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49 – My Valentine maintenance session

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 49 – My Valentine maintenance session

Maintenance spankings really suck. In the moment anyway.

i asked for maintenance when we first started this lifestyle to ensure we stick to this Domestic Discipline lifestyle. i am committed and want to do this lifestyle…forever…. and in my sane, very-sober moments maintenance sounds really good.

We have maintenance every Friday. Without fail. Rain or shine. And we N-E-V-E-R miss. If for some reason…. apart from one another for (say) a work trip, illness, or guests in our home…. we do it on the first available and possible “make-up” day.

And today was no different. My butt is red and throbbing as i type this.

And Sir just asked me if i wanted session number 2 for the day! I declined. He smiled. He then said he loved me and Happy Valentine’s Day.

So for someone reading this thinking, “WHY would you submit to being spanked every-single-Friday?”…. i will tell you why….

It is a way to bond, connect with each other, spend quality time together, build up who we want to be together now and always, and ultimately… instill, and reinforce, that i am submissive and he is Dominant.

i yield to him my entire being, including my butt. It is an active choice. NOT something done to me against my will, but something i want to allow and encourage him to do. By encouraging David to spank me with my willingness and acceptance, it gives him the confidence that if i will submit now to this, when he makes other decisions for our family, i will also submit then too. …

And for the record, i am NEVER restrained and have every opportunity to resist or fight it, but i don’t. When i submit, he is rewarded with confidence and pride instilled in his mind that i yield all authority to him to run our marriage and family, and yes, that happens when i submit my physical body for a maintenance spanking.

So a maintenance spanking is more than just a spanking. It is a bonding experience, and a way of life for us.

But today, on Valentine’s Day, i wasn’t in the mood for it. In fact, i tried to talk David out of it. i said it’s Valentine’s, it won’t hurt if we skip one week, i have been really good…. and his response was, “NO. We will not skip even once because once turns into twice and three times and eventually never. And then we don’t live the lifestyle we both have committed to. So get over here and pull your pants down and get into position “

So… i did.

But in the moment… as that paddle is swinging and stinging my ass….it’s not very “good” at ALL. Despite wanting to live this lifestyle and having been the one to say i wanted these maintenance sessions, it’s definitely NOT good! No… it just plain hurts. And of course, that’s by design. And it’s effective. It grounds me. It reminds me who i am alone and who we are together.

And in the moment, i literally hold my breathe, waiting for the paddle to leave it’s mark, and i pray… yes pray. Oh i don’t pray what you might think i’d be praying at that moment… (Lord let this stop soon) but rather more something like this, “Lord bless our marriage. Bless David. Help me to be completely submissive. Help him to know i yield and accept the authority that you’ve given him to be the leader of our house. Help me to accept this spanking with grace and mercy.”

The longer the Spanking, the more difficult it is to stay focused on my prayers because… well…. it hurts. And i am being spanked.

Tonight, it was extra hard. To focus and the paddling. And i know that David knew this too because he asked me, “are you close to calling yellow?” He probably wanted it to be extra hard tonight, for some reason that he had and to which really didn’t matter. And i had to say “yes” and he just said, “yes…what?” i said, “yes Sir.”

So i probably needed a spanking… i have been sassy and forgetting to say Sir lately… obviously…..so… it did what it was supposed to… it reinforced that i am NOT in charge and i was reminded of that tonight.

Hugs, Marie

47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Domestic Discipline, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Punishment, Spanking, Submission, Submissive Wife, Wife Spanking. No Comments on 47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Most days, submission is easy. Some days…. not so.

SUBMISSION – it isn’t a difficult concept really.

RULES = FOLLOWED = REWARDS

RULES = NOT FOLLOWED = PUNISHMENTS

And the rules i have, just really aren’t a big deal. i mean, David is fair and reasonable. And he doesn’t demand much. In fact, if i were in charge, i’d have more rules and require more compliance… but that would lead to bigger rewards and especially more punishment too!

But i think, in some sense anyway, because David is sooooo very reasonable, i probably use that to my advantage. i don’t exactly think this through mind you. It’s not like, i’m over here going, “Hey, let me take advantage of Sir to my benefit and get what i want under the guise of submission.” i’m NOT thinking that what-so-ever! But maybe, on some level, that may be kinda-sorta-what’s happening – i dunno?!?!?!

So what am i specifically rambling about?!? Okay – here’s the message of the day….

David had to go out of the country for work for almost a week. And where we was at, is/ was 7 hours ahead of me. i tend to get sexually wound-up in the evenings, which was in the middle of the night where he was. i have a “RULE OF SUBMISSION” to ask permission to masturbate and orgasm. But HOW can i do that when he’s sleeping?!

Okay, you probably know what happened…..

Y-E-S – okay, i did it! Without permission. Twice. Okay, so maybe once was a ‘oops, i should have asked’ but the second time…. no excuse, right? well…… i happen to agree. But i felt like i ‘needed‘ it. There are times when i feel like i just HAVE to cum….RIGHT….NOW. And i don’t know how to control that. And when i couldn’t ask… well… i just let things happen. uncontrollable.

And the day before David came home, i confessed. He said very little. When i asked about what he was thinking or why he hadn’t said anything, his response was, “There’s nothing I can do from here. And when I get home, I will deal with this. Until then, we will not discuss it.”

Yikes.

Okay, i deserve it.

When he got home… my ass was turned VERY RED. i got a spanking that hurt-like-hell. We do have yellow (slow down) and red (STOP) emergency words, but i have NEVER used either one and i have ZERO plans to EVER do so. i figure if i ever get close to that trouble, i will use it, but honestly, i deserve the punishment at the time i get it. Because, again, i don’t really get into trouble much and when i do get in trouble, David is very reasonable. And again, i’d be much more harsh than he is if i were in control.

He made me stand in the corner. Naked. And wait.

And wait.

And when he came to the bedroom, he said, “Assume the position”. Which means i stand with feet on the floor, hands on the bed, and ready to be spanked. i did.

He got the paddle out. i could hear it. i cringed. But he couldn’t see my face because he’s behind me. And yet, i’m accepting. i know this is going to hurt.

And he hits my ass about 10 x’s all over. Warm up. Already it hurts and this is JUST a warm up.

And then he pulls back and paused. i cringed more as i knew it was about to start.

S-M-A-C-K. WOW. It came hard.

Again, and again and again. And it happened so many times i lost count. He doesn’t make me count. But i do. Somewhere around 25 i lost complete count and had to focus on not saying yellow. i didn’t want to say that at all. i knew it was earned fair-and-square.

And finally, when tears were in my eyes, he stopped.

When he asked me if i was regretting my actions, i had to stop and think. i knew the right answer was ‘yes’ and in THIs moment i was…..but frankly, when i get horny and feel like i’m not in control of my emotions, i would do it again. And again. Without asking. So i told him that i want to be regretful, but i don’t know that i am.

David decided that if i can’t help myself, maybe i need to be helped.

There’s preventative and detective type of punishment. Detective is after the fact getting punished. And then there’s preventative, as in, can’t get in trouble if you aren’t in that position in the first place.

So …. David told me i need preventative help…..

And now we are investigating and looking into locking female chastity belts. i am equally excited and fearful of this.

But so far – the ones we’ve found are SO DAMN EXPENSIVE! (HOLY CRAP!!!).

Anyone use or wear or buy these? Any you’d recommend? That are effective AND price-conscious?!

45 – New and Old Rules.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 45 – New and Old Rules.

After David and i talked a LOT, we started talking about what rules (or not) that we would have (or not). We aren’t officially formal like with a contract like some DD relationships are, but i know what’s expected. (i knew before too, but chose not to do it!). So we reestablished some old rules and created some new ones too.

Some of the old rules that we reestablished are:

  • No bra. (i’d started wearing it again. i mean, why not?!?)
  • No taking a (warm/ relaxing) bath without permission. (Ugh…. ok)
  • Refer to Sir as Sir. (not a problem. i rather missed this one)
  • Wear a corset to shape my body (i’d completely stopped this one because sometimes corsets aren’t comfortable at all)
  • Show respect at all times (of course, i’d unintentionally reverted to pre-DD style – see last post for more info really)
  • And … you guessed it …. NO MASTURBATION WITHOUT PERMISSION. (okay, i mean, THIS is the one that got me in trouble and caused all the trouble, so i KNEW this one was coming back!)

i decided to ask Sir, “Can i ask Why? i mean, i could see if you said no sometimes. But you don’t. And before when i didn’t ask, it was because i didn’t really think you cared enough to ever say no anyway.”

His answer, “sometimes i want you to know that you are MINE. And when you have to ask to touch yourself, it is forcing you to give up YOU and recognize – and respect – ME, our marriage, and my authority.”

Okay – i should have just asked the first time and not assumed so much or acted the way i did. i admit it. Now. Wish i hadn’t wasted 4-months figuring this out. But i guess this time off hasn’t been terrible either. NO not the best months of our marriage, but it was good for me. Because while i thought i wanted a DD relationship before… NOW I KNOW I DO!

And NOW i know there is not EVER any going back. I LOVE THIS MAN and the way we do this life, marriage, and DD relationship!

SO – a few NEW rules too….

  • NO PANTIES. EVER. (well this one will be a new experience!)
  • NO Pajamas either. (He’s never liked my soft, cotton, Mom-style PJ’s… and this too will be a new experience).
  • Dresses should be worn when possible. (Not ‘required’, but preferred. Because now there will be easy access with no bra and no panties on!)
  • Maintenance Spankings. Every Friday. (We technically had a rule about these before, but now they going to have a protocol that includes corner time and will ALWAYS be made up if missed for any reason… like our son/ holidays/ sickness/ etc… so my rear will hurt every weekend now)
  • And the biggest new thing…. a locking Chastity Belt. (for enforcing the last old rule above – NO MASTURBATION WITHOUT PERMISSION.

THIS is currently on order, been shipped, and expected to arrive at our house sometime soon…….

Image result for female chastity

Now i wonder what you are thinking. i certainly know what i was thinking….. “WHOA, what’s this about? WHY?” And then we talked about it. i’m not going to be locked in it 24/7, but rather to be worn at times when i need to be reminded that masturbation and orgasms are NOT my decision. That’s when i’ll be made to wear it. And should i decide i need to do so, it is better to lock myself into it and/or ask for it prior to making an error in judgement (aka: masturbating without permission!) than to be found out afterward. This is much more desirable than to choosing disobedience for the rules Sir has laid out, and made very clear.

So when it arrives, i’ll wear it for awhile. Not sure how long that is, but he will put it on and lock me in it and he will have the key. The only key.

Thankfully it has holes in it so i can use the bathroom without too much trouble really, but that may be even better to keep me locked up even longer without anyone ever knowing. (i’ll keep you posted what i think after wearing it for a bit).

In the end after thinking about it for a couple of days now, i’m actually good with this. Honestly, i think this is a good compromise. It gives me the ability to be disciplined without Sir having to do much, but it could be used for orgasm control too. i think it could be a good solution to forcing me to ask permission to touch myself. And it will cause me to recognize the authority he has in my life and what i’ve voluntarily given up.

And just looking at it, i’m kinda turned on and ready to have a new adventure with this new ‘rule’… and bringing back the old rules already just feel like i’m sliding into an old glove that fits oh-so-well!

So now – back to our normal. The way we do things fits us well. And i’ll tell you about the two spankings i’ve already gotten — maintenance really – in my next posts. But not tonight… you’ll have to wait. i know the spanking types will come back for that! 🙂

Hugs,

Marie

40 – Golf… Topless

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Okay, not R-E-A-L-L-Y topless… but it definitely WAS braless. While Sir didn’t say i HAD to be braless…. i decided to try it. Of my own accord.

David and i play golf together. He taught me how to play when we were dating, almost 20 years ago now. And while i love it, i don’t have much time for it. In fact, for the last several years, i have a multitude of reasons (excuses) not to play. But today, Sir said, “You WILL go play with me and some of my friends.”

He told his friends that he “told” me i was playing.. and frankly, he did. And they laughed and said, “yeah, and she probably likes getting spanked too!”.

How ironic … and little do they know!!! Ha! Maybe Sir told them. i dunno. It’s quite alright if he did. They probably think it’s just a kink. And of course, it is that… but it’s MORE than that. It’s our lifestyle! i somehow think every man dreams of a submissive wife that they can spank, make suck their cock, and get to walk around naked whenever they want….. okay, maybe that’s another post. Back to this one now…..

So the rule in fact for me is officially “no bra unless mon-fri, 8-5” (Work). But a week ago, i wasn’t good and didn’t adhere to that rule and got my bras taken away from me. i couldv’e gotten them back as of yesterday, but i didn’t ask and Sir didn’t offer. So i let it go.

And today, i wanted to ‘see’ what it would look and feel like. So i went braless. (my previous post tells you that if i were in charge, i would have MADE me go braless… check it out!)

Now maybe my boobs are just extra firm or extra in shape or not sensitive – but – it didn’t really seem that much different! Truthfully, i was a bit disappointed! If i’d had on pasties – you’d NEVER have known! (Of course, Sir’s friends probably loved seeing the nipples show through and having NO pasties in place- and i kinda think David did too, which made me love it too!!).

And you may be thinking, “Oh her boobs must be small.” NOPE. 38D is my size. So i’m NOT small. Not ginormous, but definitely NOT small.

So as of yesterday i’ve been without a bra for 7-consecutive days and today makes Day 8.

i’m beginning to think this is going to be my ‘new normal’. And i think that makes Sir happy. i haven’t asked for them back. Not even sure i want them back. Going out of the house braless isn’t even something i really think about now. i ….. “just do it”. (am i supposed to get Nike’s approval to say that? Well… you aren’t paying me, so i’m rolling with it! LOL).

Maybe i DO like braless-ness in the end. i did, then i didn’t, and now i do again. i think the bra is a security blanket of sorts for me. It allowed my breasts (specifically NIPPLES) to hide!

i’m officially braless 24/7 now and frankly, it feels liberating, freeing, and good! i may just adopt this permanently. Maybe there IS something to the “braless movement” afterall. And i wouldn’t have EVER given it a second thought if Sir hadn’t made me.

See – submission really IS a good thing!

(and on another note…. Sir and his friends are rather sassy on the golf course to one another. And since i was with them… i was too . i mean really, ‘when in Rome….’. But Sir noticed and wasn’t entirely impressed. Kept telling me to “Stop with the sass!” So now i’m waiting to see how serious – or remembering/ forgetful – he was! We shall see!).

Hugs ~

Marie

36 – Moment of truth – part 2

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 36 – Moment of truth – part 2

So i left you hanging a bit in the last post and i thank YOU for commenting. i was impressed/surprised at how male or female D or s, the consensus was all the same: tell the truth and do it now, on my own, without being prompted.

i was surprised because i expected someone to say the opposite or at least a “maybe I wouldn’t tell” kind of response. But 100% said “The Truth Will Set You Free.”

And that’s what i did too.

i told the truth.

What were my motives? Well, i’m a terrible liar. Always have been. Even my Mom immediately knew i was lying as a kid. So there’s no point really!

But mainly, i did it because my conscience was holding me accountable. i mean, really, i agreed to submit and obey. That doesn’t mean “sometimes” or “when it fits my agenda”, but always. And part of submission is for him being able to trust me. And me putting all my trust in him, that even when i screw up, i know it will be ok in the end…. even if it means punishment to get to “the end” of the situation.

But remember, i was at work and he was at home. And we were texting. So i told him via text.

His response?

“Hmm”

Yikes! This won’t be good. i can’t wait to get home… or maybe i can!

Then… a few hours later, just before noon, he texts and says he is going out of town today (instead of tomorrow, which was the original planned flight and i already knew about). He will be gone for the next 4-days. And because he has to leave for the airport before i will be home from work, he will stop by the office on his way to the airport.

Now he didn’t say “why” he’d be by my office, but i knew he wouldn’t do any discipline there either. So i didn’t quite know what would happen now with respect to this transgression.

He came by and greeted everyone (my office has 15 people), kissed me, and whispered in my ear, “be good while I’m gone. You did good to tell the truth, but that doesn’t erase the transgression. But being good in these days ahead just might save your ass when I get back too.”

And off he went.

Now you would think i would’ve been on best behavior… nope, i wasn’t as good as i should’ve been.

Let me tell you what i first did. He has set a “no bra” rule (except mon-fri, 8-5) for me (read prior posts for details). And the next day was Friday. So i had on a bra to go to work. Then i needed to return a dress at the mall and went straight there after work.

At 5:22, i got a text from David that simply read, “Proof”.

i KNEW that meant i had to send a pic of myself right then showing no bra on. Not necessarily a topless pic, if whatever shirt i was wearing would reveal nipples enough to show no bra is on.

But i was at the mall. So i told him the truth. (It will set me free… right!?) i told him that i didn’t take it off when leaving work and so i couldn’t provide proof. (At this point, i’m thinking, “what kind of dumb ass am i? Am i wanting to be spanked?” Because it really seems like it!)

He again texted, “hmm”.

Well among a few smaller things, these were now the things that were landing my ass in hot water.

And he came home tonight. And what happened next was NOT what i thought would happen. At all.

i’ll leave you there for now. i’ll tell you about it in the next post.😋

Hugs,

Marie