63 – the “almost” spanking

Last night before sleep, David and i started talking about a work topic that i encountered … and i was telling him what was decided at work. And he started saying, “I’d make sure you are right about that before you continue”.

And that wasn’t what i was trying to even talk about so i got annoyed and brushed him off. “Yeah, yeah,… but…let me tell you about …..”

That annoyed him. And as we were both starting to raise our voices, he abruptly said, “you need to calm yourself! I was speaking and I think my points are valid. You don’t get to act like what I said wasn’t important. You started this conversation so quit acting this way! Geez!”

And just like that… i was mad. But i suppose i was already worked up and close to it already. i DID quit talking immediately (at least i had the fore thought to stop!). And we ultimately just started reading, turned out the lights, and said our typical “good night, I love you’s”

i laid there thinking about the convo and the “almost” fight… which made me grateful for the DD lifestyle we live.

i hate fighting… with anyone. It all just causes me strife and anxiety.

DD is a life style change that has helped our marriage tremendously! i have respect for him, and vice versa. We both know our roles and how we are to act with one another. And when we don’t do our part…. their are consequences.

So because i stopped when i did, i avoided a spanking.

But it made me think, “maybe i deserved one anyway!” Why?? Well, he’s right… i did start the convo. Although it was apparently subconscious, i did have preconceived notions about how it was going to go in that he was going to listen and agree to me. And when he didn’t, i tried to “force” my opinions and the convo in the way i wanted it to go.

Not only that, but he had to tell me to calm down and to stop. Maybe it shouldn’t have gotten that far from the start. Maybe i shouldn’t have acted the way i did with my “no, listen to ME attitude”.

So David was right and i was wrong. Did i deserve to be punished? i think maybe so.

And i told him all these thoughts this morning. And he responded with, “maybe. We will talk about it later (after work)”

i have no idea if i have actually avoided a spanking and discipline now or not. Nor do i know if we will talk about it. i hope not actually. i hope he just decides and that’s that! It may be waiting for me when i get home. But whether he intends to do it or not, i will accept his decision and we will move on from here…. me being secure in the knowledge we have a MUCH better way of dealing with disagreements than we ever did before DD and he is Dominant and i am submissive.

Hugs,

Marie

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