Skip to main content

Tag: dd

181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

We got into a H-U-G-E fight yesterday afternoon. On Easter. Completely ruined the afternoon of an otherwise great Sunday. And the topic or reason for the fight…. was stupid. V-E-R-Y stupid!

i will tell you just how stupid……

Background first. We have a running phrase in my house that goes like this….. “when King Midas touches things, it turns to gold. When Marie touches things (with technology involved), it breaks.”

My computer has given me the “black screen of death” (that’s what i call it anyway) more times than i know. i have horned more computers (that break for NO reason) than anyone i know! My phone just randomly decides to do strange things too, like one day (recently) we upgraded our service provider plan. “All we have to do” is reboot the phone and it will take effect. Except when i rebooted my phone, the voice mail suddenly wouldn’t work… at all. Then i called the 800-help desk number and got it working. Until i hung up the phone and then my phone wouldn’t dial out even for a basic call! And the microwave broke when i was using it. The buttons just stopped working 2-months ago as i was pushing them. This is the same microwave that i blogged about last summer! It wasn’t even one-year-old! And….. and…. and i could go on, but you get the idea.

Well…. this past week my car had to go to the shop where they (apparently) had to disconnect the dashboard and after getting it back, all the (technology-related) settings were not set anymore, including my phone connecting to Bluetooth.

So David decided to reset all this for me yesterday afternoon. And when he told me this, he had my keys in hand and said, “let’s do this now.” And the fact he was going to do it “now” should’ve put my mind at ease (given my background about tech!), but instead… it sent my anxiety through the roof and to the next level.

He wanted me to go to the car and do it with him… THAT moment. Well, i wasn’t doing anything particular then, but i wasn’t mentally prepared to take on that tech battle either. (When i set the tech settings the first time, i had to read the manual! —— who reads a car manual with all 500-pages of it anyway?? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️. i had to… cuz i couldn’t figure out how to make the car not beep when… [fill in the blank]….. without reading it.)

i tried not to say anything. But then he said, “what? Are you afraid I’ll mess it up?”

i responded in truth…. “Yes.”

(When in reality, while that was how i was feeling overall… but it was more that “i was afraid WE would mess it up! And it gives me anxiety to do this…and i’m not mentally prepared for this… and and….”

And in that single word….. he and i proceeded to get into the biggest fight we’ve had in a long time. It escalated with us yelling things at each other that neither of us really meant and got to the point where he yelled, “I’m done! You are certifiably crazy!” And he got out a suitcase and started packing it to leave the house and go who-knows-where.

And in that moment, all i could really think was, “HOW did we get HERE? And why doesn’t he just say, ‘Assume the Position’ and spank me?”

And why didn’t he?

i think he was just THAT mad that he couldn’t. He would’ve ended up truly beating me of he had picked up the paddle. And our DD relationship….. to many people’s disbelief and have tried to argue with me on this blog and/or in emails to me… is NOT about beatings or abuse.

i probably should’ve let him leave…. and calm down… which he would’ve done. And he would’ve come back. But i wasn’t certain in that moment. i was doubting. And MORE anxiety gripped me.

Instead, i first told him how stupid it was that he was leaving. And i told him i suspected if he left, he wouldn’t come back or that we would never be the same. And when that didn’t exactly work, i eventually just (literally) clung to him …. and started crying and basically not allowing him to leave without dragging me with him.

(Yeah, i told you at the start… it was a DUMB fight. That escalated wayyyyyy beyond anything rational!)

But we did calm down. (He kinda didn’t have a choice when i was standing there arms around him, head dug into his chest, and crying….)

We are (still) living in the same house, slept in the same bed under the same roof, and all is “right” in my world again……

Mostly.

i haven’t gotten a spanking.

Yet.

But it’s probably needed.

And justified.

We shall see.

So….. Doms…… next time something seems “off” with your sub….. don’t go getting so angry that you threaten to leave your own home with suitcases in hand. Instead, tell her to Assume the Position, and spank her ass. Spank her soundly and hard enough to get the anxiety to subside…. and make her still go do the thing that needs to be done. Calmly. (Now to just say that to David… 😉)

Oh… and i’ll stop with the “keep calm” pics now… but seriously… it’s pretty appropriate for today’s blog post.. right??

Hugs,

Marie

170 – First Spanking of 2021.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Exercise and Chocolate, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 170 – First Spanking of 2021.

The first spanking of this year was not for maintenance. It was a discipline spanking and happened on only the 5th day of the year!

It was in the morning while i was still waking up. i was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and surfing the internet, when Sir started talking about the day’s agenda. He said, “I have a yoga instructor coming to the house for a 1-on-1 session.”

You should know that since April and the original Nationwide quarantine for COVID, he has been working from home and it works quite nicely for all. so he has a lot more flexibility in his schedule than i do with me working at an office. (Did you get the pun there… “flexibility” while being a post about yoga… ok, maybe just my silliness at work. Carryon….)

Now it was an innocuous statement all by itself, but it made me mad. He had quite literally never spoke about yoga until this moment, with the exception of (about) 5-years ago [pre-DD] when i was talking some yoga classes and asked him to go with me. He went twice and swore he’d never do it again as it was just not for him. So this was a shocking statement really that not only had he been thinking about it, but decided, contacted, and scheduled a 1-on-1 session too… without ever mentioning it to me.

Now he’s not required to tell me everything, nor am i to him. But of course, it seemed to me that he would have since we’ve been starting to try to be in better shape, exercise more, and lose weight together. AND he has quite literally sworn off yoga in the past.

i am still working to be at my goal weight for my 50th bday later this year. But with it being winter-season, it gets dark too early in the evening and i don’t like walking alone in the dark. i have a healthy fear of bad things happening in the dark outside while alone. So i have been (practically) begging David to walk with me at night after work since about October. Many days he’s relented, but some days he says no, making it a real challenge for me.

Somewhere around a month ago though, we have officially started walking together after work most evenings probably due to my relentless begging for him to go. And of course now with the New Year, everyone’s resolution seems to always be to lose weight, including his.

So now he is going to do a yoga-exercise-class without me???

Can you now see why i was immediately upset? Well, he didn’t. i said nothing out loud at all though. He had no idea i was triggered and now quite upset.

He kept talking and the next thing he said, that required my response about 2-minutes later was, “Should i make you some breakfast when i make make my own this morning?”

And unfortunately for me, i wasn’t able to respond in a positive way but instead i did so in a very snarky tone and words. My words were appropriate for my attitude at that moment……

i said, “Why? So i can go to the office and let the food just sit on my ass while you work out and lose weight without me??”

And that did it.

He said, “Go Assume the Position.” With the calmest voice you can imagine, which was almost disconcerting in and of itself.

Well, i happen to have been drafting a post to you at the time so i wanted to finish my thought and save it before going. He noticed the 1-minute hesitation and said in a raised and getting agitated voice, “N-O-W!”

So i did. Under protest. And definitely with annoyance and anger in my head and on my face and in the way i stomped to the bedroom.

When he came in i was in position, including with the paddle resting in the small of my back. But he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he opened the nightstand and pulled out the cane.

Yep. For Christmas i bought him a set of canes. We have never had or used canes before so this was going to be different. We both kinda wanted to try them, but it wasn’t until a good sub-friend helped me figure out which one(s) to buy that i decided to surprise him with it for Christmas.

When he opened the set of 3, he smiled and said, “this will make Friday’s more exciting for awhile!” And yet, this discipline spanking was the first he was trying it out.

When i felt the cane smack the first time, i cringed and flinched. He didn’t even hit me hard, but it wasn’t expected either. He had left the paddle in the small of my back and after i flinched he said, “Don’t let the paddle move! It stays in its place!”

And in my head i thought, “yeah right! That ain’t happening! And in fact when it falls, what are the consequences??” But thankfully i didn’t smart off out loud about that!

i felt the cane hit several times and it wasn’t without much actual force, but i sure did hear the distinct “swish” of the cane’s whipping motion in the air before it collided with my ass too.

In NO time at all, i was feeling the sting! He said, “And what’s with the attitude? I offer to make you breakfast and you smart off??”

S-T-I-N-G!

Ouch!

He said, “I asked a question and I expected an answer!”

S-T-I-N-G! again….. OUCH again!

i spat out the words, “you made me mad announcing you are doing a 1-on-1 yoga session without me, when you know i am trying so hard to get in shape and lose weight, especially this year with my 50th coming up. And you don’t even like yoga!”

S-T-I-N-G! a 3rd time again….. and a serious OUCH now!

i came off the bed and was more-or-less standing upright. The paddle fell to the floor. i mentally cringed. Now what?? i already feel the sting of that cane sooo much! And in truth, we both know he hasn’t even used it with much force or repetition!

He stood there and waited. He said nothing. i resumed the position. He said, “THAT was a good girl getting back into position, despite having not kept the paddle in place.”

i knew then that having lost the paddle would be a forgiven transgression. Now only to finish with the first transgression!

He said, “I was intending to find someone who seemed good for both of us and then to have group/family classes once a week. But I know I am less agile than you so I figured most any instructor would work for you! I expected you’d be happy that I got this sorted out without having to bother you with the details.”

S-T-I-N-G! a 4th and most painful yet. Not sure if it’s cuz the sting-factor is building or he used more force. He definitely has moved around on my ass and upper thighs, but man this cane has a biting sting! And yes, i came off the bed… again. And again, i resumed the position after catching my breath.

He continued, “are you still mad?”

Yes! I am! I see your point, but that doesn’t change my mind that you could’ve told me all this before I found myself in this position.

He smacked again and said, “Seriously? Are you not going to answer me? Again??”

i said in a calm tone, “Yes, i am still mad, but i am trying not to be.”

He said, “I can continue to swat until you aren’t mad. You need to tell me when you are not mad.”

Sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting.

Quick and swift, over and over, all around from top of my ass to the middle of my thighs.

Ok, i cry mercy!

“I’M NOT MAD…. SIR.”

“You sure?”… STING

“Oh yes Sir. I’m not mad, just wanting this to stop please Sir.”

And it did.

He stood me up, put his arms around me and said, “next time you get mad, instead of being silent or smarting off to me, you will just come assume the position and I will know. So we can avoid the smart ass tone, my anger and annoyance back, and a potential fight. I will spank you until you aren’t mad, so that you can speak to me in calm words. Am I clear?”

“Yes Sir.”

Ahh great. A New rule for the New Year.

But once again, i will tell you…. i know it works. i really was NOT mad anymore when i told him so. i really was able to talk calmly afterward. It really did allow me to refocus and speak kindly. He really did have the best of both of our interests at heart.

And so… when i am mad again next, i will just go Assume the Position…. and do so willingly.

And in case you wondered……. i had cane lines across my ass for several hours and felt the sting for much of the morning…. while he was stretching with the yoga instructor, i was squirming in my chair at the office.

AND….. he liked her, so we will start this next week as a family doing yoga together.

Cheers… to a new year.. a new cane… and a new start!

Hugs,

Marie

166 – Giving

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 166 – Giving

i follow many other bloggers and read their posts (just about) daily. One such blogger is SubMissy. She has an amazing site and she writes so very well, which is very inspiring. She also does blog post prompts to which i am going to now participate in….

CURRENT PROMPT IS……

This month is all about giving. All good relationships are based on give and take, so how does giving work in your dynamic? Or why not focus on what you have done this season to make giving a priority? How does giving work with your headspace and where does giving and receiving fit for you?

So here’s my post about GIVING.

We have all heard ……IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE …. and i wholeheartedly disagree.

Yep, i am writing about GIVING and yet, i disagree with one of the most well-known phrases about it. The reason why i disagree is, in my opinion, really rather basic.

IF WE ALL BUSY GIVING, THEN WHO IS RECEIVING? In order to allow someone to give, someone else has to (graciously and kindly) receive it.

i would prefer the phrase to instead to be something like, “GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECTLY DONE WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE.”

All to often, when we give to people, you hear the other one saying things back to you that sound like:

1) “oh thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this.” or

2) “You shouldn’t have” or

3) “But I didn’t get you anything” or

4) “I feel like your charity case”

i could go on, but i think these are prime examples of things that i have heard and probably even said at some point in my lifetime.

The trouble with all these is that if i want to give you something…. i needyou to accept it. With grace and thankfulness, not some awkward and strange reluctance or even flat out refusal (#1 above).

i love to give. But it takes an open and accepting and gracious person to receive those gifts in return to have us both feel good about it.

i give to people out of love. i often think, “i have more than i need, and their need is greater than mine at this time, so i want to give this to them.”

And frequently i have heard, “I’m not a charity case.” (#4 above) said back to me. It becomes awkward then. i typically say something like, “i didn’t mean to insult you” or “it’s just my way of helping.” And once i even said, “it’s better to give than to receive.” She said, “oh so now you are giving to me so you can feel better about yourself?” Uhmmmmmm. No.

Now neither the giver nor the receiver is feeling good about it, and honestly, quite the opposite has occurred! The negativity has now overtaken the entire situation. What started as something good, has turned sour in a hurry. All because there was a receiving heart to accept the gift that was freely given.

In my marriage though, we have a healthy give-receive relationship. i think most people think that a D/s relationship is all about the submissive giving of herself physically, mentally, financially, and the Dominant would be receiving of it all. While that’s substantially true, it works in reverse too. Sometimes i think most people wouldn’t really think about our Dominant as the giver also, but they are. And for him to give to me, i have to receive it with grace and thanks in order to complete the circle.

So i kind of want to turn this prompt inside out and talk about how my Sir gives to me and my responses to him. At least that’s where i start, but i end up with me giving too! You’ll see. 😉

PHYSICAL GIVING

My husband cooks and i clean. i NEVER COOK. And we are both quite happy with this arrangement. Neither of us really ever expects the other to do what we aren’t good at and we are grateful for the skills and gifts we have to offer the other.

But cooking isn’t the only gift he regularly gives me. Yes, he gives me spankings. Regularly. If you read my blog, it is chopped full of stories of punishment spankings and maintenance spankings in order to maintain our dynamic. Domestic Discipline (DD) is alive and well in our relationship. By intention design.

In other posts, i have also said numerous times, “i do not like to be spanked.” And it is true. But i accept it, in part because i see it as a gift from David.

He has taken his time and physical energy, to spank me. It is (one of) his gifts of love to me, along with his amazing chef-like skills too. He does it (a spanking) with love in his heart and the ultimate goal of guiding me in the way we want our marriage to go. To keep us on track and to keep doing good.

He cares about our marriage and me enough to give me spankings.

But how can he give me spankings if i don’t accept it with grace and thankfulness? It wouldn’t work at all. Can you imagine me saying, “oh you really shouldn’t have. I can’t accept this.” Or better, “But I didn’t get you one.” ??

Giving simply doesn’t work without someone else receiving. And preferably receiving with a grateful and thankful heart. So i receive with a thankful heart.

When we are done with the spanking, every time he stands me upright and hugs and kisses on me. And he tells me how much he loves me. He gives me hugs and kisses at the end of giving me a spanking.

He has never made me thank him, but i typically do. i want him to know that while this was a physical gift that i may not have wanted, i know he does it because he does indeed love me. And i agreed long ago to accept it openly and lovingly. So i thank him in order to give him reassurance that this gift he’s given is accepted with a loving heart in return.

*** Did you see what i just did there? i said, “i thank him in order to GIVE Him reassurance” about his gift to me. So in the mere act of receiving, the giving has now been turned back inside-right by me giving him something too.

He doesn’t seek my thanks, but he receives it with grace and pride too. It creates in him a feeling of pride and appreciation when i give him reassurances of my willingness to accept the gift he’s given me.

So ultimately a grateful receiving heart ends up turning into a gracious giving heart, creating a full and complete and perfect circle of giving!

Okay, yes, he also gives me physical/tangible/ real gifts. And i do my very best to thank him for all of them, as he does in reverse. And of course, this works in the perfect circle too.

One of the gifts i gave him for Christmas was a set of canes. We have never owned any canes so this will be a new experience for us both. We have talked about it, but neither of us has gifted the other with a cane, until now.

He finds these gifts oddly strange of me to give. He asks me, “Why would you give me a gift of something that will bring about the very thing (a spanking) that you tell me you don’t want to have?”

My answer is simple, “Because you love me enough to guide me and i accept these spankings as a reminder of who we are together. We grow together in our DD relationship with reinforcement of what we know works.”

And it’s true.

That’s when he gave me a devilish looking grin and said, “I can’t wait for Friday’s Maintenance now!”

MENTAL GIVING

While he is physically giving me a spanking, i am mentally giving him my submissive heart, mind, and soul.

A spanking with a paddle stings. It is maybe best described like a bee sting or a needle prick. It hurts, but on,y for a split second and it leaves behind a heat that is felt for awhile thereafter. And that’s just one swat, which a spanking never is. As the swats continue, the sting builds as well as the heat it generates to.

From the very start, i have to tell myself to relax and accept this gift he is giving. i mentally pray before we start as i wait for him to come into the room and that prayer typically shows something like, “Lord help me to accept this spanking with grace and understanding that it ultimately comes from his guidance of me, through your guidance of him. Please Lord give him the confidence and strength to lead our family and me especially in the ways you want us to go.”

At some point during a spanking endorphins release and i actually do start to accept with a thankful heart each swat he delivers. It starts to feel good. My mind relaxes and it brings me into the best receiving heart and mind possible. My thoughts move from, “But i didn’t get you anything” to “Please never stopgivingme your all!”

GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECT ONLY WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE

So maybe you can see that while maybe the giving part is the start of the circle, it also requires a receiving part. And by receding the gift, you are simultaneously giving your thanks. And that original giving person is also receiving your praise and graciousness. The circle is complete.

No one is ever JUST giving or receiving. It has to be a complete and perfect circle for it all to work. You have to give AND receive… always.

If you are guilty of saying these things that I mentioned above…. STOP. Instead, say something like:

1) “oh wow, I’m so grateful for your kindness.” or

2) “This is so amazing.” or just a simple…

3) “THANK YOU!” Is always perfect too.

And genuinely mean it, from a truly receiving heart!

(Oh and final thoughts on this day…… as we say goodbye to 2020, this year was a gift….. yes, this year has been incredibly hard but it is a gift to be alive, to have friends to miss, to be thankful for the times we can and eventually will be back together, and an opportunity to have a receiving heart for better times ahead with enormous thankfulness!)

Hugs,

Marie

163 – It’s a dildo day

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 163 – It’s a dildo day

In my last post i mentioned wearing a dildo to work.

i will tell you all about what happened….. and in the end, ask you again, “Am i a sex slave and submissive wife? Or just slave? Or just a submissive!” Where the line from sub ends and slave begins is my unanswered question at the moment.

But maybe it’s not really important what title i (or you) put on it. It just might be more important that i was following a directive from my Sir. And i was submitting…….

He said, “Bring me the inflatable dildo.”

Yes Sir. And i did.

He said, “Spread your legs.”

And i did.

And he pushed it up inside me. (i wear no panties, per his instruction from long ago. In fact, he took them away and i haven’t seen them since. i can’t wear them if i wanted to.)

He said, “Set an alarm for 60-minutes. Every hour, you will pump the bulb twice. And then report that to me in person or text.”

“Don’t miss or forget to do it, every hour. Both the pumping and the reporting.”

And he grabbed the pump bulb and squeezed it 5-times to give a start.

And off to work i went. The entire dildo fits right up inside me, but after it is squeezed many times and it inflates it becomes difficult to keep it inside. When i mentioned that to Sir, he said, “squeeze your legs tight to keep it inside.”

And that’s basically what i did. i had to or else it would have fallen out … into my pants and would’ve slid down my leg until it came out. NOT happening to me while at work!

Every hour. All day. The alarm went off, i gave two good pumps, and texted, “Another hour. 2-more pumps.”

By the day’s end, i had received 25-total pumps. The dildo was quite large. It felt fine while inside. But when i had to take it out for a restroom break, pushing it back inside was a major effort for sure! It i wasn’t going to disappoint my Sir, and i followed his instructions to the T.

And mid-way through the morning, in addition to the dildo, i received a text. It said, “Time to edge.”

i stared at it for a minute and texted back, “at work? Now?”

And he texted back, “Yes. That’s what i said.”

Thankfully i have my own office and have a birds eye view of anyone approaching, so i pushed my hand down in my pants and found my clit. i rubbed it until i almost exploded. i was at “the edge” of orgasm. And i wanted it. i wanted that orgasm.

It took everything in me to stop. But i did.

Why did i stop? Because i am a submissive (or a slave?) and i was told to edge. i was not told to orgasm. Orgasms from my body do not belong to me. i agreed long ago to never orgasm without permission. And i haven’t been given permission on this day to do anything other than go to the edge of orgasm.

i texted and said, “i have done it. But i really want to cum.”

He texted back, “Good girl. No. Do it again. Now.”

Holy crap. i did it again. It took about ONE minute and i nearly went over the edge. In fact, for a split second i actually thought i had gone over the edge (and orgasmed).

i felt panic rise in me. You see, because i am submissive, i want to please him. And had i gone over the edge, i would’ve felt badly. You’d think i would enjoy an orgasm and relish in the moment. But no, i would have no pleasure in an orgasm that is not allowed. And i wouldn’t want to see Sir’s face when i had to tell him i orgasmed without permission.

i was relieved when i knew that i had … quite literally…. gone to THE EDGE but had NOT gone over.

i told Sir all these things and he was quite pleased with me.

He said, “You will receive your reward when you are home. Now two more pumps and don’t forget to continue.”

By the end of the day, my puss was sore and stretched. But i was happy!

Upon getting home, Sir said to lay on the bed and wait for him. When he came in, he played a bit with the dildo pushing it further in and back out again. When he pulled it out fully, he commented on just how inflated it was and was impressed.

Then he put all five fingers inside me and pushed all the way to his knuckles. And pushed in and out. Then while in, he moved his fingers rapidly.

i begged him to allow me to cum. When he said no, i responded with, “Please Sir… either stop or allow me to cum… otherwise i will go over the edge without permission and i do not want to.”

He smiled and said, “Orgasm all you want.” And his fingers moved easily inside me and he felt me squeeze and release all over them! He kept going and i felt the ripple of more orgasms flow from me freely.

When he pulled out, i was exhausted.

We were both disappointed that he couldn’t get his hand all the way inside me, but we have determined his hand is simply too large. He said he will find a female suitable to do it for us, and when he does, he will take pictures. i will be ready!

i followed orders and was rewarded with multiple orgasms at my Sir’s hand… quite literally. i pleased him and he pleased me!

That all happened yesterday. Today, my puss is sore and thankfully allowed to rest. Will wait to see what tomorrow holds.

So what do you think…. submissive? Slave? Some combination of both? Or does it even matter….. i do as i am told, and i am rewarded. And when i don’t, i am punished. i happily accept both!

Hugs,

Marie

162 – submissive or slave?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 162 – submissive or slave?

i have always thought of myself as a submissive, but at times i’d say i exhibit signs of being more like a slave.

What’s the difference?

Well, everyone probably has their own definitions really of what a submissive is versus what a slave is. But i would say it has everything to do with the amount of control the sub/slave has. A sub has some, whereas a slave has none (or very few!).

No matter what titles we associate ourselves with, we all have the right and control to say NO. And we all should respect that when we hear NO from our partner(s) it is final! So i am not talking about consent at all. Because a slave has willingly consented to giving up the control to make all decisions on her own and yielded everything (or mostly everything) to the Master. But while a submissive has given up most control, definitely not all.

Now, i want to also clarify, i am not talking about real-life-slaves. i am not talking about like it was in the US 1800’s and Civil War times. i am talking about the kinky submissive (or slave) lifestyle. Where the slave has willingly given up control. Not that it has been taken from them, like it was for the real-life slaves that was done then.

In that same sense, some might say a submissive is indeed owned, but a (sex) slave is instead not just owned but possessed.

A submissive has safe words, while quite frequently a slave has consented to no-consent, giving up those safe words.

A submissive has the right to sit where he/she wishes, whereas a slave is typically on the floor by her Master’s side.

A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave.

THAT is how i define the difference between a submissive and a slave.

With those clarities in mind……. i have always thought of myself as submissive. But lately, i wonder if i have “slave-like-tendencies” too, especially when it comes to sex.

i have come to the thought that maybe i am a “submissive wife and a sex slave.” Or at least, i want to be. i want to be a submissive wife AND a slave lover to my Sir. So in general life, i am a submissive. But when it comes to sex (or anything intimate at all), i would love to call myself his slave. i say this is how i’d like it to really be, but it’s a hard balance.

When it comes to daily life, i don’t believe it is possible or even practical to be a slave. To be frank, i don’t know how that actually works for most people. Maybe the slave is a stay at home wife and can be naked, chained up, stuffed with a cock, crawling on the floor, and eating out of dog/cat bowls. But none of that is practical with a job or kids. And maybe not all of that would apply to every slave either too, but the point is made too.

So for me and my life, with a job and a kid, it seems being submissive is the best way to LIVE. i defer to David on decisions effecting me and/or our family, i ask him permission to do and/or go places, and i (try!) not to argue. And should those things fail to happen properly, i am punished, which typically comes in the form of a spanking but not necessarily just spankings.

But now the second part….. when it comes to sexual activities or alone-time, i would like to give up all control. i would love to serve him in the ways he deserves and possibly prefers. i think he tends to feel valued and appreciated more when i am pleasing him, in life AND in sex, which leads to positive synergies for both of us…. in bed AND out!

And maybe that’s where we kinda operate (best) already anyway. We already do some of these things as it is.

Like when he says get naked, i do. When he says to edge, i do. When he says do not orgasm until he says i can, i don’t.

When he says i am to be spanked, i have only once called yellow and it was intentional on Sir’s part. He wanted to test me. But even then, i wasn’t aware of his intentions and i was trying very hard not to say it.

So i guess i don’t know where the lineeeeeeee is between sub or slave. At what point do you say, “i am a sex slave to my spouse!!” ?? Or are all these just other examples of being a good submissive and not a slave at all??

Today is another example of a sexual slave-like thing that i did to please my Sir. Today…. i am at work. And i have an inflatable dildo sex toy inside me.

Sir said, “you need to bring it to me before going to work.”

So i did.

He said, “spread your legs.”

So i did.

He pushed it up inside me. Gently. Not painfully.

He said, “you’ll wear this all day today. Every hour you need to give it two strong, good pumps. I want it very pumped up by the time you get home. You should feel the stretch. The point of this will be to stretch your pussy, but i expect you’ll likely have some pain as it trains your muscles to relax.

You should NOT take it out or release the air at ALL today, without permission, with the exception of bathroom breaks. Even then though, do NOT release the air. It needs to go back in the exact same way it came out.

This will make me happy. Will you willingly comply?”

i said, “yes of course Sir. Thank you Sir.”

And i was dripping wet! Knowing he is happy makes me soooo happy and soooo wet too!

Why is he stretching my pussy? Well, he has always said my puss is way too tight. When i orgasm, and he is inside me, i tend to squeeze tight and ultimately push him out. It isn’t at all intentional!

So he says we need to stretch it out to not have that happen and to allow his “cock to have a warm, inviting place to stay….” and i agree wholeheartedly! Even if it will hurt and be sore by the end of the day, it is well with my soul!

My puss belongs to him all the time, but especially today!

Does my willingness to stretch it out and feel some pain, with a smile on my face and knowing how happy we both are with this, move my sex-temperature from being just a submissive to being a sex slave? i just don’t know……

But i think i have no/few limits as to our sex-life, and rarely use my safe words. In fact, i try very hard to NOT use them and instead, to accept his will as my own. i trust he will know my limits and/or ask if he is unsure, to which i will always answer truthfully.

While he has never ordered me naked and on the floor by his side, if he did, i would do it. Willingly. Happily. And without a single complaint. Most days anyway, and of course, not when our son is around or when i need to go to work. So there are limits within the no-limits-for-sex zone, which probably puts me back to my first thought that i am just a submissive because sex-slave isn’t really practical.

So again, do these sexual tendencies make me a slave for sex? or maybe a part-time slave and a full-time submissive or maybe just a submissive who likes a strong Dominant in the bedroom or ……

Yes, i am indeed getting caught up in terms and labels. But i am just speculating and thinking out loud about these things too.

i will likely explore this topic further in future posts too. What do you think? Where is “the” line? Is it possible to be a submissive for wife duties and a slave for sex activities?

Or maybe i’ll tell you more about my day with the dildo. Which would you prefer to hear more about? 😉

Hugs,

Marie