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Tag: submissive wife

185 – Sunday (Chastity) Fun day

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 185 – Sunday (Chastity) Fun day

i know that David doesn’t always read my posts, but sometimes he does too. He read my last post about (fictional) stress relief and he was kinda amused but i really think mostly annoyed.

No, we didn’t get into a fight. But his annoyance was real.

We go to church most Sundays. Frequently we drive separately though because David is apart of our church’s tech team and works on the live stream, camera switching duty crew. As such, he has to be there much earlier than the service start time, so we generally drive ourselves.

Well i was finishing that post when he was on his way to church and i sent him a link to it. i wanted him to see where my mind has been lately….. me realizing he has work-stress, i need to give him space, be a good submissive wife… and yet, feeling sex-needy too.

i think it’s easy to get distracted from ourselves and our relationships when work (aka: Real Life) gets in the way. i think this is part of why they say “making a marriage work is hard work.” It has to be intentional and you have to make time for it. Kinda like putting meetings or appointments on the calendar, you almost need to do the same thing with your spouse.

But that seems silly, right? To make an appointment with my husband to do…. what exactly? Watch tv? Eat dinner? Have sex?

Shouldn’t all those things “just happen naturally”?? And can “scheduled sex” be fun? Don’t you need to feel like it first?

Well…. yes and no. i mean, sure… it should happen naturally. But sometimes it just doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, it may need to be scheduled. Even scheduled sex can be fun… and at the very least, it can serve as a reminder of when you did “feel like it” naturally. And that remembrance trigger could cause the desire to want it to return too.

Oh don’t misunderstand, we have desires. We aren’t NEVER wanting sex or sexual relations. Heck, that’s pretty much the point of my last fiction post…. i have these desires but it’s not lining up with Sir’s desires, or time availability, and hampered by the stress he has at work too.

So I suppose that’s the other thing about it… you have to both feel like it at the exact same time too. And again, life gets in the way. Making marriages hard to maintain, without scheduling it on the calendar.

Well, that’s the thing about being a submissive wife… who happens to be feeling sexually needy… my job is to serve him. In the way that’s fulfilling to him. Remember that other post i did recently about that too? (Oh wait… i haven’t finished that one. Okay, sneak peek … the book “Real Service” i am reading is all about how a sub provides a servo e to the Dom, but only in ways and tasks that the Dom actually wants and desires. That post soon to be finished too!)

Now coming back to this Sunday morning, he read my fiction post when he got to church. While he’s on the tech team, and they do a run through, much of his duties include “making sure it all works fine.” Which pretty much means he has to set it up, sit back and wait to see if it works or doesn’t while all the musicians and pastors go about the practice they need too. So he has a lot of down time, and that’s when he read my sex-filled-post…. while at church. (Devious of me, right?)

Yeah, he kinda thought so too. He wasn’t happy that i have pointed out his stress (and not much time for me right now), and texted it to him while he’s at church no less. But then again, i doubt he was surprised either.

He texted me with, “I read this. You haven’t worn the chastity belt in awhile. I suspect you’ve gotten yourself hot and bothered while writing this post. You best not have caused yourself to orgasm without permission. If I find out you have, you’ll be punished. Have you?”

Uhmmmmmm. i am getting a bitter sweet answer to my (unintended) cry for attention………

He told me it seems i am “acting out in a passive-aggressive and unbecoming way.”

i have said before i probably should call myself a brat-type-submissive. i truly didn’t intend this to be that way, but as i stop and think about it, i think he’s right. (Ok, i know he’s right… but i don’t like being wrong. And i didn’t do it on purpose, so i don’t even want to admit it now either.)

The text continued, “You need to dress for the day and wear that chastity belt. Bring the key with you to church. I’ll hold onto it the rest of the day. I’ll decide when you can or should be released. Maybe it will be after I orgasm first though and given my stress level, I have no idea when that may happen!”

i don’t get sexual release. But i do get sexual attention. And it wasn’t a scheduled appointment either. And i probably do need a spanking to be reminded to be submissive while being reminded the bratting-way isn’t acceptable …. while also being reminded that submission is about my service to Sir in the way that is meaningful to him. Just saying.

i guess i have a long day ahead of me. And it’s now time to dress for church.

Hugs,

Marie

181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

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We got into a H-U-G-E fight yesterday afternoon. On Easter. Completely ruined the afternoon of an otherwise great Sunday. And the topic or reason for the fight…. was stupid. V-E-R-Y stupid!

i will tell you just how stupid……

Background first. We have a running phrase in my house that goes like this….. “when King Midas touches things, it turns to gold. When Marie touches things (with technology involved), it breaks.”

My computer has given me the “black screen of death” (that’s what i call it anyway) more times than i know. i have horned more computers (that break for NO reason) than anyone i know! My phone just randomly decides to do strange things too, like one day (recently) we upgraded our service provider plan. “All we have to do” is reboot the phone and it will take effect. Except when i rebooted my phone, the voice mail suddenly wouldn’t work… at all. Then i called the 800-help desk number and got it working. Until i hung up the phone and then my phone wouldn’t dial out even for a basic call! And the microwave broke when i was using it. The buttons just stopped working 2-months ago as i was pushing them. This is the same microwave that i blogged about last summer! It wasn’t even one-year-old! And….. and…. and i could go on, but you get the idea.

Well…. this past week my car had to go to the shop where they (apparently) had to disconnect the dashboard and after getting it back, all the (technology-related) settings were not set anymore, including my phone connecting to Bluetooth.

So David decided to reset all this for me yesterday afternoon. And when he told me this, he had my keys in hand and said, “let’s do this now.” And the fact he was going to do it “now” should’ve put my mind at ease (given my background about tech!), but instead… it sent my anxiety through the roof and to the next level.

He wanted me to go to the car and do it with him… THAT moment. Well, i wasn’t doing anything particular then, but i wasn’t mentally prepared to take on that tech battle either. (When i set the tech settings the first time, i had to read the manual! —— who reads a car manual with all 500-pages of it anyway?? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️. i had to… cuz i couldn’t figure out how to make the car not beep when… [fill in the blank]….. without reading it.)

i tried not to say anything. But then he said, “what? Are you afraid I’ll mess it up?”

i responded in truth…. “Yes.”

(When in reality, while that was how i was feeling overall… but it was more that “i was afraid WE would mess it up! And it gives me anxiety to do this…and i’m not mentally prepared for this… and and….”

And in that single word….. he and i proceeded to get into the biggest fight we’ve had in a long time. It escalated with us yelling things at each other that neither of us really meant and got to the point where he yelled, “I’m done! You are certifiably crazy!” And he got out a suitcase and started packing it to leave the house and go who-knows-where.

And in that moment, all i could really think was, “HOW did we get HERE? And why doesn’t he just say, ‘Assume the Position’ and spank me?”

And why didn’t he?

i think he was just THAT mad that he couldn’t. He would’ve ended up truly beating me of he had picked up the paddle. And our DD relationship….. to many people’s disbelief and have tried to argue with me on this blog and/or in emails to me… is NOT about beatings or abuse.

i probably should’ve let him leave…. and calm down… which he would’ve done. And he would’ve come back. But i wasn’t certain in that moment. i was doubting. And MORE anxiety gripped me.

Instead, i first told him how stupid it was that he was leaving. And i told him i suspected if he left, he wouldn’t come back or that we would never be the same. And when that didn’t exactly work, i eventually just (literally) clung to him …. and started crying and basically not allowing him to leave without dragging me with him.

(Yeah, i told you at the start… it was a DUMB fight. That escalated wayyyyyy beyond anything rational!)

But we did calm down. (He kinda didn’t have a choice when i was standing there arms around him, head dug into his chest, and crying….)

We are (still) living in the same house, slept in the same bed under the same roof, and all is “right” in my world again……

Mostly.

i haven’t gotten a spanking.

Yet.

But it’s probably needed.

And justified.

We shall see.

So….. Doms…… next time something seems “off” with your sub….. don’t go getting so angry that you threaten to leave your own home with suitcases in hand. Instead, tell her to Assume the Position, and spank her ass. Spank her soundly and hard enough to get the anxiety to subside…. and make her still go do the thing that needs to be done. Calmly. (Now to just say that to David… 😉)

Oh… and i’ll stop with the “keep calm” pics now… but seriously… it’s pretty appropriate for today’s blog post.. right??

Hugs,

Marie

177 – Craving submission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 177 – Craving submission

i have mentioned how i am a strong person outside our home. And i am. i wouldn’t say or call myself “Dominant” to the people outside our home on purpose because i wouldn’t necessarily say that is true. But maybe “normal” or “just like everyone else” is definitely true. And definitely more “dominant” outside my home than my “submission” inside the home.

In other words, dial up the dominant a notch …. or three, and dial down the submissive that same amount when i am outside our home (without David). That last part is important, because whenever I am with David i am the same submissive wife, regardless if i am inside or out. But sometimes that’s hard to do (be submissive outside the home) when i am with others AND David at the same time. But that may be inspiration for another post as well.

When i am outside our home, without David, maybe a little Dominant too. But i would define dominant as in …. the ordinary and normal ways of the world. At work, i have a job where lots of decisions are made, i direct a lot of people’s activities, and am asked for a lot of information….. and i do it all with complete confidence.

And then i go on “overload”. Too many questions, too many required decisions cause me to yearn for easy days, doubt seeps in, indecision starts to happen… and i start to overthink and then i do think, “no more! Time out!”

And i just want to go home…. and be a submissive wife!

i crave submission.

That happened yesterday. And when that happens, i go to my submissive mindset. i mentally withdraw from the world and go to my Submissive-self.

i will say it again….

i crave submission.

i start to find ways to get it. It feels a bit like an addiction …. or maybe a life-line is really a better way to describe it. It has a “i am going crazy here and need to escape to a good, safe place” feeling about it.

My safe place is my submissive wife mindset. It’s not a physical place, but a mental place. It is definitely the physical place of my home… but as mentioned above, it is also outside my home when i am with David.

i don’t do drugs of any kind, unless prescribed. And yet, in a mental-way, being submissive is my drug of choice. My addiction is being a submissive wife to my husband.

That’s usually when i come home and say stuff to David like, “i need maintenance.” Or something like that anyway.

Most of the time, he says “ok, let’s do it.” And i go assume the position to be spanked and then it releases the endorphins, in both of us really, to be calm and let the outside world be … well, ….outside.

This time i didn’t do that though. i didn’t ask for maintenance. i didn’t really get the release i was craving or needing.

W-H-Y?

Well, David has been really stressed out from work for a month or so now. He has a lot of work to be done, and his team isn’t getting it done, which means he has to pick up their slack. That means he is working more than usual and with more intensity and stress.

The stress at my job and me craving to submit, doesn’t mean i can come home and “demand” he manage me too. If i did demand for him to be my dominant, my Sir, pay attention to me, or even just spank the endorphins out…. i would probably call that “topping from the bottom.”

Topping from the Bottom isn’t really submissive at all, but rather telling him how to dominate and ultimately causing him to be submissive to me.

Yet…. it’s a tricky place too. i need to be able to have open communication about how i am feeling ….. and craving submission….. while not telling him what to do too.

This might be a time where i could “brat” too. And sometimes i have in the past. Meaning that I would do something bad to test or dare him to stand up and take action. To see how dominant he really is. To see if he will tolerate bad behaviors. But testing our loved ones isn’t a good way to act or a good place to be. While he might respond well, it could also set you both up for failure really.

So instead of doing those things….. and getting a much-over-due spanking (or discipline) …. i just acted like an adult and said, “i know it’s because we have both been stressed, but i am craving submission. And i hope you are craving dominance, because i’d like to amp it up again. To put it back where it belongs.” (With “it” being our relationship dynamic.)

He said, “I agree. We both need it.”

We have been a bit “removed” from our usual selves and withdrawn from one another lately because of our work demands. And i don’t even mean just our dynamic, but quite literally physically and mostly mentally, removed from one another. When we get overwhelmed with “anything” we have no more capacity for anything else to be added, so we block out that other thing. So lately the part that has been blocked out has been “us” and our dynamic.

It’s not all bad, as we haven’t been fighting or anything like that. But we haven’t been in our D/s typical home dynamic either…… which is why i haven’t written lately.

Besides stress of work, there hasn’t been much to write about! Not much inspiration to tell you about!

But i do have some fiction stories I my head that will probably make their way to this site soon too…. 😉

Anyway… after me nudging David back into being my dominant, and me telling him i am craving his dominant hand…. i suspect i may have more inspiration here quite soon again.

(And this coming week we are taking a 3-day road trip to do two official university tours with our son. It’s quite probable that the D/s dynamic outside our home may well be tested in full! So i may have even MORE inspiration to write about than i even know! Stay tuned!!).

Hugs,

Marie

176 – 2021 Texas Snowmaggedon is over!

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Today is Saturday. The temp is currently 28 here, with a projected high of 57 today. i am thankful for this week to be O-V-E-R and may it never return to my part of the world ever again!

There were a lot of little things that went wrong this week that added up to a lot of anxiety and stress for me. But in all honesty, overall my family faired well in the end.

Of course in the midst of any situation, good or bad, you don’t know how the story ends and you can get a lot more anxious than you need to be. And like everything, the more times you do something the more routine it becomes and the less stress you have from it.

Texans just don’t have experience with this much…… cold, snow, ice, busted pipes, cars that won’t start, clothes that aren’t thick enough, ability to drive in this weather, snow plows, plane de-icing machines, antifreeze, fireplaces, firewood………. the list could go on. So we reacted awful in the moment.

i have heard so many people, myself included, who have said, “i would rather have a hurricane than this,” just shows that practice does make perfect. In my lifetime, i can remember living through 3 very significant hurricane experiences, plus 3 more tropical storm-bad rain experiences. That amounts to one event about every 10-years. And this is the first time i have ever had this much cold-snow-ice events to live through.

But i realized somewhere in the middle of it all, that being grateful for what you have….. not yearning for what isn’t yours, can’t be right now, or is simply unattainable [all the way down to a cup of hot coffee] …… is a better way to live.

People talk about “when i have time” or “when i can afford it” all the time. And while there is an element of truth in that, for many of us that’s not really anything more than an excuse.

Soooo…… why am i rambling??? And what is the point of all this???

All to say, “normal” is good. My normal is a (Christian based) Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Yes, it includes a lot of discipline, including being spanked. i welcome authority and the consequences thereafter if the rules (that we both freely agreed to) are not followed.

Thankfully, i was not disciplined this week.

i did as i was instructed when it came to wrapping the pipes at the start, turning the water off, opening the spigots, waiting for the electricity to return, calling the natural gas company when we smelled it, getting the dog back inside when she escaped the front door and ran down the street like an escaped convict, getting the frozen poor dead bird out of the driveway, changing the battery in the fire alarm, getting the new battery in the car after it froze up and having to go to 4-places before finding one that was open and had batteries in stock, ensuring the phones were powered up, being understanding when food options were limited to what was not frozen and could be cooked solely on the stove, and (doing my very best) to keep a positive attitude about it all as much as possible.

So we even skipped maintenance yesterday too.

i am grateful. And thankful. And survived the Great Texas Snowmaggedon 2021! And may it never return!

Electricity… and my life…. are going back to normal…. starting now! And i couldn’t be more grateful!

Won’t deny… one of the best things about this week was i heard NO discussion about COVID, masks, or anything of this stupid pandemic! i got a break from that conversation for a few days at least.

(i told you… i’d be MUCH happier when the power came back on…. and the Texas heat is restored to its natural state! 😉)

Hugs,

Marie

174 – The Right generation is?

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In my last post, i made talk of the 1950’s housewife. How she would have (probably) been a submissive wife and received, “corporal punishment,” also known as spankings.

i have sometimes thought i was born in the wrong generation. i mean if spanking was common place then for them, maybe if i were apart of their generation that i would have fit in better than i do now. That generation as opposed to the actual generation that we live in now.

i wouldn’t have to wear a (figurative) mask or keep my home life a secret to anyone, because in that generation it wouldn’t have been a secret at all. i think. i really have no idea for sure if in the 1950’s it was all families who practiced disciplining of wives or not, or how much it was talked about or not, or how much it was actually common place really, but i feel sure it wasn’t frowned upon then (or seen as such a faux pas) as much as it is now.

i have visions of wives getting together for lunch and the conversation being maybe something like….

“So how has your week gone?”

And the response maybe being, “yeah, I really wasn’t very good this week because I (fill in the blank) , for which my husband was sure to correct that behavior in a hurry. My bottom is still sore from it and I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.”

And her friend saying, “yeah, I know what you mean as I had a similar week too. My bottom is still sore to sit on too. I earned a punishment because….”

i think in the 1950’s these types of conversations wouldn’t be a major big thing, or considered a kink, or a faux pas but rather just the way of life for (most) everyone. It was probably just common talk about any normal week gone by.

But could you imagine going to work now in this generation and your co-workers asking, “do anything exciting or interesting over the weekend?”

And you responding with, “yeah so I disrespected my husband and got turned over his knee. He was so mad he turned it beat red. How was your weekend?”

N-O-P-E! Not a fat chance of that ever happening!

So i don’t think i would have to wear a mask if i were living in the 1950’s-wife era, at least not about this topic anyway. And that last part, “about this topic” is where i give pause to this “longing to be a 1950’s generation wife”.

For that also gives way to stop and think about how that generation would NOT fit me in many other ways. i wouldn’t have the job that i do now if i were in the 50’s since i would’ve just been a housewife (NOT anything wrong with housewives, just noting differences in my current life and what my life would, be then). Far more women didn’t work then due to THAT being a faux pas. “No wife of mine will be working outside our home!” would have been a common phrase uttered by many a husbands in that generation.

i would be wearing dresses, heels, pantyhose, and make up every-single-day in the 1950’s, with touch-ups to make myself beautiful for him to arrive home too. (Oh my! That’s just too much for me every-single-day!)

And then the cooking, cleaning, and “put on a smile and don’t complain”, and “treat your husband like the king he is” type mentally make me wonder… were marriages in the 1950’s even real? It seems NOT!

And let’s not forget that i consider myself bisexual and we have been swingers too. THAT would’ve been a serious faux pas then! (Ok, so it’s still kinda one now too… but seriously, can you imagine how that would’ve been received then?!? It is at least “more” accepted now than it would have been then for sire.)

Ok, so maybe i am in the right generation after all. When you consider alllllll this together, i think God did indeed put me in the exact right generation after all.

i will be happy to wear my jeans—- to work —- and NOT cook ——- and just not talk about (with my one figurative mask on about) my sore bottom from Maintenance Friday!

What secrets do you hide beneath your figurative (or even literal!) masks? Inquiring minds want to know. 🤓

Hugs,

Marie