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65 – Topless

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Sir is determined to teach me to trust him. He says i don’t. And while i would love to argue with him, it’s a matter of opinion… and ultimately if that’s how he feels, well, it isn’t wrong. And i have no right to argue.

Today our microwave blew up. (Almost quite literally had a fire in our house, but it was contained inside the microwave. So all good! Oh and no, there was no aluminum inside. It happened while making popcorn.). But that’s when he said “we are going to buy a new one. Let’s go.”

And the two of us got in the car. Just us. No child. And within 1-mile of our house, he said… “take your top off”.

i am not allowed to wear a bra in his presence and only when “absolutely necessary” at all other times too. So he knew i had nothing on under my top.

i hesitated. He looked straight at me, raised his eyebrows and said, “did i stutter?”

i said, “No Sir,” and proceeded to remove my top. Quite slowly, but still making forward motion.

Broad daylight. Mid afternoon.

It made me nervous. i was antsy and shifting and he saw it. He said, “put your hands under your ass. Sit on them. And sit up tall. Proudly display yourself! Show me my boobs!”

i said, “yes Sir” and did so.

And that was when he rolled down the windows. For anyone & everyone to see who drove past. And he said, “Chin up. Smile. Look confident my sweetheart. I am, and you should be too!”

When we got to the store, i started to put my top back on. He said, “No. Leave it off. You can stay in the car while I get the microwave. I’ll return shortly.” And he left me in the parking lot, topless, wishing like hell i had another option – and knowing i didn’t!

And of course, a few people saw me. Thankfully no one i knew saw me! (He had parked near the edge of the lot where just a few cars were at, and had also rolled back up the windows, so not that many saw!)

Then on the way home, he told me to pinch my nipples and do not stop without permission, to which i had to beg for release. And in no time at all i was begging! After making me wait until he felt it was indeed time for a release, he allowed it. It was repeated periodically all the way home.

When we got home, he asked me if i felt sore. Of course, i did. He told me that was to be a reminder to trust him (more) in the future. i shouldn’t hesitate, question, or wonder if he was in charge.

That’s when he also continued saying i did good today, but trust has to be built more. That his role as HoH should be respected and … well… trusted. Then he ended with “be assured this would be the first test of more to come that would build the trust that he deserves. And the tests will continue until it seems the hesitation stops.”

i simply responded with “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

i know he deserves my unwavering respect. i know we have agreed he is in control and my only job is to submit. i can do this! Even if my body parts end up sore in the process!

(and in case you are truly wondering, NO that pic above is NOT me.)

Hugs,

Marie

63 – the “almost” spanking

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Last night before sleep, David and i started talking about a work topic that i encountered … and i was telling him what was decided at work. And he started saying, “I’d make sure you are right about that before you continue”.

And that wasn’t what i was trying to even talk about so i got annoyed and brushed him off. “Yeah, yeah,… but…let me tell you about …..”

That annoyed him. And as we were both starting to raise our voices, he abruptly said, “you need to calm yourself! I was speaking and I think my points are valid. You don’t get to act like what I said wasn’t important. You started this conversation so quit acting this way! Geez!”

And just like that… i was mad. But i suppose i was already worked up and close to it already. i DID quit talking immediately (at least i had the fore thought to stop!). And we ultimately just started reading, turned out the lights, and said our typical “good night, I love you’s”

i laid there thinking about the convo and the “almost” fight… which made me grateful for the DD lifestyle we live.

i hate fighting… with anyone. It all just causes me strife and anxiety.

DD is a life style change that has helped our marriage tremendously! i have respect for him, and vice versa. We both know our roles and how we are to act with one another. And when we don’t do our part…. their are consequences.

So because i stopped when i did, i avoided a spanking.

But it made me think, “maybe i deserved one anyway!” Why?? Well, he’s right… i did start the convo. Although it was apparently subconscious, i did have preconceived notions about how it was going to go in that he was going to listen and agree to me. And when he didn’t, i tried to “force” my opinions and the convo in the way i wanted it to go.

Not only that, but he had to tell me to calm down and to stop. Maybe it shouldn’t have gotten that far from the start. Maybe i shouldn’t have acted the way i did with my “no, listen to ME attitude”.

So David was right and i was wrong. Did i deserve to be punished? i think maybe so.

And i told him all these thoughts this morning. And he responded with, “maybe. We will talk about it later (after work)”

i have no idea if i have actually avoided a spanking and discipline now or not. Nor do i know if we will talk about it. i hope not actually. i hope he just decides and that’s that! It may be waiting for me when i get home. But whether he intends to do it or not, i will accept his decision and we will move on from here…. me being secure in the knowledge we have a MUCH better way of dealing with disagreements than we ever did before DD and he is Dominant and i am submissive.

Hugs,

Marie

62 – Big Bang

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One small thing can have such a big impact.

On May 29, shortly after my last post, i was the middle car in a 3-car pile up. Was not my fault. And overall, i walked away but did have bangs, bumps, bruises, and a bit of trouble to recoup from. My car on the other hand… toast!

All because the girl in front of me decided at THE very last minute she had to get into the right lane to get onto the freeway. Too late. 45-mph. Cars already there. She slammed on her brakes and caused me to do the same, but the truck behind me didn’t.

“One-small-thing” being her decision to radically change her direction. Had she not been insistent on going the way she wanted to, just let off the brake, resumed her previous path… it ALL would’ve been avoided.

Which could be a deep thoughtful here in the making…. had she not changed her direction, had she just continued on… a huge accident could’ve been avoided. And now there are consequences to pay. We all pay for our decisions one way or the other. But making radical, last minute decisions is probably NOT wise and typically results in trouble. That’s pretty much my marriage in a nutshell right there. “Stay the course, do as we’ve talked about, don’t make radical unilateral decisions and changes on your own… and all is well. And if not, well… face the consequences!” Easy! Right??? 🧐🤔

So after getting hit from behind and pushed into her, i have now been feeling “old” with a banged up body.

And David has been very kind to deal with the insurance and the collision center to calculate the damage ($41k). He has dealt with it all.

And now… no maintenance, no spankings, just recovery. But will be ready to get back to “normal” too.

Miss normal. In SO many ways this 2020 year, i miss normal! 🙁

Hugs,

Marie

DAY 8 – My Submissiveness

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So i have NOT kept up with the 30-days of submissiveness postings, but i want to resume those. It may prove to be intermittent and not “daily”, but i think that’s okay too. So…. day 8…..

DAY 8 : LOOK!Post a kinky image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image.

This prompt has caused me so much angst. i am struggling to pick just one image, so i decided to do more than just one…. in no particular order…

Pic 1: spanking… the very essence of Domestic Discipline:

Spanking is a real part of my relationship with David. Spanking a bare bottom, that has been offered up freely to a dominant, Hoh is acknowledging that i am not in control. Ever.

In addition, i should always look, smell, and sound appealing to him.

Pic 2: the paddle

David’s favorite disciplinary tool is the paddle. My paddle looks quite similar to this one. i hate the paddle … that it is (ever) even needed. But i love that David and i have found this lifestyle that works too. No fighting … verbally or physically… takes place in our home (when we are in our mode of DD anyway!). i freely accept the paddle as a necessary tool to keep our marriage where we both want it to be.

Pic 3: afterward…

Almost always after the paddle, he allows me to cum. It depends if it’s a true punishment or a maintenance (“stay the course reminder and reward for doing so”) though too. Punishment can’t ever be rewarded with sexual pleasure or else it would make me WANT to be bad.

Pic 4: why i do what i do….

YES, i do truly believe that if i can’t submit to my husband, i will never be able to truly submit to God’s authority either. God said in the Bible women are to submit and men are to love.

Pic: And last one….

i have a strong fantasy desire to be the center of attention for a room full of people – men and women. To be tied up and put on display and/or use, however, the party- goers wish to use me is their desire and my command. To be an ultimate party-favor, for the duration of the party and to serve any person’s whim. We shall see if this ever happens… i mean, it IS a fantasy and sometimes they come true.

Hugs,

Marie

60- who snaps the hardest?

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i managed to get myself into trouble today. i got very stressed out in a situation that was timed and had a deadline, and David was only trying to help. But he caused my stress to go up because i had a plan and just needed to execute it. So i snapped at him, “ok, fine! I got this. Go do your thing now and let me do this!”

And T-H-E very second it came out of my mouth i regretted it. But too late. Damage done.

David just gave me a look that said it all. i could read his expression and it said, “I know you didn’t just talk to me that way!”

And i immediately responded with, “i am sorry Sir, that was an unintentional snap.”

He calmly said, “I’m sure I will have an Intentional snap very soon where I will accept your apology”.

i knew that meant the snap of the paddle pressing hard against my ass.

i had no choice but to face the consequences of my stupid, stressed-out, speak-before-i-think actions.

Thankfully, he walked away and allowed me to refocus and get the deadline met. i got the work done in time and turned in with 2-minutes left.

(NO, i did not procrastinate. It was simply an assignment with a super tight deadline and the clock was not my friend.)

Spankings during this social distancing time have been hard to do because they are not quiet events and our son is home more than ever.

And as luck would not be in my favor, the first time since mid-March, my son’s BF invited him over to their house and since it was just the two of them (and BF’s fam), i said yes.

So an hour later, our son was out of the house. David and i ate dinner and i just knew that i should be in position to accept the spanking (soon). So i just went to the bedroom without being told. Striped naked. Per usual. Leaned over with my elbows on the bed and feet flat on the floor. Ass sticking straight out, available for use.

So after getting into position, i waited, for one hot second. And here he came.

He grabbed the paddle and started peppering my ass to warm it up. The warm up stings. It feels like mosquito bites hanging up on my bottom.

As he did this, he asked, “going to snap at me?”

i said, “no Sir”

“Why not now? You did earlier. You seemed to think it was ok then!”

i responded with, “it was wrong.“

And he said, “good answer…now. Too bad you didn’t think before you spoke before. And now your ass is going to sting when we are done so that you remember you don’t get to snap at me. Or else I will snap at you. And my snaps will hurt far more than your snaps could ever do.”

i lost count. He was right. The snaps were so many. And what’s more is he didn’t actually swing hard or powerful. It was just snapping. And the more he did, the more it stung.

i estimate i received around 200 “snaps” in all. All with the paddle. All in about 10’ish minutes. Not much force at all actually, but more or less in the same spot. Over and over again.

And then it was finally over. For today. But alas, tomorrow is maintenance.

As we lay in bed and i type this, he just rolled over, said good night, “I guess we will sting your butt again tomorrow. Because it IS Friday. Sleep well!”

In my head… “oh joy. Can’t wait. W-H-Y couldn’t it be any day but Friday tomorrow? My butt is still stinging even now, so I wonder how it will feel tomorrow.”

And out of my mouth, “thank you Sir. You sleep well also.”

He said, “good answer.”

Hugs,

Marie