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89 – And just like that……

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i sit here in chastity. Watching tv. Like nothing is any different than any other day.

You could look at me and have no idea that there are new “panties” that exists under this skirt of mine. Unless of course you happen to hear the slight sound of the lock clinking against the belt as i walk, or smell the pre-cum dripping down my leg, or see the smile on my Sir’s face as he held the key and said, “try to be good today!”…..

REWIND…….

This morning i was dressing for the day…. which on the weekend has no bra and no panties as typical protocol. i was anticipating that now that it is “the weekend” that “soon” the chastity would be put on.

After taking a shower and dressing, i was doing my hair. That’s when Sir walked up behind me and pulled my skirt up. As always, i never refuse his touch so while i paused and stood still, i waited for him to decide what came next. He smiled and ran his hand over my ass in a smooth, seductive, sultry way.

And he promptly dropped my skirt and said, “aren’t you missing something?”

i knew what it was in reference to, but i still said, “what do you mean?”

And he said, “do you really think i’m going to leave you (to go play golf) with you unprotected?”

i said, “you have before.”

And he said, “yes, but that was before we got the chastity… and we both know we got it for a reason…..we both know you can’t keep your hands off of what belongs to me!”

So with equal amounts of intrepidation and excitement, i laid it out open on the bed and laid down inside the edges. So i pulled the 3-sides altogether and held it in place while handing Sir the lock (and key).

He put the lock in place, snapped it shut, and pulled out the key.

And that’s when he said, “And just like that.. I’m off to golf and you need to try to be good today!”

Like i have a choice now.

But i had a choice before and always bugged him to masturbate. And sometimes didn’t even bother to ask and just did it anyway. Of course, i paid the price with guilt, coming clean to him, and subsequent punishment. But now, instead of detective controls, we have preventative controls. It will work. Of course it will.

And to be perfectly honest… it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as i anticipated. In fact, it’s similar to wearing a (tighter) thong. We shall see if it chafes, how it’s going to be to use the bathroom, or if it causes any trouble at all today.

i’m not entirely sure what the official plan yet for how long, now permanent, or how regular i’ll be wearing these new “panties,” but for now…..i’m doing ok! And frankly, part of submission is not knowing the plan, and not needing to know the plan, and still being ok with it, and i’m ok!

So while i won’t be getting “off” today, i will be off now to find some wholesome, good hearted, “family” show to watch today.

Hugs,

Marie

Day 14: My Submissiveness

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Day 14: REAL-LIFE BDSM…How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

For me, my kinkiness is being submissive, and it is 24/7. Not “just” when having sex, which is where i think most of the fantasies come from.

In fact, i think most fantasies about D/s is specifically about slaves….and not “just a” submissive. Now i don’t want to get into an entire discussion of the differences between slave and submissive here, but suffice it to say (here) that i see a slave with a lot fewer choices than a submissive.

So slave fantasies, in my mind anyway, include stuff like having her walk naked through the streets, chained or leashed, and when at home might sleep in a cage, maybe even uses the bathroom in the backyard.

T-H-A-T is a scene. i don’t think it is real life. Or at least not anyone’s typical D-A-I-L-Y life. And not my life for sure.

And if you dial it back to “just” a submissive, i think maybe a fantasy would possibly be of a 1950’s wife, wearing only heels and an apron to cook, clean, give foot massages, and …. well…..wait on her husband’s every need.

T-H-A-T is a scene also. Not my D-A-I-L-Y life there either.

So i guess you take out (most of) these hot-naked-sex scenes and put in a lot of “Yes Sir” and “No thank you Sir”, and a lot of respectful similar words… and T-H-A-T is my daily life.

i do a lot of “waiting on my husband’s needs” in a lot of “small” servitude tasks. Like …..

– when i see he is done eating dinner and just hasn’t quite gotten up yet to put the plate away, i take it from him and do it for him. And he thanks me and i say things like, “you are most welcome Sir”.

– And if his sleep apnea machine needs to have water refilled before bed, i do that too.

– And i try to be off the phone when i get home from work and talk to him.

– And i go to bed when he does.

None of these things are rules for me (ok, so “show respect” is, but these particular things aren’t specifically listed), but i do them anyway.

And T-H-I-S is my daily life….. typically fully clothed, indoors, not on a leash. Even if i’d think it hot to do those things, that’s the fantasy. 😉

Day 12: My submissiveness

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Day 12: “I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE KEYS…”Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Funny. Hmm. This is a challenge really.

i guess i find watching most porn funny. Most porn looks like it is SO staged. And most of it makes me laugh. (“Oh baby, yes, fuck me now…”)

And when i start laughing in the middle of sex when David is trying to use it as motivation for either of us is NOT cool.

And “…………

Hugs,

Marie

86 – out of town

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Our son is going out of town tomorrow for an overnight trip to the beach with friends. i hope Sir uses me to the best of his ability while our son is gone.

But it’s times like this that i get my hopes up, get all excited… get things in my own head (!!!) that are not in his. And i don’t exactly know how to tell him without topping from the bottom… but if i don’t find some way to tell him, i’ll likely end up being squirrelly-cranky by the end, which is likely to cause problems.

Pre-DD solutions……

And those “problems” in the past would have probably led to a fight. i can hear it in my head now….

David: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No, I didn’t tell you, but I assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when I dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why I was dressed (or not) the way I was.

David: I’m NOT a mind reader!

Me: And how exactly should I say, “hey, use me now?”

David: Just like that!

Me: Yes, but I wanted you to want me. Not me telling you to want (and use) me!

David: whatever. You are impossible to please!

(And now we use the silent treatment on one another for awhile and at some point apologize and it’s never discussed again. Leaving me disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat bitter that T-H-I-S wasn’t what I wanted at all!)

*** did you notice that David was not my Sir? Did you notice I was capitalized?

Post–DD solutions…..

Problems…. if i don’t find a way to tell him and he doesn’t think to use me and i do get squirrelly-crazy … this is how the problem would be solved:

Sir: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No Sir, i didn’t tell you, but i assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when i dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why i was dressed (or not) the way i was.

(Now to this point, it is exactly the same as before.. except now he’s my Sir and i am little)

Sir: So i have a few things to say and you will listen.

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: 1st, I am not a mind reader. 2nd, you know you are to dress sexy for me and in a way I like so that’s nothing new. 3rd, i have enjoyed seeing you in less clothing since it’s been unnecessary but I chose to look and enjoy in my way. As such, I have used you! And 4th and last, go assume the position because this assuming that you did, tell-me-after-the-fact how you feel, cranky attitude is never how we deal things now. If you’d found a way to N-O-T assume and to instead speak up earlier than now, this would not be ending this way. I’ll be there in a minute and you should be ready.

Me: Yes Sir

(Notice how he’s firmly in control, i am not, and the rules are pretty clear… and so are the consequences? And most importantly no fighting! And no lingering crankiness, grumpy, sulking ways.)

Back to now……

So knowing all this above… how do i tell him now to use me more than just for eye candy in the next 2-days rather than be sulky and lead to a red ass at the end … without topping from the bottom too? (i seriously struggle with this!)

Suggestions readily accepted…. but make it quick! (key is quick since this alone-time starts tomorrow!)

Hugs,

Marie

85 – My ass just shouldn’t gamble.

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Yeah, well, you guessed it… i did NOT win the double or nothing bet. My ass was sore in more ways than one yesterday!

The plug didn’t stay in… just started hurting so it came out. And i happen to think David was happy about it as he got to turn it a very bright shade of red. He said, “now the outside hurts as much as the inside! Don’t you wish you’d not gambled with your ass on the line?”

Uh yeah! Most definitely.

The double part was double the strength of his swing. It was 105 very strong smacks with the wooden paddle.

Sir seemed giddy when he said, “ok, it’s time!”

And i went to the bedroom and got into position. The wooden paddle is always placed (by me) in the small of my back for any spanking, per my instructions. He picked it up and said, “ready or not….” and the first swat hit my ass!

Ouch! No warm up was to be had!

And i started counting. It’s always hard to keep count, but it keeps me focused on something other than the pain!

My heels lifted off the floor. And he swiftly saw it and said, “put your heels back down.”.

Man this was a stupid bet on my part. i’ve never succeeded in wearing a plug that long…. what was i thinking?

Why 105? i have no idea…. but i counted. i don’t think he intended it to be 105, but when he was swinging away and he figured out i was counting (he doesn’t make me count out loud), i think it was then that he decided to stop at an “unexpected number”.

Because my ass was red and sore, i really wanted to lay on my stomach to sleep but that caused my pierced nipples to be sore. They are still tender and for 6-more weeks, David doesn’t get to touch them… healing process ya know!

Needless to say, i am extra tired tonight from not having slept much last night. At least i don’t have another spanking in store. i think i’ll try to avoid that this week! 😂

In the end though, i did gamble…. and everyone knows …. the house always wins!

Hugs,

Marie