom and edge. Stop only long enough to ensure you don’t cross over the edge. Do NOT cum! And I’ll be there shortly.

Me: Yes Sir.

And i do as told. About 10-minutes later, Sir comes in. And sits on the bed beside me.

Sir: are you frustrated?

Me: Yes Sir. Can i cum now that you are here?

Sir: no. But you can stop edging.

i start to get up.

Sir: I never said you could get up. Lay back down and open your legs.

i do as told. He touches me and it feels SO good!

Me: Please Sir, may i pleaseeee cum?

Sir: NO!

And he stops the touching.

Sir: Now let’s get your belt on you for the day. I want you to want me. To hear you beg to let you cum. To make sure you know you only get to cum when I allow it. I want to get you to the place where I walk by you and your juices flow down your leg because you are so well trained to be wet for me, that I don’t even have to speak. And if I said “cum now” you would, without me even touching you! That is the goal my love!

Me: Yes Sir.

And he locks me up, and afterward twirls the key in his hand.

Sir: I guess you better hope I don’t lose this key now! Right?? And if you are my good girl, you’ll maybe get to cum tonight. But you have to be good, don’t you?

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: now kiss me, thank me, and get ready for work.

And i do as told.

TRUTH: i have no idea how this belt will go and that conversation above hasn’t happened. And in writing, it sounds hot. In practice, i may not like it too much. Time will tell.

Tick-Tock……..

Hugs,

Marie

76 – Memoir – i asked to implement Domestic Discipline.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 76 – Memoir – i asked to implement Domestic Discipline.

If you’ve read the other Memoir series posts, you now know that i didn’t get to this place, being a submissive, in what most might call a “traditional” way. And David didn’t grow up with this lifestyle either it. So this has been a process for us!

  • IF YOU ARE A HUSBAND READING THIS…. i respectfully ask you to really read this post thoroughly. i want you to know…. women ask this a LOT! …..in fact, it is the #1 thing i am asked, and i’ve seen it on other blogs also….. “How can I get my husband to lead/be a Dom, let me submit, implement spanking, implement DD.. how did you get your husband to do it?” These are the questions i am asked the most. Many women want this! Talk to your wife and try it. Read this and Be encouraged! Have faith. Lead your wife and your home. Be courageous! And now off my soapbox…and back to the regularly scheduled program….

So THIS is how we specifically came to be the Dominant and submissive (D/s) couple that we are with Domestic Discipline (DD) in our marriage……..

After i did many years of soul searching and sexual discovery, i came to realize that –

i am submissive.

In fact, i always have been. i just didn’t know it until all the searching ….in my mind, on the internet, and ultimately in the Bible….. led me to verses that most women in current generations have (quite literally) come to hate…Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

But if you go just ONE more verse in the Bible it says…25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

So i started pondering……if THIS is our directive from God, why are we not living this?

Interestingly about this same time, our pastor did a sermon on these verses. He said (basically), “God intended there to be harmony in a household, so he declared one leader and one follower. So he told women to submit. But he didn’t leave men without any directive at all, men are to love their wife…unconditionally.”

That led me back to the internet. “Is spanking your wife biblical??” i mean, what happens if i don’t submit? Shouldn’t there be consequences?

While there aren’t specific things in the Bible saying men should spank women, there’s enough there to make one aware that this isn’t out of the question either. (See this specific blog post that gave me a lot to ponder: Biblical Gender Roles)

That was the day… i went to Amazon and ordered a wooden paddle.

i waited.

It came in the mail.

And that was the day, before i lost my courage, that i knew i had to talk to David about this.

To this point David knew i was getting deeper into all this “sexual stuff” and he saw i was searching (again!) for information and for toys on Amazon (again) too.

When we were both laying in bed, just the two of us, quiet time really, and just before he was preparing to do some nightly reading….. i handed him the Amazon package.

He asked, “what is this?”

i said, “open it please.” And he did.

He held the paddle and laughed and said, “is this the latest toy you’ve bought? And you want me to use this on you?? No. I won’t.”

And my heart immediately sunk. i asked, “why?”

He said, “I’ve always been taught men do not hit a woman. Ever. You know that!”

That’s when i said, “this wouldn’t be hitting me, but spanking me. And i don’t want this to be seen as a sexual toy but rather a method to implement domestic discipline. i want to be the submissive wife you deserve and that God has commanded actually. i want you to lead our household, family, and me. You’ve told me in the past i didn’t respect you, and i now think that’s true because i haven’t built you up to be the man you are supposed to be. i haven’t given you the support i should.

But that means i need you to be dominant. i need you to lead, guide, and be in control. And i will follow. But undoubtedly there will be times when i don’t. i don’t know why or when, but because we are both still humans-with-a-brain, there will come a time that i don’t do these things. And that’s when discipline will be needed. That’s when you will need to force me to submit. And i WANT you to do it. i am telling you these things now, when we are both sober and sane, and i am telling you, i want this! i need this!

So you see, this won’t be hitting me at all. It will be correcting me through love in a way that quite literally makes an impact that will be needed, encouraged, and accepted. i consent fully and i’ll write it down on paper, have it notarized, or whatever. i truly mean this.

David, will you be my Dominant husband and implement Domestic Discipline in our home?”

  • IF YOU ARE A WIFE READING THIS…. Yes, i literally spoke the words out loud! i had NO idea how he would respond and i was quite literally very vulnerable at this moment. But the ultimate answer to the questions….“How can I get my husband to lead/be a Dom, let me submit, implement spanking, implement DD.. how did you get your husband to do it?”…. is to ask! Speaking it out loud validates it… to him AND to you! If you had the courage to ask me, find the courage to now go ask HIM! And once again, back to the program…..

Now if David had acted according to the script in my head, he would’ve said, “yes, you are absolutely right. I will indeed accept this role. We need this in our home. In fact, I’d like to try this paddle out now and start learning how to use it. So get over here and bent over my knee!”

But life isn’t a scripted part. In fact, if it were, it wouldn’t be HIM in control but me! So it’s probably good that he didn’t do as i wanted him to!

What he actually said was, “woah. I thought we were headed to bed! I don’t know about this latest sexual fantasy you want me to act out. I’ll think about it.”

And he turned off the light, put down the iPad, rolled away from me and that was that. It was clear though, the “discussion” (if you want to even call it that) was over.

i went to sleep feeling disappointed. i rehashed that conversation in my head a thousand times, didn’t sleep well, tossed and turned. But i did drop it and let it lie. And i prayed, “God, is this the way this is supposed to go? If it is, i need your help. Either change David’s heart or mine. But we need your help one way or the other. Show him this isn’t a sexual fantasy and i don’t want this to be just that. i want this to be a way of life, 24/7.”

David put the paddle in the bedside stand bottom drawer (and it’s still housed there to this day!) and about a week went by without a word about it, DD, D/s, nothing at all.

And as we were getting ready for bed one night, he said very calmly, “do you still want me to spank you?”

And i said, “yes. As necessary correction and discipline when i don’t submit and ultimately undermine your authority as my Dominant husband.”

And he said, “then get over here and let’s try this out.”

That was when i dropped my clothes, laid on the bed, on my stomach, naked, and waited.”

He basically tapped my ass with it and asked, “Does that hurt?” i said, “No Sir” and that was most definitely the truth!

And he did it again harder, and again harder, and again harder yet. Repeating the question.

When he did about 5 or so, he announced, “that’s enough” and was done.

(i think he didn’t quite believe me that it truly didn’t hurt! And he was probably afraid he would hurt me for no good reason… and thoughts of hitting a woman & abuse of his wife flooded his brain… not to mention, he was likely testing my response too. Was i truly accepting of this? Did i truly want a new way of life or just a sexual fantasy? And with all these new thoughts in his head, he had to digest it too.)

Not one of those taps was even remotely hard. i was encouraged and disappointed at the same time. i couldn’t imagine that this little play-tapping spanks as ever being something that would create a change in me and truly serve as “discipline”. And yet, he initiated this now. He tried. He had been thinking about this for a week. It hadn’t been forgotten about, like i had actually begun to think. In the end, i don’t consider this to be my first spanking, but rather the try-it-before-you-buy-it spanking.

But that’s when he did say, “we can try this if you want.”

And i said, “i want”.

He laughed and said, “ok…. careful what you wish for!”

To which i replied, “i only wish to restore you to the place in our marriage and house that you should’ve always been anyway. As my Dominant Husband. i wish to submit and be disciplined when i don’t!”

i kissed him with passion and he made mad-passionate, intense, “I own you” kind of love to me. And i thanked him.

And that’s when i had the courage to ask, “do you still think we are not sexually-compatible?”

He said, “not anymore!”

i’d like to say we have never looked back, but that’s not quite true. We have refined the protocol, the process, the expectations, and the discipline. He’s gotten more confident as we go, he’s learned to wield the paddle quite effectively, while i’ve learned to say, “Yes Sir” and “Thank you Sir” quite confidently.

And it works! It is exactly where God led me. It is exactly where God wants us to be.

In case you are wondering, yes, we still belong to those dating sites, we do occasionally still meet people and have sex with them, but rarely really. We don’t really have time in our lives to do those things anymore. But if he said today, “let’s go do this thing with X&Y, i’d simply ask, “what’s the attire and when do we leave?” And i’d love every minute of it.

But ultimately we have more conversations and fantasies about it now than anything at all. As a result of ALL this, i trust David fully and implicitly, which is why i didn’t get at ALL upset when he sent me the pic of the masseuse’s pierced nipples. i know my place in our marriage and he knows his. And i am confident in it!

That was when i found other DD blogs, specifically DD Jennifer, and i was inspired by hers to start my own. So go read hers or start at the beginning of mine…. because now you are fully aware of what happened RIGHT up to me starting this blog…. which was also the start of our D/s using DD relationship.

We’ve changed, grown, and improved our D/s relationship over these last couple of years… for the better. i can’t wait to see what the next year(s) hold too!

Hugs,

Marie

75 – handyman, i am NOT!

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 75 – handyman, i am NOT!

We have a reverse osmosis water filtration system (that’s a mouthful!) to filter our drinking water. The main tank and pump are housed under our kitchen sink island.

Every so often we have to replace the filters to keep the water flowing properly, otherwise the water pressure dwindles to (basically) nothing. We did that this past weekend but the water pressure did not immediately return the way it has in the past.

David told me to call the people who installed it and schedule them to come out.

(Mistake number 1 – right here – i should’ve JUST scheduled it. But i didn’t)

So i called yesterday. The tech lady asked a few questions and told me the “tank needs to be disconnected and emptied, then use a bicycle pump to put in 8-10 psi, reconnect it and should be good to go.”

i said, “oh that sounds a bit past my expertise”

(if only i’d have stopped there! And done as i was told and scheduled the tech to come fix it)

She tells me, “Oh it’s really not hard at all.” And in short time, convinces me too.

i hang up. i tell David. He said (and i do quote!), “you should just schedule them to come do this. I don’t think this is a good idea. Too much can go wrong.”

(And if i’d only stopped T-H-E-R-E!…. but oh no…. i didn’t!)

i told David how easy it was, what the tech had told me, i even googled it to see how “right” she was, watched a YouTube video. And David said, “well, if you want to…..”

Then he told me, “if it works, you can cum sooner than the 7-days! But if it doesn’t…..” (and he smirked)

(Challenge accepted. Game on. Finish line… here-i-CUM!!)

So i went to work, all in all, i thought i succeeded. With just one teensy little concern….. when i turned the water valve to the “on” position, it made a fizzing sound like when you open a bottle of soda for the first time. Neither the tech nor the video made any mention of this.

But now we simply had to wait 2-4 hours for the water tank to do its thing, fill up, etc. Nothing to do really except wait and see.

So because i started this at almost 7pm, i wouldn’t know if it worked until close to bedtime. And because of my edging assignment, (can’t cum until i know this has proven successful!), i went to the bedroom to do so.

And i stayed there afterward, readied for bed, read, turned out the light and went to sleep.

(This is one more opportunity to have possibly changed the outcome. If i had at least gone to check on it… the next part likely could’ve been avoided…. but no, i didn’t even do that much!)

This morning comes and i wake, as usual, 6am. i go straight to the kitchen to get coffee (zombie without it!). i don’t even turn the lights on, but the sun is coming up so it’s dark but not pitch black either.

And i stepped in water.

i flipped on the lights and there is about 1/2 – 1 inch of water covering the entire kitchen floor. (oh holy S@#%!!!!)

Well, David was in the front of the house and i walk in and say, “will you come help me please Sir?”

“With what?”

“The kitchen”

“I take it the tank-fix didn’t go well?”

“No Sir, most definitely not!”

And when he walked into the kitchen, in front of me, he said, “holy hell!”

And we went to work cleaning. He never yelled. He never even sounded mad. i think that was ONLY because we had to come together and get this cleaned up.

We saturated 8-towels, used 3-rolls of paper towels, and a shop vac. Now the water is off the floor – for what we can see. What we can’t see and don’t know is: 1) what is still under the wood floors that could cause warping or mold, 2) what is still under the island and could also cause mold.

When we were mostly done, he dressed and left to go play golf (previously planned). And gave me instructions on how to finish.

And just before he left he said, “next time, you’ll just schedule the handyman straight away, correct? You need to call and get it scheduled now too.”

“Yes Sir”

“Do you understand you screwed up?”

“Yes Sir”

“We will deal with this when I get home”

“Yes Sir”

So now, i sit here with the shop vac still going full force…..Trying to coerce the water to come out of the island as i type this out. i can only pray there are no ultimate lingering house-damaging problems from this!

While i accept the punishment that will ensue later today, i am dreading it too…. i know this spanking will be a serious punishment and pain. And it will likely cause me to cry. And i deserve it, and i will accept it. i likely will still feel it’s impact tomorrow on my rear side.

And now i have NO idea when cumming will be allowed either. i haven’t even mentioned that! There’s no point really! i won’t be surprised if the 7-days start over or are at least extended for some time to come.

There are so many places in this (unfortunately very true) story i could’ve changed this outcome. And i didn’t.

But here’s the positive…. because of DD, we are NOT fighting about this, we are working together on this, we are actually very much in sync on this, and we have a way to fix this and move on without resentment or ill will. When this frightful story does come to an end…. after the punishment today, the tech people come fix this properly, and we know there’s no lingering damage that remains…. it will be done. No future rehashing, throwing it up in my face, or fighting then about it either.

And for that, i am grateful.

(i will give you the last Memoir today…. or possibly tomorrow… i may not be allowed online the rest of today as another side of this punishment…. he knows i love to blog and taking it away today might be a punishment i have to accept)

Hugs,

Marie