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98 – O-B-E-Y an action and more!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Submission. No Comments on 98 – O-B-E-Y an action and more!

The word “obey” has been everywhere for me lately. It has popped up in ways i wouldn’t typically expect. It’s been everywhere… that’s how the word O-B-E-Y has surrounded me.

It started on Sunday at church. Our pastor’s sermon was posed around the question, “what does it mean to O-B-E-Y God?” And the entire sermon was all about obeying God. i heard the word obey about 30’ish times, about once per minute. Enough to cause it to stick in my head as a word of the day.

Ironically though, the word O-B-E-Y apparently wants to be more than just the word of the day! Because it has crossed my path several more times in as many days.

After church we went to lunch at a burger place nearby. The kind of place where you go to the register to order, and with self-serve drinks, pay, and wait for food to be delivered to your table. After our son ordered, he went off to get his drink. Then Sir ordered for me (he rarely does this, but i love it when he does!) and finished with his own order too. And while we were waiting for the credit card to process, he noticed the cashier had a grey shirt on with the single word O-B-E-Y on it.

As we both stood there waiting for the card to finish processing, he said to her, “Is that word OBEY meant for you or others?”

She turned red and said, “uhm.. it’s just a tshirt brand.”

He just shrugged and said, “ahh, I see. Well, that’s a shame.” Then he turned to me and said, “We need to get you one of these, don’t we?”

i looked at him and said, “Yes Sir.”

And then i looked at her and she caught my eye but immediately turned to hand David his card. i think she was unsure what to make of the entire exchange really. He smiled and said, “have a great day!” And we went off to get our drinks, not even waiting for her response. i now have an O-B-E-Y shirt on order…. and mine will have more meaning than “just a tshirt”.

Well apparently the word stuck in Sir’s head the way it did mine then because now i’ve heard him use it a couple of times also. Specifically with him asking me if i want to O-B-E-Y him, which was the point he was making when he told me i’d be sleeping in chastity for the first time the next day on Monday night. And of course, i do want to O-B-E-Y, so i did sleep in chastity without questioning it. (Which by the way was SUPER easy! i was skeptical, but it was no big deal. Thankfully.)

And now this morning on the way to work, on the radio station, the morning crew typically keep it light and upbeat. But today, they started talking a little more intently about different things and one said how “you should O-B-E-Y what God lays on your heart.” The announcers continued this conversation between songs for my entire commute, so i heard this message to OBEY all the way to work.

i decided to google the official definition of O-B-E-Y.

It says:

verb (used with object)

to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of; to submit or conform in action to (some guiding principle, impulse, one’s conscience, etc.).

i am first struck by the type of word it is….. verb…. an action. It isn’t something done to me or for me. No, it is something i chose to do and work to do. Active participation required. Additionally it is a continued effort….by me. It isn’t one and done. Oh, i suppose it could be done just once, but it isn’t too effective unless it is continually implemented. It does take effort to O-B-E-Y.

i chose to O-B-E-Y God and my husband. Everyday. Even when it doesn’t suit me. And sometimes it doesn’t!

And when i fail to O-B-E-Y, punishment ensues which is most often in the form of Domestic Discipline …. or said more plainly….. spanking. i happen to think i’m a pretty strong-willed person overall, which is why sometimes even i surprise myself at how much i want to O-B-E-Y (in theory), but don’t put it to use (in practice)…. resulting in a very red ass!

Why does punishment have to happen if something doesn’t suit me? Aren’t i allowed to disagree? Well, certainly yes, i am. But it is most often the way i reacted or responded that caused the punishment. i am still expected to handle myself appropriately and to still O-B-E-Y … or in other words…. i am still expected to follow instructions, restrictions, or the wishes of Sir even when it doesn’t suit me. And when i disagree (appropriately), Sir considers my opinions and sometimes changes the instructions, but not always.

My life is pretty easy when i just do what the pastor says, the tshirt says, or the radio announcers say… JUST O-B-EY!

And let it become my action of the day, but more than that too…. action of week, month, and years to come! And the new tshirt will be a tangible reminder every time i wear it too!

Hugs,

Marie

97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

So David doesn’t read too many of my blog posts, but on occasion, he does indeed do just that.

And he read the last one about Reverse Psychology during the daytime hours when we were both at work. Afterward, he then texted me and said, “So the whole reason you want to be in chastity is because you will succumb to temptation and you consider yourself weak?”

i responded with, “Yes Sir. Plus it would then keep me being a good girl.”

He texted back, “you should be a good girl without instruments or assistance.”

i said, “the mind is strong, the flesh is weak.”

He responded back, “Hmm”

And that was the end of it…. until today.

i had a massive sinus headache yesterday and went to sleep taking two Benadryl. When i woke, the headache was gone, but i was still groggy. And i just got up and did the “old” routine of go to the kitchen for coffee and sit surfing while drinking coffee and waking up instead of the new routine of going straight to the shower.

And Sir was ready to leave by the time i drank coffee and THEN showered. So before leaving he said, “you didn’t adhere to the new routine. So because I’m leaving now, we need to put you in chastity.”

i was a bit surprised as i didn’t expect that, especially after the last (texting) conversation and all that he’s said about not being a “regular” thing. But i merely said, “yes Sir.” And we put it on.

That’s when he kissed me goodbye and smiled saying, “have a good day… and be a good girl!”

i just said, “Yes Sir, you have a good day too.” Thinking, “of course i’ll be a good girl. i don’t exactly have a choice... but THIS is what you wanted… to have your choice taken away to make it easier to submit. So be glad in it!”

So work was interesting.. for me anyway. i had not gone to work in chastity with a “normal” routine until now. But absolutely no one knew anything was different about me. It is surprisingly well-hidden under all clothing really. And thankfully, i have made appropriate adjustments to wear it long-term without any chafing at all. i have figured out that the tighter it is, the better. Because then it has NO ability to move around, and hence, no chafing.

Well, when i got home from work i expected him to say we would take it off, because i was a good girl today. i didn’t ask to not wear it, i didn’t ask to take it off, and i didn’t complain about wearing it. But when he didn’t tell me i could take it off, i asked if it could come off.

He said, “No. I’d like to keep it on. In fact, I’d like you to sleep with it. Ohhh and we are drinking wine with dinner.”

He KNOWS i get very turned on and very sexted up when i drink wine! And typically, i get sex or orgasm(s) or both when we share a bottle of wine. But no way while in chastity!

i must’ve had a surprised look on my face because that’s when he smirked and said, “well, you said you weren’t strong and your flesh was weak and you needed help…. so…. I’m giving you that help you so need.”

So here i am, locked up, feeling horny after drinking wine and SO wanting to suck or be sucked. i asked him if i could suck his cock. He said, “No. when i want you to do that, i will tell you. And tonight is not it.”

So instead, i get ready for sleep. And as we climb into bed, Sir says, “you gonna be able to sleep in chastity?”

i responded, “do i have a choice?”

He laughed and said, “no, not really…. although officially and technically you do since you have the key.” (Which he gave to me this morning for “emergency use only”)

i asked, “what will happen if i use it?”

He said, “do you really want to go there?”

Me, “No Sir”

Sir, “I didn’t really think so.”

Ultimate lesson learned: Careful what you wish for…….. or write on your blog! 😉

But… that said…… i couldn’t be happier than now with Sir taking charge, giving me direction, guidance, and leading me in every way! THIS is what i really want… to have him lead and know that he is respected and as such, i will obey. That even when i have the key and can make my own choice to unlock myself… we both know that i won’t!

Hugs,

Marie

96 – Reverse Psychology

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 96 – Reverse Psychology

i am struggling. i went from being afraid of chastity, to wanting it full time.

Why would i want it full time? Because it is preventative. i know i am not to touch myself without permission. But that’s easier said than done!

Prior to this rule in place, i touched myself in a seductive, sultry way every single day! And i made myself orgasm 2-4 times a week. Which being honest was ultimately not good. Because frequently i did it without Sir present and often him not even knowing…. where i hid it in the bedroom or bathroom to have “me” time. And it led to not wanting or having husband/wife time. Because when he was ready to do something, i was already “done” and not truly interested.

But as a result of how easy it was to satisfy my own needs, ever since this rule has been in place, i have struggled.

The official rule is “no masturbation and orgasm without permission.” So technically i can TOUCH myself…. in a seductive and sultry way. But the temptation is so great that one just simply leads to the next! And it’s easier to NOT do ouch at all then.

So the chastity belt was my idea. It would lock up what’s not mine. And Sir agreed.

Until it came. And it took me overcoming the mindset of how it looked. It looked mean and intimidating. But when i did, i saw it would be my new best friend! It was helpful and useful, and while tight fitting not hard to wear at all.

And that’s when he said, “it doesn’t need to be used that often.”

So now for a week, i have actually only worn it 3 x’s – Day 1: a couple hours, Day 2: 12-hours, and now today…. and not long yet, but we shall see.

i have all but BEGGED Sir to leave it on indefinitely or at least for a reallyyyyyyy long time.

He said, “NO. It’s not necessary.”

Well….. i am frustrated. If i can’t control myself and he won’t let me be proactive about it, that sets me up for failure. So why? Why not? Like what’s the reason WHY he had the NO answer????

And i asked him.

It was risky for me to be so bold. And i had tried (for a week now) to just accept it for what it is

[No means NO]. Right?? Shouldn’t have to be explained. Should be accepted as is.

But it has gotten the best of me today. And you are thinking, “why today if you are locked up?” Because being locked up feels good! i feel relief. i have removed the temptation and it is now not even a thing. i truly feel less stress with it on! And i thought, “W-H-Y can’t we just make this the norm? Why can’t i just wear it (mostly) all the time, except for Plan B times when he wants access and we are together… in which case i won’t touch anyway!”

So i said, “i don’t understand why you are hesitate to lock me in chastity more frequently. It would help me if you did.”

And i prayed, “Lord, let him hear my questioning in the GOOD way i am intending it to be!”

And he did.

His response was, “Because it will lose the effectiveness and make you think that when you don’t have it on that you can do what you want!”

So that’s opposite of what i was thinking really.

And i guess he might be right. i guess it may just allow me to be mentally lazy when i rely on it to prevent myself from touching if the belt is there….. and serve to set my mind (and fingers) into overdrive when it’s available.”

And let’s face it…. living in chastity 24/7 is NOT an option. Oh maybe for awhile…. sure…. but not as a viable, completely always that way option. In fact, in 6-days we are getting on a plane to go for a week vacation in the mountains of Colorado. It can’t be worn through security!

Although what i’d love to see the looks of TSA agents when they did a pat down and discovered it! I’m sure they’ve seen it all before… but i haven’t seen them seeing it all before! 😉. Of course…. perhaps that could lead to me being arrested and not getting on the plane at all too! And clearly, THAT is not an option…. which means chastity full time is also not an option!

So i guess i have to work on my mental submission being stronger…. i obviously struggle here and it will be something to overcome….. sometimes in chastity and well…. sometimes not.

i won’t deny…. i just wish he’d lock me up more often and allow me to have stress-free days. (Ok so not totally stress free…. but MORE stress free.)

Until next time…. locked in Chastity for now and am now off to have a relaxing STRESS FREE day!

Hugs,

Marie

95 – Am i crazy? i just might be!

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So the question of the day is: how does it “FEEL” to be submissive? (And … “am i crazy?”)

Let’s start by defining submissive…. “ready to conform to the will of another; obedient; passive, compliant, agreeable.”

MENTAL: being submissive starts with a state of mind. It is an action. To be obedient and passive is a choice. It is an intentional choice to be compliant and agreeable. It’s not something done to me, but something i choose to do.

Why do i chose to be submissive? Mostly… because i can. And it feels good. It feels good to agree with Sir, to let him be responsible – take charge – and for me to let go. And … to know that all i really have to do is……. just agree. i don’t have to be in charge of everything. i don’t have to be “right” either. i am even ok with being right and not getting recognition for it too.

i feel “free” when i don’t have responsibility to do anything… except for whatever makes him happy. Or whatever he tells you to. Or whatever keeps happiness between us.

PHYSICAL: Like most things in life for all of us, when i do good… i get rewarded. And when i don’t, well… i don’t. So in a D/s marriage, that typically means things along a sexual nature but not always. So i get to orgasm, get him to orgasm, have sex, and spend time with Sir… when i am a good girl. But when i am not…. that typically means spanked ass, denial, or loss of privileges.

And i dare say most (non D/s) marriages don’t have as much sexual energy and interactions as ours.

And even for the non-sexual activities, i still submit. Why? Again, because it’s agreeable. And so it works. Is there really any tv shows that i really want to see and therefore must be in control of the remote? And do i really need to have Mexican food for dinner instead of Chinese? No. i don’t.

So when i submit …. i feel good. And i get to look and feel sexy to my husband, which leads to orgasm. And when i don’t, i stand in the corner, get my ass turned red, or go to bed early.

MENTAL: But if i were to look in from the outside most people would think my marriage, viewpoints, and lifestyle is over the top outrageous… which would make me certifiably C-R-A-Z-Y! They’d probably question how much is (truly) consensual too…. because (they would say) that no one volunteers for the things that i – not only encourage – but actually ask for!

Right?!?!

C-R-AZ-Y. It feels like i am crazy sometimes. Insane. Officially over the edge. Commit me now. i truly do legitimately wonder this…. am i crazy to want this in my life and marriage? i probably am, depending on who you ask. Let me explain further.

So it is absolutely true that my lifestyle is nowhere near what mainstream would deem acceptable or appropriate or normal.

Okay, let’s go with that. Great. Ok. i am willing to own it….. we are not “normal”. At least not “normal” according to a mainstream definition of it anyway. Maybe i would argue that maybe mainstream isn’t right. At least as it relates to marriage. At the rate of divorce, i don’t know that i think that the “normal” definition and way of doing things for a marriage is the “right” way. i mean, seriously, if the “normal” way of marriage was SO great and the “right way,” then why do so many of them fail?

And you know what? i am O-K with that… bring abnormal. Why?

Well…. we have a GOOD marriage. i might dare say GREAT. Because we are completely together. We are completely committed. And i have NO doubt we will stay this way. In a D/s relationship with DD as a way to deal with disagreements. And doing it in a crazy way!

i guess what i’m driving at is … maybe i AM crazy. And maybe our marriage is abnormal. But for me, i’ll just embrace this crazy abnormal marriage and be happy in it.

Because while i do crazy things like pierce my nipples, wear chastity belts or an anal plug out in public, and get my ass spanked every Friday morning to reinforce the ways we like to do things ….it is all ultimately under my clothes …. the ones that are completely “normal” and accepted by society’s mainstream.

So how does it feel to be submissive? Crazy. Abnormal. Obedient. And that can sometimes lead to blissful orgasms… or blistered asses.

And i am OK with it all!

Hugs,

Marie