Tag: dd
292 – i was bad, and now we are good
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 292 – i was bad, and now we are good
Today is Friday. i haven’t had a maintenance spanking in a longgggg time. It was middle of September the last time i was spanked for maintenance purposes.
While it’s been awhile since i wrote about the Types of Spankings, when i re-read it tonight, i would say it’s all still true.
Maintenance Spankings work. They hurt. They are intended to. They are preemptive in curbing bad attitudes/activities before they get so bad it has to be punishment. They are also reminders of what could be worse if i keep on doing bad things. (i also think maintenance does David good too. He wields his hand and exerts his authority. He’s reminded how to be Dominate every time too.)
Today’s maintenance was needed. Much needed. Probably a good two weeks or more overdue!
i was reluctant to tell David (or even suggest) that he needed to spank me. Because i try hard to NOT tell him how or when to do his job. i know i have tendencies to Top From The Bottom. i have tried VERY hard to stop.
But it puts me in a quandary of not being able to get what i need without asking too. Of course, the key word in that last sentence is ASKING, as compared to TELLING. If i ASK, i shall receive. But it’s wrong to TELL or demand or command. Admittedly, i have not mastered the skill of “just” asking…. Yet. But i am working on it too!
When i don’t get spanked, i get antsy, cranky, and generally stressed out. i know that sounds dumb. But it’s so true. My anxiety goes way up as i am left to my own devices. When i am spanked, i am brought down a notch, reminded to be submissive, and the endorphins are released bringing about stress-relief.
My biggest wish is that David would see how good it is for me and be CONSISTENT to do it when it’s needed. Or on a routine schedule. Or both.
Well… usually… when he is consistent…. It’s done on Friday’s. We decided that ages ago. It sets the right tone for the weekend and gets things started “right.” But as mentioned, we haven’t done it in a long time. But today, we did.
As i was in the shower, i was debating, “do i ask to be spanked or not?!” And i thought, “i am just going to tell him how much i need it.” And then i thought, “that’s the wrong way to do this. Go ask him to do it.” And then i continued my mental battle by saying, “but if he says NO, it’s going to be a full-on meltdown for me.”
So, i had no clear path forward but got out of the shower anyway. Right about that moment, David came into the bathroom and greeted me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss too. Then he straightened up and said, “I need to do maintenance. Go Assume The Position.”
Ok. That settled that!
So i didn’t say a word and just did as told.
He used the riding crop. It started out smooth and tame and even easy. Then it became more intense with swift strikes to my ass.
As i started to feel the heat rise in my butt, i was squirming around a lot. David is always standing as i am on the bed, so he was in a prime position to use a single hand to press down on my lower back causing me to be pinned between the bed and him. i was no longer able to move.
He struck my bottom over and over.
i could tell it was doing it’s job and calming my thoughts. i was focused on nothing but holding still, enduring what i knew i craved and ultimately needed, and taking it with grace and submissive acceptance.
Eventually i was to my breaking point and was begging him to stop. Begging never works. i do have safe words. When i call “yellow” it is to signal to David that i need him to give me a break, or to slow down, or otherwise consider stopping. Ironically, i can’t seem to find the right words to ask to be spanked, but a single word is all i have to utter to give David a proper and kind request to slow down. But he still has all authority to continue or to stop, until i say the word “red.” So he retains control the whole time. Wish i had a single word to start in the same way i have a word to stop!
When i couldn’t take anymore, i uttered “yellow Sir!” And he decided to stop entirely. i suspect if this was a full-on punishment, he’d not have stopped at all. But i was grateful that today he did stop.
i was still in position when he spoke a question that we both knew was rhetorical. He asked, “are you wet?!” And his fingers found their mark. My body always betrays me by releasing my juices every time i am spanked. i don’t feel turned on or sexually aroused by the spanking, yet, my puss always tells another story. He knew he’d find a dripping wet pussy as he touched it.
He left his one hand on the small of my back as his other hand’s fingers primed my holes. i felt a finger enter my front and another invade my back hole simultaneously. And then he began to hold me in place as his fingers started to stroke my sex. It took just a minute or so before i begged my Sir if i could orgasm, and after he said yes, i let all my juices flow freely.
After i recovered and came to my senses fully, i thanked my Sir properly.
He could tell my mind was then “thinking” and he asked me to share my thoughts.
i asked if we were good now. He said, “I think we are.”
When i asked him why he has not spanked me for the previous weeks, where i was “all but daring” him to do so, he said, “because I wanted to see what you’d do.”
i said, “act poorly.”
He said, “I know. That’s why we had a maintenance where you called yellow. I was determined to go a long time today. And if this doesn’t work, we will repeat until you call red.”
i think we are good.
i knew we would be. i just wanted it to be awhile ago already.
(i’ll write about the new belt and what i think of it very soon.. as i am sitting locked in place now.)
Hope your Friday was as good as mine! 😉
Hugs,
Marie
229 – Caned on Christmas!
Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking, Submission. 12 Comments on 229 – Caned on Christmas!
i think it’s been nearly a year ago that we bought a cane. When i say we, i really mean ME! i was fascinated by it and wanted to know what it felt like. i wanted to know if it was better, worse, or just different than the paddle.
i asked David if i could buy one and he agreed. If i remember correctly, his words were something like, “be careful what you wish for.” And i (naively) said, “challenge accepted!” and i was super excited and got a cane.
We used it a couple of times for pure fun. David discovered how silent it was. He threatened to use it on vacations or at other similar times where silence (or near silence) is necessary to spank me for discipline reasons. i say “he threatened,” because we have not taken it out of town with us, nor have i otherwise been disciplined with it…. ever… until today!
After feeling the cane the first time, i decided i liked it better than the paddle.
In terms of how it compares to the paddle, it is actually a bit of a similar feeling. i wouldn’t exactly call it pain, but rather a stinging feel. The biggest difference is the coverage of my ass. The cane is extremely localized as the cane itself is quite thin, compared to the paddle that pretty much covers my entire ass in one smack as it is just bigger.
To better describe the feel, the best analogy i can think of is that the paddle is like the stinging you feel when your foot falls asleep and then try to walk on it immediately after. When your foot falls asleep, it hurts to stand up on it as it feels like needles are stinging all over. Of course, when your foot wakes up, the stinging subsides and eventually stops. That’s where the analogy breaks down because with the paddle, the sting builds more and more rather than dissipating. Oh eventually it does dissipate, but that is (typically hours) later and only after the intensity had of course amped up, not immediately down.
To better describe the cane, it feels like a bee sting. It is localized and specific in the coverage, but the actual stinging feel is the same really.
That was at least how i thought of the cane….until today. Today, changed my opinion of it. As i realized that a for-fun caning and a for-discipline caning are NOT the same!
But i suppose that ultimately, until today, i did not respect the cane the way i should have. Now i do!
i now think i ultimately decided before that i liked the cane better because it takes longer to feel the sting all over because of the localized feel. It takes longer to feel the sting on the entire land space of my ass. (i don’t have a big ass, but when i describe the paddle and cane here, it sounds like my rear is ginormous!). But little stings can be super intense and super stingy (is that a word?) even without the coverage. And today, i felt the true cane’s impact.
SO WHAT HAPPENED ANYWAY?
Ok, alright…. i will tell you….
Today did not start out as the Merry Christmas it should have been! But the holiday is ending super well, so all’s well that ends well.
SO WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY?
Well… so… this morning David’s parents called his phone to wish us a Merry Christmas and thank us for the gifts we sent. He put the phone on speaker and started talking to my in-laws, whom i love and adore.
Well…. As they must’ve also been on their speaker phone, both of them started talking while David was too. They were having a lovely conversation wishing Merry Christmas’, thanking for the gifts we sent, and describing what else they also received. And i really had no opportunity to speak but i knew i should too.
When they asked about what i received (new clothes), David pushed me from behind onto my shoulder. If i had been standing, it would’ve been like he was pressing me forward but of course i was seated. Instead of me speaking and answering though, before i even knew it, they were saying other stuff and then soon after hanging up, where I said absolutely nothing. i never even wished them a Merry Christmas or said goodbye.
i didn’t intend to NOT speak at ALL to them, but i guess I didn’t really try too hard to speak either.
David IMMEDIATELY came around in front of me and was angry. He said, “THAT was incredibly rude! Go to the bedroom. N-O-W!”
i stuttered. i tried to start into an explanation about why i didn’t speak. But the same as my words to his parents never materialized, neither did my words to him! Not that he even cared then because of course, the time to speak had passed.
Instead of me speaking or him listening, he spoke. He said, “I don’t care W-H-Y you didn’t speak. You didn’t try hard enough. Not a single word came out. GO! NOW!”
He was angry! As you might think he would be!
He followed me to the bedroom. As i got undressed and into position (on the bed with a pillow under my hips raising my rear higher in the air, and my head-shoulders-arms on the bed), he went to get what i thought at the time was the paddle but i soon found out it was the cane.
Our son was in the house and this was the first time ever that he intended to spank me when our son would hear. The paddle is rather noisy, but then so am i too! But sound wouldn’t be a problem with the cane. There would be none, unless it was from my lips, which i refused to do and we both knew it.
You might would think i would be afraid…. i mean, David was angry! But i wasn’t afraid. i never am.
i KNOW David is a good man and will NEVER hurt me more than i deserve. He will never abuse his power of authority, but rather enforce it to the extent needed. And he is ALWAYS in control of himself. i have only ever, in 25-years of being with him, seen him out of control twice. And even then, he regained his composure about as quickly as he lost it.
As immediately as i was in position, i felt the thwack of the cane. i didn’t hear the swish sound in the air. Probably because i wasn’t listening or anticipating it. But i sure as hell felt it!
He swung the cane with ease, but in full control and with intention to cause pain and regret. It collided easily with my ass and i immediately knew David’s plan. i had never had a discipline spanking from the cane, but i was about to now!
He swung the cane the second time and it swished in the air. i heard it this time and one second later i felt it too.
Many times in a row, he moved it up and down my ass and the more i felt it hit my rear, the more pain i felt.
At first he didn’t speak, which made me even more unsettled and upset. That was when i started talking to explain why I didn’t speak, he then started to talk to me about how rude i had been. And that i shouldn’t have been. And that i knew better.
And He was right.
Thwack! Thwack!
i began to squirm unmercifully. My head/shoulders came up off the bed. He said, “Get back in position!” in a voice that was uncannily calm, which unsettled me further.
i did as i was told.
Swish, Thwack! Squish, Thwack!
i heard myself saying, “i can’t take anymore” in no time at all.
He said, “you know what you have to say for this to stop!”
“I’M SORRY SIR.”
Swish….
Thwack, Thwack, Thwack!
“i know i should have spoken. i just didn’t. They were talking. You were talking. And i didn’t try hard enough. i am so sorry Sir.”
“Will this ever happen again?”
Thwack!!!
“NO SIR!”
Thwack!
“Are you sure?”
“YES SIR!”
Thwack! Thwack!
“Done. I believe you are remorseful. You are now done.“
He pulled me upright and he kissed me. He told me he loved me. And then said, “now let’s go get ready for Christmas lunch. Merry Christmas!”
And almost like it was on cue, my sister and her family walked into our house (the front door, not my bedroom door), our son came down the stairs, David went back to finishing our meal, and the merriment truly began.
i struggled to act completely “normal” as i greeted her family, but thankfully the holiday activities quickly provided a natural diversion. We started to open presents, and talk, all while my ass was stinging so badly and i just wanted the heat to dissipate!
i opened my presents standing up. i was able to make it look natural as my presents were on the coffee table too.
Only one other reference was made to the situation or the spanking the rest of the day when David quietly asked me one time when it was just he and i, “how are you feeling?”
i knew he was meaning to ask about my ass. I said, “sore. But it’s ok. It was needed.”
And he said, “and you accepted it like a good girl.”
i NEVER want to feel the cane again as a discipline. And i’m pretty certain David knows that now too, which makes me sure the cane will be his go-to punishment spanking implement now.
i had COMPLETELY underestimated the power of the cane! Never again!
My rear end has been sore all day, as a constant reminder of my submission. And while i don’t want to repeat that event ever, i am happy.
My day, my family, and my gifts were all wonderful. Including the gift of my husband teaching me a lesson i needed to learn. And of course, the gift of Jesus being the best of all!
Merry Christmas!
Hugs,
Marie
212 – Rules … can be sexy but not always
Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 212 – Rules … can be sexy but not always
i often refer to “the rules” that we have in a generic sense. And i guess maybe because we don’t have them written down, our “rules” can maybe be considered fairly generic. i think sometimes generic is better, as it can be applied easily overall. And yet, we do have some rules that are fairly specific too.
Even the Constitution of the USA is fairly generic … or maybe general is a better word. The ability to apply it across the board makes it easier to use, and less likely to have any reason to follow up or amend it later.
So what are my rules? i don’t remember actually ever writing about them, so i will do so now…… and if i did before, we’ll, you’ll have a repeat!
But first, i will say… the rules apply 24/7, 365. There’s NEVER a time when they don’t apply. There may be times where the consequences for breaking them need to be bent a bit, but they ALWAYS apply.
1) i am to use the word Sir. Regularly. Often. With intentional meaning too. It is his preferred term of endearment from me as it shows respect and honor. Generally it is a sign of elevation to the one it is being said to and a lowering of the one saying it, so it’s pretty appropriate too.
2) Speak with respect… i am to show respect at all times. Never to yell or insist i am “right” and he is (therefore by default) “wrong”. i can and do make my wishes or opinions known but i always know to do it with respect in my voice, actions, and thoughts.
3) deferral. At the end of the day, only one of us will win. And it won’t be me. And this is ok by me. Honestly, it is. By “not winning” i don’t mean that then i lose though either. i am allowed to speak my thoughts and opinions and i may well have influenced his ultimate decision, but he does have final authority and decision-making power. Over everything. On occasion, he may tell me to make the decision about something but it was even then that ultimately he decided to give over that decision for me to handle in that specific situation. So at all times, i defer to his authority.
4) dress sexy. This means i am to be clean shaven. ALL over. Especially on my puss. Completely devoid of all hair. At ALL times. It also means rarely a bra, on approved occasion panties, and overall fitted, sexy clothes whenever possible. i do not wear frumpy Grandma clothes hardly ever. i say “hardly” because there are times… when feeling ill, doing yard work, etc. but that often.
And yes, the clean shaven puss is required. i wouldn’t say David “inspects” me, but he wants it the way he wants it and expects to find it that way anytime he touches it too. At first, it made me feel childish. Seeing my pussy without hair the first time made me feel strange, awkward, and honestly embarrassed. i happen to think that was part of his intention.
While no hair is practical in more ways than one, having me see my childhood pussy made me feel smaller again. Smaller than him, allows him to be slightly elevated, which goes to the previous rules… he is in charge, he is to be respected with Sir, to be deferred to, and makes the decisions. This was a physical and visual part of it come to life.
5) always ask to take a soaking, warm, relaxing bath. i told you about this in the last post but i will mention a bit of the particulars once more here too. Because i don’t do well having fully access to my naked body, especially when my mind slows down and my body is still, that i am tempted beyond my abilities. So he requires that i ask permission ahead of doing so, sometimes it is denied but frequently approved. And he checks on me regularly while there to ensure i am being good the entire time.
6) maintenance spanking on Fridays. i have talked a lot about this in separate posts also. But in the interest of keeping all the rules listed in one place, it’s here too.
i won’t talk much here because it is well documented throughout my blog, but I’ve will suffice to say, “practice makes perfect.” This is for both David and i. David has learned perfectly just exactly how to spank. That sounds silly writing it, but it’s true. When we first started doing domestic discipline, he was not good at it. It’s hard to know how much is enough, too much, or too little. When he first started out, he was so afraid of abusing me and going too far, that he absolutely went too little, As well, i also found the point that i know it’s effective but not too much …. Or too little.
Maintenance reinforces what we want. Keeps it in the front of my mind of what could be (even worse yet), if the submissive mindset fails to operate as intended. In other words, if/when these rules are broken, a punishment will ensue.
7) my body belongs to him. i do not touch myself sexually for pleasure without his permission. Well, officially i am allowed to “touch” and even edge myself if i wish to, but i am NEVER to orgasm without express authority AND even the edging is supposed to be with permission or at least me telling him that’s what i am doing. And sometimes he orders edging, which of course, i comply.
i have to ask to orgasm every single time, even at his touch too.
Frequently this last rule is the one i struggle with the most, which is why i write a lot of sex-charged posts from me. Mainly i struggle with it because i have come to realize that giving him authority and power in all things in our house and especially over me is truly a turn on for me.
i find his power is super sexy. i have always been more attracted to confident men, and ones who take charge and get things done especially. But of course, in current times it seems men are taught that a strong confident authoritative man is too much. Men are taught that they are to treat their wife as their equal, so lots of men squash down that part of them that is the confident, decision-making part, for fear of backlash if-when they let that out. But for me, when David is especially in his Dominant space, i go to my sub space too…. In or out of the bedroom. But of course, it gets me ALL wet all the same too!
And in my sub space, i am so turned on and completely intoxicated as he exerts his authority over me that i just want to orgasm right then and there on the spot. And when i need to touch myself (or try too hard to get him to touch me), i usually become focused on achieving that O a little too much, which of course, lands me in trouble where consequences ensue…. Which leads me to post here either about the sexual charge OR the punishment OR both!
My point though is that Domestic Discipline (DD) isn’t especially or necessarily about sex. It’s more about authority and control, but it often has a sexual-component to it too.
And specifically, as of late, i have now completed 4-consecutive nights of sleeping up close and snuggled in with Glory. (i do think that name fits.)
For me, wanting to encourage my Husband to fully take charge AND as i think about dressing sexy for him, i think the repressed inner-sexy-slut girl yearns to be let out. (Yes, women have been taught to be a “good girl” we are to be sexually chaste, but truly, we should be taught to let it out… especially for and with our husbands!).
So when David calls me his Good Girl that inner sexy-self does come out, and it all becomes so much about sex that it seems to be more of my focus.
AND LASTLY…. i’m not entirely sure if i would call this a “rule,” but maybe….
8-maybe-a-rule) if and when the rules are broken, to expect… and accept… the punishment that results. Frequently the punishment is a VERY-hard, make-me-regret-my-actions spanking. But it doesn’t have to be and isn’t always that either as the punishment can and often does reflect the transgression. (So is this a rule, or more of just what to expect when the rules are not followed!?)
i can’t think of any other rules, it if i have an “oh yah, i forgot…” moment, i’ll update this post.
So speaking of inner sexy-slut-GOOD-submissive-wife-girl… i need to go be and do all that now….. be a submissive wife …. While asking for the key to Glory to be removed in order to start my day! (For the record, officially Glory could stay on, as it’s actually able. But i really don’t like going to the bathroom and soiling her or me anymore than necessary either…. Yah, now i’m edging back toward chastity belt discussions… i’ll stop now. But just for now. 😉).
(How’s that for a Non-Glory filled post? Yah, ok… failed. Oh well. At least it wasn’t “just” about her either!)
Hugs,
Marie
199 – Variations on “Defer to his authority”
Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 199 – Variations on “Defer to his authority”
i have written wrote about “the rules” before and i am working on another such post. Our rules are set. Unchanging. And so,etc,es there there are impromptu or for-today or because-i-can rules set into motion too.
Ultimately these would fall under the general category of “deferral.” The fact he has ultimate authority and decision-making power means that he can set into motion any new rule he wants to. And my job is to defer to him and his authority. Now mind you, i trust he won’t set anything in motion that i would ultimately take disagreement to anyway… but he ever did, I know i can talk reason into him too.
Today he decided I needed to wear an anal plug to work. For no reason really.
Maybe the “reason” is to serve as a reminder that he’s in charge. Or maybe as a tangible and constant FEELING of his authority. Or maybe just to see if i’d obey, which i will. Or maybe he wants me to think of him allllll day.
Or maybe he intends to use that hole for his personal pleasure and is getting it ready today. Or maybe to get me sexually charged up with NO ability to do anything about it (i am headed to work after all!)
Or maybe to mess with my mind and make me wonder about all these things and it’s nothing at all.
Not only did he decide an anal plug would escort me to work today, but he was to be the one to put it in its place too. He said, “get a plug, get it ready (with lube), and get into position.”
This position means to bend over, spread my legs, and hold my ass cheeks apart.
He came and said, “what a pretty sight to see my little girl.” And with that, he picked up the plug and i felt the tip press against my opening.
i held my breath as he pressed it inside. I always know the EXACT moment it pushes past the sphincter muscle as the pressure immediately subsides.
Even though i knew it was in, i also knew not to move just yet. He pressed it deep and played with the plug just a moment saying, “it won’t go any further in unless I press it in. Do you like that feeling?“
Now, i wouldn’t say i liked the feeling, but i did like that he liked it! So by a roundabout, i did indeed like it. i told him this too. And he slapped my ass in a hard, but good-fun way, and said, “ok, free to go to work now.”
As i let go of my ass cheeks and stood up, i felt the plug position itself between my legs and deeply in my ass. He always has me wear a thong on plug days so it holds it in as far as possible too. In fact, the thong is really about 1-2 sizes too small, which makes the string part ride up between my ass cheeks further, so it serves its purpose even better.
As always, i said, “thank you Sir.” And i kissed him.
So now i am off to work. i have no doubt he will ask me a couple of times today how it is feeling, and of course, as the day goes on it will become increasingly less pleasurable. But the fact that he wants it there and i am his submissive and intend to do as i am told…. It will be in its place a very LONG time today.
Have an amazing day my friends!
Hugs,
Marie