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171 – A Spanked wife is a Happy Life

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We’ve all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. But i would propose a change to that phrase to instead read….

A SPANKED WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE.

“We all know who wears the pants in that family!”

“It’s obvious who’s in charge in that relationship”

These are sentences we’ve heard or even spoken before. The very idea that a relationship has equality is absurd to me. When there are just two people, who are voting their “side,” there can be is stalemate when the two sides are opposing. It results in a 50/50 split. And who is the one to break the tie? Who is the one to relent? Who is the one to say, “we will do it your way.”???

While i think there are relationships that may well be nearly equal in that both sides relent frequently, never is it completely equal. Which means that someone is in control and makes the decisions, and the someone else relents.

That someone who gets the win, “wears the pants.”

That person making the decisions is the natural Dominant and the person who relents is the natural submissive.

In our house, i do not even try to be equal as i don’t want to be. i want to submit to his will and his authority, as he submits to God’s will and God’s authority. This keeps it all in (our version of) balance.

So the person who wears the pants in this family is NOT me!

But sometimes balance doesn’t stay in balance. And it needs a reset. Or discipline. And in my opinion, the best reset is a spanking.

i did some research and picked out some reasons to spank your wife and how it leads to a happy life. Of course, i picked the ones i wanted to write about and ignored all the nah-sayers, so this is nowhere near official. Lol.

As such… take it as MY OPINION (with support for said opinion).

Reasons to spank your wife…..

#1: Power is Sexy… which leads to LOVE

Powerful people are (mostly) attractive and sexy. Think about some of the most influential people in society and even specific to your life. Odds are, they are confident, in control, (Dominant), and…. sexy.

And where there’s sex, there’s love. Okay, not always, but sexy can lead to love and in any “relationship,” i sincerely hope there’s love!

And if you have enough love in the relationship, you love her enough to correct the misbehavior. And you love him enough to submit to the spanking.

Spanking someone, done from a position of power is love. It means you are loving someone enough to do what is needed, even when it’s hard. And yes, it should be a bit hard for the Dominant to do. Because you don’t want to hurt her, but rather to guide her, and sometimes that requires tough love… and discipline.

#2: It will keep her calm

For me, i am a Dominant woman in much of my outside-the-home life. That may come as a surprise to some of you but it is true. At work, i am a boss. When things flow the way they should, i am calm. But how often does that happen?

At home, i am NOT in control, nor do i want to be. i want to come home and know i can relax and not have to make any decisions. i like to follow rules and directives. But sometimes even that doesn’t happen.

When these things don’t flow in the right order, chaos occurs. Now I know chaos is part of life but i don’t like it! And it typically throws me into a tizzy.

Spanking restores the calm and reason. It centers me. It forces me to focus on just one thing…. standing still and listening to Sir’s voice in THIS moment.

It grounds me, and restores the calm.

#3: Creates Intimacy and Builds Trust

Getting naked and baring your bottom for someone to see (and spank) requires intimacy. Physically by showing yourself to him. Mentally by showing yourself to him.

Yes, i said the same thing for both mental AND physical. Because it’s true. You have to unclothe your physical self AND your mental self to submit to a spanking.

So while you are unclothing and showing yourself to him, you show him you trust him enough to lead you, to guide you, and to be in control…. without abusing that control or trust. You are saying, “i trust you Sir!”

Which ultimately leads to the utmost levels of intimacy for both of you!

#4: Biblical

While you won’t find “spank your wife” in the Bible, you will find, “Husbands are to lead and women are to submit.” And (in my opinion) failing to submit requires disciplinary actions to get things on track.

All the way back to the Bible times, it was clearly written and people accepted it as the way of life, that men and women are not equal. And as such, discipline is necessary.

#5: Love

When you love her enough and care enough to discipline, you care about keeping the love alive and well in your relationship. And when you love him enough, you will submit to a spanking because you will know that it is good for you both. It builds up your relationship in a way that you just can’t imagine. And once you do it, you’ll agree….

The love is deeper and more profound than anything you had before……

And you never want to be wearing the pants in your family again.

But you will want to pull them up after that spanking is done and hopefully you don’t have to do it again anytime soon!

Hugs,

Marie

165 – No touchy-touchy

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The official rule is i do not touch (at all) any of my private parts without permission. The idea being that touching leads to pleasure, which leads to orgasm. And orgasms from my body are for his pleasure, not mine. And taken without permission is stealing, which we all know is wrong.

But just recently, the rule morphed a bit. Now it’s not that i can’t touch, but that i can’t touch WITH MY BARE FINGERS. So…. when there is a barrier between my fingers and said private part, touching is allowed.

Honestly, this is more realistic anyway. i mean seriously, how can i NOT touch myself to dry off after the shower? Or even while in the shower, how can i clean myself without touching myself? And even dressing caused me to brush against myself to put clothes on too.

So now…. if there is something between my hand and my skin, touching is allowed. But orgasms are still absolutely not allowed without permission.

i know this rule changed because i had recently explored a loophole in that original no-touch rule. i wasn’t entirely sure if it was authorized, and yet, found myself doing it with justification anyway. Justification in my own mind, of course!

While in the shower, just before turning off the water and drying off, i tend to just stand there and think. i think about the day ahead, the to-do’s, what i’ll wear, and so on.

Well, one day, i thought, “i would SO like to touch myself and orgasm right now!” And as i looked a bit upward, a lightbulb went off that went like this……..

We have a removable shower head. The kind that has the long cord and you can spray the water where you want. (We have primarily used it to bathe the dogs more easily and to clean the corners of the shower itself). “i could use that shower head to clean the corners of my body …. it could spray my breasts and pussy up close.”

So i did. And it was fucking hot. Like the turn-me-on hot, not referring to the water temperature!

And then it moved lower with the thoughts, “If you feel this good on those tits, guess how much better you’ll feel with the water spraying on that sweet pussy too!” (Yeah, it wasn’t “sweet” at that point… it was very naughty!)

And yet, i did. And the temperature inside me rose even more!

Then i decided to play a game with it and moved the water all around and told myself to stand perfectly still and NOT move or flinch and “just enjoy it.”

i justified it all by saying, “i am NOT ACTUALLY touching myself.” But i knew, the same as you do now, that i was anything but compliant. Which is when i felt the guilt rising up, causing the heat to turn cold in a hurry. So i stopped. (Hey, at least i didn’t orgasm!)

The next day though….. i saw that shower head and thought, “Man that felt good.” And did it again. And the third day too.

It was then that David happened to walk in the bathroom at the very moment i was doing it. And i stopped cold in my tracks. It was already too late. He saw. He’s not stupid.

i just knew i would be feeling way more heat on the outside of my ass in just a few short minutes than anything like what i had just been feeling inside my nether regions! That paddle would cause the heat of my pussy to turn ice cold too.

However, to my complete surprise, instead of being mad…. he was amused. He thought it was a smart way to think outside the box and wanted to see it in person. He made me continue for him to watch.

While i don’t know what it feels like to live-work in the red light district of Amsterdam, i have been there and seen it. For those that haven’t, it is an entire street filled with elevated boxes, one after another. And inside those boxes the ladies dance seductively, inviting someone to come inside and partake. When the lady is in the box, they have red lights on and dance. But when someone comes to partake, they turn the light out and pull the curtain. The “boxes” are varying in size, but are substantially similar to a stand up shower size with enough room to move around and not feel claustrophobic and yet small enough to not take up unnecessary space also.

So not exactly the same, but standing in the shower with the glass between us reminded me of those ladies in the red light district. i felt i was “on display” for my Sir to see me “dance” for him. i felt strange and uncomfortable though, like out of my element. Which i think was merely due to the fact i had been caught and was now having to do this for the express purpose of him watching and to gain his approval.

He told me to continue to “see just how close to the edge of orgasm” i could get myself. The following day, he told me to, “Go edge with the shower head.” And made me do it. Again, he came to watch.

He made me go over the edge and orgasm with just the water alone. i didn’t even think that was possible, but i did achieve it and it felt A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

That’s when he changed the rule to, “Touch yourself all you want…. but never with your hand directly on that pussy that belongs to me without a barrier of some sort in between. And never orgasm without permission. And if you do, I expect you to report accordingly.”

Yes Sir.

My first thought was elation for having a bit more freedom now. But that was a week ago. And the self-imposed edging is thrilling…. until i have to force myself to stop.

Stopping (before an orgasm flows forth) is without a doubt… the very hardest thing to do! You just don’t want to. It’s like being in a race, in first place, with your competition so far behind you that you barely even register they are there…. when you suddenly pull up. You STOP at the finish line, without going over. And you stand there so long that someone else wins the race. Now you are standing on the awards podium in the second place position with the winner gloating over you that you lost and they won.

It felt SO good for such a brief moment. And yet… because it felt that good, you are in the blocks ready to go run the very same race again the very next day with the very same ending!

So every day now, i do this self-torture by using that shower head to my (not quite complete) satisfaction. i raise the temperature inside me, in the shower just to finish second on the podium.

That’s when i get out of the shower and ask Sir if i can orgasm. Lately his response is something like, “just took a shower, did ya?? Yeah, good for you! But no, not today. No orgasms today, but ask me tomorrow. Maybe then.”

And he winks at me, only to send me off to dress for the day ahead.

So with that, it is now time for me to go get in the blocks, run the race, and beg for an orgasm… to start my day. Think of me while you are in the shower next, and consider using your removable shower head in creative, temperature-rising ways too!

Hugs,

Marie

164 – Merry RED-ASS Christmas

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i pray you all had an amazing day being surrounded by love one family and our Lord Jesus Christ. Did you receive many great gifts?

i got a new Keurig coffee pot and couldn’t be happier! Tomorrow’s coffee will be super amazing!

What i didn’t do right today though was my attitude. (In my defense, i think it was justified to be upset…. just not to have handled it the way i did!). i got quite upset with Sir earlier this evening and let him know how “rude and inconsiderate” he was.

My family had been over to our house for the day and as she was packing up to leave when David put on his shoes and left for a walk. We NEVER leave our house without telling one another (for any reason), and when he left i had no idea. Add to that, the fact that He/i have been walking together as of late, so W-H-Y he would just go and leave without telling me… or inviting me to go along upset me greatly!

He was either being rude … or inconsiderate… or flat out didn’t even think about me. No matter the case, i had my feelings hurt.

And while he was gone, i texted him and said as much. To which i received a text back that said, “you and I can go walking together when I return from this one.” i felt that was a consolation prize so I texted ONE word…

WHATEVER!

That’s when he texted back. “ASSUME THE POSITION!”

i wrote, “FINE!”

And i went to the bedroom, got naked, and bent over the bed. i typically pray for the Lord to give me strength, to give me the submissive heart He wants me to have, and for the Lord to speak to David’s heart to lead our family too.

But not today. Today i was seething mad. i had half a mind to not even go Assume the Position. i started to just ignore that directive and when he got home, i was going to say, “i was doing the dishes” …. and while it was true, i had been emptying the dishwasher at the time, we both knew it wasn’t what i should have made a priority when i was quite clearly told to Assume The Position.

So i had debated whether or not to even do as told! i was that…. upset….. (hurt really). And i didn’t think i should have to be spanked just because i called him out on what i thought he didn’t do right. (i don’t know if i should literally say he was “wrong,” but i want to.). However, i suppose i didn’t handle my hurt feelings well what so ever either and two wrongs just do not make a right!

But… i am not stupid either. i wasn’t going to give David even more reason to spank me… for disobedience then … so… i did. i assumed the position.

So instead of praying, today i was so mad i just got even more mad and decided i would take whatever he wanted to dish out. Gladly! And never once would i call for yellow (for him to slow down) or red (for him to stop)! i was determined (to be the winner)!

And that’s when he walked in. He picked up the paddle and spanked HARD! Straight out of the gate, from the first swat to the last!

David proceeded to spank my ass H-A-R-D. It was not only hard, but also with intentional intensity. He knew and so did i that while this may be a Friday, this was NOT maintenance. This was a punishment. Unfortunately when i am mad from the start that just spawned me on to dig my heels in deep and become quite stubborn.

He spanked me until i heard myself saying, “i am nearing yellow Sir.”

To which he said, “Are you still mad?”

And i didn’t answer.

He said, “Apparently you are. And until you say ‘Yellow’, i won’t slow down. So, again, I ask, Are you still mad?”

And i squeaked out, “i don’t want to be.”

He said, “Then we need to continue!” And he smacked my ass extra hard three times in the exactly same spot! It hurt SO much!

i offered up, “YES! i am not mad. Will you please stop Sir?”

i was suddenly no longer mad, hurt, or upset. My previous negative emotions had been replaced with just a desire to have this stop. i had suddenly backed down from my stubborn, won’t-give-in thoughts. i no longer wanted to be mad and instead welcomed Sir’s authority and to just have this all end.

But he didn’t stop just then. Instead while continuing to spank me, he asked me again, “Are you mad?”

i said, “No Sir”

While still continuing to spank (quite) hard, he asked, “Are you going to apologize for being rude to me with your tone?”

i said, “Yes Sir. i am sorry Sir.”

And start was when he stopped.

He stood me up, kissed me and said, “I’m sorry, I was not aware your family was leaving and thought I’d give you time to enjoy being with them while I got a quick walk in. We could’ve avoided this disagreement and punishment had you not responded the way you did though too.”

I said, “Thank you Sir for apologizing and explaining. i am sorry too.”

That’s when he said, “Assume the Position again.”

i was confused and asked, “Why??”

He said, “Because is Friday, and we haven’t done maintenance yet.” So i did. i assumed the position for the second time in only a few short minutes!

And he spanked me about 30 or so more times, with less than half the intensity as before, but twice as fast. i more or less screamed right into the pillow nearest me so as to not yell out loud. These particular spanks were not hard really, but on top of an already spanked ass was particularly painful in a hurry!

When completed, he stood me up and kissed me again and said. “How do you feel?”

And i said, “submissive and thankful. Thankful for the leadership that you exert. And most definitely loved too!”

He touched my pussy at that point and said, “what else could make you feel loved?”

i decided to be a bit close to the edge of “acceptable” and i got a devious smile on me face… and without breaking eye contact, i laid down on the bed. Backside to the bed already, i moved backward and laid down and spread my legs wide open.

He laughed and said, “Now don’t be pushy again. While I shouldn’t reward you with this, because it’s Christmas, I’ll give you this gift…..”

And he proceeded to lick me until I orgasmed. At one point, i asked him to stick his fingers inside me and he didn’t. Instead he said, “you never said the magic word.”

i said, “Sir.”

And i felt his finger go straight inside his pussy! i moved my hips so that i was fucking his finger, while feeling his tongue against my clit. i asked if i could cum, and he (thankfully) said yes.

Now i know….. speak better to him, with respect. And use the magic word often…. and i get to cum!

So the day started well, and is ending well. i am SO happy we didn’t get into a fight on Christmas… and i got the gift of love instead.

What could be better?! How was your holiday? Did you get rewarded with a punishment that ended with an orgasm? ❤️

Hugs and Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁

Marie

161 – Clothing optional

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As i said before, i am having a hard time being naked now that it is winter. For two reasons:

1) it’s cold. Are you shivering as you walk around the house!? Or do you sit under many blankets on the couch… making it where you may well not officially have clothing on, but you are still covered up? (Making the naked part a moot point?!)

i am too cold… and practical…. so i want my clothes on.

2) i guess i don’t “enjoy” being naked. What i do enjoy is him noticing, seeing, touching freely, and being happy. Some might call that being an Exhibitionist, including ME. Exploring labels for myself was a short-lived series of posts, but maybe i should revisit that list to see if longer posts are in order… including Exhibitionism because i DO like being on display!

But if those things – Sir noticing, touching, commenting about my nakedness – don’t happen, well….. what’s the point? ……… And then i tell you to see #1 above. Circular referencing… leads to putting clothes on in Winter especially.

But…. you all gave me some ideas in that last post about clothing and i felt inspired. i decided to try something. i don’t have to be wearing full on Winter Wooly (not-sexy) PJ’s just to stay warm.

The first thing i have done is many (many!) searches for “crotchless PJ bottoms” and “PJ bottoms with snaps in the crotch” and “easy access PJ’s”.

i haven’t really found anything that would give David access and me warmth/comfort. What i have found is a lot of lingerie, onesies for smalls to wear diapers underneath, or just regular ole’ PJ’s. Come to think of it, this might be a great product/ business idea…. creating sexy PJ’s that allow for easy access, but warm – when privates are not in use – too! If you have some, or find some on the internet, comment with a link! i want to buy them! or maybe i need to sew some!

Failing that search….. last night i asked to take a bath and David said yes.

FYI: It is a rule that i have to ask to do things i find pleasurable. And i must always ask to get in the tub because i am naked, alone, tits and puss right there to see, fondle, arouse… and well… you get it. This could also be a topic for another post so i will stop here on this and get back to it.

After David granted permission for me to soak in the tub, i decided to make it extra warm. Not scolding, but warm enough that upon exiting i would feel my blood pumping and essentially be “overheated.” To make it where i needed to cool off, rather than add on winter-thick PJ’s.

So this is what i did. And when i got out, i decided to sleep nude. i thought this was a win-win. Not cold, AND able to be on display for his viewing pleasure.

As i walked to my side of the bed, on the wall side, i passed David, on the bathroom side. He had just gotten in bed to read himself and he noticed me walking naked. (As i said … win-win!)

He said, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

i said, “No, not unless you’d like me to be covered up Sir.”

He said, “Won’t you be cold?” (Even he knows how cold i get).

i told him what i had done, and he smiled. That’s when he reached over and played with my (still pierced) nipple. He likes pulling them outward, and especially now when the nipple is semi-erect all the time anyway. Yet another longer post idea, so will also stop here on this too.

As he played with my nipples more, i began to feel aroused and he could see it on my face. He said, “What will happen if you wake up in the middle of the night horny? Will you play with yourself??”

i said, “No Sir. i will have to ignore it and go back to sleep…… OR ….. (insert devious smile on my face)….. i could go down on you and suck you hard, then climb on top of you, and fuck you til i cum. And THEN go back to sleep.”

He smiled and said, “if you can do accomplish all that, then go for it!”

Well, i slept well and never woke til morning. Upon waking today, he said, “i didn’t sleep through my blow job, did I?”

When i responded with, “No Sir,” he asked why i didn’t do it. Of course i told him how i didn’t wake up. Which was all said while putting on a PJ top, to which he asked why.

To that question, i said “because it is cooler in the living room than the bedroom, and besides, i am not covered up by a pile of blankets.”

He responded with only a “hmmmm”.

i think maybe he DOES enjoy seeing my naked body and being able to fondle me at will. Maybe i need to sleep naked more often again too. And when i DO wake up in the middle of the night, even with him sound asleep, fuck him hard… for my own pleasure… it would be for my pleasure until he wakes up and joins with pleasure of his own. 😉

So i get #2 above satisfied with prancing through the bedroom on display for David to notice, and #1 satisfied when we snuggle in to sleep… under the 9-blankets already on the bed!! Making this circular reference go in the best possible order!

Have a great Monday…. Christmas is almost here!

Hugs,

Marie

159 – TMI Tuesday – Polyamory

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TMI Tuesday does a weekly blog post prompt. i haven’t ever participated, but i read many other posts of people who do. i have no particular reason why i haven’t participated, but until now, i haven’t. So today is the day… on this SATURDAY, i will participate in the prompt for the week….

What is considered moral or immoral, accepted or prohibited is generally defined by the norms, values, and beliefs of society.

1. Agree or Disagree. If people want to have more than one spouse they should be allowed to do that.

Agree – i mean, why can’t we? Why is it NOT allowed? What harm is there in allowing people to sleep with (or be in a relationship with) whomever they want…. when it is consensual and openly discussed and openly and fully agreed to?!?

2. Do you believe in ethical non-monogamy?

Yes. My definition of “ethical non-monogamy” means that we have done it in a positive and open way. We haven’t been cheating or deceiving one another one bit. We all agree to be in a sexual relationship with more than one person, and we are all OK with it.

3. Is polyamory something you want?

Most days, yes. Some days, no. Most days, it is very well, good, and lovely. Some days, it just feels like “too much” mentally and physically…. but then, that’s pretty much true in life. Right? Some days it’s just too much!

4. Do you wish that your ethical non-monogamy was a societal/cultural norm?

i wouldn’t say it is “my” ethical non-monogamy, but aside from that and in keeping with the spirit of the question’s intent, Yes.

Again, why can’t we? What is the harm? Oh, i know there can be harm.. mentally. But it doesn’t have to be. And the key is the openness, communication, and agreement by ALL.

i think the “ethical” part comes in when we are open and completely communicate about it. Interesting enough, most Americans believe cheating is grounds for divorce, yet, swinging and open relationships is fun and exciting. So it just shows that COMMUNICATION is key. And when all are on board, it can be FUN and positive…. which ultimately leads to ethical non-monogamy.

5. If you are in or have been in an open sexual relationship, what are the best bits?

We are swingers, which by the definition for most, would qualify as non-monogamists. So, yes, i suppose it would qualify me to answer this question.

We treat swinging like a hobby. Something new, different, keeps things from being stale, gives us more to talk about, and a reason to get together with new and exciting people.

We meet and get to know a lot of people through this lifestyle. And because it is NOT a social norm, although becoming more widely accepted too, it comes with a built-in trust. You can trust swingers to keep your secret. You both have given the other a lot of useful gossip and/or damaging information about one another that if exposed, could cause damage to your reputation. And in some areas, cause job losses or financial disaster. So from the minute you meet a swinger, you already have a built-in trust!

So the best bits are …. fun, excitement, non-stale relationships, and trust.

Bonus: Describe what your ideal intimate and/or sexual relationship would look like today.

If it were entirely up to me and in my full purview (which it’s not!) to make the ideal intimate relationship happen, i would love to meet a couple (swingers), who we are ultimately committed to and us to them in a 4-way relationship. Some might say “married to.” Or maybe a better analogy would be “in a committed long-term, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.” We likely would still live in two homes, but not necessarily. Maybe we would move in together at some point, but maybe not.

We would be 4-way monogamous, meaning any of the 4 of us can have sex with any of the 4 of us but, upon agreeing to be committed to one another, we would only be sexual with the 4 of us. We wouldn’t invite others into our relationship to stay. Ultimately creating a situation where we would (essentially) be married to one another in a 4-way polygamous relationship.

Any of us can have sex with any of us at any (mutually-agreeable) time and without pre-approval from the legal spouse. We would also likely not “just” have 1-on-1 sex, but rather regularly have 3 or 4-somes, in any combination agreeable, also.

We may also agree to swing outside the 4-way marriage, but we likely would not. But that swinging would be for the express purpose of just sex and/or a “hobby” sport, not for seeking long-term relationships, since we have one another already.

What would be appealing to me here is not just the sex, but the commitment. The built-in friendships that grow and blossom. The dinner dates, the shopping buddy, the vacations together, the person who sends a text to say “hi, I’m thinking about you today!” All those things bring a smile to your face and joy in your heart.

And to the question above about “do i want a poly relationship” i responded with “most days.” Well, in my ideal relationship here, that answer would work and still applies. If i don’t want to go to the 4-way family dinner tonight, i don’t have to. If i am not feeling sexual tonight, i don’t have to do that either. But if the other 3 are… they can go to dinner and then have sex as much as they want. And then the next day, when i do feel in the mood for those things, maybe one (or two) also don’t feel like doing those things and the exact combination of who within our 4- would participate could be different yet. And of course, the days where we all want to do things together, we absolutely would! This would keep it very alive and well-good for all of us!

Let’s face it though, i am not in charge in my own traditional (with swinging as just a date) marriage, let alone having the sole ability to craft this 4-way relationship that i have just described above. It may one day naturally just fall into place, but somehow… i sincerely doubt it. And that’s ok! But if it did…. i would be SO happy and well…. oohhh laaa laaaaaa!

Anyone want to apply for the position? 🙂

Hugs,

Marie