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Author: Marie

272 – God sent me a Sign

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You either laugh or you cry. i chose to laugh. Seriously, i didn’t cry.

Today started out like any ordinary Thursday day, until it wasn’t. i had a lot to accomplish at work, so i was out of the house a bit earlier than usual. i got to the office, settled in, and started digging in.

About 10:00am, i was in the midst of checking one of the three big tasks i needed to accomplish off my list. As this client is old school paper-people, i printed everything out, got it organized, and was putting it in the drawer for them to come pick up.

That’s when things went awry.

i opened the drawer to the file cabinet and the motion of the drawer must’ve been just enough to unsettle the wooden sign (in the picture above). The motion caused the sign to come crashing down from its spot atop of the file cabinet.

Now that wooden sign has sat on top of this cabinet for about 4-years without ever moving at all. Suddenly, it came down, landing on my forehead, causing a 1-inch cut on my head.

Well everyone in the office heard it and came to my rescue asking me if i was okay and tending to me. After i put my hand to my head and it came away very bloody, and then the blood started streaming down like a faucet left open, they declared that “NO, i was definitely NOT ok!”

Head wounds bleed…and bleed… and bleed. AND BLEED!

A 1-inch cut caused 3-paper towels to be soaked, along with my neck, arm, shirt, some on my pants and even on my shoes and the carpet. It looked like a small massacre had happened!

So off to the ER they whisked me away. Because the gash was on my head, they all got concerned about me having a concussion and making sure i didn’t pass out or go to sleep.

Meanwhile, i am in shock. NOT from the trauma or the pain, but actually the lack of it! When the wooden sign hit my head, it felt like it does when you (say) walk into the wall or when a tall person’s head doesn’t clear the door frame. Yes, it hurt, but nothing that sends you to the ER. i genuinely thought it was just a bump.

When my hand was all bloody i was quite surprised. i mean, it did hurt, but in a “that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise” kinda way. Not in a “OMG get to the car! We gotta get you to the ER before you bleed out!” kinda way.

Of course, my co-workers assumed i was in shock from the pain and thought i was delirious. When in reality, i was trying to make sense of it all. i was thinking, “Really? My head has a cut and this blood is flowing out? It feels like a bad bump. Why isn’t this hurting more for the amount of blood?”

i have decided the ER is a strange place.

You go screaming out of your house, down the road, driving there as fast as possible…. Only to arrive and to sit….and wait. And wait. AND WAIT!

i walked in with bloody clothes, bloody hand, and holding a bloody towel on my head for them to say, “please have a seat. We will be with you as soon as we can.” Glad i didn’t bleed out in the waiting room!

And i was then put into the hospital-ER-station-assembly-line process.

First into the triage nurse. He cleans up the wound, throws away my bloody towels, and proudly says, “I don’t see an opening. I’m not too sure there’s much of a problem.”

To which i replied, “well the blood didn’t get to the outside of my body without an opening somewhere.”

i don’t think he appreciated my comments, but he didn’t respond either.

Then to the next station, where another nurse tells me “oh this looks bad. We need to order a head CT to check for a concussion and you are going to need stitches!”

To which i replied, “oh yah? You can see an opening? My head has a hole to which my blood is spilling out of?!”

She didn’t understand the questions and started to explain herself, but i cut her off and explained my comments. i don’t think she liked my explanation.

Then the next station’s nurse started asking me questions about my pain level. “On a scale of 1-10, rate how bad the pain is.”

i must’ve paused too long thinking about how this isn’t hurting as badly as i think it should, but it’s definitely hurting more than it was before. Maybe the adrenaline is wearing off now, causing it to hurt more, but still not terrible so maybe this wound just isn’t that bad either. i mean, it felt like a bad migraine at this point and it was hurting in ways i wouldn’t have expected… like at the base of my neck on the back side. Maybe i do have a concussion after all. But i have definitely had worse pain too.

Well i guess the exaggerated pause caused the nurse to repeat her question giving clarity to her scale measurements. i finally just said “5 or 6. i guess.”

Finally several more stations later for a CT that the results showed i do not have internal bleeding and no brain swell, and another station to add 3-stitches on my forehead which is quite visible for anyone to see for a whole week, and finally an insurance and discharge stations too….

i had officially spent 3-hours of my life, that i will never get back, in the ER and finally told i am able to go home.

My sister then said, “you must’ve asked God for a sign. He sent you one!” yes, yes he did!

And my nephew said, “I think the sign came off it’s hinges.” yes, the sign does have hinges that came undone.

And when we got home, my husband said, “maintenance will be interesting tomorrow.”

Wait, what?

“Sir, i am glad you offered, but i think i will pass. It might hurt my head.” And i laughed.

He shrugged. Then he made a point to say, “I’ve never hit your head, you managed to do that today all on your own.” Or by falling signs from God.

An hour later, “can i orgasm tonight? Will you touch me please Sir?”

“Oh no, you definitely can not. That will most certainly hurt your head.”

Wait, what?

“It won’t hurt my head. It has nothing to do with that area.”

“Yeah, well, neither does maintenance.” And it was Sir’s turn to laugh.

i said, “but it’s been awhile since i last orgasmed, pleaseeeee Sir.”

To which he said, “Then just wait till you have to wait for the end of October to come. Just think how long that will be! October is going to be a very long month, isn’t it?!”

Wait, what?

“Starting this weekend, after we are home from visiting our son, even though it will technically be Oct 2nd, we will start locking you up for October. This will be fun!”

Oh my. Locktober sounded great, until it didn’t. What was i thinking?

“Will i get to orgasm before Sunday then Sir?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet.”

My “sign” from God today was pretty thick, made of some solid wood. It didn’t quite get through my thick skull, but it sure tried.

Hope it doesn’t hurt much tomorrow… the site of the wound or my rear with Friday Maintenance!!

Praise God it wasn’t a deeper or more troublesome wound… in the hallway.. or in the ER!

Hugs,

Marie

271 – Locktober is not cuming!

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If you’ve never heard of it, it is a single mashed-up word that means “Locked (in chastity and denied orgasms) during the entire month of October.” Or some combination thereof.

Locked in Chastity for a solid month is not for someone just starting out. You don’t just buy a belt (or a cock cage), put it on, lock it up, and forget about it for a month.

In fact, for women especially, it’s important to take a break for hygiene for at least a few minutes pretty regularly. As well for both sexes, it’s also a good time to clean the belt thoroughly and inspect for any skin irritants with treatments if needed.

But i kinda want to try it. i can tell that i want – maybe even NEED – to have lock and denial for an extended time frame.

So i mentioned it to David this past week. His first reaction was “uhhh. No!”

Ugh! Ok, scratch the “need” part as it seems that ain’t gonna happen! i won’t lie, i got a little deflated but i didn’t complain.

i did ask him to elaborate where he said, “you’d never last a month! But even if you did, I wouldn’t!”

i must have had a look on my face that expressed my thoughts which were, “why do you think i would never last…. And just because i don’t get release or orgasm, wouldn’t mean you wouldn’t get to.”

He said, “I like it when you are happy as you earn an orgasm. Besides, I like to watch you when you actually orgasm. And I like to be the one allowing you to orgasm.”

“Oh. You do? You like to watch me orgasm? That brings you pleasure?”

“Yes”

Oh wow. i never knew. Okay, interesting!

So after i let all that information sit for a series of minutes, i decided to ask David if he’d consider a modified Locktober.

When he inquired what i may have in mind, i said, “how about i am locked for the duration, unless you use this (your!) pussy for your pleasure. And if you allow me to orgasm, so be it. But if you decide to just play with it and not allow it to cum, that’s ok too. And except for you playing with my pussy or for hygiene or for walking/exercising, i am locked up.

Additionally, there would be no masturbation of any kind. No assumption of release until Nov 1, and no reason to ask or talk about it otherwise.”

He is still thinking on this.

His main response was, “when will the new belt arrive?” To which i have no exact time yet, but i have been given assurance from the Fancy Steel team that it will be shipping very soon. He listened but did not respond. He looked as if he was going to consider this, proposal. And while i don’t know his answer yet, i think he will say yes.

Why would i want to participate in this?

For several reasons actually…… here’s my thoughts:

1) Deeper submission. Any time i have a task at hand with a goal to accomplish, it gives me an incentive. Incentives to comply and to be a better submissive is always a positive “carrot instead of the stick” type of way to do things.

2) Challenging. This task would be a huge challenge. While i have had some practice now with the CB, going (mostly) locked for a full 31-days would be huge. It would be a big accomplishment if i were able to do this without (begging for!) release!

3) Unknown if/when O denial. If we do this modified version of Locktober, i may or may not get to orgasm. i would have incentive to want to do well in hopes of, but no guarantee of, gaining an O. Extended denial usually is a good thing for me, and makes me want to be better to get to that reward. i don’t know what would happen if i KNEW there was NO way to get one for an entire month (for sure).

4) i like my chastity belt. My belt fits quite nicely. It keeps me from masturbation of any kind. It gives me a “You are not allowed to touch! This is not your property!” type of mentality. Even when it first comes off, i usually still retain this mindset, at least for a little while anyway.

i feel safe in my belt. While it does keep me physically safe, i mean this is more in relation to the mental aspect. i know my belt keeps me safe from myself and keeps me from being bad.

5). My new belt should be here soon. Locktober could make for a nice introduction for me and my new belt to become up close and personal friends.

i could go on ….. but i hope i am headed for Locktober, even if it’s a modified version to meet David’s needs and desires along with mine, where i could tell you more as i experience it too! And if we don’t do Locktober, that’s all good too because then i have some level of assurances that i get to cum sooner than later!

And…. Well… it seems to be a “thing” that lotsssss of people around the world do, and now i could be apart of this once-a-year activity!

i have about 3-days left in September and we shall see what Sir decides! (and i should mention i am currently locked as i write all this! Interesting that i want more!)

270 – Going with the flow.

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i managed to keep my mouth shut (or i should probably say i kept my fingers away from the texting keyboard)! i did NOT text David into a provoked fight and/or earned discipline for myself!

My butt was saved!

Yah, just like a bad car wreck that you can’t keep from gawking at when you go by on the freeway, i am sure the spanking and discipline stories are much more juicy to read about than me being a good submissive wife!

But alas, today, i can only tell you that the freeway traffic is uneventful, flowing as it should, and nothing to report.

While i don’t honestly think you wanted to hear about “nothing” happening, i think a submissive wife’s successes need to be acknowledged too. i was a good wife. i abstained from going off about my inability to use the tv. i got over my annoyance and anger about it without speaking my mind in a negative (or harmful to my ass!) kind of way.

As a submissive wife, i try HARD to think about this question before speaking my mind about anything …….

“Does it even really matter?”

And honestly, there are very few times that it does!

Think about it….

When he makes a wrong turn in the car on the way to (anywhere). Does it even really matter? Well… it could if he doesn’t correct the course but he will. And there’s no reason for me to tell him when Google maps will do it for me. So again, does it even really matter (if i say something about it)? Nope!

Or how about when he leaves his shoes in the living room? Well … we don’t have company coming over, it’s not in the way of anyone walking, and while it does unnecessarily clutter up the living room, does it even really matter. So another “Nope!”

Or how about when he is watching tv and he gets bumped off for the same reason i did? Does it even really matter? Well… in this case, it might.

Wait, what? It might matter?? What do you mean??

Well, i’m glad you asked! It matters this time because N-O-W he experiences the same frustration i did….. but…. Wait for it…..

N-O-W i can learn how to click the right combination of buttons, and find an alternative way to watch the same show withOUT the anger and withOUT the discipline.

Okay, so i didn’t lie… it might matter. In this case, it might matter in a good way, depending on how i word my statements about it. If i were to say, “ha! Now it happened to you, how does it feel?!” i would assuredly be “Assuming The Position“ rather quickly.

However, if i just sit and wait… he will say to me, “now I see how you feel.” And i didn’t have to say a thing!

THAT is exactly what happened. i saved myself by NOT texting, and i got more than i bargained for. David was locked off, and was able to teach me how to get the tv to work in an alternative manner.

I should mention how David made a point to say, “while I see how you feel now, notice I didn’t get angry??”

Yes Sir. <<< came out of my mouth.

i get it. <<< did NOT come out of my mouth!

But despite avoiding a spanking, i have not had a Big O either.

David came home from his trip sick. Today the doc said he has strep throat and prescribed antibiotics. That was about 8-hours ago and while he is already feeling the medicine’s positive effect, he’s not feeling good at all still.

While he let me out of my chastity belt, i have not been able to orgasm. And this pussy is cranky about it. i have felt her dripping, pulsing, aching, and twitching. She wants attention and i can’t give it to her.

Too bad, so sad! Get over it!

Yah…. she didn’t. Soooooo rather than bug David about this, which i know would only serve to severely irritate him, i just quietly put the belt back on.

While it’s kept me from masturbating, it hasn’t kept me from wanting to masturbate! i still want to. But something about making it just that-much-harder to do, i have refrained.

i slept with it on last night, but took it off for the day-work hours. Then i put it right back on again when i arrived back home and am preparing to sleep in it again.

i don’t even think David realizes it, as he is so out of it that he just hasn’t even seen or registered that it’s on. Or maybe he has seen it and just doesn’t care enough to say something about it. Either way, i’m not too sure it matters. (And there’s no reason to say something to him, because it just does not matter.

The point is, i am STILL in chastity, still not orgasmed, and still being good about it.

Yah me! <<< definitely NOT said outloud and all in my head!

i suspect it may be 1-3 more days yet til David is truly feeling better. But that probably won’t matter as then we will be to the weekend, and we are going to see our son at college. i pretty well doubt much of anything sexual, like orgasms, will take place. Ugh. Might be almost a full 2-weeks without the Big O! Hate that! Ugh.

My pussy wants attention. But so far, she’s been kept in check.

So as mentioned…. nothing to see…. move along now…. All is flowing (except the Big O!) and going as it should be., with me being a good submissive wife! Got away clean!

Hugs,

Marie

269 – Deja Vu. Big O or big W?

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i read a blog post recently, written by a woman about her submissive husband. She wrote the post to fellow (male or female) Dominants about how you know when to end a spanking. She talked about how the spanking shouldn’t end with tears, begging to stop, promises to be a better sub, or even a red ass.

She said a spanking should end when you (the Dom) feel “that your sub has learned their lesson sufficient to not have to repeat the punishment for the same infraction for at least a month or more.” And if you do have to repeat the punishment, the second spanking should be “that much more.”

And today i am almost in the exact same position that i was in less than a month ago. While i am hopeful that this will end differently, i am just stubborn enough that i really don’t care if it ends exactly the same!

In fact, part of me WANTS to press it, be a brat, throw a temper tantrum, and … well… essentially dare David to spank me! But, then again, i don’t want a big W (whipping/spanking/punishment).

Another Saturday. Another time where David is out of town. Another day i want to watch tv. And another day that i am booted off.

And another day that David is texting me about alternatives. And telling me to calm down and click here and push that and …. Well…. i just don’t care! It shouldn’t be THIS hard to watch tv.

The biggest differences between then and now…..

1) David had not discovered the power of the Whip. The Whip came a week after the paddle spanking, which came as a result of the tv debacle…. All of which was just 2-weeks ago at this point!

2) i have the chastity belt on. This trip out of town has been fully locked up. i did get an email from the Fancy Steel team saying the good belt is expected to ship in the next week or so. i am getting super excited about it. i am getting used to wearing the belt a lot more now, but i think the new one will fit that much better too.

You’d think when I was in belt that i would not feel sexual urges. No. i want an O even more. It’s the idea of telling me i can’t have it, makes me want it even more. But it just ain’t possible in belt,

3) While i WANT to be a brat about this, i am trying hard to refrain. David KNOWS i am mad. But instead of me going on about all this in text, i simply said, “i have zero desire to get my ass whipped. So i am fine.”

He knows i am NOT fine, but he also knows this is my wee small stand without throwing a real temper tantrum too. i am refraining.

And this is really better in the end. As maybe i won’t get spanked tomorrow when he gets home. i say maybe because the night is still young. And David is still not home. And i am still not over this. i am choosing to tell you rather than him, because i am confident that if i tell him all this, he will tell me to expect to be spanked upon his return.

A-N-D because David has me in chastity AND because he now knows how to wield the whip while i am in chastity, i suspect the punishment won’t be a repeat with the paddle but rather a repeat of The Whip.

And let me tell you, that Whip was NO joke! i felt those whip marks on my ass for nearly a week! There were two specific spots that had a deep tissue bruise that took awhile to fully recover from. It was effective!

In spite of how hard that Whipping was, believe it or not but i didn’t cry during that whipping. Tears were starting to form and my breathing was shortened, but as all that was happening he stopped. Thankfully.

i can only imagine that if David were to take the Domme’s advice about making the second punishment for the second offense inside a month tone “that much worse”, and if he were to do it with the whip, while in chastity just HOW bad it would hurt.

i have NO doubt i would be in tears.

i am glad i am telling you about my deja vu moments today.

Instead, maybe, with any luck… when David returns home i will be released from belt to get a big O, instead of staying in belt to get a big W!

Let’s hope i can change my destiny!

Hugs,

Marie

269 – WANT versus NEED

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“Do you NEED to be let out (of the belt)?” was the question my Sir just asked me.

This is after wearing it all day yesterday and all night last night and all day today. Unless you count the 20-minutes i was allowed to be out for the shower this morning, i have been continuously locked now for 38-hours… and counting.

Yesterday morning Sir said, “you’ve been out long enough, now put it on.” For no particular at all, he just said as much. i complied. It went on without complaint.

i was actually happy to put it on really. When i don’t have it on, i start to miss it. And it had been off for about 24-hours already.

As mentioned in my previous post, by the end of the day i kinda wondered if he even remembered i had it on as absolutely nothing was said about it the remainder of the day.

Usually he plays with me as we relax on the couch in the evenings. Last night, however, he said he wasn’t feeling terribly well. He was tired and feeling washed out. i was disappointed the belt didn’t come off, not because i WANTED it off, but rather because i was looking forward to being played with.

i kinda expected this would mean the belt would now stay on overnight, but i wasn’t too sure. So as we were then in bed, i casually asked if he wanted to “see his pussy.” He laughed and said, “yah right, nice try.” And that was that.

Remember your (unofficial) mantra…. I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT. One that is not afforded to me right now.

So i smiled and said, “ok, just offering.” Because i will be a good girl and NOT BEG for release.

And we went to sleep. i have slept in the belt before, so this wasn’t new or unusual or problematic.

About 2am i woke up and was touching myself. NO, not my puss, it was covered up! Instead i was rubbing seductively on my leg and the edge of the belt and ….. WANTING to masturbate. WANTING to orgasm. WANTING the belt off.

I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT….. and that privilege does NOT include masturbating (without permission) anyway.

Now i wasn’t happy at all that the belt was on. i felt those previous thoughts of resentment towards the belt creeping in. i recognized it for what it is this time and squashed it down though. i did not NEED the belt off. i was just a sexually frustrated submissive wife, being properly held in check!

“Go back to sleep and get over yourself!” i did go back to sleep, but not a restful or solid sleep either.

This morning i did ask Sir, “can i use the key to be released for a shower?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you Sir.”

The entire time i was in the shower i wrestled with my mind….

“i could leave it off today, and it probably would be ok.”

“Maybe i NEED to ask if it’s okay to leave it off.”

“If he WANTED it off, he would’ve said. I WILL NOT BEG.”

“But he did allow it off for the shower.”

“Yah, and JUST the shower.”

“Maybe i should ask.”

“WHY do i need to ask anything? You know if he WANTED it to stay off, he would’ve said.”

And i do not NEED to have it off. i only WANT to have it off.

While i was in the shower, per usual, i took the shower head down off its (magnetic) slot holder and waved the water over my clit in a very seductive way. i do this daily. It is a form of edging that is quite effective. i don’t touch myself with my hand, usually, but rather the water does all the work. Its not enough to get me to orgasm, but it sure is arousing.

While i was in the shower today, i let my left hand hold the shower head, while my right hand touched my clit. i decided a little closer to the edge wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.

And i rubbed on myself. Damn this feels good. A little more. You can go closer to the edge. Go faster. Yah, that’s it, that’s it…. That’s…. STOP RIGHT NOW!

And as hard as it was to pull my hand away and stop, because i WANTED that O so badly, i did.

And I got out of the shower, dried quickly, and …..

So i put it back on.

As i covered his pussy up, i apologized to her. i told her i was sorry i teased her that way but now she’s to be a good girl and be put away until Sir WANTS to see her again. She pouted. i didn’t blame her.

After i was at work, i texted him and told him how i wrestled with the decision about what to do about the belt …. ask/not or leave it off/ put it on. But how i ultimately decided to put it on, and when he’s ready for it to be off, he will tell me. i ended the text with, “did i assume correctly Sir?”

“YES! You did good.” was his response.

As the day wore on, i realized (at times) i had forgotten it was even there. It is becoming like a second skin. It fits snuggly and doesn’t move. That’s a good thing. When i had it a bit larger, it moved and sometimes chaffed. The tighter and more restrictive, the better. It feels better, but then it also works better. It’s way more difficult to get a finger under the plate when it’s snug and fitted than if it were looser.

i like the way it hugs me tightly. i love having a secret at work that no one knows except for me (and my Sir). It turns me on to be his submissive wife, wearing his CB to protect what is his!

i thought about how i do not NEED to take it off, but i still WANT to though too. i know though that to say the ONLY reason i WANT it off is to orgasm! It’s really here for a reason and it’s a good thing. Really, it is!

i really WANT to ask David, “when will you allow me to be released?”

But i won’t. Why? Because i can’t figure out a way to ask that i won’t be BEGGING FOR RELEASE! How do you say, “when will you allow me to be out of this belt?” without sounding as if i am begging? And if i were to get a release, i would then beg to be touched and beg to orgasm. And begging is unbecoming of a good submissive wife.

I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE.

And … i need to submit to his authority on this. He will tell me when the release will happen and until then, i NEED to accept it.

i really do love the way this CB feels and the way it does it’s job. It keeps me in check. i wish i didn’t NEED it and that i was strong enough to not touch myself or orgasm without permission, but i just don’t think i am.

As i was on the way home from work tonight, i was thinking about how i just KNOW he’s going to produce the key and release me once i get home. i have never gone two consecutive nights with it on, so i am sure he won’t have me do it now. Besides, i am sure he knows how needy i am to orgasm, so he will probably indulge my NEED.

When i got home, he was on the couch watching tv. i went and took off my clothes and remained naked. i walked into the living room and i heard a groan of approval. i laid on the couch and snuggled up to him.

i tried to touch his cock but he stopped me, saying, “No. Not tonight.” Apparently his allergies are kicking his ass and that’s the cause of his lack of energy and not feeling well. Ugh. i really WANTED to touch his cock and slide it down my throat too. i am so in NEED of him sexually, that even if i don’t get a belt release or O of my own, i WANTED him!

So instead then i turned where i was on my back, leaning against his chest, and i opened my legs. He said, “that ain’t happening either. Unless you NEED to be let out. Do you?”

“Do i NEED to be let out? i would have to say no, Sir.” was my response.

“You don’t NEED to orgasm?”

“Oh yes, i would love to. But i think that’s more of a WANT than a NEED.”

He laughed and said, “you really ought to learn to lie about your NEEDS more. I was going to let you out to masturbate and come. I’m afraid you are going to bug me too much and I’m not feeling up to it.”

I WILL NOT BEG FOR RELEASE. IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE OUT OF THE BELT….. and that doesn’t include bugging Sir about orgasms too. Or include lying. Or include making a WANT to have an orgasm somehow turn into a NEED.

But i soooo WANT to orgasm! This belt is seductive as it touches my clit all day long, loving on it, yet denying it anything more at all.

Now he’s taken some decongestants and allergies meds and gone to sleep. And i am in belt still.

i couldn’t lie about NEED VERSUS WANT. i really WANTED to lie.. to get a release from the belt AND to orgasm. But i couldn’t.

This is now going to be the longest continuous time in belt ever.

This is good for me. It’s a challenge. More of a mental one than a physical one. To NOT BEG. And to tell myself i do not NEED to orgasm, it is only a WANT.

Besides we get what we NEED, not what we WANT. And i’d say what i really NEED is to be in belt and not out. Discipline is good, even if it has to be forced upon me with this belt still in its place. i love this belt and what it does for me.

i will be off to sleep now. And thankful for what i have, and not upset about what i do not have (but surely do WANT).

(And to think, the permanent, really nice chastity belt isn’t even here yet. i may NEED to orgasm more after it arrives!)

Release will happen soon. Release from CB and the O i so desperately NEED… ok, not a NEED just a WANT. Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow.

Hugs,

Marie