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Tag: trust

65 – Topless

Sir is determined to teach me to trust him. He says i don’t. And while i would love to argue with him, it’s a matter of opinion… and ultimately if that’s how he feels, well, it isn’t wrong. And i have no right to argue.

Today our microwave blew up. (Almost quite literally had a fire in our house, but it was contained inside the microwave. So all good! Oh and no, there was no aluminum inside. It happened while making popcorn.). But that’s when he said “we are going to buy a new one. Let’s go.”

And the two of us got in the car. Just us. No child. And within 1-mile of our house, he said… “take your top off”.

i am not allowed to wear a bra in his presence and only when “absolutely necessary” at all other times too. So he knew i had nothing on under my top.

i hesitated. He looked straight at me, raised his eyebrows and said, “did i stutter?”

i said, “No Sir,” and proceeded to remove my top. Quite slowly, but still making forward motion.

Broad daylight. Mid afternoon.

It made me nervous. i was antsy and shifting and he saw it. He said, “put your hands under your ass. Sit on them. And sit up tall. Proudly display yourself! Show me my boobs!”

i said, “yes Sir” and did so.

And that was when he rolled down the windows. For anyone & everyone to see who drove past. And he said, “Chin up. Smile. Look confident my sweetheart. I am, and you should be too!”

When we got to the store, i started to put my top back on. He said, “No. Leave it off. You can stay in the car while I get the microwave. I’ll return shortly.” And he left me in the parking lot, topless, wishing like hell i had another option – and knowing i didn’t!

And of course, a few people saw me. Thankfully no one i knew saw me! (He had parked near the edge of the lot where just a few cars were at, and had also rolled back up the windows, so not that many saw!)

Then on the way home, he told me to pinch my nipples and do not stop without permission, to which i had to beg for release. And in no time at all i was begging! After making me wait until he felt it was indeed time for a release, he allowed it. It was repeated periodically all the way home.

When we got home, he asked me if i felt sore. Of course, i did. He told me that was to be a reminder to trust him (more) in the future. i shouldn’t hesitate, question, or wonder if he was in charge.

That’s when he also continued saying i did good today, but trust has to be built more. That his role as HoH should be respected and … well… trusted. Then he ended with “be assured this would be the first test of more to come that would build the trust that he deserves. And the tests will continue until it seems the hesitation stops.”

i simply responded with “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

i know he deserves my unwavering respect. i know we have agreed he is in control and my only job is to submit. i can do this! Even if my body parts end up sore in the process!

(and in case you are truly wondering, NO that pic above is NOT me.)

Hugs,

Marie

56 – Confident Sir

i don’t typically write twice on the same day, but i am in awe of David today and felt the need to mention this now. He has grown in his confidence and he beams. He tells me things that he would not have before. He doesn’t ask as many questions so much as now he makes statements.

While i’ve grown in my deeper submission, he too has grown and developed as a stronger leader for me and our family. He has truly become my SIR.

But i won’t deny, it truly has been a process. We officially started DD almost two years ago. When we started, it was ME wanting it. i asked David rather slowly and tentatively. At first, David was more or less just going along with it. While he didn’t exactly say these words to me, i think he basically was thinking, “okay, it’s her latest and greatest kink for the bedroom. I’ll go along…” and he did.

But that’s just it. It wasn’t a kink (okay, maybe it IS…. but still!) just for the bedroom or a fad that would go away. i wanted this to be a new way of life and a new lifestyle to which we were committed to and would define our relationship. And slowlyyyyyyyy over these two years, i’ve seen him take on a true Dom personality that has REALLY culminated in the last few weeks, but especially the last couple of days.

i told you how in the fall we fell out of the DD lifestyle. Because i didn’t really think he liked it, that he was (still) just going along with it, and didn’t really “care” about it, i basically didn’t either. And because the fall season is always busy at our house with our son in high school, so… i just dropped it.

But coming up to Christmas – i missed it. i missed who we were. i hoped he would want to get it back. i had noticed we were always fighting about stupid stuff, i didn’t show him respect – in my actions, words, or thoughts – and well, things weren’t going well. So that’s when i texted him i miss spanking and he texted back, “Me too”.

With that response, THAT was when i realized for the first time that he truly had come to like the DD lifestyle and being my Dom. And i was equally excited … and sad. Excited because i had a chance to get back what i thought was lost and sad for having lost it in the first place.

From T-H-A-T day in January until now, he has started truly being in charge, telling me what to do, and disciplining when it’s needed. He has set new rules and enforced them too. And he is adamant about NOT missing maintenance either.

THIS time, it’s different. It is intentional on his part. Not just mine. And in the past 24-hours, he’s been more Dom-like than ever before.

First, he texted saying if i could go home early for maintenance, that would be preferable. So i did because i could. When i got home, he was eating a late afternoon meal and watching t.v. i greeted him cordially but i wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to do maintenance then, later, or what. So i asked him.

And his response was, “From now on, assume that when you come in the door on Friday after work, you are to……go straight to our bedroom, get completely naked, stand with your feet on the floor next to the bed, bent over at the waist. And on your back should rest the paddle. You shall wait until I am ready to come in and join you, however long that may be. Don’t make noise, don’t ask questions, and do NOT move from that position until after maintenance is complete – no matter HOW long you have to wait for me to arrive! Do I make myself clear?”

Wow. Okay then. That is without a doubt, THE most dominant thing he has EVER said to me. It was direct, clear, un-questioning and un-waivering.

“Yes Sir, it is very clear.”

And i turned and went to do as he said. Which then resulted in the most painful spanking to date. Without preamble. Without much notice. And definitely without asking me “if it’s okay, I’d like to….”, to which i was incredibly thrilled about!

That brings us to this morning….. when i told him that in my deeper submission thoughts…. that i want to implement a new rule about “what he puts in, only he can take out” he said, “okay.”

Hmm. His response wasn’t too excited or convincing. Maybe he doesn’t really think this is a good idea and this is just me “topping from the bottom”. Oh well, i said it and that’s all i can do for now.

i went on to say that i would NOT talk about it (“it” being whatever he put in), whine about it, beg for it to come out, or otherwise mention it. That i would trust that he would remember, not forget about me, and tell me when he felt it was time to come out. Again, he said, “okay”.

Geez, me and my big ideas.

And that’s when he left the house to go play golf. He texted me shortly afterward though and said, “I didn’t have time to put the purple metal plug in, but you need to do that now. Text me a pic that I can see it went in.”

Oh well, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea afterall…..

And i did as he requested…. at 9:00 a.m. this morning.

When i texted the pic, i asked him, “Does that make you happy?” (Genuine, not sarcastic). And then i went on to say that i see giving him the authority to decide if/ when it comes out as another sign of submission and it makes me happy.

And he wrote, “Yep and Good!”

Man of few words, but i did anticipate a little more than that too. This is really not my best idea. Well, i guess i’ll see how today goes. But i’ll leave it in and hope you don’t forget.

He got home from golf at 3:00 and he has not said ONE-SINGLE-WORD-ABOUT-THE-PLUG-ALL-DAY.

IT IS STILL IN. This is THE longest i have EVER worn a plug. And …. while it’s uncomfortable from this length of time in, it’s not “that bad”… but if he said take it out, i’d be all-too-happy to do so too!

But it made me wonder, “Did he forget?” So – i debated – but i worked up the courage to ask……

i said, “Sir, while i am NOT complaining or asking for relief because i said i wouldn’t do that, did you forget about the plug?”

He responded with an incredulous look and said, “NO, I did NOT forget. And why are you asking when you said you wouldn’t? I assume I don’t have to talk about it or confirm it is still in. Is it still in?”

“Yes Sir”

“Show me. Now.”

So i turned around, bent over, and pulled down my pants.

He said, “Looks great.”

THAT’s IT? AGAIN? …. i thought there should be more….

i said, “So do you want to touch it? Can it come out? Are you surprised i left it in?”

And he said, “You are asking a lot of questions. Do you want to be spanked?”

“No Sir”

“Okay, so where’s the trust you texted about? Do you NOT trust me to remember, to make good decisions and to tell you what I want?”

“I do”

“Then stop asking questions before I put even more bruises on your already bruised ass. And go away and quit asking… with the plug IN place!”

WOW. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. He is MY DOMINANT HUSBAND! i beamed.

i said, “Thank you Sir. i love this confident dominance you are showing me.”

And with that, he smiled and said, “Good! Go put on a thinner fabric, tighter fitting shirt, so I can see your nipples better. And plan to wear it to dinner tonight.”

i’m not allowed to wear a bra unless i’m at work in a shirt that requires it.

So i did.

And so here i sit – with a purple plug in my ass still and a form-fitting shirt, no bra and no panties, and preparing to go to dinner……. where people could see my nipples.

But i am confident that my husband is a CONFIDENT SIR. And he will NOT forget about me, he will beam when others look at my nipples, and i will be proud of who i am and who he’s become.

And i feel most confident that my latest kinky sex fad is now a permanent lifestyle that has changed my husband into my very confident and dominant husband who i call Sir!

Hugs,
Marie

35 – Moment of truth

If you read my last post, it ended with me headed to bed with a plug in the butt. While i’ve worn them before, many times for many hours, i haven’t done it overnight. And i wasn’t too sure i could do it.

And i was right. i went to lay down at 10:00. i read in my book (ebook.. does anyone read paper books anymore at all??) for about 30-minutes, while being distracted the entire time and not able to really relax or get comfortable.

Wearing a butt plug while standing upright is a significantly different feeling than laying flat on a bed, on your back, on your side, or on your tummy. Ok, i take that back… not on the tummy. i’ve been in that position before… i mean anyone doing ass play has had “something” in that hole while on the tummy. (Wink, wink!)

But i digress. So… i put the tablet down and proceeded to try to ignore this butt plug and go to sleep. And the more i tried, the less it seemed to be working.

At midnight, i took melatonin. At 1, i took another. At 2, i gave up. i took it out.

Got in bed and within 10-minutes was sound asleep.

When i awoke, i dressed and went to work before David was even awake. (He slept in, i wasn’t avoiding him!). And about 30-minutes later, i got a text. It read, “well?”

Moment of truth.

At this point, i KNEW i could lie and say “oh yeah, it stayed in.” Or, i could have said, “no, it slipped out while i was sleeping.” Either way, he would have never known.

i mean really, he literally would N-E-V-E-R know ….. unless i tell him.

What would you have said??

Hugs,

Marie