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267 – Oh my wow

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 267 – Oh my wow

So David could’ve easilyyyyyyy just spanked me. But he didn’t.

He could have easilyyyyyyy administered any punishment he wanted! But he didn’t.

Instead, he granted me grace. And time. Time to sort myself out.

Time in the belt, without release, without getting my demands (to produce the key) met. Time to accept things. Time to adjust my attitude. Time… to submit.

After i posted that i was having a bratty, temper-tantrum day, several of you told me how i was wrong. i knew i as wrong, even as it was happening, but i couldn’t seem to stop myself from a downward spiral!

Admittedly after making that post AND your comments, i made a true effort to improve. i took on the “fake it til you make it” attitude.

David noticed. He commented with skepticism about the “sudden improvement.” He was right at that moment, as i WAS faking it. But i figured that to make any effort, even if it was a forced fake one, was better than not trying at all!

i also knew it (probably/ hopefully) wouldn’t take long and i would slip into my submissive groove… where the “make it” part became my reality! Of course, i had to (actually) truly try first!

And boy did it pay off!

David had told me last weekend that he “watched a porn video and saw a non-sexual toy that the girl used in a sexual way…” and that he ordered it for me. i had no idea what that could even mean, let alone actually be.

He had told me then it was a surprise and was to arrive yesterday (Saturday). Well, i had forgot all about it actually. So in my temper-tantrum, bratty self mode, i didn’t even consider the fact i may lose this surprise gift if i kept it up.

After i posted to you all about my stupid attitude, i told him about your comments. He was MORE than pleased to have your total support!

As predicted though, we got into a (small) battle of stubbornness. He told me if i “went swimming in our pool (with him), he would take the belt off.” i already knew the pool temp was low 80’s and the air temp was high 90’s, so the water would feel chilly. i HaTe being CoLd. So instead of taking that bait, i politely said, “No thank you Sir.”

He shrugged his shoulders and with a smile said, “Suit yourself then!”

And again, i questioned if i was right/wrong/ indifferent. This time it WAS a choice he gave me though, and for me, it was a lesser-of-two-evils! Because i was already adjusting my attitude about the belt and submission to Sir, i had gotten “ok” with wearing the belt for whatever duration he prescribed. And i hAtE being cOLd!

The day wore on and he made comments about the belt, my stubbornness, and the possibility (or lack thereof) of me being released.

Like when i needed to get a few things from Walmart and told him i was going there to get them. He inquired about what things that was, and he added, “Do these things you need include a metal bolt cutter (to cut off the lock)?”

And when i was home, i said, “my trip was successful! The metal cutters worked well!”

To which he responded, “yah right! I know better than that!”

Then it came time for Saturday night, fall, college football. Specifically David’s favorite team: LSU. They were playing an in-state school, who they had NEVER played, so it was more of a commemorative game than a competitive one. But we watch LSU whenever it is on!

After the first quarter score resulted in a LSU record for most points scored in any quarter ever, i asked Sir if i could give him a blow job. He said, “not until halftime.”

Midway through Q2, i got on the floor in front of him with lotion and began rubbing his feet in a relaxing massage motion. i was naked, save the belt of course. i pressed his foot against my breasts, while kneading his calf muscles. i was intentionally flirting with Sir.

As the quarter moved along, i did too. Timing my upward movements to coincide with the game clock.

When the clock finally wound down to zero and it was halftime, i was ready to pull his cock from his pants. Instead though, Sir said, “stand up.” i questioned him, “why? It’s halftime (and time for your blow job.)”

He gave me a look that said, “really? Are you seriously going back to this morning’s brattiness?”

The look was enough. i dutifully stood without another word.

He produced the key to the chastity belt, and said, “take it off. Spread your legs, close your eyes. And wait.”

Uhm. Ok.

So i did.

He returned and placed a high intensity vibrating round foam roller massage thingie between my legs, then he guided me backward to the couch, and said, “sit on it until halftime is over.”

i was intrigued and definitely surprised. David saw the joy in my face and said, “after the way you’ve acted today, you probably don’t deserve this surprise. But you did pull yourself together and I already had this planned out.”

He continued, “you know how I really don’t enjoy halftime. I think you can provide something of a better show that I’d prefer to watch.”

It was about 30-seconds in that i thought, “there’s NO way i will NOT orgasm before the end of halftime.” So i told Sir this, to which (thankfully!) he said, “you can have as many orgasms as you want or need. Just don’t move off the toy until I say you can.”

i lost count. i was in orgasm heaven. i went over the edge, with permission, somewhere around 6-8 x’s!

i dare say i did put on a good, live porn show for him. And that he was pleased with my halftime performance!

i didn’t touch myself with my hands, nor did i have penetration… both of which i really wanted! i did beg him to allow me to get off of the roller and to let me climb on his cock. He said no.

At one point, it turned itself off. i may have moved it to press the button, but it was unintentional. So i took it, still between my legs, over to Sir (who was sitting on the couch straight cross from me), and he turned it back on…. And moved it up to Level 3!

That was when i really had most of the orgasms. But since i was close to David, i sat on his couch… with the thingie between my legs pressing firmly on my clit. And i pulled Sir’s shorts off and started giving him that blow job too. i was ravenous in my sucking. What i felt between my legs, was manifested in my mouth and onto his cock! And his member responded!

When halftime was over, so was i! And i was thankful to be done as his pussy and my body were exhausted!

i went to our room and prepared for bed. He came in a bit later and said, “the belt can stay off for tonight. I don’t think you have enough energy now to touch yourself. I think you’ll sleep well now too.”

And he was right.

i suspect the next time i question his authority, i won’t be treated so kindly. i won’t have good surprises, or his grace.

This time though, this is exactly what i absolutely needed…. To feel loved and appreciated. And while he held his ground (and did not produce the key until he wanted to), i was firmly made aware that he did it from a position of love.

It’s made me realize that good things come to those who wait…. Patiently, submissively, and respectfully.

There (hopefully) won’t be a next time where i (stupidly) question his key holder decisions… and merely accept it!

Hugs,

Marie

266 – just call me Little Miss Stubborn!

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i am acting out today. i don’t entirely know why i am acting this way, but i am. And David is unimpressed.

So far i have escaped punishment, but i think if i continue to carry on this way it will not end well for me.

So i told you in my last post that at the end of our Maintenance Friday session, Sir told me to put on the chastity belt. And i did.

i slept in it last night and have worn it all day today. i have no immediate end in sight either. Mostly because of my own attitude problems!

This morning, David went off to play golf and i stayed home. Unless you count the belt, i have stayed naked all day today. And in the process of being alone, and in my own mind, i have managed to get myself angry that i am still locked up.

i texted David while he was golfing and asked if i could have the key. When he asked me why, i didn’t have a good reason and so he said No.

And as the day has worn on, the obsession with getting out has become my sole focus. Every time David commented on something, related or not, i managed to bring it up. And the answer has been “no” every time.

Twice now he’s asked me, “Do you need to Assume The Position? Because we can cure you of this attitude.” To which i responded with, “i don’t want to,” but admittedly, my behavior would suggest otherwise!

At one point, i texted Sir saying, “i am throwing my own (mental) temper tantrum over being in this belt. i don’t want to wear it anymore today.”

i continued, “if i were a toddler, i’d be in hysterics and screaming, while crying, “let me out!” And if i were a teen, i’d be throwing down anger while screaming, “this is stupid. You are being unfair and untrusting! i don’t deserve this.”

He didn’t care. And that made me madder still.

He said, “Remember. You did this to yourself.”

When i responded with on,y the word “ok” was when he asked me the first time if i needed to Assume The Position. Maybe i should’ve said yes, as he’d likely let me out to be able to spank me!

Now since he’s been home, he smiles a wicked smile at me and keeps on walking. Once he did ask if i NEEDED to be let out. i told him MENTALLY i do. He said that wasn’t a need worth entertaining.

Then another time he asked me, “why exactly do you want to be out?”

And the thing is, i don’t really know. i think it’s just the fact that it doesn’t seem necessary. Or maybe it’s because he’s home, so he should want it open to play with. Or maybe it’s because i feel like he’s not trusting me. Or maybe it’s just because i do!

When I didn’t really have any answer at all, he said, “you just want out to play with yourself and there’s no reason for that as I’m not allowing that at this time.”

Now you’d think this would be enough for me to get my head screwed on straight. i mean, really…. i have no valid reason for wanting out. i agreed to submit, so… submit already!

And if that submission means he wants HIS pussy locked up, then it is what it is! i should be happy and thankful that he cares enough to lock it up!

i know all this. i know it’s fact. i know it’s nothing i want to change.

i just ALSO want to be unlocked. Or maybe i just want to know when i will be unlocked.

Maybe it’s that i just don’t know when the lock will be sprung. In the most recent long-time locked sessions, i knew it was because David was out of town, AND i knew when he would return. So i could (and did) mentally prepare myself to get to the finish line.

But NOW.

Now i don’t know when or where the finish line is! It might be in 5-minutes or 5-days!

Unfortunately you’d think i would just get into my submissive mind and be ok with this. But instead, while i am done pouting and screaming and throwing a temper tantrum…. i am getting to the Stubborn-stage. i am now digging in my heels.

i now am like, “fine. See if i care. i will wear this belt and you get denied too! Because while i can’t play, neither can you!!”

And i know he knows that i am now becoming stubborn. He asked me why i was. When i shrugged, he laughed and said, “ok. That’s fine.”

The thing is, David is just as stubborn as i am! He can (probably) hold out longer than me on this one as HE HAS THE KEY.

And even if he wants to use me, he can produce the key, unlock, use, and relock at his will.

Frankly, he has NO reason to let me out before i change my attitude! All he has to do is sit back… and wait.

i know…. This is SO stupid on my part. i don’t hold the key and i don’t have any idea where it is! And i got myself into the belt for suggesting to David last night that he shouldn’t allow me to orgasm. AND i have agreed to submit. AND this belt is comfortable (overall). AND there is NO reason to be out….. Except that i want to be!

We shall see, but i won’t be surprised if i am in this belt tonight too. Hell, at the rate i am going… it may be tonight AND tomorrow night too! i may hit a new high for the length of consecutive time in belt!

i am going to try to change my attitude. i know it’s in my own best interest!

Hugs,

Marie

264 – Privileges are earned

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Uncategorized. No Comments on 264 – Privileges are earned

i am locked up now for 12-hours already, and 24-more to go! If i thought 24-hours was a long time before, this will be 50% more than that!

David had to go out of town again for another one- night trip. Unlike the last one where he was gone from 7a to 7a, at just 24-hours total, this trip he’s to be gone from 7a to 5p, or 36-hours total.

But before i was locked in my chastity belt, he used the electricity dildo on me this morning before he left where i had 4-continuous orgasms and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

He had about 30-minutes before he had to leave and as he was preparing to do so, he grabbed up the new dildo and told me to “climb up on the (kitchen) island and spread your legs.”

So i did.

His tongue went straight to my clit as the dildo went straight inside me. OMG! And then the vib was turned on. And then the electricity part was turned on.

My eyes rolled back in my head and my head flipped back and i squeaked out the words, “may i please come Sir?”

And he said, “well, I suppose.” And he laughed. Always joking!

That was all the words i got out as the electricity caused my cunt to contract and then spasm over and over again. i couldn’t really quite tell where one orgasm ended and another started! i think it was 4, but may have been 5 or even 6! (Who knew electricity INSIDE was devine, but OUTSIDE just hurts! How is that even possible?)

Then he said it was time for me to get dressed for work.

He asked me if i was going to be a good girl while he was gone. i said i wasn’t too sure, because now that i had some … i wanted more! i am insatiable when it comes to orgasms!

That’s when i said rather sheepishly and unsure of why i was saying it, “Maybe i need to be locked in chastity while you are gone Sir.”

He said with some skepticism, “that may be difficult to do. You will be locked for about 36-hours. Can you handle that?”

“Sir, i think i don’t trust myself. This is probably what i need.”

“Ok, then that’s settled. Go lock her up and bring me the key!”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

And that was that.

As the day progressed, we texted as we do. i told him about some of the blogs i have read about women in chastity. He was intrigued.

i told him about one blogger who has said if her Master isn’t using her cunt hole, it’s locked up. He has fucked her anally while she’s still in chastity (although he apparently didn’t like the restriction caused from the belt, and opted to take it off even for anal fucks thereafter too!)

i told my Sir about this and he was now seriously interested. i asked him if he would ever consider locking me up when not in use, and his response was, “depends on how good you are.” i wasn’t sure i wanted him to do this or not! i just wanted to know what he thought about it though too.

When i inquired further, we ultimately came to the joint agreement that “being out of the belt needs to be considered a privilege, and appreciated, and respected.” (And that i shouldn’t beg to be out of the belt either… as again… that’s a privilege to be earned!)

i told Sir, “i could get on board with that!” And he said, “GOOD!”

So it’s possible that Sir will start locking me up when i am not in use. And i will be thankful when i am let out too! i am intrigued by this, although admittedly i am unsure if i want this or not, but i will accept whatever Sir ultimately decides too.

While time will tell what we ultimately do here, i think this is so fucking sexy! i see being locked up, with my Sir holding the key, as one of the most submissive things i could ever do. Not allowing myself, or anyone else, to even physically touch, let alone sexually touch, what belongs solely to my Sir is so fucking hot to me!

As i walk in chastity, i feel the belt between my legs, around my waist, and moving with me. It’s like he is with me 25 (or 36!) consecutive hours, all the time, reminding me that this puss belongs to him … and him alone!

And now tonight i have been texting with him, where i learned he had a happy ending massage in his hotel room. He thought of me sitting, in chastity, in the corner watching. If i was a good girl, he’d let me touch one or both of them, but would not be allowed to orgasm … as i was to watch not (totally) participate, not to mention in chastity. When i asked him if he would have let me out of the belt he said, “nope! Not a chance!”

That was so fucking hot and i told him that too. i then said to him, “i now want to get out of this belt and ride a big dildo to orgasm all over it.”

And he said, “uh no! Remember, this is keeping you from yourself! You’ll sleep well tonight knowing how safe you are.”

Uh no, i won’t.

“i’m not sure if your denial (in refusing to tell me where the key is and not allow me out of the belt tonight) makes me happy or frustrated or both!” is what i actually said in the text.

He wrote, “Good!”

And he’s right. It is good!

My submission is deep. About as deep as i could possibly get, yet i yearn for more too!

As i sleep alone tonight, in nothing but my chastity belt, i could not be happier (and couldn’t be more desirous of an orgasm as well)!!

i am hopeful Sir will use me tomorrow night when he’s home, but if he chooses not to, i pray he continues to keep me locked up with the key hidden from me until he feels it appropriate to let me out.

Because….

Being out

is a privilege,

to be earned and respected!

(PS,,, i went looking for the key. i don’t need out, but wondered if i could find it too. i guess i was that curious. i didn’t find it. He didn’t hide it in any of the usual, expected places. i suspect i might’ve been disappointed if i had found it. It’s good to know i am truly at his discretion and he (literally) holds the key to ME … and my heart!)

Hugs,

Marie

262 – Today i am mad.

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i got very mad at Sir tonight. And tomorrow, i will be spanked for it.

i said NO! to Sir. i know i don’t do that. But i did. Intentionally too!

Because i got that mad at him.

So we have streaming tv. And his dad, my father in law (FIL), sometimes dials on and watches specific shows on our service. When he does that though, it turns off what we are watching.

Well Sir is out of town and it happened while i was watching a tv show. i got a message that said, “You’re watching tv on too many devices in too many locations.” It gives me a choice to click on continue watching or cancel. If i continue, it will knock my FIL off again. And while i could do that, he will get that message and hit “continue watching” himself and it will knock me off where we play a tv version of ping pong.

So i got pissed and i told David so. i said, “this is stupid that we share tv service with your dad. We can afford to pay for our own service, and so can he. i should be able to watch what i want, when i want.”

i got a message back that said, “CHILL OUT!” Well, i didn’t.

And while David showed me an alternative way to get the show on that i wanted, i told him, “i got it on now, but i am still mad. This is stupid!”

To which he said, “well tell him.”

Now i wasn’t mad at my FIL, but at David. David gave him the password and he used it. My FIL didn’t do anything wrong.

So i said, “No. i told you.”

i waited.

i saw he read it.

About 5-minutes later, i got a response.

It said, “Are you telling me no?”

And i wrote (very boldly and confidently), “Yes Sir. i did. Because i am that mad.”

He wrote, “ok. When you see I’m leaving the airport (to drive to our house), you will Assume The Position.”

We have Life 360 app where i can see where he is and vice versa. i will have to watch the app to see when he’s leaving though as the airport is not a saved place. Only the saved places will trigger an automatic notification to me and he knows this. So he’s making me watching the app to know when he’s leaving the airport, in addition to the spanking now too.

Fine. i don’t care!

“Yes Sir.”

And then i got another message that read, “And you’ll wear the (chastity) belt from now until I leave the airport tomorrow to. You will not orgasm at all!”

Fine. i don’t care about that either!

“Yes Sir.”

And i put it on, even though i contemplated not doing it. While he won’t know exactly when i put it on or take it off, he will know if i don’t wear it. The belt leaves indentation marks on my skin that would be missing if i were to not wear it. The indentations are not permanent, and the belt doesn’t hurt but it does have to be tight enough to be effective. So it presses against my waist line, and leaves marks. i have noticed there seems to be a correlation between how long i wear the belt to just how long the marks stay. So i almost have to wear it for the duration prescribed if i am to take it off when Sir leaves the airport (and for it to be long enough to have the marks still be present when he gets home).

And now we aren’t exactly talking. i’m not sure if it’s a lull in the conversation and communication, or if he’s that mad that he’s not speaking to me. Although i am pretty certain it’s just a lull. Either way, right now, i am happy for the break to recoup and regain my composure.

Tomorrow’s spanking won’t be easy, or light, or maintenance. It’s going to hurt. And i am ok with that… at least right now anyway. i’ll wait to see if or how badly i regret this tomorrow!

UPDATE:

i did discover, even last night, that Sir was speaking to me and said good night and that he loves me. (Just doesn’t love my anger!).

We talked more and i told him that i was mad at him, not his dad, which is why i told him NO that i would NOT tell his dad not to use our service and that he could pay for it himself.

To which, David started typing….. i saw the little bubbles. i got a bit anxious at his response as i was entirely sure that i should NOT have probably revisited this whole topic in the first place, but rather let it be what it was to be. But then also, i was openly telling him how mad i was and (while not in so many words…..) was also saying how wrong i thought David was in doing this.

Then i saw his response.

“In all your anger, have you forgotten all the money they’ve given us with (XY and Z). Not to mention, when I share codes with your family, you don’t seem to think that’s problematic. I don’t think what I’ve done is so egregious that it warrants your anger or defiance. You do not need to ever tell me No like that again.”

Ugh. He’s SO right! i have forgotten.

While i don’t necessarily agree with how he’s chosen to be kind and repay their graciousness, he’s not wrong at all. i am.

And i apologized. And i told him he is right.

To which he didn’t respond. But he didn’t need to. We both know where we both stand.

And i also know that a regretful, remorseful, raw butt will ensue. And to that end, we both know i will accept it, as it is appropriate to do so.

Ugh. Now i am dreading tomorrow….. but….

It is what it is now.

Hugs,

Marie

256 – Friday – my New (Old) Normal

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This week is mostly done. And so far, i have held myself together … mostly. Okay, kinda sorta.

And so far, i have escaped a spanking. Mostly. Unless you count Maintenance Friday, then i definitely did NOT escape a spanking. (It hurt! It needed to. i truly needed it to. i was much happier afterward. Helped to screw my head on straight!)

But before this morning…. My emotions have been ALL over the place. i’ve been extremely happy for our son, extremely sad for me, and incredibly angry and annoyed with David.

But then also incredibly in love and happy with David too.

David has made me very well aware that i am NOT using the word Sir enough. He’s made me aware that i am “only a submissive when (i) want to be!” And he’s allowed me to be emotional. He’s allowed me to be a Mom who is sad and NOT the best submissive wife i desire to be.

But then he reminded me of the commitment I made to be submissive by spanking me today. On this Friday. We resumed Maintenance.

This week, another submissive blogger than i follow (and admire) blogged about respect. It stuck. She wrote some good stuff and it made me start thinking about how DISrespectful i have been this week.

She mentioned that the #1 thing men seek in a wife is one who shows respect to him. And related, the man wants her to show appreciation for him too. i did a google search and found a LOT of support for what she wrote. It may inspire me to write more about respect another day. But for now…. It reminded me today that i need to be more respectful.

i need to adopt and accept my new normal. And that new normal is more respectful, appreciative, and responsive to David! i mean, he is my #1! If it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t have a son at all to be happy or sad about!

In this new normal, i was spanked this Friday morning. Okay, so that’s the old normal too, but it was good to have a reminder that i need to: 1) respect for the way we do things is still the right way, 2) respect for David as the man of my life, and 3) my Son is in his place living his best life.

And that spanking is my grounder. i am spanked because i need it. i am a better woman, wife, and mother after i show respect by saying Sir, loving my husband, and ….

Getting naked in my living room every night now too. Yep, that’s part of my new normal too!

There’s good AND bad when things change. But accepting and even embracing the new normal is the way forward. In the nude. In my living room, with David staring at my boobs, touching my clit, and denying me the orgasm i seek.

i love it! My new and old normal!

Hugs,

Marie