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93 – We have a Plan B.

Plan A: i don’t have many rules. But the ones i do have are supposed to be solid and respected. The rule i can’t get through my head and to adhere (totally) to is self-imposed chastity. i am not allowed to touch myself or orgasm without permission.

The problem: i am wayyyy too tempted.

The solution: Chastity belt.

But that created a secondary problem. For me to have my access limited, also limits Sir’s access!

i have quickly figured out that David likes his “easy access” …. hence no panties rule. And while he’s never required dresses/ skirts, he most definitely prefers them too! While i’ve always known this about him, i wasn’t too sure which was more important….. my lack of access or his ability to have it. And it seemed impossible to serve both.

We weren’t sure exactly how chastity would ultimately fit into our lives. David was clear he didn’t want it to be indefinitely but otherwise, nothing was set.

It was a bit unclear, i think to both of us, how it could be effectively used but NOT be indefinite too.

So how does chastity keep me from access while allowing him access? THAT was the ultimate, underlying question.

Insert: Plan B!

And as of today…. we have a solution! The a plan B solution will work!

i have realized for awhile now that i get most turned on in the mornings. i wake up thinking about sex. And then i shower – touching and fondling my breasts, my pussy, and my ass to clean it, then get out and dry them off, and then see them in the mirror – and it all causes the arousal to grow even more intense!

While i never say no to sex or his access when he wants it, i really don’t feel naturally horny most any other time of the day. And while i know i have to ask permission to masturbate and cum, by the time i am ready to ask, David is typically on his way out the door. So frequently i end up asking via text after he’s already gone too!

Well, about a month ago, he said, “if you don’t ask in person, in words, out loud, to my face…. the answer is no. You don’t get to be a wimp and hide behind your phone.”

And i more or less shrugged that off and ignored it. And have kept asking. Yesterday though, he put his foot down and said, “I told you no more texting. I meant it!”

So we were talking about this. And have come up with an acceptable solution……..

Instead of me waking up to a cup of coffee on the couch, i will now wake up and go straight to the shower. And by doing this straight away, Sir will still be home of course.

When i am done, if i ask (in person and out loud), and the answer is yes – then great. i get to cum!

But if i ask and the answer is NO – i go into chastity right then and there. And it lasts until evening when i return from work …or whenever David ultimately decides …. which could be even longer if he wants to.

But knowing that i am aroused and want to touch myself – and he is needing to leave the house – leaves too much temptation to touch without permission.

And i won’t deny, i have been known to do it without permission. Because the temptation is simply overwhelming and i feel like i just NEED it, i do sometimes TAKE it.

But if i am locked right away, i would would then get dressed and ready for work without being tempted to make bad decisions that i have already been told no to.

And if he wants to unlock me when i get home, he will then gain the easy access he desires.

While technically i could touch and play with myself in the shower, when he unlocks me, and overnight …. i never do. That’s not when i experience the most temptations.

The shower is the trigger to the arousal, but i never finish standing up in the shower by myself. And i am never tempted when first home because i am tired and unwinding from work, preparing for dinner, etc. then we watch tv, do family things, and by the time i lay my head down, i fall asleep pretty quickly!

So the biggest risk is for me in the morning, after Sir leaves, and i am left alone. With myself. To play.

And this solution limits that temptation while allowing him the access he desires.

Now i am fully aware that i should be able to refrain and to control myself. And most days, i can. So Plan A works! But not all days so THIS is the perfect solution…. to take away the temptation altogether! So Plan B will work when Plan A fails!

So honestly….. i love the solution!

We will start this tomorrow. i wonder if tomorrow i’ll get to play or be locked up! But i feel like i will be asking…. because i haven’t been able to ask for several days now … in person.

What’s your bet? Will tomorrow morning hold orgasm or chastity? My bet? i think it’s 50/50 odds here and i don’t like those odds enough to bet on it! But i’ll be ready for both!

Hugs,

Marie

92 – Spankings hurt! Always!

Yesterday i told you about how it feels to be in chastity and i was going to tell you about how pierced nipples feel today…. but as luck would have it, i landed myself in a punishment position so i am choosing to tell you about spankings today instead since it is quite ripe on my rear and in my brain too!

So today, i chose to talk about……

How does it feel…. to be spanked.

TODAY….

So because i got spanked just a few raw minutes ago, i am keenly aware of exactly how it feels and how to describe it with complete accuracy. But first i have to give you some background as to what happened to cause this….

i had to go to the dentist. Unlike many people, i am not at all afraid of the dentist, so this was a non-event for me. And…. my sister needed a new bed and our fav furniture store is on the way to the dentist. So i asked her if she wanted to go early enough, i’d shop with her and then i’d continue on to the dentist afterward. She agreed. (And i told David, and he was all good too). And we were off.

While there, i decided to walk around myself, which is when i spied a couch set i really liked. i had previously told David i thought ours were wearing out and maybe we could start looking for new ones so when i found a set i liked, i texted him pictures and info.

Well… then the time came to leave to head on to the dentist and i did. It seemed though that David was onboard with me buying this couch set and i was super excited. i didn’t actually buy it because we were still talking about it when i had to leave, but we both knew i would be driving right back by it on the return trip anyway.

But being excited, i was a distracted driver. And as such, i was driving along a road with many stop lights… and i didn’t even see the light…. so i absolutely did NOT see it was SUPER RED either! Until i was in the middle of the intersection and running that light as if it wasn’t even there!

It was ONLY by the Grace of God that the other drivers from the opposite direction saw me coming and stopped. While i was NOT in an accident, i was so very upset! i was shaking and my heart was racing and i thought i was even possibly going to throw up!

And i told David all about it. He was NOT happy about my lack of attention and being distracted. He was, of course, happy i was not in a second accident in less than ONE MONTH…..but still… that was only a small positive in an otherwise bad situation.

And he told me to go …….. Assume The Position.

HOW DOES IT FEEL…….

PHYSICAL: Unlike the chastity that does not hurt… spankings do!

At least, they should. And David does a great job of ensuring they do! The main purpose of them is to hurt the backside of my rear end. To prove a point. To reinforce the positive and punish the negative. It is a consequence that should NOT be desirable and should be painful as a result.

i assumed the position. Naked, bent over the bed, feet on the floor, and solid wooden paddle placed in the small of my back. And i wait.

MENTAL: Sir typically comes in about 5-10 minutes, and today he did as well. During that time, i pray. Today, i prayed, “Lord, give me the strength to accept this punishment with grace. The punishment that i know i have earned and deserve. i know you have given David the ability to lead our family well, and that i am to follow his leadership as his submissive wife. And i know that today, his leadership results in a spanking. Guide his hand and his mind throughout so he has the strength to discipline me in the way that leads to a better decisions on my part. Thank you Lord for keeping me safe from my own distraction in the car earlier, but also thank you for keeping me safe in the knowledge that you are always in control. Thank you Lord.”

PHYSICAL: He came in and picked up the paddle. And i immediately cringe as i wait to feel the first smack against my bare ass. And it does. And it STINGS! Hard! The first one always seems the worst. It’s like i forget how intense that sting is.

The paddle covers a lot of land mass due to its shear size. So when it hits, it is firm and solid. While Sir typically moves around his swings to different landing spots, there’s a lot of spots that end up being smacked multiple times. But he does move up and down and left to right. He usually only hits the same spot two or maybe three times without moving, unless he’s feeling particularly and especially like the punishment needs to be severe, which is rare.

Today was one of those rare times. He hit 4-5 times in the same spot. And each and every one stung like nobody’s business!

Do you remember when we used to roll up a kitchen towel and pop each other with it? And you’d yelp as it stung really bad? Yes! That’s the best analogy of how it feels. Only that sting isn’t just one little spot with a spanking, but ALL-over-my-ass! And repeat…. and repeat!

i try to stay bent over the bed, but it is SO hard to stay in place as the swats come as the stinging becomes ever present and vivid in my backside too. So i tend to stand upright, kinda dance around, and end up squeezing my legs and ass tight. It doesn’t help, but it is a natural response. And often, Sir will put his free hand on my back and press me back down and into place, while sometimes even saying (quite calmly), “resume your position,” but never stopping the swats intensity or frequency. If he were to stop/slow down, we both know it would achieve what i (subconsciously) was hoping for: a reprieve.

MENTAL: i don’t ever ask for Sir to stop, slow down, move around, or anything else. Because i am NOT in control!

There’s a reason i am here. i agreed to submit and obey, and i haven’t done that. At the beginning of this spanking, i prayed that the Lord help me accept this discipline with GRACE. And that He guide Sir with strength in his arm and mind to give this punishment to me properly. So i trust that David will know when to stop. And he always does. So i need to too.

i do have “safe words”, being consistent with most D/s relationships of “yellow”… slow down as i am approaching my max, and “Red” … stop now, i can’t take anymore.

i have only ever used Yellow one time, and never used Red. David intentionally got me to yellow just one time, in a maintenance spanking, to see: 1) if he could trust me that i’d actually use it, and 2) what level would trigger it so he’d have a base of knowledge for future spankings too.

Why don’t i use them more? Because i love being submissive. i love David pushing me to do more than i thought possible. To allow David to be the leader of our family that God wants him to be. To accept discipline as a part of growing in becoming a better and completely submissive wife.

PHYSICAL: David doesn’t swing with a lot of force. If i were to guess, he probably doesn’t even use 50% of his total ability to swing the paddle most of the time. He doesn’t have to. The paddle does a lot of the work for him.

If it is a maintenance spanking, which we do every Friday morning — not because i’m in trouble but as a reminder of what is expected — the spanking starts with a warm-up period. These are a lot of small swats that are with VERY little force, but encourage blood flow to the backside and “warm up” before the real spanking starts. This results in less pain/stinging and typically also lessens the chances of bruising.

But today and like every punishment spanking, there’s no warm up. He just starts in with intensity and intention. He does this to allow the full sting to hit and register in my backside and my brain both.

i don’t have to count, but sometimes i do in my head. i didn’t today, but if i were to guess, it was around 30. And believe me, i felt every-single-one!

MENTAL: As Sir spanked my ass, he asked me questions, “why were you a distracted driver?” And “was this a good example to our son?” And “do you really understand what will happen to our insurance coverage if you are in another accident?” And “what is your primary responsibility when you are behind a wheel?” And, “Did you drive in a safe way today?” And ending with ….. “Did you deserve this discipline today?” And “Have you learned your lesson?”

And he expects answers. He doesn’t pause the paddle to let me speak. He just keeps swinging and expects me to talk. And i squeak out the answers, which aren’t really necessary as we all know the answers too….(you included!)

But after i answer, he says, “so if we both know the right answers, and you didn’t act the proper way, did you deserve this spanking and discipline?”

To which i merely responded with a simple, “Yes Sir”.

And he stopped.

PHYSICAL… AND a bit of MENTAL: At the end of maintenance spankings, while i am still in position, Sir typically puts his hand between my legs and spreads them wide. And he fingers my clit, my puss, and quite frequently also my ass until i orgasm. It is a treat that doesn’t always happen, but i cherish it when it does! It is a reward for having been good, a reminder that not all spankings are discipline for bad behavior and a great ending to a maintenance spanking.

But today wasn’t about maintenance or treats, it was straight up discipline and a punishment. And those never end in rewards! Instead, he did end by standing me up, put his arms around me in a big hug, leaned down and kissed me and said, “I love you. Will this happen again?”

i said, “Thank you Sir for the discipline. No Sir, it will not happen again. And i love you also.”

PHYSICAL: The repetitive nature of hitting the same spots creates an intense sting in my ass that lasts quite awhile after the smacks end for any spanking. It causes my ass to turn red and hot to the touch. It feels a lot like a sunburn or even a burn from touching a hot pan on the stove when he’s done.

And just like a sunburn, the sting lingers for awhile but typically only several hours. It doesn’t “hurt” to sit down afterward really, but like a sunburn, it is tender to the touch so i sit quite gingerly too.

And the next day, frequently, my ass is still tender and sometimes bruised. Depending on where the bruise is exactly, it can be hard to sit down for a few days while it heals. But more often than not, there’s not a “huge” bruise covering my entire ass but rather just a “specific” spot that bruises. And that spot is different every time, and i couldn’t tell you why a spot bruised or doesn’t as there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.

MENTAL: Those bruises only last 1-2 days though and are just reminders of what landed me in that place from the start anyway. And they are physical, and NOT mental! It is a reminder to make better choices in the future, to avoid this outcome though too.

i do focus on trying to make better choices, but believe me when i tell you…. after the spanking is complete. So is the punishment. There are no lingering hatred, ill-will, bad feelings, or other negativity between us either way. We don’t bring it up again in “the next fight” (or spanking) either. It is gone and done. Forgiven. The ONLY time it is ever brought up again is if that bad-behavior is repetitive and occurs again.

Instead of ill-will, i actually APPRECIATE this discipline and way of correcting wrongs. If or today’s situation, i am grateful that THIS is ALL that has come of my bad choice to be distracted about (possible) new furniture. And that it was a darn good thing that more harm didn’t befall me and my 2nd new car in just a few months!

[Oh.. and i didn’t stop on the way home to get new couches, but we may get them later this week instead now. Maybe. i had to come home instead to have discipline administered.]

So in the end, i do accept discipline and spankings that leave my ass stinging, red, hot, and sometimes bruised…. because in many cases it is a small price to pay and….

…….because i am called to be Submissive and Obedient.

Hugs,

Marie

Day 13: My Submissiveness

Day 13: KINK APPEAL…Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

i am drawn to submission. And my husband is drawn to control. So it’s a good fit!

And why am i drawn to it? It a very simple……Because it makes my husband happy, which makes me happy.

i mean seriously… does there have to be more?

Seriously. Why wouldn’t every woman set out to have a happy husband?! If you love your husband, you WANT him to be happy! Right?!

Ok, so there might be more to it too…. like the ability to let go, let someone else, to not worry, to not have to make decisions, to go with the flow, to not be in control ALL the time… or none of the time!

And… i am also into Domestic Discipline. Or said more plainly, “spanking”.

Why?

Because when the first kinky thing (my submission, his Domination) fails, there has to be consequences!

So if you are wondering “why does there HAVE to be consequences?”

Well that’s simple. EVERYTHING has consequences. At least every decision does. Maybe it’s not a significant consequence, but there definitely is one.

What do i mean? Well, ok, let’s talk specific examples……

You decide to run the red light… you could get a ticket from the cop who saw it, you could get into a car accident, or maybe you got away with it… but your conscience knows, you didn’t make a good choice.

OR….

You decide to stop at the red light…. and the car behind you doesn’t stop so you are still in an accident, or maybe not that bad but simply that sitting at the light just causes you to get to work late and now you have to explain to the boss why you are late.

Life is full of alternative choices .. or… consequences.

So WHY wouldn’t a relationship also have consequences?

If i upset David, or i don’t do as i should or as he’d expect, i get in trouble. And before DD, it would just mean a huge-ass fight (!!!!) but now….. it results in his arm muscles getting stronger as he perfects the swing of the paddle as it collides with my bare ass.

And i accept it. Willingly.

That’s what i’m into and why it appeals to me. ❤️

Hugs,

Marie

84 – Double or nothing

This morning was supposed to be maintenance morning (MM). But David woke up later than usual and he had an appointment that he had to leave for so he said, “MM will be tonight.”

And i was secretly happy! Because after yesterday’s evening spanking, my rear is still a bit red and tender so i was NOT looking forward to this morning’s reinforcement.

After Sir left the house, i texted and told him these things.

And he responded with a challenge…..

“Should you decide to accept this challenge……. Wear a plug today. If you come home with it in, there will be no MM. but if comes out before you get home…. the MM will be doubled.”

Me: And if i don’t accept?

Sir: then you’ll get MM anyway.

Me: when you say “doubled”…. does that mean extra hard in one sitting or do two sittings (like today and again tomorrow)?

Sir: I haven’t decided yet, but that will be my decision.

Me: OK. Challenge accepted!

So i now sit at work…. plugged. And trying to convince myself (already just an hour in) this was a good idea! sometimes things sound great at the time…. “i can do this”….. and only just an hour later i think, “what were you thinking??”

i’m already thinking how it’s quite likely i won’t be able to sit down much of the weekend……

Hugs,

Marie

75 – handyman, i am NOT!

We have a reverse osmosis water filtration system (that’s a mouthful!) to filter our drinking water. The main tank and pump are housed under our kitchen sink island.

Every so often we have to replace the filters to keep the water flowing properly, otherwise the water pressure dwindles to (basically) nothing. We did that this past weekend but the water pressure did not immediately return the way it has in the past.

David told me to call the people who installed it and schedule them to come out.

(Mistake number 1 – right here – i should’ve JUST scheduled it. But i didn’t)

So i called yesterday. The tech lady asked a few questions and told me the “tank needs to be disconnected and emptied, then use a bicycle pump to put in 8-10 psi, reconnect it and should be good to go.”

i said, “oh that sounds a bit past my expertise”

(if only i’d have stopped there! And done as i was told and scheduled the tech to come fix it)

She tells me, “Oh it’s really not hard at all.” And in short time, convinces me too.

i hang up. i tell David. He said (and i do quote!), “you should just schedule them to come do this. I don’t think this is a good idea. Too much can go wrong.”

(And if i’d only stopped T-H-E-R-E!…. but oh no…. i didn’t!)

i told David how easy it was, what the tech had told me, i even googled it to see how “right” she was, watched a YouTube video. And David said, “well, if you want to…..”

Then he told me, “if it works, you can cum sooner than the 7-days! But if it doesn’t…..” (and he smirked)

(Challenge accepted. Game onFinish line… here-i-CUM!!)

So i went to work, all in all, i thought i succeeded. With just one teensy little concern….. when i turned the water valve to the “on” position, it made a fizzing sound like when you open a bottle of soda for the first time. Neither the tech nor the video made any mention of this.

But now we simply had to wait 2-4 hours for the water tank to do its thing, fill up, etc. Nothing to do really except wait and see.

So because i started this at almost 7pm, i wouldn’t know if it worked until close to bedtime. And because of my edging assignment, (can’t cum until i know this has proven successful!), i went to the bedroom to do so.

And i stayed there afterward, readied for bed, read, turned out the light and went to sleep.

(This is one more opportunity to have possibly changed the outcome. If i had at least gone to check on it… the next part likely could’ve been avoided…. but no, i didn’t even do that much!)

This morning comes and i wake, as usual, 6am. i go straight to the kitchen to get coffee (zombie without it!). i don’t even turn the lights on, but the sun is coming up so it’s dark but not pitch black either.

And i stepped in water.

i flipped on the lights and there is about 1/2 – 1 inch of water covering the entire kitchen floor. (oh holy S@#%!!!!)

Well, David was in the front of the house and i walk in and say, “will you come help me please Sir?”

“With what?”

“The kitchen”

“I take it the tank-fix didn’t go well?”

“No Sir, most definitely not!”

And when he walked into the kitchen, in front of me, he said, “holy hell!”

And we went to work cleaning. He never yelled. He never even sounded mad. i think that was ONLY because we had to come together and get this cleaned up.

We saturated 8-towels, used 3-rolls of paper towels, and a shop vac. Now the water is off the floor – for what we can see. What we can’t see and don’t know is: 1) what is still under the wood floors that could cause warping or mold, 2) what is still under the island and could also cause mold.

When we were mostly done, he dressed and left to go play golf (previously planned). And gave me instructions on how to finish.

And just before he left he said, “next time, you’ll just schedule the handyman straight away, correct? You need to call and get it scheduled now too.”

“Yes Sir”

“Do you understand you screwed up?”

“Yes Sir”

“We will deal with this when I get home”

“Yes Sir”

So now, i sit here with the shop vac still going full force…..Trying to coerce the water to come out of the island as i type this out. i can only pray there are no ultimate lingering house-damaging problems from this!

While i accept the punishment that will ensue later today, i am dreading it too…. i know this spanking will be a serious punishment and pain. And it will likely cause me to cry. And i deserve it, and i will accept it. i likely will still feel it’s impact tomorrow on my rear side.

And now i have NO idea when cumming will be allowed either. i haven’t even mentioned that! There’s no point really! i won’t be surprised if the 7-days start over or are at least extended for some time to come.

There are so many places in this (unfortunately very true) story i could’ve changed this outcome. And i didn’t.

But here’s the positive…. because of DD, we are NOT fighting about this, we are working together on this, we are actually very much in sync on this, and we have a way to fix this and move on without resentment or ill will. When this frightful story does come to an end…. after the punishment today, the tech people come fix this properly, and we know there’s no lingering damage that remains…. it will be done. No future rehashing, throwing it up in my face, or fighting then about it either.

And for that, i am grateful.

(i will give you the last Memoir today…. or possibly tomorrow… i may not be allowed online the rest of today as another side of this punishment…. he knows i love to blog and taking it away today might be a punishment i have to accept)

Hugs,

Marie