70 – insecurity and reassurance needed

If you think i am confident in my own skin, lifestyle, and person… you are mostly right, but like everyone, sometimes doubt creeps in and i question everything. Okay, maybe not “everything”, but still.

Today was one of those days.

i reallyyyyyyy like my nipple piercings. (If you haven’t already, read this post first — > Happy Birthday to Sir).

i did both of them. It didn’t hurt nearly like i expect either during or now after. In fact, they don’t really hurt at all sometimes and i forgot i even did it. And at its worst, i’d categorize the pain at a “level 2”, so not much. But today… i doubted myself.

The pain comes and goes and when at “level 2”, the pain is a throbbing feeling. i think it is the blood flow learning to move around differently and it causes some throbbing. i know this will ease and eventually that won’t even be a thing.

But as it was throbbing, i pulled my shirt down and looked at my pierced nipples. As in, REALLY LOOKED at them. And i found fault.

Not in the piercing itself, but everything else… here were my thoughts…..

“my nipples aren’t that big, the aureolas aren’t that big. Those bar bells look stupid being so big. Why did i do this?”

i am almost 50-years old. This was not something that someone my age should have done. Will i die with these in? What will someone think when i am 70- with these in?”

“i acted irrationally and just ‘did this’ too quickly. i didn’t even think this through. Maybe i just did it to please Sir and i don’t even know if he ‘r-e-a-l-l-y’ likes them”

TIMEOUT….. in my not-so-deep-in-my-head moments…

While some of it is true… my boobs are large (38-D) but nips and aur’s are small(er), i DID think about the piercings a LOT. i did do it for me, and yes Sir too, but not JUST him), and I DO like them and i KNOW he loves them!

But yesterday, i was my own worst enemy and lost confidence and doubted my recent actions.

i was alone at the time, and that was probably my first problem! But it was also about the time when i got a text from Sir. It said, “I just got a 90-minute massage all focused on my back. In talking with the masseuse, she pierced her nipples the same day as you.”

And then a pic of her pierced nipples came through too.

Now some of you may be wondering about his fidelity to me, why was he looking at her nips, etc. but that’s not what this post is about and i wasn’t the least bit concerned about that. i’ll address that another day.

What’s more is… i didn’t even think about the fact that he had a pic of her, that he was actually talking about mine, nothing.

What i focused on when i saw that pic was all the things that i was not. She had about the same size breasts as me, but larger nipples. And her jewelry had pink barbells, where mine is just ordinary plain silver. And i decided i liked hers more and got even more “upset” with myself in the process.

Sir had NO idea i was “in my head” at the time. He has been known to tell me, “get out of your head and join us in the real world.” And had he known what i was doing and thinking at the time, he likely would’ve said this to me.

i texted him back and said, “hers look better than mine with her larger nipples. i’ve never liked my smaller nipples and i don’t know that the piercings look as good on me as they do on her.”

He immediately wrote back, “I like yours. I have always liked yours and they look even better now with the piercings! She likes yours too. She basically said the same about yours as you did about hers.” (We took “before and after” pics of mine…..and if i get brave enough and David approves for me to ever show a pic of myself on here, i will show you…. but not now…sorry!. But he definitely must’ve showed her those pics of me).

TIMEOUT again…………

So this is where i truly sat back, rewound, and gave this whole situation more thought……..

Sir is CLEARLY …..V-E-R-Y … happy with ME…. before piercings and even more after! So much so, he is talking to a masseuse he just met, when he’s not with me, and “I” am on his mind! (i capitalized that “I” to emphasize that “I” was who he was thinking about. “I” was who he’s talking about. And “I” am who he is in love with!)

When i responded to his text, i just said, “really?” And he said, “YES. Are you doubting me?”

And i thought to myself, “No, i was actually doubting myself.

Reassurance …. sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it comes in ways we wouldn’t expect (getting a text of another woman’s pierced nipples). Sometimes it comes when we need it most (when he talks about me to a complete stranger – Because he’s in love with ME and then tells me about it). Sometimes it’s in his touch (when he got home, while he knows he can’t touch the piercings until they are healed or it could risk infection, he instead cupped my breasts and squeezed the bottom sides and smiled big at me….. then proceeded to kiss me with passion and desire… like a “you are mine, ownership” desire.

And suddenly, i was in love with my nipples and the piercings they hold. And of course, my David. My husband, HoH, lover, and best friend!

(And btw… after the healing occurs, in about 2-months, i’ll change out the jewelry to pretty-pretty stuff…. maybe hoops that he can attach a chain from the nips to the clit…. 😋🙋‍♀️🥰😍☺️)

Hugs,

Marie

16 comments

  1. I’m really happy that David was able to reassure you. You should love your body, it’s the only one you get. This is something I’ve been working on this year. I finally have an appointment for next week to cut my hair into the pixie cut I’ve wanted for years but was too scared to get. The other thing I’ve wanted to do? Nipple piercings. Keep us updated on how you like them/how aftercare is, please. Maybe it’ll be my next adventure!

    Liked by 1 person

    • D – thanks for the reassurance from you too!! I should love my body more than I do. That’s definitely something I should work on. I will let you know about after care as I go for sure! (It’s SO easy so far…..).
      Happy Friday! Marie

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      • Hi Marie!

        My own piercing adventure is coming sooner than I thought! Apparently DH really liked the idea of me getting them pierced. My appointment is for Sunday afternoon!! Thank you for writing about yours! Hope you have an amazing weekend!

        -D

        Liked by 1 person

      • D – woo hoo! Let me know if you have any specific questions. I’ll share more if you need it! It wasn’t even close to as painful as I anticipated. The moment of was eye opening and for several hours they throbbed. But by the next day, barely hurt, and now today I wouldn’t know they were pierced if I didn’t look at them. Of course, I’m sincerely careful to not bump/scrape/rub up against anything. I don’t want to irritate them unnecessarily!
        Good luck.
        Marie.

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      • Thank you Marie! Any recommendations on what to wear when I go? Something loose? Padded bra? Anything you wish you knew ahead of time? I’m hoping my masochistic tendencies will help me through the pain. Hehe

        Liked by 1 person

      • A “nice fitting” bra would be good. Not too loose and not too tight. And plan that the sites may bleed a bit. Mine did for just a minute but with my bra on it, by the time I got home, it was all done and gone. But it did stain my bra, so be sure to wear something you don’t care if it does happen. Otherwise, wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident!

        Be sure to ask about hypo-allergenic jewelry. Most people use this anyway, but you do NOT want Nickel. Most people are allergic to it.

        The bar bell is the best to start with. Being a straight metal bar, it allows the “inside” to heal better than it does with a looping or arching steel jewelry. So I recommend bar bells.

        Because of COVID, I had to do it by myself. They let no one else in. And i had to wear a mask. You might check those requirements.

        The after care is MUCH simpler than I had thought it was going to be. They don’t recommend all the cleaning, moving the jewelry, etc that used to be true with piercings. And it is a recovery time of about 2-3 months, that you can NOT touch them (other than to wash) or you can introduce bacteria and set up infection.

        That’s all I can think of ☺️
        Marie.

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  2. Something that my husband reminds me of when I have days of not loving my body is to remind me that God gave me this body. He created it just for me and disliking it is disliking God’s own creation. God gave you the perfect nipples, because they are yours, made by Him! Adorning your breasts with jewelry, especially to please your husband, is a beautiful way to honor His creation! ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Valerie – thank you. I needed to hear this message today too! I know many people don’t approve of “exotic” piercings, so I’m even more encouraged by your message saying that putting jewelry in my God-given breasts/nipples is beautiful! This made my heart happy. ☺️❤️
      Marie

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  3. Marie,

    You are the best! I never would have considered a lot of the things you mentioned!

    I really can’t wait. I’ll make sure to let you know how it goes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really enjoyed reading this and can relate your self doubt. It was funny that you dismissed him having the picture as I was also thinking that and trying to imagine how the conversation got to that point but I know that was not the purpose of your post. I think we can be so hard on ourselves and leaning to try to see yourself as he sees you is part of being a submissive I think. I hope that you do lost a picture. I don’t have a piercing and am not a fan of my nipples as I feel that mine are too big. We are never happy 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Missy –
      As part of my memoir series, you’ll learn why I dismissed the photo. 😉
      Interesting how you think about too big. I guess we are all Goldilocks… too big, too small, and never quite just right.
      Thanks for reading and commenting! I am honored!
      Marie

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am glad that you commented on mine as it lead me to you. I am always on the look out for new blogs to follow and especially like the reflective D/s (DD) ones 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh and re the photo it wasn’t so much you dismissing it as I don’t worry about things like that either it was trying to figure out how they got to why don’t I show you a picture of my nipple piercings from a simple massage. I am quite open about these things but I know that often the world is not. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ahh – now I see your perspective! I quite agree. I am pretty open myself… I tell people “I don’t always offer up my thoughts, but if you want to know… ask…. but be careful what you ask for”. 🤣

        And David has told me I ought to post a pic of my pierced nipples. I just get leery (and worried about judgement – that frankly shouldn’t matter at all!!) about posting pics of ME. And while likely semantics, he said “ought to” not “had to”… so i haven’t done it yet. ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      • You could always add them to sweets Fun Theme Photo Meme. The theme for June is Half Full, Half Empty, Half Way and for
        July it is Independence but you don’t need to fit the theme.

        Like

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