Day 14: REAL-LIFE BDSM…How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
For me, my kinkiness is being submissive, and it is 24/7. Not “just” when having sex, which is where i think most of the fantasies come from.
In fact, i think most fantasies about D/s is specifically about slaves….and not “just a” submissive. Now i don’t want to get into an entire discussion of the differences between slave and submissive here, but suffice it to say (here) that i see a slave with a lot fewer choices than a submissive.
So slave fantasies, in my mind anyway, include stuff like having her walk naked through the streets, chained or leashed, and when at home might sleep in a cage, maybe even uses the bathroom in the backyard.
T-H-A-T is a scene. i don’t think it is real life. Or at least not anyone’s typical D-A-I-L-Y life. And not my life for sure.
And if you dial it back to “just” a submissive, i think maybe a fantasy would possibly be of a 1950’s wife, wearing only heels and an apron to cook, clean, give foot massages, and …. well…..wait on her husband’s every need.
T-H-A-T is a scene also. Not my D-A-I-L-Y life there either.
So i guess you take out (most of) these hot-naked-sex scenes and put in a lot of “Yes Sir” and “No thank you Sir”, and a lot of respectful similar words… and T-H-A-T is my daily life.
i do a lot of “waiting on my husband’s needs” in a lot of “small” servitude tasks. Like …..
– when i see he is done eating dinner and just hasn’t quite gotten up yet to put the plate away, i take it from him and do it for him. And he thanks me and i say things like, “you are most welcome Sir”.
– And if his sleep apnea machine needs to have water refilled before bed, i do that too.
– And i try to be off the phone when i get home from work and talk to him.
– And i go to bed when he does.
None of these things are rules for me (ok, so “show respect” is, but these particular things aren’t specifically listed), but i do them anyway.
And T-H-I-S is my daily life….. typically fully clothed, indoors, not on a leash. Even if i’d think it hot to do those things, that’s the fantasy. 😉