i know that David doesn’t always read my posts, but sometimes he does too. He read my last post about (fictional) stress relief and he was kinda amused but i really think mostly annoyed.
No, we didn’t get into a fight. But his annoyance was real.
We go to church most Sundays. Frequently we drive separately though because David is apart of our church’s tech team and works on the live stream, camera switching duty crew. As such, he has to be there much earlier than the service start time, so we generally drive ourselves.
Well i was finishing that post when he was on his way to church and i sent him a link to it. i wanted him to see where my mind has been lately….. me realizing he has work-stress, i need to give him space, be a good submissive wife… and yet, feeling sex-needy too.
i think it’s easy to get distracted from ourselves and our relationships when work (aka: Real Life) gets in the way. i think this is part of why they say “making a marriage work is hard work.” It has to be intentional and you have to make time for it. Kinda like putting meetings or appointments on the calendar, you almost need to do the same thing with your spouse.
But that seems silly, right? To make an appointment with my husband to do…. what exactly? Watch tv? Eat dinner? Have sex?
Shouldn’t all those things “just happen naturally”?? And can “scheduled sex” be fun? Don’t you need to feel like it first?
Well…. yes and no. i mean, sure… it should happen naturally. But sometimes it just doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, it may need to be scheduled. Even scheduled sex can be fun… and at the very least, it can serve as a reminder of when you did “feel like it” naturally. And that remembrance trigger could cause the desire to want it to return too.
Oh don’t misunderstand, we have desires. We aren’t NEVER wanting sex or sexual relations. Heck, that’s pretty much the point of my last fiction post…. i have these desires but it’s not lining up with Sir’s desires, or time availability, and hampered by the stress he has at work too.
So I suppose that’s the other thing about it… you have to both feel like it at the exact same time too. And again, life gets in the way. Making marriages hard to maintain, without scheduling it on the calendar.
Well, that’s the thing about being a submissive wife… who happens to be feeling sexually needy… my job is to serve him. In the way that’s fulfilling to him. Remember that other post i did recently about that too? (Oh wait… i haven’t finished that one. Okay, sneak peek … the book “Real Service” i am reading is all about how a sub provides a servo e to the Dom, but only in ways and tasks that the Dom actually wants and desires. That post soon to be finished too!)
Now coming back to this Sunday morning, he read my fiction post when he got to church. While he’s on the tech team, and they do a run through, much of his duties include “making sure it all works fine.” Which pretty much means he has to set it up, sit back and wait to see if it works or doesn’t while all the musicians and pastors go about the practice they need too. So he has a lot of down time, and that’s when he read my sex-filled-post…. while at church. (Devious of me, right?)
Yeah, he kinda thought so too. He wasn’t happy that i have pointed out his stress (and not much time for me right now), and texted it to him while he’s at church no less. But then again, i doubt he was surprised either.
He texted me with, “I read this. You haven’t worn the chastity belt in awhile. I suspect you’ve gotten yourself hot and bothered while writing this post. You best not have caused yourself to orgasm without permission. If I find out you have, you’ll be punished. Have you?”
Uhmmmmmm. i am getting a bitter sweet answer to my (unintended) cry for attention………
He told me it seems i am “acting out in a passive-aggressive and unbecoming way.”
i have said before i probably should call myself a brat-type-submissive. i truly didn’t intend this to be that way, but as i stop and think about it, i think he’s right. (Ok, i know he’s right… but i don’t like being wrong. And i didn’t do it on purpose, so i don’t even want to admit it now either.)
The text continued, “You need to dress for the day and wear that chastity belt. Bring the key with you to church. I’ll hold onto it the rest of the day. I’ll decide when you can or should be released. Maybe it will be after I orgasm first though and given my stress level, I have no idea when that may happen!”
i don’t get sexual release. But i do get sexual attention. And it wasn’t a scheduled appointment either. And i probably do need a spanking to be reminded to be submissive while being reminded the bratting-way isn’t acceptable …. while also being reminded that submission is about my service to Sir in the way that is meaningful to him. Just saying.
i guess i have a long day ahead of me. And it’s now time to dress for church.