You either laugh or you cry. i chose to laugh. Seriously, i didn’t cry.
Today started out like any ordinary Thursday day, until it wasn’t. i had a lot to accomplish at work, so i was out of the house a bit earlier than usual. i got to the office, settled in, and started digging in.
About 10:00am, i was in the midst of checking one of the three big tasks i needed to accomplish off my list. As this client is old school paper-people, i printed everything out, got it organized, and was putting it in the drawer for them to come pick up.
That’s when things went awry.
i opened the drawer to the file cabinet and the motion of the drawer must’ve been just enough to unsettle the wooden sign (in the picture above). The motion caused the sign to come crashing down from its spot atop of the file cabinet.
Now that wooden sign has sat on top of this cabinet for about 4-years without ever moving at all. Suddenly, it came down, landing on my forehead, causing a 1-inch cut on my head.
Well everyone in the office heard it and came to my rescue asking me if i was okay and tending to me. After i put my hand to my head and it came away very bloody, and then the blood started streaming down like a faucet left open, they declared that “NO, i was definitely NOT ok!”
Head wounds bleed…and bleed… and bleed. AND BLEED!
A 1-inch cut caused 3-paper towels to be soaked, along with my neck, arm, shirt, some on my pants and even on my shoes and the carpet. It looked like a small massacre had happened!
So off to the ER they whisked me away. Because the gash was on my head, they all got concerned about me having a concussion and making sure i didn’t pass out or go to sleep.
Meanwhile, i am in shock. NOT from the trauma or the pain, but actually the lack of it! When the wooden sign hit my head, it felt like it does when you (say) walk into the wall or when a tall person’s head doesn’t clear the door frame. Yes, it hurt, but nothing that sends you to the ER. i genuinely thought it was just a bump.
When my hand was all bloody i was quite surprised. i mean, it did hurt, but in a “that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise” kinda way. Not in a “OMG get to the car! We gotta get you to the ER before you bleed out!” kinda way.
Of course, my co-workers assumed i was in shock from the pain and thought i was delirious. When in reality, i was trying to make sense of it all. i was thinking, “Really? My head has a cut and this blood is flowing out? It feels like a bad bump. Why isn’t this hurting more for the amount of blood?”
i have decided the ER is a strange place.
You go screaming out of your house, down the road, driving there as fast as possible…. Only to arrive and to sit….and wait. And wait. AND WAIT!
i walked in with bloody clothes, bloody hand, and holding a bloody towel on my head for them to say, “please have a seat. We will be with you as soon as we can.” Glad i didn’t bleed out in the waiting room!
And i was then put into the hospital-ER-station-assembly-line process.
First into the triage nurse. He cleans up the wound, throws away my bloody towels, and proudly says, “I don’t see an opening. I’m not too sure there’s much of a problem.”
To which i replied, “well the blood didn’t get to the outside of my body without an opening somewhere.”
i don’t think he appreciated my comments, but he didn’t respond either.
Then to the next station, where another nurse tells me “oh this looks bad. We need to order a head CT to check for a concussion and you are going to need stitches!”
To which i replied, “oh yah? You can see an opening? My head has a hole to which my blood is spilling out of?!”
She didn’t understand the questions and started to explain herself, but i cut her off and explained my comments. i don’t think she liked my explanation.
Then the next station’s nurse started asking me questions about my pain level. “On a scale of 1-10, rate how bad the pain is.”
i must’ve paused too long thinking about how this isn’t hurting as badly as i think it should, but it’s definitely hurting more than it was before. Maybe the adrenaline is wearing off now, causing it to hurt more, but still not terrible so maybe this wound just isn’t that bad either. i mean, it felt like a bad migraine at this point and it was hurting in ways i wouldn’t have expected… like at the base of my neck on the back side. Maybe i do have a concussion after all. But i have definitely had worse pain too.
Well i guess the exaggerated pause caused the nurse to repeat her question giving clarity to her scale measurements. i finally just said “5 or 6. i guess.”
Finally several more stations later for a CT that the results showed i do not have internal bleeding and no brain swell, and another station to add 3-stitches on my forehead which is quite visible for anyone to see for a whole week, and finally an insurance and discharge stations too….
i had officially spent 3-hours of my life, that i will never get back, in the ER and finally told i am able to go home.
My sister then said, “you must’ve asked God for a sign. He sent you one!” yes, yes he did!
And my nephew said, “I think the sign came off it’s hinges.” yes, the sign does have hinges that came undone.
And when we got home, my husband said, “maintenance will be interesting tomorrow.”
“Sir, i am glad you offered, but i think i will pass. It might hurt my head.” And i laughed.
He shrugged. Then he made a point to say, “I’ve never hit your head, you managed to do that today all on your own.” Or by falling signs from God.
An hour later, “can i orgasm tonight? Will you touch me please Sir?”
“Oh no, you definitely can not. That will most certainly hurt your head.”
“It won’t hurt my head. It has nothing to do with that area.”
“Yeah, well, neither does maintenance.” And it was Sir’s turn to laugh.
i said, “but it’s been awhile since i last orgasmed, pleaseeeee Sir.”
To which he said, “Then just wait till you have to wait for the end of October to come. Just think how long that will be! October is going to be a very long month, isn’t it?!”
“Starting this weekend, after we are home from visiting our son, even though it will technically be Oct 2nd, we will start locking you up for October. This will be fun!”
Oh my. Locktober sounded great, until it didn’t. What was i thinking?
“Will i get to orgasm before Sunday then Sir?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet.”
My “sign” from God today was pretty thick, made of some solid wood. It didn’t quite get through my thick skull, but it sure tried.
Hope it doesn’t hurt much tomorrow… the site of the wound or my rear with Friday Maintenance!!
Praise God it wasn’t a deeper or more troublesome wound… in the hallway.. or in the ER!