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218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Written by Marie on . Posted in Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Submission, Submissive Wife. No Comments on 218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Having no clothing on is such an exposed feeling. There’s nowhere to hide, all your skin flaws on display, and you have a choice of standing tall and being proud….. or cowering.

Lately i decided to revisit the being naked thing. i tried it once before but for a variety of reasons including, me getting too cold, our son, practicality, and my preference, it didn’t last too long. But in the past two weeks, i’ve been trying it again. And i am starting to really love it.

i choose to stand tall. (And not to cower.. or to cover!)

When i first started it, it was just to sleep. i have slowly extended that timing to include morning coffee wake up time. Last night being naked started earlier in the evening with time in the hot tub, and just continued through tv time and sleeping.

When i first started experimenting with it, i simply pretended i had clothes on. Even though i didn’t.

i can tell you Sir loved it. He loved seeing every bit of me at the blink of his eye. He held my boobs and squeezed my nipples, his favorite, frequently. He also slapped at my ass and felt me up to see how wet i was, or to make me wetter!

That was in the beginning of it. Now though, and like last night, it wasn’t even really (much) of a thing. He had clothes on, i did not, and we sat on the couch and watched tv as if it were very completely normal activities. Of which, it is now becoming normal.

And at some point along the way, it has became a mental relief for me. Being naked has become liberating. To be free and have nothing on suddenly became easy and my preferred go-to. i am now seeking out opportunities to be naked.

And then i put the clothes back on. The weekend comes to an end, our son materializes (let me tell you that Seniors in HS don’t materialize often!), the door bell rings, or some other reality event occurs…. and it’s time to go back to the world… with clothes on.

i will always wear my clothes proudly, when it’s required too though. And i’ll look for the first opportunity to shed them!

i now chose to sleep naked all the time too as clothes are absolutely not required to sleep in since our teen son never just materializes to climb in bed with Mommy and Daddy at all hours of the night anymore the way he used to when he was younger.

Now i look forward to the time i go to our room and am able to undress. It is wonderful to have your whole body touch the sheets freely and to not ever be tangled in cloth as you turn from side to side.

Nudists say it’s not sexual to be naked. And maybe in some settings that’s true, but it’s not true for me and Sir. i think when everyone is naked, say at a nudist resort or at a kink party, it might not be sexual. But all other times: it is. It is VERY Sexual!

While we all have the same parts as the next person of our same gender (okay, seriously there’s only TWO options… pick one and identify already! Just saying!), when it is all covered up it is easily ignored. But when it is exposed, our eyes dart straight to the previously forbidden sections and it is attractive! To our eyes, to our brain, and especially then our own private parts that come awake, it all becomes very sexual! At least until naked and exposed is the norm, in which case, no one cares.

When i am naked, i am the only one. Sir wears whatever he wants and that’s understandable, but i wear what i want and that i am finding he prefers…. which is nothing. And that’s understandable too.

To have your beautiful submissive wife strip off her clothes simply because you told her to, is indeed all very sexual.

Because we are still in NO-orgasm-VEMBER, he has been touching me just enough to get me to the very edge of orgasm. And then he stops. Of course, me being naked a lot makes this that much simpler too.

When we were in the hot tub earlier, he finger fucked me three different times. When i get near orgasm, i subconsciously bite my bottom lip. When i did it in the hot tub, he looked at me very sternly and said, “NO orgasm!” And he kept going.

It was NOT long and i looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Please Sir….” (with the rest being implied…”Can i cum?”). He again did not stop, but rather amped it up further by sticking a finger in my back hole along with another finger in my front hole and said, “Absolutely NOT! Do NOT orgasm!”

And when i then begged, “Please Sir may i cum? And if not, would you please stop?”

He responded with, “ok. I’ll stop. Because you asked.” And he laughed. i did not.

He repeated variations of this twice more. Where he finger fucked me until i begged him to stop.

i won’t lie, my ability to listen to his words (NO ORGASM!) and deny the release is becoming stronger than ever. Soon, or maybe already now, i will be to the place where i can cum (or NOT) on his command. i wonder if this is his goal or a side bonus that has come along the way!

i smiled at him and he laughed. i knew he was enjoying playing with me — both physically AND mentally —- and for that reason, i enjoyed it too. Although i can’t deny, i was seriously frustrated at my own sexual denial, i was very happy that he was happy.

Not long after, we got out of the tub and dried off. He dressed. i did not. And we watched tv, as casually as ever.

When it came time for bed, he said, “do you need to be locked up tonight?”

i responded, “if you think so, then yes.”

He said, “now that I’ve played with you to the edge and we are back home again, do you think you can control yourself tonight?”

i said, “yes.”

He said, “ok. Then let’s try it. But remember, you are NOT allowed to orgasm and because of that, it’s good if you just don’t touch it at all too.”

“Yes Sir.”

So no belt tonight. But still in chastity. Let’s face it, chastity doesn’t have to include a physical belt (although it makes it mentally easier when one does exist!)

And truthfully it is good. Both the belt AND being naked is good. i like both of them now. It makes my Sir happy and i am starting to see a change in my thoughts from “I MUST ORGASM” turning into “i must do things that make him smile.”

So if he’s happy, then i am too! i chose joy! i chose to stand tall, not to cower OR to cover (except when required for life or told to cover my puss with chastity!)

Here’s to being naked much of the time…. And being in a chastity belt a lot too… and to completing two full weeks of NO-orgasm-vember … while being happy!

[While in the hot tub, Sir said, “yah know, I rather like the way you are more attentive now when you aren’t orgasming all the time. I’m thinking another month may be good. Maybe waiting to give you an O until Christmas would be an excellent idea……”. And my response?? i said, “if you think it would be good, then i am on board with your decision.” And we both knew i meant it. A mere 14-days ago i would NOT have said it, let alone meant it! Time will tell. But i truly am getting to be OK with the journey, not just the destination!]

Hugs,

Marie

216 – Change…. Is a happening.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 216 – Change…. Is a happening.

Change. A single word that tends to cause a lot of people a lot of strife. i try hard to embrace it. A friend once told me to substitute the words “process improvement” for the word “change,” BECAUSE no one ever makes a “change” for the worse only for the better! Sometimes there are unintentional negative consequences when change occurs, but it’s never the goal either.

Well…. In the space of (basically) a week, i’ve had a lot of process improvement with great results!

When i receive comments on a particular post (or two), i tend to re-read the actual post as well. i especially do this when the original post is a bit older, like some of my original stuff 2-3 years ago now. But on occasion, i reread the newer stuff too. That’s usually when i find typos and correct them, or i add links to sites or posts, but i try NOT to amend or adjust the original content i made as it was how i thought or felt at the time of the post. And it makes for interesting reflections for me now too, to see the journey and plot twists along the way.

So when KDPierre posted a comment to me on my post that i made JUST ONE WEEK AGO, where i declared myself a sex addict in need of rehab (and chastity), i decided to reread the entire post again. i read the desperation now that i felt then. Now i have a renewed (detoxed!) presence of mind that i did not possess then. The only things I knew then were:

1) i want to orgasm REALLY badly,

2) i was (almost) wiling to do anything to get it,

3) that i was struggling to be submissive, yet desperately wanted to be,

4) wanted to still be a pleasing submissive wife to my Dominant Sir.

i was aware enough to know i needed to lock my sex out of my control to help me remain compliant, as i detoxed out of my selfish masturbating ways.

Now ….. just 7-days later, i realize just how far i’ve come in my sex-detox process in such a few short days, as we are STILL in NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

Change. Sometimes it is quick and sometimes it is not. Overall, i’d say this change has been quick. Not saying i am all the way there, but absolutely in a better place today over where i was last week too! (Wondering already what next week’s improvement will look like!)

While i’d love to orgasm still, i no longer want to move mountains to get it. i no longer think i have to have it. And i especially don’t think i have to have it RIGHT NOW! Instead, my focus has shifted away from me and onto my Sir. While admittedly, my focus should have been on him all along, somewhere along the way it became less about him and rather more about me, at least as it relates to sex and sexual pleasure. And until this orgasm control denial started and i experienced that extreme withdrawal, i didn’t even realize it!

What i realize now is just how badly NO-vember was needed! BEFORE NO-vember started, when i asked to suck his cock, i had ulterior motives. i was doing it because i wanted to get him hard, ride his cock, and get to my own orgasmic pleasure. While all of my actions got him to a happy ending also, my motives were really rather selfish in that i was doing it for me and justifying it in the process by telling myself it was making him happy.

Last night, however, we were laying in bed watching tv. Specifically we were watching college football. Absolutely nothing sexual or porn-like, when i asked him if i could suck his cock. i genuinely wanted to feel his cock getting hard in my mouth but really for no selfish reason at all. If he was wanting it, i wanted to get him off to really give him the sexual pleasure and release he deserves.

He was skeptical. He looked at me and said, “you aren’t going to be allowed to ride my cock. And you can’t get the orgasm that it seems you are after. So if you want to do this just to get what you want, it’s not going to happen!”

It became apparent to me then that he also has thought i have been selfish in my sexual actions. But last night, i genuinely did NOT want to orgasm (okay, i did, but it was NOT my driving motivation! ) but rather to get him to a happy place and for me to service him the way he deserved too.

i realized that he hasn’t been able to have sex with me this entire No-vember because he didn’t think i had enough self control to be penetrated without orgasming in the process. Sadly, a week ago, he was dead on accurate. Now though, while i can’t say how long i’d successfully hold out without having to ask him to stop or pull out, i could do it.

He allowed me to suck his cock while he watched football. i told him before it started to “tell me when you want me to stop or you orgasm, whichever comes first.”

He said ok and i positioned myself between his legs and began to suck him hard. i played tongue twirling games, then changed up the pattern, and used my hands along with my mouth a bit too. That’s when he grabbed the back of my head and pressed himself deep in my mouth, and then started pulling my hair to lift me back off again. He started to fuck my mouth up and down and faster and faster.

When we were done, he told me to show him my pussy. He wanted to see just how wet it was.

i responded with, “Yes Sir” and did as he told me to.

i already knew i was dripping wet, and when his fingers touched me and found how slick i was he smiled and commented about it. As he began to fondle my clit, he looked me in the eye and asked me, “and how much further can you go before you ask to orgasm??”

He had me stand there and he played with me until i begged him to “stop now Sir, or else i will go over the edge and orgasm.” To which he did stop.

When i started to get in bed on my side, he said, “how did that feel?”

i spoke truth when my response was, “simply amazing Sir! i hope you feel the same. My ultimate hope is that you can eventually feel as if you can use my holes to your pleasure without thinking i can’t control my orgasms enough too.”

He smiled and said, “I can see that you are getting there now, as you pleasured me tonight without you becoming so needy to get your own orgasm in the process. But let’s not tempt you beyond your limits either. You probably need to be locked up tonight, don’t you think?”

While i was proud of what i was able to accomplish…. Focus on HIM and NOT on me!!! ….. i was already thinking about how far can i test myself without it being just too much too!

So i said, “i have to agree Sir.” And i went and voluntarily locked myself up for a cozy night with Glory in her place and the keys were handed to my Sir.

All this to say ….. detox hasn’t been easy, but it is happening. My process is improving. My focus is becoming redirected away from me and onto David. This denial has been good. While I didn’t want to have to sleep in a chastity belt to keep myself from touching myself.. again…. this week of night time lock up has been good.

i won’t lie, i would orgasm today if he’d allow me to. But i also accept that it will not be allowed either. i hope that even when i am allowed to, that it is followed up with times of not being allowed to again also.

i don’t want to end up back where i was. i know this change, or process improvement, is good in the end. And it needs to remain in place.

When KD Pierre posted his comment, i saw he has a blog spot of his own, and i read some of his posts and specifically the one he mentioned in his post to me from December 2020. It’s there that he talked about the benefits of orgasm control/denial. That you never lose the desire to O, but when it’s controlled by another, you learn to appreciate it that much more. You learn how to be attentive to the one you serve and to be an even-better submissive. T-H-I-S is so true for me!

i need to maintain my focus on my Sir and his pleasure, respect the rules, and be grateful for the O’s that are given instead of pouting and/or becoming resentful of the ones i think i should be entitled to… after all, as i also wrote about just yesterday….. the O is a gift to be thankful for!

Hugs,

Marie

215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Forced Orgasm, Orgasm Control, Submission. No Comments on 215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

My 50th birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. November 25. Next week. Fast approaching. In the month of NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

It’s unclear and Sir is still undecided if i will be allowed to orgasm on my birthday or not.

Last week we were talking about what gifts i would like to receive for my birthday. My immediate response was, “An explosive orgasm.”

To which he responded, “what else?”

i said, “a new purse please Sir.”

And he said, “A new purse it shall be.”

When i asked, “what about the orgasm?” his response was, “I’m undecided about that. I asked what gifts you’d like to receive, and your orgasm is definitely a gift I could give, but then again… what month still remains on the calendar?”

At first i wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not but something told me i was supposed to respond, so i said, “November Sir.”

And his only word in response was, “E-X-A-C-T-L-Y.”

And that was the end of that discussion.

That will be the last we will discuss that. i am certain. And that’s ok. The gift of orgasm is indeed his to give, and i will wait until it is allowed. While it has now been TWO WEEKS since my last O, i accept it isn’t up to me when the next one happens.

i won’t lie, because it’s officially still NO-orgasm-vember, i kinda do NOT want David to allow it. But on the flip side, it IS my birthday and i only turn 50 ONCE, so i really DO want it! (And did i already mention….it’s already been TWO-WHOLE-WEEKS since my last O. And i don’t remember the last time i went this long……. Like ever! And still almost another week…. Geez!)

If you think about it, your sexual pleasure and happiness truly IS a gift from your partner, and isn’t something you should feel entitled to. Always. In all sexual relationships, including vanilla ones.

But of course in most relationships, if you don’t get it from your partner, you seek it elsewhere…. By your own masturbating hand OR another partner OR both., because you feel entitled to it.

Admittedly, sometimes i can be the same way. But most of the time, i do indeed see it as a GIFT. (And after more than two weeks, it will be a BIG gift when i get to feel that pleasure again!)

What would YOU do if you were my Sir? Would you allow me to orgasm on my 50th or no??!!?

i thought of what i think is the perfect compromise…. (And i already told Sir about this, to which he laughed.. cuz he knows me THAT well!)

i suggested he make me wear Glory. And he makes me suck him hard. After which, he uses my ass hole to his pleasure. (There’s a big hole through the belt that allows him/me/anyone all access to that hole).

i suggested he fuck me hard and fast with that back hole, while i am on all 4’s. Neither of us touch my clit or pussy as it would be all locked up nice and tight!

But….

If i can orgasm without being touched AND while being locked in chastity then i can do so. Otherwise, no!

As i said before… he laughed. He knows i’d orgasm. Easily. Especially now when i am SO much in heat and need it!

He then said, “nice try!”

He then said, “by the time I allow you to orgasm, you could likely cum on my command without touching you anywhere at all!”

He THEN added, “you do realize we didn’t start this No-orgasm-vember on the first? You do realize I could chose to extend this into December in order to get the full 30-days I feel I am entitled to receive?” (There’s that word “entitled” again! But in this case, i think he IS entitled to use the word and to feel the emotion. i willingly submit to him, making things like my O fall under his purview!)

All this makes me think NO, i will NOT be orgasming on Thanksgiving…… aka, my 50th birthday!

And maybe not for awhile into December too!

So i’ll ask it again… if YOU held the gift of my orgasm in the palm of your hand, would you give it to me on:

A) Nov 25, my 50th birthday

B) Nov30, end of No-vember

C) Dec 6th, officially 30-days from the last O, OR

D) some other date at your discretion, to keep me guessing

???

Hugs,

Marie

213 – Glory saved me from myself.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 213 – Glory saved me from myself.

Night five in chastity started withOUT chastity. Are you surprised?

As you know now, i have named my belt. It feels more personal than just saying, “chastity belt.” She is named Glory. (Maybe i will go into more detail on another post about how that name came up to me, but also why i feel it is really perfect too! But not now…. Today is about Day 5 of continuous chastity, day 10 of NO-orgasm, NO-vember. (No orgasm didn’t start until Nov 6th, which begs the question if this orgasm denial will end on Dec 1… or be extended to Dec 6… to say it was a “full month” of denial…. More on that as the month unfolds!)

David and i were heading toward the bedtime hour by doing the usual evening routine activities, including brushing teeth, face, etc

David sleeps in lounge PJ shorts … because he can. i sleep nude… because i should. His body is his and my body is his. i am his to see, touch, or play with anytime he wants, so i am made available to him. Usually this works well, but in times of intentional orgasm denial, not so much.

THIS is the longest i have EVER been denied. i do not EVER remember going this long without an orgasm in much of my adult life! i have always had a sexual appetite and whether David has touched me or i touched me, i am touched a LOT.

In fact…..

i am a sex addict! And i think that is a GOOD thing. Wanting to flirt, have sex, or please my Sir is a GOOD thing….. (wait…i realize i am about to go down a squirrel trail and this could be an excellent start for another post, so i will stop here and get back on track!)

So… i am USUALLY touched a lot. But as you are well aware now… i am in the middle of NO-vember…. Meaning, NO orgasms in this month at ALL for me by my touch, David’s touch, or ANYONE else for that matter!

This is way harder than i thought it would be! But i am determined to do it. i won’t fail…. i just CAN’T. If i do fail, i will sorely be disappointed in myself, and i don’t even really want to think about what David will think or what he would do for punishment too! His disappointment would be too overwhelming for me! i would be depressed and beyond sad if i fail. So this challenge is good for me!

As i climbed into our bed, David said, “I see boobs!”

He always sees them at night, but by the fact he commented on them told me he was particularly attracted to them at that moment. (Or maybe he wasn’t, but used it as an opportunity to test me! Just because MY orgasms are denied, doesn’t mean his are in any way, form, fashion deterred!)

So i leaned in close, where his mouth immediately covered up my entire nipple and sucked on it. He grabbed my other one with his hand and rubbed it hard too.

And almost as quickly as it started, it stopped. He let go, laid his head on the pillow, and said, “let’s see if you can go tonight without chastity. You need to be able to do this on your own sometimes too.”

In all honesty, i was grateful he thought i didn’t need it as i had NO desire to sleep with Glory! At ALL! i had already been wrestling with it in my mind all evening long about how i did NOT want her hugging on me and i did NOT want to feel her hard steel against me. i was craving the soft touch of the sheets and to just feel a kinder, gentler love. i just needed a night’s break.

So i was relieved with his words! i smiled and said to David, “Yes! i was thinking that i didn’t need Glory too Sir. This will be good.”

And it was. For awhile.

We read, got sleepy, and then we turned out the lights and fell asleep quickly. i was happy and feeling loved.

Until i wasn’t.

i woke up at 2:30a. W-I-D-E awake. Laying on my back, with complete awareness of how the sheets were touching my pussy. i felt how good it felt when i just moved a millimeter in any direction, and the sheets rubbed against me in the softest way.

i told myself to ignore all that and go back to sleep. i tried. i tossed and turned, fluffed the pillow, switched up my positioning and the covers. It wasn’t working.

i decided to turn. onto my side and put a pillow between my legs to (kinda) limit access (but also the chiropractor says this is good to keep your back aligned too). But that pillow! Oh my! It felt SO good on my clit! Once again after trying to find sleep and failing, i found myself starting to arch my back and my pelvis…. humping the pillow.

i stopped, removed the pillow, and moved back to my back. i let my legs flop open and pulled the sheets outward, so it was taut and tucked it under my legs so that just my knees were touching it. It effectively made a tent over my lower half.

And then i started thinking about sex… and was having (awake-fantasy-dreams) about different sexual positions, activities, toys, and people touching me. i tried to distract myself saying, “Think of other things!”

Think about things like… uhm… thanksgiving …and … my birthday. Around the corner. And what we will be doing…. Which lead to thoughts of, “yeah you know what you’ll be doing… and what you will NOT be doing. You won’t be coming!”

THAT is when i reached down and touched my clit. i rubbed it. My cunt was sloppy slick in a matter of 5-seconds flat. i felt it dripping out of me. And i knew i HAD to stop.

I DID NOT ORGASM. I STOPPED. I ONLY JUST EDGED.

My mind continued on, “You won’t have an orgy like you wrote about before over a year ago. You won’t have all these hands and cocks and even other pussies all around you getting happy using your holes.”

AND THAT IS WHEN I TOUCHED MYSELF AGAIN. i said, “a little more edging is good for me. i didn’t get to THE edge (of orgasm) before. So getting to theedge is good for me. i won’t go over the edge. i can stop!!…..”

AND I DID. STOP. I DID NOT ORGASM. BUT I ALMOST DID. i SO did NOT want to stop. But i (thankfully!) did.

And my mind continued… “only if you are lucky will Sir even allow your pussy to be touched and orgasm because of course…. You poor, poor little girl… your birthday is in the month of NO-vember. Do you think that your Sir should relent and allow you to cum JUST because it is your birthday?”

AND I DID IT AGAIN. I TOUCHED THAT NEEDY PUSSY. AND AGAIN….I DID NOT ORGASM.

And …. My mind Continued….. “What’s a needy little cunt to do when it can’t be touched all the way to pleasure whenever it wants to? Will you be a brat and pout or accept this denial like the good submissive girl you are… even on your birthday?? And won’t you be THANKFUl for it too? Won’t you realize and appreciate how much you are loved?”

THE ENTIRE TIME, MY FINGER SWIRLED MY CLIT. PLAYED WITH MY OPENING. PRESSED A FINGER INSIDE AND PULLED OUT AGAIN.

ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!

I HAVE TO STOP. I CAN-NOT-CUM. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT ALLOWED!

i then heard my rational brain kick in and i said, “GET UP. GO GET GLORY. YOU NEED HELP!“

Then i even tried to argue with myself, “but if i have the key, how will that be effective? i can pull her into place, but what’s the point knowing i can use the key (since Sir is asleep and i can’t give him the key for safekeeping.)” That’s when it came to me. i knew the solution.

i went to the closet, laid down on the floor, and strapped myself in her. i am getting to be so close with my chastity belt, i can quite literally strap myself in without lights and only using my touch! (Strapping in is a matter of: straddle the three parts – belt around each hip and metal between my legs; attach one side of the belt to the middle metal part that goes through my legs; hold it in place while strapping on the other side of the belt; put the metal heart-covering through the TWO holes on the front that hold it and the three straps in their place; hold all of this in place to attach the lock over top; twist it to fit securely and lock it closed. And hand over the keys. Quite a bit to do in the dark without eyes, but rather only hands. But i did it, pretty swiftly too actually! i admit, i even surprised myself!)

i grabbed up the keys, went into our bedroom, and on the dresser is a glass bowl that i keep all my jewelry. i softly placed the key in the bowl in order to limit the “clank” sound that was inevitable. i KNEW as it mixed in with the other metal jewels, i’d not be able to lay my hands on it too easily if i wanted to in the dark. So this limited my ability to easily retrieve it back up again. i also knew if i did try, it would make a LOT of noise and probably wake Sir in the process, where i’d have been asked, “what are you doing?” NOT a question i’d want to have to answer at all. Besides, i sorely needed SLEEP!

So i got back in bed. On my back. Legs spread wide. Without ANY access.

ACCESS DENIED!

AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT!

The rational brain told myself, “There! THIS is what you need! You want to succeed at NO-vember and you have the tools to do it. Use your tools wisely. Work smarter, not harder. Now go to sleep!”

And i did.

While i am unsure how Sir will respond this morning to my obvious weaknesses and clear need for Glory to be wrapped around my sex, i succeeded in thinking rationally, getting much needed sleep, AND NO-orgasm-vember. While not exactly what Sir (or i) had in mind at the time we first closed our eyes, i DID succeed in NO orgasms! i am still on the track i should be!

i suspect the rest of the month… i will have night after night of being locked from start to finish with Glory in her rightful place and i am OK with that. In fact, i think i need it. i just hope i don’t have to try (and probably fail!) anymore alone. Glory really does have my best interest at heart! So why not just let her do her job?!

(But here’s to hoping these sexual cravings subside too!)

Hugs,

Marie

211 – The Honor System

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Orgasm Control, Submission. No Comments on 211 – The Honor System

i am well aware that you are probably getting tired of hearing about me and my chastity belt. But, it’s a very real source of my frustration right now and it’s the ONLY thing i seem to focus on, which means it’s the only thing i want to talk about too!

So bear with me…. i actually have a few other posts almost ready to publish, as i frequently start them whenever inspiration hits. Of course, until it’s done, i don’t hit “publish” for you to see. And right now, i’m not able to concentrate long enough on any of them to actually finish those for you to see. So… you are seeing “Me and My BFF Chastity” now instead.

Because i am SO close to my belt now .. physically and mentally … i have actually been trying to think of a good name for her. i mean, saying, “my chastity belt” is a mouth full and seems rather disconnected. i think i should adopt a more personal acceptance with her and become better friends with her. She does have my best interest at heart: staying out of trouble with Sir!

To date, no good names have come to mind. Suggestions?

As i was nearing bedtime, i asked Sir if i could go soak in a warm bath. i ALWAYS have to ask for this luxury. That’s been a rule for a long time now because as i lay flat, naked, relaxing in the water, i lose all will power. ALWAYS have and probably ALWAYS will!

i lie there floating and stare down at my sex. i watch as the water rises up between my legs and touches my pussy, to eventually rise up further and top over my boobs.

i lie there playing games with myself and the water. As the tub is filling, i move up and down to see if i can make the water touch my clit sooner than it already will as the added movement of the water creates a natural stimulation there and i watch as my clit swells.

Then my tits get cold, waiting for the water to rise enough to warm them, so i tickle my nipples until they protrude, generating more natural blood flow there too.

This is when i tell myself to STOP touching. And i usually do, but not always. Once as i was NOT stopping, Sir walked in on me where he moved with such stealth that i didn’t hear him. So i didn’t stop even in his presence. And THAT is why i have to ask permission to soak in the tub every-single-time now.

While it wasn’t specifically said then, but we both know it is true, Sir now doesn’t trust me to take baths without his knowledge and he usually decides to randomly walk in when I am in the tub to “check” on me. Granted, i could probably rub out an Orgasm in between his visits, but a ruined one would be worse than not even trying, and he mixes it up just enough that i can never be sure. So i am kept in check.

Soooooo that’s the back story that you needed for me to tell you about today’s events……..

i had sore muscles and i wanted to relax my mind too while soaking in an epsom salt bath before heading to bed. So i asked permission and it was granted. This time, as i stared down the length of my body as the water covered it, i was filled with emotions. It was RIGHT there! I COULD TOUCH IT IF I WANTED TO. BUT i didn’t! i was a good girl! I was happy to be strong in mind… and frustrated all the same!

In an attempt to NOT tempt myself anymore than i could stand, i got out and dried off sooner than usual. But the towel between my legs felt SO soft. As it dragged across my clit, i was keenly aware of how it felt THERE and decided to rub it extra dry… for just a second. Literally a second. Because i realized any more and i’d not stop there either!

i was SO proud of myself! Self control for the win! This was a GOOD night!

And i got into bed. i was reading as David came in where i had the covers to my waist covering my lower half and exposing only the top half. He squeezed my nipple and kissed me. THAT was TOO much. i lowered the covers and exposed myself to him. (i didn’t touch….)

He asked me, “what are you doing?”

“Allowing you access Sir.”

“Why? Where is the chastity? You KNOW nothing is going to happen. Nothing happened in the tub that you need to make me aware of right now, did it??” is what he asked as his fingers set down on my clit and started to move.

i didn’t even have a chance to respond when he stuck a finger deep inside my puss as his thumb continued rubbing my clit. OMG ….. the stars were aligned, i arched my back, and was ready to ask permission to cum (another rule)…. All just THAT fast!

i was on THE EDGE.

And Sir knew it. He saw the tell tale signs. He stopped.

His finger immediately pulled out. He slapped down once on my clit hard enough to make its point clear! Bringing me back to my reality in such immediacy that i continued to see stars, but they weren’t the bright and brilliant kind that i wanted and liked!

That’s when he said, “you know, had you not opened your legs I never would’ve known. I was going to let you be on the Honor System tonight and whether you had on chastity or not, I was going to trust you to do the right thing. But now, I don’t think that’s a good thing at all. Needy girls need to be kept from their own self destructive ways. Now go put on the belt. And bring me the key.”

And that’s how the Third Night with my new BFF, ever-so-close-to me started with my Needs-A-Better-Name chastity belt.

As i locked Glory tight into her place, (Ohhh i like the name Glory. Maybe that’s her name now! That just came to me. What do you think? Make a better suggestion?)….. i then walked to David where he laid in our bed with his palm up waiting for the key to be placed there.

And i climbed into my side of the bed and prepared myself for another long night with Glory. She’s comfortable and not a problem to sleep in, physically. Mentally… another thing altogether!

And i drifted off to sleep with Glory snuggly locked up against my skin and protecting my sex.

In the middle of the night, i woke up, unable to get back to sleep. i thought about Glory (name is starting to ring a bell and stick!) and reached down to feel her against me. i felt just how close she was, how tight, how i can’t escape if i even wanted to, at least not without the key.

My hand ran the length of her between my legs. And i felt aroused. REALLY aroused. And my mind played tricks on me…. i heard myself thinking, “you could probably get a finger or two inside the edge and to your clit. You COULD do this!”

And i tried. Hard. i became intent on this! i WANTED this! And if i was going to work THIS hard to get past my guardian angel Glory, i deserved this! But… i could stop. Anytime i wanted to. And i would. (Right??)

My clit was swelling. i felt it pressing against the metal. i felt it desirous of my touch.

i suddenly became VERY intent on casting aside my BFF and going for the touch. i would stop anytime i needed to. i wouldn’t actually get an O. i just needed to get past Glory and to touch her enough to get a little second of happiness.

But.

Glory is a stronger BFF than even i knew. With a sucked in stomach and (basically) holding my breath, i found i could press a single finger between her steel and my body. But with a swollen clit, Glory was hanging on to my clit tighter than i would’ve thought.

My finger became caught in the folds of my puss and the steel, and then i had to take a breath expanding my stomach. That made Glory pinch my finger. To the point, i pulled it out. And stopped. In complete frustration.

I NEVER DID TOUCH MY CLIT. AT ALL!

i could chose to hate Glory for being on Sir’s side. Or i could chose to thank her for keeping me honest. i chose thankfulness. (It is the month to be THANKFUL.. even in the month of NO-vember!)

So now i still don’t have a clear idea of how long me and Glory will be BFF’s at night… but what i am sure of is, if she wasn’t my BFF before, i am POSITIVE she is now.

And David will NOT trust me to be on the HONOR SYSTEM again.

Here’s to a long and THANKFUL month of me and Glory.

Hugs,

Marie