Skip to main content

Author: Marie

292 – i was bad, and now we are good

Today is Friday. i haven’t had a maintenance spanking in a longgggg time. It was middle of September the last time i was spanked for maintenance purposes.

While it’s been awhile since i wrote about the Types of Spankings, when i re-read it tonight, i would say it’s all still true.

Maintenance Spankings work. They hurt. They are intended to. They are preemptive in curbing bad attitudes/activities before they get so bad it has to be punishment. They are also reminders of what could be worse if i keep on doing bad things. (i also think maintenance does David good too. He wields his hand and exerts his authority. He’s reminded how to be Dominate every time too.)

Today’s maintenance was needed. Much needed. Probably a good two weeks or more overdue!

i was reluctant to tell David (or even suggest) that he needed to spank me. Because i try hard to NOT tell him how or when to do his job. i know i have tendencies to Top From The Bottom. i have tried VERY hard to stop.

But it puts me in a quandary of not being able to get what i need without asking too. Of course, the key word in that last sentence is ASKING, as compared to TELLING. If i ASK, i shall receive. But it’s wrong to TELL or demand or command. Admittedly, i have not mastered the skill of “just” asking…. Yet. But i am working on it too!

When i don’t get spanked, i get antsy, cranky, and generally stressed out. i know that sounds dumb. But it’s so true. My anxiety goes way up as i am left to my own devices. When i am spanked, i am brought down a notch, reminded to be submissive, and the endorphins are released bringing about stress-relief.

My biggest wish is that David would see how good it is for me and be CONSISTENT to do it when it’s needed. Or on a routine schedule. Or both.

Well… usually… when he is consistent…. It’s done on Friday’s. We decided that ages ago. It sets the right tone for the weekend and gets things started “right.” But as mentioned, we haven’t done it in a long time. But today, we did.

As i was in the shower, i was debating, “do i ask to be spanked or not?!” And i thought, “i am just going to tell him how much i need it.” And then i thought, “that’s the wrong way to do this. Go ask him to do it.” And then i continued my mental battle by saying, “but if he says NO, it’s going to be a full-on meltdown for me.”

So, i had no clear path forward but got out of the shower anyway. Right about that moment, David came into the bathroom and greeted me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss too. Then he straightened up and said, “I need to do maintenance. Go Assume The Position.”

Ok. That settled that!

So i didn’t say a word and just did as told.

He used the riding crop. It started out smooth and tame and even easy. Then it became more intense with swift strikes to my ass.

As i started to feel the heat rise in my butt, i was squirming around a lot. David is always standing as i am on the bed, so he was in a prime position to use a single hand to press down on my lower back causing me to be pinned between the bed and him. i was no longer able to move.

He struck my bottom over and over.

i could tell it was doing it’s job and calming my thoughts. i was focused on nothing but holding still, enduring what i knew i craved and ultimately needed, and taking it with grace and submissive acceptance.

Eventually i was to my breaking point and was begging him to stop. Begging never works. i do have safe words. When i call “yellow” it is to signal to David that i need him to give me a break, or to slow down, or otherwise consider stopping. Ironically, i can’t seem to find the right words to ask to be spanked, but a single word is all i have to utter to give David a proper and kind request to slow down. But he still has all authority to continue or to stop, until i say the word “red.” So he retains control the whole time. Wish i had a single word to start in the same way i have a word to stop!

When i couldn’t take anymore, i uttered “yellow Sir!” And he decided to stop entirely. i suspect if this was a full-on punishment, he’d not have stopped at all. But i was grateful that today he did stop.

i was still in position when he spoke a question that we both knew was rhetorical. He asked, “are you wet?!” And his fingers found their mark. My body always betrays me by releasing my juices every time i am spanked. i don’t feel turned on or sexually aroused by the spanking, yet, my puss always tells another story. He knew he’d find a dripping wet pussy as he touched it.

He left his one hand on the small of my back as his other hand’s fingers primed my holes. i felt a finger enter my front and another invade my back hole simultaneously. And then he began to hold me in place as his fingers started to stroke my sex. It took just a minute or so before i begged my Sir if i could orgasm, and after he said yes, i let all my juices flow freely.

After i recovered and came to my senses fully, i thanked my Sir properly.

He could tell my mind was then “thinking” and he asked me to share my thoughts.

i asked if we were good now. He said, “I think we are.”

When i asked him why he has not spanked me for the previous weeks, where i was “all but daring” him to do so, he said, “because I wanted to see what you’d do.”

i said, “act poorly.”

He said, “I know. That’s why we had a maintenance where you called yellow. I was determined to go a long time today. And if this doesn’t work, we will repeat until you call red.”

i think we are good.

i knew we would be. i just wanted it to be awhile ago already.

(i’ll write about the new belt and what i think of it very soon.. as i am sitting locked in place now.)

Hope your Friday was as good as mine! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

291 – My Toy or Your Tool

i did it. i made David mad today. i didn’t mean to. It just happened.

He was out of town for 24-hours .. yesterday left, home today. This morning he texted me good morning and i reciprocated. Then he asked me if i was excited about my “new toy” arriving today.

i got an email yesterday that FINALLY the new chastity belt was to be delivered today. i ordered it on July 10, and finally on December 15 it was to arrive. FIVE months in the making, Their website says “due to COVID supply chain issues, please allow 1-3 months for delivery.” And today was the day it FiNaLlY was scheduled to arrive.

Well. i was excited…..But not to have a “new toy” arrive. i felt like he was insulting me, or making fun of me, or something like that.

i suddenly thought, “this is all just a big game to him. And when he’s tired of playing it, he gets lax. And when he wants to play again, he goes 100% all in.”

And, in my own mind at least, it suddenly made sense to me that he doesn’t LIKE this dynamic and (probably) only does it to make me happy and satisfy my needs. While i should be happy he wants to please me and make me happy, at least some of the time, it makes me UNhappy to think he ONLY does it (“it” being Dominant) to make ME happy.

Suddenly i couldn’t decide if i was sad, hurt, mad, confused, or what! Maybe hurt is best. i couldn’t believe i have been so stupid for so long now and not known or realized he thinks this is all just one big game.

So.

i asked him. About how serious he is about our dynamic.

But.

Not quite that simple either. If it had been, i probably wouldn’t have made him mad.

What i wrote was…..

I guess it may be a “toy” but I think of it as more than that. I think of it as a better way of life and marriage. I think the same about the paddle, cane, and crop. And even my collars.

And i then also wrote…..

I think if you thought of them as your tool(s), instead of my toys(s), things would be that much better.

THAT was when he responded back.

“Fuck you.”

Ahh crap. This isn’t how i should have done this at all.

And i immediately apologized. But. The damage was done.

i genuinely didn’t mean to cause a fight. i thought by leading with “I think” it would be how I THINK. But he took it as, “you should think” which was me telling him what to think or what to do.

That’s when i said…

I genuinely did NOT Intend to make you mad. I was very shocked to see your response. I’m sorry.

If you don’t like being Dominant, or using my toys, then just tell me so. That’s understandable. I just get confused when sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t, and I just don’t know.

I’m sorry.

To which he didn’t respond for several hours. And when he did, there was nothing about any of this. That moment, along with the anger and any other emotion, had passed. It was as if it never happened at all.

When i got home, i found the package on my bed. i had actually forgotten about the delivery until I saw it.

i opened it up and was excited to see if it fit. And i found the lock on it is really not the right size. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a bit too tight and NOT easy to get on/off.

i decided to try to figure it out while the CB is NOT on my body and therefore not quite as hard to sort out. But then it was time for dinner and our son just got home from college today too, so i let it be. T

hat was when David asked me, “do you have it on?” And i said no, of course.

When he asked me why, i said, “because i can’t figure out the lock,” which confused him. After i showed him how it was not fitting on the belt very well, he tried it himself and agreed it wasn’t working well.

We let it go and we all went out to eat. In addition, David/i drank a bottle of wine. We enjoyed seeing our son and eating/drinking good together as a family again.

When we got home, David became determined that he would figure out the lock. He did research and found that it is a slight bit incorrectly sized and David ordered a new one on Amazon that (hopefully) will be better.

Then after he finished that, he comes in to me and says, “Don’t tell me I’m not serious about this (dynamic and being dominant) when I come home after relaxing and enjoying good wine to then spend nearly an hour researching how to get the right lock!”

So it wasn’t 100% forgotten from this morning like i had assumed.

Now i also think i exaggerated the whole situation from the morning in my head. i got myself in a tizzy for no reason, and provoked my Sir for another no good reason. over my assumption that “my toy” was a game.

i think maintaining 100% consistency about anything in life is difficult and hard to sustain. Maybe a “break” is good (for anything ) sometimes. It’s what you do after the break that matters.

Like if you work out 7-days a week, you’ll eventually burn out. You need a break, as long as you get back out there and go to it again. Same thing with a diet. You can’t live on a diet, but you can give yourself a pass sometimes to eat the dessert (or the glass of wine) and enjoy it.

So maybe David needs a break sometimes. i may well need a break sometimes too actually.

And maybe he didn’t think of the new CB as “my toy” at all. Maybe he was just messing with me and texting that way to be fun and cut up. Who knows! What i do know is that he’s right… if he didn’t care or want to use “my toys” as “his tools” he wouldn’t have spent an hour figuring out the lock!

Maybe in his toolbox is a lot of physical “tools” but maybe some ones that are mental too. Maybe i need to get out of my own head already.

Won’t lie though,., i’m hoping (praying really!) that tomorrow…. a Friday… that we have maintenance. It could do a lot of good if David were to use the Tool (aka: paddle) on my bottom.

Hugs,

Marie

290 – Absent in spirit

We have been busy.

With Life.

After the Kentucky trip, we have had….

  • A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
  • Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
  • My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
  • Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
  • My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)

All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.

All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.

It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.

While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.

Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….

Him: I want to fuck you.

Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.

Her again: just give me 10-minutes.

Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!

Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.

Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.

So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.

i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.

Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.

But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)

Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.

He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.

i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.

i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.

i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.

If i……

Brat…

….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.

i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.

And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.

So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.

What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.

On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).

He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.

Top from the Bottom…

…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”

Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.

Or stand me in the corner until further notice.

Or (fill in the blank)…..

But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.

Try talking to him…

Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.

i can hear the conversation now….

Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”

Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”

Me: “yes, but you should….”

Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better

Send him a link of this post…

But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.

SUMMARY…..

i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.

See a pattern here? See the circular reference?

Ugh.

Suggestions?

Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!

Hugs,

Marie

288 – Caning discipline – (partial) Fiction

So this first part is true. The consequences thereof is what i have made up in my head, as i wait to see what, if anything, will come of it….

The guilt was starting to eat me up. So i decided to tell David, via text, to clear my conscience. Of course, i waited until he was away from the house to tell him. i didn’t do that on purpose really, or… maybe on some level i did.

The text read, “I’m not sure if you care or not, but I’ve orgasmed twice this week without permission. Once was on my birthday and then again yesterday too.”

What i didn’t say was, “and i am telling you now instead of doing what i really want to do, which is orgasm again. Right Now! Because i really am feeling very guilty now.”

The text i got back was, “WHY would you do that??????”

The response was simple… and true. i said, “Because i was selfish.”

What i didn’t add was that, “while i expect that had i asked you, you would have said yes… or…. you’d probably even have done participated and done for me. But i didn’t want that. i wanted ME. i truly was being VERY selfish!”

And the response i received was, “I’d have done it for you. It was your bday.”

i asked, “does it matter that i did it without your help? Or your permission ?”

“YES it does!”

And this is where i thought, “Ugh. You knew this was going to be the result. Now you’ll be punished. Why’d you go and be so stupid? You KNEW it was wrong. It wasn’t even that great of an O because you felt guilty even then!”

My head thoughts continued….. “And honestly…. You deserve whatever he provides. And you need to be prepared to thank him for it too.”

In my head i continued even more…… “You need to be grateful you have a husband who cares enough to want to be the one who provides your happiness, that he wants to see your joy when you orgasm, and … now… he also cares enough to discipline you for bad behavior too.”

And that’s where my head started venturing into the what-if scenarios about what kind of punishment would be fitting …….. fiction starts here….

After a bit more time of anxious anticipation, I received a new text from David. It said, “As you know today is Sunday, and I am already at church (for the tech team support David serves on). When you come to church, you need to have your belt on. You need to come find me and lay the key in my hand. It seems you need to have restriction enforced more again. But make no mistake, your discipline doesn’t stop there.”

“Yes Sir.”

And I did as instructed.

After church, we went to lunch with our son and he got on the road to head back to college from there and we went back home.

David beat me home and when I walked in the house, he was standing right there by the door waiting. He said, “Strip. You will not be wearing clothes the rest of the day.”

“Yes Sir.”

And I did as instructed.

That’s when he looked me up and down, and he smiled. He kissed the top of my forehead and said, “that’s my good girl.”

He produced the key to my belt and removed it. It dropped to the floor with the loud clang of metal that you’d expect.

He told me to “Go lay on the couch on your back. And wait for me.”

“Yes Sir.”

He walked through the living room and into our bedroom. I didn’t dare touch myself while he was gone. I wasn’t too sure what was going to happen next, but I wasn’t going to make it worse than it already was either.

When he came back into the living room he had changed clothes. And he held the leather cane in his hand too. Cringe. The cane is so torturous. He only uses it on me for the most egregious of errors and to drive home the discipline. It works every time.

He came and stood beside the couch that I lay on. As he towered over me, he looked down into my eyes and said, “You are the most beautiful wife when you lay naked like this. I like what I see. Unfortunately, that’s not quite what we are here for. Do you agree you’ve been disrespectful toward me lately?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do you understand that it hurts my soul to think you don’t want to spend time with me, to allow your pleasure to come from me, to share your body and soul with me? You’ve shut me out by being selfish and taking orgasms that don’t belong to you. I consider it acts of infidelity when you touch yourself and bring yourself pleasure without me there or my permission to do so. But you knew all this, didn’t you?”

I started to feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was choking back the emotions when I barely got out the words, “Yes Sir.”

He continued, “if you insist on making bad choices, then you will learn the true pain that you’ve caused me. Open your legs. And be still.”

Ahh, here it comes.

I saw his arm move up, the cane went up with his hand. Then I heard the whipping sound the cane makes when it cuts through the air. Immediately afterward, I felt the sting it leaves when it collided with my skin.

While I fully expected to feel it on my clit, I did not feel it there. Instead, it was on my lower abdomen. I immediately pulled myself into a fetal ball like position, but managed to stay flat on my back. I heard the words, “I said lay still. Now open your legs to me once again.”

And I did as instructed.

Tears started to fall from my eyes and down the sides of my cheeks, onto the couch cushion. I wasn’t crying from the pain, but rather the disappointment I had created for my Sir and in myself too.

I saw the cane move up and backward with his hand, and I closed my eyes. I held my breath and waited for it to fall on my skin to make its mark. It came down a little lower on my abdomen this time, but substantially in the same area. And then it happened again but lower yet. He was making his way down to my pussy. I could tell what was coming soon. I was anticipating the pain as I felt the next swat of the cane hit the top of my pubic mons area.

He paused and said, “do you think you deserve this punishment my love?”

“Yes Sir. I wish I didn’t, but I know I do.”

He said, “good. Now open your eyes and look at me.”

I did as instructed.

“I love you so much that it pains me when you take pleasure from me. That’s why you have to learn that this pussy and all the love it has to give belongs to me. ALL the time.”

He continued, “So I am about to deliver five hard strikes of the cane to this disobedient pussy to remind you of the way you are to act. Do you accept this punishment willingly?”

“Yes Sir, I do accept your discipline freely and fully.”

“Good. Now don’t move at all as I intend to deliver these swats in succession. If you move at all or restrict my access, I will start over. You don’t want that, now do you?”

“No Sir.”

“Good. Now lay still.”

And with that, he began just as promised, the first hard swat of the cane directly onto my pussy. He hit the left labia, and the intensity to my most sensitive area surprised me and I flinched. I cringed. I prayed he didn’t notice. But of course, he did.

He stopped and I heard, “tsk tsk tsk. Did I make myself clear about how you were to act?”

“Yes Sir. It just surprised me so I involuntarily flinched.”

“Well, I suppose you now know what to expect and that won’t happen again. Let’s begin again, shall we?”

He didn’t wait for my response, thankfully, as I felt the cane collide with the right labia. I successfully didn’t move. And I felt the left labia get hit again. It stung even more now with the second time leaving it’s hard mark on top of the first. I felt the cane repeat to the right side then too.

I heard my thoughts, “Three more to go. I can do this. Accept this punishment with grace, as you know you deserve.”

That’s when I felt the next caning swat land directly on my clit. It stung so damn bad but I was determined to accept it by laying still. I didn’t want Sir to start over. In another second of time, I felt another sting directly onto my clit again. I didn’t expect two in a row to land directly to my most sensitive spot.

Just one more to go, and I suspected it would be delivered with the most intensity yet. Sir did not disappoint.

The last one was also delivered as a direct hit to the middle of my pussy, straight onto my clit, with more intensity than any of the previous ones. It stung so bad bad that I felt the heat roll up into my cheeks and the tears flowed out freely from my eyes.

Through a haggard breath and tears, I eked out the words, “Thank You Sir.”

That’s when he dropped to his knees and the cane was laid aside. He kissed my lips fully and when he pulled away he said, “THAT was the pain part. Now for the pleasure part.”

He moved down on the couch where he got between my legs. It was just another second until I felt his warm tongue soothingly loving on my clit, pressing away all the pain and bringing about only pleasure. It felt so wonderful that my pussy started leaking fluids immediately.

He lifted his head and spoke to me saying, “You will not orgasm today at all. I will take my pleasure now and because you previously took your pleasure without permission, you will not have that ultimate release today at all.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

His tongue worked its magic. I felt him press his whole mouth around my clit, creating a suction on it and slightly pulling at it where it swelled up in response. My jagged breath and moans of pleasure was starting to tell my Sir just how turned on I really was becoming. As I arched my back and started to beg Sir to stop (or else let me orgasm), he immediately pulled his lips away and said very sternly, “NO! You will NOT orgasm!” His hand simultaneously gave my clit a hard slap, telling it to stop seeking pleasure and to remember the place it’s earned.

He waited a hot second and started again. He brought me to the edge of orgasm three more times, taking his pleasure in teasing me while licking my juices up in full but never allowing me to go over the edge.

After four total times of this, I was beyond sexually frustrated and David knew it. He didn’t care. In fact, he reveled in it as he spoke, “being frustrated isn’t too good for you is it?”

“No Sir.”

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice before taking your pleasure without permission.”

Oh I definitely will not be orgasming without permission again for a very long time to come!

And with that, he pulled entirely away from me and stood up. He grabbed my hand to help pull me up to my feet too. Then he said, “Now then. Because I don’t trust yo to be unbelted, you need to go get your belt back on. Snap the lock and bring me the key.”

And I did as instructed.

As I laid the key in his hand he smiled. Then he spoke saying, “I’ll keep the key on me and at the top of every odd hour for the remainder of the day, present yourself to me. You’ll need to ask me to bring you to the edge again and again. Make no mistake, I have zero intention of allowing you to orgasm today but instead making you beg for your release. You’ll learn to ask and receive permission before taking orgasms in the future.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for loving me enough to met out much needed discipline. I love you Sir and hope to do better by you.”

“You are most welcome my love. While all is indeed now forgiven, make no mistake that the rest of the day is reinforcing the lessons you’ve learned today AND you should plan to be in the belt for a good long time to come as you’ve now lost unbelted, unsupervised, time too.”

“I understand Sir.” I didn’t ask how long the belt would be on, as I knew the question wouldn’t be answered. It was irrelevant.

And he finally finished with, “but right now, I am so turned on and wound up that I think I need to orgasm myself. Get on your knees and prepare to receive my cum.”

And I did as instructed once more.

The end.

Hugs,

Marie

287 – (Submissive) things i am thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

i am so incredibly thankful for so many things that i don’t even know where to start if i were to try to list them ALL out. So i will list the ones i think matter the most. Or at least the ones that i am thinking about today! And especially the ones relating to my spousal dynamic.

1) A Dominant Christian husband. He leads me and our family lovingly and wonderfully. The Bible says a husband is to love his wife and David absolutely and wholly does that!

2) My submission to David. i discovered D/s with DD (Domestic Discipline) several years ago and asked David for it. It made our marriage so much stronger and better. It’s clear who is in charge and who submits. We both know our roles.

3) Chastity belt. My belt helps me to refrain from masturbation. It is a useful tool that i sometimes ask to be allowed to wear, like today. It helps me be compliant with David’s directive…. that i don’t masturbate or orgasm without permission. Because my pleasure belongs to him. And today, the belt is in its place.

4) Anal plug. When i need a tangible reminder of who my ass belongs to, a filled ass usually does the trick! It’s hard to forget that i belong to David when my ass is filled and stretched. And today, it is both filled and stretched.

5) Red wine. To get me turned on and cause me to flirt with my husband. And to forget i have an anal plug in while wearing the chastity belt simultaneously. The red wine causing me to feel frisky and bold…. And even if i don’t forget about the belt and plug, to beg him to take the belt off and the plug out and replace it with his cock.

6) Ability to speak to David and give my opinions. Despite our dynamic, i am always allowed to speak my mind. Of course, in a respectful tone. And David always listens. Like when i beg to have the belt off and the plug out and for him to fuck me thoroughly and completely.

7) For times when David says no. It makes it clear who really is in charge, regardless of what i want or think i need, i know he knows the truth, and his decisions are final. Even when i want to be fucked, when he says no, i have to accept that as his final answer.

7) My submissive side to accept the “No” answers when they come. Acceptance doesn’t always come quickly or easily. i intend to beg for him to change his answer. Frequently and often. And i hope to wear him down to get the ultimate answer i want.

8) Discipline as a way to deal with conflict. Instead of yelling at one another, discipline to accept his answer is a fine way to resolve difficulties. Especially in those times when i don’t accept his “No” answer the way i should have, discipline is exacting and makes his answer truly be no.

Our marriage is stronger than ever. i would say it’s stronger as a result of implementing D/s with Domestic Discipline as a way to deal with conflict. And i can honestly say i wish we had implemented it years ago!

The Bible says Man loves his wife, and a wife submits to her husband. While it does not say Men discipline their wives (at least to my knowledge anyway), DD is a practical way to deal with transgressions. It works for us.

And now i am off to see if i can get the belt off and the plug out. That which i have worn all day today. But to which i doubt (at 4p in the afternoon) is going to change for awhile still. Maybe before bed i will get the pleasure of his loving touch and feel his cock, and be allowed to cum.

But even if i don’t, i am thankful that my husband cares and loves me enough to cook for me and my family, and that he said i was to put the belt on and the plug in today… to serve as a (much needed) reminder of who i submit to and to “act right” today. (It has worked!)

A-N-D finally….. i would be amiss if i didn’t mention how thankful i am for YOU. While i tend to write to “you” as a way to have an audience to my journal documenting my marriage and submission journey, i am thankful that i have “you” to talk to. There is no one else in my “real world” who knows about our dynamic. i can’t tell my best friend, sister, or co-workers. Saying the words “Yah, i wear a chastity belt and my husband spanks me.” aloud wouldn’t (probably) end well. So i am truly thankful to have you, my friends, to talk to! (And thank you for the comments and emails so i have opportunities to get to know you in return.). It’s good to know you are real, as i am too.

Much hugs, love, and thanks…..

Marie