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Tag: domestic discipline

92 – Spankings hurt! Always!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 92 – Spankings hurt! Always!

Yesterday i told you about how it feels to be in chastity and i was going to tell you about how pierced nipples feel today…. but as luck would have it, i landed myself in a punishment position so i am choosing to tell you about spankings today instead since it is quite ripe on my rear and in my brain too!

So today, i chose to talk about……

How does it feel…. to be spanked.

TODAY….

So because i got spanked just a few raw minutes ago, i am keenly aware of exactly how it feels and how to describe it with complete accuracy. But first i have to give you some background as to what happened to cause this….

i had to go to the dentist. Unlike many people, i am not at all afraid of the dentist, so this was a non-event for me. And…. my sister needed a new bed and our fav furniture store is on the way to the dentist. So i asked her if she wanted to go early enough, i’d shop with her and then i’d continue on to the dentist afterward. She agreed. (And i told David, and he was all good too). And we were off.

While there, i decided to walk around myself, which is when i spied a couch set i really liked. i had previously told David i thought ours were wearing out and maybe we could start looking for new ones so when i found a set i liked, i texted him pictures and info.

Well… then the time came to leave to head on to the dentist and i did. It seemed though that David was onboard with me buying this couch set and i was super excited. i didn’t actually buy it because we were still talking about it when i had to leave, but we both knew i would be driving right back by it on the return trip anyway.

But being excited, i was a distracted driver. And as such, i was driving along a road with many stop lights… and i didn’t even see the light…. so i absolutely did NOT see it was SUPER RED either! Until i was in the middle of the intersection and running that light as if it wasn’t even there!

It was ONLY by the Grace of God that the other drivers from the opposite direction saw me coming and stopped. While i was NOT in an accident, i was so very upset! i was shaking and my heart was racing and i thought i was even possibly going to throw up!

And i told David all about it. He was NOT happy about my lack of attention and being distracted. He was, of course, happy i was not in a second accident in less than ONE MONTH…..but still… that was only a small positive in an otherwise bad situation.

And he told me to go …….. Assume The Position.

HOW DOES IT FEEL…….

PHYSICAL: Unlike the chastity that does not hurt… spankings do!

At least, they should. And David does a great job of ensuring they do! The main purpose of them is to hurt the backside of my rear end. To prove a point. To reinforce the positive and punish the negative. It is a consequence that should NOT be desirable and should be painful as a result.

i assumed the position. Naked, bent over the bed, feet on the floor, and solid wooden paddle placed in the small of my back. And i wait.

MENTAL: Sir typically comes in about 5-10 minutes, and today he did as well. During that time, i pray. Today, i prayed, “Lord, give me the strength to accept this punishment with grace. The punishment that i know i have earned and deserve. i know you have given David the ability to lead our family well, and that i am to follow his leadership as his submissive wife. And i know that today, his leadership results in a spanking. Guide his hand and his mind throughout so he has the strength to discipline me in the way that leads to a better decisions on my part. Thank you Lord for keeping me safe from my own distraction in the car earlier, but also thank you for keeping me safe in the knowledge that you are always in control. Thank you Lord.”

PHYSICAL: He came in and picked up the paddle. And i immediately cringe as i wait to feel the first smack against my bare ass. And it does. And it STINGS! Hard! The first one always seems the worst. It’s like i forget how intense that sting is.

The paddle covers a lot of land mass due to its shear size. So when it hits, it is firm and solid. While Sir typically moves around his swings to different landing spots, there’s a lot of spots that end up being smacked multiple times. But he does move up and down and left to right. He usually only hits the same spot two or maybe three times without moving, unless he’s feeling particularly and especially like the punishment needs to be severe, which is rare.

Today was one of those rare times. He hit 4-5 times in the same spot. And each and every one stung like nobody’s business!

Do you remember when we used to roll up a kitchen towel and pop each other with it? And you’d yelp as it stung really bad? Yes! That’s the best analogy of how it feels. Only that sting isn’t just one little spot with a spanking, but ALL-over-my-ass! And repeat…. and repeat!

i try to stay bent over the bed, but it is SO hard to stay in place as the swats come as the stinging becomes ever present and vivid in my backside too. So i tend to stand upright, kinda dance around, and end up squeezing my legs and ass tight. It doesn’t help, but it is a natural response. And often, Sir will put his free hand on my back and press me back down and into place, while sometimes even saying (quite calmly), “resume your position,” but never stopping the swats intensity or frequency. If he were to stop/slow down, we both know it would achieve what i (subconsciously) was hoping for: a reprieve.

MENTAL: i don’t ever ask for Sir to stop, slow down, move around, or anything else. Because i am NOT in control!

There’s a reason i am here. i agreed to submit and obey, and i haven’t done that. At the beginning of this spanking, i prayed that the Lord help me accept this discipline with GRACE. And that He guide Sir with strength in his arm and mind to give this punishment to me properly. So i trust that David will know when to stop. And he always does. So i need to too.

i do have “safe words”, being consistent with most D/s relationships of “yellow”… slow down as i am approaching my max, and “Red” … stop now, i can’t take anymore.

i have only ever used Yellow one time, and never used Red. David intentionally got me to yellow just one time, in a maintenance spanking, to see: 1) if he could trust me that i’d actually use it, and 2) what level would trigger it so he’d have a base of knowledge for future spankings too.

Why don’t i use them more? Because i love being submissive. i love David pushing me to do more than i thought possible. To allow David to be the leader of our family that God wants him to be. To accept discipline as a part of growing in becoming a better and completely submissive wife.

PHYSICAL: David doesn’t swing with a lot of force. If i were to guess, he probably doesn’t even use 50% of his total ability to swing the paddle most of the time. He doesn’t have to. The paddle does a lot of the work for him.

If it is a maintenance spanking, which we do every Friday morning — not because i’m in trouble but as a reminder of what is expected — the spanking starts with a warm-up period. These are a lot of small swats that are with VERY little force, but encourage blood flow to the backside and “warm up” before the real spanking starts. This results in less pain/stinging and typically also lessens the chances of bruising.

But today and like every punishment spanking, there’s no warm up. He just starts in with intensity and intention. He does this to allow the full sting to hit and register in my backside and my brain both.

i don’t have to count, but sometimes i do in my head. i didn’t today, but if i were to guess, it was around 30. And believe me, i felt every-single-one!

MENTAL: As Sir spanked my ass, he asked me questions, “why were you a distracted driver?” And “was this a good example to our son?” And “do you really understand what will happen to our insurance coverage if you are in another accident?” And “what is your primary responsibility when you are behind a wheel?” And, “Did you drive in a safe way today?” And ending with ….. “Did you deserve this discipline today?” And “Have you learned your lesson?”

And he expects answers. He doesn’t pause the paddle to let me speak. He just keeps swinging and expects me to talk. And i squeak out the answers, which aren’t really necessary as we all know the answers too….(you included!)

But after i answer, he says, “so if we both know the right answers, and you didn’t act the proper way, did you deserve this spanking and discipline?”

To which i merely responded with a simple, “Yes Sir”.

And he stopped.

PHYSICAL… AND a bit of MENTAL: At the end of maintenance spankings, while i am still in position, Sir typically puts his hand between my legs and spreads them wide. And he fingers my clit, my puss, and quite frequently also my ass until i orgasm. It is a treat that doesn’t always happen, but i cherish it when it does! It is a reward for having been good, a reminder that not all spankings are discipline for bad behavior and a great ending to a maintenance spanking.

But today wasn’t about maintenance or treats, it was straight up discipline and a punishment. And those never end in rewards! Instead, he did end by standing me up, put his arms around me in a big hug, leaned down and kissed me and said, “I love you. Will this happen again?”

i said, “Thank you Sir for the discipline. No Sir, it will not happen again. And i love you also.”

PHYSICAL: The repetitive nature of hitting the same spots creates an intense sting in my ass that lasts quite awhile after the smacks end for any spanking. It causes my ass to turn red and hot to the touch. It feels a lot like a sunburn or even a burn from touching a hot pan on the stove when he’s done.

And just like a sunburn, the sting lingers for awhile but typically only several hours. It doesn’t “hurt” to sit down afterward really, but like a sunburn, it is tender to the touch so i sit quite gingerly too.

And the next day, frequently, my ass is still tender and sometimes bruised. Depending on where the bruise is exactly, it can be hard to sit down for a few days while it heals. But more often than not, there’s not a “huge” bruise covering my entire ass but rather just a “specific” spot that bruises. And that spot is different every time, and i couldn’t tell you why a spot bruised or doesn’t as there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.

MENTAL: Those bruises only last 1-2 days though and are just reminders of what landed me in that place from the start anyway. And they are physical, and NOT mental! It is a reminder to make better choices in the future, to avoid this outcome though too.

i do focus on trying to make better choices, but believe me when i tell you…. after the spanking is complete. So is the punishment. There are no lingering hatred, ill-will, bad feelings, or other negativity between us either way. We don’t bring it up again in “the next fight” (or spanking) either. It is gone and done. Forgiven. The ONLY time it is ever brought up again is if that bad-behavior is repetitive and occurs again.

Instead of ill-will, i actually APPRECIATE this discipline and way of correcting wrongs. If or today’s situation, i am grateful that THIS is ALL that has come of my bad choice to be distracted about (possible) new furniture. And that it was a darn good thing that more harm didn’t befall me and my 2nd new car in just a few months!

[Oh.. and i didn’t stop on the way home to get new couches, but we may get them later this week instead now. Maybe. i had to come home instead to have discipline administered.]

So in the end, i do accept discipline and spankings that leave my ass stinging, red, hot, and sometimes bruised…. because in many cases it is a small price to pay and….

…….because i am called to be Submissive and Obedient.

Hugs,

Marie

91 – what does it feel like?

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i get asked this question a lot….. with many things….. and of course, most recently with the chastity. But previously with getting nipples pierced. And frequently and quite regularly with spanking. And always with submission-in-general.

With the exception of the “submission,” i don’t think the question is aimed at asking how i feel emotionally, but rather how does it feel physically.

i suppose much of how i write is more about the emotional than the physical, but even then, sometimes it’s more from an objective standpoint than a “me” standpoint. For example, “i received a harsh spanking but i did xyz…”. That statement is rather objective and i don’t exactly say how it felt… either physical or emotional.

So i guess i can appreciate why i get asked to describe more of the feeling of things. So i’ll describe the physical AND the emotional FEELING…..

So i’ll just start with……..

CHASTITY….

Physical:

First off, i want to make it clear that it does NOT hurt. At all.

It is (somewhat) uncomfortable as it is tight and unforgiving in the restriction it imposed. But that’s the whole idea and how it’s supposed to be too!

Because it is steel, it moves as one full unit. Meaning, if you press on the back, the front moves and the same with side to side too.

i can’t get into or out of it by myself. Because it is metal, it is stiff. And all 3 of the prongs/parts have to come together and held in place, while the lock is put on. And logistically, it takes 2-hands to hold it in place and one more to apply the lock. Oh probably after some effort, i suppose i could get it on and off by myself but it wouldn’t be easy.

i suppose the difficulty comes from it being so tight. But if it weren’t so tight though, it wouldn’t do what it is supposed to: restrict access.

Now don’t misunderstand, it’s not so tight that i can’t breath, move, walk, or talk. It’s not those things, remember i already said, “it does NOT hurt.”

It does restrict access, specifically to my clit and any penetration of my puss. i suppose if i suck in air and my stomach with it, i could get my fingers between the metal and my clit. But as soon as i breath out, it would squeeze my fingers and likely cause pain. So trying to do that long enough to achieve orgasm is NOT likely!

Sir has frequently told me i touch myself way too much and i needed to control it. But …. the temptation has been too great for far too long.

In fact, touching myself without permission was the reason for a spanking gone wrong. Admittedly, i don’t touch my breasts or ass, so this is truly achieving what he wants….. controlling my ability to touch, pleasure, or orgasm without permission.

Going to the bathroom is a bit strange. i lift my dress and sit down. Because the Chastity is stainless steel and designed for 24/7 use, there is a hole in the back for poo and a grate in the front for pee. But sitting down on the toilet with the equivalent of (hard, tight, metal) panties still on and to relax enough to pee is a bit of a mental game for sure. But it does work really easily after i relax. The biggest challenge is wiping… the metal first, the sides next, and then the back. And when i don’t do it well enough, it drips down my leg. It takes a lot more time but it seems to be working.

i haven’t taken a shower with it on so i have no idea about that……

Mentally:

The chastity belt is a constant reminder that my body isn’t mine to control.

It’s kinda strange to put my hand in front of me and feel hard metal instead of soft skin, but again, a very constant and continual reminder that i should not be pleasuring myself at all. So it is both simultaneously (mentally) stimulating AND forcing me to think about other things too.

Typically when our son isn’t around and i have no panties on, i find ways to lower my puss onto Sir’s knee and seductively ask, “you want to touch it? You want to make it cum?”

But not today. Today, locked in chastity, we have talked about very non-seductive things…. tv shows, plans for dinner, what work holds this week, craft projects i have in the works, etc.

i have always loved enticing David to touch me and hoping that it was making him happy.

But in a lot of ways, i can see now (while in chastity) that those “enticements” were me putting suggestions in David’s head and it was ultimately about ME. It was me telling myself i was being submissive, because i ultimately gave him the choice to touch me or not. But that wasn’t really true, was it?

TODAY…..

Today i have been in chastity since getting out of the shower at 8:00 am and it is now approaching bed time ….more than 12-consecutive-hours.

Day 1 was only a few hours, yesterday.

Day 2 has been a very long time, today.

Even after all these hours, what i wrote above is true…. it doesn’t hurt, but a bit uncomfortable, not so unbearable i want it off. And the longer it goes, the more i am submissive in my mindset too!

Earlier in the afternoon, Sir did reach up and put his hand under my dress and tease the sides of my labia with his hand and said, “too bad you are all covered up and not possible to play with! I might’ve let you cum!”

i said, “if you want me to take it off, i can…..” (although as noted above, i probably can’t really get out of it on my own…..A-N-D……. i am NOT the one who holds the key anyway!!)

He said, “Noooooooo……If I wanted you out, I’d get you out! There’s no reason to get you out.”

And he walked away.

Later in the afternoon, Sir told me to do something and i immediately responded with, “but that’s not right…. blah blah”

And he cut me off and said, “Marie! You need to listen to me!” i immediately responded with, “i’m sorry Sir” and wished i wasn’t so quick to have responded.

He looked at me and smiled saying, “do you feel sufficiently chastised??”

i responded with, “oh yes, most definitely!”

He knew the double meaning when he used the word “chastised” and it was intentional! We both laughed.

Then as i was dressing for bed, Sir said, “you have a choice…. sleep with it in or take it off and get to cum.”

i cringed. i don’t like these types of choices. i don’t know what the “right” answer is. And i told him so.

He said, “There’s no right or wrong answer. I want to see how you’ll respond. Do what you want here.”

And i asked to be unlocked.

And to cum.

And i got it! At his hand. Not mine.

So i’m not sure how much i’ll ultimately wear it …. in any given day or how many days in general. Sir has made it clear it won’t be worn “permanently,” or “indefinitely”, but now today after having been in chastity all day, i can see the benefits of it and would willingly submit both my body and my mind to it regularly!

Maybe i’ll get to wear it overnight someday ….. and test my ultimate endurance….. but even then, i am NOT in control…. of anything. And it is VERY obvious to me while i AM in chastity!

The rest of the topics?!? Well… that will make good blog topics in the next few days. So, i’ll just end this here…..

While i’m unclear about the ultimate plan, i am happy to not know and to just submit!

Hugs,

Marie

90 – My Shiny New Toy

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 90 – My Shiny New Toy

The chastity belt is seemingly something that David thinks is good…. and seems to be Christmas in July for me!

While David wasn’t happy that i can’t keep my hands off my clit (causing the need for the belt), the chastity was really my idea as a solution. So i did the research, found one and ordered it. Of course, he didn’t argue or disagree, and ultimately i got his approval prior to ordering it…. so he clearly approves the idea of it.

But then…. my mind is my own worst enemy…. i wasn’t too sure when he saw it what he’d actually think. And whether this was one of MY ideas, and NOT being very submissive at all was a question in my own mind.

i guess i am one who needs reassurance. A lot of it. And when he didn’t say much about it, i just wasn’t too sure either. And i started to doubt.

But now as the day has gone on, i can tell he does like it. He told me he “liked snapping the lock in place and knowing (he) has complete control, especially when we are apart.”

Then i sent him some pictures. And he responded with “love that!”

Just now i asked him “do you have a plan for when you will release me?”

And he said, “the 31st”….. which is 2-weeks from now. i truly think he was kidding, but maybe that’s just me kidding myself.

i did say that if “you have me in it that long, you may as just make it a permanent thing.” To which he responded with, “hmmmm”.

So maybe i’ll be in it for awhile, or maybe no time at all….. i just don’t know.

But my doubt has subsided too!

And a few hours later…..

He released me. To which i was glad because the chafing did indeed start. i could tell some adjustments were needed.

In doing research, i found a lot of belts priced from $150’ish to (quite literally) $1,000+. The $150 are made in China, and like everything there, it’s made on the cheap. The $1,000+ are custom made with lotssssss of tailoring specific measurements.

The China ones are considered to be “starter” ones, and that’s what i got. So while there’s a lot of places to adjust the fit, ultimately, it is made on the cheap and (likely) to cause chafing somewhere/sometime.

So while i made adjustments and will just take time to adjust to, David definitely decided i will wear it again but not 24/7 either.

My thoughts on chastity….

To be honest, though….. i’d kinda like to try wearing it full time. i’d like to have it put back on, the key taken away, and when i want out it has to be asked for and (clearly) approved.

Why? Well, when i had it on, it was a solid (pun intended – get it – metal is solid?!? 😂🤣) reminder that i AM submissive.

And as a submissive – i am NOT in control. And i do NOT hold the key! In fact, i (literally and figuratively!) gave that key to my Sir. And not being able to touch the most private parts of myself without permission and being allowed, feels like the ultimate submission for me.

But David disagrees. And he does not want me to wear it full time. i am a bit disappointed that’s how he feels, but he DID decide this. So as such, i need to respect and appreciate and be happy in that decision! He is my Sir and i am his submissive. And no matter what he decides about anything, even though i have the ability to share my opinions (and trust me, i do!) when his opinion is one i don’t agree with, i have to respect and abide by it in the end.

Maybe this chastity thing is just my newest shiniest toy and i need to recognize thats “all” it is or might be!

So i did not sleep in chastity.

Now today….. Sunday….

Even with David saying no to full-time, with these adjustments in place, i am back in chastity now as i type this.

Going to church on this Sunday morn.

And let’s do a check –

Bra – nope.

Steel panties – yep!

i’ll just have to see how long this goes today. i kinda hope a longgggg time. Maybe overnight and into tomorrow! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

89 – And just like that……

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i sit here in chastity. Watching tv. Like nothing is any different than any other day.

You could look at me and have no idea that there are new “panties” that exists under this skirt of mine. Unless of course you happen to hear the slight sound of the lock clinking against the belt as i walk, or smell the pre-cum dripping down my leg, or see the smile on my Sir’s face as he held the key and said, “try to be good today!”…..

REWIND…….

This morning i was dressing for the day…. which on the weekend has no bra and no panties as typical protocol. i was anticipating that now that it is “the weekend” that “soon” the chastity would be put on.

After taking a shower and dressing, i was doing my hair. That’s when Sir walked up behind me and pulled my skirt up. As always, i never refuse his touch so while i paused and stood still, i waited for him to decide what came next. He smiled and ran his hand over my ass in a smooth, seductive, sultry way.

And he promptly dropped my skirt and said, “aren’t you missing something?”

i knew what it was in reference to, but i still said, “what do you mean?”

And he said, “do you really think i’m going to leave you (to go play golf) with you unprotected?”

i said, “you have before.”

And he said, “yes, but that was before we got the chastity… and we both know we got it for a reason…..we both know you can’t keep your hands off of what belongs to me!”

So with equal amounts of intrepidation and excitement, i laid it out open on the bed and laid down inside the edges. So i pulled the 3-sides altogether and held it in place while handing Sir the lock (and key).

He put the lock in place, snapped it shut, and pulled out the key.

And that’s when he said, “And just like that.. I’m off to golf and you need to try to be good today!”

Like i have a choice now.

But i had a choice before and always bugged him to masturbate. And sometimes didn’t even bother to ask and just did it anyway. Of course, i paid the price with guilt, coming clean to him, and subsequent punishment. But now, instead of detective controls, we have preventative controls. It will work. Of course it will.

And to be perfectly honest… it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as i anticipated. In fact, it’s similar to wearing a (tighter) thong. We shall see if it chafes, how it’s going to be to use the bathroom, or if it causes any trouble at all today.

i’m not entirely sure what the official plan yet for how long, now permanent, or how regular i’ll be wearing these new “panties,” but for now…..i’m doing ok! And frankly, part of submission is not knowing the plan, and not needing to know the plan, and still being ok with it, and i’m ok!

So while i won’t be getting “off” today, i will be off now to find some wholesome, good hearted, “family” show to watch today.

Hugs,

Marie

Day 14: My Submissiveness

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Day 14: REAL-LIFE BDSM…How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

For me, my kinkiness is being submissive, and it is 24/7. Not “just” when having sex, which is where i think most of the fantasies come from.

In fact, i think most fantasies about D/s is specifically about slaves….and not “just a” submissive. Now i don’t want to get into an entire discussion of the differences between slave and submissive here, but suffice it to say (here) that i see a slave with a lot fewer choices than a submissive.

So slave fantasies, in my mind anyway, include stuff like having her walk naked through the streets, chained or leashed, and when at home might sleep in a cage, maybe even uses the bathroom in the backyard.

T-H-A-T is a scene. i don’t think it is real life. Or at least not anyone’s typical D-A-I-L-Y life. And not my life for sure.

And if you dial it back to “just” a submissive, i think maybe a fantasy would possibly be of a 1950’s wife, wearing only heels and an apron to cook, clean, give foot massages, and …. well…..wait on her husband’s every need.

T-H-A-T is a scene also. Not my D-A-I-L-Y life there either.

So i guess you take out (most of) these hot-naked-sex scenes and put in a lot of “Yes Sir” and “No thank you Sir”, and a lot of respectful similar words… and T-H-A-T is my daily life.

i do a lot of “waiting on my husband’s needs” in a lot of “small” servitude tasks. Like …..

– when i see he is done eating dinner and just hasn’t quite gotten up yet to put the plate away, i take it from him and do it for him. And he thanks me and i say things like, “you are most welcome Sir”.

– And if his sleep apnea machine needs to have water refilled before bed, i do that too.

– And i try to be off the phone when i get home from work and talk to him.

– And i go to bed when he does.

None of these things are rules for me (ok, so “show respect” is, but these particular things aren’t specifically listed), but i do them anyway.

And T-H-I-S is my daily life….. typically fully clothed, indoors, not on a leash. Even if i’d think it hot to do those things, that’s the fantasy. 😉