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117 – Second guessing

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Why do we do it? Why do we second guess everything we say… we do… we think…. everything?

Our son took a speech class where the teacher told them, “you are not the star of the show.” Meaning….. if you say something stupid, or fall down the stairs, or walk around with the back of your dress stuck in your panties, it is most definitely embarrassing…….But… when you are NOT the star of the show, no one remembers you nor what happened or what was said. Oh sure, they will laugh for a minute, but 5-minutes after that…. you are a distant memory!

So why do we second guess ourselves if 5-minutes after it happens, no one remembers?

i say it is because we want to be liked… or dare i say …. LOVED! We want people to like us, and we get nervous about messing it up to give that person a reason to not like us.

But it can backfire too!

We are trying to hire some people at work right now and one lady we interviewed this week wouldn’t stop smiling and nodding her head. She was going for the, “yes, I’m very interested and engaged” (and I hope you like me) look. But it came off creepy and weird instead. If only she’d been herself, she’d probably have been better off. But as it is, we don’t know the “real” her and have zero knowledge if we should consider her as a good candidate to hire now.

Why am i talking about all this exactly? Well…. our date went well. But we were second-guessing ourselves along the way too.

Dating can be especially hard then when you are swingers. Now there are 4-people, instead of the usual 2, who all have equal opportunity to second guess! And to worry. And to not feel confident. Why? Because we want to make a good impression and for them to like us. All 4-of us!

Just so it doesn’t get confusing, his initial is B and hers is J…. so they are “BJ” together. How wonderful is that??

So J thought she might’ve talked to much. B was concerned that David wasn’t engaged (and therefore) uninterested. i worried about quiet a few things actually….. first about what to wear (too sexy, not enough), then about our D/s with DD dynamic coming off as “too much” to them, and finally when i knew they were worried, i worried about them worrying! And David … well…. i don’t think he had any concern. Lol

Why were they concerned? Mostly it was over David. In their mind, he wasn’t participating, having fun, or otherwise seeming interested. And yet…. he was. But he’s being himself too. He’s not trying to play the part of the star of the show.

David is a naturally quiet, laid-back, go with the flow, kind of guy. And when he has something to say, he does. But at the minute he’s not having fun, doesn’t want to be there, or otherwise (truly) not engaged…. he’s out. He’s done. And we leave. If David didn’t like them, we would not have even gone to dinner with them a second time. And if at any point during the dinner, if he was out then even, we would’ve up and left. Instead, we were there for 3-hours while the wait staff was hoping we’d leave and they could reseat and flip the table for the night too. Yet, we were there using our squatters rights to hold the table from the next diners while talking and having a great time. All while the other 3 of us were busy second-guessing ourselves.

So i’d dare to say that of all 4 of us… David probably had the best time! Because he wasn’t busy second-guessing, worrying, trying to impress, or …. trying to be the star of the show. Now what i will say is he’s been having a lot of sinus problems lately and even went to the doctor this week. The doc thinks he’s allergic to something but we don’t know what. So if David was unengaged at all, it was because he was in his mind thinking about whether he’s allergic to food/drinks, something in the air/outside….. and how can he work towards getting all the sinus drainage to stop.

So when we left there, i still think they had the feeling of a little uncertainty, and yet David talked in the car ride home all about “the next date needs to be at a place we can all get naked!” Of course, i am privy to all this insight because i am a naturally observant person and picked up on the sentences here and there like, “I think I’m talking too much,” and “Is David all good?” So i’m not sure if any of them know that i know this was the ultimate vibe or not.

After setting aside all this second-guessing and uncertainty, i dare say we all love each other! Oh i know it is way early to say that out loud even to ourselves really … but we are all having so much fun and enjoying things together when we are NOT worrying, that this could truly lead to a long term thing! We talk about everything and the topics just flow from cooking to sex to tv shows to kids to favorite restaurants and then bringing us full circle of what to cook again. And everything in between too!

Yes, we have talked a lot about sex too. They know David and my dynamic. They even saw a slight bit of it in action last night. J was about to say something, but i wanted to speak too. And i it my hand up and said, “wait J, i want to first say….” and it cut her off mid-sentence. David then cut me off and said in a very dominant/strong voice to me with direct eye contact, “that was rude and way too aggressive.”

i immediately stopped speaking, looked at J and said, “i am sorry. David is right. Please continue.” i think both BJ were a bit surprised, but laughed it off, and she said, “oh no, you can go ahead.”

i wasn’t sure what to do though because i wanted to follow David’s clear direction, but i also had been yielded the floor and didn’t want it to suddenly get awkward. And at this moment typing this to you, even i don’t really remember what happened next. (See.. 5-minutes later, no one remembers!). i think i then kept talking though.

So ironically, our second-guessing personal issues went head to head at that moment. i was concerned about our dynamic and their response, she was concerned about talking too much, and even B’s concern about David not engaging was at stake too. David did engage (by telling me to slow down), they did respond perfectly well to my submissiveness (didn’t skip a beat even!), and she yielded the floor to me (to not find herself talking too much). None of us realized any of that at the time though.

So in reality, we are all perfect. And are worrying wayyyyyy too much. Even now as i type all this, i can’t think of a single moment or instance that i thought J was truly talking too much or when David wasn’t engaged or when B seemed overly concerned about any of it either. Which tells me that our son’s speech teacher is right… we aren’t the star of the show and people don’t remember the single moments of mishap. And unlike my interview this week, when you show your self-confident, natural “you”, that ultimately sends the message you both need.

And yet…. we still second guess ourselves.

And that’s ultimately just because we really want each other to like each other! In an interview or on a date. Because we care and we (all) want this to work. To which for us and BJ, i am absolutely confident that it is!

Now i just have to make sure they know it is too!!

[And in case you want to know….. although i wasn’t sure at the time, David did not take the paddle with us. So i did not get spanked at the table or in the parking lot. So i did not have to spend the night in the pokey! Nor did we do maintenance when we got home either. Sometimes David declares it unnecessary, and he did that yesterday. So i suppose i was deemed to be on my best behavior too!]

Now to plan the next date…. to get naked!

i give this show 4-stars… get it, there’s 4 of us and we are not the stars of the show… but it is a “4-star show” in the end…. 😉

Have an amazing weekend my friend!

Hugs,

Marie

116 – Another hot date!

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Quite literally, the temps in Tx are over 100! So it is a date that is hot. And i found a new weather app called “WTForecast”. It gives you crazy words to describe the weather upon opening the app.

Like just now…. this is what it said:

That’s funny! That’s the weather version of ME and my cheeky comments!

Ok ok… that’s not exactly what you want to hear about…..

Y-E-S …. we are on our way to dinner with our new couple. Date #2 – one week after the first date.

We’ve had an amazing week messaging back and forth and we are headed to another fun dinner with them now.

i’m super excited to see them too! It will be fun, we will laugh, be honest, and talk about everything imaginable!

At what point can i say they are our bg/gf’s?!?! Hmm. i dunno. Maybe not yet.

No, we don’t plan to have sex tonight either. Just dinner. But i do have on a skirt without panties, so it’s possible i may get some fingers inside me at some point.

But today IS Friday and we haven’t done maintenance for the day. So i have to be on best behavior too.

David told me he might bring the paddle with us and have them do it for him. When i asked him how that would happen, he first said, “I’ll make you assume the position at the table.”

i laughed and said, “i guess i’ll eat before we go so my stomach won’t be mad at me when i spend the night in jail!”

Then he said, “seriously …. maybe in the parking lot afterward.” i don’t think he would. i’m not worried… too much. Lol.

i do know maintenance waits for when we get home though, so it’s possible it could be more like a punishment if i don’t act right too. But i will. Cuz i want to! Cuz i know it’s going to be F-U-N!

So i’ll tell you more tomorrow!

PS …. their initials are “BJ”. i think that’s fitting!

Hugs –

Marie

Day 17: My Submissiveness

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DAY 17: “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT … “What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?”

Where do i start?? Lol! Ok, seriously, i feel like i could talk about quite a few. But THE one i’ll talk about here is….

Kinky people are not abnormal. (See that double negative there… that means kinky people ARE normal).

When you hear the word “kinky,” it is in reference to (and an adjective of ) how they like their sex. So in that sense, i admit kinky people are not mainstream, but they (we!) are indeed still normal.

Yet, i would like to even out forth the argument that they ARE mainstream, just in the closet. i happen to think that kinky sex people are the new closet-lurkers that used to be inhabited by the gay/lesbian community. But once the gay/lesbian people evacuated the closet, kinky sex people took their place.

Or maybe kinky sex people were always in the closet, yet with gay/lesbian standing at the front (nearest the exit), no one noticed us there. Until of course, gay/lesbians decided to open the door and outted themselves.

i think kinky became the new closet-lurkers with the release of 50 Shades. i think EL James let the world know, “we are here, now in the closet alone, which is cool by us because this just gives us more room to spread out in here and to explore our sexual preferences… yet still in the dark too.”

i think the word “kinky” could be replaced with “adventurous” or “adrenaline junky” too.

i think it humorous when people want to scare themselves intentionally via watching a horror movie, or getting on an extreme roller coaster, or skydiving from an otherwise perfectly good airplane – and yet – having adventurous sex seems abnormal, odd, strange, or unusual.

So somehow getting my type of adrenaline junky adventure on has deemed me odd, strange, or unusual. Yet scaring myself until i cry, urinate myself, or otherwise cause my heart to race itself into a premature attack is deemed acceptable. (Okay, so sometimes maybe kinky sex causes crying, urination, and heart attacks too…. but … again, that just goes to show we are normal and why is our adrenaline seeking methods less acceptable than others?)

i dare say, like gay/lesbians, we are probably enjoying better and more frequent sex than the nay-saying, mainstream community has ever had.

i have asked the questions above about “why are kinky people’s methods deemed abnormal when the other mainstream activities are not.?” But you and i both ultimately know the answer…. because it’s not the way we were raised, because we aren’t supposed to be with more than one lover at a time, because we shouldn’t like being spanked or treated like a child or otherwise degraded….. or so it would seem to the outsider anyway!

And yet…. we do.

Our likes (and dislikes) don’t make us abnormal. i’d say maybe judgements and misunderstandings should be deemed the abnormal behavior here and the mainstream should be forced to bend a little. Oh wait…. that’s already happened by those gay/lesbian peeps before us. Honestly, while i think kinky people are ready to also evacuate the closet, we will probably just ease out slowly and walk along the path that those gay/lesbian (and EL James) Trail Blazers already cut for the rest of us!

So when someone at work, who you deem “normal” tells you some crazy and kinky story about their sex life…. don’t change your opinions about them one iota. They are still normal too!

Oh – and if/when mainstream DOES “bend a little” – i hope it’s so they bend OVER to get spanked or at least to have some of the best sex of their lives!

Hugs ~

Marie

112 – It’s a Match!

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We had SO much fun. We are in love! Ok, ok… maybe not love… yet anyway. Lol. Our First Date night was super Amazing!

While you never know how much truth are in people’s words, i tend to believe they thought the same as we did. Because if they didn’t think it was a great evening, they likely would not have messaged us before the night was over (or taken an aloof demeanor, which they did not). But they did indeed respond!

They messaged about how they loved the evening, they were attracted to us, and asked about when can we meet again. i’d say they had as much fun as we did!

At the risk of jinxing it all, i’d venture to say that this was the best first date we’ve ever had. NO, we did NOT have sex. i already told you we wouldn’t do that and we did not.

We met at a quite nice, elegant steakhouse. And, thanks to COVID, we enjoyed a relatively secluded table where we talked and laughed continuously. (See COVID is good for some things! Ok, agreed, not much!! Lol).

We talked about family life, work life, and also sexual life. And i found it interesting how we would flow from one topic to another just the same as how the river flows. The conversation went where it wanted to, even over the banks a few times, caught a rock and went back upstream a slight bit too, but ultimately it just never stopped. It had a pleasant and relaxing feel, and it was nice to float along and just let the current sweep us up in it to go wherever it wanted to take us! It seemed like we were old friends who hadn’t seen one another in awhile and had lots to catch up on. And we did.

The part that gives me the most joy is the synergy that we created. If you think about how hard it is for 2- people to find a match in one another, just double that pain when there are 4 involved. i dare say the #1 thing most all open couples would say is the most challenging aspect is finding their match. It is just super hard to find four people who are like-minded and equally interested in taking a casual dinner to the next level. So i have become super alert to any signs that one (or more) are zoned out, not interested, or not having fun. i was pleased that it didn’t seem to happen (at all) for any of us.

While i think we all did, i definitely talked quite candidly. When David & i were first married he said something that i was analyzing and i asked, “did you mean this… or that??” To which he replied, “Men say what they mean and Mean what they say. Don’t read into it.” While i’m not too sure anyone – male or female – actually does that, i try to as much as possible. So i decided that if this might be a match, they needed to know our dynamic for real and without pretenses. i let them know that David is my Sir. i didn’t actually use the word “Sir,” at least not that i recall anyway. But i said things like, “i always follow his lead.” And then added things like, “and when i don’t (follow his lead), i get spanked.”

Of course, when i said that, David told them that my ass still has remnants of the Worst Spanking Everrr. i was afraid that might worry or scare them off, but i suppose better sooner than later if they do take exception to our dynamic. Instead though, it seemed to intrigue them, at least a bit anyway. (Like i said before, we already knew that she’s submissive and he’s dominant and he uses a flogger on her. So i wasn’t “too” concerned, but i do think they tend to JUST have this dynamic in the erotic/sexual way. And while that is perfectly well and good, finding out someone does this as a way of life may have been a turnoff. i was pleasantly surprised to find out it wasn’t!)

So as we were leaving and all saying our goodbyes in the parking lot, Sir told me to show them my rear end, and of course, the bruises. i was a bit embarrassed and i hesitated. While it was in an area of the lot that absolutely no one was around, i wasn’t certain he was serious at first plus it was our first date with them too. And having to turn around, lift my dress, and expose my ass meant i couldn’t see their faces or immediate reactions. i felt vulnerable.

But i did it anyway. After having to be told twice by Sir to do it. To which he didn’t miss a beat and was sure to comment on when we were in the car and headed home too. Despite several minutes having passed between actually saying goodbye and getting seated in the car, he simply stated without details, “why did you hesitate?” And i told him what i just said told you. And his response was, in a firm but non-angry tone was, “When i tell you to do something, you need to do it…. the first time.” i just said, “Yes Sir. i know.” Then he said, “hmm. I’ll remember this.” i know i will too as that is a warning to not have it happen again or else punishment may ensue.

But what was their response to seeing my exposed ass in the parking lot?? When i stood upright and turned to face them, she gave me a super compassionate hug and said, “oh no, that looks like it was painful.” In the same way a friend gives sympathy to a friend in need. But also in a way that implied that if she could, she might’ve rubbed it and kissed it to try to make it all better too. (It doesn’t hurt at all now by the way). And of course those kisses right there would likely lead to kisses elsewhere too!

But he didn’t say much at that moment. Later in messaging though, he said that seeing my exposed ass in public was a turn on and gives rise to all his favorite fantasies of having sex outdoors and/or in public. He indicated he had a desire to have the next dinner date be at a restaurant where he can sit next to me and play with my pussy under the table for the entire night. i’d love to orgasm over dinner!

i’m super excited and i can’t wait until we can see them again!

Like i said…… we may very well have met our Match!

THIS MORNING…. as we woke up, David made mention of the evening prior. And as we were talking about the success, he then said, “and you hesitated. I told you I’d remember. You need to go Assume The Position.”

Oh great. Here i thought it was ok, and just a warning, but apparently it wasn’t. i said, “Yes Sir” and did as told. But i was disappointed for sure.

When he came in the bedroom he said, “Oh good. You did as I wanted this time.” And he picked up the paddle and let one easy/warm up swat land. After just one, he asked me, “Do you want to be spanked?” And i told the truth and said, “No Sir.”

And that’s when he put the paddle down and put his hand between my legs and started to rub on my clit. He said, “Would you rather I do this instead?” So again, i told the (absolute) truth and said, “Oh Yes Sir, i would indeed!”

Then he pushed my legs up on the bed and spread them wide, giving him full access. That is when i felt his cock push deep into my pussy in one smooth move. He proceeded to give me an amazing orgasm. After which, when i thought we may be done, he pulled out of my front hole and used by back hole as well. i love it when he uses me this way! i feel so whole and complete while making him happy too. When we were both satisfied, he slapped his hand down on my ass and said, “Stay right here. Don’t move!” ….. he went and got an anal plug ready and said, “I’m going to have you wear this today. It will remind you to follow directions the first time. And when you do, GOOD things come to you when you obey the first time!”

And i went off to the shower with a smile on my face and a plug in my ass!

What more could a girl ask for?!?! ❤️❤️❤️

Hugs,

Marie

111 – Date Night!

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i am getting ready to go out to eat and drink with David. Anddddddd ….. another couple who we’ve been talking to online for a bit now.

It’s a “first date” with this couple. And really our first with any couple for almost a year now. Covid created a no-go situation for that!

So yes, this is what we do from time to time. We meet for dinner and drinks and getting to know someone(s).

And just like when single people go out on a “first date,” you get butterflies in your stomach, you hope they look like the picture they sent, you hope you don’t need to be rescued to get away fast(er) than you’d planned ……and you try to dress sexy but not slutty…. that’s how i am feeling right now.

Meeting people and having these first dates (and maybe more), brings excitement and energy to our marriage. It introduces us to new people in a fun way. It is in the open. We ALL participate …. on group messaging, on the date night(s), and the actual “committing of the deed!” If it ever happens that is!

More often than not, we don’t do anything at all with the people we meet, except dinner and drinks. Innocent. People do it all the time.

Except…. our intentions are to hopefully end up naked and all in the same bed together at some point!

This couple seem as kinky/crazy as us, so i feel it could be a good match for us to have some crazy fun with. NO we don’t have sex with people the first time we meet. So no, we won’t have sex with them tonight. But if all goes well, maybe next time or the time after that!

i discovered in the group chat just yesterday that he is Dominant and she is submissive. She is bisexual, and he is straight. He uses a flogger on her, and she likes it.

So the dynamic for us all 4-together could be just what i have now with David…. but double the fun!

i feel excited and nervous both. At the same time.

i’ll probably tell you tomorrow what happened…. if anything…. if i think we may have crazy sex one day soon or never see them again!

Stay tuned!!!!!!

Hugs and Happy Friday!

Marie